Cool phrases about the army. Army jokes
Card file of proverbs about the Army.
Unique educational effect of proverbs about the army
Proverb about the army as a genre folk art, has been around for a long time. This type of creativity exists in all cultures and peoples. Long time proverbs about the army have been passed down from generation to generation.
The proverbs about armies collect a wealth of everyday experience accumulated by our ancestors. The structure of this unusual saying usually consists of 2-3 parts separated by meaning. One part describes an object or phenomenon, and the second reflects the opinion or result of certain actions. People invest deep meaning in the proverbs about armies. They allow you to convey an accurate attitude to a place, situation or person. It is this kind of creativity that prompts us to think and perhaps even unravel some special meaning. Frequently used phrases from Everyday life, literary works, cinema.
Proverbs about the Army
Perhaps, I suppose, give it up at the front.
The machine gun and the shovel are the soldier's friends.
Hit the enemy with a rifle, hit and dexterity.
Fight loves courage.
Fight is a sacred thing, go to the enemy boldly.
The former glory of the battle cannot be won.
Without a head - not a warrior, but ran, and you can return.
You cannot take a fortress without courage.
Beat the enemy, do not spare the batog.
Fight is red with courage, and friend with friendship.
Painfully wounded - and the head was not found.
To visit the battle - to find out the price of life.
He sees Moscow with a fascist eye, but it doesn’t have a tooth.
The enemy is near - hit with the butt.
The enemy wanted to feast, but he had to grieve.
You can't drown your enemy in tears.
Yesterday's glory does not live on in war.
To be a governor, not to live without honey.
In a fight, a rich person protects, and a poor one - a caftan.
War loves blood.
War and fire are no jokes.
War is good to hear, but hard to see.
Enmity does no good.
Into nekrutchinu - that into the grave.
To fight is not to grieve, and to grieve is not to fight.
There are three ills in our volost: lack of brutality, taxes, and zemstvo.
There is no sense in our regiment: whoever got up earlier and took a stick is a corporal.
They beat me in the back, like forging a strip.
I serve faithfully - I do not grieve for anything.
Merry grief - soldier's life.
He fought young, and when he was old they let him go home.
Warrior: sits under a bush and howls.
The general of a shattered army is better off not talking about battles.
The guards mortar will find the enemy everywhere.
Where the goat has passed, there the soldier will pass.
Wherever the soldier lived, he bred there.
Where it is cramped, there is a place for a soldier.
The enemy is formidable just around the corner, and even more formidable behind.
God grant him to be a colonel, but not in our regiment.
God grant that it was drunk and eaten, and the service did not come to mind.
Track together, half tobacco.
For Soviet soldier the border is holy.
To Moscow by tanks, and from Moscow by sledges.
Keep your gunpowder dry - you will be invincible.
To stand together for peace - there will be no war.
If he is tailored in Russian, and there is one soldier in the field.
If you want peace, be ready for war.
One soldier leads ten mouths.
I would have fought, but lost the squeak.
The fool is a fool - and he will give his father to the soldiers.
Living in peace, do not forget about the war.
Stand over your edge to death.
With knowledge you will get thousands of swords, but you cannot get knowledge with the sword.
For a long time in the next world they receive provisions for him.
For a soldier - write wasted.
Know the knot, die crouching!
You go to hunt a fox - grab a weapon for a lion.
From the bow - not we, from the squeak - not we; but to grin your teeth, scratch your tongue - you can't find us against us.
To some, service is a mother, to others a stepmother.
To us with guns, and from us with clubs.
What the regiment is, that is what it is about.
Soup is boiling - a pot is a friend, a knock-break is a pot is an enemy.
The one who skillfully owns the weapon will overcome the enemies.
The one who is brave and staunch is worth ten.
Those who serve honestly are friends with those.
A Cossack without a horse is like a soldier without a gun.
If the bayonet is not enough, then we will give the butt.
He who serves is grieving; and whoever yells sings songs.
To whom the world is inexpensive, that is our enemy.
It's easy to hear about a warrior, but it's hard (yes, scary) to see him.
Either the chest is in crosses, or the head is in the bushes.
