How to raise a boy as a real man: recommendations, parenting psychology and effective advice. How to raise a man out of a boy

Every mother does everything to make her child grow up healthy and happy, and if there is a son in the family, she tries to raise him strong and courageous. However, sometimes these efforts lead to the exact opposite result - the boy grows insecure, withdrawn, he does not develop relationships with friends, he succumbs to difficulties. How to avoid mistakes in raising sons? Psychologist Olga Voronova and teacher Vita Viktorova answer the most common questions of parents.

1. Few parents want their son to join the army. At the same time, it is believed that it is in the army that a boy becomes a real man, since service tempers character. How to be?

If a child has a constant desire to assert himself, insist on his own and give back, it means that deep down he feels vulnerable and defends himself in this way. The reasons for this vulnerability must first be understood.

The army teaches discipline, organization, the ability to cope with difficulties. On the other hand, the outrages that are happening in our army pose a threat to health young man. And hardly anyone will condemn you if you find other ways to teach your son self-discipline and patriotism. Playing sports will help him feel strong, the absence of increased parental care will make him independent, and patriotism is instilled primarily in the family. But if it so happens that your boy is being drafted into the army, set him up for the fact that for two years he will live according to completely different laws and it is better to adapt to these laws than to protest against them. Explain to him that hazing (with which the army authorities do not particularly fight) is present not only in Russia, but also in other much more civilized countries and is aimed at “knocking out” individuality from a soldier, because the basis of the army is unquestioning obedience to orders. Young men with a highly developed "I" suffer more than others. So that these 2 years do not turn into a nightmare, the child must have good physical fitness, be quite sociable and loyal to those around him.

2. What should I do if the boy behaves aggressively - fights, offends other children?

Aggression is inherent in both girls and boys, but boys can show it more openly - this has been considered normal and encouraged from time immemorial, while softness and compliance were considered a disadvantage. Boys aggressively defend their place in the team, fight for leadership. But too high level aggression may indicate self-doubt. The attitude "the whole world is against me" indicates a lack of a sense of security, and this feeling is formed in the family. If the parents (mother in the first place) treat their son with love, do not push the baby away when he is scared, do not shout at him, do not suppress him, then the son has a sense of security. Otherwise, anxiety, fear of the world arise. And then, depending on individual characteristics the child can fight this hostile world or hide from it, curry favor with it. Sometimes increased aggression is the result of an excess of energy, which is suppressed by various norms and etiquette. "Don't run, don't make noise, sit still!" - as a result, the child goes out into the street and fights with the first person who looked askance at him. If your son is growing up to be a big bully, you need to act on two fronts at once. The first is to give an outlet for energy, that is, enroll your son in the sports section. Then aggression will be directed in a normal direction and will benefit the child - he will become more confident in himself, he will feel strength. The second direction is psychological. It is necessary to respect and love the child so that he experiences peace and spiritual comfort, then he will not need to monitor the environment in order to stop any hostile attacks. In a word, if the parents are understanding and benevolent, if harmony and mutual respect reign in the family, the world seems friendly to the child and he does not fight with it.

3. How to recognize a son's inclination to homosexuality and how to deal with it?

There is still debate whether the tendency to homosexuality is congenital or acquired. This tendency can be expressed in the fact that the boy's role-like behavior is disturbed - he does not want to actively assert himself in the team, shows sensitivity, feels more comfortable in the company of girls, enjoys playing their typical games - puts toys to bed, feeds them, sews clothes for them, but categorically refuses machines, etc. By nature, such boys are more affectionate, vulnerable and sensitive than their peers. They do not like to fight, they give in to obvious aggression, but at the same time they like to be in the spotlight. Children are also prone to homosexuality, in which there is a lot of narcissism, that is, narcissism. However, there is reason for concern only if all these oddities appear in combination. In addition, it must be remembered that a child has a clear understanding of his gender by the age of 4-5, and before this age, children only compare themselves with their peers and adults, trying to find similarities and differences. At the same time, kids show great curiosity, which sometimes alarms and frightens adults. However, there is usually no reason to worry. If obvious violations persist even at 8-9 years old, you can already seek advice from a specialist who will determine if there is a problem and how to deal with it. The following factors influence the violation of sexual orientation in boys: dislike on the part of the father or his absence in the life of the child (the unfulfilled need for this love will remain, and the boy will seek it from other adult men), the desire of parents to have a girl and the unconscious imposition of a female model of behavior on the son , abuse by the mother (in this case, the boy perceives women as a potential source of humiliation and avoids them).

If you understand that your son has a gay orientation, or notice a tendency to it, do not yell at him, do not punish, but understand the reasons (maybe you need to change your own behavior) and delicately correct your son's behavior. But in any case, remember that this is your child and you should not reject him under any circumstances.

The most common mistakes that parents make when raising a son.

Too harsh attitude for the sake of cultivating masculinity. Boys, just like girls, need love, affection, care, attention.
The desire to raise a child in his own image and likeness, ignoring individual characteristics.
Quarrels between parents in front of their son.
Making too high demands on the child ("You're a boy!"), Which he cannot meet.
Indulging any whim, pampering (especially if the boy is youngest child in family).
Lack of consistency in upbringing (for the same behavior or act, they are either punished or praised).
Inconsistency in education between parents - one allows, the other prohibits.
Comparison with other children and giving them as an example, criticism.
The constant imposition of negative attitudes (“Do not run fast, otherwise you will fall”, “If you study poorly, you will become a janitor”).
Education in the sciences to the detriment of physical education (the boy must be physically strong and hardy).
Lack of personal positive example.

4. The son sits at the computer all day. How to wean him from this?

Dependence on the computer appears in those children who are generally prone to addiction. Someone becomes addicted to drugs, someone - to alcohol, others - to the Internet. It is important to understand that all of the above is a departure from real life into a fictional world. And the victims of these addictions, as a rule, are children who do not feel the love of their parents. This does not mean that their parents do not care about them. But this concern is not expressed in what the child needs. Buying things, paying for education are not connected in the understanding of children with love. To love means to pay attention, respect, listen to problems. If your son does not receive any of this, he has a feeling of his own uselessness, loneliness, and loss. Hence the desire to go into a world "where everything is easy."

