Greetings to all! Today I'm going to teach you meditation loving kindness that will open up the potential in you to show love, compassion, kindness and empathy. You can direct these qualities not only to other people, but also to yourself. Through practice, you will learn to love yourself and be sensitive to your own shortcomings.

Long time I have not used any meditation techniques except one: believing that it is the main and main technique, and all other meditations are just derivatives of it. I cannot say that my belief has changed now. Indeed, many different meditation practices are similar and are based on the same principle. But, nevertheless, there are techniques that have a clearer specification and are mainly aimed at some one goal.

Different meditation practices

For example, there are universal shoes - sneakers or sneakers, in them, in principle, you can walk in the city, in nature, play sports, play active games etc. But there are shoes that are specifically suited for a particular purpose, such as soccer shoes or trekking boots. They cannot be used in any situation, but on the other hand, in football or on long hikes, respectively, they will be indispensable.

So, meditation with concentration on the breath is your sneaker. It serves many purposes at once: it trains, promotes, teaches you not to succumb to unwanted emotions, gives rise to calmness, acceptance, and, at the same time, develops love and compassion.

It can be said to be a “universal shoe” that will fit in all situations. But if you want to further improve in practice, while focusing on certain aspects of it, then it will be very useful to study less universal, but more effective practices for specific purposes.

One of them is loving kindness meditation or Metta meditation. The first mentions of this technique date back to the heyday of Buddhism two and a half thousand years ago. With her help, the followers of the Buddha developed compassion for all living beings, which is a virtue of Buddhism (and indeed, all religions).

Scientific Research on Loving-Kindness Meditation

But in our time, this meditation has become popular and is used by many people, regardless of their religion. She is described in a large number modern books. This technique is recommended for all people who suffer from anger, irritation, insomnia, indifference and lack of compassion and love, or those who simply want to reveal more potential for compassion and kindness in themselves. Recent brain research has shown (Studies by Barbara Fredrickson, Richard J. Davidson) that this type of meditation contributes to the emergence positive emotions , develops a person's ability to put himself in the shoes of others, improves and reduces anxiety, which has a beneficial effect on people with depression and panic disorder.

The results of the experiments by James Gross of Stanford demonstrated that the seven-minute practice of Metta Meditation enhances a sense of closeness and connection with the person you imagine during meditation.

Compassion and health

Other studies show (Steve Cole, B. Fredrickson, Sarah Konrath) that compassion, altruism, empathy have a strong positive effect on a person's mental and even physical health: they prolong life, strengthen immunity and even reduce the likelihood of developing cancer. Whereas the absence of these qualities can pose a greater danger to human health than smoking, obesity and high blood pressure!

Empathy, kindness are innate qualities, shaped by nature in order for us to survive. Caring for others is natural. Empathy is more than just man-made norms of behavior and morality. Love rests in our nature, and without it a person becomes withdrawn and unhappy. But it's wrong to think that love is given only from birth, love can be developed through certain practices.

One of these exercises is meditation, and especially Metta Meditation.

Who is Metta Meditation for?

I believe that absolutely everyone needs this practice. So is sports. This is not to say that only people with health problems should go in for sports. Such problems only increase the need for sports activities, but the absence of problems does not at all negate the benefits of sports for perfectly healthy people.
Although I believe that everyone should practice, the following prerequisites make Metta Meditation strictly necessary for you if:

• You are often angry with people, feel resentment, wish for evil
• It's hard for you to endure other people's shortcomings
• You find it difficult to put up with the fact that people are not what you would like to see them.
• Other people's problems do not evoke sympathy, you are indifferent to them. You constantly think about yourself
• It is difficult for you to be loving to yourself. You are too demanding, you do not know how to forgive yourself for mistakes. You hate and despise yourself
• There is a lot of stress in your life.
• You are tormented by insomnia
• You are constantly "living in your head"
• You work with people (or animals) to help them. Their health or development depends on you. If you are a doctor, veterinarian, practicing psychologist, teacher at a school or kindergarten then this practice is for you

Exercising in spite

When I first learned about the practice, I was skeptical about it. I didn't like the idea of ​​affirmations, it seemed to me like a kind of self-hypnosis, to which meditation should have nothing to do. Meditation, in my opinion, is not intended to evoke any emotions, it teaches you to be with what is.

But as I practiced "normal" meditation with concentration on the breath, I felt more and more the need to add something else to it. I saw that our attention controls our mood: we gradually become what we direct our inner gaze to.

As the German philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche said: "If you look into the abyss, the abyss will be reflected in you!" I cannot but agree with this! In one book I read that many people practice anger, intolerance, and gloating on a daily basis without realizing it. This happens when they mentally condemn someone, wish this person evil, replay scenes of revenge.

And then the anger is reflected in them. The more they practice anger, the more they become angry, not only towards a person, but also towards themselves and other people.

(It is appropriate here to recall the psychological theory of mental modules, which I talked about in a series of articles "". According to this theory, a certain mental module (a separate module can be associated with both the manifestation of aggression and the feeling of empathy) becomes dominant when our attention for example, if we constantly have sex, always think about it, then we want sex more and this desire becomes uncontrollable. It is a mistake to think that the more we do this, the more satisfaction we will come. we tease our desire and our dissatisfaction grows.)

Penetrating into all corners of life, irritation and bitterness poison a person, destroy his health and life!

But since we can voluntarily destroy ourselves with anger by exercising it, why don't we exercise understanding, empathy, and kindness to help ourselves?
This argument was a strong impetus for my practice of Metta Meditation.

The second prerequisite for her was the understanding that in ordinary meditation with breathing we also practice love. Although this does not become clear immediately. At the beginning of the practice, it may seem that we are only practicing in order to relax, to stop thinking about problems. But practice goes far beyond these aspects. As we meditate, we exercise love and acceptance for ourselves and everything that happens! We learn with love and calmness to relate to the fact that our mind is constantly worried, jumping from subject to subject. We learn to accept any of our thoughts and emotions, whatever they may be, to treat them with patience and compassion. As we become more patient and empathic with ourselves, then our compassion for those around us grows.

During meditation, we train our mind not to attribute such importance to momentary desires and impulses. This leads not only to an improvement in self-control, but also to the disappearance of the egocentric, conditioned only by their own interests, the perspective of looking at the world and the people around them. From this point of view almost any meditation is an exercise in love, patience, compassion.

