How to let go of the situation: advice from psychologists. How to let go of the situation: practical recommendations and advice from a psychologist

A person's fixation on any situation does not give him the opportunity to live in the present. Why do some people manage to go forward, overcoming obstacles, difficulties, betrayal, pain associated with certain life stories on the way, while others still stubbornly cling to the negative of the past and do not want to let go of the situation?

The past must and can be let go if your true motivation is to live in this world.

Let's see how it is possible to let go of the past? Perhaps someone will want to object to me and say that you cannot let go of the past, and how can you abandon the past, which had so much good and valuable: joy, experience, meetings that gave pleasure and happiness at that time? My answer is simple - this article was written for those who really ask themselves the question: how to let go of the situation and live in the present?

1. The human psyche has a powerful resource for the restoration of emotional and mental health. Our psyche is structured as follows: all the good and positive that was once with us, we can, if we wish, remember in the smallest detail. For example, remember the first love: the sensations that she gave us, smells, a state of lightness, peace of mind. We can even remember the weather in summer garden on a date, all the objects around us: clothes in which you and your loved one were dressed, a person's smile, the first kiss and the "taste" of tenderness. In Neurolinguistic Programming (NLP), many techniques for working with a client are devoted to the reproduction (remembering) of pleasant moments in life. What this is for, I will describe later.

2. Emotions for 98% control the thought and activity of a person. Why is a person being provided with a consultation of a family psychologist, psychologists of other areas today? This opportunity exists today for everyone who thinks wider than the formed stereotype that all psychologists work for "fools" and madmen. So, modern man overloaded with information negative character... Think about what television is showing you and your children today, the radio reports, social networks and the Internet; What issues are covered by the policies of all states and countries today? What kind of people are around you and what information do they bring you? And what choice does a person have today in order to fence themselves off the unnecessary negativity imposed on society?

3. How to let go of the past? Start with yourself. Give up unnecessary false beliefs. It is important to note here that the past is considered to be both the events and plots of old years, and the situations of several past days, weeks. How to let go of the situation and live in peace? The reaction of a person to some actions and words of other people can be very painful, in other words, "hurting for a living." What usually hurts (touches) a person? Many of us spoil our lives by clinging to our old beliefs and principles that prevent adequate communication with people and the world around us. We value our principles so much that we are afraid to abandon them, it is easier for us to break ties with people dear to us, so that no one sees our mistakes and weaknesses. After all, if we give up some of our words, once said, we will have to admit that we have made a mistake. We do not want to change, although the world changes daily and something no longer serves us to achieve our goals.

4. How to let go of the situation and improve the quality of life? So let's take an example from my practice. Once a woman came to me for a consultation, she cannot let go of the past and continues to live with the events of 20 years ago. What makes her today be unhappy and live with thoughts in the past? Once upon a time this woman had a family: a beloved husband and two beautiful children, who, unfortunately, at that moment were not of great value to her. She built a career and was only interested in her own development. Time passed, the children grew up, the husband got tired of indifference to himself and the children, and began to spend more and more time at work, and eventually met a woman who appreciated him. At a time when my client's family was slowly crumbling, she did nothing to save it. The youth and beauty of this woman at that time meant much more to her than family, and she calmly went to divorce her husband and still very long time did not regret anything. Only 20 years later, she began to think that nothing important happened in her life, the children grew up and communicate with their father, but she is alone and no one needs. For 10 years, this woman lived with hatred and resentment against her husband, who, according to her, after breaking up with her, was able to make a good career, create a wonderful family with another woman and has great respect and honor from her children, whose mother has divorced a lot. years ago. Pity brought her to me. She didn't want to change anything in her life. As they say, the train has left, and you need to live on, but she likes to live in suffering more. She was not interested in help, the conviction that there are no worthy men around and self-pity about the lost promising past that she missed, today fuels her behavior and negative thoughts about ex-husband and children who value their father more than her.

