Come up with a funny story. Funny poems and stories
How the boy Yasha climbed everywhere
The boy Yasha always liked to climb everywhere and climb into everything. As soon as some suitcase or box was brought, Yasha immediately found himself in it.
And he climbed into all sorts of bags. And in closets. And under the tables.
Mom often said:
- I'm afraid, I'll come with him to the post office, he will get into some empty parcel, and he will be sent to Kyzyl-Orda.
He got very good for it.
And then Yasha new fashion took - began to fall from everywhere. When the house was heard: "Uh!" - everyone understood that Yasha had fallen from somewhere. And the louder the "uh" was, the greater was the height from which Yasha flew.
For example, mom hears:
- Eh! - so it's no big deal. This Yasha just fell off the stool.
If you hear:
- Eee! - so it's a very serious matter. It was Yasha who plopped down from the table. I need to go and look at his bumps. And on a visit, Yasha climbed everywhere, and even tried to climb on the shelves in the store.
One day my dad said:
- Yasha, if you climb somewhere else, I don’t know what I will do with you. I'll tie you to the vacuum cleaner with ropes. And you will walk everywhere with a vacuum cleaner. And you will go to the store with your mother with a vacuum cleaner, and in the yard you will play in the sand tied to a vacuum cleaner.
Yasha was so frightened that after these words he did not climb anywhere for half a day. And then, nevertheless, he climbed onto the table with his dad and crashed together with the phone. Dad took it and actually tied it to a vacuum cleaner.
Yasha walks around the house and the vacuum cleaner follows him like a dog. And he goes to the store with his mother with a vacuum cleaner, and plays in the yard. Very uncomfortable. Neither you climb the fence, nor ride a bicycle.
But Yasha learned to turn on the vacuum cleaner. Now instead of "uh" constantly began to be heard "uu".
As soon as mom sits down to knit socks for Yasha, when all of a sudden all over the house - "oooooo." Mom is jumping up and down.
We decided to make a good deal. Yasha was untied from the vacuum cleaner. And he promised not to climb anywhere else. Papa said:
- This time, Yasha, I will be stricter. I'll tie you to a stool. And I'll nail the stool to the floor with nails. And you will live with a stool, like a dog in a booth.
Yasha was very afraid of such a punishment.
But just then a very wonderful case turned up - they bought a new wardrobe.
First, Yasha climbed into the closet. He sat in the closet for a long time, banging his forehead against the walls. This is an interesting thing. Then he got bored and got out.
He decided to climb into the closet.
Yasha moved to the closet dinner table and climb on it. But he did not reach the top of the cabinet.
Then he put a light chair on the table. He climbed onto the table, then onto a chair, then onto the back of a chair, and began to climb onto the closet. Already half gone.
And then the chair slipped out from under his foot and fell to the floor. But Yasha remained half on the closet, half in the air.
Somehow he climbed onto the closet and fell silent. Try telling your mom
- Oh, mom, I'm sitting on the closet!
Mom will immediately transfer him to a stool. And he will live like a dog all his life near a stool.
Here he sits and is silent. Five minutes, ten minutes, five more minutes. All in all, almost a month. And Yasha slowly began to cry.
And mom hears: Yasha can’t hear something. And if Yasha is not heard, then Yasha is doing something wrong. Either he chews matches, or he climbed into the aquarium knee-deep, or he draws Cheburashka on his father's papers.
Mom became in different places glance. And in the closet, and in the nursery, and in my father's office. And everything is in order: dad works, the clock is ticking. And if there is order everywhere, then something difficult must have happened to Yasha. Something extraordinary.
Mom screams:
- Yasha, where are you?
Yasha is silent.
- Yasha, where are you?
Yasha is silent.
Then my mother began to think. He sees a chair on the floor. He sees that the table is not in place. He sees - Yasha is sitting on the closet.
Mom asks:
- Well, Yasha, are you going to sit on the closet all your life or will we get down?
Yasha doesn't want to go down. He is afraid that he will be tied to a stool.
He says:
- I won't get down.
Mom says:
- Okay, let's live on the closet. Now I'll bring you lunch.
She brought soup to Yasha in a bowl, a spoon and bread, and small table, and a stool.
Yasha had lunch on the cupboard.
Then his mother brought him a pot on the closet. Yasha was sitting on the potty.
And in order to wipe his ass, my mother had to get up on the table herself.
At this time, two boys came to visit Yasha.
Mom asks:
- Well, should you give Kolya and Vitya a closet?
Yasha says:
- Submit.
And then dad couldn’t stand it from his office:
- Now I myself will come to visit him on the closet. Yes, not one, but with a strap. Take it out of the closet immediately!
They took Yasha out of the closet, and he says:
- Mom, I didn’t get off because I’m afraid of stools. My dad promised to tie me to a stool.