Better to die in a field than in a woman's hem.
Peace is a great thing.
The world is a great man; peace is a great thing.
Worldly glory is strong (bell). The world (community) is a pillar
The world is multifaceted and it depends only on you which facet you show him and then he will turn his face to you.
The world is a wonderful place. It's worth fighting for.
We will fight for peace in such a way that there will be no stone unturned.
Glory runs to the hero.
They fight not by force, but by skill.
Do not draw your saber to kill the mosquito.
You cannot forcefully drag a dog to hunt.
It is not surprising to cut off your head - it is difficult to put it on.
Do not swords of arrows that you cannot repel.
Don't make your enemy a sheep, make him a wolf.
There is no need to swing a knife at a flea.
Do not say that you are strong - you will run into a stronger one.
If you do not trust, they beat you and if you turn over, they beat you.
Children are not born to die.
In war, the army is strong as a voivode.
You will not be a dead man - you will be a colonel.
If you miss it, they beat you, if you pull it, they beat you.
Not for the fact that they beat the soldier for stealing, but for burying the ends.
Not a bullet, but a man kills a man with a gun.
Don't make your enemy a sheep, make him a wolf.
It’s worthless for a soldier even without a fur coat: he walks and warms himself.
He never sniffed the gunpowder.
There is safety in numbers.
The turn lives from our gates.
Dangerous is not strong, but vindictive.
Tighten the helmet straps after winning.
Let the enemy seem to you like a mouse, but you have the power of a tiger.
After a fight, they don't wave their fists.
The right is always on the side of the victorious army.
Pull yourself together first, then fight.
A soldier who does not think to be a general is bad.
Order in the company - and the foreman is held in high esteem.
The bullet does not understand the ranks.
Before you shoot, fill your quiver with arrows.
The bullet is stupid, the bayonet is great. Strive to conquer not the world, but its knowledge.
The strong will conquer one, the knowing one - a thousand.
Having taken off their head, they do not cry for their hair.
No matter how much you serve, you will be retired.
A serviceman is like a fly: where there is a crack, there is a bed, where there is a fence, there is a yard.
Death to a Russian soldier is your brother.
The soldier is close - bow low to him.
A soldier on vacation - a shirt made of trousers.
A soldier of a wretched man, worse than a bast shoe.
The soldier is a bureaucratic man.
A soldier is not a thief (soldier good person), and his cloak is a grabber.
The soldier did not steal, but simply took.
The soldier is a cut off hunk.
The soldier is asleep, but the service is going on.
The soldier shaves with an awl, heats himself with smoke.
The soldier is neither a widow nor a husband's wife.
The soldiers' children are the father of the whole village.
Cold, but necessary, and royal service.
At its nest and the raven beats the eagle.
Get to know the enemy before he knows you.
A skilled fighter is a good fellow everywhere.
The soldier has an awl shaving, but no fur coat, so the stick heats up.
Courage is a motley victory.
If you want - fight, swear, but leave a place for the world.
A thin world is better than a good fight.
Rather than rushing about in danger, you better think about how to eliminate it.
Rather than wish your enemy death, you better wish yourself a long life.
Take care of the honor of a soldier holy.
The Russian soldier knows no obstacles.
Minesweeper makes only one mistake.
I gain my glory in battle.
Learn courage from a scout, caution from a sapper - you can never go wrong.
Strong is the one who knocks down, stronger is the one who rises.
Burn the whole light, if only I was warm.
First, find out the strength of the enemy, and then join the fight with him.
Military aphorisms
The enemy is not a cockroach - you can't kill with a slipper!
The inscription behind the orderly: The inspector is not Santa Claus - you don't know when he comes.
It's hard to learn, come to the army.
Killed the enemy - smoke. (I. V. Stalin)
The motherland is not a heifer - it does not forgive betrayal.
Shooting is not kisses - you can't practice with tomatoes!
The level of cleanliness of the toilet is an indicator of the level of purity of a soldier's soul.
Fighter, watch out so that not even a fly crawls past!
Charter - life! It is written by people, not a WORD!
