At the hour of remembrance, until the pain of loss subsides, the first thing to remember is delicacy... Find out, see examples of words of condolence and. These guides will provide an overview of ethics of remembrance and prompt true words of consolation.

But memorial speech has its own specifics. In it you turn to a whole circle of guests who gathered to comfort their loved ones, to remember the deceased themselves and listen to what friends and relatives have to say about him. They are waiting for your words, and your mourning speech can sound with b O the greatest pathos than is customary for personal expressions of condolences.

The words of mourning directly at the funeral should be extremely short, but speech at the commemoration may not be limited to a couple of phrases.

Memorial words of sorrow and mourning speech

First, introduce yourself and, if this is not obvious to everyone, tell me who you are to the deceased. Many will speak at the commemoration. That's why funeral speech should be laconic, and thoughts are expressed accurately. Guests will understand if the phrase is interrupted by a sudden cry. But unpreparedness, verbiage, and even more drunk babbling, the audience will perceive as a sign of disrespect for the deceased. Don't rely on improvisation! Have a short thesis with you, and at home or on the way to the funeral ceremony, repeat your memorial speech several times.

Don't retell the biography - enough tell about one bright case, an episode of life so that guests will remember this one. It is important that the event you describe should highlight one of the positive features the deceased. Better tell me about that episode which you yourself highly appreciated... Study examples that are close to them (each obituary contains an episode from life and condolences).

Emphasize the public's attention to the character trait that your story has demonstrated. Any negative trait has a light side. Examples of complimentary synonyms:

• About a grumpy person, you can say "He gave me a lesson to be critical of the world."
• About the tight-fisted: "Caution, rationality and foresight are what we all lack today, and what we can learn from the deceased."
• Carelessness in finances: "He was so confident in a better future ..."
• Suspicion: "Knew human nature ..."
• Not very smart: "Gullible, naive, so he believed people ..."
• Arrogant: "He knew his own worth, only the best entered his circle ..."
• Stubborn, stubborn: "Principled ..."
• Yielding, without a core: "Conflict-free ... His credo is a compromise."

At the commemoration one cannot talk about shortcomings: “ About the deceased or good or nothing"- this is the basis of the foundations of commemoration etiquette. It is not worth remembering, especially aloud, about failures, weaknesses, sins and grievances. Forgiveness, reconciliation, remembering the best- this is the necessary aura of the memorial ceremony.

Words of sorrow it is appropriate to supplement with a quote from the deceased's thoughts: an order, instruction, commandment or moral maxim, which he voiced during his lifetime. Then the mourning speech should be brought to the mention of the benefits that he brought to relatives and society. To conclude that a person did not live his life in vain and to promise eternal memory in the hearts of the relatives and friends of the deceased.

“May the earth rest for him / her! Everlasting memory!" You can finish your memorial speech with these words, but many will do so. It is better to choose an appropriate epitaph, consonant with the personality of the deceased:

• If you or the deceased are believers, look here:, or phrases.
• If, on the contrary, the deceased is consistent.
• For the deceased, as well as an epitaph.
• Many beautiful ideas of words of sorrow in or in epitaphs.

Remembrance Protocol

At the commemoration, you need to stand to honor the deceased a minute of silence... The presenter's mission is entrusted to a close family person who, in a mourning atmosphere, will be able to control his emotions. He gives the floor in turn relatives by the degree of closeness - spouse, children or parents, close relatives, and then friends of the deceased.

The presenter should prepare several phrases in advance in order to remove the pause and switch the guests' attention if the speaker's speech is interrupted by tears. It is customary to pronounce memorial words while standing..

Orthodox Christian tradition of commemoration

If the deceased was a believer, then the commemoration should be held according to church customs, in compliance with church rituals... Speeches and prayers are key components of a Christian memorial service. After the ceremony, the host should thank all the guests for coming to the memorial service and praying for the soul of the newly departed. Mourning speeches pronounced when everyone has already gathered at the table.

In the Orthodox Christian tradition, commemoration begins with psalm 90 and. The atmosphere at the table is restrained, you need to talk quietly, in a half-whisper. The first word is given to the head of the family. Then the commemoration is conducted by the head of the ceremony - a person who is respected by the guests and close to the family. Funeral words at Orthodox memorial services pronounced by seniority. Anyone who wants to speak, can and should get the floor.

Funeral toasts * at Orthodox commemoration end with the words: May the earth be [Name] in peace, and eternal memory! Everyone drinks without clinking glasses and bowing to the portrait or free space the deceased.

* Alcohol is not included in the Orthodox tradition of commemoration (see). But the practice of remembering "without clinking glasses" is deeply rooted in the people. It is important to observe the measure!

It is known in Orthodoxy that, thanks to prayers, funeral services and other Christian rituals, the rushing soul of the newly departed becomes easier. A kind, warm word from relatives and friends pacifies the soul of the deceased and dulls the grief of loved ones. At the end of the commemoration, getting up from the table, everyone bows to a portrait or to the side of the deceased... Leaving,. It is not customary to say goodbye at a commemoration.

Poems at the commemoration? Yes, but delicately and in moderation.

When expressing condolences personally, face to face, it is undesirable to refer to the verse. Read gathered at a common table friends of the deceased can - after all, everyone expects mournful sayings, memories and some pathos. Possibly in verse... The main thing is that the rhyme is not vulgar, that it reflects the best features of the deceased and corresponds to the moment. And there was brief... Or very brief.

Example of a mourning speech at a funeral

In order not to shackle with the "correct" but unsuitable speech for you, instead of concrete example we will offer the optimal structure of the memorial word with examples of phrases.

Appeal:

• Dear friends and relatives of [Name]!
• Dear guests!
• Brothers and sisters!
• Dear family and friends of our beloved [Name]

Personal positioning in relation to the deceased(modestly):

• I am the nephew of our revered [Name].
• I am the brother of [Name] we remember today.
• [Name] and I have worked / served together for a long time / recent years.

About the mourning event(news of death or remembrance of a funeral):

• My father was ill for a long time; we understood what would happen, but when they called us from the hospital ...
• When I found out that [Name] was dead, that evening I could not think of anything else.
• Although my grandfather lived a long life, the news of death struck me.
• Today is 40 days since my mother left us.
• A year ago, we said goodbye to [Name], a respected and worthy person.

Few words about the best qualities of the deceased:

• Grandma was the kindest person, a hospitable and hospitable hostess.
• She was a support and a reliable rear for the deceased spouse five years ago.
• He was known as a joker and an optimist, it was easy and carefree with him.
• He gave confidence in the future and was a support for others.

Quote the mandate, advice, or moral value that the deceased encouraged loved ones to follow. Then, in a few phrases, tell about a highlight or episode of life, which illustrates the positive quality of the deceased. It's good if this one is yours short story will complement the mosaic of opinions of other guests of the commemoration. Finish it by commemorating the deceased with gratitude or admiration for this personality trait.

Cover your speech with the promise of eternal memory. In conclusion, it is permissible, but if the newly reposed was a believer, and there are many Christians among the guests, then complete the memorial speech. Keep it short: long speech is difficult to understand. And all the guests of the ceremony should be allowed to speak.

How to save money?

Letter. “Dear Lyudmila Masterina! Women from Severodonetsk write to you. You performed a ritual with us « Seeing off the human soul to another world. " We discussed the whole wire course for a long time, and decided to ask you for its content. We really liked how exactly, how true, how correctly the words and prayers were chosen, and how touching and lovingly it was performed. We think that this is a true and correct example of how to escort the soul of the deceased into another world. Everything is clear, everything is correct and everything is clear. We especially liked the voice in which you read prayers and appeals to the soul. And if all people saw off the souls of their loved ones in this way, then there would be no attachments from the deceased to relatives, and the soul would be calmer. We all want to have the content of this ritual. "Seeing off the soul to another world for 40 days". We ask you, Lyudmila Masterina, to publish it on the site, and we will rewrite it. We think that it is necessary not only for us, but it will be of interest to other people as well. We ask you very much and thank you for those moments of joy that we spent together.
Respectfully yours: Zinaida and seven other people. Severodonetsk. Ukraine.

