There is only one person who is able to lead fate - you yourself. It is foolish to sit in anticipation of the impossible, one must achieve success, act, be decisive, show fortitude. It happens that circumstances are against us, what to do? The answer is simple:

1. do not despair;
2. never give up;
3. set goals for yourself;
4. fight for your happiness no matter what.

Agree, every person at least once suffered from depression, stress, misunderstanding or betrayal, he wanted peace, a quick solution to the problem. Alas, we must perceive the realities as they are. Until there is determination, there is nowhere to take results.

You can get rid of any obstacle and it is necessary to do it with enthusiasm, understanding that obstacles change thinking, make us stronger, wiser, more demanding.

For every trouble in life, you should look for an individual approach, which depends on many factors: goals, values, priorities, etc.

Sometimes it seems that there is no way out, making the right decision is an impossible task. But life goes on, and it is much better to be an active participant in it than to just sit and suffer constantly, and then get angry at yourself because of missed opportunities. Difficulties make it possible to enjoy joys, victories, accept defeats, adapt to changes.

So how do you make the right decision and not regret anything? This is what will be discussed in the article.

The main thing is motivation

Change not for others, do not prove anything to anyone, just be conscious of the opportunity to motivate yourself correctly. Understand why it is needed, what are the ways to implement the plan, then even a difficult decision will be easier.

The most stubborn and responsible one who really wants to achieve results understands that he simply has no right to give up.

In fact, motive is an impetus to action. If arguments can be made, then this can no longer be attributed to spontaneity and thoughtlessness, which means that there is no risk of harm.

It is important to analyze your own thoughts, if in doubt - think carefully, take your time.

Let's set an example

If a girl suffers from overweight and dreams of an ideal figure, it is reasonable to take an example from athletes. You can seek advice from a nutritionist, and not starve yourself in a panic, ruin your health.

Motivation is great, but it needs to be real, helping you make difficult decisions, not creating more trouble.

trust your intuition

Usually, important decision it’s better not to take it in a hurry, you need to think, weigh all the pros and cons, but if you need to decide quickly, do as you originally intended.

Usually the subconscious tells us correct option. What comes to mind first, often works with a bang.

The more we think, the more questions and doubts appear.

1. Never bring yourself to nervous exhaustion.
2. Don't suffer.
3. Learn not to delay solving a problem.
4. Act harmoniously, perceive what is happening without panic.

Before trusting your intuition, think about whether you or someone you know has been in such a situation before, is it possible to predict the outcome, is there enough experience and knowledge to independently determine the difficulties that have arisen?

Use Descartes' Square

There is a simple scheme proposed by Rene Descartes that will simplify the task of making the right decisions.

For example, we think about changing jobs, but we are afraid that we will screw up. Let's plunge into reality and determine how adequate thoughts visit our heads.

• It is correct not to dwell on one of the parties, but to analyze the act with its possible consequences.

It is best to work with the square in writing. Detailed written answers will push you to the right decision without a doubt.

• What does a Descartes square look like:

For all four questions, it is worth giving extensive statements that will help you stay in the same job or quit, break up or continue the relationship with the person. We need to find arguments in order to convince ourselves, to understand how strong values, goals, desires, priorities are.

There is always at least one person who is involved in our lives and is ready to help.

From the outside, a friend can consider the same situation, only calmer, reason more sensibly. It is easier for everyone when it concerns us indirectly.

If there is no such person, imagine that they came to you for help with such a problem, then you will be able to show calmness and a cold mind.

Decide on your priorities

When it comes to something serious, you should forget about the opinion of the masses, inheritance, collective intelligence.

1. You cannot be negligent, lack of independence, manage your life without the help of outsiders, show your ideas, and do not chase what is in trend.
2. Don't let people impose anything on you. Everyone is different by nature, each has its own purpose.

Based on the character, morality, values, hobbies, field of activity, priorities should be formed. We get what is close to us and makes us rejoice.

The morning is wiser than the evening

For some reason, the brightest thoughts visit at night. Naturally, no cherished insight will happen in the morning, but by delaying the moment a little, you can make a worthwhile decision. It will be rethought several times and with a logical conclusion.

Emotions aside

Always make the final decision yourself. Do not try to push the responsibility away, to protect yourself from the problem instead of trying to solve it. Do not rely on luck or happy coincidence. Take responsibility for everything that happens in life.

