Improving communication efficiency. Summary: Effective communication

Introduction

“The ability to communicate with people is a commodity, and I will pay more for this skill than for anything else in the world.”

(J. Rockefeller)

Man is a "social being". This means that he lives among people and carries out his life activity (achieves goals, satisfies needs, works) only through interaction, communication - contact, mediated or imaginary.

In communication as a process of successive mutually oriented in time and space actions, reactions, behavioral acts, there is an exchange of information and its interpretation, mutual perception, mutual understanding, mutual assessment, empathy, the formation of likes or dislikes, the nature of relationships, beliefs, views, psychological impact, conflict resolution, implementation joint activities. Thus, each of us in our lives, interacting with other people, acquires practical skills and abilities in the field of communication.

Considering the process of human cognition of a person in communication, one of the founders of Soviet psychology, S.L. Rubinstein wrote: "In Everyday life When communicating with people, we are oriented in their behavior, since we, as it were, “read” it, that is, we decipher the meaning of its external data and reveal the meaning of the text thus obtained in a context that has its own internal psychological plan. This 'reading' is fleeting, because in the process of communicating with those around us, certain studies are developed, a more or less automatically functioning subtext to their behavior.

Effective communication is the only thing that can be really important for all people living in a society. Not thinking about effective communication while communicating is like crossing a street in a busy place without looking around.

Effective communication:

Promotes mutual understanding

directs the flow of information in the right direction;

helps people overcome barriers to open discussion;

Encourages interlocutors to take action to achieve their goals;

· communicates information, encouraging employees to think in new ways and act more effectively.

This paper describes the most significant techniques and technologies for effective communication.

Effective communication

Communication plays a huge role in the life of society. Without it, the process of education, formation, development of personality, interpersonal contacts, as well as management, service, scientific work and other activities in all areas where the transfer, assimilation and exchange of information is necessary.

Communication plays important role in mastering by a person cultural and universal values, social experience. In the process of communication, this specific form of human interaction with other people, a mutual exchange of ideas, ideas, interests, moods, attitudes, etc. is carried out.

Increasing the importance of communication in modern world requires the ability to communicate. This means that communication needs to be taught, communication needs to be learned, which implies the need for a deep knowledge of this phenomenon, its patterns and features that are manifested in people's activities.

It is proposed to put the following definition of this discipline into the basis of the theory of speech culture as a special linguistic discipline. The culture of speech is such a set and such an organization language tools, which in a certain situation of communication, while observing modern language norms and ethics of communication, can provide the greatest effect in achieving the set communicative tasks.

The effectiveness of communication is that "final product", the creation of which should be facilitated by the theory of speech culture in its practical application. By effective communication we mean best way achieving the set communication goals. The communicative goals of communication are closely related to the basic functions of the language.

Effective communication technologies are such methods, techniques and means of communication that fully ensure mutual understanding and mutual empathy (empathy is the ability to put oneself in the place of another person (or object), the ability to empathize) communication partners.

Communication itself as a complex socio-psychological process is characterized by three main content aspects: communicative, interactive and perceptual. Each of them has relative independence and provides certain goals for the subjects of communication:

The communicative aspect reflects the desire of communication partners to exchange information;

The interactive aspect is manifested in the need for them to comply with the established norms of communication, as well as in their desire to actively influence each other in a certain direction;

The perceptual aspect expresses the need of the subjects of communication for mutual empathy, sympathy, empathy.

A special place in the content of technologies for effective communication in conflict is occupied by the target settings of conflict participants. First of all, this is due to a significant contradiction in the very process of such communication. On the one hand, rivals especially need to understand each other correctly. On the other hand, such mutual understanding is hampered by the lack of proper trust between them, their "closedness" in relation to each other, due to conscious or unconscious self-defense in the conflict. Therefore, in order to ensure constructive communication in a conflict, it is desirable (if possible) to create an atmosphere of mutual trust in this process, to form a target setting for cooperation.

The main content of effective communication technologies ultimately comes down to compliance with certain rules and norms of communication.

Basic rules for effective communication:

Concentrate on the speaker, his message.

· Clarify whether you have correctly understood both the general content of the received information and its details.

· Communicate to the other party in paraphrased form the meaning of the received information.

· In the process of receiving information, do not interrupt the speaker, do not give advice, do not criticize, do not sum up, do not be distracted by preparing an answer. This can be done after receiving the information and clarifying it.