Seeing off the human soul to another world for 40 days. This ritual of Seeing Off the Soul is performed on day 40, before lunch. It is necessary that there was a lamp that burned for 40 days, and all those present were holding a lighted candle in their hands. Everyone is obliged to read prayers, in a half-whisper, clearly, clearly, thoughtfully, consciously, personally everyone should pray for the soul, which today (on the 40th day) flies to God. Everyone who prays and reads prayers, on his own behalf, sends the warmth of his soul to the soul of a deceased person, which is present here, but no one sees it. If a person does not read prayers, but simply holds a candle, then he does not help the departing soul in any way. And it's bitter to see when the room is packed, there is no other word for it, there are a lot of people, relatives and strangers, and only the priest reads prayers, and this is at best, the rest are holding a candle, nothing more. Tell me why they filled the room, that it is very difficult for a departing soul to approach to a loved one. The soul perceives only the one who turns to it, so you need to know what you CANNOT do while reading the prayers on the 40th day.
1. While reading prayers, you cannot think about something bad or bad about the deceased himself, this can attract dark forces that are not averse to feasting on the energy that will come from prayers. But even after the soul leaves, it is also NOT possible to speak or think badly about the deceased. Your dirty thoughts and words convey to your deceased loved ones dark forces, which, with pleasure, will do this, since they need the energy of life, and they will take it from the soul of your deceased loved one, and this is the strongest pain that you do not feel, but the soul feels. And know that if you send Light, Warmth, Good, Peace and Love to your friends and relatives, then the warmth of your soul not only clears the space, but also helps purposefully, also to the soul of the deceased, your prayers, your warmth, your love, your bright the memory of the departed soul will be purposefully transferred by the Lord only to her, and this will give her strength and the earliest awareness of her mistakes and sins. Think of the departed with warmth and love, no matter what they were in life. They really need your prayers and your bright memory of them.
2. It is impossible that in the crowd of those who prayed there were people drunk, or very sick, since with their state they not only hurt the departing soul, but also attract dark forces.
3. You cannot speak in a raised voice, otherwise you will frighten the soul, and it will have to wait in the wings outside the house. Only calmness, peace and a wish for love to the departing soul.
4. You can not turn on any music and light candles with different smells, but incense is allowed. The soul needs Fresh air, cleanliness, tranquility and peace.
5. You cannot read prayers quickly, loudly, without pronouncing the words, otherwise the outgoing soul will not understand the words of the prayer, but the loud voice, and if it is still unexpected, it can get scared, fly out of the house and wait in the wings in a secluded place.
6. You cannot invite outsiders to read prayers on the 40th day, as is customary in Russia. This cannot be done. You do not know what past these women have, and what thoughts and deeds they performed earlier, and why they decided to go and read prayers for dead people. The Lord is against such an action, and in order for it to be true, learn to do everything right yourself. After all, the soul of a person close to you leaves, and you read prayers to him with love, and with what love do strangers read them?
7. It is necessary that on the fortieth day only relatives who knew him well should pray for the soul of a deceased person. Strangers who came to eat, and not help the soul of the deceased, and who will repeat prayers with indifference (if they still repeat) are not desirable. Another soul of a loved one leaves the world, and she wants to hug her loved ones for the last time, and the presence of strangers can prevent her from doing this. Therefore, it is advisable that in the last reading of the prayers there were only those closest, and those who came to see or simply accompany the deceased on their last journey, will wait on the street, for example. It is the closest ones who remain with the soul of the deceased and say goodbye to it through prayers and through a heartfelt feeling.

The ritual can be conducted by a priest, unfortunately, modern priests are unlikely to agree to conduct such wires of the soul, but not necessarily he. It can be led by someone from relatives or someone close, who has a clear and correct speech. The presenter reads slowly and clearly, and everything is also repeated slowly, clearly, consciously and in a half-whisper in the first person. Over time, True Clairvoyants will be invited to such rituals so that they can convey the last words of the departing soul to everyone to whom it turns. I said, True clairvoyants, not those who are associated with the astral plane of the Earth. True clairvoyants and clairaudient ones are directly merged with God, who helps the clairvoyant in their work, and such a person speaks the truth, which cannot be said about those who read astral plane... So, the lamp is on, candles are lit, there is a photo of the deceased on the table, in the room are relatives and closest ones. Calm, as much as possible, and silence.
1.Master:

“In the Name of the Father, Son, Holy Spirit. Amen! In the Name of the Father, Son, Holy Spirit and Divine Mother. Amen! God the Father, God the Sun, God the Holy Spirit. Amen!" All are baptized.
2. Turning to God.

“Our Lord, Master Jesus Christ, I turn to You, to Your Great Heart. Our Merciful Lord, today another son of yours (name), (your daughter, name) makes the transition into the world. He has a long way to Parents' House to the World of Light, Love and Goodness. I ask You, Lord, Sovereign Jesus Christ, to convey to his soul the love and warmth of my soul, my heart, which I send through prayers. Let the light of my prayers flow into your Divine Light and give (name) strength and confidence on the path to God Almighty. God the Father, God the Sun, God the Holy Spirit. Amen! In the Name of the Father, Son, Holy Spirit and Divine Mother. Amen.
3. PRAYERS.
a) "O Supreme Lord and Your particle is in me!" 3 times. ("Agni Yoga" Helena Roerich)
b) Symbol of Faith. Jesus Christ. (Prayer book "Sun Ray" or the site www.masterina.at.ua, on the page "Prayers")
c) Prayer of earthlings to the Lord. Jesus Christ. (Prayer Book "Sunbeam")
d) Our Father. (Prayer Book "Sunbeam")
e) Theotokos. (Prayer Book "Sunbeam")
f) Rosary of Mother Mary, given for the development of a new humanity... (Prayer Book "Sunbeam")
g) Prayer for the dead.(Prayer book "Sunbeam") We read it twice, inserting only the name of the deceased, the third time we read it for all souls in the other World. Yes, for all the dead, since the soul goes into another world and is expected and it is necessary that the Light and Help of God come with it).

Prayer for all the dead. Jesus Christ.
In the Name of the Lord Jesus Christ,
In the Name of All Ascended Masters,
In the Name of All Saints not ascended,
I ask you to direct my prayers to where those who have passed to the other side of life are now. I ask you to send the Light of my prayers to those souls who have been forgotten and do not remember, as well as to all my departed relatives and friends.
I ask the Lord to direct to them the warmth of my soul, my respect for them, my love for their souls, like the Spark of God.
I ask the Lord to forgive them all the sins that they have committed knowingly and unknowingly.
I ask the Lord to direct the Light of Heaven to them as much as they need to realize their mistakes and sins.
Merciful Lord! I ask You to forgive them and have mercy! Forgive and have mercy! Forgive and have mercy!
Send your Love to their souls so that they can become stronger and stronger, so that awareness goes faster. God! Forgive them and have mercy!
God! Forgive them and have mercy! God! Forgive them and have mercy!
May all souls always be surrounded by the Light of Heavenly Love and the Blessing of the Lord.
Kingdom of Heaven to you all! Kingdom of Heaven to you all! Kingdom of Heaven to you all! In the Name of the Father, Son, Holy Spirit and Divine Mother. Amen.

4. An appeal to the soul of the deceased.
(Name), I know that you can hear me now, which means that I have the opportunity to ask your forgiveness.
(Name), forgive me for all my mistakes, all insults towards you. Forgive me for everything if I have ever knowingly or not knowingly done you badly. I'm sorry, I'm sorry! (We are silent for a few seconds).
(Name) and I forgive you for anything you ever hurt, insulted, deceived me or hurt me. I forgive you for everything, for everything sincerely and forever.
“I forgive everyone who offended me, I apologize to those whom I offended”(Everyone reads it consciously, three times).
(Name), I forgive you and let you go(this word is clearer and slower) you from yourself, sending you the warmth of your soul, your heart.(3 times, clearly, consciously).
And may my forgiveness and my love free you from all earthly bonds and make you free... (3 times, clearly, consciously)
You will forever remain in my memory, only we will live in different Worlds.(3 times, clearly, consciously)
Your soul will fly to God, to the Parental House, and I will stay on Earth.(3 times, clearly, consciously).
And let the thread that connects me and you break forever, but the bright memory and love for each other will forever remain.(3 times, clearly, consciously).
I RELEASE YOU FROM MYSELF WITH PEACE AND LOVE!(3 times, clearly, consciously and confidently).
In the Name of the Father, Son, Holy Spirit and Divine Mother. Amen! (3 times)
May the Heavenly Angels help you to ascend to the House of the Most High Father!(3 times)
May the Love of God the Great meet you!(3 times)
And may the Power of the Fiery Cross and the Love of the Heavenly Father be with you forever.(3 times)
Live and know that on Earth you are loved and remembered!(3 times, clearly and confidently)
In the Name of the Father, Son, Holy Spirit and Divine Mother. Amen! 3 times.
5. A minute of silence.

6. Thanksgiving prayer.
From the bottom of my heart I bring my gratitude and Love to our Heavenly Father, Lord Jesus Christ, to all Masters, Archangels, Angels, Saints of Heavenly Light, who help me and all people of the planet Earth. Low bow to YOU, Beloved, for your love for us, people and the whole planet. Let the Light of Your Love illuminate our consciousness and direct us to Light, Peace, Good, Mutual understanding and Love. In the Name of the Father, Son, Holy Spirit and Divine Mother. Amen. In the Name of the Father, Son, Holy Spirit and Divine Mother. Amen. God the Father, God the Sun, God the Holy Spirit. Amen.(Read this prayer warmly, heartily, thoughtfully once).

All repeat. May the Dawn of Love rise over the entire planet Earth and over every living being! (3 times) With God! With God! With God !

7. Host . And now I will say a prayer. It is read before the body is buried in the ground, and we will all leave the body for exactly one hour.

Prayer before burying the body in the ground

In the Name of the Lord the Most High Father, in the Name of the Lord Jesus Christ, we ask the Angels of Healing to take Divine energy from every cell, every joint, every vessel and the entire skeletal system of the physical body in which the soul (name) lived, and direct all the liberated energy to the soul ( name), which has given life to this body over the years.

Merciful Lord! We ask forgiveness if the physical body and mind of the deceased (his) (name) made mistakes and sins. Forgive her (him), Lord! Forgive her (him), Lord! Forgive her (him), Lord!

We know that your soul (name) is now here and you yourself see and hear everything. You (name) have time to say goodbye to your physical body... It will no longer be useful to you, but you are alive, and we will always remember you with love and kindness. Kingdom of Heaven to you! Kingdom of Heaven to you! Kingdom of Heaven to you! Happy journey to the Almighty Father!

In the Name of the Father, Son, Holy Spirit and Divine Mother. Amen. In the Name of the Father, Son, Holy Spirit and Divine Mother. Amen. God the Father, God the Sun, God the Holy Spirit. Amen.

