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Psychology is a very complex science that has many different approaches to the perception of a person, to his psyche, to what is happening in his head. There are those methods that are considered to be scientific, as their effectiveness has been confirmed by practice for many years. But new and new approaches are constantly emerging, and some of them complement the scientific component of psychology (naturally, over time, when they also undergo a kind of test_. However, many methods remain unofficial - they are not recognized by the scientific community, but at the same time they remain relevant in narrow circles.One of the most striking examples is systemic constellations - a psychological approach that, despite the fact that no one recognized it for many decades, still remains relevant and is used by an impressive number of its supporters. method? How do system constellations occur? This is what will be discussed in this article.
What is the essence of the method?
System constellations are an unconventional approach in psychology, which is based on the fact that all human problems come from the family, or rather from the family system. Therefore, the essence of this method is the reproduction of this system in a session in order to understand it and find the true cause of the problem. This reproduction takes place in reality and is called constellation.
Systemic constellations have been practiced for quite a long time, but still have not received recognition from the scientific community. But people do not always turn to professionals - sometimes they are closer to what they want to believe in, and a lot of people believe in this method. Perhaps the reason is that its creator is not only a psychologist, but also a theologian, a spiritual teacher.
Founder of the movement
Since we are talking about who exactly founded this method, it is worth dwelling on this person. Systemic Family Constellations are the work of Bert Hellinger, a famous psychologist who was born in 1925 in Germany. He long time studied psychology, worked as a psychotherapist, however, as mentioned earlier, he was also a theologian. And in the eighties of the last century, Hellinger discovered and introduced the method discussed in this article. That is why it is often called "Hellinger Systemic Family Constellations". This variation is primary and most in demand.
Method roots
The method of systemic constellations is an original offshoot of psychology, but it also has its own roots. Hellinger created this method based on several psychological movements that were relevant at the time. However, if we single out the most important method that most influenced the system constellations, this is Eric Bern's script analysis. The essence of this method is to analyze the life situations of each person (this psychologist also believed that all problems come from the family). He believed that each person has his own life scenario, according to which he moves. The script is formed in childhood under the influence of parents and environment and may be slightly adjusted in the future.
Hellinger acted precisely in accordance with this method, but at a certain moment he realized that he had his drawbacks - as a result, he developed his own approach. Later it was already called systemic constellations and is known to this day under this name. Bert Hellinger's system constellations are quite popular in narrow circles. It's time to figure out what exactly this approach is.
Problem situation
So, what did Systemic constellations imply - this is not just a psychological term, constellations actually work, and this is how it happens. For starters, there must be some problem situation one of the participants in the psychological session. Strictly speaking, this situation is an element of a certain system, most often a family one. It is with him that the group that participates in the session will have to deal. Bert Hellinger's method of systemic constellations involves the participation of all people, even those who do not know either the person whose problem is being considered, or anyone from his family system.
How is the alignment going?
The focus of the session is the history of the client, his problem situation. All participants in the session form a large circle, and the problem is presented in a plane in the space between all people. Each element of the system is first imagined, and then its place in real world occupied by a person who is called a deputy. During the session, he represents a specific member of the system - thus, the entire system is replenished, and everyone gets his role. This is exactly how splitting happens. All this is done quietly, slowly and with concentration. Each participant concentrates on his feelings, trying to feel the essence of the person whom he replaces in the session.
Substitutive Perception
As mentioned earlier, deputies may not know either the client or his relatives, including the person they are replacing in the system. And the client doesn't tell the group anything about them, so people have to focus and try to figure out for themselves what kind of affiliation they have. This is called vicarious perception - people have to become, without outside help, the person they replace. Thus, the lack of information is compensated by this phenomenon of substitute perception, without which the process would be simply impossible. It is quite likely that this is precisely what repels professional psychologists and psychiatrists from this method - there is a lot of uncertainty in it, which cannot be scientifically compensated in any way in order to allow calling the systemic constellation method professional.
The source of information
The main source from which participants receive information about the problem, about the client and about the system as a whole is the so-called "field". That is why people have to concentrate and work in silence - this is how they try to establish a connection with the field in order to get the necessary information about who they replace in the system, as well as about what kind of “dynamics” their character has with the rest of the system participants. This is how the systemic arrangement happens - each participant turns into a substitute, gets used to his own image, drawing information from the field, and then all participants try to reproduce the problem and solve it. The therapist, called a constellator, leads the whole process, giving people the most appropriate roles for them, and also trying to help them solve the problem in the process of constellation.
The main goal of this whole process is to accurately reproduce the situation so that the client can see it live, understand it and accept his problem. Only when he succeeds in doing so is the session considered successful. Then it is believed that he no longer needs to reproduce a specific problem in the conditions of constellation, since he was able to realize it and can now deal with its solution.
conclusions
According to people who practice this method, it really helps - participants can look at their situation from the other side, try to assess what is happening impartially, without associating all actions with their relatives and friends, which does not allow them to think rationally. And when a person sees a situation performed in real life strangers, he can understand that this is really his problem - and then he can start looking for a solution to it. Often the client is not able to not only solve his problem on his own, but even see it - this is what the constellation is used for. The client looks at the situation with an outsider's eye and gets a chance to see it as a problem in general, and then recognize his own in it.
I stopped resisting the questions "how to arrange the arrangement for myself" and began to collect constructive ideas :) Additions and new ideas are welcome :)
Arrangements for oneself (for the time being, without a group, that is, in splendid isolation in general) are difficult because the person himself cannot feel the excluded dynamics in his system. If he had felt them, he would have deciphered and lived them long ago. But he cannot feel them directly, and that is why he lives "someone else's fate."
However, there are some things you can do for yourself.
Let's start simple :)
The first idea: "Let's go to the cinema?"
So, to go or not to go to the cinema? Should I go to Professor Preobrazhensky's seminar? Stay in Verkhnyaya Pyshma at the Sheraton or Hilton hotel?
Today at 19-00 in the cinema. The Moscow City Council is filming "The Elusive Avengers". Do I need to go there?
In a room where (preferably) there is no furniture and enough free space, we mark the place "I'm in the cinema named after the Moscow City Council on Elusive Avengers today." You can mark it, for example, with a sheet of drawing paper. Just put the paper on the floor. Better not an A4 sheet, because in the cinema you are surrounded by space, and in the arrangement it is better to be surrounded by space too. Smaller furniture is better so as not to catch extra speakers in chairs and tables, both from the cinema and your own.
We stand at a distance from the drawing paper, look at it and slowly walk. We monitor our condition. Sometimes already at this stage one feels, for example, "an insurmountable barrier". You can put it on a chair or stretch it with a rope.
Sometimes it suddenly becomes clear that "there will be no kina", i.e. there is simply no object of our movement. If this event is really announced in the poster and it is today (and not in six months), then this is very strange. Two options - either it really won’t happen (you looked at the wrong poster), or you got into some kind of dynamics with this movie and are simply not able to stage and see “just a movie”. For example, in the cinema Moscow City Council 20 years ago, Mitya said that this is your last date. You have long forgotten this, but the body remembers .... Or it was said by the groom to your grandmother.
Just in case, you can put "where this actually leads me" (also a chair) and see if this figure is visible. If the figure evokes strong sensations and another barrier rises, we have arrived. Keane will not. You for a professional placement.
The difficulty with this arrangement is that the "movie" target is quite difficult to place. For example, if the building of the cinema them. The Moscow City Council is being attacked by raiders from Truba LLC, then the owners of the building and these raiders radiate such trash into the space that it can score anything. If the film is "cult" and a million people have already watched it, then it already has an "egregore" and it can make noise so that you won't find yourself there. All the girls are already in love with Lanovoy, and on the spot "in the cinema" you feel the energy of girls touched by the head, and not yourself in this cinema today.
A professional arranger could clean up the trash and put the configuration cleaner, but we don’t want to do it ... :)
And yet: "I'm in the cinema named after the Moscow Council on the Elusive Avengers today."
We stand on whatman, we feel. Well, how are you today? :-))
You can complicate the task and divide the object into (for example): "what kind of film", "what kind of people", "how are they fed", etc.
It is possible that the film is garbage, then there you will meet Petya ... Or a classmate Masha and she will say that ...
Important addition: If we are talking about whether to go to the cinema with Vasya from a parallel class, the arrangement should be completely different! About this next edition of our radio show.
About the hotel, I put, for example, "silence". If there is no silence, then I do not need "comfort", "location in the center" and so on.
About seminars, you can separately put "personal benefit", "usefulness in learning", "people", "status / for a piece of paper", etc.
10 months ago
http://www.drevo-help.ru/help/hellinger - about constellations - e-mail of a specialist (Marina) You can contact me and order a consultation through Instagram social networks: https://www.instagram.com/undergirlskin VK group : https://www.vk.com/undergirlskin You can help develop the channel through Yandex.Money 410011721671868
5 years ago
Each person is part of his family system, which includes all his blood relatives, as well as all his sexual partners. The members of the family system, as well as the processes that take place or have taken place in the family system, influence our lives. And perhaps we subconsciously complete or live something for someone, not having vital resources to solve our own problems. Perhaps we cannot accept someone in our family system or begin to receive love from those who can and are ready to give it to us, and this prevents us from achieving in our life what we so want to achieve. Hellinger's constellations allow us to see and realize what happens in the family system, and also shows ways out of difficult life situations and achieving the desired results. http://dvizenie.org/ Make an appointment by phone 943-13-82
11 months ago
By talking about the request. Inquiry is a fundamental part of changing our lives. This is a statement to space, that "I am ready to change." As soon as you start asking, the space instantly answers with any possible way. The problem may be that you are getting the wrong information because you are asking for the wrong thing. How to formulate a request correctly: 1) The request should come from the client, not the patient. This means that a person is aware that everything that happens to him is the result of his actions. thoughts and so on. 2) The request should sound from I. The laws of our world forbid to influence another subject. 3) The word is "why", we change - "for what". "For what" - the same, "what do I need this for." "What does it show me in me"? 3) If this request is related to the experience, history of your family, it is important to ask the right questions about the relationship of those stories with your current situation. 4) We check whether the program manifests itself in the context of my statements of the topic or something similar also manifests itself in other areas of my life. Where am I in my character with this sign, where it is repeated. 4) When you go to the constellation, find out information about your ancestors. Who were you named after? Who had similar situations, problems. What would you first look at it. When everything is properly prepared, formulated, then in a person’s life everything begins to change even before the arrangement.
