How to let go of the situation: advice from psychologists. How to let go of the situation: practical recommendations and advice from a psychologist

Looping a person on any situation does not give him the opportunity to live in the present. Why do some people manage to move forward, overcoming obstacles, difficulties, betrayal, pain associated with certain life stories, while others still stubbornly cling to the negative of the past and do not want to let go of the situation?

The past is necessary and can be let go if your true motivation is to live in this world

Let's see how you can still let go of the past? Perhaps someone will want to object to me and say that the past cannot be let go, and how can one refuse the past, in which there was so much good and valuable: joy, experience, meetings that gave pleasure and happiness at that time? I will answer simply - this article is written for those who really ask themselves the question: how to let go of the situation and live in the present?

1. The human psyche has a powerful resource for restoring emotional and mental health. Our psyche is arranged as follows: everything good and positive that was once with us, we, if desired, can remember in the smallest detail. For example, remember the first love: the sensations that she gave us, smells, a state of lightness, peace of mind. We can even remember the weather in summer garden on a date, all the objects around us: the clothes in which you and your loved one were dressed, the person’s smile, the first kiss and the “taste” of tenderness. In Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP), many techniques of working with a client are devoted to reproducing (remembering) the pleasant moments of life. Why this is needed, I will describe later.

2. Emotions control the thought and activity of a person by 98%. Why today a person is provided with a consultation of a family psychologist, psychologists of other areas? This opportunity today is available to everyone who thinks wider than the stereotype formed that all psychologists work for "fools" and crazy people. So, modern man overloaded with information negative character. Think about what television is showing you and your children today, radio reports, social networks and the Internet; What issues are being covered by the politics of all states and countries today? What kind of people surround you and what information do they bring to you? And what choice does a person have today in order to protect himself from unnecessary negativity imposed on society?

3. How to let go of the past? Start with yourself. Let go of unnecessary erroneous beliefs. It is important to note here that it is customary to consider the past as the events and plots of ancient years, as well as the situations of the past few days or weeks. How to let go of the situation and live calmly? A person's reaction to some of the actions and words of other people can be very painful, in other words, "hurting to the quick." What usually hurts (touches) a person? Many of us spoil our lives ourselves, clinging to our old beliefs and principles that prevent adequate communication with people and the world around us. We value our principles so much that we are afraid to abandon them, it is easier for us to break ties with people dear to us, so long as no one sees our mistakes, weaknesses. After all, if we give up some of our words that were once said, we will have to admit that we made a mistake. We do not want to change, although the world is changing daily and something no longer serves us to achieve our goals.

4. How to let go of the situation and improve the quality of life? So, let's look at an example from my practice. Once a woman came to me for a consultation, who can not let go of the past and continues to live the events of 20 years ago. What makes her today to be unhappy and to live thoughts in the past? Once upon a time, this woman had a family: a beloved husband and two wonderful children, who, unfortunately, at that moment were not of great value to her. She built a career and was only interested in her own development. Time passed, the children grew up, the husband got tired of the indifferent attitude towards himself and the children, and began to disappear more and more time at work, and eventually met a woman who appreciated him. At a time when my client's family was slowly falling apart, she did nothing to save it. The youth and beauty of this woman at that time meant much more to her than the family, and she calmly went to divorce her husband and still very much for a long time did not regret anything. Only 20 years later, she thought that nothing important had happened in her life, the children grew up and communicate with their father, and she is alone and nobody needs her. For 10 years, this woman lived with hatred and resentment towards her husband, who, according to her, after breaking up with her, was able to make a good career, create a wonderful family with another woman and has great respect and honor from her children, whose mother divorced a lot years ago. It was pity that brought her to me. She didn't want to change anything in her life. As they say, the train has left, and you need to live on, but she likes to live in suffering more. She was not interested in help, the belief that there are no men worthy of her around and self-pity about the lost promising past that she missed, today feeds her behavior and negative thoughts about ex-husband and children who value their father more than her.