They stand in silence for a minute, then leave the body alone for an hour. It is impossible that at this time there was noise, screams. Angels will work in silence and a soul will be with them, and noise, knocking, loud voices can interfere with them. While reading the prayers, I saw and then told the relatives how the soul flew up to everyone and said goodbye, and when everyone was sitting at the table, I conveyed the farewell words of the soul to the leaving relatives. You need to know that the soul will be next to relatives and at the table if the room is quiet and everyone talks in a half-whisper. After parting words, the soul bowed to everyone, said: “It's time for me to leave. Farewell!" She bowed to everyone and disappeared. The clock showed 13 o'clock. By 15 o'clock everyone went to the cemetery, since it is at 15 o'clock every day that the "gates" to the other world open, and they are open until 17 o'clock. I ask everyone, do not take anything with you to the cemetery. All that is needed, you have already done, now you need to help the soul ascend the Great Ladder, which leads to the Heavenly Father. And we waited for the opening of the gate, and with God and prayer helped the soul to ascend to the Lord. And I saw how the Angels gave their soul to God, how the most tender Light of Love surrounded her, and allowed her to wave her hand to us standing on Earth. Happy journey to the World of Light, Kindness and Love. That's all. Now, indeed, everyone will live in their own World, and God bless everyone living on our Earth, and everyone living in another World. With God!

My friends from Severodonetsk, I have fulfilled your request, and I hope that the ritual "Seeing the Human Soul to Another World for the 40th Day" will be accepted by people correctly. We told you how Baptisms will take place in the future all over the Earth, and now you will know how to properly see off the souls of those close to you who have died. And this ritual " Seeing off the soul to another world on day 40 " will become common to all souls living on Earth. The time will come when all our prayers will be translated into all languages ​​of the world, and this ritual will become common for everyone. And this is the Truth! And in conclusion, I want to say that as soon as you start reading prayers, the Lord Himself will read with you. And this is 100% true. I saw it all with my own eyes.

And returning to the letter, I would like to address the residents of Severodonetsk and the residents of nearby villages. Severodonetsk is a beautiful city, I think its inhabitants are wonderful, but with what sadness I looked at your cemeteries, which have no borders, have no fencing, which means that its border is open for many kilometers. But you know, you can't make a cemetery in a forest, especially a coniferous one. And if the Lord allows the soul to fly in on Memorial Day to meet with relatives, then it, among the trees, will not be able to find its grave, and most importantly, it can hurt itself on the sharp needles of a pine tree, and of course, it is unlikely that it will want to meet with relatives again on certain days ... And you will come to an empty grave, as some already do. The cemetery should be open on all sides, but always fenced off on all sides. The inhabitants of the cemetery should only know their territory, they do not go beyond its borders. What do you have? And you have beautiful forests, wonderful pines, but someone, not deliberately, made a grave at the edge of the forest, and off they went. Now they bury someone in the forest, wherever they want. It's scary! This is not true! It is dangerous for living people! Why doesn't anyone think about it? Just imagine, a huge coniferous forest, with its mushrooms and berries, has been turned into a continuous cemetery. In this forest, nothing can be torn, you can not walk, rest, since the entire forest belongs to the inhabitants of the cemetery. I saw a huge number of them throughout the forest. I saw in the depths of the forest road, on which accidents have already occurred, and, as the drivers later said, it happens like a blackout for seconds. And so it is. And this is all the tricks of the inhabitants of the cemetery, they are offended that without their permission you enter their territory. Is there really a need to take a huge forest from people and give it to astral spirits? I think this is just human irresponsibility, and “my house is on the edge, I don’t know anything,” or maybe the local authorities really don’t know anything? Maybe so, then I sincerely feel sorry for them, what a pity everyone who is surrounded by such cemeteries.
Learn, people, to do everything right, sincerely, consciously and with love. We gave you information that is already working on Earth, but to accept or not to accept, depends only on you.
Bless everyone who reads these lines, Lord, for correct awareness.
Peace to you people! Peace to your home! Peace to our earth!

Lyudmila Masterina. FULL AND ADDITIONAL TEXT in the BOOK "LIFE LESSONS" VOLUME №3

Tags: seeing off the soul, Light, Love.

40 days after death - how to remember and how to pray for the deceased?

After the death of a person, they commemorate on the 3rd, 9th and 40th days and the last date is considered the most important, since the soul goes to the Judgment and its further destiny is decided. There are many traditions associated with this day that people observe in order to help a deceased person on this responsible day.

What does 40 days after death mean?

The fortieth day of commemoration of a deceased person is considered a certain line that separates earthly and eternal life. From a religious point of view, it is a more tragic date in comparison with physical death. 40 days after the funeral is a date that reminds people that the soul, after the end of earthly life, goes to its Heavenly Father. Wake can be considered a kind of act of mercy.

Where is the soul of the deceased until 40 days?

Many people note that at first they feel the presence of a deceased person, which is manifested by smell, sighs, steps, and so on. This is due to the fact that for forty days the spirit does not leave the place where it dwelt.

How to pray for a deceased person up to 40 days?

Remembering dead people is the duty of every believer. According to the church, it is necessary to pray especially diligently during the first forty days after death. A 40-day prayer for seeing off the soul can be said in church or at home. If a person chooses the second option, then it is recommended that women tie a scarf on their heads and light candles in front of the image of the Lord. Finding out the rules of 40 days after death and how to remember it, it is worth noting that prayer during this period helps to gain faith in the soul and it is easier to cope with the loss of a loved one.

“Son of God, Lord Jesus Christ. Satisfy my heart's grief over the deceased slave (name of the deceased). Help me to cope with a grievous loss, but give me strength to endure grief. And take in the fortieth sorrow day the soul of the deceased (name of the deceased) into the Kingdom of Heaven. And it will be so now, everlastingly, forever and ever. Amen".

Can 40 days be remembered earlier?

Life is unpredictable and there is often no way to carry out planned events. The clergy say that if it is not possible to remember the deceased on day 40, then it is not a tragedy or a sin, since it can be done in advance or even later. It is forbidden to transfer the commemoration to the liturgy, memorial service and cemetery. Many more are interested in how to count 40 days from the day of death, since the first day is the day of death itself, even if the death occurred late in the evening before midnight.

What is cooked for 40 days after death?

On this day, a memorial dinner is sure to be arranged, the purpose of which is to remember the deceased and pray for his peace. It is important to remember that food is not the main one, so you do not need to try to prepare a smart menu with a lot of delicacies. A memorial dinner for 40 days, the menu of which should take into account the rules of Christianity, implies the observance of several important principles:

What are they carrying to the cemetery for 40 days?

According to tradition, on memorial days, people go to the cemetery to say goodbye to a loved one. It is necessary to take flowers with you to the grave, which should be in pairs, and a candle. With these objects, the living can express their respect for the deceased. You can't talk loudly at the grave, have snacks, and even more so drink alcohol. Another important point regarding what is brought to the cemetery for 40 days is that as a treat for the deceased, you can take a plate of kutya from home and leave it at the grave.

What is handed out for 40 days?

There are many traditions associated with memorial days. On the fortieth day, it is customary to distribute various treats to people so that they remember the deceased. In most cases, biscuits, sweets and pastries are provided. Customs for 40 days after death say that during the first forty days after death, it is necessary to distribute the belongings of the deceased person to people in need, asking them to pray for his soul. This tradition is not described in the Bible and is a personal decision of each.

Memorial service for 40 days - when to order?

On the fortieth day of commemoration of the deceased, it is imperative to go to the temple, where you can pray and order a panikhida and magpie.

40 days after death - traditions and rituals

In Russia, a huge number of customs were formed, many of which have survived to this day. Exists different signs, which cannot be done before 40 days, but at the same time it is worth noting that many of them are fiction and the church does not confirm them. Among famous traditions the following can be distinguished:

Why can't you gnaw seeds for up to 40 days?

Over the years, various customs have been formed related to the commemoration of dead people, and some of them will seem strange to many. For example, there is a prohibition concerning the fact that you cannot gnaw seeds for up to 40 days, since this way you can spit on the soul of a deceased person. There is another explanation for this sign, according to which, those who violate this prohibition will have toothache for a long time. The third version of the interpretation of superstition concerns the fact that clicking seeds can attract evil spirits and devils.

Why are spoons given out for 40 days?

Since ancient times, there has been a custom to hand out spoons made of wood, with which people ate at a memorial dinner. V modern world such cutlery is not used, so ordinary spoons are distributed. The sign is explained by the fact that when a person uses such a device, he involuntarily remembers the deceased. There is another strange superstition according to which dishes used for 40 days should not be distributed. It is believed that she is a participant in the farewell ritual and if a person takes her home, he will bring trouble and even death on himself.

Not only a person's life, but also his transition to another world is accompanied by a number of customs and rituals, which are extremely important to observe at funerals and commemorations. The energy of death is very difficult, and neglect of omens and superstitions can lead to unpleasant consequences- a streak of failures, illness, loss of loved ones.

Meet

There are several rules when meeting a funeral procession on the street:

• This event portends happiness in the future. However, today will not bring any changes for the better.
• The procession cannot cross the road - if the deceased died of an illness, you can bring this illness on yourself.
• It is also impossible to walk in front of the coffin - according to the signs, you can get to the next world before the deceased.
• It is undesirable to move towards the funeral procession, it is better to stop and wait. At the same time, men must take off their hats.
• Overtaking a hearse is a bad omen, it promises big trouble or serious illness.
• If the deceased is being carried under the windows of your house, you should not look out the window, it is better to draw the curtains. It is also necessary to wake up the household - it is believed that the deceased can take sleeping people with him. If at this time a small child is eating, water should be placed under his crib.

