How to please a man? Psychologists' advice on how to quickly win over a man or a guy. The age of love is not a hindrance: how to please a young guy How to please a young man to an adult woman
Flip through the pages of any weekly tabloid, and you're bound to stumble upon at least one story involving a more mature woman dating a younger man. You might think this only happens in Hollywood, but in real life it happens even more often. The guy in line behind you at the store, or the newcomer recently hired in your office, might be the perfect match for you. Attract a young man by playing with the idea of a "predator" or "cougar" be on the lookout.
An article published by ABC titled "Mature Women with Younger Men?" (More Older Women With Younger Men?) Highlighted and examined the current trend when women of more mature age prefer younger men. The article refers to a study conducted back in 2003 by the National Association of Retired Persons, which stated that approximately 1/3 of mature women (40 to 60) are in relationship with younger men.
Difficulty: moderately easy.
1. Operate the reputation of the "panther" for your own benefit. Young men and boys now see every day how their favorite stars and idols meet and start serious relationships with women twice their age, not to mention five years difference - and begin to look closely at interesting older women in their environment. Let the young man know that you are older, but still full of life and strive for an active life.
2. Dress like a woman on a hunt, and play up to your best qualities - both physical and intellectual (good figure, great sense of humor, intelligence, ability to paint as if you are not wearing makeup, positive wisdom, natural beauty, confident manners yourself a person, etc.). Take good care of yourself - this is often not typical for young girls either: you will need all the attributes of a mature toilet, from good perfume to body creams combined with deodorant. Don't forget about a stylish hairstyle.
Don't dress too conservatively and maturely, but getting too young is also not worth it, like ladies under 40, wearing short straight sundresses or sneakers: both produce a negative impression rather than what you want. Choose good (but not striptease) heels to show your legs, don't forget about jeans - they give your look a lightness and acceptable youth (but don't wear jeans all the time), finally, choose a blouse with a relatively low cut. Just because you're older doesn't mean you don't look great, and that guy should be able to see it. By the way, many different designer things can perfectly emphasize your figure without vulgar clichés, like jeans that are narrower and deeper cut. Choose an adult but trendy style of clothing that can tell you that you are an energetic, modern, yet elegant and intelligent woman without age.
As for behavior - a couple of interesting and funny remarks thrown in a conversation with a cashier or colleague, your jokes at a corporate party, interesting ideas for projects - anything worthy that will make you stand out from the crowd.
3. Avoid mentioning a number of things that he does not understand or knows nothing about: those that are related specifically to your age. For example, there is no need to talk about what happened before his birth: of course, this does not apply to major world events or politics, but particulars, as well as pop culture, cultural achievements and events in the decades to his birth, concerns first of all. If he was born after the release of Star Wars, it’s not worth mentioning how you went to the movies on a date at school for the premiere of this movie, or tell how you got to Jackson’s concert. Stick to things and interests that you share: for example, love for the music of Depeche Mode / A-ha or, conversely, Armin (a) van Buuren (a), corresponding to the interests of both generations.
4. Show your wisdom and experience, but carefully so as not to hurt his pride. There is nothing sexier than a woman who knows what she wants, is confident in herself, knows how to show herself and does not want to deprive herself of real life. Tell him about your trip to Paris or the mountains, how you passed out at a rock concert of some band, participated in a brawl in a bar, went sailing or went to Italy for the finale of the football season, and you will be surprised how much interest he will show ...
5. Ask for his help and / or advice with something that only he knows, or at least just knows it well. Tell him that you like the new song, but you do not know either its name or artist, ask him a question about the characteristics of the new mp3 player. Perhaps later he will worry that you already know so much about everything and you do not need him, but such a question will show that you, in spite of everything, need him.
6. You can't categorize all young men outright into two or three categories, so if you're particularly interested in dating him, try to understand his motivation. Is he looking for opportunities to have fun, is he going through the stage of transition from boyish irresponsibility to the personality of a balanced and responsible young man, looking for opportunities to start a family or a reliable and loving company for a long time? Develop your strategy of action based on these facts.