5. How to let go of the past or how to let go of the situation? Recommendations for those who want to live happily:

• Answer yourself to the question: "what are you fixated on?" Take apart the situation. For example, you broke off a relationship with a person because of your pride, arrogance.
• Point out to yourself what specifically prevents you from letting go of the situation? Perhaps this is an understatement, you did not put an end to the relationship. And it doesn't matter that you last communicated with a person a year ago, if you are still thinking about it today, it means that it is important today. So you are living with the events of the past.
• What can you do now to let go of the past and start life from scratch? Is it possible to contact this person, write a letter, call, say something important? Take your chance, do what is important to you and what no longer requires delay.
• A letter without an address alone. In psychological practice, there is a therapeutic writing technique that allows a person to understand himself and write on paper everything that worries him. The task of this technique is to pull out from the inside everything that makes your life heavy and prevents you from feeling the joy of life. Basically, you are working with your own subconscious. You take a piece of paper, a pencil, and start writing to a specific person everything that you want to tell him. The advantage of this technique is that it is easy to implement, and gives you the opportunity to write down everything, both good and bad, without hiding anything in your soul. The letter does not require you to send it. After working on it, you can burn it, hiding your thoughts from prying eyes.
• How to let go of the situation if it requires your quick and direct participation, inclusion in the process? Here it comes about something that, for example, you have not done, do not want to do, or which you cannot decide on. Let's say you promised your child that you would take him to the park, but you didn't keep your promise and left for other business. The situation is not resolved, your promise is a debt to the child, and the debts must be repaid. What should be done to regain the child's trust and get rid of the feeling of guilt towards him? To let go this situation, you can only keep your promise, asking the child for forgiveness, if you feel that your behavior has offended the child.
• Forgiveness is freedom from the past. How to ask for forgiveness and let go of the past? There is a whole algorithm of forgiveness steps. But, about them later. So, asking for forgiveness often means regaining trust and good relationship with people. After all, we are all human, and it is human to err. Do not be proud and arrogant, ask for forgiveness if you feel that you did something wrong. You will feel much better at heart, you will regain your emotional and mental health. Make room for what's important to you today.
• How to let go of the past and live happily today? At the beginning of the article, I described the possibilities of our psyche to reproduce in memory the memories of pleasant moments in life, which are still capable of giving a resource state (excellent mood) today, freeing ourselves from the negativity accumulated over the years and resting internally. This state is similar to meditation, which can immerse a person in a relaxed state, give a calm state and balance. The condition that every person needs. We all need to periodically plunge into this state, which can turn off the body from the everyday hustle and bustle, problems, the crazy rhythm of life, behind which we sometimes do not have time to feel all the charm of our life. The years go by, some generations are replaced by others, but each person during his life strives for one main goal- to return to the origins of yourself. All our life we ​​do nothing but forget ourselves. We are ruled by unnecessary stereotypes that often do not align with our inner rhythms. We want to live happily and with dignity, but we ourselves take someone else's life scenario and try to follow this path by someone else's steps. People strive for someone else's success, destiny, life, when they envy others. And we could develop ourselves and take care of our health, family, success.
• How to let go of the past, or how to let go of the situation? Let go of yourself. What does it mean?

1. Allow yourself to want to become happy person.
2. Forgive yourself for past failures and failures.
3. Forgive yourself for the mistakes you once made, today they don't matter to anyone except you.
4. Thank yourself for the mistakes and actions you have made in the past. Today you have everything to let go of unnecessary thoughts, beliefs, actions. Make up your mind, you will succeed.
5. It's never too late to let go of the past and become a happy person.

I wish you to let go of the past and live happily today, building on the experience and foundation of the past. May there always be as much light and warmth in your life as there is in your soul.

Relationships with your beloved man will fail if you attach too much importance to them. This is the law. If a crack has already appeared in feelings and relationships, then for the sake of their preservation it is worth lowering the importance of the desired, that is, letting go of the situation and not thinking about the bad. How to do it in practice, will tell "Popularly about health".

Why you can't think bad?

Quite recently, you were happy, love completely absorbed all nature, but now everything has changed - a chill, understatement, discontent, resentment appeared in the relationship. The situation is heating up every day, the gap is close. If you feel this, then it's time to stop thinking about the bad.

Negative thoughts will certainly materialize, that is, they turn into events that happen to us. Thinking about parting, you bring it closer. Experiences, according to the theory of reality transurfing, are pendulums that bring chaos into our life and prevent us from being happy. We feed their vibrations with our emotions. The more we think about the bad, worry, suffer, the more the destructive pendulum swings. If your goal is to maintain a relationship with a man, stop thinking about the bad, feeding the pendulum.

How to stop worrying and worrying if bad thoughts constantly come into your head? Use a simple but in an efficient way- talk to your chosen one. It may be possible to find out who is dissatisfied with what or to dispel doubts. If this option is not possible, write your experiences on a piece of paper, putting your energy into it, and then burn it. After that, it will certainly become easier, because bad thoughts will be destroyed before your eyes.

How to reduce importance in a relationship with a man?

Vadim Zeland recommends to reduce the importance of our desires so that they are fulfilled faster. This rule applies to any area of ​​life. Surely you have noticed that what we strongly desire is impatiently awaiting, in no hurry to be fulfilled, various obstacles arise, etc. If we attach too much importance to something, then most of the energy is spent on experiences, and therefore on swinging the destructive pendulum. It will never be possible to achieve the fulfillment of desire if the importance is too high. The same in a relationship with a man - impatience, irrepressible passion, too desire being close to him, possessing him will certainly lead to a deterioration in relations.