3 years ago
Get unlimited for everything http://lp.laboratoria.tv/uspexlico/ In family systemic constellations, family is synonymous with Kin. We are all in the field of the Family. Not always problems come from activity or passivity. We are part of our parents and the Family. Problems depend on family interweaving. We depend on how our ancestors lived. Relationship with mom determines our success in life. What is a mother in your life? Analyze your relationship with your partner. Analyze where is your success in life and what is your relationship with your mother. Today we have the first step towards solving these family problems. Messages from all the women of the Family go through the mother. 07:43 What is family for you? 12:35 Events that are silent about turn into a family secret. 13:38 What role do you play in your family? 17:21 You are in the field of the family 18:28 What is your relationship with your mother? 01:41:15 End of practice 01:44:13 Feedback 01:57:32 End of session Music license http://www.mediafire.com/view/p77d7s1. ..
3 years ago
Many of us have one serious diagnosis called Interrupted Movement to Mother. When we are born into this world, we are so connected with our mother that it seems to us that we are one. And mother for us is the embodiment of the very love that we expect to see here on planet Earth when we come here. And we have a natural movement, a natural love for mother, which is born much earlier than we are in this world, while we are still inside her. But when something happens and we cannot be around at a young age, even in the maternity hospital, when they are not taken away in the first minutes, the child experiences such a shock, such pain that it is very difficult for him to cope with. And when he copes, on a subconscious level, he decides never to approach his mother again so that, God forbid, she will leave again, and I will again live that same pain. The pain of loss, the pain of separation. And there is an interrupted movement towards the mother, which affects further throughout life. Vania Markovich - rector, professor at the Academy of Constellations, lecturer at the French University of Samadeva, constellation mediator and human relations expert. We are always glad to see you at the constellations in the Samadeva center! Come to St. Petersburg, st. Kazanskaya 10 (2nd floor). 945-13-24 We carry out remote arrangements if you are in another city and cannot come! The site of the Academy of Constellations www.academy-system.com The video was filmed during the constellations.
About ten years ago, I first saw an advertisement for Hellinger constellations in the Russian information space. Since at that time I was aware of the content of this new phenomenon for our country, I decided that quite quickly this practice would naturally move into the world of “occult services”. A year later, having discovered the price list of several fairly large psychological centers that do not associate themselves with magic in any way, I decided to go there and see what exactly they are doing there and how professional psychologists explain to themselves the legitimacy of using this practice.
The opportunity appeared by itself and very quickly: I came across an advertisement for the search for so-called "deputies" - important participants in the most common type of constellation. My husband and I signed up as "deputies", naturally, without reporting either our motivation or professional affiliation (in fairness: no one asked us about this). I’ll make a reservation right away: the formats for conducting constellations may differ, but they are substantively based on the same idea. And they can be called differently: systemic family constellations, just systemic constellations, and many more variations on the theme. The case below serves to illustrate the "work" of the method, as well as material for the critique that follows.
So, the arrangement was carried out for a young man. He, under the guidance of a psychologist leading the arrangement, assigned each of the deputies the role of one of the members of his family (so far only living ones) and placed us around the room. Several constellators were left without roles. And then a phantasmagoria began: “experienced deputies” (from among the employees of the center) began to report “heaviness in the heart”, “tickling in the heel” and other mysterious sensations from standing next to someone or, on the contrary, due to the remoteness of someone then. And only we stood in our places and felt nothing but curiosity.
Then, in some way incomprehensible to me, one of the “deputies” (who felt an acute desire to pour out love and regret to the client) “turned out” to be an aborted child of the client, several more people “turned out” to be long-dead relatives ... a spiritualistic session began. Then something like a psychodrama with a mystical twist happened. And all this ended with a harsh instruction from the constellator from the category of “get up and go!”.
Naturally, I lingered, told the constellator my professional affiliation and asked what it was, where he studied and how he was not ashamed. In response, I received a stream of consciousness “there is a lot in the world, friend Horatio ...” on the topic of the existence of phenomena still unknown to science and certain fields that need to be connected to in order to gain knowledge.
I decided then that with this level of delusion, this service would serve clients well: it would help them to distinguish really professional psychologists from charlatans who had nothing to do with scientific knowledge.
It seemed obvious to me that a reasonable person, before giving his money for any service, would google about it. When searching for information about Hellinger constellations, one almost immediately finds, perhaps, the most systematized brief description of the methodology in the Russian-speaking segment: Veselago E.V. System constellations according to Bert Hellinger: history, philosophy, technology. // Psychotherapy. No. 7, 2010. No. 1, 2011. : [Electronic resource].
Reading this article, in my opinion, is enough to understand that this technique has nothing to do with psychology as a science in any "reincarnation". And the paragraph below (ibid., p. 14) makes it clear that the concept of the norm in any sense of the arrangement has the same relation as to science: “ Hellinger says his work is not psychotherapy, it's a practical philosophy. I would like to add: "And also practical theology." And in this practice, we sometimes reach the limits: frightening, unacceptable, wrong, “immoral” movements (events, stories). After all, if there is neither bad nor good, and everything moves as it moves, then what about, for example, situations of incest? Violence, murder, abortion? Fascism, genocide? Many times, witnesses to Hellinger's constellation work encountered the unacceptable: for example,in a constellation, a daughter who is in a sexual relationship with her father says to her mother, "Mom, I'm glad to do this for you." Through this phrase, uttered in the constellation, the spirit of “sighted” love and reconciliation comes, the connection reveals its meaning and ceases to be necessary. But at the same time, a wave of indignation rises from the defenders of victims of violence and abuse, from women, from men, from social workers and many others, in whose understanding the idea of \u200b\u200bprotecting the victim from the rapist and appropriate punishment for him is correct».
But, judging by the prevalence of constellations, the almost complete absence of criticism in the Russian-language segment of the Web and scientific sources, the penetration of methods into the system of public education and science, this issue is in dire need of discussion.
So, the method of systemic family constellations of Bert Hellinger received wide use in the second half of the last century as a helping psychological practice. It is believed that basic principles methods correspond to the systemic and phenomenological approach, but their interpretation is carried out by the author in an extremely unorthodox way. Based on systemic premises, Hellinger proposes to consider the whole complex in therapy. family relations in their relationship and hierarchy, including intergenerational (including between living and deceased relatives). The phenomenology of the method implies the priority of the direct subjective experience and sensations of the participants in the constellations.
According to the supporters of the method, the relationships, experiences and sensations of the members of the family system are in a certain “field”, and, being placed in the appropriate roles, completely outsiders seem to be included in this field and begin to reproduce the characteristic sensations of its members, without even having any prior experience. information about them. By interacting with these “deputies”, the participant gets the opportunity to work out their personal problems and issues of relationships with relatives, work colleagues, and even abstract concepts.
In my opinion, what has already been listed should be enough to understand the unscientific and useless "method" of constellations, however, in case the reader still has doubts, let's dwell a little more on the most odious provisions (I will try to do without highly specialized terms) .
Firstly, the “mechanics” of the constellations are based on the so-called phenomenon of substitutive perception, when the substitute begins not only to imagine, but to feel and experience what his real living or long-dead prototype feels and experiences, drawing information directly from the “information field” . The mechanism of this substitutive perception and the method of transferring information between its carrier and its substitute, however, is not formalized and explained in any way - but it cannot be verified and refuted.
Secondly, the basically sound idea that an individual does not live in a vacuum and that he is influenced by family members (by the way, not only they, but also a lot of other social subjects and agents of socialization), is brought here to absurdity and a person turns out to be not just connected, but closely intertwined (and this is not about genetics!) in his fate with the fate of his ancestors - even those that he does not know about and could never know in principle. As a result, it is argued that he may not live his own destiny and fulfill his own tasks, since a psychological problem arose some generations ago, which has not yet been solved. Neither modern psychology nor neurophysiology has scientific explanations for such a phenomenon, and there are no ways to check whether the client is really tormented for the sins of the great-grandmother, either.
If we remove the philosophical and mystical component, then the constellation technique itself, in fact, is an attempt to project the client's conscious and unconscious ideas about the structure and nature of interpersonal relationships within the family - and this could have a limited practical use, but similar techniques already exist (for example, psychodrama), so that novelty, obviously, can only be achieved through mystification and operating with quasi-scientific concepts like “psychic energy”, “information field”, “replacement perception” and others. But maybe there is nothing wrong with that, and let the clients of the “constellations” pay a kind of “ignorance tax”? ..
Not at all. The method is not "ethically neutral" and contains several elements that are very dangerous for the client.
First, the simplest objection is that using the "crooked" method leads you astray and the conviction that the root of the problems must be sought "down the family tree", listening to the sensations caused in you by strangers, on who are assigned the roles of all sorts of relatives, will prevent you from seeing the real problem. It's in best case. At worst, you will be strengthened in your delusions and distorted perception.
Secondly, a non-formalizable method with unverifiable results leaves too wide scope for the work of the "arranger" - and places extremely high demands on his professionalism, ethics and ability to critical reflection. Something tells me that people who practice (often on a commercial basis) an unscientific method with vague semi-esoteric premises may have serious problems with these qualities. Moreover, for people in borderline states, the experience of constellations (in any role) can be dangerous as a provocation for the development of full-fledged psychiatry.
Third, at its core, Hellinger's ideas about "orders of love" reproduce patriarchal models of gender and intergenerational relations, in fact prescribing certain (and rather rigid) principles of perception and behavior to clients. Hellinger's sensational interpretation of incest as a mother's fault for not satisfying her husband's sexual interests sufficiently, resulting in his having to have sex with his daughter, not only sets the stage for cultivating guilt in the mother (which, perhaps, quite logically, separated from her husband for reasons), but also forces the victim of incest to “accept with respect” the act of violence against herself. Not to mention the fact that for the rapist himself, such an interpretation does not give any chance to realize his responsibility for what he did and work out the reasons that led to this act.
I admit that those psychologists and educators who refer to Hellinger's ideas and implement them in their practice and curricula do not accept all the provisions of "systemic family" therapy, but then this indicates either their ignorance or scientific incompetence. Everything that “works” in the constellations is not the specific features of the constellations, but is completely exhausted by other, completely scientific methods. And what is unique in them is neither psychology specifically nor science in general, and therefore does not work and cannot work.
Nevertheless, there are also those who “passed through” and who “helped”. Why did it “work” in their case?
It is much easier for many people to live, believing that they are not to blame for anything. The “family field” is to blame, which forced, for example, to repeat the fate of an exiled relative. Guilt is one of the most common problems people seek help with.
Since the constellations use elements from points 2-4, there are lucky ones who have been helped by the constellations and may not even have been hurt much. Although the harm in the form of mythologization of consciousness is definitely caused to them! The same harm is done to the "substitutes". It is not worth talking about the confirmed effectiveness of this method at all, because there is not a single study in this area.