Remember: The life position of an outsider is a way of being "as long as no one touches."

Emotions are life, but you always have to take over and be able to manage them. In the heat of the moment, you can do such things that you will have to regret for a long time.

Our whole life is woven from the many decisions that we make every minute. It happens every second, and even unconsciously. At some moments we think about how to make a decision, at other times a decision is required only to perform some of the actions we are used to. But one way or another, in order to start doing something, you must first make a decision.

Do you know that there are a huge number of things, even life-changing things, that can be achieved by thinking about it for just one minute. Just 60 seconds of our time.

1 minute is a lot or a little?

Perhaps some of you will now smile and think to yourself that this does not happen. And that serious and businesslike people should weigh all the pros and cons… Yes, I agree with that, although this is already happening after you have made the decision to act in this direction.

Let's say you've been thinking about changing jobs for a month. So, sometimes, after gossip with colleagues or meeting with a successful classmate who, in the same time as you, has achieved much more in his life. But then, this vague desire, under the onslaught of everyday and daily routine, completely disappears from your field of vision. And once again someday it will appear timidly and just as strangely disappear.

And just need to be distracted at such a moment from all other things, concentrate, ask yourself some serious questions and decide now and here: how badly I want to leave this job. Particularly doubters can draw on a piece of paper or in their imagination the well-known “pluses and minuses” (pluses are why I like and suit all this, minuses are all that is why I cannot continue to work here), determine what is more and quickly make a decision.

Yes, I know, I know. Now say that you will hurry, you will make people laugh. Yes, it happens. But you must clearly understand that almost any decision can be made in a minute. Almost any. It is clear that not all. Here, too, the mind must be included.

Well, here is such a non-trivial desire, how to become a millionaire, you see, can be accepted in a minute? No, I hear in the comments ... I bet you, just about this you can read in a very exciting and interesting book by Mark Victor Hansen and Robert Allen "Millionaire in a Minute". A book about business, I think many will be interested in reading it. The authors assure that the decision to become a millionaire can be made in just a minute. Everything that follows is no longer relevant to the decision. Do you agree?

And in our fairly common example of the desire to change jobs, there simply wasn’t that minute of time to stop for a minute and make the right decision. You know, I also had such life situations when the decision matured for a long time, but I did not dare because of more Pluses to make the decision that I needed. Until the moment when the minuses became more. Most likely, this is normal, but it is quite possible that if I had acted faster, I would not have missed so many opportunities.

The secret of successful people

Do you know the secret successful people, and why are they much more effective in their lives than many of us? They just get more done in the same amount of time. And not just manage to do more, but manage to do more MAIN things. Here's a simple secret. If we agree with ourselves, and every day we do one main thing more than the previous one, I assure you, our personal effectiveness will increase many times over in a short time.

This means that the next day we will have to spend more than one minute making a decision, but two whole, since we should also have not one, but two tasks. It is clear that no one forces us to bring it to infinity, yet all our affairs must first of all be brought to a logical result. But if it is reasonable to approach this moment, then the main things will appear regardless of our participation with enviable regularity.

Most importantly: how to make a decision

And here I will give some more interesting considerations on how to make a choice.

heads or tails

You are walking along the seashore and notice a bizarre bottle half sticking out of the sand.
You pick it up and open it.
A light mist comes out of the bottle, which turns into a fabulous genie.
Unlike other genies, this one does not offer to fulfill your three wishes.
He gives you the right to choose.
Option one:
You will get five extra years of life, provided that the life of another person, chosen at random, is reduced by five years.
Do you want to prolong your life on such terms?
Option two:
You can get twenty thousand dollars if you agree to get a tattoo the size of a dollar bill.
Will you take this money?
If so, where will you tattoo and what pattern will you choose?
Option three:
When you wake up tomorrow morning, you will be able to acquire a new quality or skill.
What will you choose?

Good test. And how many similar alternatives appear in our lives when you can’t decide what to do in this situation. Experts advise to develop own system evaluation of options, which is based on many factors: logic, reason, practical experience, emotions, feelings.

How actively we participate at the moment of decision-making depends on the level of our intellectual form. That is why it is so important to learn how to choose correctly. No wonder they say: "You are what you choose." By the way, this statement belongs to management consultant John Arnold. A well-aimed statement very quickly became an aphorism.

What needs to be done to make a decision?

