How to let go forever a person or a situation that has been tormenting for years. Understanding what is happening to you will help to let go of the situation.

A person who is trying to figure out how to distract himself from the constant thoughts of a problem must realize that it does not matter how old it is or how large-scale it is. If the situation is troubling and does not leave you alone, therefore, it makes sense.

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The one who lives with memories, does not let go of past relationships, betrayal, old resentment, will not be able to find new friends, find harmony with loved ones and open his heart to meet with his soul mate.

How to be in a difficult situation

To start anew living a fulfilling life and let go of oppressive feelings, you must:

1. Analyze the problem. Reflect on what exactly it is causing emotions and what will change if you release it. Find options on how to move on without your burdens and what will help make your life even better.
2. Write about the situation on a piece of paper and destroy it. it effective method free yourself from your negative thoughts and sort out the situation for yourself. It is enough to write out all your aggravating feelings or write a letter to a specific person, and then make an airplane out of it and release it or simply burn it.
3. Learn to value and value your own life. In order to get rid of problem situation, you need to occupy yourself and be distracted. Life goes by very quickly, so you should not waste your time on sadness and despondency. It has a lot of interesting things: you can start learning new language, find yourself fascinating hobby, make new friends, go on a journey, do self-improvement and get better. If a girl does not manage to have a child for a long time, it is necessary to switch to some interesting hobby and let go of the situation so as not to think about pregnancy.

It is important to learn to give love and attention to others. Family members, friends, colleagues will be happy to feel support and help. Giving others care, warmth and love, a person not only gets distracted from his problems, but also develops independence, feeling dignity and gets great joy.

How to forgive an insult and let go

How to let go of a loved one

Learning to let go means stopping holding a person in his thoughts, controlling him and owning his emotions so that they do not depend on his actions.

The main cause of negative reactions is the perception of the situation, not the problem itself or the person. Therefore, it is important to learn how to clear your mind and be able to relax.

To let go of the problem in a relationship with a man, psychologists recommend:

1. Realize that despite our expectations, a person will act according to his understanding and desire. He is not responsible for a woman's anger, discouragement, frustration, and depression. You cannot make a person feel the desired feelings. You can endure everything if you put yourself in the shoes of a man and try to understand the motives of his behavior.
2. Understand that a person's reaction to a problem has several options, and everyone chooses what emotion to experience. There is a difference between the fact that we were offended, insulted and the fact that we were offended and offended.
3. Don't try to deal with feelings. Any wound, including a mental one, takes time to heal. If emotions do not interfere with work and household chores, then you can choose the time and then allow yourself to throw everything out and cry.
4. Do not harass yourself, forcing to throw a person out of the heart. Until a certain period of time has passed, the process of “loss” has not been completed, it is pointless to struggle with feelings. You can allow yourself to mentally stay with your beloved a little longer.
5. Understand to whom more love: yourself or a man. If a woman loves a man more, then she can suffer for him until the end of her life. If she loves herself, she will indulge herself in pleasant little things and find interesting hobbies. Confident and won't allow a man's reaction to affect her inner world taking away the joy.
6. Simulate a conversation. When it is very difficult to part with the past, you can imagine the person who hurt you and tell him about your experiences and why now it is difficult to forget everything. At the end of the conversation, you must definitely ask him for forgiveness, even if only one side is to blame, and wish him a happy future life.
7. Forgive, thank and dream. It is easier to relate to the situation, to find peace of mind and you can forgive a person through prayer. God is able to give incredibly powerful strength to help you cope with adversity. Omitting your beloved, it is important to forgive him and find moments for which you can say "Thank you."

One of the popular ways to say goodbye to the past is reality transurfing. This is a course of study based on the following principles:

live as the soul desires;
not succumb to those who impose other people's goals;
not to fight with everyone, but to use correctly what life has to offer;
not to be afraid, not to doubt, but to act;
instead of overly worrying, you need to find the purpose for which this person is needed.

The simplest truth is that nothing is eternal on earth. The appearance and departure of people are natural and inevitable processes. Looking at separation from this side, it will be much easier to forget the person. Better to accept the breakup and thank the man for life lesson... And if this is your person, then he will not disappear for a long time.

We were constantly taught: “Think with your head! Are you aware of what you are doing? Explain your action to me! Learn the lessons, only the mind can achieve something in life

Let go of the situation: accept the "deviation" from your script!

The existence of flows in the course of variants frees the mind from two overwhelming loads:

the need to rationally solve problems
constantly monitor the situation.

Of course, on condition that he allows himself to be set free.

The two aforementioned loads have been hung on the mind since childhood.