And we certainly shouldn't neglect these aspects of the practice. If some kind of meditation helps us to focus completely on them, then it will be good if we begin to practice such meditation.

Running helps to improve heart and lung function and develop leg muscles. But if we want to have very strong legs, then it does not hurt us to add squats with a barbell to the run.
I am in favor of using this approach in relation to self-development. And to work well different sides personality, it is better to use several techniques.

How to do it?

I will offer you several variations of the Metta meditation technique. The first of them, one might say, "canonical", described in a variety of modern literature. The second is my slightly adapted version. If you don't like thoughtless affirmations, then the one I use is more suitable for you. In any case, the choice is yours. You can try both methods and choose the one that suits you best. Or come up with your own technique by adding elements from the two below. Nobody limits you! Try to listen to yourself to understand what is best for you!

Take some time to practice, starting at 5-7 minutes ending with any length of time. But in the beginning it is better not to do more than 20 - 30 minutes per session. Personally, I practice right after the usual concentration on the breath. This practice I do 25 minutes, then my alarm rings and for about 5 minutes (without timing, it feels like), I do Metta. It suits me well. According to subjective observations, loving-kindness meditation helps to direct the state obtained through ordinary meditation (which is more neutral) in the direction of love and kindness, as if to consolidate the experience at this point. But, I repeat, do as you see fit. Experiment, try.

Now let's move on to two practice options.

First option

1. Let's get started! Relax. Sit with your back straight and close your eyes, just as you would during normal meditation with concentration on the breath. Observe your breath for a few minutes to calm your mind a little. Tune in to practice for a minute or two, tracking each inhalation and exhalation.
2. Next, focus on yourself. Wish yourself happiness, freedom from suffering and good health... Say these wishes to yourself slowly. "I wish myself to be happy", "I wish to be free from suffering", "I wish myself to have good health". You can do it in time with your breath. Then concentrate a little on the sensations that have arisen. Direct your breath into them.
3. Then visualize a loved one or good friend... Also wish him what you wish for yourself. Send your love to him mentally. After that, rest a little with your breath. As you move on to each new stage, try to notice if you have any tension inside. Direct the breath mentally to the areas where it occurs, stay with it, and relax. If you are distracted by thoughts, there is absolutely nothing wrong with that, this is how our mind is arranged, it constantly thinks about something, do not worry about it. I also think constantly during meditation. Some people just can't do anything about it. But this does not mean that meditation is wasted! Just as soon as you notice that you have begun to think about some extraneous things, calmly transfer your attention to breathing.
4. Bring your attention to a neutral person. This could be your work colleague, neighbor, or hired worker. A person you know, with whom you communicate, but do not have any emotions for him. Wish him happiness, freedom from suffering and good health. Give him love. If you find it difficult to imagine this love, then imagine the feelings of the person who loves you, and try to feel what he is feeling and direct these feelings to the other person.
5. Imagine a stranger, a person you just saw once. Your son's classmate whom you spotted in the photo. A pensioner in the subway to whom you gave way. The author of the news column that you read in the morning. Any stranger. Also wish him everything that you have wished for other people.
6. Imagine the person with whom you have complicated relationship whom you dislike and who may dislike you. This, in my opinion, is the most difficult, while the most important stage practice. After all, we are accustomed to not love and condemn those we do not like. And to wish them happiness means to begin to break the habit of hating that has been forming for many years. Therefore, take this step Special attention... Wish your “enemy” happiness, health and freedom from suffering. Try not to do this automatically. Concentrate. Let go of gloating and try to wish happiness with all your heart. In fact, all evil, harmful, greedy, envious, proud people themselves suffer from their vices, so they deserve the wishes of love. One person wrote to me recently: “There are no bad people. There are only good and unfortunate ones. "... Remember this and treat "bad" people with understanding!
7. Now wish happiness to all these people together.
8. Wish happiness to all living beings, let them be in harmony and love!
9. At the end of the practice, remain with your breathing a little more. Observe the sensations that have arisen (even if there are no sensations). And then you calmly open your eyes, stretch sweetly, stretch your neck and get out of meditation.

Even if there is no sensation, just focus on your breathing for a few seconds. Feelings like love, compassion may or may not appear. Don't worry, you're doing it right. Try to think less about whether you are doing everything right. Just be here and now with what is. Be emotionless and even negative, irritated and angry. If any arise, do not berate yourself! After all, you decided to exercise patience and cultivate love for yourself! Therefore, try to treat everything that appears inside with love and patience, even to your anger, no matter how stupid and inappropriate it may seem. Get rid of any expectations, of any "meditation should ..." Meditation should not do anything! Everything appears by itself when the time comes.

Second option

My version is based on the "canonical version", so here I will limit myself to listing only the differences, so as not to repeat the content of the previous paragraph.

Availability of individual wishes

I still don't really like pre-prepared affirmations. They, in my opinion, are similar to the duty birthday greetings: "happiness, health." They are formulaic, learned, and therefore may not elicit the desired compassionate response in you. (By the way, in my article "Why Happy Birthday" I wrote that the social ritual of congratulations is the same Metta meditation that people practice unconsciously. Therefore, this ritual should not be neglected, as it has the same advantages).

I try to wish people and myself something that these specific people really need. If I imagine a person who has problems in relationships and, moreover, I understand what these problems are connected with, then I can wish him, for example, the following: “Let you find an understanding, sensitive and kind partner. Let him take care of you and give you support. I wish you yourself to get rid of your fears and complexes, because you will not achieve harmony in relationships until you find harmony in yourself. I wish you love and happiness! "

Of course, if I do not know what worries a person, I can simply wish him "love and happiness." But to those people I know, I try to give more individual wishes.

It turns out that my practice is more intellectual than the first option (in the sense that it involves a little memory and intelligence). But in moderation! Meditation shouldn't be too intellectual! Therefore, if you feel that it is difficult for you to decide what torments a particular person and what you can wish him, with a calm heart, wish him happiness and love! This is what all people need!

Relevance of the wishes of the current life situation

As I wrote, I practice metta meditation immediately following meditation with concentration on the breath. For 25 minutes I concentrate on attention and on everything that happens inside and outside (this is my new technique, I will describe it in the following articles). And then I practice Metta for 5 minutes. During breath meditation, I can have different thoughts, emotions, and judgments about people. For example, I will remember some person unpleasant to me, I will catch myself thinking badly of him. Then I turn my attention to the breath and promise myself to wish this person happiness and good during Metta meditation.