Let's stop for a moment and learn the most important thing that will help us learn how to make the right decision:

1. These are common truths, my friends. I'm sure you all know this. In fact, you know all this, just don't apply it. The problem is just what needs to be done. And if you do unusual things, then this means that you need to get out of your comfort zone. Now this is uncomfortable. Truth? So We start and get out of our comfort zone.

If you don't know where you're going, it doesn't matter which path you take.
Brothers Karamazov, outstanding jugglers

3. We determine the parameters to which our goals must be aligned. It's not hard. We ask ourselves three important questions.

What do I want to receive?

What do I want to avoid?

4. Are looking for alternative solution . We try to make our requirements, obtained by answering the questions listed above, generate alternative solutions themselves.

5. Evaluate and validate the chosen solution. Mathematics is king here. We will have to compare according to criteria, parameters, technical specifications, degree of risk, size of resources, etc.

Fast decisions made are not true.
Sophocles, poet and playwright

He who thinks too much does little.
Johann Friedrich Schiller, poet and playwright

6. Introducing the consequences the decision we made. The most interesting point, in my opinion. It already depends on the power of our imagination. In no case at this stage do you need to consult with relatives, friends and neighbors. For them, you must always remain as you are. They will advise you...

7. Required we feel ourselves and our own intuition. We must try to choose the right option and make the right decision, that is, what we feel is right.

8. We make a decision and we are not afraid that we made the wrong choice. We also need mistakes, though not in large numbers. Mistakes are the experience that will later allow us to evaluate the decision made more quickly.

9. Once you have made a decision, you need to understand that will have to act in accordance with it.

I hear your indignant remarks: And all this can be done in a minute? Well, at first, it may not be possible to do it in a minute, but over time, the actions of our thought process will be brought to automatism, and making decisions will become much easier than now. And then, no one bothers you to develop your own decision-making methodology, I hope that you will definitely share it with us.

Make a decision in 1 minute

A lot can be done in one minute. You can just dream or regret. You can say "I'm quitting", you can say something important or let something important happen, thanks to your silence. You can decide who you want to live with, what you want to do, whether you like doing it. In one minute, you can determine your most important desire, and understand why it is worth living. In one minute you can read this article and find out how to make a decision.

Find those things, those tasks, those tasks to start with, that you can decide on in just 60 seconds. Just one minute of our time. Appreciate the time and do not do it in such a way that later you will regret the missed opportunities. Let's act faster!

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To some extent, we influence our own destiny. And, of course, they are interested in making the choice optimal. That's why it's important to use different tools which will help predict the positive and negative consequences of making a decision.

Why do people make bad decisions?

It's not such a simple question when you think about it. You can, of course, get rid of the banal: "People are stupid." But even smart, talented, experienced people make bad decisions. That's why:

• Lack of time
• Hope for the only source of information
• emotional experiences
• Lots of thoughts about the problem
• Failure to notice alternatives and new opportunities
• Lack of knowledge and clarity
• Underestimating the amount of time it takes to make the right decision
• Reassessment of one's own skills, knowledge, skills and resources
• Fear of making the wrong decision

All these barriers prevent you from making the right decision. And if they work in tandem, trio or quartet, then the situation becomes even worse. How to overcome them?

Practice 360 ​​Degree Thinking

Thoughts affect emotions, emotions affect decisions, and decisions affect actions. And every link in this chain can be optimally tuned.

360-degree thinking consists of three essential components that are methods at the same time. They can be used for effective analysis situation, after which it becomes easier to make the right decision.

These are the components:

• A look into the past.
• Foresight.
• Insight.

By applying all three of these thinking methods, you view your life from a 360-degree perspective. That is, they work best together.

A look into the past

A look into the past (aka retrospective analysis) will help you critically evaluate your past. This allows you to comprehensively understand a situation that has already happened in order to improve your future decisions.

It's useful because it helps you learn from mistakes, problems, failures, and past successes. As a result of this learning experience, you can adjust your course of action to move forward much faster.

If you don't know or have never done self-reflection, then this is a very good time. Take time to reflect on the decisions you made yesterday. Ask yourself:

• What did I do yesterday?
• What decisions did I make?
• What problems did you encounter?
• How did I deal with these issues?
• How did I deal with the problems that arose when I ran into a problem?
• How do I feel about this?
• From what other point of view can I look at my yesterday's problems?
• What can I learn from yesterday's experience?
• What could I have done differently?
• What do I need to improve to deal with this problem more effectively next time?

