An open community for systemic constellations. Observe safety precautions after work
Psychology is a very complex science that has many different approaches to the perception of a person, to his psyche, to what is going on in his head. There are those methods that are considered to be scientific, since their effectiveness has been confirmed by practice for many years. But new and new approaches are constantly appearing, and some of them supplement the scientific component of psychology (naturally, over time, when they also undergo a kind of test_. However, many methods remain unofficial - they are not recognized by the scientific community, but at the same time they remain relevant One of the most striking examples is systemic constellations - a psychological approach that, despite the fact that no one has recognized it for many decades, is still relevant and is used by an impressive number of its supporters. method? How do systemic constellations occur? This is what this article will discuss.
What is the essence of the method?
Systemic constellations is an unconventional approach in psychology, which is based on the fact that all human problems come from the family, or rather from the family system. Therefore, the essence of this method is to reproduce this system in a session in order to understand it and find the true cause of the problem. This reproduction takes place in reality and is called constellation.
Systemic constellations have been practiced for quite some time, but they still have not received the recognition of the scientific community. But people do not always turn to professionals - sometimes what they want to believe is closer to them, and many people believe in this method. Perhaps the reason is that its creator is not only a psychologist, but also a theologian, a spiritual teacher.
Founder of the movement
Since we are talking about who exactly founded this method, then it is worth dwelling on this person. Systemic family constellations are the work of Bert Hellinger, a famous psychologist who was born in 1925 in Germany. He for a long time studied psychology, worked as a psychotherapist, however, as mentioned earlier, he was also a theologian. And in the eighties of the last century, Hellinger discovered and put into circulation the method discussed in this article. That is why it is often called Hellinger's Systemic Family Constellations. This variation is primary and most in demand.
Method roots
The method of systemic constellations is an original offshoot of psychology, but at the same time it also has its roots. Hellinger created this method based on several psychological movements that were relevant at the time. However, if we single out the most important method that most influenced system constellations, it is Eric Berne's script analysis. The essence of this method lies in the analysis of the life situations of each person (this psychologist also believed that all problems come from the family). He believed that each person has his own life scenario, along which he moves. The script is formed in childhood under the influence of parents and environment and in the future it can only be slightly adjusted.
Hellinger acted precisely in accordance with this method, but at a certain point he realized that it had its drawbacks - in the end, he developed his own approach. Later, it was already called systemic constellations and is known to this day under this name. Bert Hellinger's systemic constellations are quite popular in narrow circles. It's time to figure out what exactly this approach is.
Problem situation
So, what did Systemic constellations mean - it is not just a psychological term, constellations actually take place, and this is how it happens. To begin with, there must be some problem situation one of the participants in the psychological session. Strictly speaking, this situation is an element of a certain system, most often a family one. It is with him that the group that participates in the session will have to deal with. Bert Hellinger's systemic constellation method assumes the participation of all people, even those who do not know either the person whose problem is being considered, or with anyone from his family system.
How is the placement going?
The focus of the session is on the client's story, his problem situation. All participants in the session form a large circle, and the problem is presented in a plane in the space between all people. Each element of the system is first imagined, and then its place in real world is occupied by a person who is called a substitute. During the session, he represents a specific member of the system - thus, the entire system is replenished, and everyone gets their role. This is exactly how the arrangement happens. At the same time, this is all done quietly, slowly and with concentration. Each participant concentrates on his feelings, trying to penetrate the essence of the person whom he replaces in the session.
Substitutional perception
As mentioned earlier, deputies may not know either the client or his relatives, including the person they are replacing in the system. And the client doesn't tell the group anything about them, so people have to concentrate and try to realize on their own what kind of belonging they have. This is called substitute perception - people must, without outside help, become the person they are replacing. Thus, the lack of information is compensated by precisely this phenomenon of substitute perception, without which the process would be simply impossible. It is quite likely that this is what pushes professional psychologists and psychiatrists away from this method - there is a lot of uncertainty in it, which cannot be compensated scientifically in any way in order to allow the method of systemic constellations to be called professional.
The source of information
The main source from which participants receive information about the problem, about the client and about the system as a whole, is the so-called "field". That is why people have to concentrate and work in silence - this is how they try to establish a connection with the field in order to get the necessary information about who they are replacing in the system, as well as what kind of “dynamics” their character has with the rest of the system participants. This is exactly how the systemic arrangement takes place - each participant turns into a substitute, gets used to his image, drawing information from the field, and then all participants try to reproduce the problem and solve it. A psychotherapist called a constellation leads the whole process, gives people the most appropriate roles for them, and also tries to help them solve the problem during the constellation process.
The main goal of this whole process is to accurately reproduce the situation so that the client can see it live, understand it and accept his problem. Only when he succeeds in doing this is the session considered successful. Then it is considered that he no longer needs to reproduce a specific problem in the conditions of the constellation, since he was able to realize it and now can deal with it.
findings
As people who practice this method report, it really helps - participants can look at their situation from the other side, try to evaluate what is happening impartially, without associating all actions with their family and friends, which prevents them from thinking rationally. And when a person sees a situation performed in real life strangers, he can understand that this is really his problem - and then he can start looking for a solution. Often, the client is not only unable to solve his problem on his own, but even to see it - this is what the constellation is used for. The client looks at the situation with a stranger's eyes and gets a chance to see it as a problem in general, and then recognize it as his own.
I stopped resisting the questions "how to make an arrangement for myself" and began to collect constructive ideas :) Additions and new ideas are welcome :)
Constellations for oneself (as long as we mean without a group, that is, generally in splendid isolation) are difficult because a person himself cannot feel the excluded dynamics in his system. If he felt them, he would have deciphered them long ago and lived them. But he cannot feel them directly and that is why he lives "someone else's fate."
Nevertheless, it is possible to do something for yourself.
Let's start simple :)
First idea: "Let's go to the cinema?"
So, go or not go to the cinema? Should I go to the seminar of Professor Preobrazhensky? Stay in Verkhnyaya Pyshma at the Sheraton or Hilton hotel?
Today at 19-00 at the cinema. Mossovet is on the film "The Elusive Avengers". Should I go there?
In a room where (preferably) there is no furniture and enough free space, we mark the place "I am in the Mossovet cinema on the Elusive Avengers today." You can mark it, for example, with a sheet of Whatman paper. Just put the Whatman paper on the floor. Better not an A4 leaf, because in the cinema you are surrounded by space, and in the arrangement it is better to also be surrounded by space. Smaller furniture is better so as not to catch extra speakers in chairs and tables, both from the cinema and your own.
We get up at a distance from whatman paper, look at it and walk slowly. We observe our condition. Sometimes already at this stage one senses, for example, an "insurmountable barrier". You can put it on a chair or stretch it with a rope.
Sometimes it suddenly becomes clear that "there will be no kinetic", ie. there is simply no object of our movement. If this event is really announced in the billboard and it is today (and not six months later), then this is very strange. There are two options - either it really won't be (you looked at the wrong poster), or you got into some kind of dynamics with this movie and simply are not able to stage and see "just a movie". For example, in the cinema. Mossovet 20 years ago, Mitya said that this is your last date. You have forgotten this for a long time, but the body remembers ... Or the groom told your grandmother.
Just in case, you can put "where it really leads me" (also with a chair) and see if this figure is visible. If the figure evokes strong sensations and another barrier rises, we have arrived. Keane will not be. To you for a professional constellation.
The difficulty with this arrangement is that the target of the "movie" is rather difficult to set. For example, if the building of the cinema them. Raiders from OOO Truba are attempting to assassinate the Mossovet, the owners of the building and these raiders emit such trash into the space that it can score anything. If the film is "cult" and a million people have already watched it, then it already has an "egregor" and it can sound so that you will not find yourself there. All the girls are already in love with Lanovoy, and on the spot "in the cinema" you feel the energy of the girls touched by the head, and not yourself in this cinema today.
A professional arranger could clean up the trash and put the configuration cleaner, but we don't want to use it ... :)
And yet: "I'm at the Mossovet Cinema on the Elusive Avengers today."
We stand on a Whatman paper, we feel. How are you doing there today? :-))
You can complicate the task and divide the object into (for example): "what is the movie", "what the people are", "how they are fed", etc.
It is possible that the film is bullshit, then there you will meet Petya ... Or classmate Masha and she will say that ...
Important addition: If a it comes about whether to go to the cinema with Vasya from the parallel class, the arrangement should be completely different! About this next episode of our radio program.
For a hotel, I put, for example, "silence". If there is no silence, then I needlessly "comfort", "location in the center" and so on.
For seminars, you can separately put "personal benefit", "benefit in training", "people", "status / for a piece of paper", etc.
10 months ago
http://www.drevo-help.ru/help/hellinger - about constellations - e-mail of a specialist (Marina) You can contact me and order a consultation through Instagram social networks: https://www.instagram.com/undergirlskin VK group : https://www.vk.com/undergirlskin You can help the development of the channel through Yandex.Money 410011721671868
5 years ago
Each person is part of his family system, which includes all his blood relatives, as well as all his sexual partners. The members of the family system, as well as the processes occurring or occurring in the family system, have an impact on our life. And perhaps we subconsciously finish or live something for someone, without having the vital resources to solve our own problems. Perhaps we cannot accept someone in our family system or begin to receive love from those who can and are ready to give it to us, and this prevents us from achieving in our life what we really want to achieve. what is happening in the family system, and also shows the ways out of difficult life situations and achieving the desired results. http://dvizenie.org/ Make an appointment by phone 943-13-82
11 months ago
We're talking about a request. Requesting is a fundamental part of changing our lives. This is a statement to the space that "I am ready to change." As soon as you start asking, space instantly responds with any possible way... The problem may be that you are receiving the wrong information, because you are asking the wrong. How to formulate a request correctly: 1) The request should sound from the client, not the patient. This means that a person is aware that everything that happens to him is the result of his actions. thoughts and so on. 2) The request must sound from I. The laws of our world prohibit influencing another subject. 3) The word - "why", we change - "why". "For what" - the same, "why do I need this." "What does it show to me, in me"? 3) If this request is related to experience, the history of your kind, it is important to ask the right questions about the relationship of those stories with your current situation. 4) We check if the program manifests itself in the context of my statements of the topic, or something similar also manifests itself in other areas of my life. Where am I in my character with this sign, where is it repeated. 4) When you go to the constellation, find out information about your ancestors. After whom you were named. Who had similar situations, problems. What would you first look at this. When everything is properly prepared, formulated, then everything in a person's life begins to change even before the arrangement.
