How to stop thinking bad about yourself. Ways to help you forget a person
“Out of sight - out of mind” - it would be good if a person could be forgotten so easily. In fact, the more you want to not think about someone, the harder it is to do it. Thoughts stubbornly return to the unwanted object.
One oriental parable tells of a young man who asked Khoja Nasreddin how to know the future and become immortal. The sage replied: "It's simple: don't think about white monkeys!" "Only?" the young man rejoiced. But since then he could not think of anything else but white monkeys.
Having given free rein to such thoughts, it is easy to "think" to obsessive states when you need the help of a psychotherapist. Therefore, it is better to try to get rid of them at the initial stage, while they are not yet fixed in our head. But first you need to figure out:
What prevents you from forgetting the other person?
Psychologists speak of three types of such causes. These are emotional, installation and behavioral.
Among the emotional
1. repressed emotions. A person is trying to seem strong, “hold on”, therefore he suppresses, which the separation caused him. This is especially true for men, because from childhood their parents inspired: “A man must be strong. It's embarrassing to cry." But then the pain sitting inside will constantly remind him of the person he wants to forget. You need to allow yourself to give vent to emotions, grieve, cry;
2. Unexpressed. After parting, many continue to mentally sort things out, argue, prove their case and make claims against the person who left them. In order to stop this mockery of oneself, it is worth setting out all the unspoken grievances in the form of a letter to him, but not sending the letter, but burning it;
3. Remorse, feelings of guilt. For some people, friends and loved ones easily become former, while others cannot calm down in any way that someone else is suffering through their fault. They are not going to return the former and at the same time reproach themselves for the evil they voluntarily or involuntarily caused. Mental excuses turn into obsessive states. How to get rid of such exhausting conversations with yourself? See point 2.
Among the set reasons
1. Persistent conviction that this man is the only one, he is our destiny, we will never we won't meet anyone better. Or maybe you should take advantage of the opportunity to make sure of this?
2. Confidence that together with him we lost the ability to love And ahead of us is a bleak existence. Let's check?
3. Linking your hopes and plans with this person. On the one hand, it's natural. On the other hand, these were probably only our plans, and he himself doubted the strength of the relationship. We have already come up with a honeymoon route and names for future children, and suddenly loneliness, longing, emptiness. Everything will have to be canceled - meetings, walks, trips. We do not do this: the last thing we need now is to isolate ourselves from people and immerse ourselves in memories.
The main behavioral reasons that do not allow us to forget a person
1. Forced contact with him. We work together, study together, we have common friends and one company. The only way out is to change everything. Otherwise, obsessive-compulsive disorder, hello!
2. Separated man and woman continue to have sex from time to time. This is often found in divorced couples where there are common children. At the same time, if for one partner it is just sex without obligations, for the other, the hope of restoring the old relationship is revived. However, here you need to follow the rule: “She died so she died”;
3. Dive into depression. Despite the desire to withdraw into oneself, not to go out anywhere and not to see anyone, one should not indulge him. Alone with ourselves, with masochistic pleasure, we will begin to dig into the wound, not allowing it to heal. Thus, we will only strengthen the emotional attachment to the person who should be forgotten with minimal loss to our psyche.
Ways to help you forget a person
The question of how to stop thinking about a person has been relevant at all times. Our ancestors in such cases relied on magic, in particular on:
1. Conspiracies and rituals
They need to be performed on a waning moon: feelings should also decrease with it. It seems that there is a rational grain here, because with their help a person gives himself a positive attitude, programs himself for a positive result. In any case, there is no crime here, and the attempt is not torture.
All we need is a source from clean water, lemon balm leaves, solitude and a little imagination. Let's focus on our emotions - resentment, mental pain, which prevent us from forgetting the other person. Let us mentally transfer them to the leaves of lemon balm, representing them with our tears, and we will tear them off one by one and throw them into the water. Leaves float away - memories float away. We leave when we feel peace and tranquility, having previously washed our face with water from a spring. This ritual can be repeated every week.
Finding the source can be a problem. In its absence, we will use fire: we state our obsessive thoughts on paper, and then we set fire to it, imagining how they forever fly away from us along with the ashes.