5. How to let go of the past or how to let go of a situation? Recommendations for those who want to live happily:

• Answer yourself the question: "What are you fixated on?" Take apart the situation. For example, you broke off a relationship with a person because of your pride, arrogance.
• Notice for yourself what specifically prevents you from letting go of the situation? Perhaps this is an understatement, you have not put an end to the relationship. And it doesn’t matter that you last talked with a person a year ago, if you are still thinking about it today, then it is important today. So you are living in the past.
• What can you do now to let go of the past and start life from scratch? Is it possible to contact this person, write a letter, call, say something important? Take your chance, do what is important to you and what is no longer urgent.
• A letter with no address on my own. In psychological practice, there is a technique of therapeutic writing, which allows a person to understand himself and write on paper everything that worries. The task of this technique is to pull out from within everything that burdens your life and prevents you from feeling the joy of life. In fact, you are working with your own subconscious. You take a piece of paper, a pencil, and start writing to a specific person everything you want to say to him. The advantage of this technique is that it is easy to implement, and gives you the opportunity to write out everything, both good and bad, without hiding anything in your soul. The letter does not require you to send it. After working on it, you can burn it, hiding your thoughts from prying eyes.
• How to let go of the situation if it requires your quick and direct participation, inclusion in the process? Here we are talking about something that, for example, you have not done, do not want to do, or cannot decide on. Let's say you promised your child that you would take him to the park, but you didn't keep your promise and left on other business. The situation has not been resolved, your promise is a debt to the child, and debts must be repaid. What needs to be done to regain the child's trust and get rid of guilt before him? let go this situation, you can only keep your promise, asking the child for forgiveness if you feel that your behavior offended the child.
• Forgiveness is freedom from the past. How to ask for forgiveness and let go of the past? There is a whole algorithm of forgiveness steps. But, about them later. So asking for forgiveness often means regaining trust and good attitude with people. After all, we are all human, and it is human to err. Do not hold yourself proud and arrogant, ask for forgiveness if you feel that you have done wrong. You will feel much better at heart, you will regain your emotional and mental health. Make room for what's important to you today.
• How to let go of the past and live happily today? At the beginning of the article, I described the possibilities of our psyche to reproduce in memory memories of pleasant moments of life, which even today can give a resourceful state (excellent mood), get rid of the negativity accumulated over the years and rest internally. This state is similar to meditation, which is able to immerse a person in a relaxed state, give a calm state and balance. The state that every person needs. We all need to periodically plunge into this state, which can turn off the body from everyday fuss, problems, the crazy rhythm of life, behind which we sometimes do not have time to feel all the charm of our life. Years run, some generations are replaced by others, but every person strives for one thing throughout his life. main goal- go back to your roots. All our life we ​​do nothing but forget ourselves. We are controlled by unnecessary stereotypes, which often do not coincide with our internal rhythms. We want to live happily and with dignity, but we ourselves take someone else's scenario of life and try to walk this path at someone else's steps. People strive for someone else's success, fate, life, when they envy others. And we could develop ourselves and take care of our health, family, success.
• How to let go of the past or how to let go of the situation? Release yourself. What does it mean?

1. Let yourself want to be happy man.
2. Forgive yourself for past failures and failures.
3. Forgive yourself for the mistakes you once made, today they do not matter to anyone except you.
4. Thank yourself for the mistakes and actions you have made in the past. Today you have everything to let go of unnecessary thoughts, beliefs, actions. Make up your mind, you can do it.
5. It's never too late to let go of the past and become a happy person.

I wish you to let go of the past and live happily today, relying on the experience and foundation of the past. May there always be as much light and warmth in your life as there is in your soul.

Relationships with the man you love will fail if you attach too much importance to them. This is the law. If a crack has already appeared in feelings and relationships, then in order to preserve them, it is worth reducing the importance of what is desired, that is, letting go of the situation and not thinking about the bad. How to do this in practice, will tell "Popular about health."

Why you can't think bad?

More recently, you were happy, love completely absorbed all of your being, but now everything has changed - a chill has appeared in the relationship, understatement, discontent, resentment. The situation is heating up every day, a break is close. If you feel this, then it's time to stop thinking about the bad.

Negative thoughts certainly materialize, that is, they turn into events that happen to us. Thinking about parting, you bring it closer. Experiences, according to the reality transsurfing theory, are pendulums that bring chaos into our lives and prevent us from being happy. We feed their hesitation with our emotions. The more we think about the bad, worry, suffer, the stronger the destructive pendulum swings. If your goal is to maintain a relationship with a man, stop thinking about the bad, feed the pendulum.

How to stop worrying and worrying if bad thoughts constantly climb into your head? Take advantage of simple but in an efficient way- talk to your chosen one. It may be possible to find out who is dissatisfied with what or dispel doubts. If this option is not possible, write your experiences on a piece of paper, putting your energy into it, and then burn it. After that, it will certainly become easier, because bad thoughts will be destroyed before your eyes.

How to reduce importance in a relationship with a man?

Vadim Zeland recommends reducing the importance of our desires so that they come true faster. This rule applies to every area of ​​life. Surely you have noticed that what we long for, we are impatiently waiting for, not in a hurry to be fulfilled, various obstacles arise, etc. If we attach too much importance to something, then most of the energy is wasted on experiences, and therefore, on the swinging of a destructive pendulum. It will never be possible to achieve the fulfillment of a desire if the importance is too high. The same is true in relations with a man - impatience, indefatigable passion, too desire to be near him, to possess him will certainly lead to a deterioration in relations.

