How can you develop a sense of self-esteem and strengthen weakened respect? Oligarch can not be.

Moscow, Oct 17 - RIA Novosti. The sense of self-esteem does not depend on his material well-being: the janitor can be much higher than the oligarch. However, for people with disabilities, the opportunity to work and make money allows you to feel a full-fledged member of society, consider the surveyed RIA news experts and psychologists.

World dignity day, which is held annually on October 17 in more than 50 countries around the world, is intended to draw public attention to the education of sense of leadership and self-esteem. In Russia, this event is held for the second time and it is assumed that special events for this day will be held on educational sites in Moscow, St. Petersburg and Ulan-Ude.

Oligarch can not be ...

Each person has a sense of self-esteem, the only difference is that all it is different, the psychotherapist Konstantin Olkhova noted. "One of the main determinants of the size of a feeling of dignity may be the size of the vehicle for which a person is ready to go or is not ready to go and considers it not worthy of himself. Some consider unworthy to humiliate and offend other people, while others believe that they should not be considered with the opinion. Alien people, "said Olchova.

According to him, the feeling of dignity is determined by the education of a person. At the janitor, a sense of self-esteem can be much higher than, for example, the oligarch. "I think that the material side plays a secondary role here. Another thing, if a person, for example, has brought up since childhood so that a sense of self-esteem can have only rich, then poverty for this person will have a defining factor," the expert believes.

Olkhova believes to raise the right sense of self-esteem in humans, it is important not just to love the child, but also respect his views. "Too often we forget that the child is an independent person, with his problems and joy. And the more we respect our own children, the more the child has a feeling of self-esteem. If the child sees that they are respecting him, to the rest of people. More often this forms a sense of self-esteem, which is not infrinning the feeling of other people, but supporting himself and others, "said Olkhova.

Decent education

One of the main life lines in the development of the child is his relationship with his mother. In this relationship from the earliest childhood, either basic confidence in the world is born, or distrust, the vice-president of the Russian society of psychologists, Academician of the Russian Academy of Education, Professor Alexander Asmolov, believes. "Any dignity is based on trust in peace and faith in yourself," he said.

He also believes that in the child it is necessary from the earliest childhood to raise responsibility for the actions that he performs. "One love without the division of responsibility will not lead to the formation of self-esteem attitudes," said Professor.

A child must learn from childhood not only to compare, but also learn to rejoice at the people around him, a psychologist explained.

"We know that children aged 5 to 7 years old can sufficiently empathize with other children when they happen misfortune. However, very weak children know how to rejoice at other children. Not accidentally psychologists say: only angels can be convicted." - added a psychologist.

Independence and independence

According to the regional project manager public organization Disabled "Perspective" Mikhail Novikova, a sense of self-esteem, a person acquires when he feels independent and independent.

"A disabled person cannot in Russia to fully feel independent, but it is independence - the basis of self-esteem. Unfortunately, there are a lot of barriers to people with disabilities with which they are constantly forced to face. Always need to look for Who will help: climb the steps, go down from the border, get into the building. Constantly you have to look for someone's help. And it hits the dignity, by pride, "says Novikov.

The Executive Director of the Regional Public Organization "Center for Medical Pedagogy" Nikolay Mortin agrees with him.

"The level of own merit of each particular person depends on the state of society. There is no longer so important, there is a disabilities or not," he is sure.

"It is important to find your lesson in life. Nothing raises the feeling of self-esteem, as an opportunity to earn money. When you can invite mom to a restaurant and pay for dinner, you rose not only in her eyes, but in our own too," says Novikov.

He also noted that the development of inclusive education, when children with disabilities can learn from their healthy peers, allow children with disabilities to fully realize their potential. Specialized correctional schools and boarding schools, according to him, can lead to the suppression of self-esteem in a child.

"Children in the boarding school are obliged to listen to educators in all, follow the schedule, do not stop. And most importantly, their own opinion is not perceived by anyone," he is sure.

An important role, according to him, in the formation of a person playing and upbringing.

"Recently witnessed an unpleasant scene. Mom brought her son with a cerebral ceremony for restoring classes, and I was struck by her conversation with the child. She said to him:" Get used to us, now I crawl out all life "... the child is crying, she is with him Surov and constantly Reminds him about disability. This, of course, is wrong, "says Novikov.