That is, I choose objects for loving-kindness meditation in accordance with the experiences that are occupying me now. (Although, it cannot be said that choosing those people for whom you will wish well in another way, you are making a completely arbitrary and random choice. Surely you will first of all remember those people who leave the deepest emotional mark on your soul).

Or you can think back to the coming conflicts. If there has been any friction with your wife or husband and you feel that you are offended, then be sure to wish that person well during your loving-kindness meditation. In general, try to work with what bothers you.

You can also choose those people with whom you will meet on this day: your colleagues, friends or relatives. Before the meeting, it is very good to dispose yourself to this person, and then he himself will definitely be disposed towards you.

The differences end there, but there will be more general recommendations.

Use your wisdom

This can be tricky. But if you make individual wishes, then it would be great if you took into account not only what the person wants, but also what he really needs. For example, you have a friend who sits at work all day, being in constant stress and discontent, forgetting about family life because he wants money, money and money! It would be wrong to wish him only what he wants, because what he really needs is not money, but something else. He needs to stop killing his health, ignore his family members and burn out at work. If he does not stop doing this, then no amount of money will bring him happiness! Therefore, desire what he needs. Rely on your wisdom and intuition. Use metta meditation also as a way to develop wisdom and understanding of people.

Desires don't have to be selfish

You should not wish other people what you want from them or what you would like them to become. Such selfish desires include the following words: "I wish my husband to become more generous and give me more gifts" or "I wish my wife to learn how to cook borscht better."

The task of meditation is to put oneself in the place of another person and try to understand what he wants, what he lacks for happiness, and wish him the accomplishment of these things. After all, you are training the ability to look at the world from the perspective of other people, and not from the limited and narrow perspective of your desires. And when you succeed, you are liberated!

Therefore, watch the purity and disinterestedness of your desires! But don't take this principle to the extreme either. For example, learning to control his anger will make your husband happy, not only him, but you as well. And this does not mean at all that he does not need to wish it.

Also try to make sure that your wishes for yourself are also not selfish. I know it sounds strange, but let's explain. Let your wishes include what you can do for other people. For example, I constantly wish for myself:

• “I wish myself to learn to be more restrained and patient in responding to comments on my site, to focus on helping people, not educating them.”
• "I wish myself to serve as a support and support for people who suffer and suffer."

But here, too, one should not go too far. Still, leave room for your loved one. It is important here, as elsewhere, to maintain balance, so, again, rely on your wisdom.

Maintain structure

In my practice, I do not always follow the structure from the first variant of meditation (you yourself, then your friend, then the neutral person, etc.). Sometimes, in 5 minutes of practice, I can wish happiness only to one specific person (as I do, for example, before a personal consultation or just before a friendly meeting) or only a few people with whom I have a difficult relationship. In general, how it goes.

But despite this, I try to maintain sometimes the indicated structure, as I find it very successful. Why? Because she develops compassion in many aspects, including those in which she is most underdeveloped.

It is easy for many of us to wish happiness for ourselves, our loved ones and friends (although, of course, not for everyone). But it is much more difficult to show love for a stranger or a faceless crowd. This is confirmed by the plots of many disaster films: the action in them is concentrated, as a rule, on one person or an ordinary small family, which saves itself in the face of a global catastrophe that engulfed all of humanity. It is easy to sympathize with a few - it is difficult to sympathize with millions!

Therefore, it is very important to unleash your potential for compassion towards all people, including strangers and enemies, and not just those to whom we become attached!

A few words in the end

Personally, I believe that the best results will be if you practice both concentration on the breath and loving-kindness meditation. They complement each other very well. You still need your running shoes and some more specialized footwear.

But if you find it difficult to devote time to both practices, then you can choose one that suits you best. If you feel overwhelmed with hatred or indifference, it is better to practice Metta. Or it may be very difficult for you to work with breathing right now. But we must not forget that the "main" meditation with breathing also touches on the aspect of the formation of love, but beyond it there is much more.

But I must warn you that the priority of one practice over another, indicated here, stems only from my opinion and my personal practice. Think for yourself =) Perhaps Metta will become your main technique, which will give you amazing results!

I wish you all to get rid of the problems that worry you. Get rid of fear, anxiety, despondency.
I wish you to open up to meet people, to feel like an integral part of a single whole, and not separate and detached from the whole world "I"!
I wish you to live in harmony with yourself and your loved ones.
I wish to discover my true purpose, and not to chase illusions and other people's ideals.
I wish you to stop looking for the truth only in books and in other people, but to find it in yourself!
I want you to be happy and discover love in yourself!

The Buddha's teachings are suitable for people seeking peace and happiness, regardless of their religion. With this universal tradition, you can practice loving-kindness meditation (Metta in Pali language) and become a true blessing to the entire world.

Loving-kindness is the first of the four sublime attitudes. The other three are compassion, compassion, and serene observation. These meditation practices can be practiced without restriction in our Everyday life... For example, loving-kindness can be directed towards yourself, your family members, your friends and colleagues. It can also be directed at all living beings on earth and beyond. Whenever you direct loving-kindness to whoever you are, you can bring them healing, tranquility, and happiness.

Loving-kindness raises these affectionate blessings equally to the pleasant and the unpleasant, to the rich and the poor, to the evil and the virtuous, to women and men, as well as to people and not. human beings... These meditation instructions are easy to follow and can be followed by anyone who wishes to achieve more peace and joy than ever before. We are all looking for different ways to find happiness. This is a direct path to true happiness that goes far beyond the mundane materialistic kinds of happiness.

Several years ago in Malaysia I met the Venerable Vimalaramsi and was so impressed with his style of teaching meditation that I invited this smiling monk to teach meditation at the Washington Buddhist Vihara. He is not just another run-of-the-mill meditation teacher following the popular and modified meditation guidelines found in some of the Buddhist commentaries. This teacher always uses and refers to the suttas, as recommended by the Lord Buddha in his teachings collected in the Pali Canon.

I see him as a serious follower of the Kalama Sutta. This means that we are not guided by anything without proper research. He continually tests and practices to see if the teachings are in harmony with the spirit and teachings of the suttas given by the Lord Buddha.