Kinky2 years ago
Get unlimited for everything http://lp.laboratoria.tv/uspexlico/ In family system constellations, the family is a synonym for Rod. We are all in the Rod field. Problems don't always come from being active or passive. We are part of our parents and family. Problems depend on family weaves. We depend on how our ancestors lived. The relationship with mom determines our success in life. What is mom in your life? Analyze your relationship with your partner. Analyze where is your success in life and what kind of relationship with your mother. Today we take the first step towards solving these family problems. Messages from all the women of the Family go through my mother. 07:43 What is family to you? 12:35 Events that are kept silent turn into a family secret. 13:38 What role do you play in your family? 17:21 You are in the field of the clan 18:28 What is your relationship with your mother? 53:30 Going to the spiritual constellation "Adopting Mother" 01:41:15 End of practice 01:44:13 Feedback 01:57:32 End of lesson License to play music http://www.mediafire.com/view/p77d7s1. ..
Kinky2 years ago
Many of us have one serious diagnosis called Interrupted Movement to Mother. When we are born into this world, we are connected with our mother so much that it seems to us that we are one. And mom for us is the embodiment of the very love that we expect to see here on planet Earth when we come here. And we have a natural movement, a natural love for our mother, which is born much earlier than we are on this world, while we are still inside her. But when something happens and at a young age we cannot be near, even in the hospital, when they are taken away in the first minutes, the child experiences such a shock, such pain that it is very difficult for him to cope with. And when he copes, on a subconscious level, he decides never to approach his mother so that God forbid, she will leave again, and I will again live that very pain. The pain of loss, the pain of separation. And there is an interrupted movement to the mother, which affects further on the whole life. Vania Markovich - Rector, Professor at the Academy of Constellations, lecturer at the French University Samadeva, mediator of constellations and expert in human relations. We are always glad to see you at the constellations in the Samadeva center! Come to the address St. Petersburg, st. Kazanskaya 10 (2nd floor). 945-13-24 We carry out remote constellations if you are in another city and cannot come! The site of the Constellation Academy www.academy-system.com The video was filmed during the constellations.
About ten years ago, I first saw an advertisement for Hellinger constellations in the Russian information space. Since at that time I was aware of the content of this new phenomenon for our country, I decided that this practice would naturally go into the world of "occult services" rather quickly. A year later, having found in the price list of several fairly large psychological centers that do not associate themselves with magic in any way, I decided to go there and see what exactly they do there and how professional psychologists explain to themselves the legitimacy of this practice.
The opportunity appeared on its own and very quickly: I came across an announcement about the search for so-called "substitutes" - important participants in the most common type of constellation. My husband and I signed up for the "deputies", naturally, without reporting either our motivation or professional affiliation (in fairness: no one asked us about this). Let me make a reservation right away: the formats for conducting constellations may differ, but they are substantively based on the same idea. And they can be called in different ways: systemic family constellations, just systemic constellations and many more variations on the topic. The case presented below serves to illustrate the "work" of the method, as well as material for the critical analysis that follows.
So, the constellation was carried out for a young man. He, under the guidance of the psychologist leading the constellation, assigned each of the deputies the role of one of his family members (so far only living) and placed us around the room. Several constellators were left without roles. And then a phantasmagoria began: “experienced deputies” (from among the employees of the center) began to report “heaviness in the heart,” “tickling in the heel,” and other mysterious sensations from standing next to someone or, on the contrary, because of the remoteness of someone. then. And only we stood in our places and felt nothing but curiosity.
Then, in some incomprehensible way for me, one of the “deputies” (who felt an acute desire to pour out love and regret to the client) “turned out” to be the client's aborted child, several more people “turned out” to be long-dead relatives ... a spiritualistic session began. Then something akin to psychodrama with a mystical bias happened. And it all ended with a tough instruction from the constellator from the category “get up and go!”.
Naturally, I stayed late, told the constellator my professional affiliation and asked what it was, where he studied and how ashamed he was. In response, I received a stream of consciousness "there is much in the world, friend of Horatio ..." on the topic of the existence of phenomena still unknown to science and some fields to which one must connect to gain knowledge.
Then I decided that with this level of delusionalism, this service will serve clients well: it will help them distinguish truly professional psychologists from charlatans who have nothing to do with scientific knowledge.
It seemed obvious to me that a reasonable person, before giving their money for any service, would google about it. When searching for information about Hellinger's constellations, one finds, perhaps, the most systematized short description of the methodology in the Russian-language segment: E.V. Veselago. Systemic constellations according to Bert Hellinger: history, philosophy, technology. // Psychotherapy. No. 7, 2010. No. 1, 2011.: [Electronic resource].
Reading this article, in my opinion, is enough to understand that this technique has nothing to do with psychology as a science in any "reincarnation". And the paragraph below (ibid., P. 14) makes it clear that the concept of norms in any sense of the arrangement has the same relation as to science: “ Hellinger says his work is not psychotherapy, it is a practical philosophy. I would like to add: "And also practical theology." And in this practice we sometimes reach the limits: frightening, unacceptable, wrong, “immoral” movements (events, stories). After all, if there is neither bad nor good, and everything moves the way it moves, then what about, for example, situations of incest? Violence, murder, abortion? Fascism, genocide? Many times, witnesses to Hellinger's constellation work have come across the unacceptable: for example,in the constellation, the daughter who is sexually involved with the father tells the mother: “Mom, I’m glad to do this for you.” Through this phrase, pronounced in the constellation, the spirit of “seeing” love and reconciliation comes, the connection reveals its meaning and ceases to be needed... But at the same time, a wave of outrage rises from defenders of victims of violence and abuse, from women, from men, from social workers and many others, in whose understanding the idea of \u200b\u200bprotecting the victim from the rapist and appropriate punishment for him is correct».
But, judging by the prevalence of constellations, the almost complete absence of criticism in the Russian-speaking segment of the Web and scientific sources, the penetration of methods into the system of public education and science, this issue is in dire need of discussion.
So, Bert Hellinger's method of family systemic constellations received wide use in the second half of the last century as a helping psychological practice. It is considered that basic principles The methods correspond to the systemic and phenomenological approach, but their interpretation is carried out by the author in an extremely unorthodox manner. Based on systemic prerequisites, Hellinger proposes to consider the whole complex in therapy family relations in their interconnection and hierarchy, including intergenerational ones (including between living and already deceased relatives). The phenomenological nature of the method implies the priority of the direct subjective experience and sensations of the participants in the constellations.
According to the supporters of the method, the relationships, experiences and sensations of the members of the family system are in a kind of "field", and, being placed in the appropriate roles, completely outsiders, as it were, are included in this field and begin to reproduce the characteristic sensations of its members, even without having any preliminary information about them. By interacting with these “substitutes”, the participant gets the opportunity to work out his personal problems and issues of relations with relatives, work colleagues and even abstract concepts.
In my opinion, the above should have been enough to understand the unscientific and uselessness of the "method" of constellations, however, in case the reader still has doubts, let us dwell in a little more detail on the most odious positions (I will try to do without highly specialized terms) ...
First, the “mechanics” of constellations is based on the so-called phenomenon of substitutional perception, when a substitute begins not only to imagine, but to feel and experience what his real living or long-dead prototype feels and experiences, drawing information directly from the “information field” ... The mechanism of this substitute perception and the way of transferring information between its bearer and his substitute, however, is not formalized or explained in any way - but it cannot be verified and refuted.
Secondly, the generally sensible idea that an individual does not live in a vacuum and is influenced by family members (by the way, not only they, but also a lot of other social subjects and agents of socialization) is brought to the point of absurdity and the person turns out to be not just connected, but closely intertwined (and this is not about genetics!) in his fate with the fate of his ancestors - even those about whom he does not know and could never know in principle. As a result, it is argued that he can live not his own destiny and perform not his tasks, since a psychological problem arose some generations ago, which has not yet been resolved. Neither modern psychology nor neurophysiology have scientific explanations for this phenomenon, and there are also no ways to check whether a client is really suffering for the sins of his great-grandmother.
If we remove the philosophical and mystical component, then the constellation technique itself, in fact, is an attempt to project the client's conscious and unconscious ideas about the structure and nature of interpersonal relations within the family - and this could have a limited practical use, but similar techniques already exist (for example, psychodrama), so that novelty, obviously, can be achieved only by hoaxing and operating with quasi-scientific concepts like "psychic energy", "information field", "substitute perception" and others. But maybe there is nothing wrong with that, and let the clients of the "constellators" pay a kind of "tax on ignorance"? ..
Not at all. The method is not “ethically neutral” and contains several elements that are very dangerous for the client.
First, the simplest objection is that using the “crooked” method leads you astray and the conviction that the root of problems must be sought “down the family tree,” listening to the feelings caused by strangers in you. who are entrusted with the roles of all kinds of relatives, will prevent you from seeing the real problem. It's in best case... At worst, you will become entrenched in your delusions and distorted perceptions.
Secondly, the non-formalized method with unverifiable results leaves too wide scope for the work of the "constellator" - and makes extremely high demands on his professionalism, ethics and ability to critical reflection. Something tells me that people who practice (often on a commercial basis) an unscientific method with murky semi-esoteric premises may have serious problems with these qualities. Moreover, for people in borderline states, the experience of constellations (in any role) can be dangerous as a provocation for the development of full-fledged psychiatry.
Third, at its core, Hellinger's ideas about "orders of love" reproduce patriarchal models of gender and intergenerational relations, in fact, prescribing certain (and rather rigid) principles of perception and behavior to clients. Hellinger's sensational interpretation of incest as the mother's guilt that she did not sufficiently satisfy the sexual interests of her husband, as a result of which he had to have sex with his daughter, not only creates the basis for the cultivation of feelings of guilt in the mother (which, perhaps, by quite logical distance from her husband), but also forces the victim of incest to "accept with respect" the act of violence against himself. Not to mention the fact that for the rapist himself, such an interpretation does not give any chance to realize his responsibility for what was done and to work out the reasons that led to this act.
I admit that those psychologists and educators who refer to Hellinger's ideas and implement them in their practice and curricula do not accept of all provisions of "systemic-family" therapy, but then this indicates either their ignorance or scientific incompetence. Everything that "works" in constellations is not specific features of constellations, but is completely exhausted by other, completely scientific methods. And what is unique in them is neither concrete psychology, nor science in general, and therefore does not work and cannot work.
Nevertheless, there are also those who “passed” and who were “helped”. Why did it work in their case?
Many people find it much easier to live, believing that they are not guilty of anything. The “family field” is to blame, which forced, for example, to repeat the fate of an exiled relative. And the feeling of guilt is one of the very common problems with which people seek help.
Since the constellations use elements from items 2-4, there are lucky people who were helped by the constellations and, perhaps, even did not harm much. Although the harm in the form of the mythologization of consciousness has been inflicted on them unambiguously! The same harm is done to the “deputies”. It's not worth talking about the proven effectiveness of this method at all, because there is not a single study in this area.