Before the funeral

Before you bury the deceased on earth, the following rules must be observed:

• For the next 40 days after death, all mirrors and mirror surfaces in the house must be covered with an opaque cloth - otherwise, they can become a trap for the soul of the deceased, and it can never go to another world.
• In the room with the deceased, windows and vents, as well as doors, must be closed.
• There must be a living person in the house with the deceased. By this, they show respect for the deceased, and also make sure that other people do not take his things - such negligence or malicious intent can result in negative consequences.
• If there are animals in the house, especially dogs and cats, it is better to take them to another place during the funeral. It is believed that the howl of a dog can frighten the soul of the deceased, and a cat that jumped into a coffin is a bad sign.
• You cannot sleep in the room where the deceased is lying. If this does happen, the person is offered noodles for breakfast.

So that there is no harm from the deceased, a lighted lamp is placed in his room for the whole night, and spruce branches are placed on the floor and at the threshold. The needles should lie until the funeral, and people leaving the house should step on it, thus throwing death from their feet. After burial, the branches are taken out and burned, avoiding getting under the smoke.

• When buying something for a funeral, you cannot take change (change) - this way you can buy new tears.
• While the body is in the house, they do not clean it up and take out the trash. Sweep the litter in front of the dead - take everyone out of the house.
• The coffin must be made according to the standards of the deceased, so that there is no free space in it. If the coffin is too big, be in the house of another death.
• It is better to wash and dress the deceased until it has cooled down, so that he appears clean before the Creator. Widows must certainly do this. After washing, water must be poured into a deserted place, preferably not under a tree.
• If an unmarried girl dies, she is dressed in a wedding dress - she becomes the bride of God.
• Putting red on the deceased - to the death of a blood relative.
• If the widow of the deceased wants to marry in the future, she should put the deceased husband in the coffin unbelt and unbuttoned.
• Things that the deceased constantly wore during his lifetime (glasses, prostheses, watches) must be put with him in the coffin. There should also be placed the measure with which the body was measured to make the coffin, the comb with which the deceased was combed, and a handkerchief so that he could wipe sweat from his forehead during The last judgment.
• If you put a piece of bread and salt under the table with the deceased, no one in the family will die again this year.
• One of bad signs- if the eyes of the deceased are not closed tightly or suddenly open. It is believed that he is looking out for someone to take with him, and this portends a new death.

Signs during and after the ceremony

• To hammer the lid of the coffin in the house of the deceased - to another death in the family. Also, you cannot leave the lid of the coffin at home when going to the funeral.
• Men should take the coffin out of the house. At the same time, they should not be blood relatives of the deceased, so that he does not pull them with him - blood is drawn to blood.
• During the removal, they try not to hit the door frame with the coffin. The body must be carried with its feet forward - so that the soul knows where it is being directed, but does not remember the way back, and does not return.
• Rye is poured after the deceased - to close the road to death, and no one else in the family died.
• Towels are tied to the hand of those who carry the coffin, which these men then leave for themselves - as a gratitude from the deceased.
• If a person stumbles while taking out the coffin, this is a bad sign for him.
• Things belonging to living people should not lie with the deceased - they acquire mystical power and can drag the owner along with them.

If cremation is to come, icons are not placed in the coffin - they cannot be burned.

• After removing the body, the floors in the house must be swept from the room where the deceased was lying to front door and then discard the broom immediately. In the same direction, you should wash the floors and get rid of the rag.
• The table or bench where the coffin with the body stood must be turned upside down and left so for a day - to avoid the appearance of another coffin with the dead. If it is not possible to turn the furniture over, you need to put an ax on it.
• When a dead person is being carried, you cannot turn back and look out the windows of your own house, so as not to draw death into it.
• Forgetting to close the gate in the courtyard after removing the coffin - to another death. If the doors of the house are closed before the procession returns from the burial, there will soon be a quarrel in the family.
• If a coffin or a deceased has fallen, this is a very bad sign, portending another funeral within 3 months. To avoid this, family members need to bake pancakes, go to the cemetery to three graves with the same name as theirs, and read the prayer "Our Father" from each one. Then distribute pancakes at the church along with alms. The ceremony must be performed in silence.
• The gravediggers, digging a hole, stumbled upon an old grave with preserved bones - the deceased safely enters the afterlife and will lie quietly, without disturbing the living.
• Before lowering the coffin into the grave, a coin should be thrown there - so that the deceased can redeem his place.
• If the coffin does not fit into the pit and it has to be expanded, then the earth does not accept the sinner. Too big a grave - his relative will soon follow the deceased.
• If the grave collapses, another death in the family should be expected. At the same time, a collapse on the south side portends the departure of a man, from the north - a woman, from the east - the eldest in the house, from the west - a child.
• The relatives of the deceased should throw a handful of earth on the lid of the coffin when he sinks into the grave - then the deceased will not appear and frighten the living. As soon as the first handful of earth falls on the coffin, the soul finally leaves the body.

You can put a glass of vodka on the grave - for the peace of the soul. It is also believed that the souls of people turn into birds - they need to be fed by crumbling or leaving a hunk of bread.

• If it turns out that extra supplies were bought for the funeral, they should be taken to the cemetery, and not left in the house.
• Some souls are attached to things and may disturb living relatives. If it was not possible to put an object dear to the deceased into the coffin, it can be left in the cemetery. It is advisable to distribute the clothes of the deceased to the poor.
• The bed on which the person died is best taken out of the house along with bed linen... It is advisable to burn them without getting caught in the smoke.
• After the funeral, the image that stood in front of the deceased must be taken to the river and sent through the water - this is the only way to get rid of the icon without negative consequences. If there is no river nearby, the image must be given to the church, you cannot keep it or throw it away.
• If the death certificate contains a mistake in the name or surname of the deceased - to be another funeral in the family.
• If death overtook the owner of the house, in the coming year it is necessary to plant a brood hen so that the farm does not fall into decay.
• The widow or widower must not wear wedding ring, otherwise you can attract a serious illness.
• If there is a funeral in one of the houses on the street, the wedding is not played on that day.

Rules of behavior

At and after funerals, it is very important to behave correctly:

• You cannot swear, argue and make noise in the cemetery.
• At the funeral, dark-colored clothing (preferably black) should be worn. It is believed that this color does not attract the attention of death.

Pregnant women and small children should not be present in the funeral procession. The birth of a new life and death are diametrically opposite phenomena. In addition, the aura of children is not yet strong enough to cope with the negative effects of death.

• During the ceremony, the deceased must be remembered only with kind words.
• You can't cry a lot at a funeral - the tears of relatives hold the soul of the deceased, it drowns in tears and cannot fly away.
• In the bouquets that are carried to the funeral, there should be a pair of flowers - this is a wish for the deceased to prosper in the afterlife.
• You need to leave the cemetery without looking back, wiping your feet when you leave - so as not to take death with you. Also, nothing should be taken from the cemetery.
• After the funeral, you cannot visit anyone without remembering the deceased, otherwise you can bring death with you.
• After visiting the house with the deceased, a cemetery or meeting a funeral procession, you need to light a wax candle with matches and hold your fingers and palms as close to the flame as possible. Then the fire should be extinguished with your fingers without blowing out. This will help to avoid dragging illness and death onto yourself and your family. You can touch the stove - it symbolizes the element of Fire. It is also good to wash under running water- take a shower or swim in the river.

Weather

• If the weather is clear on the day of the funeral, then the deceased was a kind and bright person.
• The rain at the funeral, especially when the sky is clear before that, is a good sign, which means that nature itself is crying about the departure of a wonderful person. The prayers of the family have been heard, and the soul of the deceased will soon calm down.
• If during a funeral at the cemetery thunder thunders - there will be another death in the next year.

Up to 40 days

For 40 days after death, the soul of the deceased is still on the ground. In order for her to be easily transported to another world, relatives must adhere to certain traditions:

• After the burial, at the commemoration and in the house of the deceased, they put his photo, and next to him - a glass of water and a piece of bread. If water evaporates from the glass, it should be added. The one who eats the food of the deceased will face illness and death. These products should not even be given to animals.

• While the deceased is in the house, you need to put a bowl of water on a window or table, to wash the soul, and also hang out a towel and leave it for 40 days - at this time, the soul flies above the ground, cleanses and wipes itself off.
• Relatives should arrange a commemoration - see off the deceased with a meal. The first time a memorial feast is done immediately after the funeral - at this time the soul leaves the body. They gather for the second time on the ninth day after death - in the period when the soul has enjoyed the beauty of paradise, and she is shown hellish torments. Then - on the fortieth day, when the soul finally leaves the world of the living to take its place in heaven or hell.

There are a number of rules for memorial meals:

• If you borrow furniture from other houses for the commemoration, death can be transferred there.
• Before starting the meal, you need to pray for the deceased - prayers help his soul to endure the ordeals more easily and get into the Kingdom of God.

The table does not have to be with an abundance of dishes, the main thing is to prepare ritual dishes - kutya, memorial pancakes, pies, compote or jelly.

• Pancakes are served first of all at the commemoration. The first pancake and a cup of jelly are always given to the deceased.
• During the funeral feast, one cannot clink glasses, so as not to throw the trouble from one house to another.
• Whoever will sing, laugh and have fun at the commemoration will soon want to howl like a wolf in grief.
• If a person consumes too many strong drinks, his children will become alcoholics.
• The ninth day is called uninvited - a large number of people are not invited to the commemoration, but gather in a close circle of relatives and friends of the deceased.
• On the fortieth day, a set of instruments for the deceased should be placed on the memorial table - on this day his soul finally leaves our world and says goodbye to his family.
• On the fortieth day, ladders are baked from dough, symbolizing the ascension of the soul to heaven, they distribute alms, order a prayer service.
• After the commemoration, food from the table (sweets, cookies, pies) is distributed to relatives and even strangers, so that as many people as possible wish the soul of the deceased to find peace.