· Make sure you are heard and understood. Follow the order in which information is presented. If you are not convinced of the accuracy of the information received by the partner, do not proceed to new messages.

Maintain an atmosphere of trust, mutual respect, show empathy for the interlocutor.

· Use non-verbal means of communication: frequent eye contact; nodding the head as a sign of understanding and other techniques that encourage constructive dialogue.

For effective communication, you need to know some tricks, because. many of them operate at the subconscious level.

A few tips for effective communication:

- "Rule of three twenty":

· 20 sec. you are being evaluated.

· 20 sec. how and what you started to say.

· 20 cm of smiles and charm.

6 rules of Gleb Zheglov:

Show genuine interest in the interviewer.

· Smile.

Remember the name of the person and remember to repeat it from time to time in a conversation.

· Be able to listen.

· Carry on a conversation in the circle of interests of your interlocutor.

· Treat him with respect.

How to increase the usefulness of a contact:

· Be observant;

· Make a compliment;

· Talk about the problems of the interlocutor.

Black's Rules for Effective Communication:

· Always insist on the truth.

· Build messages simply and clearly.

Do not embellish, do not stuff the price.

· Remember that 1/2 of the audience are women.

Make communication exciting, avoid boredom and routine.

· Control the form of communication, avoid extravagance.

· Take the time to find out the general opinion.

· Remember the need for continuous communication and clarification of a common opinion.

Try to be persuasive at every stage of communication.

As a result you will get:

Formal contact develops into normal human communication.

· You will win the interlocutor.

· You will increase your self-esteem.

Let's look at some of the effective communication techniques and the importance of applying them in more detail.

First impression (first 20 seconds)

The first impression of a person is 38% dependent on the sound of the voice, 55% on visual sensations (from sign language) and only 7% on the verbal component. Of course, the first impression is not always the final verdict, but it is important that communication is built on its basis from the very beginning. Therefore, it is important to be able to make a good impression on others.

To safely get through the "minefield" of the first 20 seconds, you must use the "Rule of three" pluses ".

Experts have noticed: in order to win over the interlocutor from the very beginning of an acquaintance or conversation, you need to give him at least three psychological “pluses”, in other words, make pleasant “gifts” to his Child three times (The same applies to the end of a conversation or meeting).

There are, of course, many possible "pluses", but the most universal of them: a compliment, a smile, the name of the interlocutor and raising his importance.

Compliment

At first glance, a compliment is the easiest thing to communicate. But to make it masterfully is the highest art.

Compliments are of three types:

1. An indirect compliment. We praise not the person himself, but what is dear to him: a hunter - a gun, a “crazy” on dogs - his pet, a parent - a child, etc. It is enough, going into the office of a female boss, to notice in passing how tastefully the furnishings are chosen and how comfortable you feel here, in order to earn some favor with this.

2. Compliment "minus-plus". We give the interlocutor at first a small "minus". For example, “Perhaps I can’t say that you are a good worker ... You are an indispensable specialist for us!” After the “minus”, a person is lost and ready to be indignant, and then, in contrast, something very flattering for him is said. The psychological state resembles the sensations of a person balancing on the edge of an abyss: first, horror at the thought of death, and then, indescribable joy: “Alive!” Psychologists consider such a compliment to be the most emotional and memorable, but, like everything potent, it is risky. If the "minus" turns out to be stronger than the "plus", the consequences can be disastrous for us.

Effective communication

Communication plays an important role in a person's mastery of cultural and universal values, social experience. In the process of communication, this specific form of human interaction with other people, a mutual exchange of ideas, ideas, interests, moods, attitudes, etc. is carried out.

Increasing the importance of communication in today's world requires the ability to communicate. This means that communication needs to be taught, communication needs to be learned, which implies the need for a deep knowledge of this phenomenon, its patterns and features that are manifested in people's activities.

It is proposed to put the following definition of this discipline into the basis of the theory of speech culture as a special linguistic discipline. The culture of speech is such a set and such an organization of language means that, in a certain situation of communication, while observing modern language norms and ethics of communication, can provide the greatest effect in achieving the set communicative tasks.

The effectiveness of communication is the "final product", the creation of which should be facilitated by the theory of speech culture in its practical application. By the effectiveness of communication, we mean the best way to achieve the set communication goals. The communicative goals of communication are closely related to the basic functions of the language.