* You will die?
* Will you fall ill with an incurable disease?
* Will you feel calm?
* What will you do without this man?

Usually, after such tricky questions posed to oneself, it becomes obvious that a specific person is not so important, because life will continue without him, nothing will happen. Once you manage to realize that the main thing in your life is yourself, and not him, the importance in the relationship will decrease slightly. This will allow you to channel energy in the right direction - to maintain valuable relationships, and not swing harmful pendulums.

The same advice applies to women who are trying to find the man of their dreams. Longing desire and constant thoughts about where to find it will not lead to desired result, they will only get in the way. Thinking about the bad - about loneliness, for example, does not bode well either. They will certainly materialize. How to be? Focus on yourself by setting a goal to get married successfully. Having engaged in self-improvement, your appearance, you will not only be distracted from negative thoughts, but also let go of desire, reduce its importance. Then it will certainly come true.

How to let go of the situation in a relationship with a man?

But what if the relationship does not go well, and the man is about to leave? Let go of the situation. Let's give an example. Imagine that you grabbed a man by the throat, preventing him from even moving. Does this approach help to keep him?

On the contrary, this situation will lead to the fact that the victim begins to defend himself, to break free and to fight back. The same thing happens in relationships. Persuasion, persecution, restriction of freedom will have the opposite effect.

Wanting to improve relationships, it is worth showing love, but not putting pressure on your loved one, not limiting his freedom of action. Letting go of the situation, in other words, trusting the Universe, giving the solution to the issue, being sure that everything will turn out the most the best way... Having learned to let go of problems in relationships, you will become free from worries, resentments, disappointments, and everything in your life will turn out so that you will be happy.

What conclusions can be drawn from our discussion:

* Do not attach too much importance to relationships and loved ones.
* It is unacceptable to focus on the bad - on separation, fear of loneliness, misunderstanding, resentment.
* You need to learn to let go of the situation in a relationship with a man, trusting the Universe.

How to let go of the situation? This is a question that worries people who have experienced a difficult life situation and want to quickly find its solution.

A person seeking to understand how to learn to let go of a situation must first analyze their problem. You need to concentrate on it and take it apart, reflect on what specifically worries: guilt, unspokenness, hidden feelings (anger, anger, resentment).

A person trying to figure out how to let go of a situation should know: no matter how old this situation is, a year, a month or a couple of days, if it does not leave alone, then it makes sense for a person. A person living by past events will not be able to calmly continue to live and build the future.

To let go of the situation, you should think carefully and then decide what can be done now with this problem, which can produce results right now. The main thing is not to be idle, because this will drag on the situation, and letting it go will be even harder.

To let go of the situation, you need to take courage and do whatever is necessary to help let go of oppressive feelings, if earlier in the right moment the person was afraid, did not want to, did not dare to say or do what was right. It will be possible to let go of the problem when the person dares to do everything necessary for this.

Sometimes, in order to let go of a problem situation, you need to distract yourself from it. One should think about why, due to the current situation, a person cannot experience personal happiness, live a free life, is life really so monotonous that there is nothing to do except reproach himself.

You should not assume that life will get better, solely with the achievement of a specific goal, or if you are near a certain person... The thought that it is impossible to be happy without this will not allow a person to grow personally and develop further, all the more, negative thoughts will only stall a person. You need to think positively, believe that everything will turn out for the best, since time passes, and with it all feelings are smoothed out, anger passes, offenses seem not so serious.

To change life, correct mistakes, let go of the situation, you should be in an elevated good mood, because a person is trying to change everything for the better, and therefore to a positive result. Optimism is not an indicator of a person's frivolity, as some think, it allows him to be firm in intentions, strengths, and therefore to understand well his main goal and task.

Many are unable to let go of the situation, they live by it, feed on the sensations that they experience, scrolling through certain moments in their heads each time. These people are addicted to external factors and are therefore unable to let go of their situation and find a solution.

Of course, a problem situation can be depressing, so you should allow yourself to be happy. To do this, you should sincerely forgive yourself for failures and past mistakes, let them go. It is necessary to realize that mistakes or actions have brought experience. It is worth letting go of the past and starting to live again, relying on the foundation of past mistakes, letting in the light and filling your life with it.
How to let go of a situation - psychology

During a showdown, people become very emotional, strong feelings cover their heads, and people no longer find out, but prove each one of their innocence, not hearing the interlocutor and often pronouncing thoughts that appear in their heads, which the individuals themselves do not give an account of. This is how problems are born that become more significant than the original ones.