5. How should a father behave in order to raise a normal son?

The behavior of the father is of great importance in, because by his example he shows how a man should behave in certain situations. If the father is the head of the family, the son will be guided by this model and, most likely, will want to play a leadership role in the family that he himself will create. But if at the same time the father is rude and tyrannizes loved ones, the child will feel a lack of love, which can undermine his self-confidence - he will feel weak and vulnerable among the same sex. A too soft dad with an overbearing mother can form a character in which the boy will subconsciously be afraid of women, become henpecked, or he will develop Don Juan syndrome. First of all, the ideal dad should be loving, but at the same time disciplined. Dad should keep his word and go to the zoo if he promised. In general, the principle here is simple - demonstrate everything that you want to instill in your son by your own example and involve the child in this process. And remember the principle of the golden mean - too harsh upbringing (the child perceives this as tyranny) or the provision of complete freedom of action (the son will consider that you are indifferent) are undesirable. As for the feeling of male usefulness, so that the boy does not have complexes, the father must be a respectful, loving and beloved husband, since harmonious relations between parents are the key to a happy life. family life son.

07/04/2016 20:30:28, Lekha

Pay more attention to your child! Less sitting at the computer.

Yeah, i.e. first, parents from homophobia must fight such manifestations "This tendency can be expressed in the fact that the boy's role-like behavior is violated - he does not want to actively assert himself in the team, shows sensitivity, feels more comfortable in the company of girls, plays with their pleasure typical games - putting toys to bed, feeding them, sewing clothes for them, but categorically refuses cars, etc." And then their wives will howl because the husband is aggressive, does nothing around the house, does not help with the child and is generally busy with an exceptional career ...

07/17/2006 08:07:21, Kseni's mother

the article is very good, especially for those who really want to raise a real man. Thanks for the advice.

05/27/2006 11:26:13 PM, Natalie

previous author.
Of course, you are absolutely right that since the parents are imperfect, the child will be even more imperfect (or rather, twice as bad as the parents). And I am already convinced from my own experience that if a father has omissions in culture and upbringing, then this is instantly caught by a still young son, and reproduced in behavior, only aggravated even more.
And it’s better without a dad at all than with a tyrant and a despot.

03/31/2006 09:07:09, Asya

The article contains a lot of "common" truths, "bookish" advice. And how, for example, to raise a son by his own example to a father who himself is not without complexes, problems and omissions in education ?! Where did you see parents who met all the criteria? I myself was brought up with a strong bias in an incomplete family, my husband is the only and very late child, with all the consequences ... We cannot change in a minute, just because it is written so! What will our child grow up “not right”, and what is the norm, and what is the deviation? Isn't it subjective?

03/30/2006 12:42:53 PM, Mom

The article is interesting and informative. Thanks!

I didn’t like it (:, general phrases, nothing specific, and mistakes in raising boys - this is what is written in small print - these are mistakes that should not be made when raising children of both sexes.
And I also liked about the army: "Go son, serve in the army, everything is different there than in civilian life" :) - these words can be explained to a child, not to a young man :)

03/23/2006 21:58:09, Stas

I would like to ask the authors a question: have they heard anything about the army from the first mouth of a normal guy, and not a sissy, Maria Arbatova, or a fool-journalist who, after mowing down from the army, pours mud on it, trying to justify his fear of service? In addition, there are other thoughts. When a “boy is taken into the army”, by the way, he is already at least 18 years old, and if this is not a “hothouse plant”, he himself should understand something, and not listen to the stories of an unserved dad or (certainly not at all!) mothers about hazing as a necessary evil. So I imagined: a mother says to her son: "Go, son, serve. There are also grandfathers in foreign armies, I know for sure. Be gray - and they won't touch you." Added optimism to the guy. Further: dear ladies, I have to upset you - the army authorities are fighting against hazing and how they are fighting, maybe not everywhere, but it’s not necessary to generalize that it’s nowhere at all. He himself served in the unit, where even from the main department (I won’t say which one - a military secret) a commission rolled up for trial. The reason is that one comrade didn’t have time to pee in the morning before exercising (he smoked because), he complained to his mother in a letter (it would be inconvenient for me), she complained to the command: “They scoff at my sons, they don’t let me urinate, they make me endure, and in general he lost weight and etc." "Within two years, he will live by completely different laws." These laws are: the Constitution, the statutes (hundreds of times checked for compliance with the law), the criminal code, international humanitarian law, etc. Of course, no one uses them in civilian life. :) If the word "laws" should be understood not literally, but as certain rules, then there are two of them in the army: regime and discipline, when a young man gets used to them, this is also, of course, bad .: ) Without them, it's better - obviously, in your opinion this is so. And the last. Bulgakov's hero said: "Devastation is not in the toilets, but in the heads." Same thing with hazing. Already a psychologist with a teacher should know that by the age of 18 a person’s personality has basically formed, and a person with an already established system of views and beliefs, which then manifest themselves, is going to serve. If this did not happen, he did not form as a person, then the fault here is not the army, but, excuse me, yours - parents, teachers, psychologists. Let me remind you of the proverb - "teach a child while it is across the bench, when it is along, it's too late." Hazing is not an army phenomenon, but a social one; it simply manifests itself more clearly in the army. In any organization (even at school), who always has more work to do? For a young professional. Watch children in kindergarten when they think that there are no adults nearby and there are children in the group different ages, you will see a lot of interesting things. And these will be the children of not only men who served in the army. Where is it from then? And, in the end, why - a grandfather, and not a godfather, a hillock or something like that?

03/23/2006 21:55:59, Stas

Didn't it seem to you that there were mostly general words?

All this, well, or almost everything is true for girls. They also need a full-fledged family, a sense of security, a parental example, all these tips are also applicable to them, and adolescence also ... happens ...
We just need to live together, I think. And to teach a child, no matter if it's a boy or a girl, to build relationships with other people, to be yourself, to be a Human.

03/23/2006 03:36:02 PM, Irina

4ush, especially about homosexualism

23.03.2006 15:00:39, Sv

Comment on the article "How to raise a son?"

How to properly raise boys? My husband swears all the time that I am raising my son as a girl. What is criminal about this? Moms of boys, give me advice, what are the principles of education, teach me how to raise a real man)).

Discussion

So educate as your heart tells you.

a real man must respect a woman, age, be strong physically and mentally) and so on and so forth)
u educate with affection of course))))) and tough measures can be completely entrusted to dad))

"At the second stage, attention is required from parents first of all. Your child went out into the yard, got into a group of boys. You must carefully study what kind of boys they are. Your girl reaches out to her friends in the yard, you must know these girls well. You must know what the children around your child are fond of, what they lack, what is bad in their games.It happens very often that the attention and initiative of one father or one mother help to change the life of a whole group of children for the better in one way or another ...

How to properly raise a son? At the same time, it is believed that it is in the army that a boy becomes a real man, since service tempers character.