Venerable M. Dhammasiri

President of the Washington Buddhist Vihara

about the author

Bhante Vimalaramsi became a Buddhist monk in 1968 due to his great interest in meditation. In 1988 he went to Burma for intensive practice at the renowned Mahasi Yitaa meditation center in Rangoon. There, for almost a year, he practiced meditation for 20-22 hours a day. Then, due to public unrest, all foreigners were asked to leave the country. So Bhante went to Malaysia and practiced Loving-Kindness meditation intensively for 6 months.

In 1990, Bhante returned to Burma to practice Vipassana deeper, 16 hours a day, at Chanmyai Yitaa in Rangoon. So he practiced for two years, sometimes the time of sitting in meditation reached 7-8 hours. After two years of intense practice and experiencing the end result (as he was then told there), he became very disillusioned with the Vipassana method and left Burma to finish his quest.

He returned to Malaysia and began teaching loving-kindness meditation. In 1996, Bhante was invited to live and teach at the largest Theravada monastery in Malaysia. This monastery in Sri Lanka offered public lectures to all comers every Friday evening and Saturday morning, wherever it happened, 300-500 people gathered. Bhante gave teachings every Saturday and every other Friday.

During his stay here, he had the opportunity to meet with learned monks, and Bhante asked them in detail about the Teachings of the Buddha. He learned that the Vipassana method was taken from a commentary written a thousand years after the death of Buddha. This comment is not entirely correct when compared with the original teachings. Then Bhante Vimalaramsi began to study the original texts and practice meditation in accordance with them. After a personal three-month retreat, he returned to Malaysia where he wrote a book on mindfulness meditation called Anapanasati Sutta - A Practical Guide to Mindfulness of Breathing and Meditation of Serene Wisdom ("The Anapanasati Sutta - A Practical Guide to Mindfulness of Breathing and Tranquil Wisdom Meditation"). To date, over 1,000,000 copies of this book have been distributed throughout the world. This book is now used as practical guide for meditation teachers and their students.

Bhante Vimalaramsi returned to the United States in 1998 and from that time began teaching meditation throughout the country. He currently teaches at the Dhamma Sukha Meditation Center near Annapolis, Missouri.

Introduction

Bhante Vimalaramsi gave these instructions on July 3, 2000 at the Washington Buddhist Vihara in Washington DC. They simultaneously include the practice of "Serene Meditation" as well as the practice of the "Four Foundations of Mindfulness." These instructions may differ slightly from the ones you have used, because Bhante is very closely guided by the suttas — the discourses of the Lord Buddha. If you practice in this way, the end results can be of great benefit to you and to all the people around you. This, in turn, will bring true happiness into your daily life.

When practicing loving-kindness meditation, start by sending loving and kind thoughts to yourself. First, remember a time when you were happy. The moment the feeling of happiness arises, you can recognize it as a pleasantly warm, ardent or radiant feeling in the center of your chest. And when this feeling has appeared, sincerely wish yourself happiness and feel your wish. "May I be happy" ... "May joy fill me" ... "May I be calm and peaceful" ... "May I be cheerful and kind," etc. Wish yourself sincerely, something good at your discretion, feel this desire in your heart, and then begin to direct, radiate it. The key word here is "sincerely"; if your wish is not sincere, then it will turn into a kind of mantra, become a phrase memorized by heart, without real meaning. Then you will just superficially repeat this phrase, while your thoughts will be about something completely different. So, it is very important that your wish for yourself (and in the future for your spiritual friend) has a real meaning for you and completely occupies all your attention, then feel your wish, place it in your heart and start directing, emitting it. There is no need to endlessly repeat the wish for happiness: "May I be happy ... may I be happy ... may I be happy ... may I be happy." When the feeling of loving-kindness subsides a little, wish yourself happiness and feel that wish.

After each wish for happiness for yourself, notice that there is a slight tension or tightness in your head and mind. Let him go. Do this by completely relaxing your mind. Feel the mind expanding and calming down, but do it only once.

Don't worry if the tension doesn't go away: you can release it as you focus on the meditation subject (your support).

It is not necessary to try all the time to relax the mind without returning to the support; always gently return your serene attention to the radiation of happiness.

When you are sitting in meditation, please do not move. Sit with a fairly straight, but not stiff back. Try to keep the vertebrae conveniently located one above the other. This lifts your ribcage slightly, making it easier to radiate feelings of love and goodwill.

Your feet should be in a comfortable position. If you cross them too tightly, then the blood circulation in them may stop, then your legs may become numb, which is very unpleasant. If you need a pillow or even a chair to sit, that's fine. But if you are sitting on a chair, then please do not lean on the back. Leaning back stops the flow of energy in the back and can cause drowsiness. Just sit comfortably.

Please do not move at all while sitting. Don't wiggle your toes; do not move your fingers; do not scratch yourself; do not rub; do not wiggle; do not change your posture. If you sit as still as a Buddha statue, then this will be the best option! If you move, it becomes a strong distraction from your practice, and the progress does not start soon.

As you sit, radiating a warm, fervent feeling of loving-kindness in the center of your chest, making and feeling a sincere wish, feeling it in your heart, your mind may wander and think about other things. This is fine.

Thoughts are not your enemies! So please don't fight them or try to push them away. When a series of thoughts appears and takes hold of you, notice that you are not feeling loving-kindness and fulfill your wish for your own happiness. Then just let go of the thought. Even if you are in the middle of a sentence, just let go of the thought and let it be there on its own. This will happen if you stop pondering the thought, and it doesn't matter how important it seems to you at the moment.

There is another very important step here:

Note the voltage: Notice the tension in your head / mind and then relax. Feel how it unfolds. The mind feels like it expands and relaxes. Then he becomes very calm and peaceful. At this time, no thoughts appear, the mind is extremely pure and alert. Immediately return such a mind to the object of your meditation, namely to the feeling of loving-kindness, fulfill and feel the wish for your own happiness.

It doesn't matter how many times your mind gets distracted and thinks about other things. The only thing that really matters is that you notice how he has become distracted by a thought. This is also true of any sensation or emotional feeling that draws your attention; notice a movement of attention or a distraction from loving-kindness and let it go. Then relax the tension in your head / mind and gently bring your calm attention back to the meditation object.

Increased awareness: Every time you let go of a distraction or fulfill a wish for your own happiness, relax the tension caused by the movement of your mind’s attention, and bring your calm attention back to the feeling of happiness, you increase your awareness (power of observation). So please do not criticize yourself because you think you “should” have done better, or that your thoughts, feelings, and emotional feelings are enemies to be crushed and destroyed.