For a number of contradictory statements and methods, Hellinger was expelled from the German Association of Systemic Constellations by his former followers, but at the same time they continued to engage in constellations, removing the name of Bert Hellinger and morally controversial installations. In fairness, it should be noted that there were those specialists who, although they recognize the potential in this eclectic method, consider it unsafe for patients.
Unfortunately, constellations are now becoming more and more widespread as a service. But the worst thing is that they begin to occupy an indecently large space among professionals, they are included in educational programs and practices are included in publications indexed by the RSCI.
Recently, I discovered constellations in the curricula of some state universities, courses on constellations conducted in ANO on the basis of state (sic!) psychiatric institutions and allowing you to get a state-recognized certificate!
In their attempts to legitimize the constellation method, supporters of the approach do not disdain falsifications: for example, the article on systemic family psychotherapy in the Russian-language Wikipedia was written by adherents of this technique. The bold statement that "about 80 randomized and controlled trials have been able to confirm that systemic and family therapy is an effective and economical method of psychotherapy with a very good long-term effect" refers to one Bernard Schorn and his "work" called "Scientific research proves efficiency and long-term success. A search in the Russian-language and English-language segments of the Internet did not help me uncover the mysterious identity of this man. Well, of course, I also did not find the corresponding work.
And finally, I inform you that the alignments for business systems, the alignments for the exchange rate and other economic issues are now becoming more widespread. What personally causes mixed feelings in me: funny, of course, but ... if business people and bankers begin to rely on the results of occult practices in making decisions, then what will we expect in the future?
The first few times, looking at Hellinger’s system constellations, it seems that this is sheer mysticism and magic: people play some roles, feel and think something incomprehensible, move, the host asks unexpected questions and draws incomprehensible conclusions (as if “from the ceiling ”), new figures are rearranged and added, someone is lying on the floor (and why?!), then everything is somehow transformed, incomprehensible phrases are spoken and the situation is resolved.
| Bert Hellinger noted that often the source of a client's problem lies at the level of life of ancestors, such as parents or grandparents. Any tasks, scenarios that have not been lived to the end or uncorrected mistakes of the past, are passed on to the descendants of the Genus, thereby weaving them into the living and working out of what the ancestors did not complete. Therefore, other methods, which are limited to considering only the current life of a person, are usually ineffective, do not allow to see and eliminate the causes of certain undesirable phenomena. Unreacted feelings, destructive scenarios of behavior, illnesses are passed on to descendants and are lived as one's own. Within the framework of family constellations, the study of the client's problem is carried out more widely, systematically, the sources of problems are identified and eliminated, the root of which is in the life of not only current, but also previous generations. So, the Hellinger constellations are a method that allows you to work with a person as part of a system, find and eliminate the causes of certain negative phenomena in a person’s life, the source of which is in the life of their ancestors. |
In the course of his observations, Bert Hellinger identified unconscious actions and reactions of family members that lead to increased suffering (for example, a daughter's revenge on other men for a mother who was mistreated by her father leads to the fact that there are even more innocent victims and misfortunes, while how the problem is not solved), as well as several key laws of family systems (to be discussed in detail below), the violation of which leads to certain negative consequences.
Many constellations help solve problems, some people come out completely changed, despite the fact that they do not understand at all what happened, everything looked like some kind of strange theater, but at the same time, there is a feeling that something important has happened. In the process of arrangement, one can single out a certain structure, key points, understanding which, what is happening becomes clearer and often instructive.
How does the Hellinger system arrangement work?
A person comes with a problem that he wants to solve. There is a small discussion with the host, it is revealed how suitable the placement method is for the solution (sometimes a person simply does not have enough knowledge, perhaps some worldly advice). Further, for the client system under consideration, for example, a family, several significant people in this situation are identified. In their roles from among the participants, the client or leader selects deputies and places them in accordance with how their position in the system is felt. The field of the system under consideration appears, gradually the deputies plunge into roles and begin to broadcast the processes taking place in the family. For example, a substitute mother may feel parental feelings for her daughter's substitute, substitutes for two warring family members begin to show aggression towards each other, and a sister begins to cry over a brother who died early. If necessary, some more roles are added to the arrangement and it is tracked how their appearance affects the system and changes in behavior.
According to the relative position and relationship between the elements of the system, violations associated with the client's request are determined. Further various steps in order to eliminate the identified violations, for example, by changing the position of deputies, placing them in right order or through the pronunciation of permissive phrases, as a result of which the field of the family and the state of the client change, the causes of negativity go away (sometimes additional work is needed to eliminate the accumulated consequences). The client, as a rule, observes everything from the outside, and then is introduced into the field of arrangement to perform key actions, live and fix the image-decision.
After the arrangement, it is better not to discuss it with anyone, try not to talk for a while (and with yourself too, do not ask questions, do not try to analyze), be alone with yourself, do not leave the process, fully accept and assimilate what happened . This applies to those situations where such behavior is a way to splash energy or not look at what is happening, to suppress, to be distracted. Sometimes a person starts talking (more suitable “ chatting”) in order to relieve stress, so he knocks down the mood and reduces the strength of the constellation, the effect it produces.
The idea to shift the function of displaying hidden subtle processes to the people themselves is very good, because. people, by nature, are good translators, they constantly work out signals from subtle plan, realizing in dense (more details below). A person has more degrees of freedom, more flexible than any other system, any other tool, such as cards, a pendulum, a frame, etc. Substitutes can move, speak, show emotions, build figures, show dynamics, connection, interact, etc. ., which allows you to more fully and vividly convey subtle processes. It also gives some clarity and is easier to perceive by others, what is happening is clearer, more natural and closer to a person’s everyday life than the form in which information is given out in other systems (Tarot, pendulum, etc.).
The method of constellations can be used not only to unleash family entanglements, but also to address issues of personal development (what is better to focus on now), finding a place in life, forecasting (which choice is most suitable for a person), to clarify and improve relationships within teams, for example organizations (what happens between employees on a subtle level, where are the weak points, why the director stopped working well, how best to build relationships with this or that employee, what is the reason for current failures, mass layoffs and apathy in the company, what can be done, how customers will react to innovations). We can say that this is a technique based on the phenomenon of substitutive perception, the ability of a person to identify with any objects (subpersonality, a person, a dream figure, a collective, an organ of the body) or rather abstract concepts, processes, qualities and phenomena (death, relationships , reason, emotion, disease, life, wisdom).
Constellations, in addition to the group form, can be carried out one on one with a specialist, then the places of the figures are marked with “anchors”, and the specialist moves from mark to mark and gets used to the sensations of this figure, then everything happens approximately the same as in group work. Work can be done in your imagination, alone with yourself.
Systematic consideration of problems
A widespread narrow view of certain negative actions or vices of a person often does not allow solving the problem, because often several people are involved in this and the reason, the source of such behavior may be in another person, and everything is blamed on the victim and they look for (and find) flaws in it. If you look at the problem more broadly, see a person as part of the system, pay attention to the relationship of elements, then often the situation is presented in a completely different light, and accordingly, other solutions appear.
Example "Man drinking"
The first husband of the woman left her and after a while she marries another, most likely not out of love. A woman is constantly dissatisfied with her new husband, compares him with others and finds flaws, and especially with the first. This happens as clearly - no matter what a man does, everything is not right, and on a subtle plane - a woman inside regularly aggresses, sends negative thoughts, does not respect and despises a man, instead of a house like a fortress, good comfort, only pummeling. The husband gradually begins to drink, because. cannot withstand constant attacks. Perhaps he does not realize the source of the problem, he feels that he is not feeling well, and in order to somehow get away from these feelings, he forgets himself in alcohol (see stunning). A man sacrifices himself to save his marriage.
Usually they say something like this: “everything is fine with him, because he drinks!”, “Go get coded!” (in this case, the opportunity to rest, defend for a short time is blocked, and then other, more serious consequences are likely, for example, heart problems and early death or “unmotivated” attacks of aggression and beatings), “such a wonderful woman was unlucky with a man” (the behavior of a person inside family and in public sometimes varies greatly, under the influence of various egregors, both the perception of the world and the roles played by a person are rebuilt. A woman may well be “soft and fluffy” in public. See the article about egregors and below in the text about their impact.), " stop drinking." To stop drinking, you need to see the source of the problem, as well as have the strength to make the decision to leave the relationship. Either a woman needs to figure out what is happening, where these emotions come from, what is their cause, and this is hard and you don’t want to look in that direction, because. something serious may emerge that requires a lot of energy and work on oneself. And in this case, to divert eyes, the stigma is hung that “a man is a drunkard” (a common version of the “solution” of the problem by the subconscious in order to reduce pressure on the consciousness. See the article on the work of the consciousness and the subconscious), then nothing needs to be done, the position of the victim is taken , all responsibility and blame is shifted to another. This is a special case, for illustration, there are other reasons for drunkenness and in each case you need to look individually.
As can be seen above, with an external declaration of any desires, often people inside themselves do not want changes, desires serve as a screen, speaking in this way or engaging in self-deception, a person receives some benefit. The actual realization of what is desired may not be beneficial for some participants at all, because can lead to a restructuring of the system and relationships within it, sometimes these relationships can stop (the husband sees that his wife did not marry for love and realizes the perniciousness of being with her further), even someone's death is possible (for example, when one person held another or wanted die instead of him, saying deep inside: "I'd rather be instead of you"). All objects (both egregors and people) that are not interested in real changes begin to resist as much as they can, create various temptations and unforeseen circumstances in order to return everything to its previous course (see also " Obstacles to change"). For example, as soon as a man comes close to understanding, the wife becomes “silky” (the state is often induced by egregor and unconsciously played out) and gradually takes him away from “bad” thoughts, or when the husband is ready for decisive action, urgent matters appear and thoughts come ( from the system) that it is better not to do this yet, the words sound inside: “well, be patient, wait a little more. Could everything change?" The states of a man can jump from “my foot will not be here anymore”, to the complete absurdity of previous thoughts and a lack of understanding of how he could think about it. These states strongly depend on which egregor the man is currently connected to, which subpersonality is active.
The impact of egregor on a person
After the arrangement, one can wonder how it happened that gradually a person began to reproduce other people's emotions, thoughts and attitudes towards other people, perception changed, began to feel, until recently, strangers, like his mother, husband, grandmother, brother, a lot was lived "as if by really" - such is the effect of egregore on a person. Few people transfer the experience gained to everyday life, wondering how much what we do every day, think, want, feel, live is our own, and not induced.
With the exit from the constellation field, the impact of egregors does not end, because. egregors are everywhere, a person simply moves from the area of management of one egregor to the area of \u200b\u200banother (see the example "Consultation with a psychologist"). A person goes out into the street and falls under the influence of a pedestrian egregore, which imperceptibly regulates the flow of people (you can feel the necessary speed of movement and some lines of force along which it is better to go. In the direction of those who violate the preferred speed and trajectory, for example, when a person walks across crowds or constantly abruptly changes direction and speed, egregore makes other people feel dissatisfied, aggressive), or motorists, or the subway. Then he comes to work, home or to the store - they also have their own egregors that control the situation and people's behavior.