“Oh, Yasha,” says mom, “you are still small. You don't understand jokes. Go play with the guys.
And Yasha understood jokes.
But he also understood that dad did not like to joke. He can easily tie Yasha to a stool. And Yasha did not climb anywhere else.
How the boy Yasha ate badly
Yasha was good to everyone, he just ate badly. All the time with concerts. Either mom sings to him, or dad shows tricks. And he gets along:
- Do not want.
Mom says:
- Yasha, eat porridge.
- Do not want.
Papa says:
- Yasha, drink juice!
- Do not want.
Mom and dad got tired of persuading him every time. And then my mother read in one scientific pedagogical book that children should not be persuaded to eat. It is necessary to put a plate of porridge in front of them and wait for them to get hungry and eat everything.
They put, put plates in front of Yasha, but he does not eat and does not eat anything. He doesn't eat meatballs, soup, or porridge. He became thin and dead, like a straw.
- Yasha, eat porridge!
- Do not want.
- Yasha, eat soup!
- Do not want.
Previously, his pants were hard to fasten, but now he dangled completely freely in them. It was possible to launch another Yasha into these pants.
And then one day he blew strong wind. And Yasha played on the site. He was very light, and the wind rolled him around the site. Rolled up to the wire mesh fence. And there Yasha got stuck.
So he sat, pressed against the fence by the wind, for an hour.
Mom calls:
- Yasha, where are you? Go home with the soup to suffer.
But he doesn't go. He is not even heard. He not only became dead himself, but his voice became dead. Nothing is heard that he squeaks there.
And he squeaks:
- Mom, take me away from the fence!
Mom began to worry - where did Yasha go? Where to look for it? Yasha is not seen and not heard.
Dad said this:
- I think our Yasha was rolled away somewhere by the wind. Come on, mom, we'll take the pot of soup out onto the porch. The wind will blow and the smell of soup will bring to Yasha. On this delicious smell, he will crawl.
So they did. They carried the pot of soup out onto the porch. The wind carried the smell to Yasha.
As soon as Yasha smelled the smell of delicious soup, he immediately crawled to the smell. Because he was cold, he lost a lot of strength.
He crawled, crawled, crawled for half an hour. But he reached his goal. He came to the kitchen to his mother and how he immediately eats a whole pot of soup! How to eat three cutlets at once! How to drink three glasses of compote!
Mom was amazed. She didn't even know whether to be happy or upset. She says:
- Yasha, if you eat like this every day, I won’t have enough food.
Yasha reassured her:
– No, Mom, I don’t eat so much every day. I correct past mistakes. I bubu, like all children, eat well. I'm a completely different boy.
I wanted to say "I will", but he got "boob". Do you know why? Because his mouth was full of apples. He couldn't stop.
Since then, Yasha has been eating well.
How the boy Yasha stuffed everything into his mouth
The boy Yasha had such a strange habit: whatever he sees, he immediately drags it into his mouth. He sees a button - in his mouth. He sees dirty money - in his mouth. He sees a nut lying on the ground - he also tries to stuff it into his mouth.
- Yasha, this is very harmful! Well, spit out this piece of iron.
Yasha argues, does not want to spit it out. He has to force it all out of his mouth. Houses began to hide everything from Yasha. And buttons, and thimbles, and small toys, and even lighters. There is simply nothing to put in a person's mouth.
And what about on the street? You can't clean everything on the street ...
And when Yasha comes, dad takes tweezers and takes everything out of Yasha's mouth:
- A button from a coat - one.
- Beer cork - two.
- A chrome-plated screw from a Volvo car - three.
One day my dad said:
- Everything. We will treat Yasha, we will save Yasha. We'll cover his mouth with adhesive tape.
And they really began to do so. Yasha is going out into the street - they will put on a coat on him, tie his shoes, and then they shout:
- And where did the adhesive plaster go?
When the adhesive plaster is found, they will attach such a strip to Yasha for half a face - and walk as much as you want. You can't put anything in your mouth anymore. Very comfortably.
Only for parents, not for Yasha. What about Yasha? The children ask him:
- Yasha, are you going to swing?
Yasha says:
- On what swing, Yasha, on a rope or wooden one?
Yasha wants to say: “Of course, on ropes. What am I, a fool?
And he gets:
- Boo-boo-boo-boo. For bubah?
- What? the children ask.
- For bubah? - says Yasha and runs to the ropes.
One girl, very pretty, with a runny nose, Nastya, asked Yasha:
- Yafa, Yafenka, will you come to me for a birth day?
He wanted to say: "I'll come, of course."
But he replied:
- Boo-boo-boo, bonefno.
Nastya how to cry:
- Is he teasing Fego?
