Not as the best. Change for the better: externally and internally
Each person comes as it seems necessary. We have our own inner beliefs that we express with the help of actions. We show them out, because otherwise we can not. What leads to poverty, excess weight, disorder, loss of friends, hides deep inside a person.
Remember how many promises you were given for life. They said, for example, that you will not be sad, raise your voice to people, smoking, drinking, there is oily food after six evenings. But already in eleven nights, you are sitting in the kitchen and eat the cake, despite your promise.
Due to the fact that we have no idea how to change internally, we begin to be easily mistaken and complicate the situation. We are angry with yourself for the lack of will and constantly blame themselves for mistakes and failures. Stop blame yourself and tell me: "Now I am free. I have a goal to become a self-sufficient person who succeeds in everything that only wish. I deserve to be happy, and take it as a gift."
Many of us think that they are absolutely helpless in this life and lose interest in everything, seeing around themselves only loneliness and hopelessness. Such hopelessness arises from many disappointments, pain and resentment, leads to the reluctance to live full life. Stop! Ask yourself what is the reason for such a disappointment that you are so angry. The more maliciousness you pour into this world, the even more angry. Think, because you were angry, perhaps even at the moment of reading the previous paragraph. You must understand how to change for the better. And we will help you.
Start of change
Decide for yourself what you want to turn your life into another bed. Do not doubt, each person has enough strength to understand for himself how to change and externally and internally. It is necessary to change its worldview, the course of thoughts, defeat stubbornness and then the changes will come.
Exercises
You still do not know how to change, but within you already have this desire. Tell yourself what you want to become better, and more than once, repeat it at every opportunity. Believe in change, and they will definitely happen. What it seems to you is impossible to change in you, you need to change first. Repeating the phrase: "I want to become different," you connect to help the power of the universe.
Take a look in the mirror when you say ourselves "I want to become another", listen to my feelings. If you feel the contradiction, do not despair and do not blame yourself, because it is very difficult to quickly change. Try to figure out what kind of thought makes you doubt. Dissolve it. Then, come back to the mirror and say something pleasant about yourself. Such visual contact with himself must help.
How to change and start new life? Change your beliefs, your thoughts. If negative thought does not leave, catch yourself on it and drive once and for all. This is possible, we can control every thought.
Principles of work on themselves:
- Control over mind.
- Desire to change yourself.
- Forgiveness of all offend.
After the solution to start changes, you need to learn to control your mind. You can use it as you want, it is your instrument, submitting to your desire. And not vice versa. Think about it. To gain harmony, control the thoughts, words that pronounce, since it is they who possess an incredible force and create all the situations of your life. But, in fact, this is the owner of your mind.
Leave the past in the past
For many years, I have been working as a psychologist for many years and more than once heard from my patients, which be happy in the real thing prevents the sad past, where they were offended, injured, injured in the heart. Now they have lost all the values \u200b\u200band meaning of life, they cannot forget the events from the past, can not love, can not forgive. And if forgot and forgive, their life would again show their charms.
To all events from the past, treat as memories without an emotional assessment. Sorry to all who ever caused you harm and you will find answers to need questions. The most important thing is love. Only true love Can change us in the root. Love for others, love for the world. But without forgiveness, she does not come.
Exercise to fight offended
Being in silence, imagine a small scene of a steadmate theater, which is worthwhile for you. It doesn't matter, he is alive or not, you need to defeat your hatred. Mentally imagine that good things happen to him, he is really happy. Remember its image such. Then become on the scene. You also smile, because in the world enough good for everyone. This simple exercise will dissolve your resentment if you learn to perform it correctly. Work on yourself, know yourself as you fine, and the world will change with you for the better, giving you the opportunity to gain true happiness.
The world is changing, and people are also prone to change. Someone has enough to change the curtains in the living room, and someone decides to change their character, habits and behavior. People throughout their lives can change, but every time something will not arrange them. Permanent desire to be better entails.