* You will die?
* Get sick with an incurable disease?
* Will you feel calm?
* What will you do without this man?

Usually, after such tricky questions asked to oneself, it becomes obvious that a particular person is not so important, because life will continue without him, nothing will happen. As soon as you manage to realize that in your life the main thing is yourself, and not him, the importance in the relationship will decrease a little. This will allow you to direct energy in the right direction - to maintain valuable relationships, and not swing harmful pendulums.

The same advice applies to women who are trying to find the man of their dreams. Passionate desire and constant thoughts about where to find him will not lead to desired result they will only get in the way. Thoughts about the bad - about loneliness, for example, also do not bode well. They will certainly materialize. How to be? Focus on yourself, setting the goal of successfully marrying. Having engaged in self-improvement, your appearance, you will not only be distracted from negative thoughts, but also let go of desire, reduce its importance. Then it will certainly come true.

How to let go of a situation in a relationship with a man?

But what if the relationship is not going well, and the man is about to leave? Let go of the situation. Let's take an example. Imagine that you grabbed a man by the throat, preventing him from even moving. Could this approach help to keep him?

On the contrary, this situation will lead to the fact that the victim will begin to defend himself, break out and fight back. The same thing happens in relationships. Persuasion, persecution, restriction of freedom will have the opposite effect.

If you want to improve relationships, you should show love, but do not put pressure on your loved one, do not limit his freedom of action. Let go of the situation, in other words, trust the Universe, give the solution to the issue to her, being sure that everything will turn out the most in the best way. By learning to let go of problems in relationships, you will become free from worries, resentments, disappointments, and everything in your life will work out so that you will be happy.

What conclusions can be drawn from our discussion:

* You can not attach too much importance to relationships and a loved one.
* It is unacceptable to focus on the bad - on separation, fear of loneliness, misunderstanding, resentment.
* You need to learn to let go of the situation in a relationship with a man, trusting the Universe.

How to let go of the situation? This is a question that worries people who have experienced a difficult life situation and who want to quickly find a solution to it.

A person seeking to understand how to learn to let go of the situation must first analyze his problem. You need to concentrate on it and take it apart, think about what specifically worries you: guilt, unspokenness, hidden feelings (anger, anger, resentment).

A person trying to figure out how to let go of a situation should know: no matter how old this situation is, a year, a month or a couple of days, if it does not leave you alone, then it makes sense for a person. A person living in past events will not be able to calmly continue to live and build the future.

To let go of the situation, you should think carefully and then decide what can be done now with this problem, which can produce results right now. The main thing is not to be inactive, because in this way the situation will drag on, and it will be even harder to let her go.

To let go of the situation, you should muster up the courage and do everything necessary to help you let go of the forcing feelings, if earlier in right moment the person was afraid, did not want to, did not dare to say or do what was right. It will be possible to let go of the problem when a person dares to do everything necessary for this.

Sometimes, in order to let go of a problem situation, you need to distract yourself from it. One should think why, due to the current situation, a person cannot experience personal happiness, live a free life, is life really so monotonous that there is nothing to do but reproach oneself.

You should not assume that life will become better, solely with the achievement of a specific goal or if there is certain person. The thought that it is impossible to be happy without this will not allow a person to personally grow and develop further, all the more, negative thoughts will only stall a person. You need to think positively, believe that everything will turn out for the best, as time passes, and with it all feelings are smoothed out, anger passes, resentment does not seem so serious.

In order to change life, correct mistakes, let go of the situation, one should be in an upbeat good mood, because a person is trying to change everything for the better, which means a positive result. Optimism is not an indicator of a person's frivolity, as some people think, it allows him to be firm in his intentions and strengths, and it means that he understands his main goal and task well.

Many are unable to let go of the situation, they live it, feed on the sensations that they experience, scrolling through certain moments in their heads each time. These people are dependent on external factors therefore unable to let go of their situation and find a solution.

Of course, a problematic situation can be oppressive, so you should allow yourself to become happy. To do this, you should sincerely forgive yourself for failures and past mistakes, let them go. It is necessary to realize that mistakes or actions brought experience. It is worth letting go of the past and starting to live again, relying on the foundation of past mistakes, let in the light and fill your life with it.
How to let go - psychology

During a showdown, people become very emotional, strong feelings are overwhelmed, and people no longer find out, but each prove their case, without hearing the interlocutor and often pronouncing the thoughts that appear in the head, which the individuals themselves do not give an account. This is how problems are born that become more significant than the original ones.