And Yasha was left without Nastya's birthday.
And they gave me ice cream.
But Yasha never brought home any more buttons, nuts, or empty perfume bottles.
Once Yasha came from the street and firmly told his mother:
- Baba, by bobo not bubu!
And although Yasha had a band-aid on his mouth, his mother understood everything.
And you guys understood everything he said too. Truth?
How the boy Yasha with one girl decorated themselves
Once Yasha and his mother came to visit another mother. And this mother had a daughter, Marina. The same age as Yasha, only older.
Yasha's mother and Marina's mother got down to business. They drank tea, changed children's clothes. And the girl Marina Yasha called into the hallway. And says:
- Come on, Yasha, play at the hairdresser's. To a beauty salon.
Yasha immediately agreed. Whenever he heard the word “play”, he threw everything: porridge, books, and a broom. He even broke away from cartoons if he needed to play. And he never even played at the hairdresser's.
So he immediately agreed:
She and Marina installed daddy's swivel chair, near the mirror, and sat Yasha on it. Marina brought a white pillowcase, wrapped Yasha with a pillowcase and said:
- How to cut your hair? Leave the temples?
Yasha says:
- Of course, leave. And you can not leave.
Marina got down to business. She big scissors I cut off everything superfluous from Yasha, left only the temples and tufts of hair that were not cut off. Yasha became like a tattered pillow.
- Refresh you? Marina asks.
Refresh, says Yasha. Although he is so fresh, still quite young.
Marina cold water she took it into her mouth as she sneers at Yasha. Yasha screams:
Mom doesn't hear anything. Marina says:
- Oh, Yasha, you don’t have to call your mother. You better cut my hair.
Yasha did not refuse. He also wrapped Marina in a pillowcase and asked:
- How to cut your hair? Do you want to leave some pieces?
“I need to wind up,” says Marina.
Yasha understood everything. He took his father's chair by the handle and began to twist Marina.
Twisted, twisted, even began to stumble.
- Enough? he asks.
– What is enough? Marina asks.
- Wind up.
“Enough,” says Marina. And disappeared somewhere.
Then Yasha's mother came. She looked at Yasha and screamed:
"God, what have they done to my child?!"
“It was Marina and I who played at the hairdresser’s,” Yasha reassured her.
Only mother was not happy, but terribly angry and quickly began to dress Yasha: to stuff it into a jacket.
- And what? Marina's mother says. - He got a good haircut. Your child is simply unrecognisable. A completely different boy.
Yasha's mother is silent. Unrecognizable Yasha fastens.
The mother of the girl Marina continues:
- Our Marina is such an inventor. Always comes up with something interesting.
- Nothing, nothing, - says Yasha's mother, - the next time you come to us, we will also come up with something interesting. We " Quick repair clothes "we will open or a dyeing workshop. You don't recognize your child either.
And they quickly left.
At home, Yasha and from dad flew in:
- It's good that you didn't play dentist. And then you would be with me Yafa bef zubof!
Since then, Yasha chose his games very carefully. And he was not angry at Marina at all.
How the boy Yasha climbed everywhere
The boy Yasha always liked to climb everywhere and climb into everything. As soon as some suitcase or box was brought, Yasha immediately found himself in it.
And he climbed into all sorts of bags. And in closets. And under the tables.
Mom often said:
I'm afraid I'll come with him to the post office, he will get into some empty parcel, and he will be sent to Kyzyl-Orda.
He got very good for it.
And then Yasha took a new fashion - he began to fall from everywhere. When it was distributed in the house:
Uh! - everyone understood that Yasha had fallen from somewhere. And the louder the “uh” was, the greater was the height from which Yasha flew. For example, mother hears:
Uh! - so it's no big deal. This Yasha just fell off the stool.
If you hear:
Uh-uh-uh! That means it's a very serious matter. It was Yasha who plopped down from the table. I need to go and look at his bumps. And on a visit, Yasha climbed everywhere, and even tried to climb on the shelves in the store.
One day my dad said:
Yasha, if you climb somewhere else, I don't know what I'll do with you. I'll tie you to the vacuum cleaner with ropes. And you will walk everywhere with a vacuum cleaner. And you will go to the store with your mother with a vacuum cleaner, and in the yard you will play in the sand tied to a vacuum cleaner.
Yasha was so frightened that after these words he did not climb anywhere for half a day.
And then, nevertheless, he climbed onto the table with his dad and crashed together with the phone. Dad took it and actually tied it to a vacuum cleaner.
Yasha walks around the house, and the vacuum cleaner follows him like a dog. And he goes to the store with his mother with a vacuum cleaner, and plays in the yard. Very uncomfortable. Neither you climb the fence, nor ride a bicycle.
