I want to know everything where to start. Where to start self-development

Everyone has ups and downs in life, and often we blame others for our failures, fate, but we can not see our shortcomings point-blank. In order to change something in the world around you, you need to start, first of all, with yourself.

One day you will ask yourself the question - "where to start working on yourself?" Self-improvement is a delicate matter, you need to approach it very competently so that at one moment you do not have a desire to give up everything.

The wheel of life - as a strong motivation on the path of self-improvement

If you don't know where to start self-development How to choose the right path for yourself, first you need to understand where you are at. The Wheel of Life is a system that helps you analyze your level of success.

To do this, you need to draw a circle, divide it into 8 sectors:

- career and business. Do you enjoy your work?

- finance. Are you satisfied with your salary? Do you have enough funds for material independence?

- friends and entourage. Does your environment help you grow? What do you get from communicating with friends?

- family and love. Is there harmony in your relationships with loved ones?

- health and sports. How good is your health? Would you like to make your body attractive and lose weight?

- entertainment and recreation. Are you organizing your vacation correctly in order to not only recharge your batteries, but also get something useful for yourself?

- education and personal growth. What knowledge have you acquired in order to develop and improve yourself?

- the brightness of life. Are you satisfied with your life? Are there enough bright, memorable moments in it?

Each sector is your life value, which is necessary in order to feel the happiest. Thus, you will put things in order in your goals and you will better understand what you need to strive for. Also, do not forget to write what exactly in each sector you lack for complete happiness.

Each sector must be rated on a 10-point scale. You must be as honest with yourself as possible. No need to look for excuses for your saggy tummy or small salary. Just finally admit to yourself that everything is bad in these areas and you need to do something about it.

After that, connect the points on the scale with a line. If the shape in the center looks like a circle, then you can only be congratulated. You are in complete harmony with yourself and with the world around you.

If you get a curved figure, you can see which sector you need to work on in order to achieve harmony and happiness. Plus, by tidying up one sector, you can positively influence other parts as well.

After analyzing each sector, you must set global goals for yourself, which need to be broken down into several small ones and already strive towards them with confidence. In addition, the goal must be achievable, so be realistic and do not try to become slim, like Angelina Jolie, and find yourself a prince in the person of Brad Pitt.

Keep a diary and write down what you have achieved, every little victory. For example, you have given up on unhealthy but tasty food. Praise yourself for this.

A positive outlook is half the battle

Personal development cannot be achieved without a positive outlook on the future. If you think all the time that you will not achieve anything, that there are no results, thoughts will swarm about giving up everything, you will never achieve anything.

You should meet every day with a smile, rejoice at even the smallest victories, see positive in everything, notice changes in yourself.

Of course, thoughts alone are not enough for human self-development. Actions are important. At first, 30 minutes a day is enough - to read a book, to learn something. You can even just not sit on social networks or watch TV in the evening, and this will already be a victory and the first steps on the way.self-improvement.

Literature for self-improvement

Books for self-development are another step towards improving your personality. There are many primary sources, like the Bible or books on the teachings of Tao, but they will be incomprehensible to many.

There are mass todaybooks for self-development. We present you a list of some of them:

1. Les Hewitt, Jack Canfield and Mark Victor Hansen Life Whole. Will teach you to set realistic goals that are easy to achieve. You will be able to correctly prioritize;
2. Dan Waldschmidt "Be the best version of yourself." This book can drastically change your life. It tells how ordinary people become outstanding;
3. MJ Ryan "This year I ..." This book will be useful to everyone, as it helps to change habits, keep promises made to yourself, and change your life for the better;
4. Brian Tracy "Get out of your comfort zone." Worldwide recognized as the # 1 book on self-development. You will be able to step out of your comfort zone to achieve maximum goals;
5. Kelly McGonigal “Willpower. How to develop and strengthen? " The author believes that willpower is like muscles that need to be pumped and strengthened.

All books have one main meaning - self-development never ends. You can work all your life on the development of your personality, make your life bright and unforgettable. Each of us strives to be better, but this quality must be used competently.

Several rules for self-development

Everyone lives in their comfort zone, and often we are afraid of something new and unknown, which is why it is so difficult, and sometimes scary, to change our lives. The process of self-development must be turned into a habit in order to never go astray.

Where to start self-development? Plan simple steps will help you gradually develop this habit:

- life depends directly on our desires and actions. Nothing is impossible in it. Never tell yourself that something cannot be done, just think about what it takes to make it achievable;

- Divide the path to the main goal into several small ones that are easy to achieve. Once it becomes a habit, you can set more goals for yourself;

- In the evening, think about everything that happened to you during the day. Write down your successes and failures. If you did something wrong or that you didn’t succeed, think about what would change if you did it differently.

Do not forget that self-improvement is a difficult path, but very interesting. If you once decided to change your life, stick to this idea always, and believe that the result will meet all expectations. Always look at life, success and failure with a positive, and then you will definitely succeed.

Self-development. This word can be heard more and more often in modern society. And the word "self-development", as a rule, means such a wide range of activities that people with completely different worldviews, goals, values \u200b\u200band capabilities can engage in self-development. The word "self-development" today means everything from pumping up muscles in the gym to very strange religious rituals. What is "self-development", and most importantly, why do they need to do it at all and how to do it in order to benefit both themselves and others?

In fact, how many people ask themselves the question "Why do you need to engage in self-development?" Self-development is a fashion trend, and the one who is engaged in self-development is a priori considered a self-sufficient person, or aspiring to become one. But one of the main principles of sanity says that before each of our actions, you need to ask yourself why we are doing this and what benefits it will bring.

All living beings (and not only people) in one way or another strive to find happiness and want to avoid suffering. The only difference is that the level and quality of happiness is different for everyone. It is difficult to argue with the fact that the pleasure of tasty (and most often harmful) food and the pleasure of creativity or helping other people - give us a feeling of happiness. But it is already difficult to agree with the fact that this happiness is of the same quality. Firstly, in the case of tasty and unhealthy food, we get pleasure in conjunction with harm to health, and secondly, happiness is short-term, and from the point of view of emotions and sensations, it is rather flat. That is to say, the happiness of the 2D format. What cannot be said about the happiness that we receive from creativity with some kind of positive message or from helping other people - such happiness benefits everyone around, and most importantly, it is more lasting and more emotionally saturated. Well, everything is clear with happiness - the higher its quality, the longer it lasts and brings more joy. But what does this have to do with self-development? The most direct.

