For example, because he has his own point of view. And if this person sees that there is pressure on him, and not a request, he begins to rebel.

If you have seen such a person, then you can imagine that it is difficult for him to re-educate himself. And all third-party attempts to remake it - do not bring any success.

Teamwork ===

Work is a special place when the final result of the work depends on the activities of the whole team. This is especially evident in business. When everyone receives something, then he does something with it and transfers it to another worker.

It's like on a conveyor belt. Let's say this is a factory. And you work in the sales department already finished products... It depends on you whether what the plant manufactures will be sold, whether the workers of the plant (turners, security guards, storekeepers, drivers, technicians, ...) will receive the salary they expected on time.

External manifestations of the "absence" of an employee at his post ===

It happens that some employee falls out of the general rhythm of the team. Take a look around. Take a close look at those in your group keeping aloof. He does not show initiative. There is no interest in his eyes. Speaks monotonously only when asked to say something. In the workplace, he is often distracted from his duties.

Even if this person could do a lot, even when he needs a lot of money, he will not be able to force himself to turn on at full power.

You can expect anything from such a person, even the fact that he will give up everything and leave his workplace. It doesn't matter if he works as a lathe operator, as a security guard, or even as a shop manager. Fortunately, the legislation allows the employee to drop everything and leave in the middle of the working day. He will not incur any material and, moreover, criminal liability. Except for some professions, such as a doctor or firefighter.

How the world of obedience works

Suppose this happened to you. You have no interest in work. When your well-being depends only on you. Because even if you force yourself to go to this job by force, the time will come when you will be replaced by another worker.

And this will not happen because your boss will change, or he will begin to treat you worse. You keep going to work. Just every year requirements to productivity in the workplace are getting tougher. Productivity is the amount of product produced in your workplace. For a turner, this is the number of Parts delivered to the warehouse. For an employee of the sales department - the number of received and paid Orders from customers. More and more activities are required from the worker to be completed and fully completed at his workplace.

And this presupposes an increase in labor productivity. Illustrative example accounting work. Where up to 10 accountants worked 20 years ago, today only one or two do it! Where 20 employees of the sales department worked - 2–3 remained.

What should you do?

If you are not lucky at this workplace. You do not like the very idea of ​​getting up in the morning and going to this hard labor ... Change your boss, or become a boss yourself. Why spoil the nerves for yourself and people? It is not your boss's fault that you have such a character.

But, with subordinates you will have to train yourself to communicate. You may need to take training in "resolving communication problems."

In any case, there are no hopeless situations. The people inhabiting the Earth before us have already gone through all this and left us the rules of normal communication.

Almost any situation is solvable with a successful coach.

Is it possible to become a coach for yourself

We know many cases when a person performed surgery on his own body. They like to show this in action-packed films. Although today, even a GP is forbidden to sew up small wounds. He is obliged to call an ambulance and apply a bandage.

Of course, the training specialists will tell you that you cannot bring yourself into working order yourself, you need a specialist in psycho-training.

However, if you really want to, although you can't, then you can do it. And here are some tips - how?

1. The same books can be read in different ways. You can go over the whole book with your eyes and say - okay, I understood everything. Or feel that nothing is clear and discard this book.
2. The next thing is to observe the work successful people, the result in the work of which you would like to achieve yourself. For example, you saw how quickly a manager approves the work plan of his subordinates for the week. It's not a sin to ask what allows you to quickly sign a work plan.
3. All successful, passionate people love to count, write down the results. If a person is strongly turned on or hurt, he will keep records. The athlete has a diary of achievements. A person with high blood pressure will regularly measure and record a pressure reading. Create your own system for recording income receipts by day and week. Get yourself or your accountant to do this without missing a beat.

Conclusions and Decision Making on Credentials

If you see that, according to your credentials, your interlocutors have begun to listen to you more attentively, for example, the average amount of time you watch your videos has increased from 3 minutes to 5, then you are going in the right direction.

If your income has fallen, quickly find the source of the falling income. Do not listen to those who talk about the economic crisis.

The crisis is for the bad employees to go broke, and the good ones take away the bad customers and increase the number of customers and paid orders.

“I am a strong personality and it’s not easy with me”, “It’s hard for me to please”, “I’m used to everything happening my way”. These are phrases of capricious girls, spoiled by parental or male attention, who consider themselves the center of the universe. They are used to dominating weak, dependent men, or simply have an extremely flighty, quarrelsome character. They are very conflicted, and they throw up a scandal or demonstrate resentment over any trifles. They demand complete obedience from men, and when they achieve this, they immediately stop perceiving him as a man. Often they either do not have friends at all, or they have one, over which they also dominate and which they merge all their negativity. Anyone who finds himself next to such a girl should immediately see not only her greatness and perfection, but also realize his own worthlessness.