Note that this is not a simple scrolling of negative thoughts (which is what you usually do), but self-reflection. You ask yourself the right questions, give yourself answers, and figure out what you can do better next time. Now you are more aware of what decisions you make and in what state.

From now on, you will begin to relate to your problems and decision-making more consciously, and not on autopilot. Next time there is a great chance to do everything right. In other words, you drew the right conclusions from past experience - this is what all successful people do.

It should be remembered that you should not use the past in order to make decisions in the future. Each situation is unique in its own way. What works today may not work tomorrow. But the process of self-reflection itself is very useful, because it makes you think about your thinking, actions and decisions.

foresight

Foresight is the ability to predict future events, changes, trends and consequences of one's actions. Moreover, it is the ability to explore alternative scenarios that could potentially unfold.

This mindset is useful because it helps you see and predict what might be ahead. Therefore, you will be better able to identify opportunities and much less likely to make mistakes when making decisions.

Foresight works great in tandem with looking to the past. This way you can use the past as a barometer to predict the future and therefore make better decisions.

To develop foresight, you need to learn how to successfully deal with potential threats and identify your needs in advance. This is planning, as well as gathering the necessary resources that will help in the future.

Ask yourself the following questions:

• How will this decision affect the future?
• How will this decision affect my future decisions?
• What are the consequences of making this decision?
• What options will I have after making this decision?
• What problems will arise?
• What if everything goes wrong? How will I react?
• What is my plan B and C?
• What happens if...?

Foresight is not an exact science. It's more of a game where you try to combine lessons learned from the past with ideas from the present to make the best decision.

Given these two factors, you can generate possible future scenarios that will help you make better decisions.

Insight

Insight is the ability to discern the true nature of a situation. This is the ability to understand one's situation, as well as cause and effect relationships. In other words, we are talking about gaining an accurate understanding of the people, events, and circumstances of your life.

Insight is often the catalyst for creativity, innovation, and inspiration. This is what brings out the “Eureka!” moments when all the pieces of the puzzle suddenly come together into something understandable. It's like you've stepped out of a fog and now you're finally seeing things in a whole new way that opens up a world of new possibilities.

However, it is worth saying that the ideas that come to your mind are nothing more than an interpretation of reality based on past experience, as well as perceptions and expectations for the future. In short, real insight only comes when you have mastered the other two ways of thinking.

The best entrepreneurs and politicians in the world have this skill. To master it, you need to read a lot, understand people and be curious. But even this is not enough. You need to learn to understand the patterns of your thinking, get rid of cognitive distortions, be in a conscious state and see the essence of things. In a sense, it is about intuition.

Start by becoming more observant of what is going on around and within you. Notice the world and ask deep questions about yourself, about others, and about the circumstances in which you find yourself. For example:

• Why do I do what I do? What does it matter to me?
• What do others need? Why is it important to them?
• What's happening? Why is this happening? What does it mean?
• What is the problem? How did it become a problem? Why is it still a problem?
• Why are the circumstances the way they are and not others?
• How did it happen and why does it matter?
• What is the value of knowing this? How does this knowledge change my point of view?
• What is another way to look at this situation? Why is it important?
• Why did this happen? What led to this? What happened before? Is there a connection?
• How are these two events related? Why are they connected in this way?
• How was it done? Who did this? Could it be otherwise?

If you start asking these and similar questions, you will become very attentive and observant. Tyrion Lannister, if you will, who often asked himself what others needed and carefully analyzed the events of his life and the world around him.

You will learn to understand why things are the way they are and that they could potentially be different. In fact, you cease to be a passive observer. As a result, you begin to think critically about yourself, about others, and about the circumstances with which you are dealing. All this stimulates the emergence of deeper thoughts, allowing you to draw conclusions and situations that you have never considered before. It opens up new levels of understanding.

There are situations when the solution lies on the surface, you just need to lend a hand. Others are complex and consist of many factors. To make the right decision, you need to use 360-degree thinking, considering the problem from all sides. It will not work right away, but certain results will be visible after the first application of this technique.