Example "In the store"
A burning desire to buy something appears in the store and is somehow explained (or not explained at all), which after leaving the store can be perceived as superfluous and unnecessary, although at the moment of choosing it was felt as clearly necessary, almost vital. How longer man walks around the store, the higher the likelihood of falling into a semi-trance state and buying a lot of things that were not planned at all. Therefore, in many stores, bread is placed farther away, so that when following it, the buyer picks up something else along the way. Huge racks, a large selection, multi-colored packaging - all this disperses attention and contributes to the transition to the desired state. Listing, moving fast and focused reduce impulse buying.
Everything that happens is perceived personally, it seems to a person that the thoughts, emotions, impulses for action and the perception of other people are his own. In fact, the egregor leading the situation organizes a suitable set of circumstances, puts some roles on the participants and offers scenarios for the game that correspond to the roles, induces certain states. Given that a person is under the influence of the field not for 15 minutes, but most often much longer - often days and years, we can assume how powerful and deep this effect is, how familiar and imperceptible it is. In life, each person is even better an actor than in constellations, he gets used to the roles even better, learns them for a long time, perfectly and truly, selflessly performs.
Therefore, in most cases, the actions prescribed by the script are performed by a person without hesitation, automatically, from beginning to end, without assessing how useful they are and with full confidence that they are his own. Sometimes such reactions are inadequate to the situation, illogical and lead to negative consequences. Often scenarios are repeated more than once, and a person even notices that it ends badly, yet he enters them and works out, something sucks him in.
Example "Introduced Aggression"
A woman periodically finds a “causeless” feeling of hatred for men, she wants to take revenge on them, begins to perceive them as enemies who need to be punished. This feeling was passed on to her from her mother, whose husband mistreated his wife. It is clear that such obsessions have a bad effect on relationships with men who do not understand the periodic outbreaks of fierce hatred, aggression and destructive behavior. But the program, from time to time, turns on and the woman unconsciously produces a series of blows to "her enemies."
The solution will be to see what is really happening, that these feelings do not belong to her, but are induced, to disidentify. Many problems can be avoided by knowing the laws (orders) of family systems and the impact that their violation has on the lives of family members.
Ownership Law
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All members of the system have an equal right to belong to the genus, no one can be excluded, there is no division into good and bad. Members of the system include grandparents, parents, previous partners of parents and grandparents, someone who has seriously affected the system (for example, saved someone from the system members, or killed), children, aborted or stillborn, murderers and their victims, those who have suffered in any way from the actions of the members of the system, and whether these people are alive now or not, they are all part of the system. It often happens that some of the members of the system are forgotten or forced out, for example, parents are hurt inside because they had an abortion, they try to forget, not to think about what happened, thereby, as it were, trying to exclude the child from their family. Or relatives with a difficult fate, unusual by social standards, are rejected - they prefer not to talk about them, a certain taboo appears. |
In the event of any exclusion of one of the members, the system seeks to restore its integrity by the fact that the descendants begin to work out scenarios of behavior, carry the fate and feelings of the excluded, an identification occurs that people, most often, are not aware of.
Example "Remembering Grandpa"
Grandfather, a businessman, went bankrupt in one business, lost everything, his wife left him along with the child, and they prefer not to talk about him anymore. The grandson is also in business and as soon as he gets to the moment of significant success, he starts making mistake after mistake and eventually fails. This is how he remembers his grandfather. It is necessary to pay tribute to the fate of the grandfather, to lovingly acknowledge that he is part of the family, if possible, to establish contact with him.
You can look a little from the other side. Genus, egregore is a system that has its own tasks (karma), and family members are elements that perform certain functions. In the event of the exclusion of any of the family members, the functions are redistributed among the remaining participants, or the search for a person for the appropriate role begins (for example, it seems to a man that he is looking for a young mistress, but in fact, he misses his unborn daughter). When a suitable person appears, the system suggests the missing role to him, he unconsciously identifies with the excluded person and begins to perform his functions. If the displaced family member is remembered, given his due, then even if he has died long ago, he is still present in the system and there is no need to transfer his functions to someone else. The task of a person who is identified is to see the real situation, to understand with whom identification takes place, to include him in the system with love, then disidentification occurs, imposed functions, emotions, thoughts, life scenarios go to its owner and there is no longer a need to play someone else's role.
Law of Hierarchy
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The stream of life flows from the past into the future, from the earlier members of the system to the later ones, it cannot be turned back, it can only be passed on. For a family, the one who came into the system earlier is more important than those who came later. For example, parents are more important than children, an older child is more important than his brothers and sisters, grandparents are more important than parents. Therefore, later members of the family, often, unconsciously sacrifice themselves for the sake of the earlier ones, a special case is when a descendant begins to replace his ancestor to restore the integrity of the system, despite the fact that this harms him. And at the level of systems, newer systems are more important than the old ones, for example, the family of newlyweds is more important for their members than their former families where they were the children of their parents. Or a new family is more important than the former families of partners. |
Example "Accepted desire to die"
The granddaughter felt sadness and a desire to die. In the arrangement, it turned out that this feeling and desire to move into death was adopted from her mother. The mother had many abortions, she was sad for her unborn children and wanted to leave after them. Mom, in turn, adopted this feeling and life scenario from her grandmother, who also had many aborted children and a desire to follow them. The solution for the granddaughter, in this case, may be: to see what is happening, to disidentify, to leave the mother the opportunity to bear her fate and be responsible for the consequences of the decisions made.
Violation of the Law of Hierarchy will be various attempts by the younger ones to rise to the level or above the elders. For example, when a child interferes in the lives of parents, takes the position of a parent-educator in relation to them, takes the place of one of his parents (symbolic marriage), arrogance. The consequences can be completely different: conflicts with parents, energy exhaustion, illness, inability to find a mate or problems in the family, collapse. When a child somehow abandons his parent, for example, through aggression, arrogance, or one parent is forced out by another parent, the female or male flow ceases to flow to him, which leads to problems in relationships with the opposite sex, a lack of confidence, a feeling of support.
Law of Balance
| Relationships arise when one side gives something to the other. The one who gives feels a certain lightness, superiority and the right to demand. The recipient, on the other hand, has a feeling of guilt, internal tension, a desire to give something in return, and this internal feeling will torment the person until he restores the balance. So the system, through a sense of guilt and innocence, directs people to maintain balance, tries to balance the exchange within itself between equals in status - for example, between a husband and wife (see also about the exchange of energy and examples of restoring balance). |
When the balance is restored, the relationship may end, because. the tension goes away, the participants have a feeling of lightness. Therefore, in order to continue the relationship, if something good is received, you can return a little more so that the tension is constantly maintained, and the volume of exchange between people also grows, which leads to mutual enrichment, filling the participants and increasing the good. If a person has done something bad, then in order to continue the relationship and improve their quality, you need to return a little less bad, i.e. the volume of exchange in the bad will be less and less each time.
For those who have been treated unfairly, there is a trap and a great temptation to become an even greater aggressor, to turn into a cruel destroyer. The victim of a bad deed often inside feels his superiority over the offender, arrogance, there is a feeling of the right to demand, punish. Various thoughts can slip through, such as: “I am good, you are bad”, “I am much better, cleaner and higher than you”, “I am kind and tolerant, and you are evil, mean and unbalanced”, “I suffer and go to heaven and you, sinner, go to hell.” The victim sometimes relishes such thoughts, despises and swells in his arrogance, not noticing how his heart closes, he becomes callous, winds himself up (an astral-mental loop - when thoughts and emotions warm up and strengthen each other), fills with poison and gradually turns into the one whom recently cursed and with a clear conscience, under the pressure of increasing internal stress, commits even greater evil. The mind, with a closed heart, can come up with any justification for cruelty, and they will look quite adequate (“he is to blame”, “tit for tat”, “I eradicate injustice”, “I am only for the purpose of protection” - rationalization), at least least for the one who imagined himself.
In the event of an imbalance, when one gives more than the other, the destruction of the relationship is likely, because. the first begins to feel exhausted and superior, and the second is pushed out of the exchange under the pressure of guilt and an oppressive feeling of being inferior to the other. Sometimes the giver goes to great lengths to prevent the taker from repaying, so he wants to maintain a sense of superiority.
It is very difficult for the taker to sincerely admit that he receives more, that he is, as it were, lower. it is a relationship of equals and the transition to another status is a very serious blow to self-esteem. Refusal to another in equality inside is perceived as aggression and the taker experiences in this case:
- A deep sense of guilt and a strong desire to get out of the relationship, it just pushes
- aggression towards someone who tries to put himself above
- impulses to restore balance in good or bad. If the exchange cannot be balanced in a good way, i.e. there is no way to thank proportionately, then the option remains in the bad (in fact, in the amount of the difference in the exchange of good and the pressure that it exerts). These may be attempts to humiliate the giver, the desire for revenge, dirty tricks and other negative manifestations.
If balance is not restored, then a sense of duty or the right to demand, to take revenge can be transferred to the later members of the system.
Example "Partnership"
The man's ancestor treated his partner unfairly, deceived him. A man is engaged in business, opens companies, enters into partnerships, which end up being “thrown” in some way.
There is another type of relationship - one in which inequality is initially present and some give much more, while others take, for example, between parents and children or between a teacher and a student. In this case, the receiving party cannot return its debt to the one who gives, but can only pass on what was received, for example, to its students or children.
Birth
You can look at the birth of a person in such a way that a child, some time before conception, brings his future parents together, organizes the space and forms the conditions that he needs for birth. Accordingly, the situation in which the child was born, the conditions in which he grew up and the parents that he had - this is what he needs, no matter how difficult and traumatic his childhood may be. In this vein, reproaches or arrogant attitude towards parents about the conditions of their birth, as a rule, are not constructive: the child came to where he was supposed to.
What happens in the constellation is, first of all, the images in the language of which the field wants to tell something, help to see the cause of the problems and eliminate them. This language, first of all, should be understandable to the facilitator, who, in addition to what is happening in the constellation field, can directly receive images, the situation must be felt (see the article “Interpretation systems”). Also, this language is not universal - different hosts can interpret similar characters differently. Graduates of the same school will have more similar images (since the same program of interpretation was laid during training) than graduates from different schools. And, by and large, most often it does not matter in which generation the event occurred and with whom specifically (a woman in the fifth generation), but it is important to understand it, learn a lesson and remove the negative impact on the current life of the client. The scene that plays out in the field of constellation may never have occurred in the life of the clan in the form in which it was understood and interpreted by the participants. Often, to describe what is happening on the subtle plane, the language is much better suited not for events, but for energy flows and disturbances in their flow (see). In this case, one and the same problem from the point of view of flows can be presented in the form of different events, different life situations can lead to similar disturbances in the flow of energy. With the help of the arrangement, there is a harmonization of energy flows and their flow.
tell me, please, is there any benefit for the deputies from the constellation?