The girl immediately warns you that she will break you on the knee and try to put you in a dependent position, and that she has a difficult, conflicting nature. There really is such a thing, as well as the mass of complexes that make her prove to herself and those around her that she is a queen, and men are rubbish.

He has a dual attitude towards firm, self-confident men. She respects them as colleagues, mentors, leaders, etc., but in personal relationships such a girl will either try to break the character of a man and turn the latter into a “rag”, or part with him with a squeal and scandal if he does not break. An example of such a girl is given in paragraph 20 of the chapter "Literature review, or twenty-one advice on how to lose a man."

Although there were cases when the girl realized that the man was still stronger and harder, after which, fearing to lose him (liked him), she stopped running around with her imaginary crown and became normal. A similar case is described in Shakespeare's play The Taming of the Shrew.

Often there is a constant mention of their own shortcomings. “I’m unpredictable,” “I’m just unbearable,” “I have a difficult character,” “It’s difficult to get along with me,” “I don’t know how to be faithful,” “when I’m right, I’m not silent,” “I’m very stubborn.” Anything from “I don’t like to come on time” to “I love spending other people's money.” Said once or twice and in a playful conversation, such phrases are a kind of coquetry, flirting, the message "take care of me" or "well, tell me that I am not like that, but a good girl." However, with regular serious repetition, they are a kind of warning, so that "you don't complain later." Very often pronounced in a confident voice, with bravado, which means “Yes, I am. And you have to come to terms with it! " The girl knows very well about her complexes, "cockroaches", eccentricity, conflict, infidelity, rudeness and other vices, but in her soul she is proud of these qualities, otherwise she would have corrected herself long ago. Because of them, I had a lot of quarrels with my former young people, and now I am immediately inclined to talk about my vices, so that later I can justify myself “And I told you everything right away, no one forced you to continue relations with me” or “and no one promised it would be easy. " Such girls do not know how to restrain themselves, and they do not consider it necessary. They were not taught to compromise with a young man either. Some girls sincerely consider themselves so irresistible that others, in their opinion, should swallow all the nastiness that the "princesses" do to them. By the way, they do not differ in tolerance for other people's vices, to put it mildly.

In any case, no indication of their negative sides gives the girl the right to do nasty deeds. Remember this. And no excuses like "I warned you that it will be so" should not confuse you. If she does nasty things to you, why should you endure? In conversation, it makes sense to gently tug at the girl, for example, with the phrase “I found something to be proud of”. She will understand that you are not at all delighted with her bravado with your vices.

V rare cases girls with extremely low self-esteem and depression constantly talk about their negative sides. These are those who want to get to know a man for a long time, but for various reasons, the relationship either does not start at all, or she is abandoned after a short time. Such girls can be distinguished by other signs of low self-esteem and depression: low mood, complaints about myself and to those around him, to his misfortunes, the inability to maintain any other conversation, except about his failures (when the topic changes, it slips back to “beloved”). In this case, self-blame is nothing more than a sign of depression. If you have a kind, sympathetic character and are not afraid of constant complaints, bad mood, outbursts of irritability over trifles, then you have a chance to help a person, and it is possible that you will become a savior for her and win her love and devotion.

Bad traits character poison the life of not only loved ones, but also the very owner. After all, if your own character brings problems one after another, then it is difficult to love yourself. Because of this, self-esteem falls and a lot of related problems arise. In this case, it is difficult to find a more logical way out, how to correct the bad character. It is not very easy, but with regular self-control it is possible.

So what bad character traits can and should be corrected?

Unjustifiably overestimated self-conceit, narcissism

Loving yourself is very important, but it’s important not to flaunt it. Self-love is like underwear: it should be chic, but no one is wearing it for show. If you honestly consider yourself smarter than others and make it clear, soon there will be no one left in your environment. Can a bad character be corrected? Easily. Tell yourself every day that everyone is entitled to their opinion and respect on your part.

Rudeness, irascibility, hysteria

The inability to control your own emotions and the habit of throwing them out on other people is the worst character trait. It is because of this that families break up, and children grow up with a damaged psyche. In order to control yourself, you can mentally count to 10, drink a glass of water before continuing to speak or taking time out. Learn to vent your emotions elsewhere: go to the gym or go jogging.

The habit of lying, embellishing situations, not admitting your mistakes

In the list of bad character traits of a person, lies will always be present in leading positions. Why do people lie? To seem better, to hide their flaws, so as not to receive the punishment they deserve. In general, a lie is a manifestation of banal cowardice of character. Learn to take responsibility for your actions, words and behavior, and the need to lie will go away by itself. If your words cannot be trusted, then they are empty. And if you say empty words all the time, then you yourself are an empty person.

