If you really miss a person. What does it mean to miss a person? what do you put in this phrase - I miss you

The absence of a close person, a loved one with whom you broke up, can give rise to the deepest feeling of loneliness. You begin to miss the person, all your thoughts are occupied by worries about this. How to overcome negative feelings and start living from scratch, letting go of the past and people from it?

How to survive a long separation from a person

The situation when kilometers separate you from your soulmate, friend, dear relative, is very common. There are cities or even countries between you, and in the meantime, feelings are torn out. What do you do if you really miss someone?

Do not despair! After all, there are many ways to say goodbye to sadness.

• Install Skype on your computer and communicate with a person regularly using this program. You can even arrange tea parties, feasts, parties in pajamas in this way.
• Exchange news with a person using messages, post interesting photos to social networks.
• Set the date for the next meeting and cross out the days on the calendar - then you will have the feeling that you are in control of the situation, you are waiting for a very specific event.
• Take a break from worries - this will help work, hobbies, friends.

How to Stop Missing Your Ex

Sometimes, even after a breakup, you can still love the person for a while. Feeling an acute lack of communication, missing the former, you literally do not know what to do, what to do. Namely, a passion for some business can distract you from painful attachment.

• Nothing helps to forget an ex-lover (beloved) better than a new relationship. So feel free to meet people, flirt, go on dates.
• If you don't have a hobby yet, it's time to get one.
• Give all your strength to work, especially if it is loved.
• Travel. Believe me, vivid emotions from visiting new places will quickly cover any negative. And the more you suffer from breaking up with your ex (ex), the more distant and exciting your route should be. Do not forget to take your best friends, beloved relatives on the road - communication with other people is very important for you now.

It will also be very effective to analyze the old love relationship for their shortcomings. Remember the bad things that happened - resentment, betrayal, pain. Pleasantly? Not? Then rejoice that you have said goodbye to the source of negative emotions!

How to cope with the death of a loved one

The bitterness of the loss of a loved one, a relative, a friend is always enormously difficult. But such emotions can destroy your life, turning it into a faceless black-and-gray line devoid of joy, colors, discoveries. After all, when you are bored, not only to do something, you don’t want to breathe.

Of course, it would be foolish to put the question in this case point-blank and advise you to forget a person close to you. However, it is in your power to change the direction of thoughts and find strength, motivation in order to continue living on.

• Think about the fact that a person who has passed away would not want to see you in such despondency. He would like you to continue to explore the world and enjoy it, fall in love, travel, create, develop. After all, in fact, now you are its continuation on earth.
• Remember that you have only one life (at least in this particular guise), and therefore it is priceless and you need to live it as brightly, richly, more joyfully as possible, because there will be no other chance.
• If you wish, you can turn to religion. For many, the belief that there is another life after death gives the feeling that the deceased person actually continues to be there. He looks from the sky, hears thoughts about himself, shares sorrows. And this means that you can always mentally communicate with your loved one.
• If you can’t manage to cope with destructive longing, then it may make sense to turn to a qualified psychologist.

Perhaps you will also find other tips from the article helpful.

Parting with a loved one is emotional pain, depression, tears, an attempt to forget. Time heals, but for some reason, when the first acute painful feelings pass, the memory remains for a long time.

Any activity evokes memories, as it was done when we were together. It often happens that there is already new friend who took a place in the shower, and sometimes in bed, but the problem of how to stop missing your loved one cannot be dealt with, especially if you have already managed to live together for some time. What to do in such a situation?

How to stop being bored

It is necessary that the fact of parting with this person be accepted at the level of the subcortex.

It is impossible to give unambiguous advice, but there are the following ways.

It is impossible to give unambiguous advice - absolutely opposite measures help some.

You can remember a common friend who sympathizes with a friend more than you, a woman left behind. You need to find her, and cry constantly, remembering everything happy moments, until the memories get boring or you don’t want to do something useful already.