The further a person moves along the path of self-development, the higher the level of his happiness becomes and, importantly, the less his happiness depends on external conditions. In the modern world, self-development is most often understood as development at the bodily level, less often on the mental and extremely rarely on the spiritual. Nobody, of course, calls to be inspired by the example of the repentant robber from the famous work of Nekrasov and "put the body to torture", saving the soul. Extremes should be avoided in everything, but the emphasis in self-development only on the bodily level - unfortunately, most often leads to spiritual degradation. And how to determine which path of self-development is harmonious? The main sign that a person is moving in the right direction in terms of self-development is when his happiness becomes less and less dependent on external conditions.

How to do self-development

How to engage in self-development and where to start? As mentioned above, self-development can be at three levels: bodily, mental and spiritual. And if one of these aspects is a priority, and the other two are, as it were, by the way, then such self-development cannot be called harmonious. And one of the main aspects of self-development is motivation. Why does a person strive to become better? To impress others? To please someone? To improve your quality of life? To become more efficient at school, work, sports, family life? If a person's motivation is purely selfish, such development will also not be harmonious. Because the world is so arranged that everything in it is interconnected, and one person cannot become happy when everyone around him - friends, relatives, colleagues, neighbors - is deeply unhappy. And another sign of the right path to development is when the reality around a person begins to change for the better. If a person notices that his self-development is gradually changing the lives of those around him for the better, then he is going the right way. Therefore, before thinking about how to engage in self-development, you must first decide what you need it for.

Therefore, the first thing to do is to make at least some kind of daily routine, or at least exclude the most time-consuming actions that do not bring objective benefits, but are performed rather out of habit. You will be surprised how much free time you will have when you approach each of your actions consciously, honestly wondering what the real benefit is in this action. It will also be helpful to go to bed early and get up earlier. The hormones necessary for a full life are produced from 10 pm to 5 am. And it is advisable to sleep at this particular time. The time before midnight is especially important: there is an opinion that it is at this time that the physical and mental forces of the body are restored, and if this time a person is awake, the body and psyche are exposed to exhaustion.

Next, you should pay attention to nutrition. And this has to do not only with the bodily level: it has long been noticed that the food we consume strongly affects consciousness. And if the diet contains harmful, artificial, refined food, as well as food that is the result of violence against animals - meat, fish, eggs, seafood, and so on - this will have an extremely negative effect on our consciousness. The fact is that in the human body everything is interconnected, and what enters our stomach and intestines is carried by the blood throughout the body and also enters the brain. Could a brain poisoned by some refined food chemicals or the hormones and antibiotics found in meat-based foods work smoothly and efficiently? The question is rhetorical.

What to study for self-development

So, with the initial stage of self-development, everything is clear. It is necessary to adjust the daily routine and nutrition. And even this alone will make you happier and healthier. But this is just the beginning. How to directly engage in self-development? To do this, we need information that at the initial stage will tell us the right path. As mentioned above, self-development is a very fashionable trend in our society, therefore, a lot of books on how to become happy and successful have already been written, and even more will be written in the future. How much can you trust all of them? Let's try to figure it out.

If you observe our society, you can come to the conclusion that the motivations of people in it are often purely selfish. Therefore, any kind of self-development also most often pursues selfish goals - to become healthier, richer, more successful, and, as a rule, at any cost. Therefore, modern books about self-development are mostly written according to the principle “demand creates supply”. If people are much more interested in how to become richer and more successful, how to make a career, and so on, then this is what the majority of literature will be oriented towards. There are, of course, decent books, but, as they say, a spoonful of honey in a barrel of ointment.

What to do? Nobody is calling to stop reading books altogether. There is a simple principle: the text from which we want to draw some information should be time-tested. And, based on this theory, you need to read the most ancient writings, because if the text has already survived several centuries, or even millennia, it is probably not just some kind of pseudo-philosophical writings. From this point of view, the most relevant will be the Vedic scriptures or any scriptures of the world's religions. However, if these are some relatively young texts, then there are also many questions to them. The most interesting in terms of knowing yourself and the world around you will be such texts as, (part of the Mahabharata).

Buddhist scriptures can also be interesting. For example, which is considered the quintessence of the Buddha's Teachings. And the Buddha himself said that this sutra is "the first among all sutras." A very inspiring philosophical text is written by the philosopher-monk Shantideva. At the initial stage, such complex texts can seem difficult to understand. Then you can start with something simpler. For example, many works by Paulo Coelho make you think about life, about its values, about the search for purpose, and so on. The same can be said about the works of many Russian writers from the time of tsarist Russia. Therefore, the choice is incredibly large, and everyone can find what will receive a response in his heart.

How to learn self-development

How to engage in self-development and not "cool down" in a couple of weeks, as often happens? This is due to poor motivation. First, a person “lights up”, and then more and more often he is overcome by doubts: “Why is this necessary, everything is so good, why these efforts?” etc. Therefore, motivation is important. At the initial stage, motivation can be very simple: to improve health, financial situation, relationships with others, and so on. But the fact is that if you have chosen an adequate path of development, then you will achieve these goals very quickly. If you just correct your diet, replacing it with a healthier one, adjust the daily routine and begin to behave more consciously, then, as a rule, problems with health, finances and people around you are mostly quickly resolved. And here, oddly enough, a difficult period arises - what to do next? Suffering has stopped - there is no motivation to move on. And here a person has two paths: he either stops developing (and as you know, if there is no evolution, degradation sets in), or generates a new motivation in his heart - he has a desire to help others on the basis of the experience that he has acquired himself.

When a person embarks on the path of self-development and reaches the level where most of his own suffering has ceased, it means that he can effectively help others. And at this stage there is often a period of fanaticism, when a person seeks to "catch up with everyone and do good to everyone." In principle, this is, one might say, a certain stage of development. Then a person realizes that not everyone needs help and many are happy in all their problems and sufferings and simply do not want to change anything. Therefore, one should not fanatically impose the path of self-development on everyone. But if you see that a person is suffering and is ready to change something, then based on your experience, you can help him. And the motivation to help others - this will also be a new level of development for yourself, which will allow you to move on - to new horizons. In general, for the sake of this, everything was originally started - to develop in order to be effective in helping other people.