Death is grief and pain for the loved ones of the deceased. Natural consolation is the desire to help, to facilitate the deceased's transition to other facets of life. According to the Christian religion, the 40th day is considered the most important of all memorial days, because during this period the soul forever says goodbye to the earth and leaves it. Many organize a commemoration for 40 days after death. What to say on this day and how to behave?

What is the meaning of the memorial ceremony

It is important to know that the essence of the memorial ceremony is to make the transition of the soul of a deceased person to another world painless, to help the soul appear before God, to feel peace and tranquility. And this is achieved through prayers. Everything that will be said about the deceased person on this day: kind words, prayers, good memories and speeches, will help the soul to endure God's judgment. Therefore, it is so important to observe all the traditions associated with this day, and to know how to hold a commemoration 40 days after death.

The main thing on this day is to pray. You can do this yourself, or you can invite a priest.

Christian traditions of commemorating the dead on day 40

The rite of remembrance has been known from the very beginning of the birth of Christianity. The purpose of the ceremony is to give peace and tranquility to the soul of the one who has gone to another world, to help to cognize the eternal heavenly Kingdom.

For this, relatives, friends and relatives of the deceased should gather at the memorial table. When are the commemorations organized for 40 days after death, what to say to those present? It is believed that the more people remember the deceased in their prayers, the better the soul of the one for whom they are praying will be. On this day, it is customary to remember moments from the life of the deceased, focusing on his virtues and good deeds.

Life does not stand still if before the funeral spent in the house of the deceased, now it can be done in a restaurant or cafe. The traditions of Orthodoxy oblige on this day to receive more people than on day 9, because the soul leaves the earth, and not only relatives, but also everyone who wants to do this should say goodbye to a person.

40 days after death, commemoration: what to say in the cemetery?

A visit to the grave of a deceased person is an obligatory part of the funeral ritual. You need to take flowers and a candle with you. It is customary to carry a pair of flowers to the cemetery, even numbers- a symbol of life and death. Laying flowers is the best way to show respect for a deceased person.

Arriving, you should light a candle and pray for the tranquility of the soul, then you can just stand, be silent, remembering good moments from the life of a deceased person.

Noisy conversations and discussions are not arranged at the cemetery; everything should take place in an atmosphere of calm and tranquility.

Commemoration for the fortieth in the church

Church commemoration is the mention of the name of the deceased during the prayer at the Liturgy for the salvation of the soul and the eternal good of the one who is remembered. The ceremony is held after the relatives of the deceased submit a note "On the repose." It is important to know that in this note only the names of those who have been baptized in the Orthodox Church are given.

For the relatives of the deceased the most the best view the donation will be a candle for the deceased. At the moment of installing the candle, you need to pray for the peace of the soul, asking the Lord to forgive the free and involuntary sins of the deceased person.

According to the canons of Orthodoxy, commemoration (40 days after death) is not held earlier than the established date. If, nevertheless, by coincidence, it is necessary to carry out the ceremony in more early date, then in the next weekend after the fortieth weekend, it is imperative to distribute alms. On the same day, hold a church commemoration.

Organization of the memorial table

The purpose of the memorial dinner is to remember the deceased person, to pray for the peace of his soul, to provide psychological support to those in need, to thank people for their participation and help. You cannot arrange a dinner with the aim of impressing guests with expensive and delicious dishes, boasting an abundance of dishes or feeding them to the bone.

The main thing is not food, but unification in grief and support of those who find it difficult. It is important to take into account the main rules of Christianity: restriction in the intake of alcoholic beverages, fasting and the presence of the simplest dishes on the table.

Do not take the funeral service as a feast. Large expenditures in this case are unjustified, it will be much more useful to direct financial investments in the field of charity.

If more than 40 days have passed after death, the commemoration can be arranged later, if only the memorial table is moved. It is necessary to pray for the soul of the deceased on the 40th day.

The main dishes of the memorial table

When setting the table, it is advisable to give preference to lean dishes. There should be a kutia at the head of the table. It is a porridge made from whole grains, with the addition of honey, nuts and raisins. The dish personifies the rebirth of the soul, symbolizes the benefits of eternal life.

The composition of the dishes mainly depends on the traditions of the family hosting the funeral. Traditionally cooked: pancakes, pies, porridge, cabbage soup and jelly. Various appetizers are acceptable: salads, vegetable or cold cuts. Among the first courses: borscht, noodles for chicken broth, beetroot. Garnish - buckwheat porridge, pilaf or mashed potatoes. The Church is against alcoholic beverages, in any case, their use should be limited.

If the commemoration coincided with fasting, then the meat should be exchanged for fish. From salads, vinaigrette is perfect. Let mushrooms, vegetables and fruits be on the table. The main thing at the commemoration is to strengthen the strength in order to continue to tirelessly pray for the deceased.

How to prepare a memorial speech

Not a single commemoration is complete without a memorial speech. Sometimes, especially for this occasion, a host is invited to help arrange the order of speeches. If the presenter is absent, a close relative should take over his role.

When a commemoration is arranged for 40 days after death, the words spoken at the table should be distributed according to a certain order of speakers. First, the speech is made by the closest relatives, then by friends and, last of all, by acquaintances.

Don't rely too much on improvisation. This is a sad event, and people who are in grief will listen to you. Brevity and accuracy are the main criteria for a memorial speech. Try to find time to work out at home so you can figure out where to keep quiet and what to add.

Usually all those closest to the memorial come (40 days after death). The speech delivered at the table should not consist of the biography of the deceased person, because there will be people who already know all the stages of the deceased very well. It is very good to tell about some fact from life, which will serve as proof of the deceased's virtues.

When a memorial service is being prepared for 40 days after death, poems dedicated to the mourning event can be more useful than ever. They will help you tune in to a lyrical and tragic mood, contributing to the creation of an atmosphere of commemoration.

Your speech can be supplemented with a photograph of the deceased or a thing that belonged to him, which will prove to those present what a good person the deceased was. Avoid mentioning the deceased's mistakes, gossip, and secrets. There is no place for such speeches at the memorial table.

Sample speech

Many people think when they organize a commemoration for 40 days after death: "What to say?" ... Installed option there is no such speech. The most important thing is to speak the words from the heart. But still, there are certain rules, using which you can prepare and speak correctly during the memorial ceremony.

You should start by greeting those present, followed by a story about who you are to the deceased. Say a few words about mourning and move on to talking about the good sides of the person being remembered. If possible, remember the good times you shared. It will be very appropriate to involve other people in the memories so that your story is complemented by good memories. The speech ends with a promise to forever remember the one who is remembered.

Still, you can remember a deceased person whenever you want. The main thing is to observe the basic rules of the memorial rite: prayer, alms and good memories of the deceased.

In Orthodoxy, the date 40 days after the death of a person is considered very important, as well as 9 days. According to the established Christian canons, it is on this day that the soul of a deceased person in the next world receives the final decision about where it will now go. But it is believed that if the soul of the deceased cannot change or fix anything, then relatives and friends will be able to help her in this.

Today we will tell you what happens on the 40th day according to the beliefs with the soul and what relatives should do on this day - how to hold a commemoration, what to cook and say and do when the deceased is commemorated.

Date value 40 days after the death of a person

According to Orthodox traditions, the most significant for the relatives of the deceased are dates such as the third, 9th and 40th days after death, and they must spend them in accordance with all memorial canons. At the same time, the 40th day is the most significant, since, as already mentioned at the very beginning, this is the period when the human soul finally moves away from earthly life into eternity.

From a religious point of view, 40 days is a more significant date than even the physical death of a person. Now let's find out what happens to the soul of the deceased before and after the 40-day commemoration.

During our earthly life, the human soul is in union with the body, but at the moment of death the soul leaves it. But the soul takes away from life many habits, passions, deeds and everything else, including both negative and positive. After death, the soul receives either a punishment or a reward, depending on how the life was lived.

After death, the soul undergoes a serious test, since it is obliged to overcome a number of obstacles and to account to God for everything it has done. Remember the following:

• you need to understand that before the 40th day, the soul of the deceased will continue to be in its habitat because she will be in some kind of confusion, because she does not yet know how to live without a physical shell;
• shower slowly for about 3-4 days will begin to get used to a new physical state and will cease to be afraid of him, she will be untied from the body and is able to make so-called walks;
• it is worth knowing that the relatives and friends of the deceased up to 40 days should not order tantrums and suffer bitterly for it because his spirit hears everything and experiences severe torment in connection with this. The best thing that loved ones can do right after death is to read the Holy Scriptures.

Now let's consider what happens to the soul after forty days. After this date, the soul gets the opportunity to return to earth for the last time to visit the most important places for itself. Many people who have lost their relatives often tell stories that it is on this day that they come to them in dreams or visions to finally say goodbye.

In addition, many people who were present before that, that their deceased relatives were somewhere nearby, admitted that after 40 days their presence ceased to be felt, they no longer heard their steps, smells or sighs.

What happens to the soul: it goes to God to appear before his court... But, according to beliefs, it is not God himself who judges her, but a person will be independently responsible for what he has done in life. It is believed that after the soul is in front of the image of the Almighty, it receives two ways - to reunite with his light or to go into the abyss.