Discussion

At least give your initial data - who are you, what city are you from, what methods do you own, what literature do you recommend, your work or at least thoughts in the form of a blog on the topic, you should probably have in order to start a conversation on such an ambiguous topic, and not in the form of a question, but in the form of a statement that you are a "pro" in this matter.

we were late, everything that was interesting to us, we already learned elsewhere

Expectant mothers are taught a lot. How to swaddle a baby, how to properly feed him, what toys to buy for him, what temperature the water should be for bathing. But no one tells the mother exactly how her child differs from all the others. No one explains how to properly raise a baby, how to give him that very feeling of security and safety, without which the normal development of all his innate properties is impossible. And we raise children, guided by our own ideas that ...

Probably, every parent eventually asks the question: am I a good father / mother for my child? Am I doing everything right, raising my son, as my parents used to do me? Why are the methods of education that used to be relevant today become ineffective? All these endless questions that are difficult to answer are finally cleared up. In this article, you will read a small part of the answers that Yuri Burlan's system-vector psychology gives to the questions of raising children. Be good...

Today's type of men personally irritates me quite strongly, and all because of the lack of masculinity, because of indecision and inability to make a certain decision, inability to stand up for themselves and the lady of their hearts, because of the desire to get away from the problem further, instead of solve it. Most likely, such men were simply not well brought up in childhood, which is why all these problems came from. It is very important to teach a child from an early age such qualities as courage and ...

Discussion

I come from a family where a mother married a father with a child.
You read the adoption paper. There are many pitfalls that you can run into with the best of intentions.
My sister did not remember her mother at 4. And out of the best of intentions, she will grow up and think about why her mother left her, what is it like for a child. They moved and said that my real mother was her. I never had any favors as a junior. Yeah, just in case, so as not to offend the orphan all equally and equally.
What we got: With the youngest, the whole set of problems of children to whom excessive demands are made. With the eldest, at first ten years of jumping through the bushes in fear that the secret will be revealed. Blackmail appeared bio. And also the child was not problem-free, a lot of time and labor. And the second coming of bio is already in adolescence. Then the parents divorced.
It's embarrassing for mom. She lost so many years and so much herself to her sister! She really raised her. And when my mother became old and disabled, when she really needed help, it is very convenient to have a "real" mother, and the one that she really raised "never forgive the deception."

Here is an example from life, but under different circumstances.
My grandfather raised my grandmother's eldest son from his first marriage from the age of five,
my uncle and my dad's brother. Today, for my daughter, he is the only grandfather.

Why does the child steal? The development of vectors laid down by nature directly depends on education. Unfortunately, when discharged from the maternity hospital, along with the baby, parents are not given instructions for use. Preferably a brochure on system-vector psychology, which would help adults correctly determine the child's vector and direct it in the right direction. Letting the baby go free swimming, as well as anchoring, means raising a loser. The sad reality is that...

Discussion

This is really a problem when two elements collide - anal and skin. About the urethral (in relation to the skin) scary and stutter). Well, how can an anal person with his "I don't need someone else's!" to understand this "petty swindler", who only calms down his biochemistry, violated by us - parents ..
After the training, we begin to understand that at some point the skinner can be allowed to lie .. and if he stole it, then not aggravate it with a strap, but .. talk, explain, ridicule in the end, direct him to get a REAL satisfaction of biochemistry. What is important is that we understand that a person (child) is ruled by his mental, he does not do it on purpose - his desire to steal is only a consequence of his innate magnificent properties and .. our upbringing. But how to be other parents who do not know the system, I can’t even imagine ... ((

I have a friend who was thrown into jail by his parents. Such a handsome skin-sound-visual guy.

How to properly raise a son? Every mother does everything to make her child grow up healthy and happy, and if there is a son in the family How can one cultivate masculinity in a son? The times when a man with a weapon in his hands defended...

Discussion

We already have a second boy. The first one is 6 years old, and I think he is doing quite well so far. Spartan, no. But there is also no pampering. It is obligatory to instill a love for "male" sports - swimming, football, baseball, karate. My husband works with him a lot and he has been in circles from an early age (swimming from a year and a half). I always stop my son when he does something bad and explain why it is not necessary to do this, from a very early age. (for example, Why can't you run and yell in a cafe - because other people are not pleased, they came to rest.) We always argue who did what. We analyze the heroes of fairy tales. Praise and encourage is a must. Kissing is a must. I am very against the fact that you can’t kiss guys - because that’s how they are convinced of parental love. If punished, then the child must understand why he was punished (we have this deprivation of interesting activities, the abolition of TV, deportation to his room). You can’t threaten with something that you still can’t do (if you don’t remove the toys, I’ll throw them away - if they said, then you should throw them away). Fulfill your threats (therefore, they must be realistically feasible). And most importantly, devote a lot of time to them.

"Why should a boy stay with his mother when his father and mother are separated?" - must? who told you that? No one owes nothing to nobody. Upon divorce, the child is given
1. to that parent who wants to keep it for himself (it's very simple when one wants, but the other does not)
2. to the one with whom the child will be better (this is when both want to keep themselves)
What is your situation? In my opinion, 3rd - when both want the other to take the child. Then it may turn out that everyone is trying to persuade you to change your mind, and that "when father and mother are separated, the child must remain with mother." But this is and remains just a personal opinion of the people around you, based on statistics - according to statistics, single moms cope with children better than single dads. You can:
1. send others away and do it their way without explaining anything to them
2. explain why your case is special (according to statistics, in 99% of cases, the boy is better off with mom, and you will be better off with dad)
3. agree that your child will be better off with his mother, because it’s not harmful to dream (“I hope that my husband is a responsible and smart person”), but what we hope for and what we dream about is one thing, but reality is different. In life, unfortunately, dreams and hopes often remain so.
I, too, a couple of years ago most of all dreamed about this "how great it would be if my husband was a good father! so that the reb would like to live with him!" etc. etc. Unlike you, everything ended with dreams. I can't do experiments with my child with a 1/100 chance of success.
You write about illusions that you can't live with them. And you yourself live with precisely these illusions: that the BM will suddenly become responsible, that he will put the interests of the children above his own .... 9 out of 10 men simply do not know how to do this, they are brought up like that (to be selfish), and their nature is so laid down (the nature of males are supposed to be fertilized, and go hunting, or to war, and, maybe, not to return from there ... But females are supposed to CARE about the offspring before it, offspring, self-sufficiency).
Are you waiting for a miracle - that from the mere presence of your son in the BM quarter you will "see the light" and change? Wait, wait...

07/28/2006 11:15:04 PM, skinny

4 years ago

Every woman, wishing to give birth to a daughter, in the depths of her soul dreams of a son who looks like a loved one. Every man, no matter how much tenderness and love a daughter evokes in him, also dreams of a son - for him this is a special pride. And everyone - both father and mother - want to raise a real man from a baby. Everyone puts their own into this vague concept, but a number of qualities are the same for everyone - this is courage, strength of character, nobility, protection of the neighbor and the weak. What can contribute to the emergence of these qualities in the upbringing of a boy?