What causes change?
Motivation to change itself and their lives can be different. The most frequent and strong is fear. We are afraid of losing the family, work, friends, and it pushes us to revise the vital position, values, habits.
If a person is all arranged in life, or he simply accepts the situation, he will not change. But if there is hope to save something or make life better, you need to safely go to the goal.
Why is people hard to change?
A frequent reason for the rejection of changes in itself is the reluctance to recognize the real cause of its problems. People tend to blame anyone in their failures, but only not themselves. Therefore, they will not be able to change until they learn to evaluate their actions by looking from the part.
There are several main factors that prevent the girl to change for the better:
- surrent people and their attitude.
Many of us are very difficult to cope with the tests that send us life, overcome ourselves or go to the opinion of loved ones. You need to believe in yourself, and start changing. Only so you will prove to yourself and the world that you are capable of greater.
How to change for the better?
It will take a lot of dead work on yourself before will be achieved. desired result. First of all, it should be understood that it does not specifically suit you in yourself. All qualities that interfere with living should be eliminated by the first thing. But this, of course, is not instantly, but gradually. In parallel with this positive features Need to develop.
Internal changes. Method "Violet Bracelet"
There are many techniques to help a person change their lives for the better. 
One of effective waysWho suggested the priest Will Bowen is to start and thus change for the better. He advised the participants of the experiment to take a simple purple bracelet and wear it for three weeks on 1 hand, excluding complaints from his life, irritation and gossip. If a person during this period of time allowed himself to think negatively and express, he disguises the bracelet on another hand and the countdown begins again. It lasts until within 21 days the bracelet will remain on one hand. The experiment conducted by this method showed that its participants changed significantly, they began to think positively. Moreover, this method Helps to develop self-control. You can safely use it, and yourself notice its effectiveness.
External changes
For each girl is very important appearance. If you have already started working on your inner world, It is necessary in parallel. Internal changes for the better are always reflected in the appearance. Stop spending their own vital energy On negative emotions, you will feel better, and therefore looks, respectively. When a person does not feel stress, he disappears from harmful habits, which means the figure, face color, hair condition and nails improves.
A positive look at the world entails the appearance of confidence. Beautiful posture, confident gait, shining eyes. You will like others and yourself.
You can change the image, add more bright and bright shades to your wardrobe. Change hairstyles also necessarily raise you mood. Visit the beauty salon, go to cultural events. You can find a new passion, make new acquaintances, search for sources of good mood in everyday routine.
So that the world around becomes better, you need to love it. But it is impossible if you do not learn to love yourself. Make yourself as you want to be, and everyone around will admire you.
Character is the reflection of our internal life. Many think about such a question: how to change the character for the better? Bad behavior is able to overshadow life. Often, people repel indifference, stubbornness, cruelty, rudeness, reluctance to go towards. For example, the intention to live only for himself forms egoistic aspirations. Such a person will never take into account and take into account the needs of others. The Egocent Personality is entirely focused on the satisfaction of their everyday desires. for the better? This article will tell about it.
Analysis of its own behavior
We all know when we do wrong. In this case, the person appears for remorse. Good character - This is the result of personal work on yourself, the adoption of its individuality and eradicating detrimental habits. Just nothing changes, even more so. It is quite simple to dissolve yourself: it is only a few times to wave with your hand on some manifestations of egoism, as it immediately enters the habit.
Analysis of their own behavior will help to understand, in what cases you were previously mistaken when it was not quite beautiful. In order for the actions to be visible, use the written comparison method. We write out the situations on paper in which they were wrong, and reflect on each point separately. It is important not to conceal anything, not hide from yourself. Otherwise, you will not be able to fully realize your own mistakes, which means you will miss the ability to correct them. Unworthy behavior necessarily needs correction. A view from the side will help you to realize what you really need to strive.