These methods are harmless and will not harm anyone. However, it is strictly forbidden to turn to fortune-tellers for help in order to inflict damage or a love spell on the departed.
2. We give ourselves the installation: “Everything that is done is for the better”
It may very well be that life has closed some doors for us, having previously opened others. But we resist with all our might, cling to old relationships, trying to revive what has long died. Ahead - discoveries, surprises, new people and new acquaintances.
And, as the old song says, "If the bride goes to another, then it is not known who is lucky."
3. Let's clear our living space for new relationships
Apathy, devastation, disappointment, loss of faith in long-term strong relationships, unwillingness to make new acquaintances - you can’t let these feelings take over. Breaking out of their captivity will not be easy. Let's fill the void with interesting things that we always wanted to do, but did not find time for them. At first, it will be difficult to completely switch to them, but gradually we will get involved and we will think less and less “about the former”.
This may be a repair - even if you have to get into a loan, but your head will not be occupied with fruitless thoughts, but with the search for new earnings. At the same time, we will remove from sight away, give away or throw away things bought together or suggestive of memories.
They say you can't run from yourself. Nevertheless, after a month or two, we will notice that the pain, if not gone, has dulled. However, this is not yet a reason to relax - we do not lose vigilance, we are not yet ready to meet this person. The slightest occasion is enough for the memories to play out with renewed vigor.
4. We do not discuss ended relationships with everyone in a row.
Discussing the current situation, we want to hear words of support, of our own rightness, condemnation of a person who has left us. Talking about him creates the appearance that he is still present in our lives.
At the same time, we are doing ourselves a disservice - the people with whom we were so frank, now with their very appearance will remind us of what we would like to forget. Perhaps one of them will begin to constantly take an interest in our personal life, believing that he has the right to do so.
It will not be possible to quickly erase from the memory of a person to whom they got used to, with whom bright events were associated, plans for the future, who became close and dear, will not work. It takes some time to heal from emotional dependence and affection. How long the healing will take and how complete it will be depends on the efforts made.
Unfortunately, many people want this only in theory, without taking practical action. It seems that the pain of such memories gives them pleasure, compensating for the loss. Memories now seem to them the only thing that still connects them with the departed, and they are in no hurry to break this connection.
Do you often think bad things? Stop doing it!
The situation when life loses its bright colors and plunges into the path of anxious expectations can take any of us by surprise. But this does not mean at all that everything gloomy and sad, drawn by the imagination, should become a reality.
And since such thoughts are inspired only by the imagination of a person and there are no prerequisites for anxiety, then it’s not worth poisoning your existence! You just need to learn how to cope with such a mood, tune in a positive way and start living calmly.
Only those who know how to cope with negative thoughts and feelings succeed in living, enjoying every moment given by fate.
There are several ways how to stop thinking bad things.
- Take control own desires and emotions
It's just not easy to overcome your feelings. True, there is whole line ways to redirect your attention in a more positive direction and relieve stress.
If you have made the decision to stop thinking about the bad, then the first thing you have to do is find arguments to make sure that the situation is not as bad as it might seem at first.
In this case, you will have to mobilize common sense and the ability to think logically, which will help convince yourself of the meaninglessness of experiences and the ability to keep the situation under control.
As soon as you manage to rely on convincing arguments confirming that everything is not so bad and you can fully count on a positive completion of the case, then the experiences will melt like snow with the advent of spring.
And do not think that it is too difficult to arm yourself with such arguments. To achieve what you want, all you need is to pull yourself together and calm down, looking at the current situation from the outside.
And if it is not always possible to find arguments, then it is also not worth worrying ahead of time. Why kill yourself first? Moreover, fate can still deflect the blow.
And yet, a prudent person will always weigh everything possible options and will think over ways of retreat, if suddenly events go in the wrong direction, which is necessary.
- Physical exercise
Simple physical exercises will also help to stop thinking about the bad. For example: a panic attack and unreasonable fear can be negated by the most ordinary squats. 15 or 20 will be enough.
But at the moment of such an attack of negative emotions, a person can be in public place, where squats will look somehow strange.