If a girlfriend is interested, does not pull at all, continues to meet, you can suspect that you have to be bored because of her intrigues. Then a banal showdown will help to forget. You can drag other common acquaintances into squabbles, then they will surely pull up the former - it will be fun.

Lock yourself up at home and not let anyone in, constantly think about your loved one, sob, repeating his name. If you have to show yourself in public, start all things with the phrase: “ We with ... did it like this, but ... would do it like that! and sigh bitterly. If you manage to quickly bring yourself to depression, medical intervention will relieve boredom - antidepressants and sedatives.

For some, in order to get rid of boredom, you need to figure out why it appeared. Did that person take up so much space in life that without him there was nothing to do?

It is worth whipping yourself up, remembering that you are a person. strong man interesting and private. You can write down what they did together, why that person is missing specifically, analyze the circumstances. Having filled the void, it will be possible to return to an active life.

The fact that the soul is empty and there is nothing to do, you should only blame yourself. A person is born free, and builds his life according to his own taste, based on his own needs. You should not turn your own life into memories of the past, you need to remember what you did before he appeared in life.

Didn't you get bored then?

Sometimes you begin to understand that discomfort and boredom are caused by a change in lifestyle, and that person has nothing to do with it. They just developed new habits, akin to animal reflexes. In the evening, it is customary to go to a cafe, on Sundays - to discuss a movie watched together. It is worth taking empty evenings and finding a person with whom you can discuss what is happening in life and on the screen. Then there will be no trace of boredom.

If the boredom of a loved one is not caused by parting, but by his long absence, it is even easier to deal with it. Now there are enough means of communication to part only formally: the Internet, the telephone, the good old telegraph.

It is impossible to get a person out of your head in a short time, it is enough to reduce the number of memories of him to a minimum. Time and distance help to get rid of sorrowful and sad thoughts. Gotta try to get started new life, and gradually stop missing the former.

Hello, I am 21 years old and have been married for a year. My husband often travels to other countries for a long time at work, this was not a problem for us before, but in Lately I went crazy when he wasn't around. He was on a business trip for 20 days, during these 20 days I fell into a terrible depression. I almost didn’t leave the house, didn’t work, became sharply aggressive, constantly cried, I tried to occupy myself with something, but the work was not fun, I didn’t want to communicate with friends, at first I still went for a walk in the evenings and just walked around the city for a couple of hours , but then it became too lazy .. needless to say, she recovered greatly and practically did not follow her appearance.
Once he returned, everything was fine. I am happy, working again, smiling.
It’s also impossible, my husband will leave again and I will again be depressed!
How to deal with it? I understand that I need to be distracted somehow, but I don’t know how.
THANKS!

Hello Alexandra! this is not a matter of distraction, but of working out your personal boundaries, such a state of yours indicates the presence of emotional dependence. You have made your spouse the center of your world - when he is nearby, you live, he is not there - life stops! BUT - he is NOT the CENTER of YOUR world, it is important for you to find yourself, to close your boundaries, so that your spouse sees in you not a continuation of yourself, not a shadow of yourself, but YOU - who are you? what are YOU? what are your interests? goals? who do you communicate with? friends? See a psychologist and work on your boundaries. You can also Skype - if you decide - contact me - I will be glad to help you!

Shenderova Elena Sergeevna, psychologist Moscow

Hello Alexandra!

If you decide to do everything so that your husband leaves for another woman, then the behavior you have chosen is the best. True, it resembles a phrase from the book of Korney Chukovsky: from two to five, when little boy says: Well, grandmother, to spite you, I will frostbite my ears. It looks like you are jealous of him and it's scary to admit it to yourself.

I’ll tell you as a man, when a wife is combed, with makeup, takes care of herself externally (figure, clothes) and internally (informed about what is happening in the world), then her husband’s gaze will never go away. A man by nature is an owner and from the inside he is supported by the feeling: my woman is the most beautiful and smart among all. As if it is his merit in the beauty of his wife.

Sorokin Yuri Stepaovich, psychologist, Moscow

Alexandra,

and if you try to start thinking and move in the opposite direction. Do not try to distract yourself, stop thinking about your husband. On the contrary, think about how to feel your connection with him even at a distance. This can strengthen your relationship and fill it with new colors.