The communicative aspect reflects the desire of communication partners to exchange information;

The interactive aspect is manifested in the need for them to comply with the established norms of communication, as well as in their desire to actively influence each other in a certain direction;

The perceptual aspect expresses the need of the subjects of communication for mutual empathy, sympathy, empathy.

The main content of effective communication technologies ultimately comes down to compliance with certain rules and norms of communication.

Basic rules for effective communication:

Concentrate on the speaker, his message.

Specify whether you correctly understood both the general content of the received information and its details.

Tell the other party in paraphrased form the meaning of the information received.

In the process of receiving information, do not interrupt the speaker, do not give advice, do not criticize, do not sum up, do not be distracted by preparing an answer. This can be done after receiving the information and clarifying it.

Make sure you are heard and understood. Follow the order in which information is presented. If you are not convinced of the accuracy of the information received by the partner, do not proceed to new messages.

Maintain an atmosphere of trust, mutual respect, show empathy for the interlocutor.

Use non-verbal means of communication: frequent eye contact; nodding the head as a sign of understanding and other techniques that encourage constructive dialogue.

For effective communication, you need to know some tricks, because. many of them operate at the subconscious level.

A few tips for effective communication:

- "Rule of three twenty":

20 sec. you are being evaluated.

20 sec. how and what you started to say.

20 cm smiles and charm.

6 rules of Gleb Zheglov:

Show genuine interest in the interviewee.

Smile.

Remember the name of the person and do not forget to repeat it from time to time in a conversation.

Be able to listen.

Carry on a conversation in the circle of interests of your interlocutor.

Treat him with respect.

How to increase the usefulness of a contact:

Be observant;

Make a compliment;

Talk about the problems of the interlocutor.

Black's Rules for Effective Communication:

Always insist on the truth.

Building messages is simple and clear.

Do not embellish, do not stuff the price.

Remember that 1/2 of the audience are women.

Make communication exciting, avoid boredom and routine.

Control the form of communication, avoid extravagance.

Do not spare time to clarify the general opinion.

Remember the need for continuous communication and clarification of a common opinion.

Try to be persuasive at every stage of communication.

As a result you will get:

Formal contact develops into normal human communication.

You will win the interlocutor.

You will increase your self-esteem.

Let's look at some of the effective communication techniques and the importance of applying them in more detail.

First impression (first 20 seconds)

The first impression of a person is 38% dependent on the sound of the voice, 55% on visual sensations (on sign language) and only 7% on the verbal component. Of course, the first impression is not always the final verdict, but it is important that communication is built on its basis from the very beginning. Therefore, it is important to be able to make a good impression on others.

To safely get through the "minefield" of the first 20 seconds, you must use the "Rule of three" pluses ".

There are, of course, many possible "pluses", but the most universal of them: a compliment, a smile, the name of the interlocutor and raising his importance.

Compliment

At first glance, a compliment is the easiest thing to communicate. But to make it masterfully is the highest art.

Compliments are of three types:

3. The person is compared to something most dear to the one who compliments. “I would like to have a responsible son like you!” This compliment is the most subtle and most pleasant for the interlocutor. But its scope is limited:

In order not to look artificial, the existence of close and trusting relationships between the interlocutors is necessary.

The partner must know how important for us what we are comparing.

The most difficult thing in a compliment is to adequately answer it. This cannot be done right away, otherwise the person, if not offended, will no longer want to compliment us another time. General scheme could be: "It's thanks to you!" All art consists in the ability to gracefully vary it. In other words, it is necessary to return the psychological “plus” to the person who gave it to us. At the same time, it is important to praise the interlocutor for his positive qualities, and not for the fact that he is so good: he praised us, noticed the good in us.

A smile is an expression good relationship to the interlocutor, a psychological “plus”, the answer to which is the disposition of the interlocutor towards us. A sincere, benevolent smile cannot spoil a single face, and the vast majority of them make them more attractive.

It is advisable to accustom yourself to the fact that a warm, friendly smile, or at least readiness for it, becomes the usual expression of your face. This is how your smile should be – open and sincere.

Remember the name of the interlocutor

The very sound of a name has a great impact on a person. During conflicts, wanting to relieve their severity, people subconsciously begin to use the names of their interlocutors more often. Often we need not so much to insist on our own, but to see that people listen to us, to hear our own name at the same time. Often the name is the decisive drop for the case to turn in our favor. A manager who wants to make a good impression can use the following technique: keep a notebook and write down the names of all his business partners and subordinates, and sometimes look at it so that he can address him by name when meeting. It makes an indelible impression on people that a person who is much higher in the ranks remembers them by name.