How to learn to let go of the situation and stop thinking about the situation all the time for a certain time to refresh your thoughts. The more you think and “rethink” a situation, the more complex and confusing it will seem. Remembering the various details of the conflict, the person will become increasingly angry or sad. This will make the situation worse, and certainly will not help to let it go and fix it.

When emotions subside, people realize that they said too much. Therefore, it is better to try to prevent this moment from the very beginning. This requires strong self-control and attentiveness in order to feel when the situation begins to heat up and stop in time.

Following how we abstracted a little from problem situation, which you want to let go, you need to look at it in a new way. in a good way there will be a replay of the situation in the mind, on the part of the observer, in order to analyze well their own words and emotions, and the words of the other side.

To let go of a conflict situation, you need to understand the motives of the interlocutor, which he was guided by when he behaved hostilely. Perhaps he then had personal problems that he was worried about, so he was angry and poured out all his negativity on you. He could even be tired, sick or anxious, so you should not immediately perceive his malicious statements or actions on yourself.

How to let go of the situation and not think about it in this case? You should imagine yourself standing in the place of the interlocutor. It can be assumed that it is also difficult for him and he is worried, because he himself did not expect that the situation would take a similar outcome.

In how to let go of the situation and begin to live on without resentment, forgiveness very often helps. If it is difficult to immediately talk to a person, you can mentally imagine how you ask for forgiveness. It is necessary to imagine it as vividly as if it is now in front of your eyes. It doesn’t matter who started the quarrel first, and if a person is worried about the situation that has happened and he wants to let it go, then certain steps need to be taken. It is worthwhile to evoke the most sincere feelings in yourself, to apologize from the bottom of your heart, to say that he also forgives and does not hold evil and resentment.

It is necessary to do this until a feeling of lightness and freedom overtakes, it should bring relaxation and calmness with it. When you manage to reach this state, you will be able to let go of the situation.

This method well helps to let go of the situation, contributes to the resumption of relations after the conflict and liberation from negative feelings. After a “trial” forgiveness in absentia, you should dare to meet or talk on the phone, try to start a conversation, ask for forgiveness already “live”. It is worth doing this to finally let go of the situation.

How to let go of the situation - advice from a psychologist:

Wrong beliefs must be abandoned. Many of their actions spoil their personal lives. You should not hold on to old principles and beliefs that prevent you from adequately contacting people and be afraid to let them go.

People value principles so much that they make critical mistakes because of them, part with their loved ones. It is worth admitting to yourself that no one else is to blame for this. If everyone points out to the individual that one cannot be so principled in a relationship, then one must be less categorical. It is required to admit that they made a mistake and let go of beliefs and categorical principles, to be simpler, then the world will change.
How to let go of the situation and the person from the heart and thoughts

If a person experiences for a long time through the current situation, through the departure of a person, it means that he has complexes, he is indecisive, has too low self-esteem, experiences feelings of guilt and resentment.

To let go of the situation, you need to get rid of these qualities and allow yourself a happy life.

What does it mean to let go of the situation and let go of the person? You need to understand that letting go means living without memories of a person, thanking for a new experience, putting an end to it if nothing good is already “sticking together”. We must learn to live again, fully. Need to work out own feelings, and not just reconcile doomedly and live on with gloomy thoughts.

The negative experiences that have accumulated inside as a result of parting must find a way out, so the first thing to do is to let them go - cry, do it once, but very thoroughly, so that you feel empty inside and no longer want to cry when remembering these experiences.

How to let go of the situation in a relationship with a man? It is required to consciously evaluate how these relations proceeded, throw off your “rose-colored glasses”, look at these relations from a different angle. Of course, every woman wants her relationship with a man to be the most ideal, but some disagreements, quarrels and misunderstandings still occur. Therefore, it is worth remembering precisely these unpleasant times, not idealizing the “former” as the only and best.

If a woman is concerned about the question of how to let go of the situation in a relationship with a man, you can use one psychotherapeutic method. All disturbing thoughts and exciting emotions should be expressed by writing a letter. Allow yourself a free flow of thoughts, it is necessary to express what is painful. This technique contributes to the fact that a person gets from inside all the hidden feelings that do not give rest, do not allow to experience joy. In this way, she can let go of all emotions, and no one will be offended.

It is necessary to address a specific person, write what you want to say, without thinking about whether it is good or bad, not to hide, not to conceal. But it is undesirable to send it, since it will not bring anything good, here the meaning of the method is different. After finishing writing a letter, it must be destroyed, torn, burned or thrown away, and the disturbing thoughts should be released with it.

