I let my husband beat me. Domestic violence: what to do if a husband raises his hand to his wife

Natalya Kaptsova

Reading time: 7 minutes

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Women in families quite often face violence. And, unfortunately, such cases do not decrease from year to year. Moreover, even children who rush to protect their mothers sometimes fall under the arm. The aggressor is sometimes not stopped by either the condemnation of the people around him or the opportunity to get what he deserves from the Law. What are the reasons for the aggressive behavior of individual husbands, how to protect yourself from domestic violence yourself,?

Causes of domestic violence - why does a husband beat his wife?

The modern world is an aggressive phenomenon in itself. But Violence is not in human nature . Each act of violence is preceded by a certain situation, or its roots go back to childhood.

So why does a husband beat his wife?

A man copies the model of relationships that was considered quite natural in his childhood. . That is, aggressive behavior for him is the norm.
The man is provoked . Provocation often becomes coquetry, offensive words and deeds.
Self-affirmation or displacement of anger.
Weakness and excessive submissiveness of the wife . The wife will endure once, forgive the second, and then assault will become a habit of the spouse.
. The green serpent turns many caring and hardworking men into animals that beat their wives all night long, and in the morning they cannot even remember about it. Or they remember. In this case, having bought a richer bouquet, it is enough to fall at the feet of his wife and, sobbing, beg for forgiveness.
and the fear of losing his wife.
The man himself was regularly beaten as a child.
A man lives/works/communicates in an environment where violence is the norm . Getting used to seeing violence, a person ceases to consider it an abnormal phenomenon.
material problems , in which the wife humiliates a man by his inability to earn money, or she herself earns a multiple of her husband, which also reproaches him. Mental balance, which, even without jokes / insults of the spouse, swings from the realization of worthlessness, can very quickly turn into aggression.
Sadistic tendencies in character.

You need to understand that sadists are not born - their appearance is influenced by life, environment, people. Therefore, before marrying the "brutal macho", take a good look at him, his behavior, surroundings . Such psychotypes of people are quite recognizable.

What to do if a husband beats: methods of self-defense against domestic violence - advice to women

The issue of domestic violence, as a rule, is not taken out of the walls of the house. A woman is embarrassed or afraid to tell anyone, including relatives and friends, about her husband's tyranny. And the truth usually comes out when bruises appear on the body. There are not so many reasons why the weaker sex tolerates such an attitude towards themselves - weakness of character and inability to stand up for oneself, housing problem, financial dependence, children, who "need a father, even if such", or even the absurd "beats - it means he loves." And for some, even the husband’s aggression is diversity family life and a peculiar role play» with hot reconciliations and nights of love after a quarrel.

If we omit the last option, the most main question for women caught in the trap of marital tyranny - what to do if the husband beats, and how to protect yourself?