In such a case, you can get by with a quick clenching and unclenching of the fingers into fists. When appropriate, pull-ups, push-ups, and other exercises can help you stop thinking about the negative. Under influence physical activity the body will cope with panic and bad mood in a matter of moments.
- Water procedures
But if something does not work out with washing, then this process can be replaced by wiping the face, prudently moistened with a handkerchief. Washing of this kind should be addressed even at the most critical moments, which are almost impossible to deal with in other ways.
A contrast shower is even more effective. But this method of dealing with "thoughts" about the bad can be limited by specific conditions.
In order to withstand all the trials that fate sends, it is extremely important for a person to learn how to control his own consciousness. Possessing such skills, each of us will be able to adequately overcome all the difficulties that are encountered in life.
Feelings and sensations of the present moment depend on the ability to control oneself. But the most important thing is that the ability to concentrate the will and direct thoughts in the right direction has a positive effect on your future, which can be hopelessly spoiled by chronic experiences and nervous breakdowns.
Stop thinking about the bad - live consciously, think only about the good - and everything will be tip-top!
Bright thoughts to you!
Artur Golovin
P.S. What are you doing to stop thinking about the bad?
Interesting on the topic:
How to stop thinking bad things, today we'll talk on the Koshechka.ru website. Sometimes obsessive unpleasant thoughts do not leave, and you no longer know what to do to make them recede. They spin in the head, like a squirrel in a wheel, and some kind of vicious circle turns out. Let's try to find ways to overcome such thoughts together.
Just switch
It would seem that there is nothing easier than to take and stop thinking about something bad. But in reality, everything turns out not so easy as in theory. And therefore, in order to leave obsessive thoughts, you need to do physical labor, and preferably on fresh air. Or try to go to the gym, just squat, work out on the simulators.
put things in order
Banal cleaning of the house will help to bring cleanliness and shine in thoughts - in the closet, in the kitchen. Sometimes, to get rid of unpleasant thoughts, it is enough to take the first step - to throw away things that remind of this unpleasant thing. Trust me, it will get easier.
Water procedures
Since ancient times, it was believed that water is a rather powerful force. She is able to cleanse you not only externally. Tritely wash your face, preferably with cool water, take a shower, lie down in the bath with fragrant foam and oils.
Watch what you say
In order to stop constantly thinking about the bad, you need to stop discussing the bad. How many times has it happened that something unpleasant happened, and you discuss this situation with your family, friends, sometimes you even try to find out the details from your acquaintances. All this gives rise to new unpleasant and obsessive thoughts. Try to just let go of the situation and switch to positive thoughts.
Live in the present
Thoughts about the bad are usually associated with some event in the past. You can replay the situations that happened hundreds of times in your head and think that here and there it was necessary to act differently, say different words, do it differently.
Or another situation - unpleasant thoughts are associated with fears of the future. You are afraid that something might interfere with you in the future. This is also incorrect.
An effective way to stop thinking about the bad all the time is to just live and enjoy the simple pleasures. Smile, communicate with family and loved ones, and just breathe .. And about the importance of breathing - right now.
How to stop thinking about the bad - take a walk, chat with someone!
Breathe!
Sometimes obsessive thoughts so oppress your consciousness that they are literally ready to splash out. When you feel like you're about to say something harsh, just count to ten, take that many deep breaths in and out, and your mind will literally clear up. Because every cell of your body will be filled with air.
By the way, about the air. Even a small ten-minute walk can give you strength, vigor and literally throw off the burden of unnecessary thoughts.
Stop constantly thinking about the bad! Here and now!
Just give yourself that order. And yes, talk to yourself. No, our site does not invite you to completely go crazy 😉 Just cheer yourself up and do auto-training. Do you remember how in that good old movie about the most charming and attractive?
If you yourself do not believe in your uniqueness and exclusivity, then you will not convince anyone of this to other people, and constant unpleasant thoughts will haunt you.
How to stop constantly thinking about the bad: smile!
It would seem that there is nothing easier - to smile more often. But if you look at most people, in transport, and just on the street, people smile less and less with age. And gloomy and overly serious faces become a daily mask.
It is very noticeable on your face that you are thinking about something unpleasant. Yes, wrinkles can appear early. Smile, read a nice book, watch a funny show or an exciting comedy. Take your mind off the bad thoughts.