To let go of a person, it is worth removing all reminiscent objects about him (things, gifts), so that later you do not cry, remembering the lost moments. Regrets must be discarded. If earlier you had to worry about your partner, devote less time to your needs, now you can become more self-centered, think more about yourself, personal needs that never had the opportunity to be realized once. Find new grounds for joy. This will help you let go of the situation, drive your sad and negative thoughts away.

In order not to feel lonely, it is worth enlisting the support of friends, they will find necessary words You just have to listen to them a little.

Forgetting the past will help understanding that it is necessary to organize your future, to dream, even without a specific person, it will definitely be.

Almost every individual has experienced unrequited love. To make it easier to let go of a person from thoughts, you need to realize that since he rejected the offer of love, you should have pride and you should not constantly impose yourself on him, and again experience rejection, because of which you are even more upset every time. You need to develop self-respect. If a person learned about feelings, but did not immediately respond to them, then you should take a neutral position. It is necessary to let go of expectations so that they do not accidentally collide with a reality that is very different from what one imagines. It is important to be a little philosophical, to think that there is a time for everything, and also to reflect that it is impossible for one person to belong to another if he does not have mutual feelings for him.

In order to let go of the situation in a relationship, it’s not at all worth idealizing the chosen one, because he, like all people, has flaws, so you should objectively evaluate them and focus on them. Over time, it will begin to seem that he is not as good as he seemed at first. It is necessary to stop all contacts and communications with him, the less something reminds him of him, the faster he will be able to let go.

The human psyche tends to recreate pleasant memories of life in memory, which can give a person a good state, liberation from anger and resentment, accumulated negativity over the years, which allows you to mentally relax. This state resembles the state of meditation, which immerses the individual in relaxation, gives balance and serenity, which is very necessary for everyone, especially when a person has problems and intends to let go of them, leaving peace in the soul.

To be a healthy, strong, more balanced person, to be able to let go of the situation, you need to regularly plunge into such a relaxed state. Disconnect the body from all the everyday fuss, problems and conflicts, let go of all the accumulated bad and disturbing thoughts about an unworthy person.

Almost every individual often forgets about himself while worrying about others. Thus, he is governed by erroneous stereotypes, which almost always diverge from internal rhythms. It is worth worrying more about yourself, personal health and watching what others contribute to your life, then if they do not bring sincere joy with happiness, then it is better to let them go from your heart.
How to let go in a relationship

In life, there are various situations in relationships that need to be forgotten. For example, if a partner betrayed or cheated and does not come out to forgive this person, then you should forget him and let him go. Has he not done enough in a relationship for this to become his punishment?

To make it easier to let go of the situation in a relationship, one should take into account the existing facts, everything that has happened and is happening before. For example, you said goodbye to your partner, even if without scandals, and a little later you start to think how bad it is without him, but he himself does not think to return, then the conclusion suggests itself - to let go and live on without focusing on him.

Once a person begins to think again, to remember him, but if such thoughts leave, then the individual will see that it is still possible to live without him. You should give yourself a clear attitude to let go of the situation, not to think about your ex. Focusing on the past can get in the way of creation happy family, in the construction of new plans. The sooner a person understands this, the sooner he can create a new life.

Many individuals consider it right that after a breakup, it is worth getting rid of feelings, but by doing this they drag themselves even more into this love again. It is necessary to allow yourself these feelings for a while, but set aside time for them, not to cry all the time, but to do, as always, your urgent business, but at the appointed time to cry, swear. Thus, a person learns self-control.

If he knows for sure that he allows himself to remember a person at a set time, he will eventually get tired of it. During the day, he does business, so he cannot be distracted by extraneous thoughts, and in the evening, after all the affairs at home, he will want to psychologically relax, and not grieve. Since the ex is better without you around, then you will become a happy person without him.

When a person tries to solve a problem, tries various options, but he fails to do this, then it is best to let go of the situation, i.e. let it take its course, let it resolve itself. It often happens that while the individual does not fuss, his feelings are smoothed out, and he forgets the thoughts that disturbed him before. Therefore, time is considered the best doctor. You should stop controlling the situation and observe the current situation.

Getting to the bottom, assessing the situation, you can reveal the relationship and make yourself understand - these failed relationships had no future. If it had happened otherwise, then they would have ended differently, logically. So, it’s worth letting go of the situation easily.

If you can’t let go of the situation on your own, then you should enlist the support of a psychologist who will help solve current problems and difficulties, teach you how to deal with them.