Charge positive
Did you ever think about why in the world a little really happy people? The thing is that we often do not know how to rejoice. Smile more often, give positive to relatives, colleagues! Manifestation best qualities Character begins with the ability to see beauty in everything that surrounds us. Notice how beautiful the dawn can be as unique communication with loved ones and expensive people.
If you learn to receive daily required charge Positive, you will feel cheerful all day. Have an optimistic look at the world very important if you want to succeed. As a rule, happiness accompanies those who can appreciate it. Smile more often, show care of loved ones, appreciate all the good things in life. A reason for joy can always be found, there would be a desire.
Education of honesty
People who do not know how to be sincere, can never become completely happy. It would seem that the character is associated with internal satisfaction? Everything is simple: manifestations of certain features affect the feelings of others. Accordingly, they inside themselves conclude, whether they are pleased to interact with us, whether they want to continue communication in the future. Sometimes we do not notice that someone can offend someone, it hurts.
How to change the character for the better? Start raising honesty in yourself. Sincere attitude will help change the character, remove the self-defense response. You will notice that communication with people will bring more joy and domestic satisfaction. Show yourself from the position of sincerity. Keep this promise, do not let your mood and break down on trifles.
Meditation
Why is the internal comfort so important to maintain emotional equilibrium? All these components directly affect the character of a person. Specialists in the field of psychological science proved that manifestations of intolerance, crosses, aggressiveness are always associated with some serious internal problem. Most often make themselves knowing children's resentment, karmic flaws. Education in itself is advisable to start with exemption from oppressive experiences and destructive habits. To change the character, not enough to quit smoking or express discontent infinitely.
Meditation gives a person a sense of internal security. One who constantly practices various spiritual practices, eventually begins to feel confident and self-sufficient. The character changes independently. A person consciously brings up such features as tolerance, responsibility, an optimistic look at the world as a whole. If you are practicing meditation, it will very soon notice that they began to lead healthy image Life. Harmful habits will gradually go, without leaving any trace.
Disclosure of talents
Each person has unique inconsistencies to anything. Only often we forget about them, do not strive to develop existing abilities. This is a great omission, a colossal error that needs to be triggered as soon as possible. The disclosure of talents contributes to the correction of character. How? The fact is that a person who has found his place in life necessarily becomes happy. It ceases to complain about gray everyday life, does not seek to conflict with others, does not spread gossip behind his back. Negative manifestations of life are simply not interested. A happy man is engaged in inspiring thoughts, he has a need to share his joy with others.
Think what kind of activity is particularly close to you? If you still haven't found yourself, maybe it's time to devote to this issue precious days, hours and minutes?
Giving help
There are many people in the world who may need your active participation. First of all, it is worth paying attention to your loved ones. Make good actions, do not skimp on the manifestation of human heat and genuine participation. I will not lose you, and people will become really nice. Remember that everyone wants to feel necessary.
Assistance is very much affecting the character, brings some sensitivity in man. Such a person will not pass by the needy old man or child, no offend animal. Who somehow helps people, notes that thinking is completely changing: you begin to think less about yourself, more focus on the needs of others. W. good man Always find sweet Nothing. Just think about how many people really need attention and consolation.
Control of action
Of course, it is impossible to change the character instantly. It will take a lot of time before you can say to yourself that you got rid of bad habits and all sorts of irritation. Try to control your actions in the future in order to prevent evaluation, envy, frustration and unfair attitude towards others. Remember, the more heat and joy you give others, the better everyone. However, no gratitude can not be expected in return, do not require immediate return, just be generous, generous. Allow yourself to rejoice in the achievements of others, eradicate all sorts of egoism!
Instead of imprisonment
Thus, work on character is the direct responsibility of each of us. From person you need to take responsibility for what is happening. Become open and sincere in manifestations of care and love, then you will not have to think about how to change the character for the better.
Prepare for difficulties. Any change causes breaking. Our, always conservatively, so it is hard to break your foundations. You need to be patient and show will for each action. It is necessary to configure yourself to go through this path to the end, otherwise all the efforts will be in vain.