7. Expand your interests and hobbies outside your own home. Go to meetings, unisex workshops, sports group activities, try photography or Latin American dances - more often than not, do something outside the family four walls. This will not only increase your chances of meeting a suitable young man, but your chances of attracting him will increase significantly: the rhythm of your life will better coincide with the daily rhythm of young people; you will know and be able to do more interesting things, you will have something to talk about; you will show yourself as an energetic and dynamic person; you will have the opportunity to find a like-minded person, a person who is fond of the same thing that you are - and this brings together practically better than anything else.
8. Do not forget about naturalness, about the opportunity to be yourself. Adult women often attract young people with their maturity, calmness, confidence, intelligence, natural intelligence - they do not need to build something out of themselves, to prove something, they are already more than interesting. So do not try to grimace, to become like young women who have not yet taken place as individuals. Do not try to remain silent, avoiding an argument, do not belittle yourself around him. Demonstrate confidence in everything you do.
Additions and Warnings:
- Many young men meet mature women in order to be able to learn from them and become more mature themselves. If you are dating a young man who is still asserting himself, try to support his ideas, goals, and provide solid, good advice. Understand the challenges and obstacles young people face. Do not delve into his worries, do not label them as stupidity or immaturity;
- Avoid at the root of possessiveness and insecurity in your young partner. For young people, the desire for freedom and the opportunity to live their own lives is even more important than even for a mature person - this is the period of their formation. Think back to yourself at this age. Do not make unreasonable and excessive demands;
- Some young men date older women out of purely selfish motives. The desire for a relationship without any conditions, constant access to erotic pleasure, the financial side of the issue, or even psychological self-assertion at the expense of a woman - all this can be the main reason that a young man is interested in you. So be clear about your own desires before looking for a young partner. And, already being in such a pernicious relationship, think three times whether you need it;
- Don't worry if you say or do something that indicates your age, because he already knows that you are older. Just play it as a joke if you want to and move on instead of being embarrassed and worried that you missed control and messed things up;
- Don't lie about your age and don't pretend that you are younger than you really are. Either way, one day he finds out the truth - and sooner rather than later, we are all curious - and then he will probably be upset about this whole situation. In the worst case, you will break up.
It is quite normal for a girl to wonder if a guy likes her.
Surely every girl racked her brains more than once with the question of how to get a man's heart. For some, this is a chance to find true love, and for others, an opportunity to fall in love with a guy and hide their loneliness. One way or another, everyone wants to have a reliable shoulder and protection. Let's take a closer look at how a man will like it.
How can a guy like a girl
The first thing that catches the guy's eye is the beauty and appearance of the girl. However, these concepts are very different and should not be considered the same. Appearance is what guys pay attention to when they first meet a girl. This is a good figure, beautiful facial features, a charming smile, and beautiful shining eyes. In a word, appearance is how a person presents himself to others, whether he is neat or untidy, how he dresses and how he takes care of himself. You don't have to be a top-tier model to please a guy, you just have to look after yourself, have good style, and know how to present yourself.
- Men love with their eyes, so it is very important for them to know what a girl is fraught with and what she is. Appearance is your business card and this is the first thing a guy pays attention to. In the end, what conclusions he will draw about you, at the first impression, depends on this.
- Some girls, in order to create a good impression, wear short dresses, long-heeled shoes, and do provocative makeup, but you can not push the guy towards you and emphasize your appearance, but, on the contrary, push him away from you. Of course, some guys like this image, but most want to see natural beauty in a girl. Makeup should be light and casual. You do not need to try to stand out from the crowd, it is enough to be harmonious, and by yourself, then you will definitely succeed in catching your object of desire!
A girl should be able to win a guy's heart not only with beauty, but also with mental abilities. You should always be able to keep up a conversation with a guy on different topics, because guys love smart girls. You can reject the opinion of those people who think that smart girls scare guys. And what's wrong with the fact that the girl is incredibly beautiful and smart enough?
We can say that she is as important as appearance and beauty, because a girl should be light, defenseless, and charming. Who likes rude and rude girls? After all, a girl, first of all, must be educated, moderately modest, for that she is a "lady". Guys like to feel tenderness and lightness in a girl.