An individual who loves not only himself, will not limit anyone and adjust his behavior to fit his beliefs. Because no one owes anything to anyone, even if at first he promised to love forever. It's just that one person attached importance to these promises, and the other said them, but was not going to keep. You should not cling to a person, and to something that does not converge with the course of your life, as this is fraught with big problems, it's better to let him go. We must learn to keep balance, because everything flows and changes.

Let go of the situation does not give fear, it is also worth getting rid of. You need to accept the truth and be grateful for it. Letting go with gratitude for the experience in the relationship, which was accompanied by tears and laughter, which helped to grow internally. In order to forget a painful memory, it is necessary to accept what is now, what was, to realize one's possibilities. You need to find the strength to accept all life changes, trust your intuition and appreciate the achievements. Any experience is invaluable, only by understanding this you can continue your confident successful path.

When problems appear, it is always a test. This is a kind of test of readiness for life changes and risk. If the situation changes, do not be afraid of this, and take steps back, you should only go forward. Because life is moving forward and you have to let go of the old.

Asking yourself how to let go of the situation in a relationship, you need to tell yourself that you should stop clinging to them, and live your future. When a person manages to forget about the past, then in the soul where significant relationships used to take place, a void forms, and in order not to feel it so strongly, it is necessary to fill it with communication. Make new acquaintances, reunite with former friends and relatives, and, closing from the rest, a person will feel unhappy.

Have you ever found yourself in a situation where an “experienced” acquaintance, in response to your emotional speech, told you: “let go of the situation and everything will work out ... you should not keep everything under control ...”? Probably many have heard this phrase at least once, but few understand what this all-powerful “let go of the situation” means and how it looks in practice.

Freedom or a sign of weakness?

To understand how to let go of the situation, you must first understand why it is needed and why you should not try to keep it under control.

- There is always an option to fight or give everything into the hands of fate. But does this mean that, having let go of the situation, we give up, give up what we want?

- Not at all!

We are simply moving “from the stage to the auditorium”, where we will be able to live the situation more comfortably and painlessly.

It is by moving away from the details (emotions) that we gain the opportunity to consider the whole picture, to notice the right opportunity that has turned up - the necessary twist of fate that will lead to happiness.

This is not about momentary joy from achieving a petty goal, when the mind and titanic efforts managed to drive everything into the usual or desired framework, but about the state of "full long-term happiness."

Observation is not meaningless, it implies our participation and actions, but not "chaotic exhaustion", but correct from the point of view of the Universe.

Why let go?

Being inside the situation, we are immersed in the desire to change something, rearrange it, fake it, challenge it, criticize it or reject it immediately as unacceptable. This happens due to the fact that we initially set a certain format for what we want, we try to keep it under control, and all the “puzzles of circumstances” that are not included in this framework cause irritation. But these "non-containable" nasty circumstances are nothing but the idea of ​​the Universe.

We all want true love and True Happiness, but we refuse the path along which the inherently Perfect Universe leads us.

It turns out that dissatisfaction with circumstances is a rejection of the Universal Laws and dissatisfaction with the Higher Forces (everyone is free to mean by this the Universe, God, the Absolute, etc. according to their convictions). Anyone who is initially considered uninteresting, stupid and useless will treat you in much the same way, so why Higher power should eventually lead to happiness if there is no trust?

Letting go of the situation, not to be confused with inertia and lack of initiative, a person gets the opportunity to go through the door (or at least through the window, as the most persistent and stubborn ones), and not beat his head against the wall. Of course, the inner voice will demand to keep the situation under control and not let go, but it’s worth the risk and it turns out that the world not only didn’t collapse, but there may have been changes for the better.

What is the limit of worries and anxieties?

Of course, you can get emotional. We test them for a reason. And each of our experiences - a litmus test in the chemistry of life - draws attention to weaknesses, giving us the opportunity to work on ourselves. But prolonged negative emotions can unbalance so much that depression sets in.

The time to let go is when:

Thoughts revolve around a certain moment, causing negative emotions

There is no more strength, but there is an obsessive need to do something

The general condition is restless and interferes with living and enjoying life

This means your inner “susanin” mind has led you into the “swampy forest” and is not going to help you get out. It is such cases that require you to immediately let go of the situation and stop keeping everything under your control.

How to let go

1. We switch to let go of the situation.

One of the most difficult stages is to let go of the situation when it has grown together with you. It is imperative to find an occupation that will occupy the "Susanin" with another matter, so as not to go even further into the forest. It can be anything from shopping and cinemas to cleaning the house with washing windows. A distraction maneuver must be distracting, so “thinking” is strictly prohibited during it.

If you still can’t let go of the situation, then you can begin to mentally pronounce every action that you perform in this moment. Concentrate on what is happening around: mentally describe the details, count everything that can be counted (you can count the breath), try to touch and analyze your feelings, etc.