Self-development is the most important aspect in the life of any person, but, unfortunately, not everyone is aware of this. Immersed in the daily routine, many of us do not find the time and desire to learn something new, and this often leads to depressing consequences. Nevertheless, in order to achieve real success in your personal life, profession and other areas, constant development is simply necessary.

The main directions of human self-development

If we take into consideration certain directions of personality self-development, then several main paths can be distinguished:

• Mental development - the individual comprehends new knowledge, which gradually forms in him an erudite personality, as well as an interesting interlocutor.
• Aesthetic self-improvement - in-depth study of art. This can include visits to museums, galleries, exhibitions, theaters and other similar places that have a significant impact on the formation of taste and personal opinion.
• Physical development - keeping the body in good shape. Exercise not only has medical benefits for the body, but also improves the appearance.
• Moral - a person studies the norms of tact, good taste. Such knowledge needs to be improved throughout life. Moral guidelines and values \u200b\u200bform a complete personality.
• Professional self-development - technical capabilities are subject to rapid growth, introducing new ideas into the life of society. That is why it is important to remain competitive in the labor market.

Spiritual self-development as a path to oneself

It is also very important to remember that spiritual self-development has a special value in a person's life. Everyone has their own idea of \u200b\u200bwhat spirituality is, and if you analyze the many of these definitions, you can come to the conclusion that people understand several qualities by spirituality: awareness, unconditional love, faith.

A person who is experiencing spiritual growth inevitably faces a change in the picture of the surrounding picture of the world. Such a person manages to find inner balance and see the world and himself in it as he is.

Psychology of personality self-development

Having decided to start the path to yourself through self-development, you will get rid of a lot of life's troubles. It is quite difficult to solve any personal difficulties if you have no idea how to do the right thing and where to go. Starting to cognize the world that surrounds us, we cognize ourselves. Most of us do not live a conscious life, but simply move "with the flow." In turn, a person who is accustomed to self-development avoids many problems, because he has knowledge in various spheres of life, and, often, this saves him from wrong actions and judgments.

To achieve good results in a particular area, it is difficult to do without a specific plan, and this is especially true in the topic of self-development. When you clearly understand what you want from life, and how you can achieve it, then you can say that a significant part of the task is completed. Set goals and go towards them - this is the path of development.

What most often interferes with personal growth

1. Lack of faith in yourself

Often we do not dare to do many things, often for only one reason - we do not believe that in the end we will have a positive result. Meanwhile, faith in yourself is of great importance, and it is she who helps to overcome the most serious difficulties. With this doubt, they act in a completely different way - they ruin our aspirations at the root and do not allow us to get what we want.

2. Laziness

A successful person is not used to putting things off for later. At the same time, lazy people tend to postpone most of the tasks until tomorrow, and often end up completely “forgetting” about their plans. If you mentally look for reasons to reschedule work for another day, then it will not bring anything good. Realize that tomorrow does not exist - you only have today. Your life is a moment in the present.

3. Delaying the implementation of ideas

Even if you have grandiose plans, they mean nothing and bring you nothing until you start to implement them. Moreover, if you have an idea that doesn't work, it can even hurt you. Putting off doing things for another day leads to stress, fear and anxiety - subconsciously you remember a certain incompleteness, and this does not allow you to "breathe freely."

How to make a plan for self-development

First of all, it is important for you to realize what exactly you want to achieve, in which specific areas you need to improve. So where do you start?

1. Analysis

Analyze the various areas of your life, and honestly admit to yourself what exactly does not suit you, what skills you are deprived of. It's important to be objective. Now let's carry out an "audit" in the main aspects.

2. Health, physical data

It is possible that you should get rid of any bad habits, get in good physical shape, switch to proper nutrition, devote more time to sports.

3. Spirituality

Work on this area is necessary if you need to get rid of irritability, anger, anger, envy and other negative emotions.

4. Material sphere

If you are not completely satisfied with your financial situation, then you need to work in this direction. It is possible that you will need to change the field of activity, attend any courses or trainings. result.

5. Social sphere

It is very important to develop the right communication skills that will help you in building your personal life, overcoming conflict situations, in relation to the environment.

6. Personal growth

Perhaps you should pay attention to the development of intelligence, attention, memory, abstract thinking.

After analyzing all these areas, think about which one needs the most careful study, and focus on that first. When you succeed in achieving the desired results, move on to another aspect. You should not try to take on everything at once - so you risk not achieving what you need.

Books are of great importance on the path to new knowledge. You can choose the literature you need both in print and in the form of audio books. Sometimes, a good book can perfectly replace high-quality training, because you will have the opportunity to return to the material covered over and over again and study individual points as much as you wish. Recently, many books on self-development have appeared, and we decided to cover this topic in detail in our other article -. Surely, you can learn a lot of interesting and useful information from the information provided.

List of popular science films and documentaries for self-development that will change your life

BBC - He and She - Relationship Secrets

The project explores gender differences. The experiments involved ten people - five men and five women. The purpose of the experiments is to establish in what key aspects representatives of opposite sexes differ.

The participants in the experiments will have to pass tests that cover various areas of life. In addition, tests for the perception of sounds, coordination of the ability to remember what was seen and much more are assumed. Research is carried out by experienced professionals who can provide a lot of information based on the subjects' handwriting and many other features. The project will not do without a lie detector ...

BBC - Body Chemistry, Hormonal Hell

The film includes various interviews with renowned British scientists, which detail the impact of continuous hormone production on humans. According to the studies, progress forces a person to break the usual biorhythms. From year to year we do not get enough sleep, we devote a lot of time to work, and in general, we significantly break our own regime. What do we end up with? Constant stress, depression, cancer and more. Perhaps breaking this vicious circle and changing something?

Air Force. Human brain

The documentary film tells about how the human brain has to solve a number of complex tasks every day, not inferior in this to the most powerful computers. Once in any environment (queue, public transport, etc.), we involuntarily begin to form a definite opinion about certain people, to make guesses and assumptions. The project will tell about exactly how we establish contact with other people, how our inner world is formed and what happens to our brain. You will find out what hidden possibilities your mind has, and how you can reveal them.