Practice Step by Step Decision Making

Step One: Get Clear Clarity About What You Want

Your first step is to clearly understand your desired outcome and identify the resources needed to achieve that outcome. Ask yourself:

• What is my desired result?
• What specifically would I like to achieve?
• What might be required to achieve this result?
• How should I prioritize my efforts?

Understanding what result you want to achieve is important because it (understanding) helps to direct all efforts towards achieving one goal. Then you can make better decisions.

Step Two: Take Action to Achieve Your Desired Result

When you don't quite understand how to get to your desired destination, it's easy to panic. However, what matters is that you take the first step.

You only need to take one step, which will take you a little closer to desired result. There is probably still a lot of fog ahead, but it is clear that this action is necessary. For example, if you're looking to buy a car and are completely overwhelmed by the number of options, the first step might be to read specialized car forums. By learning to understand the topic, you can make a more informed decision.

In any difficult decision There are always a few things to start with. At some point, you will move forward and the next steps will become more obvious.

Step Three: Track Your Results

You must always be vigilant about what works and what doesn't work. There is no reason to waste precious time on inefficient tools.

However, to start measuring progress, you need to understand what exactly you will measure. Ask yourself the following questions:

• How do I know that I'm moving in the right direction?
• How exactly will I measure my progress?
• How will I know that I have reached my goal?

The more clarity about where you are at, the better the solution.

Step Four: Stay Flexible When Making Decisions

The action plan will always be reworked, because it is impossible to predict all the factors in this absurd world. Therefore, you must be flexible in your decisions and actions at all times. Keep your long-term goals in mind at all times and everywhere to stay on track.

Ask yourself:

• What results do I want to achieve?
• What am I doing now?
• Does my current action bring me closer to results?
• This is the most The best way doing so?
• What should I change to get better results?

Don't freak out if things don't go as planned. This is fine. Find out why you veered off course, be curious, not annoyed. With the curiosity of a scientist, ask yourself questions and look for optimal solutions.

Complete decision making process

The previous paragraph was rather preparatory and theoretical. Here we will talk about the full decision-making process. It will require much more time, which means that it needs to be used if the problem you are facing is really important.

Step One: Get Clarity

Let's first understand the importance of the decision you are about to make. Ask yourself:

• What are the options?
• What is the ideal decision I should make?
• Why is this decision so important?
• How will it help me?
• How important is this decision for my loved ones?
• Can it change my life?
• Do other people understand the importance of this decision?

It is important to clearly understand the importance of the decision you are about to make, because it will help determine how much effort and time you will put in.

Step Two: Gather the Facts and Explore the Options

Sometimes the decision requires the collection of a large amount of information. And, if it is important to you, then you need to allocate enough time for this.

Once you have collected all the information you need, take the time to review possible ways moving forward. Ask yourself:

• What decision can I make?
• What actions can I take?
• What options are there?
• What will I need?

For one decision, you may need money, help from other people, and a lot of time. For others, it takes a lot of work and patience. What will be best for you?

It's time to look at the pros and cons of each solution. Ask yourself:

• What are the benefits of this course of action?
• What are the disadvantages?
• What are the advantages of one option over the other?

As you ask yourself these questions, think about the sacrifices you will have to make in the first and second cases. They may not be obvious: sometimes you can ruin relationships with others by making a decision that does not affect them.

It all basically comes down to opportunity cost. By taking one course of action, you cannot take another, and for different options may have its own advantages and disadvantages.

Step Four: Determine the Worst Case

Remember Murphy's Law: "If something bad can happen, it will happen." Take it into account whenever you make a decision.

Ask yourself, “What is the worst that could happen if I make this decision. How do I deal with the consequences?"

Of course, the worst-case scenario may not always happen. But you need to be ready for it. At least psychologically. After weighing all the pros and cons, finding out what the worst-case scenarios are waiting for you, make a decision. But remember that it must be flexible: if something goes wrong, you can quickly rebuild and update your plan of action.

Step Five: Learn From Your Experience

You have made a decision and now you are either reaping the rewards of your efforts or regretting your mistakes. Either way, it's all an experience to be appreciated. Ask yourself:

• What have I learned from this experience?
• What have I learned from how I make decisions?
• Was this decision in complete harmony with my personality and my values?
• Have I achieved the desired result?
• Did I adjust my actions when I ran into problems?

There are many questions you could ask yourself. So please don't limit yourself to just these. Think of others you could ask, especially after mistakes, defeat, or failure.

We wish you good luck!