For a number of contradictory statements and methods, Hellinger was expelled from the German Association for Systemic Constellations by his former followers, but at the same time continued to deal with constellations, removing the name of Bert Hellinger and morally controversial attitudes. In fairness, it should be noted that there were also those experts who, although they recognize the potential in this eclectic method, but consider it unsafe for patients.
Unfortunately, constellations are now becoming more widespread as a service. But the worst thing is that they begin to occupy an indecently large space among professionals, they are included in educational programs and practices are included in publications indexed by the RSCI.
Recently I discovered constellations in the curricula of some state universities, constellation courses taught at ANO on the basis of state (sic!) Psychiatric institutions and allowing you to get a state certificate!
In their attempts to legitimize the method of constellations, supporters of the approach do not disdain falsifications: for example, the article on systemic family psychotherapy in the Russian-language "Wikipedia" was written clearly by adherents of this method. The bold statement that “about 80 randomized and controlled trials have been able to confirm that systemic and family therapy is an effective and cost-effective method of psychotherapy with very good long-term effects” refers to one Bernard Schorn and his “work” called “Scientific Research proves efficiency and long-term success. " Searching the Russian-speaking and English-speaking segments of the Internet did not help me to reveal the mysterious identity of this man. Well, of course, I also did not find the corresponding work.
And finally, I would like to inform you that nowadays constellations for business systems, constellations for exchange rates and other economic issues are becoming more widespread. What personally causes mixed feelings in me: funny, of course, but ... if business people and bankers begin to rely on the results of occult practices in making decisions, what will await us in the future?
The first few times, looking at the systemic constellations according to Hellinger, it seems that this is sheer mysticism and magic: people play some roles, they feel and think something incomprehensible, move, the presenter asks unexpected questions and draws incomprehensible conclusions (as if “from the ceiling ”), New figures are rearranged and added, someone is lying on the floor (and why ?!), then everything is transformed somehow, incomprehensible phrases are spoken and the situation is resolved.
| Bert Hellinger noticed that often the source of the client's problem lies in the level of life of the ancestors, for example, parents or grandparents. Any tasks, unlived to the end of the script or uncorrected mistakes of the past, are passed on to descendants by the Family, thereby weaving them into living and working out what the ancestors did not complete. Therefore, other methods, which are limited to considering only the current life of a person, are usually ineffective, do not allow to see and eliminate the causes of certain undesirable phenomena. Unreacted feelings, destructive behaviors, diseases are passed on to descendants and are lived as their own. Within the framework of family constellations, the study of the client's problem is carried out in a broader, systematic way, the sources of problems are identified and eliminated, the root of which is in the life of not only current, but also previous generations. So, according to Hellinger, constellations are a method that allows you to work with a person as a part of the system, to find and eliminate the causes of certain negative phenomena in a person's life, the source of which is in the life of ancestors. |
In the course of his observations, Bert Hellinger revealed unconscious actions and reactions of family members leading to increased suffering (for example, the revenge of a daughter to other men for a mother who was mistreated by her father, leads to the fact that there are even more innocent victims and misfortune, while how the problem is not being solved), as well as several key laws of family systems (will be discussed in detail below), the violation of which leads to certain negative consequences.
Many constellations help solve problems, some people come out completely changed, despite the fact that they do not understand at all what happened, everything looked like some kind of strange theater, but at the same time, there is a feeling that something important has happened. In the process of placement, you can highlight some structure, key points, understanding which, what is happening becomes clearer and often instructive.
How the systemic arrangement according to Hellinger works
A person comes with a problem that he wants to solve. There is a small discussion with the presenter, it is revealed to what extent the placement method is suitable for the solution (sometimes a person just does not have enough knowledge, perhaps some life advice). Further, for the client's system under consideration, for example, a family, several significant people in this situation are identified. In their role from among the participants, the client or the leader chooses substitutes and places them in accordance with how their position in the system is felt. The field of the system under consideration appears, gradually the deputies immerse themselves in roles and begin to broadcast the processes taking place in the family. For example, a substitute mother may feel parental feelings for her daughter’s substitute, the substitutes of two warring family members begin to show aggression towards each other, and the sister will start crying over her early deceased brother. If necessary, some more roles are added to the constellation and tracked how their appearance affects the system and changes in behavior.
By the interposition and relationship between the system elements, violations associated with the client's request are determined. Further undertaken different steps in order to eliminate the identified violations, for example, by changing the position of the substitutes, placing them in the right order or through pronouncing permissive phrases, as a result of which the family's field and the client's state change, the reasons for the negativity go away (sometimes additional work is needed to eliminate the accumulated consequences). The client, as a rule, observes everything from the side, and then is entered into the constellation field to perform key actions, live and consolidate the image-decision.
After the constellation, it is better not to discuss it with anyone, try not to talk for a while (and to yourself, too, not ask questions, not try to analyze), be alone with yourself, not leave the process, fully accept and assimilate what happened ... This applies to those situations when such behavior is a way to waste energy or not look at what is happening, suppress, distract. Sometimes a person starts talking (it is more suitable to "chat") in order to relieve tension, thus he knocks down the mood and reduces the strength of the arrangement, the effect produced by it.
The idea to shift the function of displaying hidden subtle processes onto the people themselves is very good, because people, in their essence, by nature, are good translators, they constantly work out signals from thin planby implementing in dense (more details below). A person has more degrees of freedom, more flexible than any other system, any other instrument, for example, maps, pendulum, frame, etc. Substitutes can move, speak, show emotions, build figures, show dynamics, communication, interact, etc. ., which allows you to more fully and vividly convey subtle processes. It also gives some clarity and is easier for others to perceive, what is happening is clearer, more natural and closer to a person's everyday life than the form in which information is given in other systems (Tarot, pendulum, etc.).
The constellation method can be used not only to untie family weaves, but also to address issues of personal development (what is now better to focus your attention on), finding a place in life, forecasting (which choice is most suitable for a person), to clarify and build relationships within teams, for example organizations (what happens between employees on a subtle plane, where are the weaknesses, why the director stopped working well, how best to build relationships with this or that employee, what is the reason for current failures, mass layoffs and apathy in the company, what can be done, how customers will react to innovations). We can say that this is a technique based on the phenomenon of substituting perception, a person's ability to identify with any objects (subpersonality, person, dream figure, collective, body organ) or rather abstract concepts, processes, qualities and phenomena (death, relationships , reason, emotion, disease, life, wisdom).
In addition to the group form, constellations can be carried out one-on-one with a specialist, then the places of the figures are marked with "anchors", and the specialist moves from mark to mark and gets used to the sensations of this figure, then everything happens in much the same way as in group work. Work can be done in your imagination, alone with yourself.
Systematic consideration of problems
A widespread narrow view of certain negative actions or vices of a person often does not allow solving the problem, because quite often several people are involved in this and the reason, the source of such behavior may be in another person, and they blame everything on the victim and look for (and find) flaws in it. If you look at the problem more broadly, see a person as a part of a system, pay attention to the relationship of elements, then often the situation is presented in a completely different light, and accordingly, other solutions appear.
Example "A man is drinking"
The woman's first husband left her and after a while she marries another, most likely not for love. A woman is constantly unhappy with her new husband, compares him with others and finds flaws, and especially with the first. This happens both clearly - no matter what the man does, everything is not right, and on a subtle plane - the woman inside regularly aggravates, sends negative thoughts, does not respect and despises the man, instead of the house as a fortress, good comfort, only teeth. The husband gradually begins to drink, because does not withstand constant attacks. Perhaps he does not realize the source of the problem, he feels that he is not well and, in order to somehow get away from these feelings, he is forgotten in alcohol (see stunning). A man sacrifices himself to preserve his marriage.
Usually they say something like this: "everything is fine with him, because he drinks!", "Go get coded!" (in this case, the opportunity to rest, defend for a short time is blocked, and then other, more serious consequences are likely, for example, heart problems and early death or "unmotivated" attacks of aggression and beatings), "such a wonderful woman was not lucky with a man" (the behavior of a person inside family and people are sometimes very different, under the influence of various egregors, the perception of the world and the roles played by a person are rebuilt. A woman may well be "soft and fluffy" in people. See the article on egregors and below about their impact.), " stop drinking. " To stop drinking requires seeing the source of the problem and having the strength to make the decision to get out of the relationship. Or a woman can figure out what is happening, where these emotions come from, what is their reason, but it’s hard and doesn’t want to look in that direction. something serious may emerge, requiring a lot of energy and work on oneself. And in this case, to divert the eyes, the stigma is hung that “a man is a drunkard” (a common variant of “solving” a problem by the subconscious in order to reduce the pressure on consciousness. See the article on the work of consciousness and subconsciousness), then nothing needs to be done, the position of the victim is taken , all responsibility and blame is shifted to another. This is a special case, for illustration, there are other reasons for drunkenness and in each case you need to look at it individually.
As you can see above, with an external declaration of any desires, often people inside themselves do not want changes, desires serve as a screen, speaking in this way or engaging in self-deception, a person receives some benefit. The actual realization of the desired may be completely unprofitable for some participants, since can lead to a restructuring of the system and relationships within it, sometimes these relationships can end (the husband sees that his wife did not marry for love and realizes the harmfulness of further being with her), even someone's death is possible (for example, when one person held the other or wanted to die instead of him, saying deep inside: “I’m better instead of you”). All objects (both egregors and people) that are not interested in real changes begin to resist as much as they can, create various temptations and unforeseen circumstances in order to return everything to its former course (see also "Obstacles on the way to change"). For example, as soon as a man comes close to understanding, the wife becomes “silky” (the state is often induced by an egregor and is unconsciously played out) and gradually removes him from “bad” thoughts, or when the husband is ready for decisive action, urgent matters appear and thoughts come ( from the system) that it is better not to do this yet, the words sound inside: “Well, be patient, wait a little more. Maybe everything will change? " The states of a man can jump from “my leg won't be here anymore,” to the complete absurdity of previous thoughts and a lack of understanding of how he could think about it. These states strongly depend on which egregor the man is now connected to, which subpersonality is active.
The impact of egregor on a person
After the arrangement, you can wonder how it happened that gradually a person began to reproduce other people's emotions, thoughts and attitudes towards other people, perception changed, he began to feel, more recently, strangers, like his mother, husband, grandmother, brother, a lot was lived “as if by -really "- such is the impact of egregor on a person. Few people transfer the experience gained to everyday life, wondering how much what we do, think, want, feel, live on a daily basis is our own and not directed.