On the first date, it is very important not only to look good and be able to maintain a conversation, but also to behave culturally in society. To be well-mannered and friendly, to follow the speech and manners of etiquette. The guy you like will watch how you behave in public and what you are. You should not be too closed and shy, and be afraid to do something wrong at the first meeting. The main thing is to stay simple and follow certain rules, then everything will certainly work out.
Every guy wants to see a different person in a girl. To do this, it is important to be able to present yourself to a guy so that he understands for sure that you are the one he has been looking for for so long, and such cherished and pleasant words as “you are not like everyone else” were spoken to you. This can be done by showing your good and active side.
On a date, you should follow the culture of speech, be able to express your opinion correctly, and maintain a conversation. If you do not swear, do not shout, do not laugh the loudest, and do not arrange frequent tantrums and mood swings, then the guy will definitely like you. It is not necessary to be too modest and silent, the main thing is to be able to conduct a conversation and monitor your manners.
Guys like girls with a sense of humor. Such people are more relaxed about everything, they are good and comfortable with them. Cheerful girls will not leave indifferent any guy, because they bribe with their sincerity and sense of lightness.
A man will build a relationship only with a woman whom he will respect. For this, a woman must show that she is not just a puppet in the hands of a man, but a personality. You must create such an image for yourself in the eyes of a man so that he sees in you a woman who is not easy to conquer. In doing so, you must make it clear to him that you are a little interested in him. It is a subtle art that needs to be learned and understood.
The first and most important thing a girl should do in order to be closer to the man she likes is to find out as much information as possible about him before making acquaintance with him and talking about love affairs. Find out his hobbies, hobbies, it does not hurt to also find out if his heart is busy.
Try not to change dramatically. This applies to both the appearance and the inner world, if you play with him, and seem much better than you are, this will only scare the guy away. Therefore, it is important to remain yourself under all circumstances. The make-up is calm, the clothes are not provocative. At the same time, do not forget about communication manners. To draw the attention of the guy you like, it is enough to change the behavior and style, they will undoubtedly play in favor of you and your further communication with the guy. Try not to look stupid, older guys like smart and well-read girls.
Do not try to force yourself on a man or be a clear leader in dating and relationships. All guys are "hunters" by nature, so if you take a step forward, expect further action from the man. After all, if he likes you, he will certainly act.
Now, following the advice: “How will an adult man like it?”, You will be able to find out what actions to take and how to behave in his environment.
If you met a man and immediately liked each other, then the thought of “is he married?” Will not immediately come to your mind. Undoubtedly, women do not want to have relationships with married men, but in life everything happens the other way around. You can never know what might happen at the moment. Of course, you can forget such a man, because his heart is busy, and there is no place for you, or it promises many problems. But, if you want to be with him, and his intentions are serious to the point that he is so in love with you that he is ready to leave his family, then our advice will help you.
The most important advice is that it is better not to destroy the man's family, do not impose on him with thoughts, so that he would quickly collect his things and leave for you. A man himself must make decisions and decide what is more important to him. Of course, you can tell him about your sympathy, but you shouldn't rush him with final decisions.
Find out what is going on in his life, if he loves his wife immensely and is happy in marriage, and you just “powder your brains”, you should forget such a man and expose him in time. On the contrary, if there is nothing good in this marriage, and the spouses live out of debt, or pity, you have every chance of becoming exactly the one he has been looking for for so long. The most important thing here is not to overdo it! But remember that you should not learn everything from your own words, but, for example, from the words of close friends or other trusted sources, because men tend to lie in order to get sexual release on the side.
You should look dignified, but in no case, do not wear open or overly defiant things, this can scare a man off, and he will think that you are frivolous and windy. At the same time, you must create an image in moderation so that femininity, modesty and the desire of a man is seeking you there remain!
Try to be closer to the man, show what he means to you. Do not be afraid to be yourself, be a defenseless, fragile girl who needs care and protection. Don't be afraid to be sincere and say how you feel about him. If you feel that it will benefit your relationship. Such girls are respected by men for their sincerity and loyalty.
Discreet makeup
If a girl thinks that the more makeup she has on her face, and the brighter her makeup, the better she is, then the guys do not share this point of view. On the contrary, they like calm makeup more, because they love natural beauty. Do not overdo it, because aggressive makeup can alienate a guy from you.