Drill training - not higher mathematics, here it is necessary to think!
The army is not a Call of duty, first-aid kits do not lie on the road like that.
A tank is not a luxury, but a means of transportation to the battlefield.
Lean - the head of the clothing warehouse protects.
The head of the clothing warehouse gave - the head of the clothing warehouse and took it away.
The cartridge does not fall far from the chamber.
Fighter, remember: the hat and the head are one!
When you get a weapon, you don't click the shutter!
Lost vigilance - surrendered to the enemy!
Keep your mouth shut when eating!
The enemy does not sleep! The enemy has insomnia!
Remember, soldier, smoking outside the smoking room is like setting fire to it!
Army statuses
(44 Votes)* * *
After Little Johnny joined the army - to mow from the institute.
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In the army, boys are turned into real men ... But without the participation of women.
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Take a walk, girl, sleep well. After all, somewhere, squeezing a machine gun, you are reliably guarded by your faithful boyfriend, your soldier.
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One step forward and two steps back, no f * ck, I'm a soldier ...
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The soldier is asleep - the service is on! But the most important thing is that when a soldier runs, the service goes on anyway.
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The army is voluntary. If you want - go, if you don't want - they will take you away!
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Now that you have become a soldier, forget your civil dreams ... Kiss at night with the AUTOMATOR AND THE ELDERLY give flowers))))
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To become a good soldier, you need to give up all smart thoughts.
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Boots should be cleaned in the evening and put on a fresh head in the morning.
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Without an order, do not speak, do not ask for anything, move only at a run.
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At the military registration and enlistment office, the chief asks the conscript: - Well, 2000 bucks or the army? The conscript shows the camera and answers: - White ticket or YouTube?
Aphorisms, quotes. "," Hide ")"> Video: Video copy Aphorisms, quotes.
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The main principle in the army is that if you are not puzzled in time, you can sleep.
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how I miss those eyes !! and you know what it is. when you look through the glass of the train at your own eyes and understand that you will see them in a year! this is not a week or a month, but a year !!! whole summer, autumn, winter, spring, holidays, birthdays, every lonely morning, every lonely evening !! like damn !! for this year, others change half their lives, but for me they only fly the same.
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Beloved went to the army ((((How hard it is without him ... But I will definitely wait for you ... I love ...
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Sleep girl, sleep dear. I'm protecting you! As soon as I come to civilian life, shit you sleep with me!
Funny sayings about the army
Military education instills courage through fear.
Here you are not here - here you will quickly be unaccustomed to drinking vodka and disturbing ugliness.
On the command "Escape" comes dark time days.
The army rule: "Only those who know how to obey know how to command." It's like saying, "Only those who know how to drown can swim."
The army is people gathered in one place with a single purpose: to correct the mistakes of diplomats.
Where the deer passes, the soldier also passes.
Our army needs central heating radiators the most in winter.
Observing the battle from the side, everyone imagines himself to be a strategist.
Who runs faster than a shepherd? This is the perfume from the fire!
A bad soldier who does not want to become a corporal.
A paratrooper, like an expensive service, can fall and break.
The more a paratrooper sleeps, the less harm from him.
Funny sayings about the army
The best remedy is running in a gas mask!
He didn’t like pickled tomatoes, because his head didn’t fit into the jar, and if it did, it stung his eyes.
Comrades, it's time to recover! We haven't eaten yet!
The radio station must be in the head of the column leader.
The screams and groans of the dead were heard on the battlefield.
If a stone is thrown upwards, then, since the force of gravity acts on it, it will fall to the ground.
What if he falls into the water?
This does not concern us, they are engaged in this in the navy.
Here's what you need to do to have the correct speech impediment
Articles about sex education in the magazine "Health" contribute to the strengthening of military discipline.
From and before my marriage I did not know what a disease was: I was healthy inside and out!
When I drink sparkling water, for some reason it hits me right in the top of my head, and not in my nose.
I feel, but bad.
What interests you more: what I say, or the dead pigeon that flies over the dining room ?!
On the command "Be equal!" the kettle turns to the right.
Do not point weapons at people, even when loaded.