How to learn to let go of the situation and stop thinking about the situation all the time for a certain time to refresh your thoughts. The longer you think and "change your mind" the situation, the more complex and confusing it will seem. Remembering the various details of the conflict, the person will become more and more angry or sad. This will aggravate the situation and will definitely not help to let it go and fix it.

When emotions subside, people realize that they have said too much. Therefore, it is better to initially try to prevent this moment. This requires strong self-control and mindfulness to sense when the situation is starting to escalate and to stop in time.

Following how a little abstracted from problem situation that you want to let go, you need to look at it in a new way. In a good way there will be a replay of the situation in the mind, from the side of the observer, in order to analyze well his own words and emotions, and the words of the second side.

To let go of a conflict situation, you need to understand the motives of the interlocutor, which he was guided by when he behaved hostilely. Perhaps he then had personality problems that he was worried about, so he was angry and poured all his negativity on you. He could even be tired, sick or anxious, so you should not immediately take his malicious statements or actions on yourself.

How to let go of the situation and not think about it in this case? You should imagine yourself standing in the interlocutor's place. It can be assumed that it is also hard for him and he is worried, because he himself did not assume that the situation would accept such an outcome.

Forgiveness often helps in letting go of the situation and moving on with no offense. If it is difficult to immediately talk to a person, you can mentally imagine asking for forgiveness. It is necessary to present him so vividly, as if he is now in front of your eyes. It doesn't matter who first started the quarrel, and if a person is worried about the situation that has happened and he wants to let it go, then certain steps need to be taken. It is worth arousing the most sincere feelings in oneself, apologizing from the heart, saying that he also forgives and does not hold evil and resentment.

It is necessary to do this until a feeling of lightness and freedom overtakes, it should bring with it relaxation and tranquility. When you succeed in reaching this state, you will be able to let go of the situation.

This method is good for letting go of the situation, contributing to the resumption of relations after the conflict and release from negative feelings. After "trial" forgiveness in absentia, you should dare to meet or talk on the phone, try to strike up a conversation, ask for forgiveness already "live". It is worth doing this in order to finally let go of the situation.

How to let go of the situation - advice from a psychologist:

It is necessary to discard erroneous beliefs. Many, by their actions, spoil their personal lives. You should not hold on to old principles and beliefs that interfere with adequate contact with people and be afraid to let them go.

People value principles so much that they make critical mistakes because of them, part with loved ones. It is worth admitting to yourself that no one else is to blame for this. If everyone points out to the individual that one cannot be so principled in a relationship, then one should be less categorical. It is required to admit that we made a mistake and let go of beliefs and categorical principles, to be easier, then the world will change.
How to let go of a situation and a person from the heart and thoughts

If a person goes through a situation for a long time, through a person's departure, it means that he has complexes, he is indecisive, has too low self-esteem, experiences a feeling of guilt and resentment.

To let go of the situation, you need to get rid of these qualities and allow yourself a happy life.

What does it mean to let go of the situation and let go of the person? You need to understand that letting go means living, without memories of a person, thanking for a new experience, putting an end to it, if nothing good is already "sticking together." We must learn to live anew, fully. It is necessary to work out own feelings, and not just put up with the doomed and live on with gloomy thoughts.

The negative experiences that have accumulated inside, as a result of parting, must find a way out, so the first thing to do is to let them go - cry, do it once, but very thoroughly, so that you feel empty inside and no longer want to cry when remembering these experiences.

How to let go of the situation in a relationship with a man? It is required to consciously evaluate how this relationship proceeded, throw off your "rose-colored glasses", look at this relationship from a different angle. Of course, every woman wants the relationship with a man to be the most ideal, but some quarrels, quarrels and misunderstandings still occur. Therefore, it is worth recalling these unpleasant times, not idealizing the "former" as the only and best.

If a woman is worried about how to let go of the situation in a relationship with a man, you can use one psychotherapeutic method. All disturbing thoughts and disturbing emotions should be expressed by writing a letter. Allow yourself a free flow of thoughts, you need to express what is painful. This technique contributes to the fact that the person gets from the inside all the hidden feelings that do not give rest, do not allow to experience joy. In this way, she can let go of all emotions, and, moreover, no one will be offended.

It is necessary to address a specific person, write what you want to express, without thinking about whether it is good or bad, not to hide, not to conceal. But sending it is undesirable, since it will not bring anything good, here the meaning of the method is different. After finishing writing a letter, it must be destroyed, torn, burned or thrown away, and let go of exciting thoughts with it.