Voice
A girl should remain gentle and light, this applies not only to her appearance and femininity, but also to the ability to communicate with other people. You need to speak in a moderate, calm voice.
Smile
The lightness of the girl is conveyed in her unobtrusive and light smile, which will endear the guy. It should be noted that a smile should be appropriate and sincere, this is the only way it will look natural and beautiful.
In order to make it clear to a guy that you like him, you should look at him openly and not be afraid of his reaction, if he likes you too, he will reciprocate you. Scientists have proven that if the look lasts less than 4 seconds, the girl could not interest him, and she is indifferent to him, if for more than 8 seconds, the guy is definitely not indifferent to you. Eyes are a mirror of the soul, observing his reaction, you can understand how he treats you.
It is worth seeing how he communicates with other girls, is your communication different from others? If yes, and with you he is softer and more caring, then you definitely like the young man.
So how to please a man? Just change in the right direction for the sake of your favorite man, be feminine and well-groomed. And in order to find out whether he liked you, you should pay attention to how a man behaves next to you, because if he is not indifferent, he will try to see you as often as possible. Eye contact is a very sure way to understand how a man treats you and what he will experience for you. Such a "play with the eyes" can tell about his intention to you, and further plans. At first, a man in love will hardly avert his eyes from the girl he likes, from the beauty of her eyes and the charm of the figure, it will be very difficult for him to tear himself away.
The age of love is not a hindrance, do you think? Indeed, you can love at twenty or seventy.
However, will a union be strong, in which the age of the partners differs, and not for one or two years, but at least five years, or even more? Don't ask others how to please a young guy. Just look to your heart for an answer- if you really love a guy, and he loves mutually, you should not worry about any age difference.
Romance
Many psychologists agree that young people are more romantic, since boys and girls have not yet acquired the bitter experience of disappointment, have not lost their youthful maximalism and idealistic outlook on the world. It is possible that the guy has your first love, which means that he will treat you like a fragile vase - carefully and with all the love that is in him. Do not think that he is still young for a serious relationship. This is not the guy's problem, but rather his advantage.
If you are older, behave wiser
You are older, more experienced, wiser, wiser. So behave in an appropriate way, do not throw tantrums, do not swear, be calmer, thereby balancing the emotionality of your boyfriend... You already know that it is better to resolve conflicts at the negotiating table, and not on both sides of the barricades? Great - then turn conflict situations into peaceful conversations to strengthen your relationship.
People tend to change
This is especially noticeable when a person enters into a serious relationship. And the younger he is, the more he tends to change. It will be easier for you to influence your partner, because he will involuntarily agree with you in many ways, you are older, and therefore more experienced. It manifests itself even in little things, in habits. But you need to understand that you cannot change a person by force. You can only influence him so that he changes himself, prompts, advises, gives a positive example, so there are more chances to please a guy younger than himself.
Watch your appearance
Young temperamental guys pay more attention to the appearance of a girl than those who have already managed to form as a person, to become quite experienced and worldly wise. So watch yourself, because your boyfriend can be taken away from under his nose by some fatal beauty, more passionate in bed and more pretty. You are older than most of your lover's friends, which means that you can allow you to look more sexy, sophisticated. A chic lady accompanying a guy will cause envy among other males.
Do not listen to envious people
What to do with gossips? Let them condemn, criticize, you should not listen to this, because your relationship with a guy is your business with him. Is an equal relationship possible only between peers? This is a stereotype, and modern society lends itself easily to stereotypes. Nevertheless, if your friends and good acquaintances criticize your couple, it is worth listening to them. But the decisions must be made by you. Yes, your boyfriend is younger, so he may not be as serious about you as you are about him, and from the outside it may be more noticeable.
Don't focus on age differences
And the last one: do not show your boyfriend that you are wiser than him, that you are better because you are older and more experienced... The main thing is that there is a man next to you, albeit not so mature. Help your loved one become successful, and he will very soon become your prince, your noble knight, wise and just.
How can a man make a "devil in the ribs" if he already has gray hair in his beard? How will he like him if because of him your heart is out of place? Yes Easy!