This or that decision about the transfer of the soul is made not by willpower, but by how spiritual the person was and what his life was like.

According to church canons, for forty days the soul is waiting for a decision to be made about it. further destiny however, this judgment will not be the last. After all, then she will wait for the next, final Last Judgment. On it, the fates of many people will change dramatically.

Wake 40 days: procedure

Many are often confused about the question how to count 40 days after the death of a person... So, the calendar date of a person's death is taken, and it is she who is considered the first day from the moment of death, even if it came in the evening. Accordingly, the 9 or 40-1 day of death will be considered the ninth and fortieth, taking into account the very day of death.

On the fortieth day after death, the soul again returns to its home and stays there for about a day, and after the end of the commemoration, it leaves forever. Among believers, it is believed that if you do not hold a commemoration on this day according to all the canons, then the soul of the deceased will be tormented forever. That is why it is very important to get this date right.

The order of the commemoration is as follows:

• remember that the first thing to do is pray... One should pray not only during the commemoration, but also on previous days. Thanks to this, you will facilitate the fate of your loved one, thereby persuading the Higher powers to change the decision regarding his soul in better side and show mercy;
• in order to save the soul of the deceased, one must at the same time renounce certain sin of one's own. So, even if you sometimes drink alcohol or smoke, then in order to save your soul, you should give up your addiction for a while. If you do not smoke or drink, then for your own benefit, prayer and to comfort the soul of the deceased, at least give up watching TV or the Internet for a few days;
• very important point is also how exactly the commemoration will be held. All those who gather at the memorial table must be Orthodox Christians. After all, if a person does not believe in God, then his presence will not be a help for the soul of the deceased;
• you cannot take a 40-day commemoration as an excuse to meet with old friends or relatives, because this is not a simple feast;
• Orthodox Church categorically prohibits during the commemoration, have fun, drink alcohol or sing songs. You must be aware of this.

For this commemoration date, it is recommended to prepare and serve the following dishes:

• kutya (required);
• butter pancakes;
• fish sandwiches, such as sprats;
• vegetable-based salads;
• beet salad with garlic;
• vinaigrette with herring or olivier;
• cutlets baked with mushrooms and cheese;
• stuffed pepper;
• fish jelly;
• lean cabbage rolls from vegetables with mushrooms;
• baked fish with vegetables and mayonnaise;
• pies stuffed with fish, cabbage, rice and mushrooms, potatoes or apples.

• bread kvass;
• lemonade;
• sbiten;
• fruit drink;
• raspberry, plum, currant, cherry, apple, oatmeal or cranberry jelly.

Alms for people at 40 days commemoration

According to Orthodox Christian traditions when this date comes after the moment of death of a person, his things must be sorted out and distributed to those who need it and also ask these people to pray for the soul of the deceased.

This ritual is considered good deed, which must be taken into account when deciding where the soul will live after death. So it's best to do just that, especially when there are a lot of things left.

Relatives can leave after the deceased only those things that are of the greatest value as a memory of him. Some of the things can be given to close relatives and friends. Take the rest to the temple, but throwing things away is strictly prohibited.

What to say at a commemoration in 40 days?

Quite often, during the ritual, not only the deceased person is commemorated, but also all the deceased relatives, while the deceased himself is presented as if he is sitting at the table with everyone.

The memorial speech must be spoken while standing, do not forget to honor the memory of the deceased with a minute of silence. You can choose the presenter of the commemoration from among the close friends of the family. He is obliged to control his emotions, despite the emotional severity of the situation. The task of the presenter will be that he will take turns giving the floor to the relatives of the deceased, depending on how close they were to him:

• spouse or spouse;
• children or parents;
• close relatives or family friends.

The presenter is obliged to prepare several phrases in advance to defuse the situation and distract guests when tears begin to flow during the speech.

Remembering for 40 days is very important both for the relatives of the deceased and for calming his soul. And it is very important to do everything correctly in accordance with the established canons and Orthodox traditions.

Silence during the commemoration is normal. You should not try to fill the gap that has arisen with empty words. But sometimes it is still worth paying tribute to the departed. In this case, it is necessary to choose the correct memorial words - those that will not sound too pretentious, but will be able to truly characterize the person and honor the memory of him. Listen to what is being said at the funeral and create your own memorable speech.

Memorial words are not just commonplace expressions characteristic of any holiday. Respect and brevity are expected of you, as well as words spoken from the bottom of your heart. You should not memorize the text at home, but first it is advisable to at least think about your words approximately. Add a little improvisation to get it authentic, but prepare your key messages in a quiet environment. Consider what you want to say.

Ideal words for commemoration should be:

• concise, accurate;
• positive (any even well-known bad quality can be presented from an unexpected side or beat it, but it is better to omit it);
• specific - speak only when you have something to say.

You will be understood if the mourning speech at the commemoration is not narrated in one breath with a set expression. If feelings are overwhelmed, you can cry or allow additional manifestations of emotions. The person passed away quite recently, and you, naturally, are depressed - this is a completely adequate state. It is unfair to demand perfect memorial words from a mother who has lost her child, or from a newly-made widow.

The main purpose of the memorial speech is to revive warm memories of the past. So pick up a special occasion in your life that involves this person. Try to accurately recreate all the emotions that you felt at that moment. This will help you convey personal qualities the deceased.

There are no perfect people. But you can always turn even controversial well-known qualities into positive ones:

• They say about a strict person “He helped me become the best of the best”;
• About the careless one: “He knew the value of life and strove to live it so that he would never regret the boring and gray life”;
• About the greedy one: “I strove to provide a decent old age for myself and my loved ones”;
• About the gullible: “He saw only the best in people, always helped them and never refused anyone - this is what we should all learn from him”;
• About the stubborn one: “I always went only forward, did not bend under the weight of circumstances”;
• About the dreamer: "I wanted to see only the best side of the world, I gave people good and hope that someday all bad things will pass."

Remember that a memorial speech is usually delivered while standing. It’s not scary if the words at the funeral are interrupted by tears or your legs start to tremble. Nobody will judge you for this. The most important thing is to convey to people the importance of the mission of the departed on Earth. Make it so that you are believed, so that everyone understands how close you were. But at the same time, do not "pull the blanket" over yourself. Give everyone the opportunity to speak up - guests have the same right to do so as you do.

1. Add words to your story that the deceased often said.
2. It will not be superfluous to recall a person's favorite book and quote from there a few phrases that, as you think, best describe his character.
3. Choose the most correct and restrained expressions.

You can end the speech at the commemoration (40 days) with an epitaph that reflects the personality of the deceased. Choose the most relevant phrase. If the person was a believer, then you can mention God, but for an atheist this option would be inappropriate. By doing this, you will not only offend the memory of the deceased, but also offend those present - loved ones and relatives who respected the person's choice.

If you have a penchant for writing poetry, then take advantage of them. But there should be a moderate amount of rhyme. If memorial words are pronounced alone with someone close, then poetry is inappropriate. At the table, it is possible to mention a few lines that also fit the description of the character.

But the less rhyme, the better. She often sounds vulgar, which spoils the ceremony. If you so want to impress everyone with your talent, help me come up with an epitaph for the monument. Alternatively, you can successfully weave rhymed lines into the text by making comparisons.

If you want to help the relatives and friends of the deceased in a different way (for example, financially), then do not declare this at the table. First, it sounds vain. Secondly, all sincerity immediately disappears. It will be much more pleasant and important for people if you personally approach them and offer help.

Personally, you can say much more, mention something that cannot be said in front of guests for some reason. In addition, you may not delay with such statements for help until the ceremony itself. Most likely, your help will be needed for the commemoration. Those close to you will warmly appreciate your concern for the past.

Features of the commemoration

The first person to speak is usually the person who was closest to the deceased (husband / wife). Next are parents and children, grandchildren, other relatives, close friends, and acquaintances. If for some reason a person cannot speak, then the next one speaks.

The host of the commemoration should also be close to the departed. This will allow him to be on the same emotional level with other guests, and, if necessary, to support and fill in the pauses.

Examples of memorial words

A memorial speech for an anniversary or 40 days should come from the heart. Only in this way will you worthily honor the memory of the departed. Therefore, below will not be given a specific speech at the commemoration (40 days or a year), which can be learned, but just an example. Take a few evenings to complete and expand on the provided plan. Think carefully: correct speeches funerals are not born instantly.

Try to first draw up a psychological portrait of the deceased on paper. Write down all the character traits that come to your mind, and then supplement them with associations. On the basis of this, you can create theses with unique comparisons that are relevant for such a case, because they will come from a pure heart. But remember that at the commemoration it is better to make a speech, and not read it from the sheet. So you show respect for the deceased, you will look more sincere.

Start with an appeal:

• Dear guests / colleagues!
• Dear relatives, friends and loved ones of [name of the deceased]!
• Dear brothers (sisters) for us / our beloved [name of the deceased]!

A small amount of pathos is acceptable in the beginning. Remember to be humble when introducing yourself. The emphasis is on your relationship with the departed person, and not just on your person:

• I had the honor to serve with [name of the deceased] in one military unit for over 20 years;
• I am the younger brother of [the name of the deceased], who has always been and will be the main example for me;
• I am the wife of [name of the deceased], who will always be a ray of light that illuminates my path;
• [Name of the deceased] was my high school teacher.

Here it is permissible to take a short pause and collect your thoughts. Say goodbye toasts at the commemoration slowly, you don't need to chase somewhere. However, funeral speech should be concise and as short as possible. Don't repeat formulaic phrases. Make you look outside the box. A memorial speech for 40 days is your opportunity to sincerely declare the most important thing that a person was dear to you and how you will remember him forever.