Girls who cannot salute, two steps forward!
Army - aphorisms, jokes, marasmus, jokes, needs.
Army
What if there is a war or some other event?
But this leads to the death of numerous victims!
And you would rather be silent, comrade cadet, your noodles on your ears have not dried yet.
And if you run out of cartridges in battle, what to do? Shoot further to mislead the enemy.
And if it's difficult, then you need to clench your teeth into a fist.
On the ground floor of our department, there are classes 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11 and so on until the 12th.
And for me, let them at least kill everyone, if only there was no war! ...
And from 17 o'clock the snow will be cleaned by the communists.
And with you I will speak YOU: I will kick it out, I’ll reprimand it, I’ll fuck you ...
Abashidze, overgrown like an elephant, hairy, like that!
The machine works like this: one, two, three - and you are gone.
The Americans used a new super-bomb to suppress the enemy's electronic weapons - and were surprised to find that microprocessors were not used in Kalashnikov assault rifles ...
Army - a dream, God forbid, still dream ...
An army without a mat is like a soldier without a machine gun.
The army, besides good, can do no harm.
Drummer! Play the anthem of the Soviet Union!
God helps not big battalions, but those who shoot better.
God created the strong and the weak, and Mr. Colt equalized their chances
God created sleep and silence, and the devil - rise and foreman.
A combat sheet should be a combat sheet, because this is a combat sheet.
The fighter was young and inexperienced. He hesitated, two fingers chopped off his bread slicer. It's a pity, he was so in new uniforms and was commissioned ...
The fighter must salute every tree, starting with me.
Combat is the only means of achieving victory in combat.
For the fighter of the invisible front - an invisible hero star!
There were guard dogs there. We looked, talked - they turned out to be ordinary dogs.
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Army. army humor, aphorisms army jokes
And here are collected pearls of army humor, some from the Internet and literature, and some from personal combat experience
Those who served in the army do not laugh in the circus!
We drag the round, we roll the square ...
We do not need any enemy at all, we will defend ourselves and die.
You have called the call center of the recruiting assembly point: if you want to serve in the army, press the star, if you don’t want to, press the hash.
The soldier is asleep, the service is in progress.
The life of a soldier is a struggle. Before lunch - with hunger, after dinner - with sleep.
The more oak trees in the army, the stronger our defense.
Sleep is the only occupation that a soldier takes seriously.
A smoke break shortens not only life, but also service.
In the army, they don't swear, they talk.
They typed for health, but they ask how smart!
Vodka is the enemy. A soldier is not afraid of enemies and destroys.
Boots need to be cleaned in the evening in order to put them on with a fresh head in the morning!
In case of anxiety, the pants should be put on a stool with a fly towards the exit ...
Frost and sun, a wonderful day. Once Pushkin wrote. It is clear from these words at once. Curly-haired army did not know.
They don't steal or lose in the army - they do # in the army ...
One is not a warrior in the field, the orderly said and went to sleep.
New statuses about the army for guys and girls. cool and funny, and sad statuses about the army for classmates, VKontakte, ICQ and an agent.
Young people go to the army to gain courage, life experience and pay back their debt to the Motherland. But many refuse to join the army, taking it as an introduction into their personal life, a call to do something against the will of a person. Therefore, many by all possible ways are trying to steer away from service in the armed forces of their country. Many servicemen are waiting for their beloved girls, they remain faithful to their loved ones throughout the entire period, while their young people run in formation and live in barracks. Undoubtedly, the soldier is also waiting for his best friends, coming for demobilization best friend- it is always a big holiday, which lasts not for one day, but for at least a week or even a month. While serving in the army, a soldier learns a lot, rethinks a lot in life and, already upon coming home, he is a completely different person, with certain values and life priorities... After the army, the road to life is open to you, easier work, because they treat you with respect and know that you have only serious intentions.
Army statuses
When many go to the army, they put funny statuses on their page, addressed to friends, girlfriend, or all together. This status can no longer be changed throughout the entire service life, or until vacation. However, on the wall of such users throughout their entire service life appear
Do not judge strictly if I repeat something from the above.How to get rid of the army at the medical examination ::They don't treat in the army, they don't allow to die in the army ...