We were constantly taught: “Think with your head! Are you aware of what you are doing? Explain your action to me! Learn the lessons, only the mind can achieve something in life. Your stupid head! Are you going to think or not? " Educators and circumstances blinded a “soldier” out of the mind, ready at any moment to find an explanation, to give an answer to the question posed, to assess the situation, to make a decision, to keep control over what was happening. The mind is trained to act expediently from the point of view of common sense.

Just don’t think that I’m so overstated that I’m ready to completely brush aside common sense. On the contrary, common sense is minimal. the necessary set rules on how to behave in the world around you in order to survive. Here is just a mistake of reason is that he follows this code of rules literally and too bluntly. An obsession with common sense prevents the mind from looking around and seeing what does not agree with these rules.

And there are a lot of discrepancies with common sense in the world. Confirmation of this is the inability of the mind to explain everything and save a person from problems and troubles. There is a very simple way out of this situation: rely on the flow of options. The rationale for this is also very simple: the flows contain exactly what the mind is looking for - expediency.

As you know, flows follow the path of least resistance.

The mind also tends to reason sensibly and logically, relying on causal relationships. But imperfection of reason does not allow him to accurately navigate in the world around him and find the only correct solutions.

Nature is initially perfect, therefore there is more purposefulness and logic in streams than in the wisest reasoning. And no matter how convinced the mind is that it thinks sensibly, it will still make mistakes. However, the mind will make mistakes in any case, but there will be much fewer of them if it moderates its zeal and, if possible, allows problems to be resolved without its active intervention.

You already know that putting pressure on the world is not only useless, but also harmful. By disagreeing with the flow, the mind creates excess potentials. Transurfing offers a completely different path. First, we create obstacles ourselves, pumping excess potentials. If you reduce the importance, the obstacles will be removed by themselves. Secondly, if the obstacle does not lend itself, one must not fight with it, but simply bypass it. This will help guide signs.

The trouble with the mind is that it tends to perceive events that do not fit into its scenario as obstacles. The mind usually plans everything in advance, calculates, and if the unexpected happens later, he begins to actively fight against it in order to adjust the events to his scenario.

As a result, the situation is further aggravated. Of course, the mind is not able to perfectly plan events. This is where you need to give more freedom to the flow. The current is not interested in breaking your destiny. This, again, is impractical. Fate breaks the mind with its unreasonable actions.

Think for yourself: when are people happy, satisfied, satisfied with themselves? When everything goes according to plan. Any deviation from the script is perceived as a failure.

Inner importance prevents the mind from accepting the possibility of rejection. The mind thinks: “After all, I planned everything in advance, calculated it. I know better what is good for me and what is bad. I am intelligent. " Life often gives people gifts that they are reluctant to accept because they did not plan them. "I didn't want such a toy!"

The reality is that we rarely get exactly the planned toys, which is why we all go around so gloomy and displeased. Now imagine how much more joyful life will become if the mind will downgrade its importance and recognize the right to the existence of deviations in the script!

Everyone can regulate the level of their own happiness. The lower bar of this level is very high for most people, so they do not consider themselves happy. I do not urge you to be content with what you have. A dubious formula like “if you want to be happy - be happy” is not suitable for Transurfing. You will receive your toy, but we'll talk about that later. Now it comes on how to avoid troubles and reduce the number of problems.

It is the reluctance of the mind to allow deviations in its script that prevents it from taking advantage ready-made solutions in a stream of options flow. The manic tendency of the mind to keep everything under control turns life into a continuous struggle with the flow. How, how can he allow the flow to go on its own course, not obeying his will? This is where we come to the most important mistake of the mind.

The mind seeks to control not its own movement with the flow, but the flow itself. This is one of the main reasons for all kinds of problems and troubles.

An expedient stream moving along the path of least resistance cannot create problems and obstacles - they are generated by a stupid mind. Activate the Overseer and observe, for at least one day, how your mind tries to control the flow:

You are offered something, but you refuse;
They are trying to tell you something, but you brush it off;
Someone expresses their point of view, and you argue;
Someone does it in their own way, and you instruct him on the right path;
You are offered a solution and you object;
You wait for one thing, but you get another and express dissatisfaction;
Someone bothers you, and you are furious;
Something goes against your script, and you rush into a frontal attack to direct the current in the right direction.

Maybe for you personally, everything happens a little differently, but there is still some truth. Right?

Now try to loosen your grip on your control and give more freedom to the flow. I am not suggesting that you agree with everyone and accept everything. Just change tactics: shift your center of gravity from control to observation. Strive to observe rather than control. Do not rush to dismiss, object, argue, prove your own, interfere, manage, criticize.