Changes in the behavior of the spouse do not appear immediately . As a rule, with the onset of pregnancy and after childbirth. At first - irritation, unmotivated anger, angry attacks and even broken dishes. Then insults, humiliations, deliberate infliction of insults and pain, and then assault. Further, the scenario of pushes, kicks and bruises becomes a habit, and every evening you wait for him from work with fear, hiding in a corner. There is only one way out - to see the tyrant in the husband in time and leave.
It is naive to think that "a little more, and it will pass" , “he’s just tired”, “yes, it happens in every family”, “yes, it’s my own fault - I lay in bed all day, and he plowed”, etc. There is NO and cannot be justifications for cruelty and violence from her own husband. Do you feel something has changed? Take action right away. Started to insult and be rude? Find out what is the reason, do not delay the conversation for a more favorable time.
Do not give him the opportunity to think that you can be humiliated and offended . Having done this once or twice, the man will understand that you are not resisting, and will continue with even greater enthusiasm. Any offense should be an equivalent rebuff. Even if it's your "beloved baby" weighing 100 kg, who is "just tired at work."
The most difficult thing to solve the problem of violence at its initial stage . When a wife tries to justify her husband's aggression by his fatigue, tension, etc. A woman does not even allow the thought that aggression can soon turn into assault, and life will become like hell. Therefore, any excuses for the husband are used, just not to admit to themselves the true state of affairs. Your task in this situation is to try to look ahead. Make sure that the surge of aggression was really caused by problems at work, etc. And that “sorry, I broke yesterday” will not happen again. If you feel that this case is just the beginning, if you see that your husband is breaking down and angry with or without reason, then it is time to talk, and then decide for yourself whether such prospects for family life are needed.
Husband hit for the first time . First, calm down and find the reason for his act. Is this typical for his family? Was it an outburst of anger or a state of "affect"? Was he intoxicated? Did he realize what he had done and how he behaved after that? If such an act is not characteristic of him, if he himself was frightened of what he had done, and does not know how to atone for his sins before you now, then you probably do not need to immediately run to file for divorce - give him a chance. And make it clear that you will not give him a second chance. And at the same time, think about whether you provoked this aggression? If you came home in the morning, dressed up, with alcoholic amber, and even to the question “where have you been all night?” sent a spouse to catch butterflies, then his aggression is quite understandable.
Experts advise solving problems of aggression with the help of psychologists. That is, first talk with your husband, and then turn to the “plumber” together with him. human souls". But, as life shows, it can work if only a man is aware of his problem and wants to deal with it.
If there was another assault , do not cry, do not shout, do not threaten - your actions must be decisive and cardinal. The best option is to fight back, pack your things and leave. It doesn’t matter what size a man is: a heavy frying pan in the hands of an offended woman is an excellent educational weapon even for a “mountain of muscle” on which T-shirts burst. But this method is good only when you are sure that after your "surrender" you will not lie in the corridor in a deep knockout. If in doubt, it is better to wait out the storm quietly, and only then pack your things and leave.
Remember your dignity, which only you can protect. Nowhere to go? Get a room in the simplest hotel. As a last resort, you can ask to go to friends' dacha, to a crisis center for women (many centers have shelters), etc. There is always a way out. And this way out is always better than to endure humiliation. Doesn't let you leave the apartment? Shout, knock on the batteries, call the police, beat the dishes - attract the attention of others. The more noise, the faster the husband will get scared and retreat.
Respect yourself!No unsolvable situations . Has he gotten into the habit of assault? So, you yourself allow such treatment with yourself. Are you afraid of him? And what's the point if your life has already become like hell? Does he feed you? But if you want, even without education you can find a job. You just need to want. Is there a job in your city? Leave for another. Don't be afraid to change your life and stand up for your rights to happiness. After all, this is your life, and it depends only on you what it will be. Even if you have to run away at night, with three children and from another country, make a choice - what is more important for you: to be well-fed, dressed, humiliated and beaten, or to be free and happy?
If you honestly and for a long time tried to change the home microclimate If you have become more tolerant, you are trying your best, and your husband is becoming more and more aggressive, then it's time to put an end to it. If you have the opportunity to leave immediately, leave. If not, prepare yourself a "bridgehead". That is, find a job, housing and suddenly disappear from his life. Before disappearing, try to minimize all problems - do not respond to aggression, hide a bag with documents, phone, money in safe place, in case you have to leave quickly. Find "shelter" in advance. Destroy all books / papers / notebooks with the coordinates of people by which your husband can find you.
Warn the Neighbors so that in case of noise and screams they immediately called the police. Protect yourself from all sides.

If the husband's behavior goes beyond all conceivable boundaries of what is permitted, it's time to act, relying on the law and special services . In this case, rely solely on yourself, be patient, lock your fears on the mezzanine and forward - to freedom!

I am in my thirties and my husband is the same age. I have a high school diploma and am currently attending a local college trying to get what I need additional education. My husband graduated from college and is an expert in his field. We are both attractive people and tend to be liked and respected by others. We have four children; we live in a house with every comfort that middle-class people can dream of. I have everything but a life without fear.