With the exit from the arrangement field, the influence of egregors does not end, since egregor are everywhere, a person simply moves from the area of \u200b\u200bmanagement of one egregor to the area of \u200b\u200banother (see the example "Consultation with a psychologist"). A person goes out into the street and falls under the influence of the egregor of pedestrians, which imperceptibly regulates the movement of the flow of people (you can feel the necessary speed of movement and some lines of force along which it is better to walk. Towards those who violate the preferred speed and trajectory, for example, when a person walks across crowds or constantly abruptly changes direction and speed, egregor makes other people feel discontent, aggression), or motorists, or the metro. Then he comes to work, home or in the store - they also have their own egregors that control the situation and behavior of people.
Example "In store"
A burning desire to buy something appears in the store and somehow explains to itself (or does not explain at all) a burning desire to buy something that, after leaving the store, can be perceived as unnecessary and unnecessary, although at the moment of choice it was felt as clearly necessary, almost vital. Than longer person walks around the store, the higher the likelihood of getting into a semi-trance state and buying a lot of things that were not planned at all. Therefore, in many stores, bread is put further away so that the customer can pick up something else on the way. Huge racks, a large selection, multi-colored packaging - all this scatters attention and contributes to the transition to the desired state. Listing, fast and focused movement reduces impulse purchases.
Everything that happens is perceived personally, it seems to a person that thoughts, emotions, impulses for action and perception of other people are his own. In fact, the egregor, leading the situation, organizes a suitable combination of circumstances, dresses the participants with certain roles and offers scenarios for the game that correspond to the roles, induces certain states. Considering that a person is under the influence of the field not for 15 minutes, but most often for much longer - often days and years, one can assume how powerful and deep this effect is, how familiar and imperceptible it is. In life, every person is an even better actor than in constellations, he gets used to the role even better, learns them for a long time, perfectly and truly, selflessly performs.
Therefore, in most cases, the actions prescribed by the script are performed by a person without hesitation, automatically, from beginning to end, without assessing how useful they are and with full confidence that they are his own. Sometimes such reactions are inappropriate to the situation, illogical and lead to negative consequences. Often scenarios are repeated more than once, and a person even notices that it ends badly, nevertheless enters into them and works out, he is sucked in by something.
Example "Accepted aggression"
The woman periodically finds a "causeless" feeling of hatred for men, she wants to take revenge on them, begins to perceive them as enemies who need to be punished. This feeling was transmitted to her from her mother, whose husband treated his wife badly. It is clear that such obsessions have a bad effect on relationships with men who do not understand at all periodic outbursts of fierce hatred, aggression and destructive behavior. But the program, from time to time, turns on and the woman unconsciously produces a series of blows at “her enemies”.
The solution will be to see what is really happening, that these feelings do not belong to her, but are induced, to disidentify. Many problems can be avoided by knowing the laws (orders) of family systems and the impact their violation has on the lives of family members.
The law of ownership
 |
All members of the system have an equal right to belong to the genus, no one can be excluded, there is no division into good and bad. Members of the system include grandparents, parents, previous partners of parents and grandparents, someone who seriously influenced the system (for example, saved someone from the system, or killed), children, aborted or stillborn, murderers, etc. their victims, those who have somehow suffered from the actions of the members of the system, and it doesn't matter whether these people are alive now or not - they are all part of the system. It often happens that someone from the members of the system is forgotten or forced out, for example, the parents feel pain inside because they had an abortion, they try to forget, not think about what happened, thereby, as it were, trying to exclude the child from their family. Or relatives with a difficult fate, unusual by social standards, are rejected - they prefer not to talk about them, a kind of taboo appears. |
In the event of any exclusion of one of the members, the system seeks to restore its integrity by the fact that descendants begin to work out behavioral scenarios, carry the fate and feelings of the excluded, an identification occurs that people, most often, do not realize.
Example "Remembering Grandpa"
Grandfather, a businessman, went bankrupt on one business, lost everything, his wife left him with the child and they prefer not to talk about him anymore. The grandson is also in business and as soon as he comes to the moment of significant success, he starts making mistake after mistake and ultimately fails. Thus, he remembers his grandfather. It is necessary to pay tribute to the fate of the grandfather, to admit with love that he is part of the family, if possible, to establish contact with him.
You can look a little from the other side. Rod, egregor is a system that has its own tasks (karma), and family members are elements that perform certain functions. In the event of the exclusion of any of the family members, functions are redistributed between the remaining members, or the search for a person for the appropriate role begins (for example, a man thinks that he is looking for a young mistress, but in fact, he lacks his unborn daughter). When a suitable person appears, the system suggests a missing role to him, he unconsciously identifies with the excluded and begins to perform his functions. If the repressed family member is remembered and given his due, then even if he has died a long time ago, he is still present in the system and there is no need to transfer his functions to someone else. The task of the person who is identified is to see the real situation, to understand with whom the identification is taking place, to include him in the system with love, then dis-identification occurs, the imposed functions, emotions, thoughts, life scenarios go to its owner and there is no longer a need to play someone else's role.
Law of Hierarchy
 |
The stream of life flows from the past to the future, from the earlier members of the system to the later ones, it cannot be reversed, it can only be passed on. For the family, the one who came to the system earlier is more important than those who came later. For example, parents are more important than children, an older child is more important than his brothers and sisters, grandparents are more important than parents. Therefore, later family members, often, unconsciously sacrifice themselves for the sake of earlier ones, a special case - when a descendant begins to replace his ancestor to restore the integrity of the system, despite the fact that it harms him. And at the level of systems, newer systems are more important than the old ones, for example, the family of newlyweds is more important to their members than their previous families, where they were the children of their parents. Or a new family is more important than the former families of partners. |
Example "Accepted Desire to Leave Life"
The granddaughter felt sadness and a desire to die. In the constellation, it turned out that this feeling and desire to move into death was taken over from her mother. The mother had many abortions, was sad for her unborn children and wanted to leave after them. Mom, in turn, adopted this feeling and life scenario from her grandmother, who also had many aborted children and a desire to go after them. The solution for the granddaughter, in this case, may be: to see what is happening, to disidentify, to leave the mother the opportunity to bear her destiny and be responsible for the consequences of the decisions made.
Violation of the Law of Hierarchy will be various attempts by the younger ones to rise to a level or higher than the older ones. For example, when a child interferes in the life of his parents, takes the position of a parent-educator in relation to them, takes the place of one of his parents (symbolic marriage), arrogance. The consequences can be completely different: conflicts with parents, energy exhaustion, illness, inability to find a couple or problems in the family, collapse. When a child somehow abandons his parent, for example, through aggression, arrogance, or one parent is ousted by another parent, the female or male flow ceases to flow to him, which leads to problems in relationships with the opposite sex, a lack of confidence, a feeling of support.
Balance law
| Relationships arise when one party gives something to the other. The one who gives, feels a certain ease, superiority and the right to demand. The recipient, on the other hand, has a feeling of guilt, inner tension, a desire to give something in return, and this inner feeling will torment the person until he regains balance. So the system, through a sense of guilt and innocence, directs people to maintain a balance, tries to balance the exchange within itself between equals in status - for example, between a husband and a wife (see also about the exchange of energy and examples of restoring balance). |
When the balance is restored, the relationship may end. the tension goes away, the participants have a feeling of lightness. Therefore, in order to continue the relationship, if something good is received, you can return a little more so that the tension is constantly maintained, and the volume of exchange between people grows, which leads to mutual enrichment, filling the participants and increasing the good. If a person has done something bad, then in order to continue the relationship and improve their quality, you need to return a little less bad, that is. the volume of exchange in the bad will be less and less each time.
There is a trap and a great temptation for those who were treated unfairly to become an even greater aggressor, to turn into a cruel destroyer. The victim of a bad deed often feels inside his superiority over the offender, arrogance, there is a feeling of the right to demand, to punish. Various thoughts may slip through, such as: "I am good, you are bad", "I am much better, cleaner and taller than you", "I am kind and tolerant, and you are evil, mean and unbalanced", "I suffer and go to heaven and you, a sinner, go to hell. " The victim sometimes relishes such thoughts, despises and swells in his arrogance, not noticing how the heart closes, it hardens, winds itself up (astral-mental loop - when thoughts and emotions warm up and strengthen each other), is filled with poison and gradually turns into the one whom recently she cursed and with a clear conscience, under the pressure of increasing internal tension, does even greater evil. The mind, with a closed heart, can come up with any excuses for cruelty and they will quite look completely adequate ("he himself is to blame", "tit for tat", "I root out injustice", "I am only for the sake of protection" - rationalization), at least at least for the one who has fantasized for himself.
In the event of an imbalance, when one gives more than the other, the relationship is likely to break down. the former begins to feel exhaustion and superiority, and the latter is pushed out of the exchange under the pressure of guilt and an oppressive feeling of being inferior to the other. Sometimes the giver avoids the taker to repay the debt in every possible way, thus he wants to maintain a sense of superiority.
It is very difficult for a taker to sincerely admit that he receives more, that he is, as it were, lower. this is a relationship of equals and the transition to another status is a very serious blow to self-esteem. The refusal of equality to the other within is perceived as aggression and the taker experiences in this case:
- Deep feelings of guilt and a strong desire to get out of the relationship, it is simply pushed out
- aggression towards someone who is trying to put himself above
- impulses to restore balance in good or bad. If the exchange cannot be balanced in good terms, i.e. there is no way to repay in proportion, then the option remains in the bad (in fact, in the amount of the difference in the exchange of good and the pressure that it exerts). These can be attempts to humiliate the giver, desire for revenge, dirty tricks and other negative manifestations.
If the balance is not restored, then the sense of duty or the right to demand, revenge can be passed on to the later members of the system.
Example "Partnership"
The man's ancestor acted unfairly with his partner, deceived. A man is engaged in business, opens firms, enters into partnerships, which end up being thrown in some way.
There is another type of relationship - one in which there is initially inequality and some give much more, while others take, for example, between parents and children or between a teacher and a student. In this case, the receiving party cannot return its debt to the one who gives, but can only pass on what was received further, for example, to his students or children.
Birth
You can look at the birth of a person in such a way that a child, some time before conception, brings his future parents together, organizes the space and forms the conditions that he needs for birth. Accordingly, the situation in which the child was born, the conditions in which he grew up and the parents that he had are what he needs, no matter how difficult and traumatic his childhood was. In this vein, reproaches or arrogant attitude towards parents about the conditions of their birth, as a rule, are not constructive: the child has come where he should be.