BBC. Human mind

Why is one person familiar with the feeling of danger, while another practically pays no attention to it? How does accumulated experience help us in life? How do children manage to master complex movements? Why do we act one way or another in unsafe situations? The answer to all these questions is hidden in our minds. Our brain is forced to work every second, and, often, we do not even realize it. We do not even suspect how extensive our capabilities are for detailed knowledge of the world around us. The film provides answers to questions about how the human brain works and how we can use this knowledge most effectively.

“Test your brain. Test 1 "

Would you like to know how exactly the sound vibrations of the eardrum and the image on the retina of the eye form the visual series of the reality around us? How does our mind work? By what principle does it select from a large amount of data only those that are most needed at the present time? Our senses have evolved over millions of years, so why can they still be tricked fairly easily? Experienced psychologists, physiologists and neurologists are ready to cover these and many other topics. Find out what secrets your mind hides!

"Peaceful warrior"

A film based on real facts. So, the plot focuses on Dan Millman, a highly talented and successful college gymnast, daydreaming about how one day he will perform at the Olympics. The guy's outlook changes dramatically after he meets a mysterious man who calls himself Socrates. It turns out that the stranger has serious capabilities and is able to open a truly incredible world for Dan. Having survived a serious trauma, the gymnast, with the help of Socrates and a certain girl, comes to the understanding that he still has a lot to comprehend.

"Food Corporation"

A documentary that explores the production of various products. You will learn about how nearly all the grocery products you see on store shelves are made, and you will learn that many of them are unnecessarily overpriced. However, many of the products sold pose a serious threat to your health.

You will learn about how the industrial production of meat takes place - how inhumane it looks, albeit economically. Also, you will probably be surprised by the production of vegetables and grains. You will learn a lot of interesting things about organizations that produce food products that are dangerous to human life.

"The great mystery of water"

Surely, you understand that water is not just a colorless liquid with which we quench our thirst. In this project, you will be told all the secrets of Water - you will learn that it is the carrier of many data! She is able not only to memorize, but also to demonstrate her emotions! The famous Japanese scientist, Emoto Masaru, spent a long period to thoroughly study Water, and he managed to make stunning discoveries! Also, talented scientists from other countries took part in Masaru's experiments, and, for sure, these studies will be able to surprise you.

"Earthlings"

Sean Monson's documentary touches on controversial topics of human abuse of the animal kingdom, as well as the commercial exploitation of wildlife resources.

Bullfights, fur farms, poultry farms, slaughterhouses, whale hunting and much more are no longer a rarity. But is there any moral justification in our time for a person who becomes the initiator of the suffering of other living beings only for the sake of the interests of his own species? Earthlings have long lost contact with the surrounding nature, and this has already begun to bring sad consequences.

Placebo. Solve the mystery "

The project will tell about the most amazing stories that happened in medical practice. The discussion of these incredible cases will be held in Ireland by several experienced scholars. You will learn a lot about the phenomenon doctors call "placebos." This word means self-healing, for which a person needed only faith and the power of thought. In studies of the placebo effect, a significant breakthrough was recently made that has been a shock to the entire medical world. What is the main secret of this amazing effect?

"Forks instead of scalpels"

Colin Campbell has conducted large-scale studies that will tell how exactly diet affects the likelihood of being diagnosed with serious diseases such as cancer, diabetes and others. The study turned out to be truly large-scale - it was carried out for several years, covering one hundred thousand people. As a result of many experiments carried out, which took into account a number of variable factors, it was concluded that a person who consumes large quantities of animal food is seriously susceptible to serious ailments. Why this is happening, and what other stunning facts the scientist gives, you will learn from this project.

"House"

The picture clearly demonstrates to us how beautiful our planet is, as well as what terrible consequences it had to endure after the destructive impact of humanity. The Earth has long suffered from deep scars caused by various wars, industrial production, and global environmental problems. The viewer will finally know what the real situation is on our planet. The creators of the project have visited many countries in order to maximally convey the peculiarities and beauty of the Earth - for sure, you will be surprised how beautiful nature is in some remote corners of the world, and how much harm is done by human activities.

"Secret 1"

In 2006, the Secret project was demonstrated for the first time. Many years have passed since then, but the picture is still making its triumphant march across the Earth, covering many countries. Millions of people who watched the film made interesting conclusions for themselves that dramatically influenced their lives. It is difficult to find a person whom this project has left indifferent. So, what changes have occurred in the outlook and life of the audience who took The Secret seriously? Can a popular documentary really change destiny?

"Secret"

"Master of the World" Nikola Tesla

A film that tells the story of one of the greatest scientists and inventors in the history of mankind. It is about the amazing genius known as Nikola Tesla. A lot of time has passed since the time of his life and death, but to this day there is reason to believe that in many fields this scientist has never been surpassed. At the beginning of the twentieth century in Central Siberia, many people witnessed a fantastic spectacle, which was almost impossible to explain. However, there was a person who knew what happened, because he was directly related to what happened ...

"Why are we burning our lives" Denis Borisov

Many of us do not notice how we spend precious years of our lives on drinking, social networks and other things that only consume time, but do not give any development. The author of the project is ready to tell you how to start the fight against destructive activities that harm our development. How to find the right motivation for this confrontation and is a person able to give up a pastime that has been interesting to him for a long period in a short time? Advice will undoubtedly be of great benefit to people who find it difficult to resist unhealthy temptations.

"The Hunter's Iron Will" Denis Borisov

In his project Denis Borisov will teach you how to achieve significant results in "building" your own body. You will learn about the most important strategies to help you on your path to success. It has long been known that not all people who decide to go to the gym get the desired results. Why it happens? Could it be a lack of motivation, or are these people just missing out on something really important? This video covers absolutely all areas of human life. Why can some people make significant progress in working on themselves and achieving their goals, while others fail? Denis Borisov is ready to cover this topic in detail.

"About treason and betrayal" Denis Borisov

The word "treason" is fraught with much more negative meaning than it might seem at first glance. Is there a difference between treason and betrayal? Why do some people still decide on such actions in relation to their loved ones? Why do some guys and girls start cheating on their lovers? Why are politicians ready to cheat on their voters? Why is this phenomenon so common in friendships? Where does real treason begin? The author of the project will teach you how to understand these issues, as well as use the information received to your advantage.