During most of my marriage, my husband beat me from time to time. What do I mean by "beat"? I mean, he hit hard on many times. different parts my body, resulting in painful bruises, bleeding wounds, bumps, loss of consciousness, and sometimes all at once.

He threw glasses at me, he kicked me in the stomach when I was in the last months of my pregnancy, he threw me out of bed and beat me when I was lying on the floor - and again during pregnancy. He whipped me, knocked me down, lifted me up and threw me to the floor again. He punched and kicked me in the head, chest, face and stomach so many times that I lost count.

I got slapped for saying something about politics; for having her own opinion about religion; for cursing, crying or wanting intimacy. He threatened me when I didn't do what he said. He threatened me when he had a bad day and when he had a good day... After each beating, my husband left the house and did not return for several days.

Very few people saw the bruises on my face or my swollen lips, because after the beatings I never left the house - I was ashamed. After he beat me, I could not drive a car and therefore could not get to the hospital and get medical help. But even if I could get behind the wheel, I would never leave small children at home alone ...

Several times my husband called me in a day or two so that we could agree on an excuse for me to come up with when I get back to work, go to the grocery store, go to the dentist, and so on. I made up all sorts of reasons - a car accident, a dental operation, and the like.

Of course, the first reaction to this story will be the question: “Why didn’t you ask someone for help?” I applied. Shortly after my marriage, I went to a priest who, after several visits, said that my husband didn't really want to hurt me, but that he was just confused and insecure. He encouraged me to be more tolerant and understanding. And most importantly, I was told to forgive my husband for the beatings, just as the crucified Christ forgave me. I did this too.

But the beatings continued. The next time I went to the doctor. He gave me sedative pills and told me to look at things more easily. I'm just too nervous.

I complained to a friend, but when her husband found out about this, he accused me of either inventing or exaggerating the situation. My friend was told to stay away from me. She didn't listen, but she couldn't really help me anymore. Just because she believed me, she was made to feel like a traitor.

I went to specialized family counseling. There I was told that my husband needed help and I had to find a way to control the situation. But I couldn't control the beatings - that's why I was looking for help. It turned out that during the consultations I needed to defend myself against suspicions that I wanted him to beat me, that I provoked him to beat me. My God! Did the Jews in Germany also provoke the Germans to exterminate them?

I went to two more doctors. One asked me how I provoke my husband. Another asked if we hadn't made up yet.

Once I called the police. They not only did not come to the call, but also called a few hours later and asked if everything was “settled” with us. By that time I might already be dead...

If it happens again, then I have nowhere to go. No one will accept a woman with four children. Even if there were kind people, ready to show participation, then all the same, no one wants to interfere in the so-called "family affairs".

Everyone I asked for help for some reason wanted to put the blame on me and justify my husband. I heard it over everything they said. The priests, the doctor, the counselor, my friend's husband, the cops, they all found some way to justify him. A husband who beats his wife should not be "provoked". He pounces when he wants to, and at any moment he finds an excuse for this.

I know that I need to get away from him. But when there is nowhere to go, you know that you can rely only on yourself and there is nowhere to wait for support. I must be ready for this. I must be ready to fully provide for myself and my children and create decent living conditions for them ....

I realized that no one believed me and that I could not count on any outside help. All I have left is the hope that I can free myself before it's too late.

In this article, I want to touch on the topic of domestic violence. If you are reading this text, then most likely you have experienced violence in your family. Perhaps this is happening now. Unfortunately, this phenomenon is very common, and - which is even more regrettable - few people talk about it.

First of all, they are silent victims of violence, which in 95% of cases are women and children. It is they who often hide the sad, scary facts own life. And it's hard to blame them!

On the one hand, they are simply scared, on the other hand, they often believe that what is happening to them has the right to exist, is normal, and even to some extent fair. If so, then why talk about it? In addition, society often condemns such women, shames them.

Often one hears reasoning: Man hitting a woman- Okay, but who's to blame? Perhaps the so-called victims of violence themselves provoke their abusers?