What is happening in the arrangement is, first of all, images in the language of which the field wants to tell something, help to see the cause of problems and eliminate them. This language, first of all, must be understood by the presenter, to whom, in addition to what is happening in the constellation field, images can directly come, the situation must be felt (see the article "Systems of interpretation"). Also, this language is not universal - different presenters can interpret similar symbols in different ways. Graduates of the same school will have more similar images (because the same interpretation program was laid during training) than graduates from different schools... And, by and large, most often it does not matter in which generation the event happened and with whom specifically (a woman in the fifth generation), but it is important to understand it, learn a lesson and remove the negative impact on the client's current life. The scene, which is played out in the field of arrangement, probably never happened in the life of the clan in the form in which it was understood and interpreted by the participants. Often, to describe what is happening on the subtle plane is much better suited to the language not of events, but of flows of energy and disturbances in their flow (see). In this case, one and the same problem from the point of view of flows can be presented in the form of different events, different life situations can lead to similar disturbances in the flow of energy. With the help of the arrangement, there is a harmonization of energy flows and their flow.
please tell me if there is any benefit for the substitutes from the arrangement?
A person who participates in the constellation as a substitute gains experience, sometimes this leads to the solution of his personal problems. Having been as a substitute, the view on some relationships and the optimal model of behavior, a kind of outside view, which you cannot get in ordinary life, changes. For example, a mother is in conflict with her daughter, having participated in the constellation as a substitute for her daughter, who is at war with the mother, saw what her daughter really wants and how the relationship can be improved.
about the diagnostic constellation. why turn off the mind?
The mind contains a set of stereotypes embedded by someone, how to and how not to act, how it is possible and how not, it can be very straightforward and constrained by all sorts of frames, dogmas. The mind can juggle facts, engage in self-deception, rationalize. Far from always, what the mind insists on is good for a person, as a rule, he leads a person along the beaten path. Therefore, it is desirable to reduce its impact as much as possible in order to find really good decision, which will please both the mind and the Soul.
"Rationalization" what is?
rationalization - the selection of only some facts and the construction on their basis of conclusions allowing to maintain good image yourself (see rationalization in the section "psychological defenses"). Self-deception, when it is passed off one after another (“I don’t shout, I have such a voice,” “my anger is righteous, I act only for the purpose of self-defense” or “I am doing my best”, statements look beautiful and believable, but most often they are lies). So something can be hidden even for the person himself and the picture of what is happening will be distorted.
are there any exceptions to the laws? are they always true?
The laws of family systems are a generalization made by Hellinger based on the practice of working with family systems, the translation of some regularities on a subtle plane into words, which is always associated with coarseness and a degree of inaccuracy. The laws within various egregors are not always the same, respectively, in different cultural environments and over time, the laws and consequences of certain actions may differ. Therefore, in each specific situation need to be looked at individually. But in the vast majority of cases, they are correct. If more abstractly, some actions create deformations in the normal flow of energy according to the Kin, distort something, and on the physical plane this leads to various undesirable consequences. Here are some examples in the form of metaphors:
- There is a powerful stream, and a person stands in front of him and tries to resist, he struggles, although the forces are completely unequal, accordingly, the rate of wear increases here, and sooner or later, alive or dead, what resisted will float further (resistance to something greater).
- There is a flow of life-giving energy, and the person has stepped aside, refuses and dies of thirst, instead of going with the flow (arrogance, exclusion of someone from the system).
- Someone was badly done, he wished everything “good” as much as he could, thereby poisoning the stream, adding a poisonous stream to it. Perhaps it will not affect those who have committed a bad deed, but some of the descendants will fall into a negative stream. Therefore, those who are in the stream need to notice and neutralize this impact, for example, through reconciliation (imbalance, exclusion of someone from the system)
- Some element of the system directed part of its flow in the other direction from its descendants and the path followed by the Rod. The descendants get only small streams. The flow gives strength and security.
- Some of the family members have removed some quality from the stream, or, on the contrary, added it, and it is passed on to the descendants. For example, the withdrawn quality can be "warmth" or "joy of life", and added "sadness" and "aggression" or "the ability to play music". Streams mix, then go deep, then float to the surface in descendants.
Anyone can be a substitute or are they somehow chosen? and how should the deputy behave?
Almost anyone. You can even never see the constellation, come and immediately be a substitute. It is advisable for the deputy to turn off the head, not to try to analyze. To stand, to pause, to slow down, to feel in, and gradually various sensations may come, for example, one of the participants in the arrangement will start to like it or, on the contrary, will be disgusted, want to move somewhere or be with another figure - the field will begin to lead. The system shows something important through the behavior and relationships of the substitutes.
how does a specialist understand that something is broken, how can this be determined by looking at the arrangement from the outside?
You can feel, see inside, sometimes the substitutes directly say what they feel and what they want, as well as by the external behavior and disposition of the participants. For instance:
- the daughter stands next to the father, takes the place of the mother;
- the participant clenches his fists - aggression towards someone;
- deputies look at the floor - someone is missing, an aborted child;
- the child follows the deceased relative and wants to lie next to him;
- the husband and wife want to part ways, and the child tries to stop them.
how long to wait for the result?
Sometimes changes come immediately, at the moment of placement, for example, a person changes his attitude towards his parents, arrogance leaves, blocks that hindered the flow of energy. Sometimes it takes some time (from weeks to months), because the system is gradually being rebuilt. It largely depends on the willingness of a person to change, move in a new direction. Perestroika can be accompanied by crises - the old is crumbling to make room for the new, the scale is different.
what problems can arise as a result of violation of laws, are they specific?
The problems can be different. It all starts with the fact that violation of the laws leads to a violation in the flow of energy, and then it already takes on some form. It can be in the form of repetitive events, it can be in the form of illness, in the form of exhaustion, failure, it can be in the form of scandals or in the form of movement into death.
Good day! is one spread enough to solve the problem?
It all depends on the person and what the situation is. It happens that there are several weaves, a lot of things need to be worked out, but the person does not have enough energy (this manifests itself in different ways - the group gets tired, the person no longer wants or cannot, the information closes, it becomes as if empty, something leaves - the system is gone , and people are still standing). Then it is better to gradually shoot everything, with breaks between the setups, because sometimes it takes time to change. Also, a person needs to prepare, although often the mind can urge, say "faster, faster". Do not follow his lead. When a bust occurs, various mechanisms of protection of the psyche can be triggered, for example, a state of shock, inappropriate chuckles, complete rejection, a person does not hear, passes on deaf ears.
what could be the reason for failures in your personal life, why do men seem to be absent?
There can be many reasons. If we consider from the point of view of systems, then the influence, for example, can be from the family system, as well as from systems of previous relationships. Examples of causes stemming from systemic disorders: the daughter is in a symbolic marriage, where her husband is replaced by the father, or the feeling that marrying her husband is dangerously passed on from someone else, or the mother is not accepted and then the flow of female energy attractive to men , declines, or the daughter is trying to keep her parents from divorce, she directs all her strength and attention there. Previous relationships can influence in such a way that with a visible separation, in fact, the relationship is not completed (some energy attracts a friend to a friend, for example, a feeling of resentment, aggression, claims, love), then the person hangs in them, is busy and cannot go further, is in the past and is experiencing. Sometimes it happens that a woman finds a man, but the flow is still focused on another person. Then both the man and their children receive less attention, warmth, energy.
is it possible to remove the impact of systems on a person? protect yourself from it?
You can learn to track their influence, and then make a decision to act in accordance with what the egregor wants or in a different way. Much is imposed because a person does not track the source of impulses for action and perceives all impulses as his own, respectively, without hesitation, implements (see the description of the process in the example "Consultation with a psychologist"). One of the main points in helping a person with family weaves is to show that the role that the person is playing was played by another person, that it is imposed. When a person sees this, then there is a disidentification. In the constellation, the role is returned back to one of the ancestors. For more information, see the articles: "Egregors", "The invisible world and its impact on a person", "Identification, awareness, free will and choice."
Please tell me what could be the cause of the guilt?
Feelings of guilt can be inherited through the family system from one of the ancestors. Feelings of guilt can arise in case of violation of the internal ethics of the system, i.e. rules, i.e. the system shows the person what actions are desirable and approved by the system, and what are not (see "Conscience"). Also, guilt can appear in the event of an imbalance in a relationship with a person.
what type of arrangement is best for problem solving? do they differ in efficiency?
Different types of constellations (with deputies, on anchors, in the imagination, on Skype ...) can be considered as tools, and in some situation some are better suited, in some - others. The main thing is to diagnose the source of the problem and work it out.
Can I see what's going on in my organization?
i happened to encounter the constellation method and nothing came of it, except for a deep distrust of it. I doubt that any person participating in the constellation is capable of capturing and correctly interpreting (transmitting in the constellation) information from the subtle world. After all, for this you need to "block" your I - "disconnect", and this is a very complex process that requires preparation. Am I wrong about something? and whether there were any cases in your practice when the constellations "did not work".
I doubt that any person participating in the constellation is able to catch and correctly interpret (transmit in the constellation) information from the subtle world
Yes, capturing and fully interpreting correctly is a really difficult task. To interpret, you need to know yourself well enough (the better, the more accurate it will be) and to have energy. Sometimes a person feels, but he cannot say, he cannot translate into words.
But, to work in the constellation, it is not necessary that the deputies be “ideal” and show and tell everything. Often, small basic feelings or light movements are enough (for example, a person says he is feeling sad, or is angry with another, or looks at the floor). These are all tips that help the presenter navigate, show where to go. So gradually, step by step, the ball is unraveled.
Much depends on the leader, on how well he can interpret the signals and the fact that the substitutes live, but do not notice for themselves, can be quite noticeable and understandable for the leader. Signals go not only from substituents (there are arrangements without substituents), but also directly to the leader, images of what is happening can arise. Hellinger, for example, had a constellation where a woman, as soon as she sat down to him, wanted to start asking some questions (but these were not at all those questions, not true ones). He didn’t let her say anything, they sat for a couple of minutes, and after a pause he says: you know, you’re going to leave (that is, the woman is moving into death). And everything ... it was to the point. The woman felt everything well, cried, she knew it inside, but most likely she never confessed to anyone, and she wanted to make the arrangement about something completely different (see article “ Is the customer always right? "). Formally, the placement has not yet begun, but a lot has already been done.
and whether there were any cases in your practice when the constellations "did not work"
I look at the constellations as good idea, equipment for working with field processes. But this is a technique, not a guaranteed result. The result may not be (or completely different than the client wanted) for many reasons, including those depending on the leader and the client (for example, the request was superficial, without energy, no one was interested in it, and the leader did not notice it. , it would not be very good if Hellinger did not listen, did not look deeper, but immediately began to arrange what the woman wanted).
An interesting article, a kind of combination of Western psychology with some of the approaches of bondage.
Kabbalists believe that a person can influence his fate by influencing his environment.
Of course, these approaches do not give universal answers, but the direction is correct ...
Thank you for your feedback. Sometimes the intersection, synthesis of several directions, allows you to highlight additional facets of life, they enrich each other. Each direction has its own advantages and strengths.
What effect does the constellation and elaborate flow have on siblings and other relatives above and below the knee? Thank you.