The next step should be determined that bad in your own actions and thoughts. In this situation, it is hard to navigate only on yourself. A subjective opinion about himself can ruin the whole thing at the very beginning. Therefore, we appeal to friends and relatives. You can make a notebook where to record all the arguments of friends. When listening to the opinion of other people, try not to put them with criticism. Ask the Council, how to improve your. But use the Council only as a council, and not a rigid indication.
After that, we look at the list and learn to change. We begin the classical literature. It is very brightly shown and the good side human personality, analyze the events and behavior of the heroes. Take something for myself. You can also watch movies, but the books give a greater effect. Correct the vices that prevent you from changing. For example, if you are "Grubian", you should pay attention to the methods of your communication with. Find out for yourself your incontinence and foul language (rudeness). Try to avoid it. Take care of various soothing techniques, such as autotraining. Read psychological literature and see the appropriate films.
Start a diary. Record all events and most importantly emotions. Drive a detailed report to each day, and try to analyze. After such an analysis, you can determine what you did wrong, and think how to avoid this in the future.
Video on the topic
Often, people wonder - how to quickly change for the better. Most want to do it without applying special efforts, Looking for universal recipes. But in the search process comes an understanding that everything is not so simple. There is a long and stubborn work on yourself.
Instruction
First, determine what exactly you want to change. What features you are inherent and that does not suit. Why it was now the need for change. Change yourself completely unlikely to succeed. Find one character line or habit that prevents achieving any goals affects your emotions and actions. To get rid of yourself from problems, it is very important to see where they start.
After you managed to change something significant, think over your future goals. Determine the most important thing in life, think over to achieve the desired and start acting. To do this, make a plan of short-term and long goals. Only the presence of a clear plan will help you move forward. Get a diary of achievements, make a note in it as the goals are realized. Ahead - the desired changes in life, it remains only to follow the plan and not turn the path from the intended path.
Into one great moment I realized my life that something in me is missing: it seems to live, but something is wrong and not so. I looked at myself from the side and in the mirror, my own alone, one strong training, read a couple of educational books. I made disappointing conclusions that we have a bouquet harmful habits, I almost do not pay time to my health, I do not use the popularity of the girls, the level of my inorganization is rapidly, and in addition, I often go from solving complex vital problems.
No matter how many days in your life, it is important how much life in your days!
Sport
Everything begins with and its introduction in their lives. We start with basic exercises, but you need to perform them every day. it simple exercises: squats, on the press (climb), push ups. It all starts with a repetition of 5 times and every day increases by 1 time, you can perform two days per day. A month later, you will squat 35 times, do exercises on the press 35 times and pushed 35 times. Then you can increase the number of repetitions if necessary, but it is necessary to do every day.
Every person needs to find his sport, and you should not go on the fashion: everyone runs, it means to run, everyone is engaged in yoga, it means that yoga. Look for your sport, which will fully suit you: loads, interest, time, financial component, people. He must be a continuation of your essence.
I tried in a year, gym, Boxing, Running, Jiu-Jitsu, Aikido, Cycling. At the same time engaged in several species for several months. It was a great time, since for my health it was unconditional benefit, and I also understood what I would like to go from sports.
My choice fell on Jiu-jitsu and swimming is the basis of my sports development. Now it is already for life, as the pleasure that I get in classes is difficult to express in words, and my successes on this field just support this belief.
Books
We'll have to read a lot. An excellent result is 40-50 books per year. I read 42 books and understand that 50 books per year is real. The main thing is to read without stopping. And, of course, do not watch the TV and do not get on social networks.
Read only for the development of your mind: Psychology, Russian and foreign classics, self-development, finance - no bulbs or entertainment books.
Outline the essence of read, which in the book I was impressed or did not like it, remember the quotes. So you train the memory and can always surprise your interlocutors with smart sayings from books.