Responsibility for a blow always lies with the one who commits it, so never listen to those who say: "the woman herself is to blame for being beaten." This is not true! But it is equally fair to say that a man is treated as he allows himself to be treated. This is reality, even though it goes against all ethical standards.

Therefore, the cycle of violence should be considered from two different positions. From the side of the offender and from the side of the victim. Applied violence is the responsibility of the offender. Salvation is the task and responsibility of the victim.

Violence can be physical, psychological, economic, sexual, or a combination of all of these forms.

In the end, that's usually what happens. Violence is used by those who want to control the life of another person, to dominate it - this is perhaps the most important thing to understand, I read this work.

And above all, I set myself the goal of showing ways out of the cycle of violent relationships. To do this, it is necessary to debunk some of the myths associated with this phenomenon, as they often act as obstacles for those women who want to avoid violence against themselves.

Article navigation: “My husband beats me – what to do? What prevents you from breaking off relations with a male offender? Part 1"

Misconception #1

In fact, in this sense, practically nothing depends on a woman. Why? the reader will ask.

What if she says terrible things?
And if she first pushed or hit?
What if she was flirting with someone else?

Even if all this is true. Even if she behaved rudely, indecently, or said offensive words, it was the man who made the decision to hit or not. Could he just walk away from her? But for some reason he chose the path of violence.

Yes, he was so angry that he simply lost control of himself! the same reader will say.

Then why didn't he kill her? Why, when he saw his wife flirting with another, did he hit her only upon returning home? Why, before striking, did he close the door to the children's room?

The experience of working with those who practice domestic violence against women (rapists) shows that in the vast majority of cases a man is aware of what he is doing and is able to control himself.

The inability to control one's own behavior is either a pathology or an illusion, and this applies to everyone, not just men. Domestic violence against women exists because a man wants power and is taught that it can be obtained by force. Society condones this idea.

The idea that a woman provokes a man to use violence is completely untenable. Of course, you can say that some women (and people in general) behave in such a way that you want to strangle them, but this does not mean that this is how they are treated. There is always a choice. This is what distinguishes a person from an animal, which operates solely on the principle of stimulus-response.

In human nature, however, lies the ability to be aware of their actions, and therefore control them. The ability to make conscious decisions based on the analysis of incentives, one's own needs and desires, on the one hand, and on the other hand, to predict the consequences of one's reactions, on the other hand, significantly distinguishes a person from an animal.

The person who used violence family was ready to do it. He was looking (or waiting) for an excuse. Even if a woman silently fulfilled all his desires and requirements, he would most likely “punish” her for being too submissive, expressing contempt for her position.

Finding fault with a woman for any reason, the rapist thereby gets rid of internal tension. What he does is related to the need to vent anger, and the behavior of a woman has little to do with this. She is only an object of influence, and nothing more. It is this internal tension that causes man hitting a woman.

Misconception #2

Domestic violence against women will stop if they become better (more affectionate, more skillful, more beautiful, sexier, etc.)

For example, once in childhood, such a person was deprived of the opportunity to make decisions independently, was under the yoke of someone whom he was unable to resist (we are not talking about normal parental requirements that the child obey and behave appropriately, rather the central place , here, takes the word "oppression").

“When you turn 18, you will decide for yourself what to do, but as long as you live with us, you must obey. You know, we feed him, give him water, and he decided to set his own rules. No thanks!" - such parents are indignant.

By using violence, a man who grew up in such conditions proves to himself over and over again that he is not powerless. Once upon a time he had to obey, but now, there appears (the seeker, let him find!) Someone weaker than him.

No matter what a woman does, no matter how hard she tries to be better, violence will continue until the offender reconsiders her values, accepts her weakness in order to learn to be truly strong.

The ostentatious strength hides vulnerability, a sense of inferiority, inner weakness and still leaves a person in a state of impotence. True strength lies in having the courage to admit your powerlessness (which happens to everyone), and to give yourself the trouble to overcome it without causing harm to others.