2. Determine how this frustration relates to your "global" ultimate goal.

If you have passed the first step relatively successfully, then some freshness of brain activity is provided. Now let's take a look at the situation that you want to keep under control.

The existence of flows in the flow of options frees the mind from two overwhelming burdens: the need to rationally solve problems and constantly control the situation. Of course, provided that he allows himself to be released. For the mind to allow this, it needs a more or less rational explanation. As you have noticed, there is a lot of irrational in this book, which is not consistent with the position of common sense. And although the purpose of Transurfing is not to explain the structure of the surrounding world, one way or another I constantly have to substantiate all these mind-shocking conclusions.

The two burdens mentioned above have been placed on the mind since childhood. We were constantly taught: “Think with your head! Are you aware of what you are doing? Explain to me what you're doing! Learn lessons, only the mind can achieve something in life. Your stupid head! Are you thinking or not?" Educators and circumstances blinded a "soldier" from the mind, ready at any moment to find an explanation, give an answer to the question posed, assess the situation, make a decision, keep control over what is happening. Reason is accustomed to act expediently from the point of view of common sense.

Just don't think that I'm so presumptuous that I'm ready to completely brush aside common sense. On the contrary, common sense is minimal necessary set rules on how to behave in the outside world in order to survive. But the mistake of the mind is that it follows this code of rules literally and too straightforwardly. Obsession with common sense prevents the mind from looking around and seeing what is not consistent with these rules.

And there are a lot of discrepancies with common sense in the world. This is confirmed by the inability of the mind to explain everything and save a person from problems and troubles. There is a very simple way out of this situation: rely on the flows in the flow of options. The rationale for this is also very simple: the flows contain exactly what the mind is looking for - expediency. As you know, flows follow the path of least resistance. The mind seeks to reason sensibly and logically, relying on cause and effect relationships. But the imperfection of the mind does not allow him to accurately navigate the world around him and find the only correct solutions.

Nature is originally perfect, therefore, there is more expediency and logic in flows than in the most wise reasoning. And no matter how convinced the mind is that it thinks sensibly, it will still make mistakes. However, the mind will make mistakes in any case, but much less if it moderates its zeal and, if possible, allows problems to be resolved without its active intervention. This is what is called letting go. In other words, you need to loosen your grip, reduce control, do not interfere with the flow, give more freedom to the world around you.

You already know that putting pressure on the world is not only useless, but also harmful. Not agreeing with the flow, the mind creates excess potentials. Transurfing offers a completely different path. First, we create obstacles ourselves, pumping up excess potentials. If you reduce the importance, the obstacles will be removed by themselves. Secondly, if the obstacle does not give in, we must not fight it, but simply bypass it. Guiding signs will help with this.

The trouble with the mind is that it tends to perceive events that do not fit into its scenario as obstacles. The mind usually plans everything in advance, calculates, and if the unexpected happens later, it begins to actively deal with it in order to fit events to its scenario. As a result, the situation is further aggravated. Of course, the mind is not able to plan events perfectly. This is where we need to give more freedom to the flow. The current is not interested in breaking your destiny. Again, this is inappropriate. Fate breaks the mind with its unreasonable actions.

Expediency, from the point of view of the mind, is when everything goes according to the planned scenario. Anything that is not consistent is perceived as an undesirable problem. And the problem must be solved, for which the mind takes on with great zeal, giving rise to new problems. Thus, the mind itself piles up a lot of obstacles in its path.

Think for yourself: when are people happy, satisfied, satisfied with themselves? When everything goes according to plan. Any deviation from the script is perceived as a failure. Inner importance does not allow the mind to accept the possibility of deviation. The mind thinks: “After all, I planned everything in advance, calculated it. I know better what is good for me and what is bad. I am intelligent." Life often brings gifts to people that they are reluctant to accept because they did not plan for them. "I didn't want that toy!" The reality is that we rarely get exactly the planned toys, so we all go so gloomy and dissatisfied. Now imagine how much more joyful life will be if the mind reduces its importance and recognizes the right to exist deviations in the script!

Everyone can control their own level of happiness. The lower limit of this level is very high for most people, so they do not consider themselves happy. I am not advocating to be content with what you have. A dubious formula like “if you want to be happy, be happy” is not suitable for Transurfing. You will receive your toy, but we'll talk about that later. Now we are talking about how to avoid trouble and reduce the number of problems.