These kinds of critical and callous thoughts and feelings are based on disgust, and disgust is the opposite of Loving Acceptance. Loving-kindness and loving acceptance are different words that are essentially talking about the same thing. So please be kind to yourself. Let this be a kind of entertaining game for you, and not a battle with the enemy.

The importance of relaxing the tension after every thought, sensation or emotional feeling cannot be overstated. When you let go of this tension, you let go of craving, craving. It is very important to understand this because craving is the cause of all suffering. This tension is where there is a false idea of ​​self-identification.

Craving and misconception about the personal "I" ("I", "me", "mine") always manifests itself as a tightness or tension in the head / mind. When you let go of tension, you let go of craving and misconceptions about a personal self or “self-identification” with all thoughts, sensations and emotional feelings, opinions, concepts, and the like that arise. This is how you can clear your mind and become happier and more joyful forever!

While you are sitting quietly, various sensations may arise in your body. You may feel itching, fever, tension, sore throat, sneezing, or pain. Please don't move your body at all. When such sensations arise, your mind is immediately directed towards them, for example, an itch or a cough. You are not directing the mind; it happens by itself. The first thing the mind does is think about this feeling: "I want it to go away." ... "I want this to stop bothering me." ... "I hate this feeling." ... " Why doesn't it just go away? "..." I want to stop this. "

Every time you ponder these kinds of thoughts, the feeling gets bigger and stronger. It turns into an emergency. Then you can no longer tolerate it and move. But the directions are: don't move for any reason. Instead, observe the shifting of the mind's attention.

So what can we do? We need to open up and allow the feeling to be there:

Open up: First, notice that your mind’s attention has shifted to itching or coughing, etc., notice the thoughts about this sensation. Now let go of those thoughts, just let them be. Next, notice the tension in the head / mind and relax it. Every time a sensation (or emotional feeling) arises, it is natural for the mind to clench a tight fist around it; this dense mental is disgust. So open up and let the itch (or emotional feeling) be present. Remember, it's okay if the tension doesn't go away right away.

The "truth (Dhamma) of the present moment" is that when an itch or any other sensation appears, it is there. And how you deal with this Dhamma means whether you will experience unnecessary suffering or not. Resisting the itch or thinking about how to get rid of it will increase both subtle and gross suffering.

We have five different things that make up the mental and bodily processes, they are called the five aggregates. Here they are:

Physical body

Perception

Thought (volitional constructions)

Consciousness

As you can see, feelings are one thing, and thoughts (volitional structures) are another. If you try to control feelings along with thoughts, then the resistance that appears to this feeling makes it larger and more intense. In fact, it becomes so big that it turns into an emergency (real disaster - "dukkha"), and you can no longer bear this sensation (or emotional feeling). Then you have to move. If during sitting meditation, you move your body a little, it will destroy the continuity of the practice and you have to start over.

Letting go of thoughts of a sensation (or emotional feeling) means that you are letting go of the urge to control that feeling and your thoughts. It also means that you are letting go of craving, which directly leads to the cessation of suffering.

You then notice a tight mental fist around the sensation and let go of disgust for it. Just let the itch or cough (sensation or emotional feeling) be there on its own. See them as a bubble floating in air, the bubble floating freely. Wherever the wind blows, the bubble will follow in that direction. If the wind changes and blows in the other direction, then the bubble will float in that direction with absolutely no resistance.

This practice teaches how to lovingly accept whatever appears in the present moment. Now again notice the subtle tension in your head / mind, relax and gently direct your calm loving attention back to the feeling of love radiating from your heart and the feeling of wanting happiness for yourself.

The true nature of these types of sensations (and emotional feelings) is that they don't go away right away. So your can bounce from the subject of meditation back to that sensation or feeling. (The subject of meditation is the emission of a feeling of love, and then the formulation of a sincere wish for one's own happiness, and the feeling of this wish). Whenever this happens, use the six "R" s, here they are:

* Recognize - * Release - * Relax - * Re-smile - * Return - * Repeat

6 "R" is a way to remember this practice:

Realize: Be alert and aware of what is emerging in the present moment.

Let go: Let go of any thoughts, feelings or emotional feelings. Remember that it is okay for a thought, sensation, or emotional feeling to be present, because this is the truth of the present moment. Let the thought, sensation, or emotional feeling be, do not try to make it something else that it is not.

Relax: Relax the tension, open the tight mental fist around the feeling, let it be. Calm your body and mind.

Smile again: Remember that this is a smiling meditation and it will be beneficial to smile as often as possible.

Return: Come back to your meditation object, gently returning your calm attention back to the direction of the feeling of love, then fulfill the sincere wish for your own happiness and feel that wish in your heart.

Repeat: Continue your meditation on the direction of loving-kindness by fulfilling and feeling the wish and visualizing your spiritual friend.

After you have directed loving and kind thoughts to yourself for about ten minutes, start sending loving and kind thoughts to your "spirit friend." A “spiritual friend” is one whose thoughts about whom, and about his merits, please you. This is a friend who is the same sex as you, he must be alive and not a member of your family. These are the initial restrictions, later you can send loving-kindness to all your family members, but at this training stage, please choose a different friend.

Once you have begun channeling loving-kindness to your spiritual friend, please do not switch to someone else. Engage in your spiritual friend until you reach the third meditation stage (jhana). So, sending a sincere wish for your own happiness, start mentally reciting: “Just as I wish the feeling of peace and tranquility (happiness, joy, etc.) for myself, I wish this feeling for you too. May you live well, happily and peacefully. " Then start channeling that feeling of love and peace to your friend. It is very important to feel a sincere desire and place this feeling in your heart.

Also, visualize your friend in your mind. For example, you can visualize your friend as if you are seeing a photo of him, or you can imagine him moving like in a movie. For some people, visualization can be quite difficult because they do not understand that it is possible to visualize with words as well as with pictures in their mind. It's okay to say your friend's name and use a variety of words to help you see him in your mind. The rendering accuracy does not matter. But when you introduce your friend, make him (or she) smile and feel happy. This will help you remember that you yourself need to smile and be happy!