Everything in the army is ugly, but monotonous!
In the army there is no "cp * zdili". There is only "pro * ball"
The soldier sleeps - the service goes on, the soldier goes - the service goes on, the soldier runs, but the service goes on anyway ...
It is in the military registration and enlistment office you need to be sick, but it is better to go to the army healthy
Everything is possible in the army, if without pale
Two drunken spirits of the Railroad Forces are stronger than the Airborne Forces company.
In the army, they don't use foul language, they speak it.
The soldier is not cold, the soldier is fresh.
The brake is in the company - the company is in a sweat.
We are * but, but we laugh - we will all the same demobilize.
Two soldiers from the construction battalion are replacing the excavator. ZHDV only one spirit replaces these two.
Best pill Is a stool.
The sergeant's goal is to fuck, the soldier's goal is to fuck.
Those who do not smoke or drink, do not use foul language, they will not get into the railway station, even if they do not try.
The soldier has three holidays: lunch, lights out and demobilization.
Initiative * initiator's beta.
Conscience is a luxury, and soldiers are poor people
A woman gives birth to a child, and a soldier is anything!
Piss the girls on my chest, I want to give up in the Airborne Forces! The girls pissed, the girls shit ... anyway they took them to the railway ...
By the will of God and heaven, the guys serve in the Air Force. By the will of the demon rail and sleepers, I ended up in the railway service
The army is dull, like in a tank, but we need it to appreciate the whole buzz of "civilian"
If the spirit sits like a mouse, do not be alarmed - this is a trick
The less the copter knows, the better the foreman sleeps
A stool in a soldier's hand hits like a machine gun
If you retreat at a speed greater than the speed of the enemy's advance, then you can catch up with him from the rear - the Earth is round.
The army is a club of the cheerful and resourceful. Cheerful on the lip, resourceful on vacation
Dembel is not a girl, she will not pass by
Here they can call us a dog and do not give a damn about our honor, but in our hearts we will send them "f * ck!" and, as always, we will answer "yes!"
Only one who has learned three truths can become a soldier: sleeping in any position, fierce hatred of work, animal appetite
For a soldier, a holiday is like a wedding for a mare. Head in flowers and neck in soap
Not every man is a soldier, not every soldier is a man ...
Whoever was a student saw youth. Whoever was a soldier saw life ...
Do not laugh at those who are in gray overcoats, but laugh at those who did not wear them.
Once in my childhood I dreamed of wearing an overcoat and a helmet. Now I am in the army ... * ball I am in the mouth of such a fairy tale ...
Army - a dream, God forbid, still dream ...
The whole life of a soldier is a struggle. Before lunch - with hunger, after dinner - with sleep.
The soldier loves work so much that he can stare at it for hours!
It's hot in the south, ice in the north, and we are in the Railroad, we all do n * zdy!
It happens that you wake up like a bird - like a winged spring on a platoon and you want to live and work! But by breakfast it passes ...
Everyone is afraid of the Russian army, especially all the guys under 27!
I believe, brother, demobilization will come, there will be no stripes and shoulder straps, and we will whip moonshine on the hut together!
Do not argue with the foreman that the Earth is round. For * you try to align!
Colonels do not run, as in Peaceful time it causes laughter, and in the military - panic.
The day-carer should not go beyond the radius of the square of his bedside table.
Two pairs of boots, two pairs of HB and you can write DMB on the wall
Who works at night? Thieves, bl * di and those who are dressed
Ears freeze, nose freezes, after supper diarrhea, the army is a big madhouse, we live happily in it!
He does not know that love and affection, who was not in boots and a helmet
Thanks to the native army, for youth with a bald head
Wherever I was, wherever I drank, I won't forget the lads with whom I served!
Serve as a soldier, and do not be afraid that someone suddenly forgot you, friends do not forget a friend, and whoever forgot, he was not
Smoke break, lights out, lunch - better than words not in the world
Come to the recruiting office in a gray raincoat and a pointed hat, with tomato juice or with a red marker. Entering the military registration and enlistment office, start talking with horror about the knights of the apocalypse, rushing through the corridors and drawing pentagrams and incomprehensible symbols on the walls. If they start stopping, tell them that it is for their own good.