A person who participates in the constellation as a substitute gains experience, sometimes this leads to the solution of his personal problems. Having been as a deputy, the view of some relationships and the optimal model of behavior changes, a kind of view from the outside, which you will not get in ordinary life. For example, a mother is in conflict with her daughter, having participated in the constellation as a substitute for a daughter who is at war with her mother, she saw what her daughter really wants and how relationships can be improved.
about the diagnostic setup. why turn off the mind?
The mind contains a set of stereotypes embedded by someone, how one should and should not act, how one can and cannot, it can be very straightforward and constrained by all sorts of frames, dogmas. The mind can manipulate facts, engage in self-deception, rationalize. Far from always, what the mind insists on is useful for a person, as a rule, it leads a person along the beaten paths. Therefore, it is desirable to reduce its impact as much as possible in order to find really good decision that will please both the mind and the Soul.
What is "rationalization"?
rationalization - the selection of only some facts and the construction of conclusions based on them, allowing to maintain good image yourself (see rationalization in the section "Psychological defenses"). Self-deception, when one is passed off as one for the other (“I don’t scream, I have such a voice”, “My anger is righteous, I only act in self-defense” or “I do my best”, the statements look beautiful and believable, but most often they are lies). That. something can be hidden even for the person himself and the picture of what is happening will be distorted.
Are there any exceptions to the laws? are they always true?
The laws of family systems are a generalization made by Hellinger based on the practice of working with family systems, the translation of some patterns on a subtle plane into words, which is always associated with coarsening and a degree of inaccuracy. The laws within different egregors are not always the same, respectively, in different cultural environments and over time, the laws and consequences of certain actions may differ. Therefore, in each specific situation must be looked at individually. But in the vast majority of cases, they are correct. More abstractly, some actions create deformations in the normal flow of energy along the Genus, distort something, and on the physical plane this leads to various undesirable consequences. Here are some metaphorical examples:
- There is a powerful stream, and a person stands in front of him and tries to resist, resists, although the forces are completely unequal, respectively, the wear rate increases here, and sooner or later, alive or dead, what resisted will float further (resistance to something more).
- There is a flow of life-giving energy, and the person stepped aside, refuses and dies of thirst, instead of going with the flow (arrogance, exclusion of someone from the system).
- Someone was done badly, he wished all the “good” with all his strength, thereby poisoning the stream, adding a poisonous stream to it. It is possible that this will not respond to those who have committed a bad deed, but one of the descendants will fall into a negative stream. Therefore, those who are in the flow need to notice and neutralize this impact, for example, through reconciliation (balance disturbance, exclusion of someone from the system)
- Some element of the system directed part of its flow in the opposite direction from its descendants and the path followed by Rod. Descendants get only small streams. The flow gives strength and security.
- One of the family members removed some quality from the stream, or vice versa added it, and it is passed on to the descendants. For example, the withdrawn quality may be "warmth" or "joy of life", and the added "sadness" and "aggression" or "the ability to play music." The streams mix, then go deep, then float to the surface of the descendants.
Any person can be a deputy or are they somehow chosen? And how should the deputy behave?
Almost anyone. You can even never see the arrangement, come and immediately be a deputy. It is desirable for the deputy to turn off his head, not to try to analyze. Stand, pause, slow down, feel and gradually various sensations may come, for example, one of the participants in the arrangement will begin to like it or, on the contrary, be disgusted, if you want to move somewhere or be together with another figure - the field will begin to lead. Through the behavior and attitudes of the substitutes, the system reveals something important.
how does a specialist understand that something is broken, how can this be determined by looking at the arrangement from the outside?
You can feel, see inside, sometimes the deputies directly say what they feel and what they want, as well as by the external behavior and disposition of the participants. For example:
- the daughter stands next to the father, takes the place of the mother;
- the participant clenches his fists - aggression towards someone;
- deputies look at the floor - someone is missing, a dead child, an aborted child;
- the child follows the dead relative and wants to lie next to him;
- husband and wife want to separate, and the child tries to stop them.
how long to wait for the result?
Sometimes changes come immediately, at the moment of placement, for example, a person changes his attitude towards his parents, arrogance, blocks that prevented the flow of energy, go away. Sometimes it takes some time (from weeks to months), because. the system is gradually being rebuilt. It largely depends on the willingness of a person to change, to move in a new direction. Perestroika can be accompanied by crises - the old collapses to make room for the new, the scale is different.
what problems can result from violation of laws, are they specific?
The problems may be different. It all starts with the fact that the violation of laws leads to a violation in the flow of energy, and then it already takes on some form. It may be in the form of recurring events, it may be in the form of illness, in the form of weakness, failure, it may be in the form of scandals or in the form of a movement into death.
Good afternoon! Is one arrangement enough to solve the problem?
It all depends on the person and the situation. It happens that there are several interlacings, a lot of things need to be worked out, but a person does not have enough energy (this manifests itself in different ways - the group gets tired, the person no longer wants or cannot, the information closes, it becomes as if empty, something goes away - the system is gone , and people are still standing). Then it’s better to shoot everything gradually, with breaks between constellations, because. sometimes it takes time to change. Also, a person needs to prepare, although often the mind can adjust, say "faster, faster." You shouldn't go after him. When there is a bust, various mechanisms for protecting the psyche can work, for example, a state of shock, inappropriate chuckles, complete rejection, a person does not hear, misses his ears.
what can be the cause of failures in personal life, why do men seem to be absent?
There can be many reasons. When viewed from a systems perspective, influences can, for example, come from the family system as well as from systems of past relationships. Examples of reasons emanating from systemic disorders: a daughter is in a symbolic marriage, where the father takes the place of her husband, or the feeling that marrying a husband is dangerously transmitted from someone by birth, or the mother is not accepted and then the flow of female energy is attractive to men , decreases, or the daughter tries to keep her parents from divorce, she directs all her strength and attention there. Previous relationships can influence in such a way that with a visible separation, in fact, the relationship is not completed (any energy attracts a friend to a friend, for example, a feeling of resentment, aggression, claims, love), then a person hangs in them, is busy and cannot go further, is in the past and is experiencing. Sometimes it happens that a woman does find a man, but the flow is still oriented towards another person. Then both the man and their children receive less attention, warmth, energy.
Is it possible to remove the impact of systems on a person? protect yourself from it?
You can learn to track their influence, and then make a decision to act in accordance with what the egregor wants or in a different way. Much is imposed because a person does not track the source of impulses for action and perceives all impulses as his own, and accordingly implements them without hesitation (see the description of the process in the example “Consultation with a psychologist”). One of the main points in helping a person with family entanglements is to show that the role that a person plays was played by another person, that it is imposed. When a person sees this, a disidentification occurs. In the arrangement, the role is returned back to one of the ancestors. For more information, see the articles: "Egregors", "The invisible world and its impact on a person", "Identification, awareness, free will and choice".
Can you please tell me what could be wrong?
Feelings of guilt can be inherited through the family system from one of the ancestors. Feelings of guilt can arise in case of violation of the internal ethics of the system, i.e. rules, so the system shows a person which actions are desirable and approved by the system, and which are not (see "Conscience"). Guilt can also appear in case of imbalance in relations with any person.
what type of constellation is best for problem solving? do they differ in efficiency?
Different types of constellations (with deputies, on anchors, in imagination, via Skype...) can be considered as tools, and in some situations some are better suited, in others others. The main thing is to diagnose the source of the problem and work it out.
Can I see what's going on in my organization?
I happened to encounter the constellation method and nothing came of it, except for a deep distrust of it. It is doubtful to me that any person participating in the constellation is able to catch and correctly interpret (transmit in the constellation) information from the subtle world. After all, for this it is necessary to "block" one's Self - "turn off", and this is a very complex process that requires preparation. Am I wrong about something? and were there cases in your practice when the constellations "did not work".
It is doubtful to me that any person participating in the constellation is able to catch and correctly interpret (transmit in the constellation) information from the subtle world
Yes, capturing and completely correctly interpreting is a really difficult task. To interpret, you need to know yourself well enough (the better, the more accurate it will be) and to have energy. Sometimes a person feels, but cannot say, it is impossible to translate into words.
But, for work in the constellation, it is not necessary that the deputies be “ideal” and show and tell everything. Often, small basic feelings or slight movements are enough (for example, a person says that he feels sad, or is angry at another, or looks at the floor). These are all hints that help the leader to navigate, show where to go. So gradually, step by step, the ball is unraveled.
Much depends on the leader, on how well he can interpret the signals, and the fact that the deputies live, but do not notice for themselves, can be quite noticeable and understandable to the leader. Signals come not only from deputies (there are arrangements without deputies), but also directly to the leader, images of what is happening can appear. Hellinger, for example, had a constellation where a woman immediately, as soon as she sat down to him, wanted to start asking some questions (but these were not the right questions at all). He did not let her say anything, they sat for a couple of minutes, and after a pause he says: you know, you are going to leave (i.e. the woman is moving into death). And everything ... it was on point. The woman felt everything well, she cried, she knew it inside, but most likely she never confessed to anyone, and she wanted to make an arrangement about something completely different (see article “ Is the customer always right?"). Formally, the arrangement has not yet begun, but a lot has already been done.
and were there cases in your practice when the constellations "did not work"
I look at the arrangements as good idea, equipment for working with field processes. But this is a technique, not a guaranteed result. The result may not be (or completely different than the client wanted) for many reasons, including those depending on the host and the client (for example, the request was superficial, without energy, no one was interested in it, and the host did not notice this. I think , it would not be very good if Hellinger did not listen, did not look deeper, but immediately began to arrange what the woman wanted).
An interesting article, such a peculiar combination of Western psychology with some cabal approaches.
Cabalists believe that a person can influence his destiny by influencing his environment.
Of course, these approaches do not give universal answers, but the direction is right ...
Thanks for the feedback. Sometimes the intersection, the synthesis of several directions, allows you to highlight additional facets of life, they enrich each other. Each direction has its advantages and strengths.
What effect does the constellation and worked out flow have on siblings and other relatives knee above and below? Thanks to.
Depends on the situation in the system and arrangement, as well as on all listed family members. The arrangement helps to make changes in the system, as a result of which the roles and relationships between elements may partially change. As for the descendants, when the ancestors acquire a certain quality, the probability of passing this quality to the descendant increases (for example, warmth instead of the former coldness).