1. Male example

First of all, in order for a real man to grow out of a boy, he needs to see a living example. Ideally, this, of course, is dad - brave, noble, strong. But children are not always brought up with their fathers, and then a grandfather, uncle, older brother can be an example. An example does not have to live nearby, he could live in the last century - it could be a grandfather or great-grandfather, who once saved the whole family, about whose exploits and character the boy will hear and set as the ideal of a man. In the end, it can be a fictional character or the hero of a book - the main thing is that he be a worthy guide for the child.

2. Attitude towards a woman

Cultivate in your baby the old faithful traditions that girls need to be protected and helped. IN best case, this should apply not only to girls, but to everyone who is weaker or younger than your son. Let it be not only about literal protection - to stand up for the girl if she is attacked by hooligans. Talk about nobility and gallantry - open the door in front of a girl, give way to someone who is younger, etc.

3. Mom must be a woman

If you tell your child that a woman is a kind, weak creature that needs protection, and at the same time, at home, the mother will be the head of the family, who commands all family members with the child, it is unlikely that you will be able to put the idea of a woman in your head that you originally wish. In any case, let the main rule and taboo be the absence of punishment from the mother. If you are sure that it is not enough to raise a son kind words that more serious actions are needed, let the child be punished by the father, grandfather, uncle, coach - a man, but not a mother.

4. Physical activity

In order for a boy to be confident in himself and in his abilities, he must be physically developed. Sport is a big component of a man, which should not be deprived of a child. It is not necessary to enroll him in "men's sections" such as boxing, football or hockey, but let his life become sports - exercises, running, biking, skating or rollerblading - physical activity should fill his free time.

5. Men's obligations

Make a list of duties that the son must perform as a man. At first, it can only be cleaning your room, then taking out the trash, then screwing in light bulbs, etc. Let him see how adult men work around the house, let the elders always involve their son in these matters. Even if he is still too small for real help, he can always hold, serve or carry something - and feel that he has made a significant contribution to the common cause.

6. Toys for a real man

No matter how mothers resist buying toy weapons for a child, it is still clear that toys for a boy and a girl should be significantly different.

7. More freedom

Of course, every mother worries about her child and tries to prevent any dangers that may surround him. But do not overdo it - do not go there, do not touch it, you will fall, you will prick yourself - in this way you will not bring up a real man. Give him more freedom - boys climb trees, break their knees - yes, it is very difficult for a mother to allow this - but a curious, courageous, courageous child will grow up from his son, studying the world with interest.

8. Praise your son

Your child must be confident in himself, his strength, his truth. Support him, praise him for the little things, and not just when he did some act of a real man.

9. Don't spoil

Sometimes parents want to give their child something they didn't have. Do not seek to decide everything for your son, do not deprive him of his individuality and independent living. Try not to spoil the children and stop possible whims.

10. Patriotic education

If you want to raise a real man, it's not enough to talk about protecting girls and younger ones. He must understand that the defender of the Motherland, her hope and support, is growing out of him. Talk about the exploits of great heroes, read books and watch patriotic films. Observe the traditions of your people and instill respect for the country in which he was born.

But the most important thing when raising a real man is to trust yourself, not be limited to any particular educational system and patterns. Love the baby, tell him more often how strong, courageous, reliable and noble you see him - and one day there will be one more real man in the world.

Raising a boy is not an easy job. It is necessary to prepare for the process long before the moment of birth. This is not a banal phrase, since education requires special knowledge. The expectant mother (if she knew the sex of the child in advance) is recommended to carefully study the recommendations of experienced professionals in order to have an idea of the principles of raising a man in a family.

IT'S IMPORTANT TO KNOW! Fortuneteller Baba Nina:"There will always be plenty of money if you put it under your pillow..." Read more >>

In order to wait for grandchildren and great-grandchildren, who will become a real gift in old age, it is first of all worth raising a worthy person from a son. As you know, character shapes destiny. Fate will be favorable to a kind, well-mannered man, and he will live a happy life. Thus, there is a relationship between education and future fate not only a person, but also his relatives.

How to properly raise a male child?

In order to properly educate a boy, it is necessary to understand the difference in the formation of personalities of different sexes. It can be illustrated by the example of kindness. For girls, the latter lies in tenderness and complaisance, since a woman should be able to adapt to her parents, teachers, and husband.

The boy's kindness is expressed in constructive actions that can help another person (it is necessary to teach the child to provide not only moral, but also physical help).

Necessary qualities of character

To grow a real man, it is necessary to instill in him certain character traits. None of them should be ignored, since a whole range of required qualities is important:

diligence;
responsibility;
willpower;
purposefulness;
authority;
courage;
determination;
independence;
adherence to principles;
cleanliness;
organization;
discipline;
kindness;
responsiveness;
sociability;
generosity;
compassion;
courtesy;
positive attitude towards women;
respect for elders;
subordination.

All these qualities are vital for a child. He must grow up as a full-fledged member of society, who has a sense of his own dignity.

From birth, a baby tries to absorb every word and intonation of the people around him. The task of parents is to teach him to feel and understand when his help is needed, and when his presence is undesirable. This important point, which will help him adapt in life and will not provoke infantilism. A sense of timeliness in a man should be formed in childhood.

The main thing in raising a child is good example. It is useless to engage in theory when the baby sees a completely different picture in front of him. Parents who love each other, who give their children maximum attention, are almost freed from unnecessary efforts in their upbringing. A harmonious family will become indicative for the formation of a young man's idea of life with his chosen one and future offspring.

The subtle psychology of the child will allow you to catch the most insignificant moments in the behavior of parents, so it is recommended to heed the advice of experienced professionals.

To raise a boy to be a real man, you need to pay attention to each of the following aspects.