Give the situation a chance to resolve without your active intervention or opposition. You will be, if not dumbfounded, then surprised for sure. And a completely paradoxical thing will happen. By giving up control, you gain even more control over the situation than you had before.

An outside observer always has a greater advantage than a direct participant. This is why I keep repeating: rent yourself out.

When you look back, you will be convinced that your control was going against the tide. Others' suggestions made sense. There was no point in arguing. Your intervention was unnecessary. What you saw as obstacles were not at all. Problems are already being resolved safely without your knowledge. What you didn’t get as planned is not so bad at all. Accidentally dropped phrases really do have power. Your mental discomfort served as a warning. You have not wasted extra energy and you are satisfied. This is precisely that luxurious gift of the current to the mind, which I spoke about at the beginning.

And of course, in addition to all that has been said, let us recall our "friends". Pendulums interfere with movement in accordance with the flow. At every step they arrange provocations for a person, forcing him to pound his hands on the water. The presence of a flow in the flow does not suit the pendulums for the simple reason that the flow goes in the direction of minimum energy consumption. The energy spent by a person to fight the current is used to create excess potentials and to feed the pendulums. The only control worth paying attention to is controlling the level of internal and external importance. Remember that it is the importance that prevents the mind from letting go of the situation.

In many cases, letting go of the situation is much more effective and useful than insisting on your own. The desire of people for self-affirmation since childhood generates a habit of proving its worth. Hence comes a tendency, harmful in all respects, to prove one’s innocence at all costs. This desire creates excess potential and conflicts with the interests of other people. Often people try to prove their case even in cases where the verdict in one direction or the other does not directly affect their interests.

For some people, the feeling of inner importance is so exaggerated that they tend to insist on their own in any trifles. Internal importance grows into a mania to keep everything under control: "I will prove my case to everyone, no matter what it takes." Bad habit. It makes life very difficult, above all for the defender of truth himself.

If your interests are not greatly affected by this, feel free to let go of the situation and give others the right to pound their hands in the water. If you do this consciously, you will immediately feel at ease, even easier than if you proved your point of view. You will be satisfied with the fact that you have risen a step higher: you did not, as usual, defend your importance, but acted as wise parent with unreasonable children.

Let me give you one more example.

Excessive zeal at work is just as harmful as carelessness. Let's say you settled on prestigious job you have dreamed of for a long time. You make high demands on yourself, because you think that you must show yourself one hundred percent.

This is correct, but if you get down to business too zealously, then most likely you will not withstand the stress, especially if the task is difficult. V best case your job will be ineffective, and at worst you will have a nervous breakdown. You may even be led to the false belief that you cannot do the job.

Another option is possible. You develop a vigorous activity, and thereby violate the established order of things. You feel like there are many things you can improve at work, and you are absolutely confident that you are doing the right thing. However, if your innovations entail a disruption to the usual way of life of your employees, do not expect anything good. This is the case when the initiative is punishable. You are put in a slow but calm and balanced current, and you are banging your hands in the water with all your might, trying to swim faster.

Well, now it turns out that you can't say a word against, and don't stick your head out at all? Well, not really that hard. It is necessary to approach this issue from a mercantile point of view. You can only be indignant and scolded what directly interferes with you, and only if your criticism can change something for the better. Never criticize what has already happened and cannot be changed. For the rest, the principle of movement with the flow should not be applied literally, agreeing with everything and everyone, but only by moving the center of gravity from control to observation. Watch more and do not rush to control. A sense of proportion will come to you on its own, you don't have to worry about it. published by

They help the mind to relieve the burden of constant control over what is happening and an extremely rational way of solving problems.

From an early age, children are hammered into the not very fruitful idea of the possibility of achieving success solely through mental effort. The mind gets used to acting, only being guided by common sense, and it does it clumsy, awkward, unnecessarily straightforward.

It is difficult for the mind to look around and notice inconsistencies that contradict this approach. He stubbornly refuses to notice his own inability to protect people from adverse accidents.

Our mind is convinced of its own infallibility, and this is its main mistake. The world much wiser and does not waste.

It is not difficult to correct the situation: to trust the flows of the flow of options, which are subject to the laws of expediency and following by the least energy consumption.

In everyday life, it is about loosening the grip and letting go of the situation, allowing problems to be solved without intrusive outside interference.

Disagreement with the world breeds. They can be avoided by (1) systematically reducing and (2) bypassing the uncontrollable parties. In the latter case, it is useful to look closely at.

Everything that does not fit into the picture of achieving the goal drawn by the mind is automatically ranked among obstacles and is perceived with hostility, because of which the situation is only aggravated.