Please tell me if the arrangement will help if you can’t start a family (get married, have a baby) when there are no visible reasons (pretty, smart, everything is in order with health)
Deployment is a method. Like any other method, it is a tool that in itself does not give any guarantees. There are factors that affect a person. They can be conditionally divided into two groups - dynamics associated with the family system, which are not recognized, and personal traumas and features acquired in the current life, over which a person needs to work (and, as a rule, which he also does not notice). You can work on the first group of factors in a constellation, on the second - in the framework of counseling, analysis. In both situations, much depends on the person himself.
It is also desirable to take into account the fact that desire can be false, for example, formed due to the action of psychological defenses or under the influence of the environment.
Is it possible to find out the reasons with the help of constellations chronic diseases, or, for example, to find out why a person behaves in a certain way, what programs are in him, and do they help a person understand what he really is and what is his goal? Thanks))
About diseases. Sometimes - yes, you can find out and eliminate. See also the answer to the previous comment.
Why a person behaves in a certain way - there are many factors. Some forms of behavior, including those unconsciously adopted from one of the members of the genus, originate in the family system. About the sources of desires, motivation, programs - there is in the article " Fulfillment of desires", etc.
Understanding yourself and what the purpose of a person is is a gradual process. The first step towards it is to start observing your inner world, to highlight what is false, introduced in it, what forces are acting. Start consistently reducing the number of internal and external lies, then the picture becomes more transparent.
And what effect does the Orthodox egregore have on people? is it good or bad?
I can’t say anything unequivocally that something is good or bad - it depends on how you look. You can find both good and bad in everything. Egregor can help people, but at the same time, he charges for it, requires service.
Hello! Tell me if I understand correctly so that the arrangement brings desired result, you need to speak frankly and in detail about yourself, your family.
Is it possible in this case, to maintain confidentiality, to use pseudonyms and come to the constellation by changing the external image?
Will this have an impact on the result and are such changes fundamental for the work of the constellation therapist? Thank you in advance.
Indeed, there are times when a person, for one reason or another, would not like to take his situation outside. In this case, you can make a one-on-one arrangement with a specialist in whom you have confidence. Sometimes a special group of non-visitors also gathers (for example, when you need to make an arrangement related to business and do not want to advertise).
What to tell frankly - yes, within the framework of what the work will take place, the specialist may need some information (for example, if you are working on relationships in the current family, were there any other connections, were you married for the first time and etc. - depends on the situation).
Closeness can interfere with the process (but, as a rule, people are more or less closed, because the topics are complex). To some extent, a person (and the field that leads him) unconsciously sets himself to what depth it is necessary and possible to dive.
Another moment. Speaking abstractly, many problems appear when some kind of life experience of a family or a person is denied, rejected, excluded. In the constellation, there is often a manifestation and acceptance of this experience, so some stories may be revealed.
3 days ago I made an arrangement for ease in a relationship with a married man (after all, pain, suffering appear when you resist) I have one desire - to learn to appreciate myself, and forget about a 10-year romance! After the arrangement, I feel that something has changed, but I often remember him, even waking up, I understand what I think about him (but I don’t cry anymore). The question is how to help yourself not to think about it?
Svetlana, please look at the article “Social Interactions”, perhaps something will respond.
It would be useful to understand and realize why you think about it. You can also see the article “ Fulfillment of desires" - there is about psychological defenses and suppression, as well as questions and comments at the very bottom (thoughts, emotions, some states can be considered as signals about something, there is some kind of force behind them. Its rude suppression can lead to various consequences.). Are you not crying because it is “needed” (i.e. suppressed) or is it really an internal process that resulted in the need for tears gone?
About "don't think about him". Sometimes immersion in some other activity helps. But, this is a form of displacement, compensation. The most important thing is to understand why you think about this man and start from this (for example, you want a relationship, perhaps not necessarily with this man, but he and thoughts about him are a symbol. I’ll explain with an example. When a person has some kind of desire, he can be strongly attracted to those people with whom this desire can be realized, and as soon as the desire is realized, he may find that the desire to be with these people has disappeared, that there is nothing in common).
And there is another question - why?
Please tell me, can I participate in the constellations of my problem as a substitute for one of the participants in my own situation? I really want to feel it for myself.
Violation of what family laws can push to move into death?
Is it possible to get a money debt from a dishonorable person with the help of constellations? Or should I analyze this situation in terms of balance and understand that no one owes me anything? But then how can I protect myself from the negative energy influence of this person who does not want to repay the debt? (to suppress an unpleasant destructive feeling).
Should/shouldn't be a difficult question sometimes. human interactions are complex, as a rule. If a person has not fully figured out the issue and began to actively act, then he can mess things up. Sometimes, something happens that seems unfair, and then, after a while, a person may look at the situation differently. When a person is deceived, when it’s hard, he takes something out of the situation, learns something (perhaps he begins to look at himself and notice that this can happen in him too). Like a lesson. There are also various subtleties, for example, not the person himself, but through him money is withdrawn for something (for example, he did not give to someone to whom he should have given, and after a while money is taken away from him, he somehow loses it ).
But then how can I protect myself from the negative energy influence of this person who does not want to repay the debt?
I don’t know your situation, what kind of relationship you have with a person, whether there is and was there any conflict before. People, often decent, but sometimes some additional factors interfere in this moment to repay a debt. Did you ask why he didn't want to? In what form did you talk to him (sometimes there is such a form that you don’t want to give it away at all, for example, when there was a conflict)? Does he recognize the debt? Sometimes you can talk delicately with a person, accept the situation and decide together how he will give what he owes. Maybe he's having some trouble right now.
It happens that the only available way at the moment is to accept, to accept that the debt will not be returned, so as not to wind yourself up, not to poison both yourself and the person. Adapt and move on. An internal request from a good state (without malice, with respect) to repay a debt can help. Such requests can work well not only with debts. There are consequences for the debtor.
On this topic, you can see the article “ Social interactions"And" Loss and return of the soul", As well as read the story of Leo Tolstoy" Karma "(see" Useful books").
In December 2013, I made an arrangement at the request of money, business, improvement of well-being. The arrangement did not work out, i.e. by your definition« By itself, the arrangement is not only to view something, but also the impact, as well as a change in the situation, i.e. she organizes herself to do some work that is important» - the arrangement did not work out, the coach did not identify the reason, etc. Is this also some kind of indicator for me or in the professionalism of the coach?
I must add that over these 4 months my situation has worsened even more.
Thank you.
Was the alignment about you personally or about the organization?
About the quote:
By itself, the arrangement is not only to view something, but also the impact, as well as a change in the situation, i.e. she organizes herself to do some work that is important
This work is not necessarily what the client asked for, at the level of words, mind (see, for example, the article "The client is always right?"). It may be useful to see the article "Loss and return of the soul". There is a client, there is a specialist and there is a field. Field - directs. If something goes against the current, then the energy from the arrangement (as well as from some sphere of life) can leave, it crumples, goes through force, “nothing is visible”. Sometimes the cause of any trouble is unethical behavior towards oneself or others - the quality is blocked and the energy does not flow. Improvement comes as a result of working through lessons, better understanding, changes.
If the coach has not identified the cause, then there may be many options - for example, perhaps the root of the problem lies in another area, it may be a consequence of something or a way to pay attention to something, correct the course.
Perhaps you should pay attention to your condition. What is it. Better or worse. Is there anything that happened relatively recently (for example, half a year ago)? Is there energy in what you do, or does everything go through force, through forcing yourself? If through force, what can be done to change the situation? (See also the article “Why all this" and comments on it). This can shed light on important places - potential points for development.
In what way is the “ability to connect to energy field”, is absolutely any person able to “connect” to it so easily?
each person is constantly connected to one field or another. There are different fields in the constellation, including the field of the family system of which the person is a representative (which could have brought this person to the constellation). Not all fields can be connected. see the article "Egregors" about this.
Connection to one level or another is due to the direction of attention (as a rule, this all happens unconsciously - a person is in some place and begins to read and work out egregorial instructions. If a person is not welcome in this place, then he can be pushed out of there, egregor will induce discomfort, to attack). If there is no access to a certain layer, and a person persistently tries to enter, then he can simply connect to another layer, which will induce him certain states, dictate his will, etc. If a person does not follow the instructions of the field, does not catch its messages, then he can also jump onto some other one. This is to the fact that sometimes the arrangement can be significantly spoofed (for example, because someone stopped catching field signals and began to focus on some of their previous patterns, or, in places where the person himself has a lack of elaboration, his behavior begins become very rigid, or he stops noticing something, is blocked, the person is on a different wave), there may also be some movements, actions of people, but they will have a very distant relation to the real situation.
I read a lot in this direction, I can be wrong, but the closest in meaning is Vadim Zelanda, the author of the "Reality Transurfing" theory. It turns out that egregors (the personality inside us that you energetically feed are the same pendulums? field, layers is the space of options?, arrangement - "highlighting" possible options?
Hello, thank you for the useful and informative information.
Please help me understand why girls often subconsciously choose unsuitable partners for themselves?
How can you do the arrangement yourself? Or is it better to conduct the constellation under the guidance of a leading psychologist?
To do the arrangement yourself, you need experience. You can start by reading Hellinger's books. It is not necessary to do the arrangement literally, sometimes awareness and identification of “tails” is enough for the problems to transform.
Good afternoon. Does regular viewing of video seminars of Hellinger constellations somehow help in personal systemic problems human?
Each person has their own characteristics. For some, once is enough and there is no further interest in watching. It is interesting for someone to watch several times, attuning and getting something new for themselves each time.
Therefore, it is all individual. You can ask yourself inside the question of whether it is interesting, and observe whether there is a real benefit (for example, a person forgave someone close for something that he could not accept before, became softer), whether there are changes. The purpose of certain events is internal change. Internal changes will lead to external changes.
On the other hand, you can look in different ways, and regular viewing can serve the purpose of calming the mind, which says that it is doing a useful thing, is being transformed. In fact, a person avoids meeting with his problems and leaves the study. A person tries to replace internal work with external plausible measures.
Guarantees and promises about something can tempt a person to shift full responsibility to the one who guarantees and not make the necessary personal efforts to materialize the desired. A person can watch a large number of times, but closing himself, do not let energy into his heart, do not reconsider his life, do not transform himself.
If there is interest, attunement and inner work, then viewing the records of the Masters can be a good help in the transformation. Teachers broadcast wisdom and grace, allow you to go beyond the boundaries of the previous framework.
Information about egregors is the personal opinion of the author (which is not indicated), why drag this into the name of Hellinger, who never mentioned this and misinform people. The examples are rather strange - from whose practice are they?