If you are sad and hurt from any criticism, even comic if your goals have not yet been fulfilled, not due to lack of time, but because of the laziness, the lack of desire or motivation, then you urgently need to work on a sense of self-essential .

Lack of self-esteem

What is it? This is who you are and what you go. For one person it is important to have a car and he considers you wrong due to the fact that you have no. But you do not need a car and you just ignore his words, as you understand that this is not your choice and you are more important to eat correctly or go on the journey, to what you and make money. Or another example, girls at school want to go to a disco or walk a lesson, you do not want problems and stay at home or in lessons, because you are more important than good relationships with parents or excellent ratings. And the opinion of the friends will be attributed, because they love you not for obedience, but for your personality, individuality.

A similar reaction indicates the presence of a sense of self-esteem, if you exchange it on trifles, pay all the attention to others, because there are few personal worries or they seem to be not important, then it's time to think about yourself and your self-esteem. And first thing forget about the opinions of otherswhether you are used by the rest, as you relate to what they advise, where they are pushing or what they agitate, you are you, it's time to deal with yourself.

What kind of person you see yourself

There is just just turn off the TV, computer, close the comics about superheroes and focus on personal desires and ideas about how you see yourself. Make a list of all qualities that come to mind not only positive, but also negative. What do you want to see in yourself, and from what you need to get rid of.

Many advise to record these qualities in the form of hieroglyphs or characters, others just keep in the notebook, someone, in general, does tattoos, but, in fact, this list has only one destination - the memory of what you have, what qualities you have There is and what you are striving for. How do you remember your business, you can write a picture, music, a song for these qualities, to make your own "chemical" table of elements, in your body and soul. The basis only should not change when you will be bad when you fall in spirit or not cope with problems, you need these qualities, this small list can be seen, and, looking at him, you will repel the spirit again and continue to fight for your Ideas and goals.

Evaluation of the person

Which of your desired qualities are already in you, but what is lacking and, of course, is more superfluous? Do not hurry to apply to self-vaccination, it will always have time, it is better to soberly appreciate itself, without sticks or humiliation. Often people are detaining their own capabilities, although they can make a lot. There are three important momentsthat you do not need to forget for a second:

Do not exaggerate. If you can't, it means that it is not yours, it makes no sense to wade into the "crane" if it is satisfied with the "Tit in the hands".
Do not mean your own strength. Man is the hardest creature on the planet. All that you need it to believe in yourself and go to your goals through laziness, fear, and sometimes lack of hope.
Do not shove yourself. Some qualities that like you may not taste with public opinion. But you are not a politician for whom public opinion is very important. Work on a sense of self-esteem is closely related to the understanding that people are individual with their peculiarities are incomprehensible to others. These qualities are distinguished by a person and often attract to it desirable or unwanted attention. There is nothing wrong or wrong with this - this is the creation of a person, what it should be, and what she wants to see it.

Work on yourself

The principle "from Monday" does not work here. If you decide to work on yourself, return yourself or acquire a sense of self-esteem start from the moment when we decided, not from tomorrow, when you get a salary, the husband will return or leave, get a job or get fired and so on. Today for you the most suitable moment to start living for yourself, put priorities, put life goals And self-defined with those who you want and what can be done for this now.

If you do not like discipline, make a list of what should do every day. At first it will be the easiest, desire and motivation, bright enough, I want everything immediately. But after a couple of weeks, you can feel fatigue, for example, from equal sports exercises, or constant cooking, cleaning, even the words "I am the most charming and attractive", work will be bored, food will become fresh, and daily walks and the study of French will turn into torture.

This is a natural state, do not be afraid and even more so do not forget in watching TV, because you are all tired. But you can take a little break and diversify your weekdays. Turn on the inspirational film, and start thinking about how to replace the exercises to others, diversify walks or learning language and so on. For example, if you used to learn French rules, now download several applications on the phone and learn it so, walk outside the city or with a camera, prepare food from one favorite vegetable or meat and like that. In other words, turn the ordinary in a special, not similar to what was.