It can be difficult to visualize. The image may be hazy, unclear, distant, or it may appear for just a moment and then disappear. This is fine. Don't push yourself too hard, as pushing too hard can lead to headaches. About 70% of your attention should be spent on feeling loving-kindness, 20% (approximately, depending on the circumstances) on fulfilling a sincere wish and feeling this feeling in your heart - this helps to grow a sense of happiness for your friends. And only about 10% of your time should be spent visualizing a friend. As you can see, “feeling loving-kindness” is by far the more important part of meditation, while visualization is the less important part. But still, put some effort into visualization. It will get better and easier over time.

This is meditation with a smile. As you sit and radiate love to your spiritual friend (or yourself), smile in your mind. Even if your eyes are closed during meditation, smile with your eyes. This will help release tension from your face. Let there be a small smile on your lips, let a smile be in your heart. Smiling is pleasant and always very helpful for practice, especially when you are sitting in meditation. The more we learn to smile, the happier the mind becomes.

Surprisingly, scientists have found that the corners of the mouth play important role; the position of our lips corresponds to various mental states. When the corners of the lips drop down, thoughts tend to become heavy and unhealthy. When the corners of the lips are lifted, the mind becomes happier and clearer, so that joy can arise more often.

This is important to remember because smiling can help change the way you think about all kinds of feelings and thoughts. So try not to forget to smile at whatever appears, whatever you direct your mind's attention to. In other words, smile at everything as often as you can.

The more sincere and enthusiastic you are in directing loving-kindness to yourself and your spiritual friend, the less you will feel sleepy or lethargic. When drowsiness or lethargy appears, your body may slouch. This is the only time you can move your body and straighten up. But don't do it too often anyway.

If you notice that your mindstarts to get sluggish, show more interest in your friend; imagine him (or she) doing things that you truly value. For example, you can visualize times when he was helpful and generous, or times when he made you happy and you smiled with them. This will help increase your interest and energize, and lethargy will subside.

Please, when you start this meditation, begin sitting for forty-five minutes. For the first ten minutes, channel loving-kindness into yourself. Spend the rest of the time channeling love to your spiritual friend (remember, only one friend the whole time you are studying). When your meditation is better and you feel more comfortable, you can start sitting for longer (whichever period of time is right for you). But first, sit for at least forty-five minutes a day! You can sit for longer if you have time.

This is not just passive meditation, practiced only while you are sitting in a chair or pillow. This meditation needs to be practiced all the time, especially when you go about your daily activities. So often we walk in a mental fog of "random trivial thoughts." Why not try to practice loving-kindness meditation whenever we can remember it? When you walk from your house to your car, or from your car to work, what is your mind busy with? Probably even more trifling thoughts.

This is the time to notice what your mind is doing at the moment and let go of those distracting thoughts. Relax the tension in your head / mind and wish someone happiness! It doesn't matter to whom you send loving thoughts and feelings as you go about your daily activities. It could be someone walking next to you, your spiritual friend, yourself, or all living beings. Keywords here - "direct love", smiling and feeling this sincere wish. Try to do this as often as possible throughout the day.

The more we focus on sending loving and kind thoughts, the more positively we influence the world... At the same time, the mind becomes more joyful and happier as a result. It's fine!

There are many benefits to practicing loving-kindness: you fall asleep easily and sleep soundly. When you wake up, you wake up quickly and easily. People like you. Your face becomes radiant and beautiful when you practice loving-kindness and your mind becomes clear much faster than when you practice other types of meditation. In fact, the Lord Buddha mentioned this type of meditation more often than "Mindfulness of Breath". So you can see how important he considered this practice.

The practice of loving-kindness meditation can lead you on the path to the experience of Nibbana if you develop all of the Brahma Viharas (exalted states of mind): that is, you practice loving-kindness, compassion, compassion, and serene observation. This is mentioned many times in the suttas, which are the original sayings of the Buddha. Other teachers will say many times that this practice alone will not lead the meditator directly to the experience of Nibbana. And indeed it is. But when If loving-kindness is practiced as part of the Brahma Vihar, then it is able to lead the meditator to the fourth jhana or meditative level of understanding. It is to this level that the Lord Buddha tried to bring all the disciples who practiced meditation. At the fourth meditative level, the meditator experiences deep states of serene observation and calmness.

According to the suttas, there are three different paths one can take after reaching this level. They can lead directly to the experience of Nibbana. We will not go into further details at this time because this can be confusing. But if you are interested in more information, then please start studying the suttas, for example,Maharahulovada Sutta , Majjhima Nikaya 62 in Teachings of Medium Length.Or you can check outChulahatthipadopama Sutta, Majjhima Nikaya 27 , in the same book. I sincerely hope that these meditations will benefit you !!!

I also hope that you will find the instructions here helpful, and that by practicing in this way, you will gain a lot and lead a truly happy and healthy life.

Now, as usual after every Dhamma giving, let us share the merits with those who listen or read, and do a good deed to clear our minds so that we may all be truly happy!

Let the suffering be free from suffering!

And those gripped by fear will become fearless!

Let the afflicted cast aside all sorrow!

And may all living thingsfind solace!

May all sentient beings share this merit,

which we have found in this way

for gaining all kinds of happiness.

May the living creatures inhabitingspace and earth,

Devas and Nagas, endowed with mighty powers,

Share our merit.

May they defend the Teachings of the Buddha for a long time.

Sadhu ... Sadhu ... Sadhu ...

Once you have found a quiet and peaceful place to meditate, the first thing you need to do is choose a posture. The various positions are discussed in more detail on the Do Nurturing Meditation page to help you right choice... Loving-kindness can be practiced in any position: reclining, sitting, standing and walking, although most often the sitting position is chosen. This position is easier to perform, and therefore works for you, you can sit on a chair or pillow, although walking back and forth is more stimulating, since you need to remain attentive while moving and at the same time, practice meditation.

Sit back and close your eyes. Spend a few minutes relaxing any tight muscles, as tension can distract your attention and be an obstacle to loving-kindness. Let go of distractions and thoughts of today... Be kind to yourself in this way, it can prepare the mind for relaxation and openness. It is very difficult to practice this kind of meditation when the mind or body is tired. You can do light stretching while looking out at a tranquil landscape such as a garden, enjoying the peace and quiet of a room, or choosing another way to unwind. In reality, this method is flexible enough that you can choose words that are important to yourself, and in fact the results will be better if they are not general, but meaningful to your mind. We suggest saying the following:

1. First, wish yourself happiness, good health, success, harmony, the ability to understand stress and release it, and the strength to overcome challenges. Perhaps you will think to yourself: “May I be happy, may I be free from diseases and injuries ...” and so on.
2. Wish yourself freedom from stress, anger, greed, ill will, and envy. "I exercise to get rid of stress, I exercise to get rid of anger ..." and others.
3. Wish yourself joy, balance, compassion and kindness: “I will appreciate what I have experienced. I will be kind to myself, I will let go of my regrets ”and so on.
4. Also wish yourself good development on the path of life: “May I become wiser and acquire additional skills, I will more often be kinder to myself, I will be more patient and less reckless when I’m busy,” etc.