Come with a bunch of garlic around your neck, with a cross (crucifix), holy water, an aspen stake and a silver spoon. If they begin to take away, tell them that without this you will not go where.
- You will definitely feel your throat. During this process, look at the doctor in horror and in a whisper, but so that the doctor hears, start praying;
- When the optometrist begins to shine a flashlight in your eyes, hit him on the forehead with a spoon;
- Ear-throat-nose can be threatened with a stake or crucifix;
- When they begin to test your hearing (whisper numbers in your ear), spray the doctor with holy water (the water should be just holy);
- Do not remove the garlic under any pretext!
If you understand the binary code, then when they whisper numbers in your ear, translate them into a binary code (like 0010110001). You can bring a piece of paper and a pen for the account.
Twitch your limbs, this is alarming. Sometimes you can stop, wait a few seconds and burst into hellish laughter.
Portray a Satanist (Have to fork out for accessories.)
During the test, squeeze and unclench your fingers sharply. When they ask you: "What are you pulling with your hands?" - answer in a whisper: "It's not me. It's THEY!"
You can portray an attack of bloodlust. When asked why you want to serve in the army, answer: “In the army? Soldiers serve there, they are given machine guns. They can shoot from them. I also want a machine gun and shoot! Give me a machine gun !!! I want to shoot people! A-a-a-a-a-a !!! " - in this case, you can use your hands to depict a machine gun and shoot from it at the psychiatrist, or jump up and hit the psychiatrist's table with your hands, and then at the psychiatrist himself.
Shout: “I iron Man! "and start poking at yourself with a knife or pencil (shallow, into accumulations of fat, but so that there is blood). You can also start cutting your hands with a knife (the main thing is to do it sharply, then it will not hurt). During this process, you can be distracted by an ominous laugh ...
Tell the doctor: "Look how I can!" and start gnawing at your veins (just don't overdo it).
On examination, shout: “Hit me! Hit me! Ah-ah, I'll hit myself !!! " - and stick it in the jaw with all its might, for entertainment you can fly off a couple of meters or do a somersault (it's better to beat myself than go to serve for a year).
Glue a computer mouse to your hand (say grown), put on glasses with a 1cm lens and talk to your doctor in C ++.
Walk around and stroke the stuffed cat, while you can whisper in her ear something like: “Nothing, they won't take us. Everything will be fine. Do not worry".
Walk around in a gnome cap and drool (a nightcap will come off).
If the recruiting office is not far from home - come in a fur coat on your naked body.
Wear a black leather BDSM suit under your clothes. When you come for an examination, lock the door in the office and start undressing.
When your ear, nose and throat begins to test your hearing (say numbers), blush and claim that you cannot say such vulgarities (it is better if there is more than one doctor in the office). For more effect, you can accuse him of harassment.
Bring with you a pistol from the slot machine (which is being shot at the monitor).
Claim that you are from Mars or the asteroid chain. If the doctor begins to make comments, close your eyes, start making incomprehensible movements with your hands and hum.
Bring a cable 10 meters in length with you, place one end (stick) in the area of the ass, and ask the doctor to plug the other into an outlet so that you can charge.
Bring a friend and say that this is your imaginary friend, and let him pretend that no one sees him and advises loudly out loud, for example: "Come on, kill them!". If the doctor starts to grab him or ask about something, pretend to be surprised and say: "He is different!"
Bring two acquaintances. One should wear white sheets, sandals and wear a harp. Second to black leather jacket, boots and walking with a whip (ideally try to get a halo and horns). Let them walk behind and whisper in your ear.