Misconception #3

According to various studies, about 90% of children whose mothers are abused become unwitting witnesses. Domestic violence against women significant impact on children.

It has been proven that people who regularly witness violence have the same (or very similar) psychological consequences as the victims themselves.

In addition, as a rule, if a violent type of relationship takes place in the family, then it also applies to children. Is it possible to call a good father a person whose actions cause significant harm to the health of his children? This, as you can see, is a rhetorical question.

Misconception #4

Here the situation is as follows: firstly, maybe he really loves, but does this mean that everything is allowed to him ?! Love is understood by everyone in their own way. For the offender, as a rule, this feeling is associated with a desire to control and dominate.

However, confusion often arises when vivid sensual manifestations are mistaken for true affection. Love, however, is more than an ardent passion. It includes care for the object of sighing, and such care that does not run counter to the desires of the latter.

The desire, for example, to isolate your partner in order to protect her from the harmful influence of friends and relatives, is not very similar to the manifestation of love, at least because it can go against the desires of a woman and hurt her.

It is necessary to separate love (the feeling that may live in the offender) and violence (the way this feeling is manifested). If a man beats a woman, then it is not so important whether he loves her at the same time or not. What matters is that he hurts her. Violence used is a fact worth confronting, no matter what other feelings may be behind it.

Actually, domestic violence against women- a topic shrouded in many myths, but these four misconceptions, in my opinion, most often prevent breaking off relations with the offender.

So, to recap: it can be difficult for a woman to leave a rapist because she blames herself for what is happening to her (agrees with the accusations of others). As a result, he believes that by changing and “becoming better”, he will be able to convince his offender to stop (satisfy him). She sacrifices herself (or courageously endures this test), believing that this is good for her children.

All this, no doubt, may look like serious reasons, but they are erroneous. Ultimately, only the rapist is responsible for what he does.

Here we do not take into account his own history of teaching violence. Of course, he has his own, often objective, reasons for behaving this way - childhood traumas, instilled faith in patriarchal authority, etc. But this is not an excuse, because in the end a person always has a choice: how to live his traumas and how to realize the data in childhood installations.

Now that the myths are over, let's turn to the objective difficulties and dangers that are associated with the rupture of violent relationships.

If for some reason you could not contact the psychologist online, then leave your message (as soon as the first free consultant appears on the line, you will be contacted immediately at the specified e-mail), or on.

Unfortunately, one can often hear complaints from women: “my husband beat me”, “raised his hand”, and the like. Indeed, sometimes male aggression does not find a way out, and it comes to the fact that a man begins to beat his wife or child, taking advantage of their weakness and turning into a domestic monster.

However, this is just the case when a woman needs to show the stamina of her character and show strength, otherwise the beatings will have to endure for a very long time.

If a husband beats, then most the best option will throw it. If you have common children, and you don’t want to leave your domestic tormentor because of this, then think about it: will better for kids to see constant scenes of violence and a beaten mother than to live without a father? Children's psyche is very fragile, so if you don't want to raise children in fear, then it's best to leave.

If there is no way to leave, then you need to join the fight. You can’t change cruel people, especially since such a man has mental disorders (which need to be treated), and therefore any attempts at persuasion, affection, fulfillment of his requirements will not lead to the desired result.

Here are some tips to help make things easier:

it’s naive to think that you can fight him on equal terms, but it doesn’t hurt to sign up for self-defense courses;
you must also be resistant to provocations: if it is clear that the husband is "turned on", leave the house for a while or do not react to them. Pretend not to notice him and let him do what he wants;
it is useful to organize a room without glass doors and put a padlock on it inside so that if your husband starts to attack, you can hide from him. It is advisable to keep water there and some means of communication that he cannot cut off;
his actions also need to be made public: contact the local media, usually journalists are looking for bright life situations, so they are unlikely to refuse publication. It is advisable to publish not only the surname, but also a photograph, so that his actions are despised by everyone he knows. Maybe he is not afraid of you, but he can be afraid of being an outcast. If you do not dare to take this step, talk to your relatives, let them intercede for you;
and you can try to give him sedatives(if he is not an alcoholic who is in a constant binge);
if a husband beats a pregnant wife, then it is necessary to leave him under any circumstances, because this is an extreme display of cruelty and a sign of lack of morality, and most likely, he is even capable of killing. Nothing should stop a woman from breaking up with this man.