The book Ain Rand "Atlant straightened his shoulders" was very influenced by me, as well as situations similar to the events from my life.
My moral, moral mind, is contained in one axiom: reality exists in one choice - to live. Everything else sits from here. To live, a person should consider three things with the highest and decisive values: Mind, goal, self-esteem. The mind as the only instrument of knowledge, the goal as a choice of happiness, whom this tool should reach, self-esteem as inheld confidence that he is able to think and his personality is worthy of happiness, which means worthy of life. These three values \u200b\u200brequire all virtues of a person, and all his virtues are associated with the attitude of existence and consciousness: reasonableness, independence, cleanliness, honesty, justice, efficiency, pride.
AYN RAND, "Atlant straightened his shoulders"
Discipline
What distinguishes a strong personality from an ordinary person is. Regardless of its mood, motivation, external circumstances, related relationships to perform what is needed in this moment time.
Learning to swim against the flow of life circumstances, to raise yourself so that interior did not depend on what is happening around. It was very hard and not immediately everything turned out, since there were breakdowns. But I again and again went forward with the support of loved ones and the inner desire to go through this path as far as anyway.
What can you start? From the morning ritual. Here is the easiest and effective method To catch off the discipline: on the alarm call, get up immediately, wash up, turn on the music, do a charge with power exercises, then a contrasting shower, a healthy breakfast (without fried and sweet) and reading a book (you can on the way to the office).
So you need to do until it turns out to perform it on automation and without coercion. It took me 3 months, sometimes, of course, there were failures, especially after overloaded days. I recommend everyone who wants to change your lifestyle, develop your morning ritual.
You need to learn to control yourself: your speech, gait, look and gesticulation. Wherever you are, at home, at work, in the gym, you must emit confidence and act without much fuss. Remember about the principle of feedback: even if you do not feel like that, this feeling of confidence and discipline will come.
Highly useful exercise for development internal force - Despite all its natural fears, do not take a look from the interlocutor, from passing people who look into your eyes. I do not hide, I was helped by martial arts in this. But also look good and a warm look, showing that you are configured friendly.
To raise yourself, I learned how to deny myself in pleasure: bars, alcohol, sweet, cigarettes, impulsive shopping, idleness, empty conversations at work. It may not work immediately, but you have to think about it all the time, to work in this direction. And once I said to myself: "Yes, I do not drink alcohol for three months and do not eat sweet two months."
I visited sports activities or courses despite the mood, circumstances, weather and my motivation. I made a schedule and fulfilled it, threw off all my favorite excuses. I liked to come to the hall when others stopped something and when like-minded people were ready to support me in these endeavors.
And most importantly - you need to learn to control yourself when little happens, and the mess around is going around. Be an island of calm and cold exposure.
Finance
Start the Financial Journal. Drive it month, the second, the third and not stop. And not just lead it, but analyze every month, what and where it goes, why and how to fix it.
I had big cars for coffee - 1,300 rubles per month. I realized that it was time to reduce its quantity, and now the level of spending on coffee is 600 rubles per month. Coffee is my weakness from which I do not want to get rid of.
Many say that the magazine is a useless thing: "I already know how much I spend and earn." And you try to lead it 1 year with accurate analysis and charts and see the whole picture of your financial literacy or illiteracy.
Keep yourself in financial asceticism, stop buying what is not needed or imposed on advertising and acquaintances. Most of our purchases are useless and will not be useful in life, and you can easily do without them.
Find an extra income, let it be small, but it will melt you on even more achievements. Let it be an increased load at work, additional work (any format), freelance, sale of unnecessary things, training other people. Most error - everyone wants a lot of money in the initial stages, and it does not happen. You do not immediately earn a lot at work, and everything is gradually in life.
Relations
This item more refers to men who did not find their half or do not even want it, which I was. If you are one and you have a lot of time, develop the skill of dating girls. Sign up on dating sites, Meet the cafe and on the street, communicate in the gym, ask friends about familiar girls.