Take pride in natural beauty
Your main trump card is your youth, and the main thing is not to spoil it with modern fashion. Blindly observing her trends, today's young ladies (yesterday's schoolgirls) are more reminiscent of thirty-year-old aunts. A thick layer of makeup on a thick layer of silicone.
For men who are interested in young girls, the most important thing is their youthful freshness. No, this does not mean that one should forget about grooming: no one has canceled makeup and depilation yet, but deliberately aging oneself - why is it necessary?
If you want to make yourself more mature in this way in order to attract attention and please a man at a respectable age, then you immediately make two mistakes:
You are deprived of exactly what attracts a man: youthful tenderness, touching naivety, and everything that is described in the article.
Choosing for yourself the style of the "mature lady", you still cannot acquire that wisdom and life experience of an adult woman. So you run the risk of looking ridiculous - like a five-year-old girl who spanks in her mother's high-heeled shoes.
Thanks to its freshness, you don't have to go out of your way to seduce an older guy:
Your skin is still firm and soft without any lifting creams and ointments.
Your emotions are natural, and your face is not yet covered with mimic wrinkles.
Your movements and gait are still light, and you don't even need to think about every step.
Even a plump girl at your age is not a fat woman, but an appetizing plump with natural forms, and a thin one is not a dried roach, but a slender doe. You will still have time to run around beauty salons for lifting, but for now, be proud of what nature has rewarded yourself with and do not try to spoil yourself. It is your freshness and naturalness that makes adult men dizzy. Young boys do not notice this yet.
Fears of a mature man and how to eliminate them
Many men find it much easier to communicate with their peers or even older women. It's easier with them - life experience taught them the flexibility of mind in a relationship with a man. Young people, on the other hand, cause concern in such things:
A girl can be materialistic and demanding. Well, it is clear that she needs to be pampered, but sometimes she goes over the edge of reason.
She can easily change. But what about - nature will take its own and the young lady will pull on a young body, full of strength and vigor.
She has a different worldview. This is the difficulty in relations between different generations, especially if a man suits her as a father.
He may have a potency problem. Yes, age makes its own adjustments in the male body, even if the man really wants sex.
So, let's learn with you how to dispel these scary male myths and dangers in order to really please your overage boyfriend.
You shouldn't be greedy
As for commercialism, stop being jealous of these girls from Instagram. They are promoting themselves, and for this they sometimes have to go through such dirty water that they cannot wash themselves in life. If you need to find a "money bag", then do not confuse selling your body to an old man with true love.
The fear of being a "money bag" in men arises from the very beginning of a relationship. If you immediately want a ring and a typewriter, they will quickly tell you "dosvidos".
A man may be in love, but he is not crazy. Unless, of course, he has senile insanity. Therefore, any gift should be accepted with sincere admiration, even if it is a bunch of wildflowers.
What a man cannot be forgiven is boundless greed:
When he accumulates his capital, like Koschey over gold, and at the same time brags about his "frugality", clutching every penny in the piggy bank.
When he sincerely believes that a woman herself should pay for everything: at her own expense in a restaurant, for a taxi back home.
When he even saves on himself, having big bucks like tycoon Harold Hunt from. What then can a woman count on?
Why then would such a man be needed - even if he was old, even if he was young? But otherwise - whims away. Let him look after you and pamper you as best he can. And thanks to your delight, he himself will be drawn to make you happy much more dearly.
Prove to him that you are interested in him
By doing this, you will “kill two birds with one stone”: you will save him from the fear of betrayal and a difference in worldview. A truly in love girl, regardless of the age difference, has absolutely no desire to go out to the left, although jealousy on the part of her boyfriend is not excluded.
What to do in this case? Be completely open:
You have no secrets from your beloved - you can calmly and without fear tell where and when you were.
You don't have passwords on your phone, and you don't run away to whisper with someone on the sidelines on any call.
You are indifferent to your peers - and this is evident from your behavior. They are just naive youths for you.
The main thing is never to take credit for being young and he is old. Firstly, it is tactless, and you can offend your man, and secondly, what is your merit in this? It's just your time to be born. And besides you, all over the world there are hundreds of thousands of the same young and pretty who also like mature men.