Trait	Recommendations
Responsibility	Responsibility will be needed by the future man throughout his life. An adult is obliged to take care of his wife, children, parents. He must become a competent boss or an executive subordinate at work. In order to cultivate these qualities in a son, it is necessary to involve him in the performance of duties that are pleasant for him. If there are younger brothers and sisters in the house, it is recommended to involve the child in their upbringing. It is worth doing it correctly, without orders. Let the boy become them best friend and take care of the kids during the absence of parents. A smart decision would be to get your son pets or simply involve him in household chores. If a boy is happy to walk a dog, feed a cat or a hamster, fish, water flowers or dust, he should be involved in these activities. The main thing is that this duty should be daily, depend only on him and bring pleasure to the child. It is not necessary to praise him for this daily, but periodically it is worth recalling his merits and voicing them to all relatives
industriousness	From early childhood it is necessary to accustom the child to work. It is necessary to give the opportunity to the son to eat on his own, handing him a spoon in his hands. This is his first job. As soon as the child learns to walk, it is recommended to playfully ask him to bring objects (toys, books). Then gradually complicate the task by asking her to bring water to her mother or help bring a light bag. At 5 years old, a boy should be able to fully take care of himself, clean his room, take care of order among toys and help his mother and father with simple work. It can be repairing a house, working in a country house, cleaning a garage, repairing a car, and other things. You should not load the baby with heavy unbearable tasks, but it is necessary to give simple instructions. future man able to do much more work than his parents think. Seeing the results of his work, the boy will feel the pleasure of the process itself. In later life, a man will not be afraid of any work and will easily choose any profession for himself.
purposefulness	A future man from childhood should see a goal to strive for. Parents need to come up with a hobby for the child that takes a long time to complete. An example would be buying an expensive item. It is worth explaining to your son that to purchase a phone (tablet, set-top box, etc.) a certain amount of money is required, which is not yet available. It is necessary to involve the child in the joint fundraising. This is money given to him for his birthday or holiday, earned while cleaning the house, working in the garden, etc. Do not be afraid to give money to the baby or voice the amount he has earned. When required amount money will be collected, it is necessary to take away his contribution and, finally, buy the treasured thing. All family members are encouraged to sincerely share the joy of the child and devote some time to the purchase (to play with him, consider, etc.). Examples will be sports (winning competitions), creativity (participation in exhibitions of drawings, modeling). Feeling goal achieved the son will like it so much that he will be able to handle any tasks
Willpower	Purposefulness forms willpower, since a weak-willed man cannot achieve anything in life. Parents need to convey to the child a simple truth: if you do not deny yourself anything, then you can lose what you have. For example, if you limit yourself to small expenses, it will be possible to purchase a more valuable thing. If you do not demand from your parents, falling into hysterics, in a toy store, there is a chance to get a reward for good behavior. It is important to make it clear to the child that desires do not always coincide with the possibilities and each person should be able to limit himself in some things. It is assumed that a child at 6 years old knows numbers and can read. This will greatly simplify his studies at school. Without a certain willpower and perseverance, the boy will not be able to join the accelerated rhythm of adult life. Therefore, the ultimate goal of parents will be to try to convey to their child the principles of norms of behavior and actions. You need to learn when you want to walk, to resist when you want to take someone else's thing (theft), not to hit (rudely answer) when a woman offended. Willpower manifests itself in limiting one's emotions and desires for the sake of dignity.
Courage	Many parents believe that the main task in raising a child is to teach him obedience. They are very happy when the son obeys and does not make any unnecessary movements. It is worth noting that we are talking about raising a boy. If he is constantly afraid to take an extra step without asking permission from his parents, a "sissy" will grow out of him. You should not use prohibitions, because every person should receive a portion of his personal experience. It is necessary to tell the child what is dangerous for his life and where he can get injured. Let him do the rest on his own. Nothing terrible will happen if the son fights with the boys on the street (if he himself did not become the instigator of the fight). No need to run and stand up for your child and demonstrate strength in front of his peers. It is recommended to teach the boy to stand up for himself and protect the weak, even if he gets bruises and bumps. There will be many moments in life when there will be no support nearby. Parents need to start by turning off the light when the son goes to bed, leaving him alone in the apartment from an early age (at first, you can hide behind the door). A reasonable decision would be to let him go alone to kindergarten or to the store (quietly following him). It is important to provide complete freedom, imperceptibly controlling it
Determination	Courage and determination are synonymous in the moral sense of the word. Decisiveness also needs to be instilled from infancy. If a child can accept independent solutions without consulting your mother or father is the great art of parenting. There is a very thin line between the behavior when the boy does not take into account the opinions of others, and the ability to take independent actions. Parents are encouraged to be sympathetic to any point of view that the son demonstrates. In no case should you immediately criticize, and even more so - scold for a quick decision. It is very delicate to explain to the child what he did wrong and what consequences arose from this. If the quick decision was made correctly, then it is necessary to praise the guy for his initiative and determination. Such a tactful adjustment will gradually develop a strong character in the future man. He will wisely distribute what to decide for himself, what to consult with his parents. After all, in later life he will have to give advice to his loved ones himself.
Attitude towards women	In order to properly raise a son as a worthy man, it is necessary to teach him to love and respect women. An example would be a father who demonstrates love and caring for his mother. The son will gladly adopt the model of his family and will treat his wife in this way. The mother of the child will also play a huge role. It is important to understand that the happiness of a son lies not only in love for his mother, but also for his wife. The parent needs to combine these two concepts so that one does not exclude the other. It is not worth saying that only a mother is capable of loving a man, and any other woman is temporary. It is necessary to draw the attention of the son to good girls, to allow him to be friends with them, protect and treat them gallantly. Even from early childhood, these qualities become the norm of behavior for a son. The boy's attention should also be drawn to girls with bad behavior and warned against befriending them. In the future, the child will learn to distinguish good from evil and choose a worthy girl as a partner. And communication with the mother and her wise advice will help to establish harmonious relations in the family and maintain mutual understanding with your relatives and the parents of the chosen one.
Respect and the concept of subordination	This skill, which parents should instill in the male child, will be very useful to him. The boy needs to grow up surrounded by people who respect each other and their loved ones. You should not allow disrespectful attitude towards grandparents, nannies, uncles and aunts. The boy needs to explain the norm of communication, which does not even allow an increased tone in addressing older people. It is important to focus on the fact that older people are worth a lot of effort to care for a child. But they do it because they love and want to help, for this it is necessary to thank them with a respectful attitude. It is permissible to address native uncles and aunts with “you”, but it is desirable, after all, with “you” (by agreement with the parents). You can turn to strangers with “you” at a time when the child has recently learned to speak. Further work parents will teach the boy to address people in a respectful manner. If a schoolboy at the age of 7 treats his peers and adults in the same way, then this is regarded as familiarity and bad manners. This is fraught with the absence permanent place work and lack of communication

What should be avoided in raising a boy?

To raise a real man, you must try to avoid some common mistakes. Giving all their love to the child, parents forget that in adulthood, children will have to live on their own. It won't always be possible to give right advice or quickly protect from hooligans. Life does not stand still, and those who do not know how to adapt to its rhythm find themselves on the sidelines. An adult person, in the case of improper upbringing, still remains a child: spoiled or intimidated - and becomes even more helpless than in infancy.

This should be remembered by parents who deprive an adult of the real joys of life. Guys get into bad company, become addicted bad habits, find themselves unworthy women or remain alone for the rest of their lives. To prevent this from happening, it is necessary to prevent the development of the following qualities of the child’s character:

irresponsibility;
lack of willpower;
indecision;
cowardice;
bad manners;
laziness;
cunning;
lack of discipline;
permissiveness;
faux pas;
disrespect for adults;
spinelessness;
lack of communication.