About Our Consciousness by Dan Dennett

The basis of the documentary project was the philosophy of Dan Dennett, who spent a significant period of his life trying to prove that we are not able to fully understand our consciousness. In addition, according to the philosopher, consciousness often lies to us. These theories are widely known in the philosophical literature, but most of Dennett's colleagues do not support his statements. Be that as it may, the hypothesis also has adherents. Despite the rather harsh criticism, the philosopher does not deviate from his theory, and is ready to tell about its key aspects to a wide audience.

How to Be Happy by Dan Gilbert

Dan Gilbert, who wrote Stumbling on Happiness, confidently challenges the claim that we cannot be happy if we don't get what we truly desire. The philosopher is convinced that a person can well find a feeling of real happiness, even when events in his life unfold in a completely different way from what he wanted. At first glance, it seems that this hypothesis is completely unfounded, but Gilbert is ready to convince you of the truthfulness of his words, giving very convincing arguments. So how do you find happiness in spite of everything?

Why We Make Bad Decisions Dan Gilbert

Surely, you have more than once faced unpleasant situations that were the consequences of your wrong decisions. At such moments, a person realizes that if he acted even a little differently, the result would be much more positive. Many in such cases say that “such is the fate” and do not believe that the negative outcome could have been prevented, but in reality everything is different. We can really improve our lives significantly if we learn not to be led by many factors and make the right decisions. In his project, Dan Gilbert tells how you can come to this.

“Sign language. Body language shapes your personality "

A fascinating project in which experienced social psychologist Amy Cuddy shares with her listeners information about the impact body language can have on a person's life. According to the orator, it is this aspect that largely determines how others perceive us, how we feel ourselves and who we become as a result. Also, Cuddy will show you special poses that you can use when conducting a dialogue with a particular interlocutor. According to the psychologist, there are certain gestures that can help us achieve success. In addition, there are poses that act repulsive to others, and this is also very important to know about.

How to Learn Anything in 20 Hours by Josh Kaufman

It is often difficult for us to take up the development of new knowledge. we believe that this may take too long and will probably leave the case halfway through. In turn, the author of this project is convinced that one should not be afraid of new horizons, because a person can master many disciplines, hobbies and other things, having devoted only 20 hours of his life to this. At first glance, such a statement seems simply incredible, but Josh Kaufman is ready to prove the opposite. Undoubtedly, this extraordinary technique will be useful for many of us!

The Magic of Thought by Keith Berry

Keith Berry has no doubts that the human mind can deceive the body, and in her project she clearly demonstrates this hypothesis. Once you start watching the movie, you will witness some incredible and slightly shocking psychological stunts. According to Berry, for her, mind magic is a kind of magic that is based on amazing methods of reading minds. The author of the project is convinced that using the power of words, non-verbal communication and other techniques, we can achieve stunning results. So how do you learn to manipulate someone else's mind?

"How to Learn Any Language in 6 Months" by Chris Lonsdale

"What Happens in the Heads of Lovers" by Helen Fisher

Professor Helen Fisher, who is the author of several books and many scientific articles, gained popularity after conducting a series of painstaking studies of the behavior of people in love. The anthropologist is convinced that humans have a dual strategy of reproduction. Fisher will also tell you about three patterns of behavior that are ingrained in the human brain. These are aspects such as attraction, romantic love and affection. The professor tells why we choose certain people as partners, and what stages the relationship of lovers goes through.

10 New Facts About Orgasm by Mary Roach

The plot of this documentary project focuses on the research carried out by Mary Roach - the writer has taken up the study of Nature in the most romantic sense of the word. Roach tried to learn as much as possible about the phenomenon of orgasm through many conversations with doctors and scientists. The writer's works are a wonderful chance to discover new facets of your body. After watching the movie, you will learn about such facts as the menstruation of babies, orgasm with eyebrow stimulation, the Lazarus reflex in deceased people and other amazing phenomena. Everything you need to know about orgasm is included in Roach's project.

"The Truth About Health"

From this film you will learn that our body is constantly changing, and this has certain consequences. Different parts of the body have a clearly defined service life, which can change under the influence of certain factors. Also, for sure, you will be interested to know that there is not a single atom left in your body from those that were present at our conception. However, there is something in us that is invariable - information. Find out the whole truth about your own health and how to keep it longer.

Interesting and useful sites for self-development

For self-development, you can not only watch documentaries and get acquainted with the relevant literature. There are many useful sites that can help you reveal new facets of your personality. Let's consider some of them.

Coursera - everyone can find here useful courses that can be taken online. The educational platform works with materials from the world's leading universities.

Universarium - the participants of this large-scale project can get an excellent education by working with the most experienced teachers in Russia and the best Russian universities.

Khan academy - This educational site is completely free. It offers its users over four thousand small lectures covering various disciplines.

Udemy - a resource for those who really want to enrich their own knowledge. The site has been used by over ten million students from around the world. The program included over forty thousand exciting courses.

UNIWEB - the site is engaged in online training for students, collaborating with the best universities. The purpose of the platform is to spread a quality language among Russian-speaking students.

University without borders - using this resource, users can share their knowledge. The Russian-speaking audience fully receives valuable and useful information, regardless of the place of study or work, economic and social status and other aspects.

HTML Academy - the platform will prove to be an extensive source of knowledge for users who want to comprehend all the subtleties of web development.

Lumosity - an indispensable site for those who wish to develop their mental abilities. With the help of a special application, you have the opportunity to take an individual training course that will be useful just for you.

Eduson - the resource offers quality online training for students who want to succeed in business. The courses are taught by renowned professors and established businessmen.

Wikihow - Thousands of users of the World Wide Web have worked on this colorful resource, wanting to create the most useful step-by-step guide. An integral part of the wiki community, thanks to which you can learn a lot of relevant information and learn something new.

HSE Internet School - for those who are interested in courses related to the socio-economic profile, history, mathematics and other subjects.

Lingualeo - learning English can be not only effective, but also fun! By visiting this site, which has already attracted over 12 million people, you will be convinced of this.

Memorado - the creators of this free application call it rather capaciously: "gym for the brain." In this game you will find a large number of different levels containing puzzles of varying degrees of difficulty.

Duolingo - a free site that will help you with language learning and translations. The platform is designed in such a way that after passing the material, users themselves help with translating articles and various documentation.