Depends on the situation in the system and the constellation, as well as on all the listed family members. The constellation helps to make changes in the system, as a result of which the roles and relationships between elements can partially change. As for the descendants, when the ancestors acquire a certain quality, the likelihood of transferring this quality to the descendant increases (for example, warmth instead of the former coldness).
Please tell me if the constellation will help if you can't start a family (get married, have a child) when there is no apparent reason (cute, smart, health is all right)
Arrangement is a method. Like any other method, it is a tool that in itself does not provide any guarantees. There are factors that affect a person. They can be conditionally divided into two groups - those related to the family system of dynamics, which are not recognized, and personal traumas and features acquired in the current life, over which a person needs to work (and, as a rule, which he also does not notice). You can work on the first group of factors in the constellation, on the second - in the framework of counseling, analysis. In both situations, a lot depends on the person himself.
It is also desirable to take into account the fact that desire can be false, for example, formed as a result of the action of psychological defenses or under the influence of the environment.
Is it possible to find out the reasons with the help of constellations chronic diseases, or, for example, find out why a person behaves in a certain way, what programs are embedded in him, and whether they help to understand the person who he really is and what is his purpose? Thank))
About diseases. Sometimes - yes, you can find out and eliminate. See also the answer to the previous comment.
Why a person behaves in a certain way - there are many factors. Some forms of behavior, including those unconsciously adopted from someone from the family members, originate in the family system. About the sources of desires, motivation, programs - see the article "Fulfillment of desires" and others.
Understanding yourself and what a person's goal is is a gradual process. The first step towards it is to start observing your inner peace, to highlight what is false in it, introduced, what forces are acting. To begin to consistently reduce the number of internal and external lies, then the picture becomes more transparent.
And what is the influence of the Orthodox egregor on people? is this good or bad?
I can't say anything unequivocally that something good or bad depends on how you look. You can find both good and bad in everything. Egregor can help people, but at the same time, it charges a fee, requires service.
Hello! Tell me if I understand correctly so that the arrangement will bring desired result, you need to tell frankly and in detail about yourself and your family.
Is it possible in this case, in order to maintain confidentiality, to use pseudonyms and come to terms by changing the external image?
Will this have an impact on the outcome and are such changes fundamentally important for the work of the constellation therapist? Thank you in advance.
Indeed, there are times when a person, for one reason or another, would not like to take his situation outside. In this case, you can make a one-on-one arrangement with a specialist in whom you have confidence. Sometimes a special group of non-visitors also gathers (for example, when you need to make an arrangement related to a business and you don't want to advertise).
Telling frankly - yes, within the framework of what the work will take place, the specialist may need some information (for example, if you are working on relationships in the current family, have there been any connections, have you been married for the first time and others - depends on the situation).
Closedness can interfere with the process (but, as a rule, people are closed to one degree or another, since the topics are complex). To some extent, a person (and the field that guides him) unconsciously sets to what depth it is necessary and possible to dive.
Another moment. Speaking abstractly, many problems arise when some life experience of a family or a person is denied, rejected, excluded. The constellation often involves the manifestation and acceptance of this experience, so some stories may be revealed.
3 days ago I made an arrangement for ease in relations with a married man (after all, pain and suffering appear when you resist) I have one desire - to learn to appreciate myself, and forget about a 10-year-old romance! After the placement, I feel that something has changed, but I often remember him, even waking up, I understand what I think of him (but I don’t cry anymore). The question is how to help yourself not to think about him?
Svetlana, please see the article "Social Interactions", maybe something will respond.
It would be helpful to understand and understand why you are thinking about him. You can also see the article "Fulfillment of Desires" - there is about psychological defenses and suppression, as well as questions and comments at the very bottom (thoughts, emotions, some states can be viewed as signals about something, there is some kind of force behind them. Its gross suppression can lead to various consequences.). Are you not crying because it is "necessary" (ie suppressing) or is it really an internal process as a result of which the need for tears has gone?
About not thinking about him. Sometimes immersion in some other activity helps. But, this is a form of displacement, compensation. The most important thing is to understand why you think about this man and start from this (for example, you want a relationship, perhaps not necessarily with this man, but he and thinking about him is a symbol. I will explain with an example. When a person has some kind of desire, he can be strongly attracted to those people with whom this desire can be realized, and as soon as the desire is realized, he may find that the desire to be with these people has disappeared, that there is nothing in common).
And there is still a question - why?
Please tell me if it is possible for me to participate in the constellations of my problem as a substitute for one of the participants in my own situation? I really want to feel his condition myself.
Violation of what family laws can push you to move into death?
Is it possible with the help of constellations to get a monetary debt from a dishonest person? Or should I analyze this situation from a balance point of view and understand that no one owes me anything? But then how can I protect myself from the negative energetic influence of this person who does not want to repay the debt? (suppress an unpleasant destructive feeling in yourself).
Should / should not be a difficult question sometimes, because human interactions are complex, as a rule. If a person has not fully figured out the issue and began to actively act, then he can break the woods. It happens that something happens that seems unfair, and then, after a while, a person can look at the situation differently. When a person is deceived, when it's hard, he takes something out of the situation, learns something (perhaps, he begins to look at himself and notice that this can be in himself). As a lesson. There are also various subtleties, for example, not the person himself, but through him money is withdrawn for something (for example, he did not give it to someone to whom he should have given, and after a while the money is taken from him, he somehow loses it ).
But then how can I protect myself from the negative energetic influence of this person who does not want to repay the debt?
I don’t know your situation, what kind of relationship you have with the person, whether there has been any conflict or whether there was before. People, often decent, but sometimes some additional factors interfere with this moment to repay a debt. Didn't you ask why he doesn't want to? In what form did you talk to him (sometimes there is such a form that you don’t want to give at all, for example, when there was a conflict)? Does he acknowledge the debt? Sometimes you can talk with a person delicately, accept the situation and decide together how he will give what he owes. Perhaps he has some difficulties now.
It happens that the only available way at the moment is to accept, to accept that the debt will not be returned, so as not to wind up yourself, not to poison both yourself and the person. Adapt and move on. An internal request from a good state (without malice, with respect) to return a debt can help. Such requests can work well for more than just debt. There are consequences for the debtor.
On this topic, you can see the article "Social interactions" and "Loss and return of the soul", as well as read the story of Leo Tolstoy "Karma" (see "Useful books").
In December 2013, I made an arrangement at the request of money, business, improvement of well-being. The arrangement did not work out, i.e. by your definition« By itself, the arrangement is not only something to look at, but also the impact, as well as a change in the situation, i.e. it is organized to do some work that is important» - the alignment did not work out, the coach did not identify the reason, etc. Is this also some kind of indicator for me or in the professionalism of a coach?
I must add that during these 4 months my situation has worsened even more.
Bdagodar.
Was the arrangement about you personally or about the organization?
About the quote:
By itself, the arrangement is not only something to look at, but also the impact, as well as a change in the situation, i.e. it is organized to do some work that is important
This work is not necessarily what the client asked for, at the level of words, mind (see, for example, the article "Is the client always right?"). It may be helpful to see the article “Soul Loss and Retrieval” There is a client, there is a specialist and there is a field. Field - guides. If something goes against the flow, then the energy from the arrangement (as well as from some sphere of life) can leave, it crumples, goes through the force, "nothing is visible." Sometimes the cause of any trouble is unethical behavior towards oneself or others - the quality is blocked and the energy does not flow. Improvement comes as a result of learning lessons, better understanding, change.
If the trainer did not identify the cause, then there may be many options - for example, perhaps the root of the problem lies in another area, it may be a consequence of something or a way to pay attention to something, to correct the course.
Perhaps you should pay attention to your condition. What it is. Better or worse. Is there something that happened relatively recently (for example, half a year ago)? Is there energy in what you are doing or does everything go through force, through forcing yourself? If through force, then what can be done to change the situation? (see also the article "Why all this" and comments to it). This can shed light on important points - potential points of work.
In what way is the “ability to connect to energy field", Is absolutely any person able to" connect "to him so easily?
each person is constantly connected to one or another field. There are different fields on the constellation, including the field of the family system, the representative of which is the person (which could have brought the given person to the constellation). Not all fields can be connected. see the article "Egregors" about this.
Connection to one level or another is due to the direction of attention (as a rule, this all happens unconsciously - a person is in some place and begins to read and work out egregorial instructions.if a person is not welcome in this place, then he can be pushed out of there, egregor will direct discomfort, make attacks). If there is no access to a certain layer, and a person is persistently trying to enter, then he can simply connect to another layer, which will induce certain states to him, dictate his will, etc. If a person does not follow the instructions of the field, does not catch his message, then he can also jump to some other. This means that sometimes the arrangement can be significantly pro-planned (for example, because someone stopped catching the signals of the field and began to focus on some of their former patterns, or, in places where the person himself has a lack of development, his behavior begins become very tough, or he ceases to notice something, is blocked, the person is on a different wave), there may also be some movements, actions of people, but they will have a very distant relation to the real situation.
I read a lot in this direction, I may be wrong, but the closest in meaning is Vadim Zelanda, the author of the theory "Reality Transurfing". It turns out that egregors (the personality inside us that you energetically feed is the same pendulums? The field, layers are the space of options ?, the arrangement is "highlighting" of the possible options?
Hello, thank you for the useful and informative information.
Please help me understand why girls often choose unconsciously unsuitable partners for themselves?
How can you do the placement yourself? Or is it better to conduct the constellation under the guidance of a lead psychologist?
It takes experience to do the placement yourself. You can start by reading Hellinger's books. It is not necessary to make the constellation literally, sometimes the awareness and identification of the "tails" is enough for the problems to be transformed.
Good day. Does regular viewing of video seminars of Hellinger's constellations somehow help in personal systemic problems person?
Each person has their own characteristics. One time is enough for someone and further interest does not arise to look. Someone is interested in watching several times, attuning and getting something new for themselves each time.
Therefore, it is all individual. You can ask yourself inside the question of whether it is interesting, and observe whether there is a real benefit (for example, a person forgave someone close to him for what he could not accept before, became softer), whether there are changes. The purpose of these or those events is internal change. Internal changes will lead to external changes.
On the other hand, you can look in different ways, and regular viewing can serve the purpose of calming the mind, which says that it is engaged in a useful business, is transforming. In fact, the person avoids meeting his problems and leaves the study. A person tries to replace his inner work with external specious measures.
Guarantees and promises about something can tempt a person to shift the full responsibility to someone who guarantees and does not make the necessary personal efforts to make what he wants. A person can look a large number of times, but having closed, not letting energy into the heart, not revising his life, not transforming himself.
If there is interest, attunement and inner workthen viewing the records of the Teachers can be a good help in transformation. Teachers transmit wisdom and grace, allow you to go beyond the boundaries of the previous framework.