Allow yourself not only to work, but also rest. Your body is your temple if the targets require large physical or emotional loads, and you just will blindly fulfill them, fatigue will be too fast for yourself. Therefore, do not forget to eat right, sleep and take care of health so that your body will help you in self-affirmation, and did not bother.
Do not make others. Let you see in another person a quality that would also like to get, but this is just one quality, otherwise this person may be unrestricted with your ideals, and the path passed to them can be too cool and thorny for you. Listen only to myself throwing egoistic, not paying attention to attractive and famous, personalities who have conquered history or television screens. Let your path begins with yourself, and not with people whose life is known to you only, on the one hand.

Dignity - moral and moral category, meaning respect and self-esteem human personality. Dignity The inalienable property of a person as a higher value belonging to him no matter how he himself and the surrounding people perceive and evaluate his personality. The dignity is one of the intangible benefits belonging to a person from birth, it is inalienable and indescribable.
Big Law Dictionary

Dignity - the ability to respect not only other people, but also themselves.
Dignity is a sense of self-esteem that does not need any evidence.
Dignity is the ability to remain "at height" for any, even the most unfavorable, circumstances.

Advantages of dignity

Dignity gives respect - to yourself. Only one who respects himself can respect and others.
The dignity gives confidence - in its own heartful forces and volitional qualities.
The dignity gives freedom - from criticism and maliciousness of the inhabitants.
The dignity provides a choice - the higher the person appreciates itself, the more potential opportunities for the application of forces and talents.

Manifestations of dignity in everyday life

Debt execution. Performance of debt - in front of the homeland, before parents, before children, military debt; Debt in the most common sense is a sign of a decent person.
Judicial system. "Claim about the protection of honor and dignity" - this wording in last years It is becoming increasingly popular. Only one who realizes their dignity is capable of protecting its civil dignity.
Competition. In sports, a person often has to overcome obstacles, overcome physical discomfort. To withstand all the tests, without losing the face, a person who has a sense of self-esteem.
Extreme situations. Man saving people in case of fire, explosion, in any other extreme situation, manifests itself as a person worthy.
Charity. A decent person will not miss the opportunity to quietly, without protruding his own "I", to help those who really need help.
The willingness to come true for the benefit of others - manifestation of human dignity.

How to develop dignity

Dignity is a combination moral qualities, worthy of respect for both the owner of them and the outside. A sense of self-esteem is a man's debt in front of him and must be present at each person from birth. If a person does not feel his own dignity, it is possible to develop it in only one way - acting in every situation as a worthy person would do.
Debt execution - not only in a broad sense, but in the sense of themselves in specific situation obligations - will allow you to evaluate a person as having dignity.
Sports. Fighting (both physical and spiritual) with severe sports shell Or with heavy loads forms a person with respect for himself. Respect for yourself is the manifestation of self-esteem.
The acquisition of knowledge. With the acquisition of all new knowledge, a person appears an increasingly reliable platform for the development of self-esteem.
Household relations. Not encouraging and not allowing the derogatory treatment of it from the outside of the people around the people gains self-esteem.
Controversy. Training in the controversy, a person acquires self-confidence and, consequently, self-esteem.

Golden mean

Self-use | Full absence of self-esteem

Dignity

Narcissism, narcissism | Excessive love and respect for yourself

Winged expressions about dignity

A decent person is not the one who has no deficiencies, and the one who has dignity. - Vasily Klyuchevsky - Dignity is quiet. - Lakskaya proverb - a decent husband always tries to be impartial, not to give the values \u200b\u200bdifficult to minimize things and not to listen to fruitless teachings. - Lao Tzu - the candle light does not fall on its base; The dignity of a person is unnoticed for his loved ones. - Kazakh proverb - the dignity of each person depends on how he shows itself in his actions. - Adolf background Bookgeh - Mark Tully Cicero / About duties. About old age. About friendship Audiobook, gathered by the late works of Cicero. You will hear his reasoning about a decent life, about what a person should come to the end of life. Loule Vilma / Remain man or dignity In his book, Loule Vilma examines life as spiritual pathwhere a person send tests. Staying honest, merciful, preserving the dignity of life, a person reaches spiritual and physical health.