Experienced psychologists give specific advice on what should not be allowed in a relationship with a child. It is important not to ignore such recommendations and start the educational process as early as possible.

If parents notice that the child's behavior has begun to deteriorate, and upbringing does not bring the desired result, you should contact specialists. They will be able to determine what exactly is the cause of the boy's bad deeds, and will give specific advice.

Possible mistakes that parents often make are presented in the table.

Mistakes	Consequences
Overprotection	Trying to do everything for the child, parents deprive him of the opportunity to learn to live independently. Many people have a misconception about the age of growing up. A caring mother tries to help her son, forgetting that every day he needs her care less and less. The boy is spoon-fed to keep him clean; dress to be faster; clean up toys. Parents are lost in time and do not notice that they are already almost an adult young man. Then an absolutely healthy boy turns into a helpless person. He did not know about the thoughts of his parents: "Grow up - learn" and never learned
Full freedom	When a boy is given complete freedom, he ceases to feel the difference between good and evil and does not see where the boundary of safety lies. If the child is left to himself, instead of development, a stop occurs. Do not think that a sense of self-preservation will allow a small person to grow up as a worthy person. Even if he is lucky, the lack of parental attention will affect his health, psyche or behavior. An ill-bred man will never be able to become a truly happy person in all respects. Ahead of him is a ten-year study at school, then an adult team. A situation where everything is possible gives rise to irresponsibility and lack of communication
Permissiveness	The situation when parents do not deny anything to their child is quite common these days. Raising a boy in a wealthy family, mom or dad do everything so that the baby does not need anything. It seems prestigious to them, because they imagine it to be an "expensive toy". There is another position when a low-income family (or one parent) tries to give all their income so that the child is no worse than others. Both cases are catastrophic for the formation of the child's personality. As a result of such upbringing, ruthless, greedy, self-centered men grow up. They are not able to take care not only of their future family, but also of their elderly parents. The child must know the word “no”, because in life there are certain norms and rules that every person needs to follow
Permanent punishments	Some parents consider constant punishment for any oversight as the norm of upbringing. Every little thing the child must do perfectly or redo several times. Parents behave cruelly, but at the same time they are driven by a good desire to make a worthy person out of a child. They do not understand that they are only making it worse for him. Having escaped from their guardianship, a person will forever forget all the rules and norms of behavior and go "in all serious ways." The little man has been waiting for so long for all this to end, and finally, he has gained the long-awaited freedom. It's good if good people appear on his way. Often such children end up in bad companies, where no one punishes and everything is possible. Such relationships lead to sad consequences. Demanding an ideal result from the child, one should remember how things were with the parents themselves: were they so diligent and what methods were used to educate them
Doing work for my son	It is a big mistake to take on the work of the baby, not giving him the opportunity to learn how to do something on his own. It starts from infancy, when parents help build a pyramid without giving the child a single cube in their hands. Then school begins, when good grades are prioritized over the child's knowledge. In this case, a person grows up who is not able to do anything on his own. The guy will be ashamed to communicate with more successful friends, it is problematic to find a job and start a family. An adult who wants to achieve something in life will have to start learning again. Parents will put the guy in such an awkward position in which it is absolutely impossible to find a use for himself anywhere. Harmless help will turn into a big tragedy for an adult man
Standing Tips	Many parents (especially mothers) love their sons too much and constantly give them “smart advice”. They are so involved in the role that they practically live the life of their child. In some cases, they even cross the line when a father could give more constructive advice. But mothers consider themselves more competent even in purely male matters. In such families, real "mama's sons" grow up, who, without a parental word, are not able to take a single step. Guys become so indecisive that they cannot find mutual understanding with representatives of either sex. Friends do not invite them with them, and the girls bypass them. Women know that they will have to undergo a rigorous assessment of the mother, which is a priori negative. Father's advice should also not be based on his own negative experience and be intrusive. Timely constructive advice will be relevant
Lack of advice	This is another extreme, when the boy is given the right to decide on his own any issues. He can bring friends to the house at any time, buy a thing he likes, leave without asking far from home. Parents still confuse this behavior with independence. They forget that in modern world there are many situations that do not have an unambiguous solution and cannot be done without outside help. The boy needs to be explained that his interests should in no case violate the interests of other people. Listening to an outsider's opinion is always useful and relevant. In addition, the guy after marriage will not consult with his wife. And this will inevitably lead to quarrels and scandals, because a family cannot be built on the principle: “I decide everything myself”
Too soft upbringing	Many mothers who originally wanted a girl are raising a boy in the same way. They constantly kiss and hug him, tremble with him over every scratch, examine cosmetics and cry, looking through the melodrama. Psychologists have a lot of similar stories in store. Mom tries to make a girlfriend out of her son, then she is upset that she can’t wait for her grandchildren. It is necessary to bring up the boy in more severe conditions. A reasonable solution would be to leave the bulk of the upbringing to dad. Do not allow the son to cry for a long time and feel sorry for himself, do not apply excessive tenderness and diminutive nicknames to him. It is better if the boy goes in for sports or has other hobbies associated with physical activity. None of the parents wants to see in an adult guy a pampered, capricious, devoid of masculinity representative of the "strong" sex
Too harsh upbringing	Do not use too hard upbringing. If the boy hit hard, do not be indifferent to his pain. It must be remembered that first of all he is a child. You should feel sorry for him a little and provide all possible assistance. Parents should objectively assess the extent of the injury and not allow the child to feel sorry for himself. Constantly ignoring his fatigue, feeling unwell, in no case should you overload him with work. Physical punishment is strictly prohibited. A boy who grew up in such Spartan conditions is incapable of pitying anyone. He is not used to receiving love and tenderness, so he will not be able to give it. This will become the norm of life, not only in relation to his created family, but also to his parents. Man will grow up callous, cruel and ruthless
Deception	Many parents choose to deceive a child for his own good. little son should not know that dad has gone to another, there is no money in the house, mom is not feeling well, and grandmother does not want to sit with him because of his bad manners. The child is not able to understand the subtleties of the problem, but it is not recommended to dedicate anyone to the details. In no case should you deceive a child. All these points must be very correctly explained to the son. Do not dramatize the situation and seat the boy for a serious conversation. You can do this casually so that the baby understands the naturalness of the situation. In later life, he will have many similar stories for which he will be ready. Protecting the son in this way from the realities of life, you can get a similar attitude on his part. Then the excuse would be: "I didn't mean to upset you"
Lack of help	The opinion of parents that their help will be superfluous is erroneous. Some people practice a tactic in which the child puzzles over a problem for a long time until he finds the correct answer. By their actions, parents try to achieve independence from their son. In adulthood, such upbringing can lead to a guy's lack of communication skills, his inability to work in a team. He has to search long correct solution and don't ask for help. Accustomed to her absence from childhood, the guy will consider the treatment as shameful and unworthy of a man. At this time, the rest of the guys will move on, mastering new positions. In the modern world, such a delay threatens with a catastrophic lag. And the desire to do everything on your own - nervous breakdowns and health problems

To raise a boy as a real man, one statement about his son is not enough. Even a ten-year-old boy can hardly imagine the meaning of such words, not to mention a five-year-old child. Usually the father becomes an exemplary indicator for the son. When a mother treats the father of the family with respect, love, then this is doubly wonderful.