Why does a husband beat his wife?

For some women, this is a mystery: why does a husband beat his wife, because he chose her, got married and probably loves her. For others, the answer is obvious, and he questions the intellectual, moral and other characteristics of such a man.

Most often, men beat their wives because they believe it is right: they say, this is how they show their strength, “punish” their spouse for wrong actions, or simply satisfy their need to inflict pain.

However, no matter what reasons such a husband calls, they are all lies, it is unlikely that at least one of them understands the real factors of such behavior: bad upbringing, boundless complexes and personal degradation.

Step-by-step instructions: what to do if your husband has just beaten you?

The main thing is not to be afraid to harm this cruel person (what if, because of the police call, the authorities find out that the husband is fighting and fire him): now he is lucky, he took out his anger on a weak woman who cannot answer, but imagine if there was a man a couple of times stronger than him, what would become of this so-called husband? Therefore, you better teach him normal behavior, and show that there is no impunity. Do not value the relationship with such a person, and look for an opportunity to break it off. All measures against violence can only have a temporary effect.

Do you want to finally stop bullying yourself?
We hope that our tips and the method described in this article will help you get rid of domestic violence.

Client Notes:“My husband beats me. After his beatings, bruises remain on my body.
I have to cover them with clothes and hide them with cosmetics so that no one
didn't see.
The worst thing is that my son sees such an attitude of a father to his mother -
everything happens before his eyes.
I no longer have the strength to endure the beatings of my husband. Of course he apologizes
that he won't do that again - but after a while he hits me again.
I finally decided that it should not continue like this."
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In a situation where a woman is subjected to domestic violence, she needs to important choice: continue to endure bullying or change your life.

Modeling Behavior

If a woman decides break up with your husband who beats her, she must first understand the reasons for her behavior in the family. Otherwise, there is a possibility that such relationships will be repeated at other times, with another man.

After all, the woman did not understand why her husband beat her. Why is this happening to her? Why did she allow herself to be treated like this?

That's right, it allowed...

After all, if she had stopped such an attitude towards herself at the very beginning, when her husband hit her for the first time, now she would not suffer from recurring beatings.

If the husband does not change, if he does not stop beating you, you will leave.

In both the first and second scenarios, both the husband and the wife need to understand the causes of domestic violence and how to get rid of it.

Our behavior in life and in the family is conditioned by education.

From childhood, we take an example from our parents. Yes, we know they don't always do the right thing. But we have no other choice but to unconsciously follow their example. We are prisoners of their patterns of behavior in the family.
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Our ideas about family are shaped by the relationship between our parents.
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But you are not to blame for doing the same as your parents! It’s just that you didn’t see another example, except for the parent one, in childhood.

But now you have grown up. And you can build your own family - the way you want.

Why does your husband behave this way towards you, why does he beat you? To find the answer to this question, you first need to determine the cause of his aggressive behavior. And having determined the cause, we will find out how to change it.

Why does a husband raise his hand to his wife?

So, we found out that the upbringing and atmosphere in the parental family influence the formation of the child's personality. They contribute to the choice life path, behavior, attitudes, beliefs.

It is good when a child grows up in a psychologically healthy family, where he is taken care of, where he is respected, where his opinion is taken into account and where he is helped to become a full-fledged person. But families are different. And not always the climate in them is favorable for the cultivation of a young personality.