Try different strategies Communication: Gentleman, Macho, Brown, sports guy. Meet girls smarter than you, admit it, conquer them.
In various situations, it will not all be obtained: not the words, not the method, not your person, failure in bed. But you do not stop, you should handle it.
And over time, you will learn to understand the opposite sex, learn how to easily start the conversation, make beautiful compliments. Girls will often reciprocate, feel in you an interesting person. But do not be self-confident, look for the one that will appreciate your qualities "without bills", and be devoted and faithful to it.
If you just love, suffer, conquer, dispel and start a new way. Become with whom it wants to spend time, with whom will be comfortable in any situations, you will die to understand and listen to another person. And remember that your second half can always get away from you, so enjoy every moment together.
Skills
Start developing the skills that you have not possessed before: for example, brewing brewing, improving, context planning, contraloan driving. Send them, find the mentor on the topic, pass the training. Such achievements are developing personality, make it multifaceted.
Also you learn to intentionally leave your comfort zone and overcome the fear that will later become your driving force. All great achievements begin with little victories over themselves.
Over the past 12 months, I have been engaged in what has never been engaged in: heavy strength exercises, meditation, training with children, training, asceticism.
Spirituality
Determine your values \u200b\u200bin life, create yourself internal and social rules, find your "I".
Finally, find the answer to the eternal question: "Why am I here? What is my mission? "
How? Ask yourself important questions, do not look at other people who drift like a boat in the ocean, become a guideline both for yourself and for others. Read spiritual books, attend spiritual places and finally create your picture of the world order. It is very important, so you will become unshakable and you will have your own faith. Not the one, which is shown in the media, namely their inner.
Most people are afraid to ask themselves sophisticated questions And closed with materialism, like me at one time, but this is a dead-end branch of development. Do not close things and household fuss, they will not give you that happiness that you will feel when you find something important inside, which will lead you further.
Useful habits
As you will get rid of bad habits and structurally change, you will need other habits - and it is better that they are helpful.
For example, if you say a lot, learn to be silent and listen to the interlocutor, even when you already have a language, silent.
If you eat a lot of sweet, replace it on nuts or dried fruits, do not eat so many chocolate and cookies, drinking sweet tea.
From TV and Internet dependences, books are perfectly saved. Just the brain will no longer want to "languish".
If you have nothing planned and everything happens just like this, get a notebook, write all your tasks for the day, week, month. Record the thoughts that come to you, fresh ideas, Describe events and people. We account for and analyze your life.
If you smoke, throw and immediately impact the sport, it is desirable in such where the most workers are easy to drive out all the resins.
Algorithm of structural change of itself for 12 months
- Sports load every day. On the for a long time Decide with its sport, do, despite everything, for a whole year.
- Read a lot of books, 3-4 pieces per month. Record the resume read.
- Develop discipline. Cancel yourself in pleasure. Keep calm when there is a "storm". Try every month to refuse yourself in something.
- Develop financial literacy. Drive Financial Journal and find additional income during the year.
- If you are alone - look for your half and develop the seduction skill. If you are no longer alone, fall in love again to your chosen.
- Collect new skills that did not have owned before. Preferably - 1 skill for 2 months.
- Find the answer for which you are here, even approximate - will already be fine. Spend on this so much time as you think fit.
- Purchase good habits instead of bad. This is everyday work.
The victory is over yourself - this is true success in life.
It is difficult to change, but perhaps. The main thing is to want to put an interesting (and not very) goal and achieve them, no matter what. Immediately it will not be possible, there will be drying, breakdown, but the motion vector needs to be saved, and you will definitely break the barrier of your weakness.
If you think that this is needed motivation or money, you are mistaken: only one pure desire to become better than you are, and the time that is so little in our lives. But remember, there is no limit to perfection, it is a constant work on yourself, and it continues until the end of your days. A developed personality lives much happier than those who are weak in front of themselves and retreats before life circumstances.