The name of a person is the most important sound for him in any language.

Raising the importance of the interlocutor

We all want to feel significant, so that at least in something, at least somewhere, something depends on us.

The need to feel important is one of the most natural and characteristic human weaknesses inherent in these people to one degree or another. And sometimes it is enough to give a person the opportunity to realize his own significance so that he gladly agrees to do what we ask.

Any worker wants others to appreciate his work, recognize his employment, usefulness and irreplaceability. Therefore, it never hurts us to address him to apologize for the "disturbance caused", although the fulfillment of our request is included in the circle of his "official duties".

Of course, there are thousands of means of raising the importance of the interlocutor, everyone chooses the most suitable for the given situation. But there are also universal remedies that can be called truly magical words.

For example, the phrase "I would like to consult with you!". People read them like this: “They want to consult me. I am needed! I am significant! Well, why not help this man?” Of course, this phrase is a general formula, all art consists in the ability to vary it, to look for the words that are most suitable for the situation.

The main thing is to sincerely ask a person for this or that help.

Raising the importance of the interlocutor can become a universal key to his soul, only if it is done sincerely.

Listening skills

Rule 1: "The best interlocutor is not the one who can speak well, but the one who knows how to listen well."

Rule 2: "People tend to listen to another only after they have listened to them."

So, if we want to be listened to, we must first listen to the interlocutor.

There are special techniques for understanding listening that everyone can learn:

non-reflective listening.

Non-reflective listening is listening without analysis (reflection), giving the interlocutor the opportunity to speak. It consists in the ability to be attentively silent. All you need to do is to keep the interlocutor's speech flowing, trying to ensure that he speaks completely.

clarification

Clarification is an appeal to the speaker for some clarification. The essence of this technique is that the listener, in case of misunderstanding, ambiguity of a phrase, ambiguity of a word, asks “clarifying” questions. This technique allows you to eliminate misunderstanding, as they say, "on the vine". Clarification is useful in cases where we need to accurately understand the position of the interlocutor, when the slightest inaccuracy can lead to negative consequences; when a person speaks confusedly, does not make the necessary explanations, jumps from one to another, because clarification helps in this case to understand the essence of the story. Clarification also helps the speaker. "Clarifying" questions show the speaker that they are listening (which, of course, gives confidence), and after the necessary explanations, he can be sure that he is understood.

paraphrasing

To paraphrase means to say the same idea, but in a slightly different way. This technique helps to make sure that we have “deciphered” the words of the interlocutor, and move on with the confidence that everything has been understood correctly so far. Paraphrasing is an almost universal technique. It can be used both in a business conversation and in personal communication.

summary

A summary is a summary. The essence of this method of listening is that we summarize in our own words the main thoughts of the interlocutor. The summarizing phrase is the speech of the interlocutor in a “curtailed” form, its main idea. Summarizing is fundamentally different from paraphrasing, the essence of which is the repetition of every thought of the interlocutor, but in your own words, which shows him our attentiveness and understanding. When summarizing from the whole part of the conversation, only the main idea.

reflection of feelings

Reflection of feelings is the desire to show the interlocutor that we understand his feelings. How pleasant it is to talk with a sensitive interlocutor who shares our emotions and experiences, not paying attention to the content of speech, the essence of which sometimes does not have much meaning for ourselves.

Understanding non-verbal messages

Non-verbal communication is a non-verbal form of communication that includes gestures, facial expressions, postures, visual contact, voice timbre, touch, and conveys figurative and emotional content. Non-verbal communication is a type of communication without the use of words.

Observations have shown that in communication processes 60% -95% of information is transmitted using non-verbal communication.

Friendly look: Even when you are just carrying on an optional conversation, a person who is close to you will often look at you, especially when you are talking. Psychologists use the expression "eating with the eyes" to denote this - it means to look at the other person incessantly, especially in his face, but not always meet the eyes.

It is worth considering that, for example, women not only tend to “eat with the eyes” of their interlocutor more, but also have a more positive attitude towards the fact that they are looked at a lot. Men in general are relatively less likely to allow themselves to be looked at often, even as a sign of warm and friendly relations.

Warm intonations: we always follow the timbre and intonations of the voice as a means of expressing the emotional content of the words we hear, and in conversation we can distinguish them from the meaning of the words themselves. The voice is better at expressing positive than negative emotions, and you have probably found out, based on intonation alone, that the interlocutor likes you. By the way, scientists say that in this way it is easier to determine whether they are trying to mislead you, or they are speaking directly and frankly.