From Hellinger's book "The Source Doesn't Need to Ask the Way":
Rupert Sheldrake describes in his books the properties and action of morphogenetic fields - force fields that determine certain structures. He told me that in the process of family constellations, you can directly observe how the morphogenetic fields operate.
I wondered if his observations could apply to other things as well? But what if a certain group of people is bound by a certain way of thinking, which complicates the process of awareness for such a group. Are the events taking place in the family a model that is determined by the morphogenetic field of the family. If, for example, someone in the family commits suicide, suicide is often repeated in the next generations. This happens not only because one of the family members wants to follow the deceased, but also because a pattern has been created.
Sheldrake noticed that when a new crystal is formed, its structure has not yet been set. If a new crystal is formed in the same bond, its structure is similar to that of the first crystal. This is the memory of the first crystal. This means that the morphogenetic field has a memory. Therefore, each new crystal will most likely be similar to the first one. In the process of repeated repetition, a certain pattern is fixed. Perhaps similar fates develop in a similar way.
Sample Interruption
This movement must be stopped. The recognition of this movement and its interruption require great courage to do something fundamentally new. If the interrupt succeeds, it is a special achievement. Interruption cannot be achieved by simply going with the flow. You need to retreat. Instead of going with the flow, you need to go ashore, look at the river, recognize the old and recognize the new. Then decide what to do.
The examples are rather strange - from whose practice are they?
if you allow yourself not to reject and observe more closely, they will become examples from your practice. The following paragraph is from The Source Doesn't Need to Ask the Way:
The family has memory. Information from family memory that is born is a gift. But this gift is held tightly by the darkness and the hidden where it came from. This means that its essence remains hidden for us. We don't know where he came from or where. It is hidden not only from us, it is hidden in general, which means that we do not have access to it. We can and dare to dispose of this gift only at the moment when it appears to us, and we must stop when it disappears again.
What is revealed does not reveal to us the hidden and secret, it is shown within certain boundaries. Our views overshadow it, superimposed on what has come to light. Our own view of this (if it has formed) allows us to remain subjective and stands in the way of knowledge. What has come to light, on the contrary, pushes us to the unfamiliar, unusual and new.
Concentrating in the process of such work, we turn our gaze to what remains hidden, what is beyond the revealed. We submit not only to what is revealed, but also to what remains hidden, to what appeared and disappeared again. We are in tune with both movements and obey both. This work reveals the essential, so it is not limited to the superficial, for example, only the healing of the disease. Therefore, it is much more important than psychotherapy as such.
Good afternoon, Alexey.
I recently heard that after constellations it is recommended not to take any important decisions within a month. To what extent is this recommendation valid?
Alena, good afternoon!
The fact that a month is conditional, in each specific case, you need to look individually (and what is important and what is not - each person can evaluate in his own way. The fact that a person came to the constellation, as well as those conclusions to which he consciously or unconsciously came in its process - this is very important). The fact is that a person has done work, new energies have come and it is necessary to process them, change, which takes time, and also some people can bring disharmony with their sharp obvious initiatives (a person from the mind can focus processes that are still being built, and therefore interfere. People, systems have their own rate of change, transformation, if it is not taken into account, then you can overload and create additional difficulties. A carrot grows at its own pace, if you pull it by force, it will not be better from this). When the person inside changed, when he switched to new level awareness, new energies, he can notice how the reality around him began to gradually change, which takes time.
Thanks for the detailed article, but I had a question at the very beginning. How did Bert Hellinger understand that past events affect the present? So he saw it in the lives of the test subjects? How many such cases were there? And what if the history of one of the branches of the genus is unknown? That is, we cannot stage an event because we do not know about it. Or maybe it's in this event? Then it turns out that the arrangement based on known facts won't help us. How do I know if I know enough family history to know if the constellation will help me improve family relationships?
And what if the history of one of the branches of the genus is unknown? That is, we cannot stage an event because we do not know about it.
Tatyana, during the arrangement, the event is not staged. Often, even questions about the past of the family are not asked, or the specialist asks them one on one. Then the deputies are placed in the constellation (in certain roles) and they begin to broadcast what they feel (they usually don’t know about family stories. It’s even better if those who are not familiar with the family and the person who ordered the constellation participate in the constellation - so that there is no play). Sometimes the alignment is done blind - deputies are introduced into the alignment without saying what role they play. Feelings, sensations, experiences on the participants leads the field. Sometimes something that is important appears, but what was previously hidden, was not discussed in the family.
How do I know if I know enough family history to know if the constellation will help me improve family relationships?
It is necessary to consult with a specialist, from whom you are potentially planning to do the alignment. Sometimes it happens that instead of constellation, some other activities, such as a consultation, may be better suited.
Hello, thank you for interpreting the incomprehensible and invisible so clearly and clearly. And about the assemblage point, and about vampirism. Learned a lot, thank you!
If good things are given to a person, and if he cannot give good things in proportion, then he gives bad things, devalues, humiliates ...
Question: why can't this person also give back the good? Doesn't want to? Or is he just not good enough?
It happens in different ways, it is necessary to consider each situation separately. For example, he may not have something commensurate with what he has received (the relationship between parents and child, student and teacher). Maybe greed too. And it may also be that the one who gives thinks that he is giving something good, but in fact it is not so (often behind outwardly beautiful words and gestures there may be hidden not so beautiful internal motives that a person may not even be aware, for example, to rise above another). In the latter case, the reaction of the one who received it may not be outside, but on the content, and then the desire to devalue, humiliate seem quite adequate for the subconscious. Also, the subconscious is engaged in maintaining life and it can be very tenacious to resources, and therefore it can be difficult for it to give.
Hello!
Participated in the arrangement as a deputy. It seems that after the arrangement she took off this image. But after a night, I realize that I missed it. The same sensations as during the arrangement. Plus dreams reflecting that situation. What to do in this case?
Elena, good afternoon! Try what it says here: "Exit obsessive state". Further, it is important not to close your thoughts on the previous state, to switch and keep your attention on something else.
Also see if there is any resonance in what happened in the constellation with your situation? Your subconscious may remind you of something that you should pay attention to.
Alexey, tell me, please, sometimes I watch constellations, or the work of Gestal therapists, and I ask myself: when I was 19-20 years old, I had 4 abortions for a short period of up to 2 weeks. I well understand that at that time I could not give birth to these children. At that point in my life, this was the best decision I ever made for these children. And I have no guilt about these aborted babies. This is fine? I look at many women, how they suffer and so on, and I am afraid that I do not suffer. Thanks
In a family of one young man The dog began to get very sick and it was decided to euthanize her. Then the dog was buried. The young man then had no feelings, except for a slight relief. That period in a person's life was a difficult black streak, and caring for a dog, in addition to other tasks and difficulties, lay entirely on him. After about 7 years, gradually thawing, he shed a lot of tears about his dog. He gradually realized that, probably, there was no other way out then, but there was pain and she had been inside all these years, but in a depressed state. Before, he had thought that he had come through the death of the dog easily and that it had not affected him in any way. Some strong experiences may be temporarily closed to a person. A person may have a certain threshold, a level of pain that he can live through and process. If there are no resources for living, if this level goes beyond, then experiences can simply be blocked and suppressed. The subconscious, as a measure of protection, can block a person's attempts to penetrate deeper (a person, for example, can forget something, not dive deep into something).
This is not necessary in your case, but worth a closer look.
Good afternoon! Could you tell me, please, what is meant by the arrangement related to business? Setting for the success of your business?
With the help of the arrangement, you can identify and resolve issues that are somehow related to the business. For example, this can be the identification of relationships between employees, bottlenecks, potential sources of problems and difficulties, what hinders, decision making, choosing the right position for an employee, balances within the organization.
Hello. How can you improve your relationship with your teenage son using constellation? Remove bad habits and regain respect. Thanks
Lyudmila, I can't write any algorithm. For some situations, the arrangement is better suited, and for others - something else. Here it is necessary to make a constellation, and the constellator already looks at the situation and makes some decisions. Or, as part of the consultation, to understand what is happening in your relationship, as well as the characteristics of you and your child, to find out what he wants.
Hello Alexey!
Can constellations be harmful or dangerous? For example, the role (program, energy) broadcast by a person in the field remains, does not leave it. And there is no strength, experience, skills and knowledge (both one's own and a specialist's) to get rid of the "obsession". What, in your opinion, can be the consequences in such situations?
Nothing should be treated superficially and recklessly. Any method, if it has great potential, great power of influence, then, accordingly, much can be done with it. Fire can be used for good, but it can also bring trouble if you treat it carelessly. Constellation is work at a deep level, with the help of collective energy.
Artyom, yes, some roles can be very unpleasant for a person, for example, a long stay in some roles of a destructive nature. Sometimes the alignment goes in the wrong direction and this can be perceived by the participants as a depressing state, when the energy quickly ends and heaviness piles up (for example, when the request is not correct, and the specialist, for one reason or another, follows the lead of the client). But, as a rule, this is individual, and if it is unpleasant to be in a role, then you can ask the host to replace you. If the usual ways to get out of the role did not work out (usually this is a kind of ritual at the end of each constellation, when, for example, the client comes up to each participant and says: “You are not my dad, you are Fedya”, shaking, etc. “Smoke breaks”, i.e. tea and communication with others also help a person shift his assemblage point to another position), try the technique of getting out of an obsessive state. You can take a contrast shower. And it is very important not to mentally get stuck on the plot, i.e. you need to remove the role and, by an effort of will, transfer your attention to something else, winding up strengthens the contact, the person nourishes the connection with the object of his attention.
The fact that a person does not have the strength, experience, knowledge and skills - this can be a garter, a program that instills uncertainty, a person begins to wind himself up and himself, with his own strength, makes an elephant out of a fly, i.e. it would be enough for him to simply switch his attention and everything would be fine, but the doubt that was invested in him can begin to torment him (some people “wind up” and bind their clients in this way: that is, scared, gave rise to doubt, a person is himself arranged everything and then runs to the one who will save him from the problem).
Some psychics have such a safety technique so as not to boil in the problems of the client, not to feed him energetically - they simply forget what they talked about with him as soon as he left, i.e. they turn off and no longer stick to the client's problems, so as not to be a battery. The specialist, one way or another, in close interaction with the client, comes into contact with the energies in which the person lives, i.e. for him, this is not just a conversation, and if there is no some kind of protection, safety precautions are not observed, then you can thoroughly load yourself. These processes take place not only in constellations, but in general everywhere (for example, when communicating, another person can put a certain role on a person, transfer energy). The role connects a person to certain objects of the subtle plane. They say that one actor, after playing some difficult role, each time got drunk until he lost consciousness in order to break this connection. The role can also resonate with some program that a person already has, the role simply activates something inside him, a process that is not connected with the placement can begin to unwind.