4brain - a free resource for those who have long wanted to develop the skills of speed reading, extraordinary thinking, oral counting, and so on.

Brainexer - a platform that includes a large number of tests and exercises for attention, memorization, etc. You can pass the tests even if you don't register on the site. Note that the site was created in English, but there is also a translation into Russian.

Memrise - the site uses the most advanced methods of working with memory in order to help visitors to the resource to remember any information with the greatest efficiency.

All10 - With this online trainer, you will learn to blindly type on the keyboard using all ten fingers. The platform will keep your statistics, as well as show the performance rating of other visitors to the resource.

Project gutenberg - in this electronic library you can find many masterpieces of world literature. The site began its existence over forty years ago.

Yandex school - a lot of electronic lectures, the main purpose of which is high-quality training of specialists for the IT industry.

Curious - on this platform, students, teachers and simply talented people have the opportunity to share their own experience with others. In addition, everyone can find additional income on the site.

Sentences - with the help of the resource you will learn to memorize English words faster. also note that the platform includes a system that contributes to greater learning efficiency, as well as tracks the level of language proficiency.

Intuit is a large Russian Internet university that provides an excellent opportunity to get a higher (or second higher) education. In addition, here you can improve your qualifications and undergo professional training.

Lectorium - the platform contains a large number of lectures in Russian that cover a variety of topics. Also here you can find interesting video materials from various scientific conferences.

You can achieve certain results in self-development playfully - in the literal sense of this expression! It is enough to have access to the World Wide Web, and this will allow you at least every day to carry out new interesting tasks that will have a beneficial effect on your skills and various areas of life. With these games, you will achieve significant improvements in concentration, memory, and more. To do this, it is enough to drive the phrase "Games for self-development" into the search engine. You can easily download many of them to your smartphone and devote time to them outside the home - on trips, queues, and so on. You will find many interesting games on some of the sites that we recommended you in this article.

Self-development methods

Check out blogs about self-development

Self-development blogs are regularly updated with new relevant information, and if you periodically look through them, you will certainly be able to find something valuable for yourself. Pick a few blogs that really captivate you and check back periodically for content updates. Of course, it is also worth paying attention to new sites.

Attend trainings and courses for personal growth

Most often, motivation arises when we see examples of other people who have managed to achieve the desired results. By attending various trainings and courses, you will learn more about such people and increase your chances of becoming one of them.

Learn new things and work on yourself

It is impossible to achieve any development without doing painstaking work on yourself. Only by comprehending something new, we take a step forward on the path to our improvement. Analyze all areas of your life and identify your "weak point". Don't be afraid to admit to yourself that some aspects need improvement.

Video online: 10 quick methods of self-development

I made the first attempts to outline my desires by spheres of life in 2011 (I have been keeping all my diaries and notes since 1998 - so I have material evidence and can clearly trace these things ;-)) In 2014, I already set specific goals for self-development - specifically and systemically, in each area. And since 2014, I've been setting goals every year in all areas - and here's why.

2014 the year was a turning point for me. In 12 months: I started traveling and visited three countries (Israel, Crete, Germany), studied at two international schools, learned another language, got a driver's license, a position of a manager at work, met the man of my dreams, got married and under the New year I found out that we will have a baby! It was just a crazy year! And what is interesting - all these changes took place in accordance with the goals that I set in December 2013.

Here's how my life has changed since 2011 by areas:

My example of self-development is not about “successful success”, not about luck and winning the lottery) My story is about how to systematically work on yourself and gradually change all spheres of life, achieve your goals and fulfill your desires: whether it be meeting a loved one, raising for work, traveling the world or changing activities.

And in this article I will share with you not only my example of self-development - but specific tools and techniques that have been tested on personal experience.

1. Where to start self-development: ways, methods, principles, stages.

“Self-development” - how often do we hear this word now ... But what is included in this concept?

In fact, each person puts his own meaning in the concept of "self-development" - depending on what worries him and in what he feels the need to pump himself.

But still, I will try to give a universal definition of the term "self-development" and, on its basis, offer you a plan, directions and stages for self-development.

Self-development is the development of a person in all spheres of life and evolutionary gradual growth, as a result of which a person “sees and understands” more and accordingly improves the quality of his life in all respects.

Very often "self-development" is equated with "personal growth", but this is far from the same thing.

Personal growth is one of the spheres of life (there are 9 of them) in which self-development is carried out. Personal growth is the pumping of personality: personal qualities, character, the development of positive qualities, the fight against bad habits, work with beliefs and attitudes. Other tasks of self-development are distributed in other 8 areas.

Let's remember the main 9 spheres of life - these will be the main directions for self-development:

1. Personal growth and spiritual development
2. Self-realization, career growth
3. Health (nutrition, sports, beauty, personal care)
4. Love, relationships.
5. Home and family (children, relatives)
6. Communication / Environment / Friends
7. Finance and material well-being
8. Leisure / Leisure / Travel
9. Hobbies and hobbies

I.e personal growth is one of the eight directions for self-development, but not its synonym.

Let me make a few clarifications by area. Surely, you noticed that “Love and Relationship” and “Family” are 2 different areas in my schema. This, of course, does not mean that you need to start a relationship on the side of the family)) But this is a call to pay special attention to the husband and relationships with him - to allocate time only for two, to leave the traditional roles of “mom” and “dad” and be just a man and a woman who is genuinely interested in each other, going on dates and interesting events. I have already written special blog articles and continue to develop this topic - for example, etc.)

How to create a personal self-development plan: step by step instructions

In order to start self-development, you first need to answer yourself a number of questions:

• In what direction do I want to develop?
• What do I want?
• What am I dreaming about?

Step 1 – Prescribing a personal formula for a Dream Life

I suggest group dreams into specific areas, which we indicated above.

Why am I suggesting 9 areas? It is such a set of spheres and their uniform filling that is the key to a happy, successful life. Remove one of these areas and life will be incomplete. Many women make the mistake of betting on one or two areas and neglecting the rest - life must be balanced and fulfilled in all areas.

Judge for yourself, will a housewife be completely happy, who put an end to her abilities and talents, which are hiding inside and are torn out?