Information about egregors is the personal opinion of the author (which is not indicated), why weave it to the name of Hellinger, who never mentioned this, and misinform people. The examples are rather strange - whose practice are they from?
From Hellinger's book "The Source Doesn't Need to Ask for a Path":
Rupert Sheldrake describes in his books the properties and action of morphogenetic fields - force fields that determine certain structures. He told me that in the process of family constellations one can directly observe how morphogenetic fields work.
I wondered if his observations were applicable to other things as well? And what if a certain group of people is connected with a certain way of thinking, which makes it difficult for such a group to process of awareness. Are the events taking place in the family a model that is determined by the morphogenetic field of the family? If, for example, someone in the family committed suicide, suicide is often repeated in subsequent generations. This happens not only because a family member wants to follow the deceased, but also because a pattern has been created.
Sheldrake noticed that when a new crystal was formed, its structure had not yet been set. If a new crystal is formed in the same bond, its structure is similar to that of the first crystal. This is the memory of the first crystal. This means that the morphogenetic field has memory. Therefore, each new crystal is likely to be similar to the first. In the process of repeated repetition, a certain sample is fixed. Perhaps similar destinies are developing in a similar way.
Aborting the sample
This movement must be interrupted. Recognizing this movement and interrupting it takes a lot of courage to do something fundamentally new. If the interruption succeeds, this is a special achievement. Interruption cannot be achieved simply by going with the flow. It is necessary to retreat. Instead of going with the flow, you need to go ashore, look at the river, recognize the old and recognize the new. Then decide what to do.
The examples are rather strange - whose practice are they from?
if you allow yourself not to reject and observe more closely, they will become examples from your practice. The following paragraph is from The Source Doesn't Need to Ask for Paths:
The family has a memory. Information from family memory that is born is a gift. But this gift is held firmly by the darkness and the hidden where it came from. This means that its essence remains hidden for us. We do not know "where" he is and "where." It is hidden not only from us, it is hidden in general, which means that we do not have access to it. We can and dare to dispose of this gift only at the moment when it appears to us, and must stop when it disappears again.
What is revealed does not reveal to us the hidden and secret, it is shown within certain boundaries. Our views overshadow it, superimposing on what has emerged. Our own view of this (if it has formed) enables us to remain subjective and stands in the way of knowledge. What has emerged, on the contrary, pushes us towards the unfamiliar, unusual and new.
Concentrating in the process of such work, we turn our gaze on what remains hidden, what is beyond the revealed. We obey not only what is revealed, but also what remains hidden, what has appeared and disappeared again. We are in harmony with both movements and obey both. In this work, the essential is revealed, therefore it is not limited to the superficial, for example, only the healing of the disease. Therefore, it is significantly more important than psychotherapy as such.
Good afternoon, Alexey.
Recently I heard that after constellations it is recommended not to take any important decisions within a month. To what extent is this recommendation valid?
Alena, good afternoon!
The fact that a month is conditional, in each specific case you need to look at individually (and what is important and what is not - each person can evaluate in his own way. The fact that a person came to the constellation, as well as the conclusions to which he consciously or unconsciously came in the process - this is very important). The fact is that a person has done work, new energies have come and it is necessary to process them, change, which takes time, and also some people can bring disharmony with their sharp explicit initiatives (a person from his mind can fossil processes that are still being built, and therefore People, systems, have their own speed of change, transformation, if it is not taken into account, then you can overload and create additional difficulties. Carrots grow at their own pace, if it is pulled by force, it will not be better). When the person inside changed, when he switched to new level awareness, new energies, he can notice how the reality around him began to gradually change, which takes time.
Thanks for the detailed article, but I had a question at the very beginning. How did Bert Hellinger understand that past events affect the present? So he saw it in the lives of the test subjects? How many such cases were there? And what if the history of one of the branches of the genus is unknown? That is, we cannot direct the event because we do not know about it. Or is it just this event? Then it turns out that the arrangement based on known facts won't help us. How do I know if I know enough about my family history to know if the constellation will help me build relationships in my family?
And what if the history of one of the branches of the genus is unknown? That is, we cannot direct the event because we do not know about it.
Tatiana, the event is not directed during the placement. Often, even questions about the family's past are not asked, or the specialist asks them one-on-one. Next, substitutes are placed in the constellation (in certain roles) and they begin to broadcast what they feel (they usually do not know about family stories.It is even better that those who are not familiar with the family and the person who ordered the constellation participate in the constellation - so that there is no flattering). Sometimes the constellation is done blindly - the substitutes are introduced into the constellation without mentioning what role they play. Feelings, sensations, experiences on the participants are directed by the field. Sometimes what is important appears, but what was previously hidden was not discussed in the family.
How do I know if I know enough about my family history to know if the constellation will help me build relationships in my family?
It is necessary to consult with a specialist with whom you are potentially planning to do the placement. Sometimes it happens that other activities, such as a consultation, may be better suited instead of placement.
Hello, thank you for talking so clearly and clearly about the incomprehensible and invisible. And about the assemblage point, and about vampirism. I learned a lot of useful things, thank you!
If a person is given good, and if he cannot give the good in proportion, then he gives the bad, devalues, humiliates ...
The question is: why can't this person also give the good? Doesn't want to? Or does he simply not have this good? ...
It happens in different ways, it is necessary to consider each situation separately. For example, he may not have something commensurate with what he received (the relationship between parents and child, student and teacher). There may be greed as well. And it may also be that the one who gives thinks that he is giving something good, but in fact it is not so (often, outwardly beautiful words and gestures may hide not so beautiful internal motives that a person may not even be aware, for example, in order to rise above another). In the latter case, the reaction of the recipient may not be outside, but on the content, and then the desire to depreciate, humiliate to seem quite adequate for the subconscious. Also, the subconscious mind is engaged in maintaining life and it can be very tenacious to resources, and therefore it can be difficult for it to give.
Hello!
Participated in the arrangement as a deputy. It seems that after the placement I took off this image. But after the night I understand that I missed it. The same sensations as during the constellation. Plus dreams reflecting that situation. What to do in this case?
Elena, good afternoon! Try what it says here: "Getting out of the obsessive state." Further, it is important not to close your thoughts on the previous state, to switch and keep your attention on something else.
Also see if there is any resonance in what was in line with your situation? The subconscious mind may remind you of something that is worth paying attention to.
Alexey, please tell me, sometimes I watch constellations, or the work of gestal therapists, and I ask myself a question: when I was 19-20 years old, I had 4 abortions for a short period of up to 2 weeks. I well understand that at that time I could not give birth to these children. At that time in my life, this was the best decision I made for these children. And I have no guilt towards these aborted children. This is normal? I look at many women, how they suffer and so on, and I am afraid that I do not suffer. thank
In a family of one young man the dog began to get very sick and it was decided to put her to sleep. Then the dog was buried. The young man did not have any feelings then, except for a slight relief. That period in a person's life was a hard black stripe, and caring for a dog, besides other tasks and difficulties, lay entirely on him. After about 7 years, gradually thawing, he shed a lot of tears about his dog. He gradually realized that, probably, there was no other way out then, but there was pain and it was inside all these years, but in a depressed state. Previously, he thought that he survived the death of the dog easily and that it did not affect him in any way. For some strong experiences, a person's access may be temporarily closed. A person can have a certain threshold, a level of pain that they can live through and process. If there are no resources for living, if this level goes beyond, then experiences can simply be blocked and suppressed. The subconscious mind, as a measure of protection, can block a person's attempts to penetrate deeper (a person, for example, can forget something, not go deep into something).
This is not necessary in your case, but it is worth taking a closer look.
Good day! Can you please tell me what is meant by a business-related arrangement? Setting up for the success of your business?
With the help of the constellation, you can identify and solve issues that are in one way or another related to the business. For example, this can be the identification of relationships between employees, bottlenecks, potential sources of problems and difficulties, what is in the way, decision making lines, choosing a suitable position for an employee, balances within the organization.
Hello. How can constellation help improve your relationship with your teenage son? Remove bad habits and regain respect. thank
Lyudmila, I can't write any algorithm. For some situations, an arrangement is better, and for others, something else. Here it is necessary to make an arrangement, and the organizer already looks at the situation and makes some decisions. Or, within the framework of the consultation, to understand what is happening, in your relationship, as well as the characteristics of you and your child, to find out what he wants.
Hello Alexey!
Can constellations be harmful or dangerous? For example, the role (program, energy) transmitted by a person in the field remains, does not leave him. And there is no strength, experience, skills and knowledge (both one's own and a specialist's) to get rid of the "obsession". What, in your opinion, can be the consequences in such situations?
You should not treat anything superficially and rashly. Any method, if it has great potential, great impact force, then, accordingly, a lot can be done with it. Fire can be used for good, but it can also bring trouble if you are not treated with it. Constellation is working at a deep level using collective energy.
Artyom, yes, some roles can be very unpleasant for a person, for example, a long stay in some destructive roles. Sometimes the constellation goes in the wrong place and this can be perceived by the participants as a depressing state, when the energy quickly ends and heaviness piles on (for example, when the request is not correct, and the specialist, for one reason or another, follows the client's lead). But, as a rule, this is individual, and if it is unpleasant to be in the role, then you can ask the presenter to replace you. If it didn't work out in the usual ways (usually this is some kind of ritual at the end of each constellation, when, for example, the client comes up to each participant and says: “You are not my dad, you are Fedya”, shaking, etc. “Smoke breaks”, ie tea and communication with others also help a person to shift his assemblage point to another position), try the technique of getting out of the obsessive state. You can take a contrast shower. And it is very important not to mentally stick to the plot, i.e. you need to remove the role and, by a strong-willed effort, transfer your attention to something else, winding up strengthens the contact, a person feeds a connection with the object of his attention.
The fact that a person does not have the strength, experience, knowledge and skills - this can be a garter, a program that instills uncertainty, a person begins to wind himself up and himself, by his own forces makes an elephant out of a fly, i.e. he would have had enough just to switch his attention and everything would be fine, but the doubt that was put into him can begin to torment him (some people “wind up” and tie their clients in this way: that is, he scared, gave rise to doubt, a person is himself arranged everything and then runs to the one who will relieve him of the problem).
Some psychics have such a safety technique so as not to stew in the client's problems, not to feed him energetically - they simply forget what they talked about with him as soon as he left, i.e. they turn off and no longer stick to the client's problems, so as not to be a battery. The specialist, one way or another, in close interaction with the client, comes into contact with those energies in which the person lives, i.e. for him this is not just a conversation, and if there is no protection, safety precautions are not followed, then you can thoroughly load up. These processes take place not only in constellations, but in general everywhere (for example, when communicating, another person can put on a certain role on a person, transfer energy). The role connects a person to certain objects of the subtle plane. They say that one actor, after playing some difficult role, each time got drunk until he lost consciousness in order to break this connection. The role can also resonate with some program that the person already has, the role simply activates something inside him, a process that is not associated with the arrangement can begin to unfold.