- One must whisper "Go, do everything right, go through all the checks and serve for the good of the homeland";
- Let the second one say: “Kill them all! You don't need them, service for fools! "
Come to the examination with popcorn and Coca-Cola, sit in front of the doctor, look him in the eyes and silently eat the popcorn, pretending to be watching a movie. Don't answer questions. You can scream "movie sucks" and throw popcorn at the doctor. If he grabs you, be surprised (but don't resist) and say “WOW! What special effects! "
Option 2: Sit on a chair so that you look at the door, chew popcorn, sometimes blow bubbles in a cola. When the doctor says something to you, hiss irritably at him and make the remarks: “Shhhh! Don't bother watching! "
When the doctor writes a certificate, go out the window (before that, make sure it is a low floor or ask your friends to put a mattress underneath).
Come in the form of a fan, with a scarf, a pipe. See the conscripts in the office with joyful shouts and slogans. In general, portray an ardent fan.
Rent a knight's armor and a sword, rush to the doctor and tell him that you are ready to serve in the name of the king.
Option 2: Find a Space Marine outfit and declare that you are ready to give your life for the emperor.
Bring "Death Note" with you and, gazing intently into the doctor's face, ask his name.
Come in a torn gray robe, climb on the table and start reading psalms in an unfamiliar language in an afterlife voice.
Dress in a prison uniform, put on handcuffs and go into the office with the words "Hey, doc, let's go fast, they let me go for a couple of hours."
At the physical examination, when asked to undress, tie a towel around your waist, put on sandals, dark glasses, a brimmed hat, a rubber circle, take a washcloth and go out in front of the doctors. In response to surprised looks, ask: "What are you wearing?"
While the doctor is writing something, you can walk around the office and talk to the walls about the weather ...
You can even fight with one.
Cover yourself with shoe polish and blame the doctor for political incorrectness. Claim that you are a Negro and if the doctor says anything about your kind, accuse him of racism.
Glue big headphones to your ears, ask everyone again and say that you don't hear anything.
Walk around and weep for money. Hide in your pants small coins so that when walking they ring and constantly get enough sleep.
After the examination, ask: “Did I pass for sure? Well, then I'll fly away ... "- stick fireworks in your ass and set it on fire.
Enter the office in boots, military uniform, cap, with the AK47 model and shout: "I'm ready!"
Calmly enter the office, look at the doctor, freeze, pretend to be surprised, without taking your eyes off the doctor, get mobile phone, call and say: "I found him" (For effect, you can lock the front door).
Buy the Sailor Moon cosplay set and bring the doctors retribution in the name of the moon.
Come with system unit behind the back, leggings from keyboards, a cape from CDs, headphones, holding a mouse in each hand (you can wrap yourself with wires).
Pretend to be a vampire: buy red lenses, false fangs. On examination, constantly hiss and, look for a victim, occasionally drink a strange red liquid from a five-liter can.
While the doctor is writing the certificate - as if by chance, take out the machete and start sharpening it (whistle "gop-stop").
Bring the whole family for a visit. From mom and dad to cousins and cousins.
Bring a box of dynamite (you can paint the cardboard from under toilet paper). Say that you always carry it with you. You can leave him in the office before leaving.
When the doctor writes the certificate, smile, point to the next wall and say that he was filmed by a hidden camera.
Come in a business suit with a diplomat, sit in front of the doctor, put a notebook, a pen, a folder with documents, a bottle of water on the table and tell them that you are ready to start the conference.
Moan, make obscene sounds. You can pretend to have an orgasm.
Sit in front of the doctor, light a cigar, put your feet on the table and say, "Well, here we are."
When the doctor asks to undress, convince him that there is nothing interesting there, take out the dildo in front of him (the main thing is that it looks similar) and tell him that you wear it separately.
Fall asleep every 10 seconds. When you start to wake up, pretend that you do not remember anything.
Sayings and proverbs about the army begin to interest most of our fellow citizens only at a certain time. When the time for urgent service is right. This does not apply to career officers 🙂 But this is only now the case. But p Earlier, every second boy dreamed that when he grows up he will be either an astronaut or a soldier. Its influence on the formation of such a worldview was exerted by patriotic education, which began back in younger groups kindergarten. I still remember all the poems about the Soviet Army that I taught in kindergarten... And we were also introduced to proverbs and sayings about the army.
Proverbs about the army
An army without a commander is like a tiger without a head.
Perhaps, I suppose, give it up at the front.