Will a desperate careerist who works a lot, travels on business trips, but in the evenings returns to an empty cold apartment and does not know the simple human warmth, sincere hugs, the joy of motherhood? ...

Of course, every woman has her own path, her choices, priorities and values. But personally, I was in that and in that role, so I can say for sure that found happiness when she learned combine career and love, self-realization and family and all other areas.

Each sphere is a life support and the basis of personality stability. If 1 sphere fails, the person is supported by all the others and he can withstand difficult periods.

At the same time, it should be recognized: it is impossible to develop all 9 areas evenly and devote the same amount of time to them. And is it necessary? For example, for the spheres of "hobbies", "friends" it is enough to allocate 1-2 hours a week, in contrast to the sphere of "Family", which requires a lot of our attention every day (especially when children appear), you need to devote time every day. The sphere of “health” - although a priority, does not require daily visits to the doctor, if everything is in order with health - it is important to undergo some routine examinations once a year / six months, get rid of bad habits and, ideally, introduce useful ones. How much time is needed for this? Not much, but you need to highlight it - and prescribe specifically what you will do for the “Health (nutrition, sports, beauty, personal care))

In any case, you need prioritize areas of importance to you - and then it will become clear what to pay attention to in the first place, what should not be forgotten and supported as important for you. Otherwise, very often it turns out that we lose sight of some very important things - the same health, family relationships, communication with friends, and then this sphere fails and destroys life ...

I have a special planner in which I can prioritize life areas - planner for defining the formula of the Dream Life. But its main function is to write down your dreams in spheres: this way you create a picture of life that you want to create, which you dream about and which you are going). To download such a planner "Dream Life Formula" in Word format (this is one page in the form of a plate to fill out) - click on the file name

• At the same stage, you can connect visualization : create a "Wish Card" - a collage with beautiful pictures that you want to see in your future life, put an appropriate screensaver on your phone or computer screen - a picture from your dreams. It works, personally tested.
• Use also affirmations - positive affirmations, the repetition of which helps to tune in to the right wave, create a positive attitude. Just please don't repeat someone else's affirmations taken from the internet. Your personal affirmations — tailored to your goals — will work best for you. I wrote how to write personal affirmations in this article.

When the Dream Life Formula planner is complete, consider that your plan for self-development is almost ready.

It remains to add specifics and prescribe an action plan.

Moving on to the next step planning ... Only with a clear plan will you understand what to do and how to act on the way to your dreams, desires and goals.

Step 2. We draw up a plan of self-development for the year

If the Dream Life Formula planner is full, then you have a clear idea of \u200b\u200bwhat you want.

Now we compose Self-development plan on goe - we set specific goals for the areas for the year in accordance with our dreams.

Download and complete the Planner "My goals for the year by areas" (PDF download will start automatically after clicking on the file name)

Print the planner - write your dream goals in the appropriate columns. What is important in this planner is to write down specific steps and set deadlines in special columns.

For example, my goal for a year is to start traveling. What specific steps can I take along the way? Obtain a passport, write a list of countries that I want to visit, subscribe to low-cost publics, monitor housing prices, for example (I wrote in detail about how to plan a trip). Also, setting a goal to “start traveling” will open me up to all travel opportunities - I will strive to get on a business trip, an international school or a conference.

Setting a goal in this other area makes us see the possibility of realizing it, and not look for excuses “why it is impossible”.

I wrote a lot about setting goals for the year, now I will focus on the most important points.

So, important rules when setting goals for the year:

1. TOeach goal must be achievable, specific and have a clear time frame - for this, my year planner has corresponding columns, where you need to write down your goals for specific steps and set deadlines for their implementation. This is the foundation in goal setting and without it - nowhere.

Everyone has their own threshold of “real and achievable”, of course, and our inner ceiling rests on beliefs and attitudes - of course, we also need to work with this, but that's another story.

2. Do not spray! Don't set too many goals in each area - 1-2, a maximum of 3 goals for each area will be enough. I confess that I have such a sin - I want to be in time as much as possible: I set a lot of goals, and then I chase them all year. Yes, you can live like that - but not for long)) A year, two, maximum three. Then comes exhaustion, apathy and personal crises. So fewer goals are better, slower growth - but better quality, for pleasure, with sense and arrangement.

In fact, my most successful plan contained one specific goal in each area - that is, 9 goals for the year.

9 achieved annual goals in each area - this is a revolution in life.

3... Set goals in a good mood and confident that everything will work out. You need to work on your goals in an optimal state - when you are rested, full of energy and in a good mood - this is true, important! Somehow I disregarded this rule and set goals when I was tired in the state of “squeezed lemon” - and the goals turned out to be the same: pulled out of myself by ticks, not particularly inspiring and not motivating ... Therefore, it is better to take time out for yourself in a calm atmosphere, pour a cup of tea / coffee and calmly plunge into the design of your future for an hour or two.

4. Internal readiness for goals. When you set goals, it is important to feel that you have the strength and energy to achieve them, that you are ready to open the doors and let changes in your life! Many set goals for themselves - and at the same time, they seem to doubt that it is possible for them, is real and even afraid of change, they are not completely sure that they need it ... So the task is to set exactly such “necessary goals” - if you are 100% confident % that you need it, you deserve it.

5. Build your confidence and allow yourself to have what you really dream of. Ask yourself a question "What do I deserve ?!"

This question at one time brought me a lot of discoveries and gave me the courage to set goals and dreams, from which my knees were shaking. But I knew for sure that I deserved it - and even thought

“Why don't I have this yet ?! It should already be - it's so obvious that I deserve it! ”))

Such a wild confidence that you will have everything that you deserve works wonders !!! All my goals were achieved then - with what, in the easiest way))

I wrote in more detail about setting goals for the year here:

Step 3. Break down the goals for the year by specific steps

When you're ready a clear step-by-step plan for self-development - break down the annual goals by quarter and month.

Next to each goal, list when you are going to work on it. It is impossible to run towards all annual goals at the same time - but it is possible to move gradually and in turn towards each one: after all, there are 12 months in a year.

The task of this stage of working with goals is to distribute goals by seasons and outline for yourself which goals are better to work out in the summer, which ones - in winter, autumn, spring.

The block planner can be downloaded here

And every month we make self-development plan for a month. In my blog you will find special planner for every month - with a calendar, tables “Personal balance, List to do, Wish List.