Think a little about the reason for wanting happiness in the first place for yourself. Many people find it difficult to do this. In some cases it is better to start practicing with others, but there are times when the person doing the meditation still feels some resentment towards himself. Like a flower, sometimes you have to open up, or let your heart open up to see what's inside.

• If you cannot be kind to yourself, you are more or less creating another problem for yourself, while loving-kindness works both ways. If we cannot be kind to ourselves, how can we be sincere about others?
• It is also very similar to a candle flame, if you cut off the air or fuel, it will simply disappear. Being kind to yourself gives you the opportunity to continue your meditation without feeling stingy, as it acts as fuel. If it is one-sided, then you might end up feeling that the love you have for others is not genuine, because you cannot give it everywhere without conditions. It also serves to calm the mind and give loving-kindness to others more generously.

Next, wish the same to those closest to your people, your family, your mentors, friends, and those you admire. You can think about each person separately, or, if it's easier, all at once. Wish them happiness and all of the above. The people you are directing loving-kindness to must be alive. Otherwise, thinking about the dead can cause unnecessary problems in your memory. Just as you were directing thoughts to yourself, continue to experience the same feelings for others.

1. “May my loved ones be happy. May my relatives have good health, they will not be susceptible to illness and injury ... "and so on.
2. "May the people I studied with be happy, may they have good health ..." and so on.
3. "May my friends be happy ..." and so on.

Having mentioned everyone, check your posture again and relax any tense muscles. Control the position of your body between each group and continue to practice being kind to yourself. If distracting or disturbing thoughts arise, take time to ponder their benefits, if any, and to notice any possible stressful or unwanted characteristics. This way you can learn to recognize them in the future. Let go of these reflections and, if necessary, return to focusing on the wish: "May I live in peace ... I want to let go of grievances."

Next, go to people you know but don't consider to be close friends or members of a previous group. This could be your neighbors, your local grocer, doctor, colleagues, clients or suppliers at your work, and more. Wish them the same happiness that you wished for yourself.

• Use every opportunity to release the tension that arises in both the body and the mind, understand that the heart will harden if you think about who you do not like, so that you can directly address the issue.

Next, wish the outsiders and people you don't know the same happiness that you wished for the above groups. You don't need to know them, or know where they are, just wish everyone happiness. The goal of this group is to be worldwide. You may never know who the people you walk by on the street or see in stores are, but if you remember them, they are perfect to send a sense of goodwill towards them. Practicing metta breaks many boundaries in the mind so that we can be more humane.

1. Let's move on to the next group, which is sometimes the most difficult - people you don't like. These can be those who were cruel to you, or those who you are offended by. It's hard, but it breaks down the walls of hatred, rejection and prejudice.

   • If you try and cannot think about a certain person(it could even be yourself), then go back and engage in compassion, wishing yourself forgiveness, kindness, etc., because you really tried, and this is the most important thing. You can always wish: “I want to let go of this resentment, may I be free from this anger,” or whatever is important to you.
   • Exercise with caution to overcome any personal bias or malicious intent that may arise that will not benefit you or those around you. You can counter hostility with goodwill, so that you can let go of the first feeling as soon as it arises, or you can use it as a basis for understanding by exploring how it can overcome goodwill or even penetrate feelings that may appear to be goodwill.
2. While this may sound unrealistic in a ruthless world, when combined with common sense and understanding, metta is a very powerful and useful tool.
   • It is very important to use wisdom in metta, both in development and in expression, as there are aspects where it can make life more difficult. If you are one-sided in your practice, it will be superficial, but on the contrary, if you open your heart too much, you may end up feeling like a squeezed rag or exhausted. Metta should work both ways and in a balanced way.
   • In all our relationships, such as in our relationships with ourselves, with our family, friends, acquaintances, work colleagues and with our loved ones, metta can help to gain more patience and understanding in interactions, as well as understand how to live better.

Greetings to all! Today I am going to teach you loving-kindness meditation, which will unlock the potential in you to show love, compassion, kind-heartedness, and empathy. You can direct these qualities not only to other people, but also to yourself.

Through practice, you will learn to love yourself and be sensitive to your own shortcomings.

Loving Kindness Meditation (Metta Meditation)
For a long time I did not use any meditation technique except one: concentration on the breath, believing that ...

Walking meditation can be a great addition to the basic technique. For beginners, it will be a good and fairly simple start, if only because it does not get sleepy during it. In this article we will look at six types of this interesting meditation.

Walking meditation is not just a walk in the park. It is several times slower and more solid, and includes either coordination with the breath or specific types of focusing.

Unlike sitting meditation, you have open ...

Osho meditation- this is an opportunity to receive a huge energy supply, to remove negativity from oneself through self-knowledge, through a surge of energy that blocks our chakras. It's no secret that meditations appeared in ancient india and were so much more than just a way to relax.

Meditative techniques have helped and are helping people to connect with the universal flows of energy, to feel that great Good and Warmth, which gives us the opportunity to feel all the joy of Life in full ...

Meditation - The best way get rid of negative emotions and restore your energy. To benefit, you need to meditate correctly. Beginner tips will help you master this practice.

Learning to self-control and manage your thoughts and emotions is not that difficult, and the most powerful tool for this is meditation. O useful properties meditation practices was known back in the days of giving, but people still use them to improve internal energy, getting rid of ...

Meditation offers an alternative to the purely materialistic values ​​of life. It is a means of harmonizing, or resolving a clear conflict, between the spiritual and material aspects of life. Meditation is not a departure from reality, but a path to discovering the true "I", Spiritual essence, Soul.

Its main purpose is to allow the individual to become in outer manifestation what he or she is in inner reality. On the path of becoming, it leads to the disclosure of the spiritual ability to be, to know ...