• Today is exactly 1 year since [name of the deceased] is no longer with me. I couldn't think of anything else that evening;
• The worst thing that could happen to me happened that morning. Like snow on your head ...
• As I remember now, it was drizzling rain. The phone rang, and a few minutes later I learned the terrible news;
• I often visited [name of the deceased] in the hospital. I suspected that this was about to happen, but still I was not ready mentally;
• My grandmother was barely able to support me after I found out about [name of the deceased] leaving. I thought for a long time what words to say today, and finally decided.

Don't worry if your toasts at the commemoration sound strange and unusual. Try not to use fixed phrases and expressions. Believe in what you say. Convey your sincere emotions.

• [Name of the deceased] was a famous joker. I still cannot forgive him for that trick during the service ...
• [Name of the deceased] was always eager to help others. “To save a comrade is to save yourself,” said the grandmother;
• You will never meet a more optimistic person than [name of the deceased].

Supplement the story with another flashback, if appropriate, or expand on what you said earlier. If your speech complements those of others, then that's good. You can speak up immediately after your classmates if you think about the teacher - school stories will be in the subject.

You can end your speech with a special prayer (a special epitaph) or simply memorable words that really carry weight for you. Remember to be creative, but be brief enough. Long speech is perceived much worse. In addition, you may get tired or confused in your memories due to surging emotions.

Memorial words for the anniversary of death or 40 days are not just sentences, but theses that support the memory of the past in your heart. Share fond memories with others, create cozy atmosphere and remember only the best qualities that emphasize the importance of the deceased. The examples of words above will help you correctly express your feelings and make a decent speech at a funeral or commemoration.

Funeral speech at the funeral, the text is parting words spoken in memory of the deceased by his family and friends. They are pronounced over the grave of the buried with all their hearts. The speaker talks about important and significant events associated with this person, his achievements, and also speaks about the character and personality of the deceased from the good side. It is advisable if he says it orally, and does not read it from a piece of paper.

Funeral speech

A lot of people are present at the funeral and commemoration. These are mainly relatives and friends of the deceased, but there are others - colleagues, acquaintances, school friends and others. As a rule, the first to pronounce the memorial words is given to the head of the family or the oldest and closest person. In the event that he is in a strong emotional state, then the speech at the commemoration can be made by other attendees.

Mourning speech at a funeral example:

“My grandmother was wonderful person with a difficult but interesting fate. Together with her three younger brothers and sister, her mother raised her alone in the difficult post-war years. To say that they lived in poverty then means to say nothing. She had to endure a lot of difficulties and hardships, but she never lost her optimism and presence of mind, constantly helped her mother and took care of the younger members of the family. And later, having married a military grandfather, she steadfastly endured all the hardships of the service. In any circumstances, she always maintained an exemplary order at home and taught all family members to it. My grandmother was sometimes strict, but fair. I am glad that I managed to learn from her neatness and order, the ability to organize my life. And her famous apple pies were simply incomparable, no one else has succeeded! I will always remember you, my dear, beloved grandmother! Your warmth, love and care will remain with us forever. "

If people around you do not know you well, then at the beginning of your speech you should introduce yourself and explain under what circumstances you met the deceased. The memorial speech should contain words of gratitude towards the deceased, reflect him positive traits... You can mention any significant moment that occurred with the participation of the deceased.

Memorial words for 40 days:

“I will introduce myself for those who do not know me: my name is (name). We have worked with (name of the deceased) for the past few years, and I would like to say a few words in his memory. He was a real professional in his field, a specialist with a capital letter. Many of our colleagues, young and not only, learned the basics of skill from him and often used his advice and help. He was very patient and sympathetic, he could always listen to everyone who turned to him for support, advise something, help out, did not refuse requests to anyone. He could perfectly cheer up anyone who was upset, confused or depressed about something. Told by them countless funny stories, toasts, jokes and anecdotes could amuse anyone. We will all miss him very much at our dinner gatherings and corporate parties, where he invariably shone at the table, raising our fighting spirit. There is no other such person in our team anymore. And maybe it won't be in my memory anymore. We will all miss him greatly. Until the end of my life, he will remain in my memory and in the memory of all our colleagues as an example of perseverance, sparkling cheerfulness, activity and professionalism! Rest in peace, dear colleague! "

It is advisable if you prepare the words at the commemoration in advance and memorize them. Because a well-formulated text will sound good and be perceived by others. And lethargic, boring speech with stutters can be regarded as disrespect for the deceased and his family. If you are afraid that you will forget the words, you can take with you a piece of paper with a sample of mourning speech. Pronounce the words clearly and slowly. You need to speak confidently and so that others can hear you, but not very loudly.

Wake speech examples

Memorial words for the anniversary of death (from a colleague):

"Friends! The deceased worked honestly at the enterprise (name) for more than twenty years. We all knew him as a decent, honest and modest person. Appreciated for skillful hands and reliable in nature. We will miss his many inconspicuous, but irreplaceable contribution to the work! The bright memory of him will remain in our hearts! "

Speech at the commemoration 1 year (from friends):

“Friends, the best of us has gone to another world. We all grieve deeply. Our souls bleed from untimely loss. The deceased was our support. He was the first to come to the rescue, did not wait for requests or complaints. His kind heart and wide soul have always been wide open. He was a clear light and guide in a complex and dangerous world for all of us, his friends! May the soul of this magnificent person rest in peace! We will always remember him with a feeling of light sadness, mixed with a secret longing! "

Memorial speech for 40 days (from relatives):

“Throughout his life, our father was a worthy example not only to his children, but also to those around him. He showed wise understanding in everyday life. true values, kindness and dedication. Any person left him with an enlightened soul. And to us, his children, the father instilled love for people, a high sense of responsibility and devotion to the Motherland. We consider his departure unfairly early. Eternal to him, blessed memory! "

“Our grandfather was very kind and a good man... His path was long and difficult. He perceived all the difficulties that befell the country as his own. He worked and raised children without complaining about the lack of benefits, lack of food or amenities. He raised children, was a support for his grandchildren. We will all miss this wonderful man very much. Blessed memory of him! "

Condolences are expressed not only during the funeral, but also during the commemoration of the deceased. Speech is spoken at commemoration 40 days, a year after the date of death, as well as during Parental Saturdays and other Orthodox holidays. Speeches can be made both at the cemetery and during memorial dinners.

What do they say at the commemoration? At this event, all deceased relatives and friends are remembered. They remember what they were like during their lifetime, what they were fond of, what they loved. Words of condolence are pronounced, the fond memory of the deceased is honored. It is forbidden to say anything bad about the deceased, to recall old grievances. Either good or nothing - says a popular saying.

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Memorial poems

In addition to the mourning speech, condolences can be expressed in verses or toasts. These options are more suitable for commemoration than for the funeral itself. For example, memorial poems are read for the anniversary of death. They can be written with your own hand or taken ready-made. If you do not have the opportunity to personally attend the commemoration, then you can express condolences by posting the memorial poems in the newspaper.

***
Two tears fell into the flowers
Two big pink roses!
From my tortured soul
Hopelessly tears rolled out!
See my wet eyes
What they don't believe at all
That you can never change
That which is measured by pain and tears!
My heart is beating obstinately
And desperately doesn't want to know
That you can no longer see your beloved eyes,
And don't hug your dear again !!!

***
You have always been an example to us
As a person with a pure soul.
And the memory of you is alive
In the hearts and souls of your loved ones.

***
People close to us are leaving.
Do not realize that - forever,
Do not exhaust all the pain of separation
And he hits backhand - never.

We won't see them, we won't hear them,
We won't ask, we won't talk
Although, as before, we breathe them,
We love them, we wait, we adore them.

Ridiculous, strange, impossible
That dawn has come again
Call, scream or cry heart-rendingly,
And there are no more close ones nearby.

***
We cannot understand and comprehend
Do not survive, do not overcome
That the chariot of life goes round,
As it was before, exactly.

The sun is shining and the air is so fresh
What days stand, but very sad.
Gone is the beautiful hope from the hopes
And again, my heart is sad and empty.
For six months now, the apartment is quiet,
Everything is yours and it's hard to believe in it.
I drank the cup of grief to the bottom,
But it still cannot be measured.
I so want to come to you again
Kiss and just be with you.
With the hope of resisting in the struggle,
Argue with illness and disease.
The further, the more immeasurable depth
The abyss that came between us
As you are now, as in childhood, I need you,
But it is impossible to beg with tears.
I'm strong, you know I can
After all, you and I have experienced so much.
I am forever in your debt,
You are an eternal part of my world.
I'll bring you flowers and stand
And the heart will touch with its wound.
And you will feel how much I love you
My beloved, only mother.

***
Memorial verses for 1 year:
You passed away too early
Our pain cannot be expressed in words.
Sleep, dear, you are our pain and wound,
The memory of you is always alive.

***
We come here
To put flowers
It's very difficult, dear,
We can live without you.

***
Great sorrow cannot be measured
Tears cannot help grief.
You are not with us, but forever
You will not die in our hearts.

***
Where do all the dreams go
And why they have no return
How pain we experience
After all, they were happy once.
Like waking up every day
Understand that this is all reality
How painful it is to remember that day
When everything in life has changed.

***
My soul is anxious without you
Girlfriends and friends are not needed.
Why is it possible without millions?
Why is it impossible without one?

***
I don't rock you in the crib
I come back to the cold fence
I will fix the fallen wreath
And I will sing to you, dear son ...