By the way, it will also help to stop constantly thinking about the bad that you will spend a couple of minutes once an hour just to look at yourself in the mirror and smile. Also, start every day with a smile. Now you will say that this is impossible, because you do not get enough sleep.
And this is another reason for constant bad thoughts. Establish a daily routine, sleep as much as you should, otherwise, due to lack of sleep, the world will seem boring and gray.
Love yourself!
If you love yourself, you won't torture yourself obsessive thoughts. So if you haven't yet loved yourself enough to get rid of the negativity, now is the time. Just swipe internal dialogue and explain to yourself why you can love. After all, you are so alone, you have your own dreams, plans, expectations from life. Rather, set yourself some pleasant goals and think about what exactly you can do to achieve them. And the first point will be - do not even waste your time on unpleasant thoughts!
From this article, you learned some secrets . Use them in your life!
Eva Raduga - especially for Koshechka.ru - a site for those in love ... with themselves!
Is there a negative voice inside your head that interferes with life? He criticizes, whines, complains and undermines self-confidence. He says it won't work again. The voice demands to be more modest, not to take risks and not to try anything that could change life. The negative voice scares you with different things that will never even happen. You will never get rid of your inner critic, but you can harness it and use it to your advantage.
How to stop thinking about the bad and realize yourself?
1. Misperception of mistakes
When troubles happen, problems and difficulties appear - we lose heart. When someone brings us down, betrays or strikes us, we find ourselves in a stupor. We don't understand why this happened. We get angry and play everything in our head over and over again. We think about mistakes, revenge, complain and wind ourselves up. So we spend a lot of time and energy fixing on troubles. We do not think how to solve them, but we think about misfortunes.
Time and opportunities are running out while we are mired in negative thinking. This is a misperception of errors. Mistakes should not drive you into depression. They should teach new things, help find other ways and spur to overcome difficulties.
2. Seeking justice, instead of wiggle power
It's time to come to terms with the fact that the world is unfair. It is impossible to have control over the whole world in order to establish order according to one's opinion of justice. Danila Bagrov, in the film "Brother 2", argued: "Whoever has the truth is stronger!" But it's not. Stop running around demanding truth and justice. Who is stronger is right. So you need to become stronger, and not complain about the injustice of the world.
3. You choose how you respond to problems.
When you spill coffee on your trousers, it's an accidental nuisance. You can quickly change into your trousers and go to work, forgetting this minor morning annoyance. But you can only make things worse for yourself all day long. You can yell at your friend who made you coffee. You can worry all day about your sluggishness. You can quarrel with colleagues because of a bad mood and in the morning. But you choose how you react.
All our troubles are only 20% of the case. The remaining 80% of troubles are our reaction to what is happening. You choose how you respond to all your problems.
4. Change yourself before taking new heights
We decide to start working better, get back on our feet, change jobs, go about our own business or improve our personal lives. But we do one important mistake and then we suffer. We do not change ourselves when we want to achieve new goal. As a result, the "old you" cannot win, but the "new you" can. We go into depression and begin to think negatively.
New Job Requires Ownership foreign language? Does a new position require new knowledge? beautiful girls peck at sports guys who have their tongues tied up? To take new heights, you need to become better. Change yourself first, then try something more. If you fail, then you are too weak and not ready for it. Upgrade your skills.
Stop thinking about the bad, be loaded with negative thoughts and take a step forward. Realize yourself to the fullest. Unleash your potential.
Thoughts have the property of being realized, and therefore it is worth surrounding yourself only with positive things, fantasies and dreams. In fact, sometimes it is not so easy to do this. To teach you to tune in to a good wave, excluding all the bad ones, there is a chance to improve your life a little.
Ways not to think about the bad
In any situation, you must be determined to end it positively.. You should not expect anything, do not hope, otherwise frustration cannot be avoided. You can do this by lowering the importance of the event in your head. You should always have a back up plan. For example, you started dating your chosen one, but you are afraid of losing him, there are some fears that you will not be able to find another. With these thoughts, you start checking the phone, social networks your boyfriend. These checks will be devastating, causing your destinies to diverge. But, if you are confident in yourself that you can date other men, then you will not be spying and jealous of a guy. This is the backup plan!