Warmth of touch. Touching another person, devoid of sexual connotation, say, on the arm or shoulder, is the strongest means of conveying warmth and sympathy. When there is no reason that it will be negatively perceived, feel free to touch if it comes naturally to you. Those who know how to touch the interlocutor in a conversation are usually perceived as cute and attractive, but you need to be very attentive to possible reaction another person.

Mirror reflection (positional echo) is another sign by which we can say with confidence that two people get along well with each other. Observing how people stand, sit, move, you can see their tendency to imitate each other so much that it seems as if it is one person reflected in the mirror. This process takes place at the subconscious level, it is based on a non-verbal message: "Look, I'm just like you." Unobtrusively copying some of the gestures of a person, it is easier to win him over, calm and relax.

Gestures and postures: it is very important for a person to properly control his body and convey exactly the information that is required in a given situation with the help of facial expressions and gestures. The posture during a conversation means a lot: interest in the conversation, subordination, the desire for joint activities, etc.

Tab. 1. Meaning of some gestures and postures

	Gestures, postures	The state of the interlocutor
	Open hands palms up	sincerity, openness
	Jacket unbuttoned (or removed)	Openness, friendliness
	Hands hidden (behind the back, in pockets)	Feelings of guilt or tense perception of the situation
	Arms crossed on chest	Protection, defense
	Fists clenched (or fingers clinging to an object)	Protection, defense
	The hands are relaxed	calmness
	A person sits on the edge of a chair, leaning forward, his head slightly tilted and resting on his hand.	Interest
	Head slightly tilted to the side	attentive listening
	A person rests his chin on his palm, index finger along the cheek, the remaining fingers below the mouth	Critical Assessment
	Chin scratching (often accompanied by slight squinting of the eyes)	Considering a decision
	Palm grabs the chin	Considering a decision
	A man slowly takes off his glasses, carefully wipes the glasses	Desire to buy time, preparation for decisive resistance
	Man walking around the room	Considering a difficult decision
	Pinching of the bridge of the nose	Tension resistance
	Man covering his mouth with his hand while speaking
	Man covering his mouth with his hand while listening	Doubt, distrust of the speaker
	The person tries not to look at you	Stealth, hiding one's position
	Looking away from you	Suspicion, doubt
	The speaker lightly touches the nose or eyelid (usually index finger)
	Listeners lightly touch eyelid, nose or ear	distrust of the speaker
	When shaking hands, a person holds his hand on top	Excellence, Confidence
	When shaking hands, a person holds his hand from below	Subordination
	The owner of the office begins to collect papers on the table	Conversation is over
	Legs or the whole body of a person facing the exit	Desire to leave
	The person's hand is in the pocket, the thumb is outside	Excellence, Confidence
	The speaker gestures with a clenched fist	Demonstration of power, threat
	The jacket is buttoned up	Officiality, emphasizing the distance
	Man sitting astride a chair	Aggressive state
	Pupils are dilated	Interest or excitement
	Pupils constricted	Stealth, concealment of position

Sign language in many cases can be called the language of friendly disposition. However, in our life there are situations when people's gestures begin to mean the exact opposite. But many of us are not brave enough to say directly to another person that we are not happy to meet and want to be left alone. Therefore, it is worth learning to recognize negative signals.

Conclusion

What do we mean by “effective communication”? Effective communication is more than just passing on information. In order for communication to be effective, it is important not only to be able to speak, but also to be able to listen, hear and understand what the interlocutor is talking about. Unfortunately, surely no one taught us the art of communication. Yes, of course, we were taught how to write and read, but we were not taught how to listen and speak. Everyone develops these abilities on their own, learning from the people who surround us (primarily parents). It is possible that you adopted your parents' manner of communication as a child, but this manner or form of communication may not always be effective.

How can you improve your communication with others?

In order for communication to be effective, contact must be established between us and our interlocutor. In the course of communication, each of us wants to be heard and understood, for this reason, during the conversation, show respect for the point of view of the speaker. For effective communication, it is also recommended to speak at the same pace and in the same volume, as well as using a similar posture (standing or sitting) as your interlocutor. Remember that people love to be imitated.

Non-verbal communication

Non-verbal communication is a very important part of communication. Only a small part of communication is directly words. This means that communication mainly consists of facial expressions and gestures. We also use non-verbal communication to show our response to what we are being told.