A person who confident in its own power, aware of his self-relief, looks significant and in the eyes of others. It comes to the elusive energy, it is attractive and attracts others like a magnet \\. Why is this happening? Everything is very simple: such a person has a sense of self-esteem and unshakable faith in their capabilities.

Often, with the concept of "self-esteem", the term "self-esteem and a healthy" I-concept "is put on one level, but there is a difference between them. Self-esteem implies internal sensations of a person. The presence of self-esteem shows that not only the individual himself is aware of its significance, but also the people around him. Let's consider signs of a person who has self-esteem:

He causes respectful attitude to himself, and behaves deserved himself. Showing high demands on the other, it requires the same behavior and from himself. A person with a sense of self-esteem is distinguished by tidiness in clothes, calm, lack of dishonest actions, good upbringing and manners, a sense of freedom. He is a rush knows his personal borders and does not allow anyone to violate them.
We are not talking about pride or egoism. Gordiny is a sense of superiority over others when others are nothing compared to the pride. A person with a sense of self-esteem is not self-affected by any account. He is aware of his dignity and is sense of satisfaction from the presence of something - individual qualities, achievements, success, skills and skills. Complete adoption of yourself, plus awareness of the value of self without infringement of the rights of other people - all this implies the concept of dignity.
This feeling can also be characterized as the awareness of its significance revealing, for example, in respect of itself. A decent person does not compare himself with anyone else, but only with him. He understands that he is not perfect and strives for the achievement of success, is capable of self-development and personal growth. Such a person is tuned to the desire to achieve excellent results in any case for which it takes.
A decent man has inner world. He is assembled, reliable and decisive. You can rely on it. It distinguishes the ability to keep the word and be mandatory in affairs. Next to him and other people feel calm and confident. He does not humiliate those who are weaker and does not enter into the strengths of this world.
A person can worry inside, but remain calm outwardly, knows how to restrain himself with any unforeseen circumstances. His thoughts do not "dance", they are structured, its actions are thought out and behavior decisively.
Valuable and confident man is not worried about trifles. He does not compete with anyone, does not seek to be the best and first in everything. He knows how to say "no", does not go to the trail of the crowd, does not explain and does not justify his own actions.
He is independent of others. He himself knows what to do and is responsible for his choice. It comes from our own views. He is self-sufficient and does not try to please others.
Such an internal position also causes the corresponding behavior: a person knows how he may behave himself, and how people should behave next to him and in relation to him. Invalid behavior immediately stops, and the relationship with those who can be systematically interrupted in relation to it.

Why is it important to have a feeling of dignity?

List the main reasons why it is important to have a feeling of self-esteem:

A person, full of faith in herself, causes both such feelings. He is reliable, knows how to navigate in any situation, he wants to listen to him, he wants to go. He is respected by surrounding and not allowed unworthy behavior in relation to him.
If the feeling of self-relievement is lowered, the complex "Victim" arises. Not a confident and timid person is aware of himself a pathetic and worthless. Also, others begin to relate to him. Development and achievements with such a situation are difficult.
One who does not like himself and feels unworthy, pursue failures. With each time he is convinced of his own insolvency, does not notice his successes. He simply does not see them. The entire focus of attention is focused only on problems. Such a person is not aware of his rights. The situation may deteriorate. Not confident in his own significance of a person comprehends a sense of despondency, he bends under the cargo of the problems. The depressed state can lead to disorders from nervous system, psychosomatic manifestations and protracted depression.
For the lack of self-esteem, you pay the lack of love and respect from the surrounding. Is the price not great?

Is it possible to change the situation? No one is born, already possessing the feeling of dignity. Self-satisfaction, self-esteem man gets through education. If he got a lot of love and attention from early childhood, he felt necessary and valuable, so he will remain for life. If not, then the chances of have a low self-esteem, which leads to a lack of self-esteem.

How to develop a sense of dignity?