How to raise a son to be a real man?

Quite a few important role methods of psychology and pedagogy play in the upbringing of a son. The main thing is not just to know about them, but also to apply them in the process, then it will turn out to grow a real man.

Whatever qualities parents would like to instill in their child, the main thing is love. Sons, "shrouded" in this from childhood wonderful feeling grow up confident and friendly.

How to raise a confident boy? You can build confidence in a boy through sports. This is how willpower develops. In the first couple, simple ones will suffice. physical exercise but everyday. It is desirable to make a set of exercises together.

As the child grows, there are many interests. Parents need to approve his initiative. Praise from mom, dad will not be superfluous. A boy, even in early childhood, needs to think for himself. In the absence of such moments, it is advisable for parents to push the child to make decisions on his own, to be responsible for the actions done, whatever they may be.

Boys and girls have different psychology, in order to raise a boy as a real man, the psychology of the relationship between parents and son is based on respect and trust.

You can’t scold your son for doing something wrong; just explain or show how to do it right. And, on the contrary, if everything is done with precision, it is true - be sure to praise the child.

How to raise two boys? The upbringing of two boys is aimed at joint actions: walking, playing, cleaning, helping parents. The instilled sense of kinship from childhood will not allow you to become lonely in the future. Parents need to convey to their sons that there are no closer relatives. Standing up for each other, you can’t leave in trouble - this is an obligatory duty.

Rules for raising boys

Parental influence on the upbringing of a child in each family proceeds differently. Everything is obvious, but how to raise a boy correctly? Many factors play a role in education. At a certain stage of growing up, the influence of the father or mother on the upbringing of the boy occurs with differences.

As a guide, parents should consider the basic rules for raising a son:

the boundless love of a mother for her son. One should not only love him very much, but also become loved;
educate self-esteem, and not follow the orders of dad, mom;
parents need to be explained that the work that has been started must be completed;
enroll in the sports section. There, notes of self-discipline will “attach”, and the child will become physically prepared;
Teach your child to be resilient in the face of defeat. Difficulties to overcome by any means;
a sense of responsibility in male education is important;
a feeling of mercy, compassion for all: people, animals.

The actions of the father are the best example for the son. Until the age of 4-5, the boy does not notice anyone except his mother. Having crossed this age, the child seems to reach out to his father: he is interested in watching the actions, work, and hobbies of his father. It is during this period and beyond that the parent needs to monitor speech and behavior.

Family traditions. One of the aspects in the social education of boys is the family culture: spiritual, material, physical. Where fatherhood plays an important role. Correctness in this direction depends on the social and cultural level of the parents.

Society. We cannot leave aside the rules for raising boys in modern society and problems in this area. At modern society their laws. Most boys and girls are often left unattended.

It happens that boys get involved with bad company. To prevent this from happening, parents need to watch their children from childhood: with whom they communicate, in what area they spend their time. All this will help to avoid many conflicts in the future.

How to raise a boy to be brave?

When a boy from childhood begins to be afraid of everything, then throughout his life the feeling of fear grows rapidly along with the development of the child. Therefore, in order to instill courage in a boy, parents need to make a lot of diligence.

A few tips will help mom, dad:

complete harmony in the family will give an excellent result: the boy will gain self-confidence and become bold. In a family where mom says one thing, dad says in his own way, the child is in constant confusion, plus everything - annoyed;
it is forbidden to set an example for other people's children. There will be only one way out - inferiority. Some parents think that by praising another child, their boy will want to be like him. This is not so: nothing will follow except the development of uncertainty;
there should be moderate guardianship, feelings in relation to the parents to the son;
enroll in a sports club. They are simply necessary for the upbringing of cheerfulness, courage.

Never call a child cowardly. Parents can help fight this feeling, convey to him that fear, in principle, is a normal phenomenon and should not be feared. The best medicine to overcome fear is laughter. You can beat everything in a funny way, for example, come up with a fairy tale about a child who has ceased to be afraid of everything. Such a simple method will easily cope with how to bring up courage and glibness in a boy;

Throughout life path more than once there will be troubles, difficulties. It is important not to lose heart and in no case give up to fate. A great contribution to the development of boys as individuals is made not only by parents, but also by kindergarten, school, training, sections, circles.

Raising a boy without a father

At every stage of growing up, a boy should be raised with love, care and moral support. If you follow all the recommendations and take into account the age periodization of the child, then you will definitely be able to make a real man out of a boy.

Raising a son on your own is hard. Some people believe that a true man will not grow out of a baby if he grows up without a dad.

How to raise a boy without a father:

such an opinion is erroneous. It is very important to competently and consistently follow the recommendations of professionals in the matter of raising a child;
an example of a real man. Every kid should have a role model. Such a role can be entrusted to one of the relatives of the stronger sex, a teacher;
physical development. It is necessary to give the baby to the sports section, where direct communication will take place with the boys, with the coach.

Too much care. It is not good to make up for the absence of a father with exaggerated care and indulgence of the baby's whims. It is very important to educate a boy to be independent from a young age. Do not solve all his difficulties for him. If it doesn't work the first time, let him try again. It is extremely important to be patient.

attitude towards men. Moms need to demonstrate a positive attitude towards the male sex. It is strictly forbidden to humiliate them or swear in front of the baby. If the mother experiences discomfort in communicating with men, then the child will be able to catch the negative attitude of the mother. He will not be able to understand why mother and son have a positive relationship, but negative with other men. Such behavior can cause an imbalance in the perception of the relationship between a woman and a man.

Care and strength. To form in the baby the qualities of empathy, sympathy, sensitive perception of any events. Raise a boy to be a strong and caring man. You always need to remain a loving, affectionate, caring woman, and not take on all the troubles of a child. The future man must learn to cope with life's adversities on his own.

Mistakes in raising boys

The most common mistake is to forbid the expression of negative emotions. The boy has the right to tears because he is a child. You may develop a habit of hiding all your emotions. This leads to problems in adulthood.