***
They usually leave without saying goodbye,
Without whispering your last words
Perhaps not going on a long journey,
On that long road of dreams and dreams.
Yesterday they smiled at us sweetly,
Their eyes emitted a bright light,
And as always, waiting for us to visit,
We dreamed of giving our friendly advice.
They, like all of us, really wanted to live,
And every moment brought them joy,
We didn't have time to do everything they wanted to do,
They still had so much strength.
At some moment, everything was cut off,
Someone from above has indicated their term for them,
The soul rushed about in confusion,
That she didn’t have time to tell us a few words.
Even if they are not with us, we love them,
And we remember the joyful days
And our heart will never forget them,
As if they were somewhere nearby.

***
We are sad and sad
And there are no other feelings.
Let's remember all the parents
Let's remember all the relatives!

We will remember all those who have gone
In the prime of his years,
Brothers, sisters of the dead,
Friends and strangers!

They once lived
And made us happy
Laughed and loved
They took care of us.

Long ago or recently
They are no longer with us,
And tremulous to the grave
We are bringing a bouquet!

In the fast flowing time
We do not remember other deeds,
But you are dear to us
More than alive!

We ask You, Lord,
About one mercy,
Forgive them their sins, Lord,
Rest their souls!
***
Among lovers - there is agreement
There is only torment among the lonely
Among those deceived by love - revenge
And among the dead - memory and separation

***
Death took you away on a road with no return
And brought him beyond the brink of being.
Here disappeared in the quiet echo of the alarm
The life lived "in Russian" is yours.
And all that was in the heart before was pain and rage,
Dreams, hopes, faith and love -
In the space of space, it suddenly disintegrated invisibly,
But maybe to be reborn in someone again.
And at the grave there are white-trunk birches,
When the moon is silent in the night
Tears-dew drops to the clear dawns of the earth,
That from a mother's eyes did not flow to the bottom.

***
Your watch has stopped. how you didn’t want to leave !!!
But the heart stopped beating, and we cannot return you,
You have experienced a lot in your life,
War and famine, but you survived to spite everyone.
Your clock is ticking in the houses of your friends, everyone loved you! you were always lucky!
Giving life to your family's watches, you poured your breath into them.
You lubricated their hearts and eased the hours of suffering.
But you could not help yourself, and it is useless to lubricate your heart.
He did not win in this struggle, he gave all of himself, gave everything free of charge.
We gave you the warmth of our hearts, and we were always with you,
Our dear grandfather, father-in-law, father and father-in-law,
You were so afraid to be alone, you were so afraid to be with yourself.
But the black hag came to you, swinging a scythe, hit right in the heart.
The clock has stopped, but the soul
Stayed with us, we are always with you, we are together.
February, frost, trees without foliage, and we have not learned to live without you.
You so wanted to be with us, but alas
Your watch has stopped ...

Funeral toasts

It is customary to say funeral toasts at wake at the table. It is not necessary to specify the personality of the deceased in them. You can express general condolences to all the departed:

Grandfather sat in heaven and wept bitterly. A boy came up to him and asked why he was grieving. The old man answered him:
- there is a custom on earth - to drink for the peace of our souls. And then we are always full and with a full jug of wine. We are glad that children remember us. And now I have an empty jug and therefore I am sad.
So let's drink to those who are not with us!

Friends, today is a day of sorrow. There was a time when we were merry and happy with the one who left us. But today you and I are drinking this cup of sorrow ourselves, having spent the last journey of a person close to us. Not everyone in the world was honored with dormition, like the Mother of God and other holy people. But we will preserve in our hearts a good memory of our friend, having the hope for the resurrection and for a new meeting in a new place. Let's drink the wine of sorrow for this!

In a wolf pack, the leader suddenly died without leaving a will. The wolves announced a gangway to elect a new leader. For three days they argued and fought, because everyone was afraid that the new leader would begin to take revenge on those who voted against him. When they were already hoarse from screaming, the wise old wolf got up and said:
“Let's pick someone outside of our pack to be an impartial leader.
Everyone agreed and asked who. Then the wise old wolf suggested choosing a goat as the leader. The wolves began to resent:
- Only the goats were not enough for us yet!
But the wise old wolf explained:
- Although he is a goat, he has one advantage: if he starts to fix chaos, he can always be bullied.
The wolves agreed with a laugh and called the goat. When they brought the goat trembling with fear, he was told:
- Listen carefully! We will choose you as our leader, if you don’t get angry.
The goat got even more frightened and answered:
- I'm a goat. But I renounce my goat past. I swear I'll never be a goat again.
The wolves rustled approvingly and made the goat their leader.
“You are our leader now,” said the wise old wolf. - You can order us whatever you want, and we will obey. Our fate is in your hands.
All the wolves, tails between their legs, nodded affirmatively and asked the goat to make a speech. The goat quickly jumped on the rock, spread his legs wider, fluffed his beard, stuck out his horns, looked around the hushed flock with a slow gaze and bleated severely:
- Well, so which of us is a goat?
So let us remember our glorious leaders!

Also, toasts at the commemoration can be expressed in poetic form:

The bright memory of those who left us,
We will drink to this now.
May it be like granite in our hearts,
The memory of the loved ones of the departed keeps.
May all the good that happened to them
A damp grave will not bury.
How much memory we keep
That is how long he will live with us.

Memorial notes

You can also honor the memory of the deceased with the help of memorial notes. In the churches there is a special table where there is a memorial note, a sample on which you can write it. A cross is placed at the very top of the sheet and marked "of repose." Then they write full names deceased in the genitive case and in the church spelling (for example, Ivan - John), neatly and legibly. Usually about ten to fifteen names are written. Moreover, everyone who is written there must be baptized in the Orthodox Church.

In addition to the names, the note indicates which deceased is: the newly departed - deceased for forty days after death or the ever memorable (worthy of constant remembrance) - the deceased who has a memorable date on this day.

When going to a funeral or memorial service, it is important to remember about etiquette. You need to behave delicately and tactfully. It is worth preparing words of condolences, which can be expressed with the help of a mourning speech, memorial poems or toasts. An appropriate and competent presentation will be appreciated with gratitude by the family and friends of the deceased.

Another important tradition for 40 days is a commemoration. On the 40th day I received everything I was supposed to. Prayer 40 days can be both home and church. Don't take 40 days as an opportunity to get together with friends and family. And one more popular belief It is on the 40th day of commemoration that the soul returns to its home for a whole day, and leaves only after it has been spent.

The most important memorial meal was usually held on the fortieth day of the memorial. Until the 40th day of the commemoration, the deceased is called the newly departed, and on the 40th day themselves, they order a magpie or a memorial service in the church, for which money must be paid. This was done because large Divine Liturgies and memorial services are performed on weekends.

Sometimes this glass of vodka was left until the 40th day of death, and when the vodka decreased, they said that the deceased was drinking it. Also, sometimes they left vodka with a snack on the grave itself. In theory, such "secret" charity obliged neighbors to pray for the deceased, and even those who took this charity took on a part of the sins of the soul of the deceased. Sometimes for the same purpose, at the funeral, relatives were given handkerchiefs, which they had to keep in memory of the deceased and remembering him with a kind word in their minds.

It was also considered a rule not to erect a permanent monument on the grave earlier than a year from the date of death. On this, the commemoration timed to the death often ended, and then mainly traditional commemoration for common parental days and the church holidays equated to them were held. We are doubly happy even negative reviews, they allow us to get better every day and do more for you.

How to Christianly spend 40 days after the death of a loved one?

Good afternoon Svetlana, I sincerely sympathize with you. And soon there will be 40 days. I was told that you need to give someone all the clothes from head to toe, tell me please, you can give all this to a blood person, or you just need a stranger.

That is, at least he should not then make a cult of veneration and remembrance out of these things in his home and then cry all day and remember the departed. It will be very bad from all sides, both for him and for the departed. Whether it is good or bad for you to judge, etc.

According to Orthodox traditions, on the fortieth day, the fate of a person's soul is decided. We will tell you about what needs to be done and how to spend this day in this article. And if the soul itself is no longer able to change and correct anything for the sake of a better fate, then the relatives of the deceased can do this.

The first and most important thing to do, not only on this particular day, but also on all previous ones, is to pray. However, in this case, there may be exceptions. The fact is that even numbers are a symbol of life and death, that is, the beginning and end, while odd numbers denote continuation and movement.

Therefore, all these days try to wear simple, strict and closed clothes without pretentiousness. In the preparation and conduct of the fortieth day, first of all, it is important to think about the deceased and his soul, and the details of the menu, the number of flowers and other similar things are a secondary matter.

Sometimes souls even carefully prepared for such an arrival, made the bed in the evening with a white sheet and covered it with a blanket. And the memorial days, which fell on the first week after Easter (Bright Week) and on Monday of the second Easter week, were postponed to a special day of commemoration of Radonits.

Commemoration on the 3rd and 9th day after death

Often at the table all the deceased ancestors and relatives were recalled at the same time, and the recently deceased himself was presented as incarnate and being together with everyone at a common table. Often the owners even bowed and turned to the free place for the deceased with the words "Eat, darling."

Therefore, especially if the deceased did not drink alcohol, and did not eat black bread, performing this ritual in this form is simply strange and not even entirely adequate. Sometimes the guests were given a commemoration wooden spoons, and when later people ate with these spoons, while eating, they involuntarily remembered the person in whose honor the commemoration was held. Sometimes all the clocks in the house stopped for mourning and the mirrors were curtained.

40 days from the date of death is a very important and responsible date, because it is on this day, according to Orthodox canons, that the soul of the deceased is given a verdict regarding its further whereabouts.