The habit of whining, taking offense, complaining

If you have a habit of talking about bad things all the time, then you have a bad character. In fact, it is very difficult to stay near a person who only does that in everything he sees problems and obstacles, depresses, worries about any reason. Help yourself: include bananas, dark chocolate, nuts, citrus fruits in your diet - these foods contain serotonin, the hormone of joy. Make it a rule in any difficult situation find at least three pluses - and life will change!

There are many good and bad character traits - choose for yourself only what will help you to be a happy, easy person!

Bad character makes being in the company of a person uncomfortable, uncomfortable. There is anxiety and tension around him. He does not like people, he treats them arrogantly, obsequiously. He practically never makes compromises, he can change his opinion, behavior, decision without any reason. Stubborn, likes to dominate, while not taking responsibility. After communicating with such a person, one feels fatigue and inner emptiness. There are other signs by which you can recognize people with a complex disposition.

Bad reasons

Each of the needs below is not bad in itself. But in an exaggerated form, it leaves a negative imprint on the character.

The need to have a strong partner by your side

A person refuses to take responsibility, seeks to shift it onto other people's shoulders. To do this, he chooses a husband, wife, parents, colleagues, friends. At first, the “helper” may not understand that he is being used, while he will support, help, take responsibility, a manipulator with a bad character will try on the role of a victim. This will be expressed in scenarios like this:

• I can't find a job, that's why I'm not looking;
• everyone around me does not understand, therefore I will conflict with everyone;
• I don't know how to cook (clean up, make money, etc.), so do it for me.

The need to rule over others

It is expressed in the need to dominate over everyone, to control other people's actions. A person seeks to subjugate not only people, but also situations, therefore, he always strives to take everything into his own hands. He will do everything himself, since he does not trust others, he will double-check everything. Afraid of everything that he cannot control. Uncertainty is his biggest discomfort. Spontaneity is not inherent in him. He has contempt for weak people.

The need to use and manipulate others

A difficult person may perceive others as a means of achieving their own goals. The problems of others are not interesting to him, if they refuse to help him or do not agree with him, takes it with hostility, sometimes sincerely does not understand why they refuse to indulge him. He has the art of manipulation. In case of non-receipt of benefits, counts the time spent with the person wasted.

The need for constant approval

A person needs to be approved of his actions, it is important for him to please everyone. If someone remains unhappy with him, he will feel embarrassed. Praise is more important than benefits. A person can act to his detriment just to hear in his address pleasant words... He plays the role of a savior, he is often manipulated, but he refuses to admit it, believing that he is needed and he is doing a good deed. But if the praise is not received, first the person turns into a victim, starting to feel sorry for himself, and then into an accuser, making claims.

The reason for this behavior lies in low self-esteem. From hostility on their part, they can become depressed. They tend to suppress feelings, often live the way others want, not understanding their own desires.

Need for admiration, narcissism

Such people are not liked by anyone but themselves. A certain fictional image is created in their heads, according to which they are ideal. These people are narcissistic, wear a mask behind which there is nothing significant. Self-esteem is overstated. Narcissists admire themselves and constantly extol their actions, love to brag, exaggerate their importance. They are egocentric, the world should revolve around them, if you do not agree with them, you can immediately fall into the category of enemies.

The need to be the best

A person is in constant striving to be better than others. He tries to be impeccable in everything from small things to big things. This is the image of the head girl who is the best student, tries to please all teachers, to be praised, and at the same time belittles the merits of others in order to look brighter against their background. Often it comes not real accomplishments, but fictional or overblown ones.

The biggest fear is failure. Even the smallest loss is painful. More often than not, such people are workaholics, using work to polish their excellence. They absolutely do not accept criticism, it knocks them out of a rut. Vindictiveness awakens in them, a desire to humiliate others, just to regain leadership.

The need for prestige

Such people are dependent on how they look in the eyes of others. They strive to look successful, this is not always true. They are snobbish. They are brand fans, such people will spend their last money on new model iPhone and at the same time they will feed on the infusion. They communicate only with the “elite”, whom they consider significant for emphasizing their status. They treat interlocutors whose status is lower than theirs. Often suffer from self-addiction, addicted to social networks.

The need to be "invisible"

These people avoid life, are content with little. Any change for them is associated with leaving the comfort zone. They don't believe they can improve anything in their lives. Self-doubt is so developed that a person cannot even admit that he has the resources for development, but he is simply afraid to fulfill his desires. On the one hand, it is calm with them, they do not stick out their "I". But such a person will not go out into society, he will slow down the development of a friend or soul mate, stubbornly refuses any innovations and it is difficult to convince him.