A person is very complex, he does a lot unconsciously, including, for example, he can use some kind of stunning methods to disconnect from an unwanted signal, as well as internal systems, which are aimed at restoring it and maintaining it in a certain stable state (this is their plus and minus - for positive changes, you also sometimes have to overcome inertial resistance. See the example of jumping out of a state through chatter). The body sometimes knows very well what to do and how to do it.
These egregors and systems are very similar to the pendulums in Zeland's books, can't you just refuse to participate in family systems? The system described by the author looks like a playful, capricious puppeteer, as for me there is nothing good and instructive about them at all. Even if we take the case of a mother who wanted to have an abortion and her daughter, the daughter did not exclude her mother in any way, right? for some reason, according to the laws of the hierarchy, at the whim of the system, she began to experience suicidal feelings. Well, the daughter adopted these feelings from her mother ... (then it turns out that the mother no longer feels guilty?). In general, I mean that if the daughter really had to do something understand, that's what systems are dangerous, and need to be more cool...
Can't you just opt out of family systems?
A person does not just get into and is in some kind of system. He has certain tasks in front of her, as well as support, privileges, protection from the system. Also, a person, usually, perceives all the signals that arise from him as “I”.
As for me, there is nothing good and instructive in them at all.
I suggest looking in more detail. Sometimes a person has a desire to give up something abruptly and recklessly. Take and reject something that he does not like (he already has certain ideas about how it should be. from where? sometimes these ideas are suggestions of the same systems). There is also a tendency to find some kind of enemy outside and attribute all misfortunes and all bad things to him.
In general, I mean that if my daughter really had to understand something, it was that the systems are dangerous, and you need to be more cold-blooded
I propose to look at systems, including as organizing structures that guide. The system, for example, by inducing a certain state, can solve important problems, the resolution of which is important for all participants in the system. Some categorical decisions, when a person does not see all the connections, complexity and consequences, can lead to an aggravation of the situation. Awareness and manifestation is very important - this gives a lot in order for the situation to change.
Frequent subconscious expectations of a person, which can hardly be called constructive, are as follows:
- the arrangement will solve all my problems;
- the constellator should do exactly what I want;
- I need to go to the alignment and nothing more is required of me;
- I do not bear any responsibility, the constellator is responsible for the result, he must do something and come up with something so that everything is fine;
- to achieve the desired result, you just need to do more constellations (there are people who are ready to do constellations every other day);
- I will make an arrangement and everything will work out right away, the desired result should appear immediately;
- if there was no miracle, if emotions did not gush like a river, then this is not an arrangement at all;
- the situation will change, but I will remain the same;
- paying for the arrangement, I pay for the guaranteed result.
On the last point. Payment goes for the time, experience and attention of the specialist, as well as the attention of other participants, for the maintenance of the office and other administrative expenses. The psyche is very complex, a person has various connections with systems - and all this affects him. Recklessly guaranteeing something is very arrogant, you can only move in a certain direction (in accordance with the Movement of the Spirit). A person's desires can be false, due to certain reasons, unrealizable, and also leading to negative consequences that a person is not aware of. During the movement, both the current request and the perception of what the person wanted before can change.
can i order a set from you?
At the moment, consultations are only possible by e-mail.
Alexey, hello! Thank you for such an informative article! I had a question: can descendants pay for the mistakes of their ancestors (this may include abortion and alcoholism) by the fact that they are pursued by constant failures, problems in financial terms, work? The general feeling of life is continuous difficulties, it is not easy to live constantly in anticipation of at least something good ... And will the arrangement be effective in this situation? Thanks
And will the arrangement be effective in this situation?
See also the comment above.
Hello! I am very susceptible to the negative influences of other people. When I fall under the influence of some person, it is as if I lose my individuality. I begin to experience completely alien emotions and feelings (for example, a strong feeling of guilt, although there is no reason for this) and I perceive these feelings and thoughts as my own. That is, I constantly take the place of the figure to which they are directed negative energy some kind of person. And I take on the role of this figure. Why it happens? Why do I always identify with someone? As if attracting me to someone's role. Thanks.
Or maybe all people constantly fall under someone's influence and one must be able to see this and disidentify in time?
Why it happens? Why do I always identify with someone? As if attracting me to someone's role.
Perhaps the point is not in the role and not in the impact, but in good sensitivity, when one person well captures the state of another. This can be useful as well. If the sensations are unpleasant, then you can try to disidentify, for example, using the technique of getting out of the obsessive state.
It is also advisable to try to track the situations in which capture occurs. Perhaps the sensations of others are projections, i.e. with the help of others, the suppressed energy inside is manifested, to which a person does not want to pay attention.
Assuming the idea that a man's craving for a young girl is an unconscious longing for unborn child how to properly treat this man's wife?
Elena, the situation, I think, is difficult and painful, but she is needed for something, probably for some kind of internal changes. Crises can serve as a source of growth, a way to make a person look at something, penetrate deeper into the situation, discover something new for himself. Crises through pain give energy to change, can push for learning.
Assuming the idea that a man's craving for a young girl is an unconscious longing for an unborn child
The thing is, it's a hypothesis. It's better to test the hypothesis. In particular, for example, in the arrangement, to see how things are going. Situations are different, the reasons for this or that behavior may be different. You can understand the situation and not within the framework of constellations, for example, to understand what it is for you personally, what feelings you experience and what you can do with the current situation, what you want inside. Also, since the situation is family, it would be nice to know what a man thinks, how he feels, how he looks at the situation, how he is inside. What are the circumstances of living together.
Outwardly identical consequences can be the result of different influences, and therefore it is desirable to consider each situation as unique, without any attempt to fit it into a certain pattern or desired expectations.
Also, it is advisable to remember that the subconscious mind can actively impose some hypotheses on a person: for one reason or another, they are convenient for him (for example, there is already a certain arrangement, there is property, there is some well-established, convenience and predictability), and then look at the situation, delve into going deeper than that can be painful for him and fraught with great perversions. The subconscious may include various psychological defenses.
what is the right way to treat this man's wife?
The attitude to the situation, as a rule, cannot be changed by a conscious decision, the subconscious has its own attitude and it stands on it (“you can lead a horse to the river, but you cannot make it drink”). A person can only suppress, closing himself off from information and experiences, but they will not go away. The attitude to the situation changes when a person inside changes, when an essential restructuring takes place, i.e. the change of attitude occurs indirectly, through development.
The question of how it is right - each person has his own answer inside, he consciously or unconsciously accepts his choice. For one, one thing is right, for another - another. Someone can accept the situation as it is and continue to live together, but, having switched to something else, the situation does not suit someone at all and, for example, decides to disperse, the third decides to explore the topic. And the situations themselves can be different: sometimes the relationship has come to an end, people are not interested in each other, the plot is completed, and further holding the situation only leads to an increase in tension.
Alexey, thank you for the information, for the calmness and wisdom with which you answer questions
Hello, thank you for the article! Self-esteem and how to learn to trust your inner voice, where to find information?
Please advise
About self-esteem. Often self-esteem depends on what a person is identified with, i.e. it is not constant, but can change from time to time. For example, a person was in a bad mood, he made mistakes as an employee, worried about this, it seems to him that he can’t do anything, and then, at a football match, his favorite team won and he felt a surge of strength, joy, confidence, a feeling that he can move mountains. A person can be identified with any long-term programs, serve High ideals, receive strength and support from them, which can give him a certain stability in self-esteem, then he looks at the situation that happens to him in life, from the position of the object to which it serves (for example, it implements big project and within the framework of this project, a hitch or a mistake at work looks insignificant, the main thing is that he sees that he is gradually moving forward step by step). Also, a person can change the object of his identification quite chaotically, then his mood, self-esteem and feeling can also roll up chaotically (see the description of an infantile personality in the article “Levels of Personality Development”).
A certain egregore can stand behind a person (for example, a family or a team) and the person is perceived as self-confident, powerful, with high self-esteem. This, at times, egregor gives him strength, energy, confidence, stability, support, as well as instructions on what to do and how. A person uses the resources and potential of the team to promote the interests of this team. Egregor gives strength, energy, forms events, allows you to have a more powerful impact on other people, hypnotize them (shift their assemblage point), bewitch. When the egregore departs from a person, then a person can become completely different: his charisma, confidence and power can disappear.
From time to time, you can find advice on how to raise your self-esteem (for example, in the areas of sales, management). But it is far from always useful to do it by straightforward methods, self-hypnosis, hard commands. Sometimes a person pumps himself up, says that he has high self-esteem, that he is confident in himself and tries to behave like a confident person, like someone who has high self-esteem. But, if there is nothing behind this (for example, some object, quality that gives strength, confidence), then he is forced to use various psychological defenses in order to hide situations and signs from himself that he is not sure of himself, where is the external the manifestation of his self-esteem does not correspond to what he thinks he should be. Tension grows inside a person, he looks hard, angular, artificial, fussy. Several different forces are fighting inside him, this weakens him, fetters him energetically, and at one moment he may not be able to withstand the whole unreal bubble that he pumped up, bursts, and the person finds himself in an energy hole, depression. All the old superficial pops up before his eyes, which can be a strong blow. Persistence, perseverance manifest as long as there is energy, if there is no energy, if nothing feeds this perseverance, then they can disappear.
Sometimes it is better to raise self-esteem indirectly, when a person, for example, serves a certain quality, ideal, gradually develops, gains experience and imperceptibly grows his self-esteem, self-confidence, stability. Those. self-esteem can change as a result of work on oneself, indirectly, when a person does a certain job, learns to overcome the resistance of the material. To develop any qualities in oneself, it is necessary to remember the principle of Sautrna: systematically, gradually, without sharp unprepared jumps, otherwise the more severe fettering and limiting qualities of this planet may turn on, including in the form of the effects described above. Saturn is responsible for depression, stiffness, lack of energy, in its high octave it is responsible for wisdom (see also about Saturn).
Thank you very much, Alexey for the materials and your work.
Within the framework of the commentary, there is no way to answer personal questions (“why am I like this?”, “How can I do that ...?”, “What should I do?”, “Is it useful for me ...?” and the like). Such questions often do not have a ready answer, and require studying the specific situation of a person and working with him, i.e. one or more consultations. See the parable at the very beginning of the article Systems of Interpretation.
Questions "Is it effective ...?" “will it help me...?”, “whom should I choose?” often assume the expectation of a certain guarantee on my part, but I cannot give it, because. if, for example, a person goes to a specialist or does something on his own, then I don’t manage this process in any way, I’m not responsible for it, and I can’t promise anything.