As for interests, they can be really different. But if you really want to conquer a grown man, then do not pull the blanket over yourself, but reach for him. This is not diving to the bottom, but on the contrary - you thereby enrich your knowledge in many things.
What you now know is clear to him - he lives in the same world with you. But you did not live in his world, and therefore you do not have such a broad outlook. Let your "adult friend" teach you to expand it, and you listen - attentively and with interest.
The more you penetrate into his world, the more he will like you:
If he is 40-50 years old, then he once listened to disco. No need to say that this is dinosaur music, you just listen with him and you will see that it is much more melodic than the current pop music.
If he is trying to interest himself in his hobbies, then do not take them immediately with hostility. You want to relax on the seaside, but he “in the old fashioned way” wants to go fishing, in a tent and with a backpack in the mountains. Try it - it's cool.
Learn to understand his tastes: he doesn't need smoothies and sushi, he loves fried potatoes with sausage and compote. It is homemade food, when the beloved herself fries in a frying pan and cooks in a saucepan, and does not drag it to McDonald's.
You don't have to try to be a grown woman, with you it should be easy for him in a youthful way! He likes you the way you are, but with your role as a "diligent student", you can bewitch him without any witch attendants.
It remains only to establish a sexual relationship with him. To do this, read,. Yes, there can be breakdowns, and ups and downs, but in any case, everything must be treated with understanding and very tactfully.
Why do you need him
Any relationship starts with flirting. It is with him that seduction must begin. How to do it in three steps - read in. The start has been given, all the methods have worked, and you have managed to attract the attention of a mature man.
If you are driven by greed, then relax - they will quickly figure out you, in your youth you have not yet learned how to cheat competently.
If you want to seduce a married man, then understand the consequences: you will not “kill” hares, but living people - even if morally.
If you are seriously in love, then read, and be happy with him.
But here's the main advice for you - do not do stupid things, trying to bewitch a man through some sorcerers. It's like talking to a talking parrot about philosophy - he knows the words, but he doesn't know their meaning. Likewise, grandmothers with their herbs and spells - all this is quackery, only you will lose money. After all, you are already an enchantress in yourself, thanks to your youth.
Joseph Fanelli
Psychotherapist, teacher specializing in sexuality and relationships.
1. Speak without speaking
Even before you strike up a conversation with a guy, your body will tell him a lot. And the first thing he will notice is how physically attractive you are.
It's not just about beauty. If you are fit and well-built, then you are able to give birth to healthy offspring.
Another important aspect is whether you are showing interest. Hanging around your neck, of course, is not necessary, but subtly hinting that a man has a chance is very desirable.
There are two tricks to show this. First, blink more often, because we naturally start doing this when we're excited. Secondly, lean a little towards the interlocutor: this is also a non-verbal signal of interest.
We like people with whom we have a lot in common. Therefore, your task is to find common ground with the guy you like. For example, you can agree on a love of music, or, if there are few common interests, try to get into what he likes.
At the beginning of your acquaintance, the easiest way to show similarity is to use the chameleon effect.
Try to take the same posture as the man, imitate his movements and gestures, use the words and phrases that he includes in his speech.
It is not worth being an exact and synchronous copy: it is too obvious. Try to predict the movements of the interlocutor or, in general, repeat them after a few seconds.
3. Stay visible
The more often we see a person, the more we like him. Science also confirms this. In one study Proximity and Peership: Bases of Balance in Interpersonal Attraction dormitory residents were asked to rate their attitude towards neighbors. It turned out that the boys and girls liked those who lived nearby: in the neighboring rooms or on the next floors.
In ordinary life, this means that if you and a guy visit the same place (university, courses, gym), then you have a better chance of liking him.
6. Make him a hug fan
When you cuddle, oxytocin is released in the body, which enhances the feeling of closeness. So cuddle with the guy you are interested in when you meet and say goodbye, during joyful moments and just like that.
7. Find what makes you happy
In the end, it all comes down to the fact that interesting people are interested in being together. So don't waste time luring someone into your webs, but keep looking. Happiness and passion are attractive in themselves. Become the one who emits them.