It is the unwillingness of the mind to allow deviations in its scenario that prevents it from taking advantage of ready-made solutions in the flow of options. The maniacal tendency of the mind to keep everything under control turns life into a continuous struggle with the flow. How, then, can he allow the current to run its course, not obeying his will? Here we come to the most main mistake mind. The mind seeks to control not its movement with the flow, but the flow itself. This is one of the main causes of all kinds of problems and troubles.

An expedient flow, moving along the path of least resistance, cannot generate problems and obstacles - they are generated by a stupid mind. Activate the Watcher and watch, if only for one day, how the mind tries to control the flow. They offer you something, but you refuse, they try to tell you something - you brush it off. Someone expresses his point of view, and you argue, someone does it in his own way - you guide him on the right path. You are offered a solution, and you object. You expect one thing, but you get another and express dissatisfaction. Someone interferes - and you become furious. Something goes against your script - and you rush into a frontal attack to direct the flow in the right direction. Maybe for you personally everything happens a little differently, but there is still some truth. Right?

Now try loosening your grip on control and letting the flow flow more freely. I am not suggesting that you agree with everyone and accept everything. Just change tactics: shift the center of gravity from control to observation. Strive to observe rather than control. Do not rush to dismiss, object, argue, prove your own, interfere, manage, criticize. Give the situation a chance to resolve itself without your active intervention or opposition. You will be, if not dumbfounded, then certainly surprised. And a completely paradoxical thing will happen. By relinquishing control, you will gain even more control over the situation than you had before. An outside observer always has a greater advantage than a direct participant. That's why I keep saying: rent yourself out.

When you look back, you will see that your control was going against the current. Others' suggestions were not without merit. It wasn't worth arguing at all. Your intervention was unnecessary. What you saw as obstacles were not obstacles at all. Problems are already resolved safely without your knowledge. What you didn't get as planned isn't so bad at all. Randomly thrown phrases really have power. Your mental discomfort served as a warning. You have not spent too much energy and were satisfied. This is the magnificent gift of the current to the mind, which I spoke about at the beginning.

And, of course, in addition to everything that has been said, let's remember our "friends". Pendulums interfere with moving in harmony with the flow. At every step they arrange provocations for a person, forcing him to beat his hands on the water. The presence of a flow in a flow does not suit pendulums for the simple reason that the flow itself goes in the direction of minimal energy consumption. The energy expended by a person to fight the current goes to the creation of excess potentials and to feed the pendulums. The only control worth paying attention to is the control over the level of internal and external importance. Remember that it is the importance that prevents the mind from letting go of the situation.

Letting go of the situation in many cases is much more effective and useful than insisting on your own. The desire of people for self-affirmation since childhood gives rise to the habit of proving their significance. Hence comes the inclination, harmful in all respects, to prove one's innocence at all costs. This desire creates excess potential and conflicts with the interests of other people. Often people try to prove their case even in cases where the verdict in one direction or another does not directly affect their interests.

For some people, the sense of inner importance is so exaggerated that they tend to insist on their own in any trifles. Inner importance develops into a mania to keep everything under control: "I will prove to everyone that I am right, no matter what it costs me." Bad habit. It greatly complicates life, especially for the defender of truth himself.

If your interests are not greatly affected by this, feel free to let go of the situation and give others the right to beat their hands on the water. If this is done consciously, it will immediately become easy on the soul, even easier than if you proved your point of view. You will be satisfied with the fact that you have risen a step higher: you did not, as usual, defend your significance, but acted as wise parent with foolish children.

Let's take another example. Excessive zeal at work is as harmful as carelessness. Let's say you got a job prestigious job long dreamed of. You make high demands on yourself, because you think that you must show your best. This is correct, but, having taken up the matter too zealously, most likely, you will not withstand the stress, especially if the task is difficult. V best case your work will be inefficient, and at worst, you will have a nervous breakdown. You may even come to the false belief that you are not up to the job.

Another option is possible. You develop violent activity and thereby violate the established order of things. There seems to be a lot of room for improvement at work, and you're pretty sure you're doing the right thing. However, if your innovations entail a disruption of the usual way of life of your employees, do not expect anything good. This is the case when the initiative is punishable. You have been placed in a slow but calm and balanced current, and you are beating your hands on the water with all your might, trying to swim faster.

Well, now it turns out that you can’t say a word against it and you shouldn’t stick your head out at all? Well, not quite so tough. It is necessary to approach this issue from a mercantile point of view. You can resent and scold only what directly interferes with you, and only if your criticism can change something for the better. Never criticize what has already happened, what cannot be changed. Otherwise, the principle of moving with the flow should not be applied literally, agreeing with everything and everyone, but only by moving the center of gravity from control to observation. Observe more and do not rush to control. A sense of proportion will come to you by itself, you don’t have to worry about it.