To let go of a person, it is worth removing all the objects that remind him of him (things, gifts), so as not to cry later, remembering the lost moments. Regrets must be dropped. If earlier you had to worry about your partner, devote less time to your needs, now you can become more egocentric, think more about yourself, personal needs that never had the opportunity to be realized once. Find new grounds for joy. This will help you let go of the situation, and drive your sad and negative thoughts away.

In order not to feel lonely, it is worth enlisting the support of friends, they will find necessary words, you just have to listen to them a little.

To forget the past will help the understanding that it is necessary to organize your future, to dream, even without a specific person, it will definitely be.

Almost every individual has experienced the feeling unrequited love... In order to more easily let go of a person from thoughts, you need to realize that since he has dropped the offer of love, then you should have pride and you should not constantly impose on him, and again experience rejection, which makes you even more upset every time. It is required to develop self-esteem in oneself. If a person found out about feelings, but did not respond to them immediately, then you should take a neutral position. It is necessary to let go of expectations so that they do not accidentally collide with reality, which is completely different from what a person imagines. It is important to be a little philosopher, to think that there is a time for everything, and also to reflect that it is impossible for one person to belong to another, if he does not have mutual feelings for him.

In order to let go of the situation in a relationship, you should not idealize the chosen one at all, because he, like all people, has shortcomings, so you should objectively evaluate them and focus on them. Over time, it will begin to seem that he is not as good as he seemed at first. It is necessary to stop all contacts and connections with him, the less something reminds of him, the faster it will turn out to let him go.

The human psyche has the ability to recreate in memory pleasant memories of life, which are able to give a person a good state, release from anger and resentment, accumulated negative over the years of life, which allows you to mentally rest. This state resembles a state of meditation, which plunges the individual into relaxation, gives balance and serenity, which is very necessary for everyone, especially when a person has problems and intends to let them go, leaving peace in his soul.

To be a healthy, strong, more balanced person, to be able to let go of the situation, you need to regularly plunge into such a relaxed state. Disconnect the body from all the everyday fuss, problems and conflicts, let go of all the accumulated bad and disturbing thoughts about an unworthy person.

Almost every individual often forgets about himself while worrying about others. Thus, he is governed by erroneous stereotypes that almost always diverge from internal rhythms. It is worth worrying more about yourself, personal health and monitoring how others contribute to your life, then if they do not bring sincere joy with happiness, then it is better to let them go from your heart.
How to let go of a relationship situation

In life, there are various situations in a relationship that need to be forgotten. For example, if a partner betrayed or cheated and does not come out to forgive this person, then you should forget and let him go. Didn't he do enough in the relationship to make it his punishment?

To make it easier to let go of the situation in the relationship, you should take into account the available facts, everything that previously happened and is happening. For example, you said goodbye to your partner, even if without scandals, and a little later you start to think how bad it is without him, but he himself does not think to return, then the conclusion itself suggests itself - to let go and live on without dwelling on him.

Once a person begins to think again, to remember him, but if such thoughts leave, then the individual will see that it is still possible to live without him. You should give yourself a clear direction to let go of the situation, not to remember your ex. Obsession with the past can interfere with creation happy family, in building new plans. The sooner a person understands this, the faster he can create a new life.

Many individuals believe it is right that after breaking up a relationship it is worth getting rid of feelings, but by doing this they pull themselves back into this love even more. You need to allow yourself these feelings for a while, but set aside time for them, not cry all the time, but do, as always, your urgent matters, but cry out, swear at the appointed time. Thus, a person learns self-control.

If he knows for sure that he allows himself to remember a person at the set time, he will eventually get tired of it. Throughout the day, he is engaged in business, accordingly, he cannot break away from extraneous thoughts, and in the evening, after all the chores at home, he will want to psychologically relax, and not grieve. Since your ex is better off without you, then you too will become a happy person without him.

When a person tries to solve a problem, he tries different options, but he cannot do it, then it is best to let go of the situation, i.e. let it go by itself, let it resolve by itself. It often happens that while the individual is not fussing, his feelings are smoothed out, and he forgets the thoughts that disturb him earlier. Therefore, time is considered the best doctor. You should stop controlling the situation and observe the current situation.

Having got to the bottom of it, assessing the situation, you can reveal the relationship and make you understand yourself - these failed relationships did not have a future. If it had happened differently, then they would have ended differently, it is logical after all. So, it means it is worth letting go of the situation with ease.

If you cannot let go of the situation on your own, then it is worth enlisting the support of a psychologist who will help resolve urgent problems and difficulties, teach you how to cope with them.