Husband's aggression and cruel behavior towards his wife is often rooted in childhood, in the parental family. Most likely, he was often offended as a child: beaten, mocked, humiliated. As a result, a man grew up, unsure of himself, who now asserts himself by manifesting his physical strength over a weaker person - his wife.

Sometimes a man's self-esteem does not suffer, but his father's behavior towards his mother has already been deposited in his subconscious, in those moments when he beat her.

Now a man automatically reproduces the same model of behavior - but already in his family.

How can a man overcome negative subconscious attitudes and stereotypes?

First, understand that its behavior is the inheritance of its parent.
Secondly, realize that this is not correct.
Third, firmly decide that he wants to change.

A man needs to learn to develop a different model of behavior.

Why is a woman exposed to domestic violence?

A woman, most likely, also carries an unconscious childhood trauma. She may have been bullied by her father or mother, or some other member of the family, as a child. She - victim by nature.
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Until a woman realizes this fact, until she understands her behavior and her
beliefs until she learns to love herself and be confident - she again and again
will experience domestic violence.
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Realize that your problems come from childhood, that you behave in the same way as your father and mother did in your childhood. But then you were small and defenseless. And now you - adult woman who has the right to decide how to live!

Take up, for example, the type of activity that has long attracted you. This will make you feel more confident and happy. You deserve all the best! Remember this.

Understanding the causes and consequences of domestic violence is very important! You understand that once again someone can go too far in a quarrel and seriously suffer or, God forbid, an outbreak of aggression will lead to fatal consequences.

In addition, not only you suffer, your children also suffer. They are not by own will become witnesses to your quarrels with your husband.
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Think about what a happy family future your children can have,
if there is no other example, except for bullying the object of their love, they don’t know?! ..
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Your children, just like you as a child, unconsciously inherit the behavior of their parents. They will transfer your behavior pattern to their future family - just like you once did.

Someone has to break this vicious cycle. It is up to you to change the situation for the better and build a warmer relationship with your husband! Realize the gravity of the problem. Get ready for change.

Of course, changes will take time and patience, as well as the help of a psychologist.
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Important reminder!
Promise yourself: if your husband does not want or cannot change, you will leave him.
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How can a husband learn to control his aggression?

Often a husband beats his wife because he does not know how to get rid of aggression in any other way. Aggression accumulates in him and increases during a quarrel. He needs to learn to manage his feelings.

Before you two effective ways How to help your husband cope with aggression:

1. A man can learn to express his emotions with words rather than actions. The simple phrase "I'm angry with you" is more effective than a fist.

2. A man can develop the habit of directing aggression in a less destructive direction - sports, exercise and exercise.

In the first variant, a man pronounces his emotions and thereby frees himself from them. After all, aggression is the accumulation of negative emotions and their release when a person can no longer restrain them in himself.

In the second case, a man gives feelings a harmless outlet - through physical work or sports.

How should a woman behave?

Relationships have this pattern: if one person changes, other members of the family also change. It is a fact. But before you change, both you and your husband need to realize that changes are vital for you, for your family.

As a wife, you need to support your husband from the very beginning if he decides to change for the better.

Praise him for his successes, encourage him with words. Show by your actions and behavior that you are with him, that you share his intention to change.

Think about it, would you be pleased if you were told every day that you are bad, ugly and the like? On the contrary, it is necessary to encourage the behavior of a husband who is clearly making progress towards better changes.

How to be with children?

Children who have seen more than once how their father beats their mother experience hatred for the parent - they are afraid and do not respect their father.
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Children, when they grow up, on a rough physical strength will respond with the same force
and the same attitude towards man.
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Do you want that? Do you want your children to despise and hate you?

If you decide to live differently and build strong relationships in your family, first win new trust and respect from your children. By your actions, words, you must restore close and trusting relationships with your children.

Children should not be afraid of you, children should respect you!

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Want to end violence in your family once and for all? Get started right now. Now you know a little more about the methods of how to bring peace to the family, and you can put them into practice.

Remember: domestic violence can be stopped!
Change! You deserve happiness!