Make sure you are understood correctly

After you have finished the conversation, provided certain information, be sure to make sure that you have been understood correctly. To do this, simply ask a few questions like “Do you understand what I actually wanted / wanted to say?” or similar question.

Respond to the information of the interlocutor

Communication is present in the life of every person: people constantly exchange various information, which has different goals and topics. But is there effective communication between people?

It is possible to achieve effective communication, only in the case when both interlocutors listen to each other's words, a relationship is formed between them. special connection which makes people feel satisfied with the conversation.

Communication is everything!

Every day a person says thousands of words aloud, for other people. He communicates with other members of society for various reasons: request, demand, offer, desire, and much more.

The solution of any issue requires communication with another person, discussing this topic and coming to some kind of consensus. But sometimes we talk to a person, and we feel that true meaning our words do not reach him, our opinion is not perceived in any way, and the conversation turns out to be meaningless.

Communication: key rules

The effectiveness of communication is impossible without observing some rules that are not written anywhere, but the outcome of communication depends on their implementation:

Do not interrupt the interlocutor, listen to his thought to the end.
Try to show what you think.
Do not start with the words: “You are wrong!”, “This is not true”, etc.: your arguments and arguments should convince the interlocutor, set him up for a constructive dialogue.
Express yourself clearly, clearly, unemotionally, openly.
Be friendly.

These rules can go on for a long time: the list expands depending on the situation.

Communication with peers has one structure, the dialogue of the younger generation with the older one has a different structure. In addition, communication is influenced by nationality, gender, religious affiliation and much more. Given this, you can see what the effects of communication actually are.

Effects of communication: both for you and the interlocutor

By following the rules, taking into account all the features of the worldview of your interlocutor and the essence of your dialogue, you can see the effects of communication. Firstly, the topic is disclosed widely, arguments are given that do not require proof, both interlocutors, in the end, share each other's opinion.

Some of the most difficult conversations are between parents and children. These people belong to different generations and consider their opinion to be truly true. To achieve effective communication, both parties need to go a long way to understanding their parent/child. Sometimes it requires the work of a professional psychologist who understands the conflict.

Communication that is effective for both parties depends on how much they understand each other. To do this, experts recommend for one day to "swap places" and take on the responsibilities of another. Often this allows you to come, if not to complete agreement, then to some kind of compromise.

Communication efficiency matters everywhere

Communication is the sign of a civilized person.

If people did not strive to understand others, or to perceive their positions, then now the whole earth would be mired in wars. However, if you do not compare so globally, then the current life of people depends on how fruitful communication will be.

Many loving married couples file for divorce just because they can't come to a consensus, each pulling the blanket over himself and putting their own goals ahead of the other's. In this case, it is important not only to follow the rules of communication, but also to behave appropriately. Sometimes, in order to achieve effective communication, it is important to give in.

Psychologists about effective communication

Effective communication, paradoxically, is still the subject of discussion among psychologists around the world. People try to find one common remedy for resolving conflict situations. But many experts advise only listening to the other person - this is the basis for communication with a positive outcome.

All information is subjective, and there is no topic that has only one side. Any opinion can be right or wrong, in the context of this topic. To establish communication with a person, sometimes it is enough to listen to him, to enter into his position. If each interlocutor practices this, then it will be much easier to achieve a positive effect. At the same time, this position does not allow for the rejection of one's own opinion.

Communication between a man and a woman, an adult and a child, fathers and children has its own characteristics. But there is a way out of every situation - you just need to set yourself up for communication productivity, observe a few simple rules and think about a good and productive outcome. Remember each person is unique, and communication with him becomes unique and incomparable.

Every day we communicate with different people. But very few notice that in the course of a conversation we play certain roles, “put on masks” for ourselves. Why is this happening? The main reasons for superficial and inadequate communication are the desire to protect one's identity and complete ignorance of oneself. Every minute of his life, when a person is among his colleagues, acquaintances and even friends, he is forced to “wear a mask” in order to create a kind of protective wall between himself and the outside world. This wall is a fictional person who also exists to maintain a certain image among others. And as a result, each of us communicates not with a real person, but with his imaginary image. You may have often noticed how your conversation style changes in different situations. For any communication, you have your own role: for work, for friends, for parents, for acquaintances, etc. The same person at work can be serious and silent, you will never hear a single joke from him, you will never see a smile on his face, but when meeting with friends he is a merry fellow, he does not stop talking for a minute. In one person there are many different selves, many roles.