Interest in meditation in recent times only gets stronger. And if earlier many people perceived it as a newfangled trend, now it has finally become clear (thanks to scientists as well) that it has enormous advantages. However, there are those who find the very thought of meditation intolerable. She evokes a dream, seems boring. In addition, there is a misconception that for correct practice you need to sit in the lotus position and stop thinking. All this is not so, meditation can be different, as well as ...

Meditation. What is this?
Review of the previous issue of "HUMILITY":
Hello Sergey !!! I read the issue of the mailing list about Humility and there was a desire to write to you.

Regarding Humility, when I realized it, for me it was a Big Step Forward.

And your release in confirmation of my condition. Life always teaches us. And I was not surprised to accept Larisa's letter about the fact that She Realizes it too !!! Everyone knows this, but only those who want to open it in themselves will Know it !!!

Thank you and your Colleagues for ...

Seeing-as-is meditation paves the way for discerning wisdom that

Frees the mind from the bondage of samsara. This slavery often baffles the thinker because there are "traps" in the tools that need to end it. Perceived objects are subtlely illusory, and concepts are covertly deceiving. Therefore, the as-is-seeker needs to forge his own tools to break these fetters by following the Buddha's “middle path”.

This lecture based on ...

Why do we need meditation? Become kinder, accept yourself and others. Become faster, smarter, stronger. Find meaning in life. Experience higher states of consciousness. Eliminate suffering from life / bring happiness into life. Find out how deep this rabbit hole is. And so on ...

How does it usually start? Because we are not satisfied with something. We have a desire to get something or want to eliminate something. For example, we want to become better or fix some shortcomings. Further, together with the understanding that we feel dissatisfaction and suffer in life, we begin to look for the reasons for not-happiness. First, we look outside, in other people, in the boss, in the parents, in our soul mate, in the president or in the circumstances. Over time, we begin to guess that, perhaps, everything that happens to us is somehow connected with ourselves, our ability to possess ourselves, to control our attention and emotions. What does consciousness look like without meditation practice?

1. Thoughts. An endless stream of thoughts leading our attention to the future into the past or thinking about ourselves. This flow is very difficult to control without training attention. Imagine a situation: summer, sun, deep blue sky, we are sitting on wooden walkways on a river or lake, feet touch the cool water, a pleasant warm breeze is blowing…. We came here to enjoy nature, but the worries of life, work and other thoughts capture our attention and do not allow us to be with ourselves and the present moment. Everybody knows internal dialogue... Are we saying this ourselves? Why can't we say to ourselves: "Voice, stop! I want to rest, be quiet for 10 minutes."
2. Control... The nature of our mind is to protect us and strive to control everything. And above all, to control ourselves and people close to us. But can we control our mind? Our consciousness does not see what is happening in the unconscious area. How can we control what we are not even aware of? Why is it so hard to instill a habit? For example, start meditating, start running, do yoga in the morning, quit smoking, or start another good habit? Why is it so hard to just say to yourself: “That's it! From this moment I start to do this and that and after that do it? "
3. Relationships, emotions, resentment... The world around is as it is. We are constantly faced with behavior and behavior of people that differ from our expectations. Someone said a harsh word, stepped on his foot, “cut off” on the road, deceived, betrayed, etc. How do we respond in response? Can we manage our emotions? How do we react after a while when we remember this event? The offender is no longer there, the situation is in the past, we have already suffered damage, but we often continue to experience negative emotions. And why do we need it?
4. Energy. An uncontrollable stream of thoughts, excessive control, unbridled emotions - all this leads to a significant loss of our precious energy and distraction from the moment "now" and our affairs.

Why is this happening, why is it so difficult to manage these processes? The wonderful science of neurophysiology comes to the rescue. Neurophysiologists have come to the conclusion that we see, hear, feel, feel, smell with a delay of 0.5 seconds. That is, even before we begin to be aware of something, our brain already knows about it, it has time to start internal processes and even create thoughts. Most of our thoughts are created by our brain, and we are simply drawn into this endless stream.
“Our” thoughts appear when we control this flow and know how to stop it.

Even more surprising research data suggests that no patterns of emotion or feeling exist. There are no such patterns in DNA or elsewhere. Our states are created by our mind from what is in it, from what we have been thinking about recently, what we have encountered, how we reacted. How it happens: the mind "looks" what is happening around, "looks" into the memory and introduces us through the hormonal system into some state, anger, anxiety, joy and others.

Our consciousness is the operator of the mind, controlling it through attention. If we constantly think about problems, remember the offenders, or, what is the most "terrible" - reproach ourselves for something, we put into the mind the input data, which later become our states. Inside us lives the most perfect machine, which we do not even realize, often do not understand and cannot control it.

And the great news is that our states and emotions can be learned to manage through the training of attention and the practice of metta meditation. You can even get yourself out of deep depression. Through the practice of metta, we learn to create the most productive, creative, happy states possible.

What is meditation? Meditation is the conscious management of your attention. Mindfulness is the mindfulness of observing the movement of attention from object to object. That is, a constant reminder to yourself to observe, be aware of and control your attention. Through the management of attention, we gain the ability not to depend on thoughts, not to get involved in them, to “program” our states, cut off the sources of wasting energy and better “see” and understand our own mind. And the most important thing is to guide him wisely.

The formula has long been known: "Change yourself - the world around you will change" or in other words: through the development of awareness in the practice of meditation, we gain the key to a happy and conscious life!

Metta meditation... Metta meditation has passed the real test of time in the form of several thousand years and is one of the very first meditations. open by man... Metta is a very effective tool for opening your heart, developing goodwill and gaining control over your emotions and states. In this technique, we develop attention and concentration by observing the feeling of metta, a feeling of loving-kindness.

What else is metta good for? Meditation is also a habit, and there are so many interesting things around, so much more to do. To create a habit, it is important that we like the new action and there is no internal resistance. Metta meditation is pleasant and natural, and very quickly becomes a desirable habit. By practicing metta, we train our mind to respond positively to life's events. We begin to feel better and less and less emotional storms, fears and anxieties. Our state becomes optimally effective for life, for work, for relationships, for creativity and creation.

The practice of metta is also deep cleaning subconsciousness from childhood traumas, resentment, rejection of oneself and other people. Meditation in itself gives an excellent charge of positive and vigor for a long time. You can also practice mettu almost anywhere and in any quantity. Even short sessions of metta meditation of 10-15 minutes during the day make our life much easier and happier. And an in-depth practice of metta leads to the purification of the subconscious at all levels and a deep transformation of consciousness.