The machine gun and the shovel are the soldier's friends.
Army youth - you will not find it more fun.
You cannot take a fortress without courage.
Without knowledge - not a builder, without weapons - not a warrior.
You will be vigilant - you will achieve victory.
The battle is red with courage, and the soldier with friendship.
The enemy is near - hit with the butt.
In battle, you need ingenuity, courage and hardening.
In battle, an order is a holy law, it is dearer than life.
All ranks before the charter are equal.
In the banner - your honor, in the weapon - glory.
There are few words in the order, but they are pronounced strictly.
To visit the battle - to find out the price of life.
Fight not by number, but by skill.
Think with your head, and fight by force.
Where there is courage, there is victory.
The guards mortar will find the enemy everywhere.
The general of a shattered army is better off not talking about battles.
It is the duty of a soldier to observe sacred discipline.
For the Russian soldier, the border is sacred.
Two deaths cannot happen, and one cannot be avoided.
Keep your gunpowder dry - you will be invincible.
Friendship is friendship, but service is service.
Friends are known in battle.
If the army is strong, the country is invincible.
It is a great honor to carry the banner.
Stand over your edge to death.
Those who serve honestly are friends with those.
The one who skillfully owns the weapon will overcome the enemies.
What is the regiment, such is the meaning of it.
The one who is brave and steadfast is worth ten.
Either the chest is in crosses, or the head is in the bushes.
New boots are always tight.
They fight not by force, but by skill.
Not every officer has a uniform to his face.
Our army is not alone: the whole country is with it.
Don't lose your courage - not a step back!
If you cannot protect your hearth, the enemy will take over.
The hero is not famous by birth, but by exploit.
Our army is ready to defeat any enemy.
Our fighter is loved by the people: he is a brother and a son to everyone.
Today - a tractor driver in the field, and tomorrow - a tanker in the army.
Do not swords of arrows that you cannot repel.
Do not be brave on the stove, and do not be afraid in the field.
I don’t worry about home - I serve in the Red Army.
To one service is a mother, and to another - a stepmother.
From dawn to dawn - sailors on watch.
An officer is an example of valor.
The officer is in difficulty ahead, and at rest - behind.
The bullet protects, but the helmet protects.
The order is holy. Without discipline, a soldier is not a soldier.
Pull yourself together first, then fight.
Order in the company - and the foreman is held in high esteem.
They will call - we will not bother, but we will serve the homeland.
A gun and a knapsack - not a thrust, but wings.
The Russian fighter is a model for everyone.
The Russian soldier knows no obstacles.
A daring maneuver brings victory.
The soldier is asleep, but the service is going on.
To carry out service is not to weave sandals.
The glory of the Russian bayonet will not fade over the centuries.
The soldier will not throw honor, even though the little head will perish.
It's hard to learn, easy to fight.
Please the commander with faithful service, not crooked friendship.
The scout has a cunning mind, sharp eyes, excellent hearing and hunting scent.
Get to know the enemy before he knows you.
The one who serves the first year laughs well.
The honor of the uniform is sacred for the commander.
To beat the enemy, you need to strengthen your strength.
Army Sayings
You can't drown your enemy in tears.
Yesterday's glory does not live on in war.
Merry grief - soldier's life.
Go straight, look bravo.
The forehead was shaved.
Glory runs to the hero.
There is no need to swing a knife at a flea.
He did not smell gunpowder.
There is safety in numbers.
They gave it under the red hat.
They gave it to the drum.
After a fight, they don't wave their fists.
The bullet is a fool, the bayonet is great.
The bullet does not understand the ranks.
Having taken off their head, they do not cry for their hair.
Of course, army sayings are distinguished by their peculiar humor. But children, and especially boys, must be introduced to military service and told about different troops. Boys from childhood must be brought up physically strong and enduring. That they do not belong to army service as to rock, but when they grew up, they were ready to pay back their debt to their homeland. And this collection of proverbs about the army will help parents in this.
By the way, they will also help to bring up this necessary feeling in boys. They carry out almost the same mission and - no matter how many of them you read, they always fascinate and captivate.