Today the process of communication is more and more illusory. He is only the interaction of two images, acting. At this moment, a person's personality is a theatrical mask that skillfully hides the true "I" of a person, his essence. Therefore, very often we are faced with misunderstanding and constant disputes. But is it possible to learn to communicate without playing, discarding all roles? The first step for real dialogue will be to develop the ability to listen to the other, to listen "for real". It's a complex skill that not many people have. True listening occurs only when the listener is silent inside and directs all his attention to the interlocutor. At this moment, he does not evaluate the words and ideas of the speaker, does not think about the past or future affairs, but only tries to understand everything that the interlocutor is talking about. Listening is a science that requires serious practice and theoretical knowledge, because even the flow of extraneous thoughts during a conversation can only be stopped by a few.

Also, in order to master the skills of effective and open communication, it is necessary to observe oneself and the roles played. Each time during the dialogue, carefully observe the changes taking place with you. When communicating with different interlocutors, a person changes: the timbre of the voice, the rate of speech, active vocabulary, facial expressions, body position, etc. The very process of observing your “masks” produces integration, the unification of your various personalities into one real and unchanging one. Paying attention to the changes listed above, do not try to change anything in your behavior, you only need to carefully and calmly observe yourself, without evaluation and analysis.

Today, many stereotypes of behavior and erroneous training programs stand in the way of a true natural dialogue. In the process of business interaction, we see more and more distorted and formulaic communication. Salespeople in the store use certain learned phrases, sales managers speak in an official tone, not taking into account the reaction of the interlocutor. Now more and more often communication takes place as if on a conveyor. But even in a business conversation, you can be open and real, abandon prepared phrases and stereotypical roles. And in large sales, the skill of real communication can become indispensable. Few people want to be talked to as if they were just another client, in the same type and dryly. During business communication The skill of improvisation is more important than ever. Improvisation always sounds confident and interesting, contributing to real understanding. Improvisation is a natural and the only correct choice in the constantly changing conditions of life. To develop the skill of improvisation, it is desirable to observe your automatic manifestations as often as possible during a conversation (see above). There are also numerous exercises: for example, inventing stories to find, finding common features at various objects (a table and a lake, a dog and a lamppost, a telephone and a car, etc.), communication with unfamiliar people, etc.

Effective communication is, first of all, communication open and natural, free from various prejudices and role playing. Dialogue as a constant improvisation, without blanks and any struggle. When people understand each other, there is no point in proving their point of view, arguing or hiding something. After all, true understanding implies complete agreement.

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Effective communication

"The ability to communicate with people is a commodity, and I will pay more for this skill than for anything else in the world." (J. Rockefeller)

It is proposed to put the following definition of this discipline into the basis of the theory of speech culture as a special linguistic discipline. The culture of speech is such a set and such an organization of language means that, in a certain situation of communication, while observing modern language norms and ethics of communication, can provide the greatest effect in achieving the set communicative tasks.

* the communicative aspect reflects the desire of communication partners to exchange information;

* the interactive aspect is manifested in the need for them to comply with the established norms of communication, as well as in their desire to actively influence each other in a certain direction;

* perceptual aspect expresses the need of the subjects of communication for mutual empathy, sympathy, empathy.

The main content of effective communication technologies ultimately comes down to compliance with certain rules and norms of communication.

Basic rules for effective communication:

Concentrate on the speaker, his message.

Specify whether you correctly understood both the general content of the received information and its details.

Tell the other party in paraphrased form the meaning of the information received.

Maintain an atmosphere of trust, mutual respect, show empathy for the interlocutor.

Use non-verbal means of communication: frequent eye contact; nodding the head as a sign of understanding and other techniques that encourage constructive dialogue.

For effective communication, you need to know some tricks, because. many of them operate at the subconscious level.

A few tips for effective communication:

- "Rule of three twenty":

20 sec. you are being evaluated.

20 sec. how and what you started to say.

20 cm smiles and charm.

6 rules of Gleb Zheglov:

Show genuine interest in the interviewee.

Smile.

Remember the name of the person and do not forget to repeat it from time to time in a conversation.

Be able to listen.

Carry on a conversation in the circle of interests of your interlocutor.

Treat him with respect.

How to increase the usefulness of a contact:

Be observant;

Make a compliment;

Talk about the problems of the interlocutor.