People are happy when plans come true. Deviations from what was planned drive them into depression. Because of its intrinsic importance, the mind refuses to accept the possibility of deviation.

And when opportunities come up, people are reluctant to accept them, because they were not planned ... We are given the wrong gifts, appointed to the wrong positions, offered the wrong ones. And every time there is a reason for.

Photo 1. The ability to let go of a situation directly depends on the ability to give up importance

The main mistake of the mind is in the desire to control the flow, which is clearly beyond its power, and not by its own movement with the flow. The stupid mind does not find rest, inventing more and more new obstacles.

At the same time, he manages to refuse practical proposals, enter into debates with everyone he meets, toothlessly reject falling solutions to problems and remain in an enduring state of discontent and aggression ...

Transurfing suggests a shift in emphasis: instead of viscous and choking control, practice calm and calm observation of the situation. Instead of stupid arguments and the desire to prove, leisurely contemplation.

Giving up control will not only not weaken, but will strengthen it. The observer is always better in control of the situation than its participants.

This is why it is important to rent yourself out. It turns out that huge number problems can be resolved without our participation, and the development of events outside the plans can be extremely useful and productive.

An added bonus is mental and energy conservation that would otherwise be destroyed in interpersonal squabbles and conflicts.

Struggle with the flow is always a waste of energy, in which you are so interested. It is they who are the main "instigators" to threshing hands on water in vain or rowing against the current.

Movement in the flows of the flow of variants is unprofitable for the pendulums, since the energy supply from this is zero.

The desire to prove that you are right to everyone you meet is often mistakenly perceived as a sign inner strength... In reality, this weakens a person, making him vulnerable to the intrigues of pendulums.

People with a painfully inflated sense of their own importance are especially zealous in verbal battles to defend their own beliefs and opinions. They have no idea that the negativity emitted in conflicts sooner or later.

Photo 2. Proving rightness usually does not lead to anything, except quarrels and scandals ...

Transurfing requires a resolute refusal from meaningless disputes and proving one's own worth. Let others pound their fists in vain on the water ...

Excessive careerism and the desire to prove themselves in official activities are just as harmful as outright slovenliness. You can easily overstrain yourself, misjudge your capabilities, and eventually fail the project. Disappointment in one's own strengths and will be provided ...

Excessive activity in the workplace breaks the established state of affairs and destroys the usual way of life of colleagues, who are unlikely to be happy with this development of events. They will certainly try to neutralize the excess potential that has fallen on their heads ...

Openly criticize only what bothers you personally, provided that thanks to it you can change the situation. Otherwise, the role of the observer will be more beneficial than the role of the controller. Measure is important in everything. Compliance is a matter of habit.

Video on how to let go of the situation:

Have you ever found yourself in a situation where a friend, “wise” by experience (or statuses from “VK”), in response to your emotional speech, told you: “Let the situation go and everything will work out ... you shouldn't keep everything under control…”? Probably many have heard this phrase at least once, but few understand what this omnipotent “let go of the situation” means and how it looks in practice.

Freedom or a sign of weakness? ...

To understand how to let go of the situation, you must first understand what it is for and why you should not try to control it.

- There is always an option to fight or to leave everything in the hands of fate. But does this mean that by letting go of the situation, we give up, give up what we want?
- Not at all!

We simply move “from the stage to the auditorium”, where we will be able to live the situation more comfortably and painlessly. It is by moving away from the details (emotions) that we gain the opportunity to look at the whole picture, to notice the right opportunity that has turned up - the right turn of fate that will lead to happiness. It's not about the momentary joy of achieving a small goal, when the mind and titanic efforts managed to drive everything into the usual or desired framework, but about the state of "full-fledged long-term happiness." Observation is not meaningless, it implies our participation and actions, but not "chaotic exhaustion", but correct from the point of view of the Universe.

Why let go of the situation?

Being in a situation, we are immersed in a desire to change something, rearrange, forge, dispute, criticize or reject right away as unacceptable. This happens due to the fact that we initially set a certain format of what we want, try to keep it under control, and all the "puzzles of circumstances" that are not included in this framework cause irritation. But these "unacceptable" disgusting circumstances are nothing more than the idea of the Universe. We all want Of true love and True Happiness, but we abandon the path that the inherently Perfect Universe leads us to this.

It turns out that dissatisfaction with the circumstances is a rejection of the Universal laws and dissatisfaction with the Higher Forces (everyone is free to mean by this the Universe, God, the Absolute, etc. according to their convictions). Anyone who is initially considered uninteresting, stupid and useless will treat you in a similar way, so why Higher power should ultimately lead to Happiness if there is no trust?