I guarantee that if you make a plan every month according to this scheme and adhere to it, you will achieve great results, maintaining a balance in all areas of life.

Every month I blog a new planner to work on myself and my goals. Leave your email address - if you want to receive such planners for every month.

Hello dear readers! Welcome to the blog!

Self-development and self-improvement - where to start? An article answering this question will be short and extremely practical.

I congratulate you - if you ask this question, then you have already decided to change yourself and your life for the better. We decided, then we have already started! The main thing is not to stop so as not to lose inspiration. It is important to start acting right away so that everything does not end with just reading useful advice and “doing nothing again”.

To prevent this from happening, so that you start to act, here is the BEST MOTIVATING PHRASE especially for you: "You are not eternal!"

Best motivating phrase

The famous businessman and writer from the United States Gary Vaynerchuk, at one of the meetings, spoke about his favorite phrase, which he repeats every day when he wakes up. It enables him to remember the most important things in life, and not be distracted by trifles.

This phrase consists of only three words: "You are not eternal." This does not mean that they immediately want to scare you. Not at all. It means only one thing - if you want to be a happy person, then for this you have only one life. Nobody will give you and me another one. So, don't be discouraged, lie on the couch and feel sorry for yourself! Take action and you will see how everything changes around.

I want to tell you right away that each of us just a few years to build the life we \u200b\u200bdreamed of... You can become better, smarter, more positive, learn new languages, start discovering other countries, do something useful for others.

It is this phrase "you are not eternal" that should raise you in the morning and force you to give all your best to the fullest.

And know no matter how old you are: 20, 30, 40, 50, 60 or 70! It's never too late to start a new, interesting, meaningful life!

Self-development and self-improvement - where to start?

You need to start with the fact that audit your life, because you already have achievements. There is no need to be upset if you set yourself some goal, and having achieved it, you realized that it was a waste of time (for example, you set a goal to graduate from the institute, but it turned out that it was not needed). There is a wonderful Japanese proverb: "If you don't try, you won't know!"

Next, you need to make up the actions that you need to perform every day. Do not think that self-development will be difficult. Learning new things is incredibly interesting and exciting. You will notice that interesting people start to appear around you. You will have new opportunities. As you acquire new knowledge, your life, your environment will begin to change for the better.

Action plan

• Write a list of goals (from the article you will learn the most popular 50 goals of people from different countries, what are the goals and how to make a list of them). Only a bright, interesting goal can serve as a real motivation for action, for example, it is DIFFICULT to get up early in the morning, TO GO TO YOUR LOVED JOB, and to get up early in the morning, IF WAITING FOR A TAXI THAT WILL TAKE TO THE AIRPORT TO TRAVEL TO THAILAND, IT IS VERY EASY!
• Start reading books, be sure to every day... Books on self-development, motivation, business and art. It is fiction books that will become the main source of knowledge and wisdom for self-development and self-improvement. Where can I get the time? In fact, there is time. Instead of liking pictures on social media, read for an hour. Plus, you can listen to books on the way to work and back (download audiobooks). Where can I get the list?
  • Here .
  • You also need a list of books worth reading for self-development and self-motivation. Here a list of books for self-development and personal growth.
• Be sure to start learning languages. So your opportunities to learn something new will expand, you will start reading books in the original language. It will be very helpful in learning - watching films or cartoons in a foreign language. In this article I have prepared for you.
• Be sure to start keeping a Personal Diary. In it you will write down your ideas, dreams, plans, describe your feelings. You can make or buy a beautiful Diary. For example, I prefer to keep a paper diary. But it can also be done electronically. Here are the best mobile apps for Personal Diary - Penzu, Diaro.
• Subscribe to brain training sitesthat will make you smarter and more intelligent, will make you a genius through tests and exercises. Here is a list of such sites 4brain, Wikiumand others like that.
• Determine your purpose, your life's work, start your own business, and not sit your pants on an unloved job.

  In this video, the instruction of the famous psychologist, trainer Pavel Kochkin, "How to find yourself (7 stages)." By answering all the questions, you will understand where you are stuck and how to move on.

• Sign up for one of the online courses in free online training coursesCoursera ... These are courses taught by professors from the most renowned universities in the world. Many of the courses have already been translated into Russian. If you strive for excellence, it is important for you to become a professional in your field - the best photographer, marketer, programmer, etc. - the Course has training in all areas of activity.
• Follow new trends, business ideas, advances in science, technology.In order to know a lot, I recommend these sites:
  • Bbc future - IT news, news of modern technologies.
  • Postnauka.ru - educational site, science and technology news.
  • 99U - a channel about productivity and leadership.
  • YouTube EDU - an educational YouTube channel with useful info.
• Start reading books on personal finance... This is an important part of self-development and self-education. Unfortunately, this is not taught in our schools. I wrote in detail about where to get this knowledge.
• Start reading the Bible, this is the Book of Books from which all writers, philosophers and scientists draw their knowledge and inspiration. You need to know her too. If it is difficult to read yourself, there is free orthodox courses . Spirituality is a very important aspect in self-development, self-knowledge and self-improvement.

Summary

Together with you, we answered the question: where to start in the matter of self-development and self-improvement? We made a plan for what actions to take for personal growth.

How to keep up with everything? To accomplish all this, I write down the days of the week in my diary, for example, English on Tuesdays and Fridays, an online course in Kurser on Mondays and Fridays, books to read (or listen to) every day, and so on. In short, set aside 1-3 hours a day to study all these areas of knowledge.

I also want to add the following. I am a happy person and I enjoy helping others become happier. Let me tell you my little secret: I noticed that if you want to be surrounded by happy people, you need to become happy yourself. To become happy yourself, you need to do what you love, be inquisitive, learn more and more thoughts, ideas, worlds, countries, help others, love people and be able to appreciate what you have. To be happy, it is important not to lie, but to act. And to act, you do not need to postpone everything for later. Then you won't have time to do everything.

Each of you has only one life, and no one will give you a few more. So, do not sit, stuck in a phone or TV set, do not feel sorry for yourself and do not get depressed. There are so many interesting things around: interesting books, new knowledge, new countries, new meetings! Take action and then you can succeed.

Anyone can become whatever he wants. Watch this inspirational video and get started:

I am sure that you will definitely succeed!