A loving individual, not only of himself, will not limit anyone and adjust his behavior to fit his framework of beliefs. Because no one owes anything to anyone, even if at first he made a promise to love forever. It was just that one person gave importance to these promises, and another said them, but was not going to stick to. You should not cling to a person, and to something that does not fit with the flow of your life, because it is fraught with big problems, you better let him go. We must learn to keep balance, because everything flows and changes.

Letting go of the situation does not give fear, it is also worth getting rid of it. You need to accept the truth and be grateful for it. Letting go with appreciation for the experience in the relationship, which was accompanied by tears and laughter, which helped to grow internally. To forget a painful memory, you need to accept what is now, what was, to realize your capabilities. You need to find the strength to accept all life changes, trust your intuition and evaluate your achievements. Any experience is invaluable, only understanding this can you continue your confident successful path.

When problems arise, it is always a test. This is a kind of test for readiness for life changes and risk. If the situation changes, you should not be afraid of it, and take steps back, you should go exclusively forward. Because life is moving forward and you need to let go of the old.

Asking the question of how to let go of the situation in a relationship, you must tell yourself that you should stop clinging to them, and live your future. When a person manages to forget about the past, then in the soul, where significant relationships used to take place, an emptiness is formed, and in order not to feel it so strongly, it is necessary to fill it with communication. Make new acquaintances, reunite with former friends and with relatives, and, closing from the rest, a person will feel unhappy.

Have you ever got into a situation when a “wise” acquaintance in response to your emotional speech told you: “Let go of the situation and everything will work out ... you shouldn't keep everything under control…”? Probably many have heard this phrase at least once, but few understand what this omnipotent "let go of the situation" means and how it looks in practice.

Freedom or a sign of weakness? ...

To understand how to let go of the situation, you must first understand what it is for and why you should not try to control it.

- There is always an option to fight or to leave everything in the hands of fate. But does this mean that letting go of the situation, we give up, give up what we want?

- Not at all!

We simply move "from the stage to the auditorium", where we will be able to live the situation more comfortably and painlessly.

It is by moving away from the details (emotions) that we gain the opportunity to look at the whole picture, to notice the right opportunity that has turned up - the necessary turn of fate that will lead to happiness.

It's not about the momentary joy of achieving a small goal, when the mind and titanic efforts managed to drive everything into the usual or desired framework, but about the state of "full-fledged long-term happiness."

Observation is not meaningless, it implies our participation and actions, but not "chaotic exhaustion", but correct from the point of view of the Universe.

Why let go of the situation?

Being inside the situation, we are immersed in a desire to change something, rearrange, forge, dispute, criticize or abandon immediately as unacceptable. This happens due to the fact that we initially set a certain format of what we want, try to keep it under control, and all the "puzzles of circumstances" that are not included in this framework cause irritation. But these "unacceptable" disgusting circumstances are nothing more than the idea of ​​the Universe.

We all want Of true love and True Happiness, but we refuse the path along which the Perfect Universe, in its essence, leads us.

It turns out that dissatisfaction with the circumstances is a rejection of the Universal laws and dissatisfaction with the Higher Forces (everyone is free to mean by this the Universe, God, the Absolute, etc. according to their convictions). Anyone who is initially considered uninteresting, stupid and useless will treat you in a similar way, so why Higher power should ultimately lead to Happiness if there is no trust?

Letting go of the situation, not to be confused with inertia and lack of initiative, a person gets the opportunity to go through the door (or at least through the window, as the most persistent and stubborn), and not bang his head against the wall. Of course, the inner voice will demand to keep the situation under control and not let go, but it is worth taking the risk and it turns out that the world has not only not collapsed, but there may have been changes for the better.

What is the limit of experiences and anxieties?

Of course, you can immerse yourself in emotions. We do not test them in vain. And each of our experiences - a litmus test in the chemistry of life - draws attention to weak points, giving us the opportunity to work on ourselves. But lingering negative emotions can knock you out of balance so much that depression sets in.

The time to let go of the situation has come when:

Thoughts revolve around a certain point, causing negative emotions

There is no more strength, but there is an obsessive need to do something

The general condition is restless and interferes with living and enjoying life

This means your inner "susanin" -mind has brought you into the "swampy forest" and is not going to help you get out. It is precisely such cases that require you to immediately let go of the situation and stop keeping everything under your control.

How to let go of the situation

1. We switch to let go of the situation.

One of the most difficult stages is letting go of the situation when it has grown together with you. It is imperative to find something to do that will take "Susanin" in another matter, so as not to go even further into the forest. This can be anything from shopping and movie theaters to cleaning the house and washing the windows. A distracting maneuver is obliged to distract, so that during it "thinking" is strictly prohibited.