A person is very complex, he does a lot unconsciously, including, for example, he can use some kind of stunning methods to disconnect from an unwanted signal, as well as internal systems, which are aimed at its restoration and maintenance in a certain stable state (this is their plus and minus - for positive changes, too, sometimes it is necessary to overcome inertial resistance. See the example of jumping out of the state through chatter). The body sometimes knows very well what and how to do.
These egregors and systems are very similar to the pendulums in the books of Zeland, can't you just refuse to participate with family systems? The system described by the author looks like a playful, capricious puppeteer, as for me there is nothing good and instructive in them. Even if you take the case with a mother who wanted to have an abortion, and her daughter, didn’t my daughter exclude her mother in any way correctly? for some reason, according to the laws of hierarchy, at the whim of the system, I began to experience suicidal feelings. Well, my daughter took over these feelings from her mother ... (then it turns out that the mother no longer feels guilty?). In general, I mean that if the daughter really had to understand is that systems are dangerous, and need to be more cold-blooded ...
can't you just refuse to participate in family systems?
A person does not just get in and is in some system. He has certain tasks in front of her, as well as support, privileges, protection from the system. Also, a person, usually, all the signals that arise from him, perceives as "I".
as for me there is nothing good or instructive in them at all.
I suggest looking in more detail. Sometimes a person has a desire to give up something abruptly and recklessly. Take and reject something that he does not like (he already has certain ideas about how it should be. Where from? Sometimes these ideas are suggestions of the same systems). There is also a tendency to find some kind of enemy outside and to attribute all misfortunes and all bad things to him.
In general, I mean that if my daughter really had to understand something, it's that the systems are dangerous, and you need to be more cold-blooded
I propose to look at systems, including as organizing structures that direct. The system, for example, by directing a certain state, can solve important problems, the solution of which is important for all participants in the system. Some categorical decisions, when a person does not see all the connections, difficulties and consequences, can lead to an aggravation of the situation. Awareness and manifestation is very important - this gives a lot for the situation to change.
Frequent subconscious expectations of a person, which can hardly be called constructive, are as follows:
- the arrangement will solve all my problems;
- the constellator has to do exactly what I want;
- i need to go to the constellation and nothing else is required from me;
- i do not bear any responsibility, the organizer is responsible for the result, he must do something and come up with something so that everything is good;
- to achieve the desired result, you just need to do more constellations (there are people who are ready to do constellations every other day);
- i will make the arrangement and everything will work out right away, the desired result should appear immediately;
- if there was no miracle, if emotions were not gushing like a river, then this is not an arrangement at all;
- the situation will change, but I will remain the same;
- by paying for the placement, I pay for the guaranteed result.
On the last point. Payment goes for the time, experience and attention of the specialist, as well as the attention of other participants, for the maintenance of the office and other administrative costs. The psyche is very complex, a person has various connections with systems - and all this affects him. Recklessly guaranteeing something is very presumptuous, you can only move in a certain direction (in accordance with the Movement of the Spirit). A person's desires can be false, due to one reason or another, unrealizable, as well as leading to negative consequences that a person is not aware of. During the movement, both the current request and the perception of what the person wanted before can change.
can i order a placement from you?
at the moment consultation is possible only by e-mail.
Alexey, hello! Thank you for such an informative article! I have a question: can descendants pay for the mistakes of their ancestors (this can include both abortion and alcoholism) by pursuing constant failures, financial problems, work? The general feeling from life is continuous difficulties, it is not easy to live constantly in anticipation of at least something good ... And will the constellation be effective in this situation? thank
And will the deployment be effective in this situation?
See also the comment above, please.
Hello! I am very susceptible to negative influences from other people. When I fall under the influence of a certain person, I seem to lose my individuality. I begin to experience completely extraneous emotions and feelings (for example, a feeling of strong guilt, although there is no reason for this) and I perceive these feelings and thoughts as my own. That is, I constantly stand in the place of the figure at which the negative energy some kind of person. And I take on the role of this figure. Why is this happening? Why am I always identifying with someone? As if pulling me into someone else's role. Thank.
Or maybe all people constantly fall under someone's influence and you need to be able to see it and disidentify in time?
Why is this happening? Why am I always identifying with someone? As if pulling me into someone else's role.
Perhaps it's not the role or the impact, but good sensitivity, when one person captures the state of the other well. It can also be useful. If the sensations are unpleasant, then you can try to disidentify, for example, using the technique for getting out of the obsessive state.
It is also advisable to try to track the situations in which the capture is taking place. Perhaps the sensations of others are projections, i.e. with the help of others, a suppressed energy within is manifested, to which a person does not want to pay attention.
Assuming the idea that a man's craving for a young girl is an unconscious longing for unborn child, what is the right attitude to this man's wife?
Elena, the situation, I think, is difficult and painful, but she is needed for something, probably for some kind of internal changes. Crises can serve as a source of growth, a way to make a person look at something, penetrate deeper into a situation, and discover something new for himself. Crises through pain give energy to change, and can stimulate learning.
Assuming the idea that a man's craving for a young girl is an unconscious longing for an unborn child
The point is that this is a hypothesis. And it is better to check the hypothesis. In particular, for example, in the constellation, to see how things are going. Situations are different, the reasons for this or that behavior may be different. You can understand the situation and not within the framework of constellations, for example, to understand what it is for you personally, what feelings you are experiencing and what can be done with the current situation, what you want inside. Also, since a family situation, it would be good to know what a man thinks, how he feels, how he looks at the situation, how he is inside. What are the circumstances of living together.
Outwardly the same consequences can be the result of different influences, and therefore it is advisable to consider each situation as unique, without any attempts to adjust it to a certain pattern or desired expectations.
Also, it is advisable to remember that the subconscious mind can actively impose some hypotheses on a person: for one reason or another, they are convenient for him (for example, there is already a certain arrangement, there is property, there is some adjustment, convenience and predictability), and then look at the situation, delve into her deeper can be painful for him and fraught with big entanglements. The subconscious mind can include various psychological defenses.
what is the right attitude to this man's wife?
As a rule, there is no way to change the attitude to the situation with a conscious decision, the subconscious has its own attitude and it stands on it (“you can lead a horse to the river, but you cannot make it drink”). A person can only suppress, closing himself off from information and experiences, but they will not go away. The attitude to the situation changes when the person inside changes, when there is an essential restructuring, i.e. the change in attitude goes indirectly, through development.
The question of how it is correct - each person has his own answer inside, he consciously or unconsciously accepts his choice. For one, one thing is right, for another, another. Someone can accept the situation as it is and continue to live together, but, having switched to something else, the situation does not suit someone at all and, for example, decides to disperse, the third one decides to investigate the topic. And the situations themselves can be different: sometimes the relationship has come to an end, people are not interested in each other, the plot is complete, and further holding the situation leads only to an increase in tension.
Alexey, thank you for the information, for the calmness and wisdom with which you answer questions
Hello, thank you for the article! Self-esteem and how to learn to trust your inner voice, where can you find information?
Please advise
About self-esteem. Self-esteem often depends on what a person is identified with, i.e. it is not constant, but can change periodically. For example, a person was in a bad mood, he made mistakes as an employee, was worried about this, it seems to him that he cannot do anything, and then, at a football match, his favorite team won and he felt a surge of strength, joy, confidence, feeling that he can move mountains. A person can be identified with any long-term programs, serve High ideals, receive strength and support from them, which can give him a certain stability in self-esteem, then he looks at the situation that happens to him in life, from the position of the object to which it serves (for example, it implements big project and within the framework of this project, a hitch or an error at work looks insignificant, the main thing is that he sees that he is gradually, step by step moving forward). Also, a person can change the object of his identification quite chaotically, then his mood, self-esteem and sensation can also roll chaotically (see the description of an infantile personality in the article "Levels of personality development").
Behind a person can be a certain egregor (for example, family or team) and the person is perceived as self-confident, powerful, with high self-esteem. This, at times, egregor gives him strength, energy, confidence, stability, support, as well as instructions on what to do and how. A person uses the resources and potential of a team to advance the interests of that team. Egregor gives strength, energy, shapes events, allows you to have a more powerful effect on other people, hypnotize them (shift their assemblage point), and fascinate. When the egregor departs from a person, then a person can become completely different: his charisma, confidence and power can evaporate.
From time to time, you can come across advice on what you need to raise your self-esteem (for example, in the areas of sales, management). But it is far from always useful to do it with straightforward methods, self-hypnosis, tough commands. Sometimes a person pumps himself up, says that he has high self-esteem, that he is confident in himself and tries to behave like a confident person, like one who has high self-esteem. But, if there is nothing behind this (for example, some object, quality that gives strength, confidence), then he is forced to use various psychological defenses in order to hide situations and signs from himself that he is not confident in himself, where is the external the manifestation of his self-esteem does not correspond to what he thinks he should be. Tension grows inside a person, he looks tough, angular, artificial, fussy. Several different forces are fighting inside him, this weakens him, fetters him energetically, and at one moment he can not stand and all that unreal bubble that he has pumped bursts, and the person finds himself in an energy hole, depression. All the old superficial floats before his gaze, which can be a strong blow. Perseverance, perseverance are manifested while there is energy, if there is no energy, if nothing feeds this perseverance, then they can evaporate.
Sometimes it is better to raise self-esteem indirectly, when a person, for example, serves a certain quality, ideal, gradually develops, gains experience, and his self-esteem, self-confidence, and stability grows imperceptibly. Those. self-esteem can change as a result of work on oneself, indirectly, when a person does a certain job, learns to overcome the resistance of the material. For the development of any qualities in oneself, it is necessary to remember about the Sautrn principle: systematically, gradually, without sudden unprepared jumps, otherwise the more rigid constraining and limiting qualities of this planet may turn on, including in the form of the effects described above. Saturn is responsible for depression, stiffness, lack of energy, in its high octave it is responsible for wisdom (see also about Saturn).
Thank you very much, Alexey for the materials and your work.
Within the framework of the commentary, it is not possible to answer personal questions (“why is it like this for me?”, “How can I do to ...?”, “How should I proceed?”, “Is it useful for me ...?” And the like). Such questions often do not have a ready-made answer, and require studying the specific situation of a person and working with him, i.e. one or more consultations. See the parable at the very beginning of the article "Systems of interpretation".
Questions "is it effective ...?" "Will it help me ...?", "Who should I choose?" often presuppose the expectation of a certain guarantee on my part, but I cannot give it, since if, for example, a person goes to a specialist or does something on his own, then I do not control this process in any way, I am not responsible for it, and I can not promise anything.