Letting go of the situation, not to be confused with inertia and lack of initiative, a person gets the opportunity to go through the door (or at least through the window, as the most persistent and stubborn), and not bang his head against the wall. Of course, an inner voice will demand to keep the situation under control and not let go, but it is worth taking the risk and it turns out that the world has not only not collapsed, but there may have been changes for the better.

What is the limit of experiences and anxieties?

Of course, you can immerse yourself in emotions. We do not test them in vain. And each of our experiences - a litmus test in the chemistry of life - draws attention to weak points, giving us the opportunity to work on ourselves. But lingering negative emotions can knock you out of balance so much that depression sets in.

The time to let go of the situation has come when:

thoughts revolve around a certain point, causing negative emotions
there is no more strength, but there is an obsessive need to do something
general condition is restless and interferes with living and enjoying life

This means your inner "susanin" -mind has brought you into the "swampy forest" and is not going to help you get out. It is precisely such cases that require you to immediately let go of the situation and stop keeping everything under your control.

How to let go of the situation

1. We switch to let go of the situation.

One of the most difficult stages is letting go of the situation when it has grown together with you. It is imperative to find something to do that will take "Susanin" in another matter, so as not to go even further into the forest. This can be anything from shopping and movie theaters to cleaning the house and washing the windows. A distracting maneuver is obliged to distract, so that during it "thinking" is strictly prohibited.

If you still can't let go of the situation, then you can begin to pronounce mentally every action that you perform in this moment... Concentrate on what is happening around: mentally describe the details, consider everything that can be counted (you can count breathing), taste and analyze your feelings, etc.

2. Determine how this frustration relates to your “global” ultimate goal.

If you went through the first step relatively well, then some freshness of brain activity is assured. Now let's take a look from the outside at the situation that you want to keep under control.

Questions to yourself are something like this:

⇒ What do I want from life in general and what does my happiness “look like”?

⇒ what is the connection between my happiness and this life episode?

⇒ Have I done everything I could in this situation?

Analyzing and considering the situation, but not diving in. It is necessary to “look” not at oneself in these circumstances, but at the essence of what is happening, what has happened or, on the contrary, has not happened. Most likely, it turns out that there is not such a strong relationship between happiness and an incident, and this is nothing more than a step, and far from the last chance.

3. Declare our willingness to let go of the situation.

“I did everything I could, and I trust myself and my future to the Universe. I let go of the situation and accept all the unexpected and unknown with gratitude. I trust my soul - it wants only the best for me! I let go of the situation with Vera in the desired or better result! "

The ability to pull back and not be in control is tied to the strength of your Faith. If the Faith in the Higher Forces is strong, it will not be difficult to let go of the situation. You need to repeat as much as necessary to consolidate the result.

Instructions

The advice to “let go of the situation” can be heard quite often. At the same time, they say: "Relax, no, let everything go on as usual." And there is a share in this, but ... If a problem is urgent for a person, it gnaws at him, everything reminds of it, and you can fall asleep and wake up for a long time with only one thought: what to do. In this case, the energy is spent more on experiences and "running in a circle", but the person cannot pull himself together, stop and simply not think. So what do they mean when they say “let go of the situation”?

Unfortunately, the level of empathy is not well developed in everyone. Saying "let go of the situation", the interlocutor from the outside may see the redundancy of your feelings, but not be able or even try to enter your state, understand its reasons, and feel your pain. By by and large, he does not care, and, perhaps, his own plans for the next dinner occupy him much more. But you?

In addition to the very incident that worries you so much, there are probably many other things, problems and events in your life. Take care of them, think about them, do not allow yourself to limp in a pool of your own fears and insecurities. Let it be even the smallest everyday tasks - do them as if nothing else matters at the moment, with full dedication.

But to dismiss the problem, of course, just won't work: long time not finding permission, she can wear you out, lead to a nervous breakdown or even insanity. If you think that you cannot cope with the situation on your own, seek help from a psychologist or psychotherapist. There is nothing shameful about it - on the contrary, now it is even considered fashionable.

If you are sure that you can understand yourself and curb your feelings, start working on yourself in this direction. Describe the situation as you see it, as well as your emotions and feelings. You can pretend to be telling all this. to a loved one who understands you. Include an inner parent who accepts you for who you are, fully supports you, and wants to help you. Tell him in color what happened, as if a child who injured his toe were complaining to mom or dad.

Next enable positive thinking and get creative with the problem. Start inventing for yourself possible options solutions to the situation, even the most fabulous ones. So your brain will be busy with business and will not be idle (and for him, oh, how difficult it is), attention will no longer be in the negative, but in a positive direction. In addition, your fantasy can play out so much that it will even amuse you or at least calm you down.