The cruel upbringing of boys leads to a constant feeling of fear. Many people think that cruel parenting is only physical abuse, but this is not true.

Types of physical abuse of a child:

physical punishment;
lack of love;
rejection of the child as a person:
emotional rejection.

When punishments are incommensurable with the child's act, he loses himself as a person. Fear breeds cruelty and aggression.

Contradictory upbringing is unacceptable. In the family, everyone should adhere to the same line of behavior. You can not load a child with unbearable non-childish tasks.

Tactile contact. Many cannot decide whether tactile contact is acceptable in raising sons. A baby under 5 years old needs tactile contact with his mother, since at this age the child is more attached to his mother. He needs the manifestation of love in the form of kisses and hugs.

At the age of 6 - 7 years, the boy begins to identify himself with the male sex. The role of the father is very important here. A father should spend a lot of time with his son. There may be a little tactile contact in their relationship: a pat on the shoulder, a handshake.

Tips for raising boys will help you choose the right line of conduct when communicating with your son. It is recommended not to undermine the authority of men with disparaging remarks in the presence of a child.

How to raise a man in a boy:

to promote the communication of the son with real men;
dad should actively participate in the upbringing of his son;
communicate as equals – with respect and understanding;
answer all questions in detail, even if they seem naive;
listen carefully, but at the same time stop talkativeness;
be interested in his interests;
excessive guardianship is unnecessary;
do not stop impulses to do something on your own;
maintain a balance between criticism and encouragement;
teach respect for women and the elderly;
to devote his son to his affairs in order to arouse sympathy and empathy;
encourage honesty;
violation of the regime may be allowed only in exceptional cases;
to teach by personal example to keep promises;
not subject to humiliation and insults;
to instill indulgence and tolerance towards people;
from the age of seven to involve in the discussion of family issues;
develop the child's creative inclinations and teach how to use the tool;
encourage interaction with peers;
teach to lose.

It depends only on the parents what kind of person the boy will become. Every missed minute in raising a boy can turn into a tragedy.

Whatever principles are used in the process of education, the child must clearly know that he is loved and respected. Then the little son will definitely grow up to be a real man.

The diaper period is over, your son has learned to walk, talk, eat and dress on his own. You notice that the child grows up, actively interacts with children and adults, learns the rules of behavior in society according to their gender. It's time to think about how to instill in a child truly masculine qualities of character, to raise him to be noble, responsible, honest.

Psychologists and sociologists say that raising a boy is the father's task. In real life, for various reasons, often educational process a child of any gender falls completely on the shoulders of women: mothers, grandmothers, nannies, workers kindergarten, teachers. It’s good if the man’s relatives are involved in the lives of children, setting a worthy example, but if this is not possible, the mother will have to take everything into her own hands. The following tips for raising a boy will help all family members choose right direction actions, will give the basis for the formation of male behavior.

Age psychology distinguishes three stages through which the boy passes on the way to growing up:

The transition from one stage to another can be very conditional or take place rapidly, accompanied by crises. The third age segment is the most difficult, full of parental fears: it is difficult to talk with a child, he becomes secretive, aggressive, even if before that the relationship with him was kind, friendly. Trust is often the best tactic - to let your son get his bumps, to be there when he needs it, to continue to love him. If in the previous two stages you have laid a good foundation - taught prudence, responsibility, the ability to solve problems - a teenager will safely get out of a difficult period.

The harmonious formation of a boy's personality at any age is impossible without parental love. Unconditional acceptance is the most important condition for becoming a self-confident, open, courageous person. By showing sincere participation, interest in the life of the child, willingness to help, support, you are laying a solid foundation happy life own son.

The role of mom and dad

Observing the behavior of family members, children learn certain norms adopted in a given cell of society, adopt life scenarios, learn stereotypes, patterns, in other words, they become the same as the adults around them. The appearance of a child stimulates the development of the parents themselves, the peculiarities of raising boys make their own adjustments to relationships within the family.

boy mom

She is the most for a boy from birth close person, giving care, care, food, satisfying almost all the needs of the crumbs. This attachment lasts a lifetime, even if there are problems in the relationship between mother and son. However, the transition from infancy to early childhood is marked by a decrease in guardianship, an increase in trust, and an encouragement of independence on the part of the mother.

An adult son will treat girls in the same way as his mother, he will choose a life partner who looks like his mother. This imposes a tangible responsibility. How to lay the right attitude towards a woman, a family?

The role of the father

The role of the father in the upbringing of the boy is very important: the father for the baby is the first and most important landmark. The son observes how the father behaves with his mother, younger brothers and sisters, other adults, and at the subconscious level copies his behavior. If a man is restrained, fair, caring, his son will be the same if there is contact, sincere communication, participation.

Modern society has reduced the papal role in the upbringing of children solely to the extraction of money. Lately psychologists are increasingly talking about the need to involve men in the process of raising children from birth. The active participation of the father contributes to the establishment of contact with the baby, creates the basis for further relationships, relieves the burden on the mother. Husband and wife become more open with each other, caring for a child, sharing parental responsibilities unite spouses, the atmosphere at home is filled with a spirit of cooperation, mutual assistance, and camaraderie.

The lack of quality communication between a man and his family often becomes the cause of misunderstanding, scandals, and divorces. Crisis situations like this place a huge burden on children. With the advent of a child, a new father should, if possible, review his work schedule, other activities outside the home, think about how he can take a full part in family life.

Dad, raising his son, should not be excessively strict, dry. The boy needs paternal praise, affection, encouragement, faith that he can achieve high results. Father's love important condition building self-confidence and self-confidence, as well as a good example of caring for loved ones, which the growing boy will carry with him into adulthood.

self-mama

The number of single-parent families where a child is raised by one mother continues to grow. Sometimes it the best solution primarily for the child. Contrary to stereotypes, a woman without a husband can raise a beautiful, worthy kid, taking into account the peculiarities of raising boys and adhering to some rules:

To establish a comfortable, healthy everyday communication with your son will help the advice of a psychologist - simple principles for boys of all ages:

Accept that the child is a separate person from you. He may be completely different, not like you, have interests that you do not like. You will not always be satisfied with his choices, his friends, his way of spending time. Instead of “breaking” the boy, take care of yourself - devote more time to your spouse, your hobbies, and relaxation.

These simple rules for raising a boy must be followed by all family members - then the impact will be really effective. Disagreements lead to the fact that the child loses orientation, boundaries, begins to rebel, "shatter" the family. Discuss the line of conduct with your husband, grandparents, agree on controversial points and stick to the chosen educational model. Some of the recommendations may be difficult to follow at first. You have a great goal - to grow a happy, successful person and build good, friendly relations with this person. There will be setbacks and setbacks along the way to this goal, but with the right strategy, you will achieve the desired result.