If you still can't let go of the situation, then you can begin to pronounce mentally every action that you perform in this moment... Concentrate on what is happening around: mentally describe the details, consider everything that can be counted (you can count breathing), taste and analyze your feelings, etc.

2. Determine how this frustration relates to your “global” ultimate goal.

If you went through the first step relatively well, then some freshness of brain activity is assured. Now let's take a detached view of the situation that you want to keep under control.

The existence of flows in the course of options frees the mind from two overwhelming burdens: the need to rationally solve problems and constantly monitor the situation. Provided, of course, that he allows himself to be set free. For the mind to allow this, it needs a more or less rational explanation. As you noticed, there is a lot of irrational in this book that does not agree with the position of common sense. And although the purpose of Transurfing is not to explain the structure of the surrounding world, one way or another I constantly have to substantiate all these conclusions that are shocking to the mind.

The two aforementioned burdens have been placed on the mind since childhood. We were constantly taught: “Think with your head! Are you aware of what you are doing? Explain your action to me! Learn the lessons, only the mind can achieve something in life. Your stupid head! Are you going to think or not? " Educators and circumstances blinded a “soldier” out of the mind, ready at any moment to find an explanation, to give an answer to the question posed, to assess the situation, to make a decision, to keep control over what was happening. The mind is trained to act expediently from the point of view of common sense.

Do not just think that I am so overstated that I am ready to completely brush aside common sense. On the contrary, common sense is minimal. the necessary set rules on how to behave in the world around you in order to survive. But the mistake of reason is that it follows this code of rules literally and too straightforwardly. An obsession with common sense prevents the mind from looking around and seeing what is not consistent with these rules.

And there are a lot of discrepancies with common sense in the world. Confirmation of this is the inability of the mind to explain everything and save a person from problems and troubles. There is a very simple way out of this situation: rely on the flow of options. The rationale for this is also very simple: the flows contain exactly what the mind is looking for - expediency. As you know, flows follow the path of least resistance. Reason seeks to reason sensibly and logically, relying on causal relationships. But the imperfection of the mind does not allow it to accurately navigate in the world around it and find the only correct solutions.

Nature is initially perfect, therefore there is more purposefulness and logic in streams than in the most wise reasoning... And no matter how convinced the mind is that it thinks sensibly, it will still be wrong. However, the mind will make mistakes in any case, but much less if it moderates its zeal and, if possible, allows problems to be resolved without its active intervention. This is called letting go of the situation. In other words, you need to loosen your grip, reduce control, not interfere with the flow, give more freedom to the world around you.

You already know that putting pressure on the world is not only useless, but also harmful. By disagreeing with the flow, the mind creates excess potentials. Transurfing offers a completely different path. First, we ourselves create obstacles by pumping up excess potentials. If you lower the importance, the obstacles will disappear by themselves. Secondly, if the obstacle does not lend itself, one must not fight with it, but simply bypass it. This will help guide signs.

The trouble with the mind is that it tends to perceive events that do not fit into its scenario as obstacles. The mind usually plans everything in advance, calculates it, and if then the unexpected happens, it begins to actively fight it in order to adjust the events to its scenario. As a result, the situation is further aggravated. Of course, the mind is not able to perfectly plan events. This is where you need to give more freedom to the flow. The current is not interested in breaking your destiny. Again, this is impractical. Fate breaks the mind with its unreasonable actions.

Expediency, from the point of view of reason, is when everything goes according to the planned scenario. Anything that is inconsistent is perceived as an unwanted problem. And the problem must be solved, for which the mind is taken with great zeal, giving rise to new problems. Thus, the mind itself piles up a lot of obstacles on its way.

Think for yourself: when are people happy, satisfied, satisfied with themselves? When everything goes according to plan. Any deviation from the script is perceived as a failure. Inner importance prevents the mind from accepting the possibility of rejection. The mind thinks: “After all, I planned everything in advance, calculated it. I know better what is good for me and what is bad. I am intelligent. " Life often gives people gifts that they are reluctant to accept because they did not plan them. "I didn't want such a toy!" The reality is that we rarely get exactly the planned toys, which is why we all go around so gloomy and displeased. Now imagine how much more joyful life will become if the mind reduces its importance and recognizes the right for deviations in the script!

Everyone can regulate the level of their own happiness. The lower bar of this level is very high for most people, so they do not consider themselves happy. I do not urge you to be content with what you have. A dubious formula like “if you want to be happy, be happy” is not suitable for Transurfing. You will receive your toy, but we'll talk about that later. Now we are talking about how to avoid trouble and reduce the number of problems.