After all, relationships do not disappear when people leave. But relationships begin to melt when people lose touch with each other.

Waking up in the morning, first of all try to feel a connection with your husband, wherever he is and send him your love, smile. Ask him to talk about where he lives when he leaves. And imagine these places.

Tell each other on Skype or in letters how you spend your days.

Share your feelings, everything you can. Fill your daily life with joyful expectation of his arrival.

And prepare for each of his arrival a wonderful meeting.

Consider filling your married life romance of meetings and partings. To be for her husband is always desirable and new.

No, of course you can, if you want, continue to sit and sour. :)))).

All the best,

Sincerely

Alyokhina Elena Vasilievna, psychologist Moscow

It's a question of habit, a reflex, if you like. You have some kind of permanent occupation, and you give it all your time and energy. You can work all day, you can cook dinner, do laundry and ironing, or you can sit with a small child. All this is a certain activity: if it is repeated from day to day, you can get used to it very soon. But if you sharply engage in what you are already accustomed to devoting so much time to, it becomes completely incomprehensible where to use this most free time now. A person needs to do something, and if earlier he had a vacuum cleaner, a ladle or a computer at work, now there is none of this, and he feels an urgent need for all familiar objects to return to their places. It so often happens that women constantly complain about mountains of dishes, and when dishwasher, still continue to wash dishes with their hands - they just need to somehow occupy themselves, they miss their usual work.

So, we can say that any boredom or even longing for the company of a person is a kind of habit. You are used to having something, and when you don't have it, you begin to need it. It doesn't matter what in question- it is important that you need it and without what you want, you will experience some discomfort. It might sound a little selfish, but that's the way it is.

But what to do in order not to be bored? First, think about whether you really want this feeling. Missing your loved one is sometimes even nice, besides, if you just yearn for a person who is not in this moment nearby, this may be good side- you think about it anyway. And such thoughts and memories always evoke positive emotions. If you are just bored and need something to entertain yourself, this is a completely different matter and you really need to take certain measures.

The easiest thing to do with boredom is to do something to distract yourself. Believe me, nothing can forget about your thoughts like good book, a long walk or an interesting movie in the cinema. If none of this works for you, give it a try. Remember, do you have time for boredom at work, when you need to do a bunch of things at the same time and manage to be personable and have a smile on your face? If there is no work, do anything: do laundry, start cooking some incredibly complex culinary dish, start redecorating the apartment…

It doesn't matter why you are bored, something else is important - how to make sure you don't get bored. Maybe sometimes this feeling is necessary to experience, but you still shouldn’t get carried away with it. Learn to find the most diverse for yourself, and let sadness and boredom fade into the background.

It's always hard to be sad for someone. Did you leave close person for a short period of time, broke off relations with you, died or simply moved to another city, the resulting pain and longing are quite normal. To stop missing a person, you need to learn strategies for overcoming the difficulties that have arisen in front of you. With their help, you can continue to move forward, find peace, humble yourself and realize that even if you lose a person, you can continue to remember him.

Steps

Actions in the short term

Keep track of the days. Cross off the past days on the calendar and each time congratulate yourself on the next day you have lived. Always focus exclusively on the current day. The absence of a loved one will change the course of your life somewhat. When you are forced to manage everything alone, it is very important to focus on successfully getting through each new day!

Focus on other relationships. Time is a very valuable commodity. Now you have enough time to pay attention to other close people who are also important to you, but with whom you do not spend quality time as often as you would like. For example, you can spend more time with your partner, spouse, friends, and extended family.

Send parcels. Prepare and send parcels to the person who has left. Every purchase you make for that person will give you an opportunity to think about them, do something for them, and then lovingly mail them. If your spouse has left and you have children with him, set aside one free evening during the week to draw pictures and make crafts with your children that can be included in the package for your other half.