A sense of self-esteem can grow in itself. For this, it is important to understand that anyone has personal rights and he:

not obliged to justify before anyone own actions and words;
can put their interests in the first place without infringement of the rights of other people;
may be weak, upset and count on the aid, if it is necessary for him;
not required to be perfect in everything, what does;
has the full right to be one;
has the right to make a mistake and should not feel the feeling of guilt when it admits;
has the right to his own opinion;
worthy of love and respect, good attitude towards themselves;
should not support their relationships;
has the right to choose his friends himself;
can count on support and good relationship to yourself from others;
may be imperfect;
not required to be an expert in all areas of knowledge;
it has the full right to stop relations who do not bear joy;
should not like everyone and always;
may be weak and depressed from time to time.

Psychologists argue that education in itself a feeling of dignity and significance is quite achievable. It is necessary to focus on achievements, learn them to notice and believe that if something happens, it means that it will continue. Believe that a person is good as it is, take yourself with all its weaknesses and disadvantages. Each is worthy of the best birth right.

Methods for improving intrinsicity:

It is well helped to raise a feeling of our own dignity. Positive statements (affirmations). The one who is trying to develop self-relief may argue that he is worthy of good relationships, love and respect, own housing and other things, the presence of which increases its level of comfort.
The effective method of improving self-esteem can be the record of their own achievements per day and reading this list, to remind yourself.
Well helps the method of questions to yourself. They are built according to the principle: "I am worthy of respect, because ... (I have it right, I am smart and good man etc)".
Reading books and visiting the development of confidence and improving self-esteem is also able to develop a sense of self-esteem. Such trainings suggest training with confident and decent behavior. And you can start with reading an article on how to increase your self-esteem.
Coaching is one of the development tools. This type of self-development is valuable because the mentor does not solve anything for the client, but trying to bring it to adoption self-decide. So the significance of the personality is rising. A person learns to notice his desires, develop and behave adequately. His personality can change dramatically, thanks to its own efforts.

Thus, it can be said that a sense of self-esteem is an indispensable foundation for the development, happiness, human realization, his personal growth. Of course, lucky to those who were taught to be worthy of childhood. But if you are not among them, you do not need to despair and give hands, complain about fate, blame everyone around in your troubles.

Feeling dignity (video)

From the video you will learn a few more facts about self-esteem.

You can learn to be a decent person, to raise a sense of confidence. For this, it is enough to make efforts, strive to become the one who wish. You need to work on yourself and change your own personality, your installations.

In the restaurant you wish about how much paid? Do you think you do not deserve the best? - These are questions not financial opportunities, but how much we are aware of our value. Have you ever wondered what your attitude towards himself? What thought you wake up in the morning? What thought you go to bed? Do you allow yourself to relax, root? You are compassionate in relation to yourself, you can take care of yourself, or vice versa, you squeezed your teeth and despite pain and heaviness continue to go, pretending to the partner, girlfriends, before yourself, what's all right? And how do you feel about your own failures? In a relationship, at work?

What is respect for yourself and self-esteem?

Our relationship with each other is the most important bas which we build in your life. From how we treat yourself, it depends on how we will build relationships with others. Because if we do not accept ourselves, do not respect, then why should others do this? Perfectionism, lack of self-confidence, critical attitude towards others, the need for constant control is only some symptoms of the absence of self-esteem and self-esteem. All this leads to the distance of people from each other, the absence of contact with their emotions, sorrow, disappointment, burnout, or psychosomatic diseases.

The lack of a sense of value and their own dignity complicate the lives of people. Self-esteem is formed in childhood. Important role In this process, the upbringing model plays if parents ignore the needs of the child, have excessive expectations and criticize it, the concepts of self-esteem and the value of their own personality becomes unattainable. Toxic mantras since childhood, like: "You must be a good girl," "Sit in the corner and think about your behavior," "This is not for you", "you will not cope", they say that it is bad to show themselves to surround, to respect well appreciate yourself. These beliefs program our behavior in adulthood And leads to the inability to put the boundaries, it is impossible to deny the other, to the absence of achievements in everything - in salary, love, friendship, as a person to put himself always at the last place. The result is a big loss of own energy and disappointment of life.