It is the reluctance of the mind to allow deviations in its script that prevents it from taking advantage ready-made solutions in a stream of options flow. The manic tendency of the mind to keep everything under control turns life into a continuous struggle with the flow. How, how can he allow the flow to go on its own course, not obeying his will? Here we come to the very main mistake mind. The mind seeks to control not its own movement with the flow, but the flow itself. This is one of the main reasons for all kinds of problems and troubles.

An expedient flow, moving along the path of least resistance, cannot create problems and obstacles - they are generated by a stupid mind. Activate the Overseer and observe, for at least one day, how the mind tries to control the flow. You are offered something, but you refuse, they are trying to communicate something - you wave it off. Someone expresses their point of view, and you argue, someone does it in their own way - instructing him on the right path. You are offered a solution, but you object. You wait for one thing, but you get another and express your dissatisfaction. Someone interferes - and you are furious. Something goes against your script - and you rush into a frontal attack to direct the current in the right direction. Maybe for you personally, everything happens a little differently, but there is still some truth. Right?

Now try to loosen your grip on your control and give more freedom to the flow. I am not suggesting that you agree with everyone and accept everything. Just change tactics: shift your center of gravity from control to observation. Strive to observe rather than control. Do not rush to dismiss, object, argue, prove your own, interfere, manage, criticize. Give the situation a chance to resolve without your active intervention or opposition. You will be, if not dumbfounded, then surprised for sure. And a completely paradoxical thing will happen. By giving up control, you gain even more control over the situation than you had before. An outside observer always has a greater advantage than a direct participant. This is why I keep repeating: rent yourself out.

When you look back, you will see that your control was going against the tide. Others' suggestions made sense. There was no point in arguing. Your intervention was unnecessary. What you saw as obstacles were not at all. Problems are already being resolved safely without your knowledge. What you didn’t get as planned is not so bad at all. Accidentally thrown phrases really do have power. Your mental discomfort served as a warning. You have not wasted extra energy and you are satisfied. This is the splendid gift of the current to the mind, which I spoke about at the beginning.

And, of course, in addition to all that has been said, let us recall our "friends". Pendulums interfere with movement in accordance with the flow. At every step they arrange provocations for a person, forcing him to pound his hands on the water. The presence of a flow in the flow does not suit the pendulums for the simple reason that the flow itself goes in the direction of minimum energy consumption. The energy spent by a person to fight the current is used to create excess potentials and to feed the pendulums. The only control worth paying attention to is controlling the level of internal and external importance. Remember that it is the importance that prevents the mind from letting go of the situation.

In many cases, letting go of the situation is much more effective and useful than insisting on your own. The desire of people for self-affirmation from childhood gives rise to the habit of proving their significance. From here comes the tendency, harmful in all respects, to prove one’s innocence at all costs. This desire creates excess potential and conflicts with the interests of other people. Often people try to prove their case even in cases where the verdict in one direction or the other does not directly affect their interests.

For some people, the feeling of inner importance is so exaggerated that they tend to insist on their own in any trifles. Internal importance grows into a mania to keep everything under control: "I will prove to everyone that I am right, no matter what it takes." Bad habit... It makes life very difficult, first of all, for the defender of truth himself.

If your interests are not greatly affected by this, feel free to let go of the situation and give others the right to pound their hands in the water. If you do this consciously, it will immediately become easy on your soul, even easier than if you prove your point of view. You will be satisfied with the fact that you have risen a step higher: you did not, as usual, defend your significance, but acted as wise parent with unreasonable children.

Let's give one more example. Excessive zeal at work is just as harmful as carelessness. Let's say you settled on prestigious job you have dreamed of for a long time. You make high demands on yourself, because you think that you must show yourself one hundred percent. This is correct, but if you get down to business too zealous, most likely, you will not withstand the stress, especially if the task is difficult. V best case your work will be ineffective, and at worst, you will have a nervous breakdown. You may even be led to the false belief that you cannot handle the job.

Another option is possible. You develop a vigorous activity and thereby violate the established order of things. There seems to be a lot of room for improvement at work, and you are absolutely confident that you are doing the right thing. However, if your innovations entail a disruption to the usual way of life of your employees, do not expect anything good. This is the case when the initiative is punishable. You are put in a slow but calm and balanced current, and you are banging your hands in the water with all your might, trying to swim faster.

Well, now it turns out that not a word can be said against and it is generally not worth sticking out? Well, not really that tough. We need to approach this issue from a mercantile point of view. You can only be indignant and scolded what directly interferes with you, and only if your criticism can change something for the better. Never criticize what has already happened, what cannot be changed. For the rest, the principle of movement with the flow should not be applied literally, agreeing with everything and everyone, but only by moving the center of gravity from control to observation. Watch more and do not rush to control. A sense of proportion will come to you on its own, you don't have to worry about it.