Take time to do small things. Housework is healthy way distraction, which also helps improve the state of your environment. Concentrate on doing those things that will make time fly by quickly. Some days may be harder than others, but you will always find something to do at home.

• For example, on vacation in the absence of a roommate, you can ennoble your living space. Do something that the returning person will be very pleased to see. Even simple cleaning and the systematization of things will bear fruit. You will occupy yourself with a business that will have a positive effect on the condition of the room.
• Get indoor flowers to fill the living space with vitality.
• Wash windows. No one likes to look at the view from the window through the dirty glass. V clean window the view will be noticeably better.
• Paint the rusted fence.
• Lubricate creaking doors, fix leaking faucets, or send in broken items for repairs.
• Take care of appearance facade of your house. If you plant flowers along the path to the house or put them on the porch beautiful plant in a pot, your mood will noticeably improve.

1. Start a long-term project. There are always things that require a lot of time and effort to complete. If you have enough time, consider initiating a project that you will be engaged in until the very return of a loved one. This way, you will both look forward to seeing the final results of your work, and you will have to constantly strive to fulfill your promise.

   • If your wife is sent on a long business trip, tell her that you are planning to build a wooden gazebo in the backyard.
   • If you have children, start doing a project with them that will help you all get through the period of absence of a loved one together.
   • Make a start orchard that you've always wanted to have.
   • Start saving money for a good cause or for an important purchase for your spouse. Progress reports will help her know that you miss her, love her, and are looking forward to being home.

2. Consider ways to communicate when apart. Chat via Skype, email, letters or postcards. These means of communication are preferable to others, since a person always remains in anticipation of the next contact. When you write a letter to your loved one, you feel closer to him, and getting a response gives you a feeling of admiration. Positive emotions distributed over time help to endure separation more easily.

   Don't be lazy and stay active. Do not wander aimlessly around the house and do not lie in bed. Spend more time outdoors with friends. Try to stick to a comfortable schedule, including spending time doing something exciting, so you can look forward to the future.

   Focus on the positive. Breaking up a relationship can make you remember all the bad things about them. On the contrary, try to identify positive aspects in past relationships and understand what they taught you in order to use the lessons learned in the future. Know how to appreciate the experience gained.

   Coping with the death of a loved one

   1. Allow yourself to grieve. If you are faced with the death of a loved one, then you need to grieve for some time to come to terms with this fact. You won't be able to stop missing the person if you don't give yourself time to calm down, release your emotions, and mourn the loss.

      Appreciate the memory of the person. That's the way you in a healthy way you will begin to move on in life, preserving the memory of a person and continuing his legacy. Talk about the deceased with friends and family members, try to follow the traditions that this person followed, whether it was volunteering, reading books to your children, or listening to that person's favorite music.

      • If the activities that the deceased person loved increase your sadness and longing, make changes to your usual routine. However, once you're ready to quietly move on with your life, return to the things that your departed lover loved. This way you can refresh the good memories of the person and not start missing them too much.
      • Remember that you are not trying to forget the person and never think about them again. You learn to remember a person in a positive way, to control the feelings you experience and to put everything in its place.

   2. Talk to other people who also miss this person. It is wrong to no longer mention a person at all and to get rid of everything that reminds of him completely. However, these measures can be introduced temporarily if you are in great pain. Over time, you will be able to talk more calmly about the deceased. Sometimes memories can alleviate sadness and speed up the healing of emotional wounds. funny phrases and deeds of the deceased.

      • Tender memories of a person can help you come to terms with the fact that he died. Even though a person cannot be brought back to life, discussing memories will help in the process of healing the wound.

   3. Remember that your relationship has not ended, but has changed its form. Relationships include two components: physical and emotional. Despite the fact that the physical component of the relationship was cut off, the emotional component continues to exist. You can never completely stop remembering a dead person.