Tough personality types

Bad temper can be divided into several types.

Aggressive

Main features:

• hostile attitude;
• tendency to conflict;
• manifestation of aggression;
• increased exactingness.

A person who fancies conflicts. Tries to control everything around. He says everything directly, believes that his innocence should be recognized by everyone. He sees the goal and does not see obstacles, he is ready to go over his head, if necessary. Control and power are what he values ​​more than anything else.

Exploiting

Main features:

• obsession;
• constant criticism;
• the desire to suppress the rest.

It is believed that everyone should indulge him. His needs and desires are higher than those of others. He openly manipulates people, taking advantage of acquaintances, communication. They differ from the aggressive type in that they are more plastic, think flexibly, play on other people's weaknesses. An intriguer, he likes to under-speak, to keep in the dark, uncertainty always turns in his favor.

Avoiding

Main features:

• avoids everything from responsibility to conflict;
• secretive;
• doesn't trust anyone.

A person lives in a shell, does not let anyone near him, keeps a distance in communication. He is always suspicious, does not trust even close people, expects a catch from everything and everyone. Sometimes he is cynical and aggressive, especially if someone is trying to cross his personal boundaries. It is difficult to rely on him, since it is impossible to tell what is on the mind of such a person.

In their pure form, types are extremely rare, therefore various bad traits can manifest themselves in people. Bad temper is also subjective. For example, if a person does not act in the way that another would like, his temper can be called complex. You need to understand that a complex character becomes as a result of upbringing or accumulated experience.

How to tell a bad temper from a good one

Character is the individual identity of a person, what characterizes its in basic personality traits. In the specialized literature, you can find, for example, the following phrase: "Gas with a characteristic odor." That is, this characteristic smell alone can distinguish this gas from many others. It's the same with the character of a person - he, if any, shows well distinctive features this person, as it were, "betrays" his master.

1. Character makes a person predictable. But this predictability applies only to some situations, not all. If a person does not like to lie, then he is predictable only in the fact that he will not lie (or will, but extremely reluctantly). We will not be able to foresee what exactly he will tell us. If someone is prone to verbal aggression (angry with the tongue), then we can be sure that sooner or later he will attack someone with reproaches or insults, but at whom we cannot know for sure.

People without character, on the contrary, are either completely predictable, or completely unpredictable. Predictability is a consequence of a passive life position, and unpredictability is a consequence of a "mess in the head" and (or) complete dependence on third parties. Remember this: passivity betrays in a person only a lack of character.

2. Good character or bad is largely a matter of taste. Learn yourself (as they say, at your own peril and risk) to understand people, in their characters. If you are looking for a friend or spouse, then a person with a constructive, harmonious character will suit you. But if suddenly you want to suffer, experience many unpleasant adventures, then a person with a destructive, disharmonious, selfish character is quite suitable for you.

A person who has a constructive character, is aimed, is disposed to cooperate. He is confident that both of you will benefit from cooperation. He will not oppose his interests and yours.

A person with a destructive character is constantly looking for personal gain, over and over again he makes the same mistake: "The best is the enemy of the good." He sees only his own personal benefit, as soon as he notices that he has not squeezed everything possible from the relationship with you, he “tightens the nut” of the relationship even tighter. Sooner or later, the thread breaks down in a relationship, and the egoist then looks for new friends.

If you are just starting to look closely at a person, then give him some checks(tests, so to speak). Try to find out the degree of willingness of this person to cooperate.

No wonder they say that "You can't even cook porridge with such a person." So try to start by combining efforts to cook something: cook borscht together, stick dumplings, etc. If a person calmly and judiciously gets down to business and completes it, this is one thing. If he starts fiddling around, constantly twisting himself, looking for personal gain, putting unpleasant work on you, showing off, blaming you, that's another thing.

V joint activities bad temper will show itself very quickly. Therefore, arrange other checks as well. You can, for example, go camping or take care of a sick grandmother. If a person immediately abandons this or that idea, this does not mean anything. If he took it, but then could not do anything, while making you guilty, then on the contrary, it says a lot.

3. The constructive character of a person develops his abilities. Indeed, it takes a lot of time, diligence and others to develop abilities. positive qualities... Even if a person just has pleasant manners, this already says a lot. This means that a person loves and knows how to work on himself. If he has sports or intellectual achievements, then this is even better.

If all the "abilities" of a person consist only of the ability to lie and adapt, then you definitely cannot cook porridge with such a person. Sooner or later he will deceive you too. He will wait for the most opportune moment when you least expect deception and when it is most profitable to deceive you, and will deceive.

Therefore, always pay attention to the person's ability, they are not only a consequence of some natural inclinations, but also the result of the work of character.