Work on respect for yourself is a laborious process. It is not enough only to master the technique. It will not work if we do not get to the sources, we will not know the reasons and do not change the belief. Otherwise, we will only build the facade and spend a lot of energy that no one finds our foundation. The feeling of self-esteem is based on self-consciousness, self-acceptance, love for yourself and respect. And it pays off later, in all respects, in the upbringing of children, responding to others, creating a favorable atmosphere at work and achieving success. Therefore, the basis is the unconditional acceptance of himself. The key is the expansion of self-consciousness: who we are how we create relationships, what is our attitude towards people, what dialogue we drive with you every day.

Only when I find out that these beliefs or worldview are not mine, I can say stop, and start choosing your way to watch.

This leads to the fact that people begin to deliberately choose their behavior, place on Earth. This can be done at any stage of life.

Level 1. How to start to appreciate, respect yourself and raise your own dignity?

You love yourself. The first information is the degree of acceptance of yourself - I really love yourself? As far as my value depends on me, how many from others? How much will I put myself points on a scale from 1 to 10?

People come to psychologists who have achieved all, occupy high posts, manage large teams, have a good social and material status. Suddenly it turns out that in fact they hate others, they fall into dependence, their families fall apart, they themselves practically destroy all the relationship as if they seek self-destruction. And this is just the effect of lack of love for yourself. Managing teams, they cover what they do not take into themselves, become rude with their subordinates because of fear and insecurity. But in the end, burnout comes, depression, psychosomatic diseases appear. As a rule, only then such a person addresses professional help.

On another pole there are people who are trying to humiliate themselves, believe that they will never be happy, do not forgive themselves mistakes, criticize themselves. They are afraid to go out with their ideas, express protest, because they have the impression that they do not deserve to be where they are.

In both cases, the most important work is a change in attitude towards yourself. Only when a person recognizes its value, internally and externally, you can proceed to work on the definition of toxic behavior and manipulative strategies. Both others and in themselves.

Level 2. How to start to appreciate, respect yourself and raise your own dignity?

Formation of healthy energetic. Another one an important element Restoring a sense of own value is the work on the self-presentation. Self-confident people are often associated with the word "no". Such people clearly realize their borders and do not want to respond to the actions of other people. But the essence of energetic is respect for yourself and to others, and the provision of the same rights as I have, and others. People who have problems with the awareness of their own borders, assigning themselves the right to refuse a huge relief. For them, it becomes discovery that the world will not collapse from my "no". At the beginning, it may be useful to do "pauses" - to give yourself a time to think about questions like: Is this an offer for me useful? What happens if I refuse? Do I want to do it? If I do not want, but I know that it will bring me certain advantages, for example, material, then maybe however, it is worth agreeing? We are not talking about always when we have no desire to do something, categorically refuse, but it is useful to first weigh the offer on the cup of your priorities and enter this situation consciously. And then we will come to her with a completely different attitude.

Healthy confidence never leads to the intersection of other people's borders - it is based on self-esteem, which grows out of respect, love, making themselves and aware of how we perceive ourselves and impact others.

So it is never destructive for ambient And for us. Those who have self-esteem also recognize the meaning of others.

Level 3. How to start to appreciate, respect yourself and raise your own dignity?

Detection of beliefs. This is the key to work in building self-esteem. Each of us has its own thinking, a set of beliefs and plants about the world, other people and about themselves. We spoke about this in the process of upbringing, then at school, in adulthood, these ideas are functioning in a public consciousness, flowing from the media, literature, films. Partly they unconscious and work in systems, they are difficult to identify and track themselves. After all, they are tightly connected with us. How can I get to them? Working with customers, psychologists are very carefully listening to the client. Such a natural, conversational language, deceives a lot. Each statement is filled with beliefs, opinions, which indicate what we look at the world, on yourself, in our place, as we perceive ourselves. When, for example, a woman says: "This is too expensive for me," I will not succeed, "I can not", "it's not for me", "I can not" ... this is important information, and then intensive and exciting Work. Often, emotional blockages are formed in the body, which can grow throughout life, for example, as a result of conflicts, finding in a despotic medium, constant criticism, duration of stay in toxic relations. If negative energy is constantly accumulated and collected in the body, there is an emotional garbage that it becomes more difficult to clean. To work with convictions use various techniques. This is a wonderful stage, when we begin to consciously create your own life plan and unique way Its implementation.