      • Of course, you don't betray a person by trying not to miss them. If he loved you, she will be glad to see that you are trying to continue living on.
      • It is impossible not to miss a person at all, especially on anniversaries, holidays and other important events that you spent together. Instead of trying to ignore the feeling of loss, tell yourself or others, “I miss ____ today. He would love to be at our event. Let's remember ____. We love him." By doing this, you will confirm the influence of the deceased person on current events and pay tribute to him, which will further help heal the pain of loss.
      • It's okay to get bored from time to time, but it's also okay to want to enjoy. real life rather than focusing on the past.

   4. Spend more time with friends and family. Friends and family will be ready to give you support and help cheer you up during difficult times. They, too, may experience grief, so you can lean on each other and start spending more time together to fill free hours and feel loved and cared for. During this period, you just need to feel love and affection, so spending time in the company of people close to you will help alleviate sadness for the deceased.

      • However, new friends and other relatives will never replace the place of a deceased person in your soul.
      • If you notice that one of your friends or relatives is recovering from grief faster than you, do not be discouraged. Everyone emerges from grief on their own schedule. And you can't know exactly how the other person actually feels.

   5. Consider contacting a psychotherapist. If you need outside help in coping with grief, see a therapist. If you're unsure if a therapy is right for you, try it first and then make your final decision. Discussing your situation with a trained professional will allow you to look at it differently. Find the courage to ask for help in order to survive the challenges of fate.

      • Be proud that you dared to seek help that would be beneficial to your condition. You should not be ashamed and consider yourself a weak person because you have resorted to therapy.

   6. Record your thoughts in a diary. Instead of trying to weigh all the feelings that arise in your mind during the day, try pouring them into the pages of a diary. Keep a diary every morning or every evening to become more aware of your condition and relieve unnecessary stress. You can also record thoughts in a diary as they arise. Choose the option that suits you best.

      Find yourself a soothing activity. With the loss of a loved one, sometimes people get so hung up on the loss and personality of the deceased that they completely forget about themselves. In order to start missing a person less, you must do things every day that will help you feel better. That is, you should sleep at least 7-8 hours at night, eat three meals a day, even if you do not feel like eating, and devote at least 30 minutes of physical activity daily.

3. Take up sports, such as running or playing basketball.
4. Try picking up a new hobby: photography, painting, or cooking.
5. Sign up for fun classes like writing workshops or correct selection combinations different varieties wine with food.
6. Rediscover your love of literature. Read everything that you wanted to, but did not have a chance to read before.
7. Find new types that suit you physical activity. Cycling, hiking and yoga will fill your time and make you feel great.

8. Open your heart to other people. Make an effort to become friendlier to other people. Invite new friends to meet again. At first, you may be shy, but gradually you will get to know others better and better. Smile, be friendly and open to the people you meet along the way.

   • Start the conversation with a few simple questions. Tell something funny about yourself or share funny observations. If you try a little bit, then you will have more friends, and you will miss the person who left less.
   • However, you can never replace someone who left. He was and will be for you important person. Just try to focus on meeting new people. interesting people to make your life more dynamic.
   • Give other people a chance. With people you used to be skeptical of, you may have more in common than you think. If you spend some time with them, you may find that you enjoy their company.

• Laugh - the best medicine. Although it is normal to grieve after a loss, you should not lose heart, for which it will be a good idea to find yourself a good company.
• Try to have some fun to take your mind off things.
• Don't be afraid to cry. There is nothing wrong with crying, it is even useful, as it allows accumulated emotions to come out.
• Look at photos and letters or notes sent to you by a loved one. However, set yourself a time limit for this action so as not to dwell on thoughts about this person.
• Don't think about old fights and bad times. Stay positive.
• If you need to stop thinking about someone, tell yourself, “Stop. I'm not going to think about him anymore now. I have so many things to do, so I better think about them.” Try to take your mind off this person.
• Remember the funny moments you had together and hope to experience something similar again.
• The past cannot be returned, so focus on securing a colorful, fulfilling future for yourself.

Warnings

• Prolonged stay in a mountain can lead to various physical and psychological problems. Learn to overcome grief by using information on the topic from trusted sources. Do not deny yourself the need to mourn the lost relationship, but be able to leave the pain of loss in the past.