Black's Rules for Effective Communication:

Always insist on the truth.

Building messages is simple and clear.

Do not embellish, do not stuff the price.

Remember that 1/2 of the audience are women.

Make communication exciting, avoid boredom and routine.

Control the form of communication, avoid extravagance.

Do not spare time to clarify the general opinion.

Remember the need for continuous communication and clarification of a common opinion.

Try to be persuasive at every stage of communication.

As a result you will get:

Formal contact develops into normal human communication.

You will win the interlocutor.

You will increase your self-esteem.

Let's look at some of the effective communication techniques and the importance of applying them in more detail.

First impression (first 20 seconds)

To safely get through the "minefield" of the first 20 seconds, you must use the "Rule of three" pluses ".

There are, of course, many possible "pluses", but the most universal of them: a compliment, a smile, the name of the interlocutor and raising his importance.

Compliment

At first glance, a compliment is the easiest thing to communicate. But to make it masterfully is the highest art.

Smile- this is an expression of a good attitude towards the interlocutor, a psychological "plus", the answer to which is the disposition of the interlocutor towards us. A sincere, benevolent smile cannot spoil a single face, and the vast majority of them make them more attractive.

Remember the name of the interlocutor

The name of a person is the most important sound for him in any language.

Raising the importance of the interlocutor

We all want to feel significant, so that at least in something, at least somewhere, something depends on us.

The main thing is to sincerely ask a person for this or that help.

Raising the importance of the interlocutor can become a universal key to his soul, only if it is done sincerely.

Listening skills

Rule 1: "The best interlocutor is not the one who can speak well, but the one who knows how to listen well."

Rule 2: "People tend to listen to another only after they have listened to them."

So, if we want to be listened to, we must first listen to the interlocutor.

There are special techniques for understanding listening that everyone can learn:

Non-reflective listening.

Non-reflexive listening is listening without analysis (reflection), giving the interlocutor the opportunity to speak. It consists in the ability to be attentively silent. All you need to do is to keep the interlocutor's speech flowing, trying to get him to speak out completely.

Finding out

Paraphrasing

Summary

A summary is a summary. The essence of this method of listening is that we summarize in our own words the main thoughts of the interlocutor. The summarizing phrase is the speech of the interlocutor in a “curtailed” form, its main idea. Summarizing is fundamentally different from paraphrasing, the essence of which is the repetition of every thought of the interlocutor, but in your own words, which shows him our attentiveness and understanding. When summarizing, only the main idea stands out from the whole part of the conversation. social psychological technology communication

Reflection of feelings

Understanding non-verbal messages

Observations have shown that in the processes of communication 60% -95% of information is transmitted through non-verbal communication.

Friendly look: Even when you are just carrying on an optional conversation, a person who is close to you will often look at you, especially when you are talking. Psychologists use the expression "eating with the eyes" to denote this - it means looking at another person, especially in his face, but not always meeting eyes.

Mirror reflection (positional echo) is another sign by which we can say with confidence that two people get along very well with each other. Observing how people stand, sit, move, you can see their tendency to imitate each other so much that it seems as if it is one person reflected in the mirror. This process takes place at the subconscious level, it is based on a non-verbal message: "Look, I'm just like you." Unobtrusively copying some of the gestures of a person, it is easier to win him over, calm and relax.

Conclusion

What do we mean by “effective communication”? Effective communication is more than just conveying information. In order for communication to be effective, it is important not only to be able to speak, but also to be able to listen, hear and understand what the interlocutor is talking about. Unfortunately, surely no one taught us the art of communication. Yes, of course, we were taught how to write and read, but we were not taught how to listen and speak. Everyone develops these abilities on their own, learning from the people who surround us (primarily parents). It is possible that you adopted your parents' manner of communication as a child, but this manner or form of communication may not always be effective.

How can you improve your communication with others?

Non-verbal communication

Make sure you are understood correctly

Respond to the information of the interlocutor

Do not passively accept the information of the interlocutor. During the conversation, it is recommended to make it clear with gestures, facial expressions, words that you are listening and hearing the interlocutor, you understand what he is reporting. If something is not entirely clear to you, be sure to ask again, “Did I understand you correctly?”.

These are perhaps the most basic rules that will help make communication with completely different people and in various areas of life more effective, and therefore more harmonious and productive. Communication is an integral part of our life. We communicate constantly, even when we are silent (through our gestures, movements, facial expressions). So let communication become even more effective!

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