You should not think to yourself that this or that person who offended you once did it on purpose in order to hurt you to the quick. If you feel a lack of attention, it will say that this person means something to you. Therefore, your resentment in many cases may be unfounded. In such a situation, a sense of humility will help. This can take a lot of time, sooner or later, you will come to terms with the situation. As a rule, this will happen when your emotions have cooled down.
Most of us think about the bad, remembering the past. There is even a category of people living in the past. They are unable to let go of resentment, not to remember the negative, and therefore imagine their future in a similar scenario. Thoughts are born in my head to make a trick, to come up with a scenario for the development of a situation with a negative outcome even before it happened.
Don't remember the past turn your attention to the present. Every new day tomorrow will be the past, so why not make your past positive. Understand yourself why you are returning to the past, look for a way out.
Most of the worries turn out to be simply in vain, and therefore it is easier to relate to everything, without exaggerating their significance.
Unnecessary anxieties that provoke thoughts of the bad
- Cash and financial position. Even if you do not complain about the lack of these benefits, there is a sense of apprehension that they will soon run out. In pursuit of money, our soul becomes callous, filling its empty shelves with depression. You can't get richer than everyone!
- Aging and death. Natural youth or achieved by cosmetic efforts does not go out of fashion. But you should not worry in advance that at the age of 25 you have your first wrinkle, gray hair. This is our nature, you can’t change this, you can just start taking better care of yourself, change your hairstyle.
- Lifestyle. We all want to live perfectly, but do not forget - we are individuals, you can not follow someone crazy, losing your individuality. So you steal your minutes of life, thinking about how badly you live. You shouldn't be worried about this.
- Illnesses, accidents. People are suspicious, having caught a cold, we begin to invent other ailments for ourselves, reading on the Internet a lot of similar symptoms with other diseases. But you need to rely on the doctor, because he is much more experienced in this area than you are. And during the period when you are sick, you need to surround yourself with positive thoughts, and not aggravate your situation.
- information flow. Try to keep abreast of the news, but more positive, otherwise every explosion from fireworks will frighten you with the onset of military armies. Be aware of the news, but do not live it, do not worry that you suddenly did not read something, did not see it, did not understand it.
Avoiding Negative Thoughts
The most banal way is to turn off the right hemisphere and think with the left. To do this, you just need to pick up a rosary or a chain. Take the item of your choice right hand and twist it for 5-10 minutes. After this time, the left hemisphere will begin to work, now you can tune in to positive thinking faster. You can think about anything you like - about a hedgehog in the fog, funny situations, the sea. The main thing is that thoughts can set you on a positive wave.
To relieve unnecessary excitement, it is recommended to conduct a small set of exercises. When you detect an approaching feeling of panic, anxiety, you need to distract your brain - for this, do 20 squats. If you are not in suitable place for squats, you can quickly clench and unclench your fists. It is recommended to wash with cool water, look at yourself in the mirror and relax a bit. If you are at home, it will be great to take a cool shower, plunging completely with your head.
In fact, it will take a long time to learn to control your thoughts, to control yourself. Sometimes, this can only be achieved over the years. But by developing the skill, you can protect yourself from vain experiences and nervous breakdowns.
Think about it, there may be a lot of arguments in favor of the fact that the outcome is not so bad as you thought. Connect your logic, keep the situation under control. If you can find at least a couple of positive moments, you will notice how bad thoughts cease to be such.
Experts also advise you to go on a trip with your loved one, turn your vacation into a fairy tale. For example, a great option to go to Georgia, to the mountains, climbing Gergeti, all bad thoughts will go away.
well and most best method- fall in love. Just worry about the fact that you will be abandoned, feelings will pass and there is no need for other reasons. The magical feeling of falling in love is famous for the fact that it is completely independent of our wishes, alien to various worries. If you have a close friend with positive thinking, share your thoughts with her, perhaps she will help you laugh together at your experiences, and the panic will recede.
Remember that our thoughts are only a game of imagination, and therefore it is not a fact that this game will become a reality. Then the question arises: “Why ruin your life?”.