But Yasha learned to turn on the vacuum cleaner. Now instead of "uh" constantly began to be heard "uu".
As soon as mom sits down to knit socks for Yasha, when all of a sudden all over the house - "oooooo." Mom is jumping up and down.
We decided to make a good deal. Yasha was untied from the vacuum cleaner. And he promised not to climb anywhere else. Papa said:
This time, Yasha, I will be stricter. I'll tie you to a stool. And I'll nail the stool to the floor with nails. And you will live with a stool, like a dog in a booth.
Yasha was very afraid of such a punishment.
But just then a very wonderful case turned up - they bought a new wardrobe.
First, Yasha climbed into the closet. He sat in the closet for a long time, banging his forehead against the walls. This is an interesting thing. Then he got bored and got out.
He decided to climb into the closet.
Yasha moved the dining table to the closet and climbed on it. But he did not reach the top of the cabinet.
Then he put a light chair on the table. He climbed onto the table, then onto a chair, then onto the back of a chair, and began to climb onto the closet. Already half gone.
And then the chair slipped out from under his foot and fell to the floor. But Yasha remained half on the closet, half in the air.
Somehow he climbed onto the closet and fell silent.
Try telling your mom
- Oh, mom, I'm sitting on the closet!
Mom will immediately transfer him to a stool. And he will live like a dog all his life near a stool.
Here he sits and is silent. Five minutes, ten minutes, five more minutes. All in all, almost a month. And Yasha slowly began to cry.
And mom hears: Yasha can’t hear something.
And if Yasha is not heard, then Yasha is doing something wrong. Either he chews matches, or he climbed into the aquarium knee-deep, or he draws Cheburashka on his father's papers.
Mom began to look in different places. And in the closet, and in the nursery, and in my father's office. And everything is in order: dad works, the clock is ticking. And if there is order everywhere, then something difficult must have happened to Yasha. Something extraordinary.
Mom screams:
Yasha, where are you?
Yasha is silent.
Yasha, where are you?
Yasha is silent.
Then my mother began to think. He sees a chair on the floor. He sees that the table is not in place. He sees - Yasha is sitting on the closet.
Mom asks:
Well, Yasha, are you going to sit on the closet for the rest of your life or are we going to climb down?
Yasha doesn't want to go down. He is afraid that he will be tied to a stool.
He says:
I won't get down.
Mom says:
Okay, let's live on the closet. Now I'll bring you lunch.
She brought Yasha soup in a bowl, a spoon and bread, and a small table and a stool.
Yasha had lunch on the cupboard.
Then his mother brought him a pot on the closet. Yasha was sitting on the potty.
And in order to wipe his ass, my mother had to get up on the table herself.
At this time, two boys came to visit Yasha.
Mom asks:
Well, should you give Kolya and Vitya a closet?
Yasha says:
Serve.
And then dad couldn’t stand it from his office:
Now I myself will come to visit him on the closet. Yes, not one, but with a strap. Remove it from the cabinet immediately.
They took Yasha out of the closet, and he says:
Mom, I didn’t get off because I’m afraid of stools. My dad promised to tie me to a stool.
Eh, Yasha, - says mom, - you are still small. You don't understand jokes. Go play with the guys.
And Yasha understood jokes.
But he also understood that dad did not like to joke.
He can easily tie Yasha to a stool. And Yasha did not climb anywhere else.
How the boy Yasha ate badly
Yasha was good to everyone, he just ate badly. All the time with concerts. Either mom sings to him, or dad shows tricks. And he gets along:
Do not want.
Mom says:
Yasha, eat porridge.
Do not want.
Papa says:
Yasha, drink juice!
Do not want.
Mom and dad got tired of persuading him every time. And then my mother read in one scientific pedagogical book that children should not be persuaded to eat. It is necessary to put a plate of porridge in front of them and wait for them to get hungry and eat everything.
They put, put plates in front of Yasha, but he does not eat and does not eat anything. He doesn't eat meatballs, soup, or porridge. He became thin and dead, like a straw.
Yasha, eat porridge!
Do not want.
Yasha, eat soup!
Do not want.
Previously, his pants were hard to fasten, but now he dangled completely freely in them. It was possible to launch another Yasha into these pants.
And then one day a strong wind blew.
And Yasha played on the site. He was very light, and the wind rolled him around the site. Rolled up to the wire mesh fence. And there Yasha got stuck.
So he sat, pressed against the fence by the wind, for an hour.
Mom calls:
Yasha, where are you? Go home with the soup to suffer.
But he doesn't go. He is not even heard. He not only became dead himself, but his voice became dead. Nothing is heard that he squeaks there.
And he squeaks:
Mom, take me away from the fence!
Mom began to worry - where did Yasha go? Where to look for it? Yasha is not seen and not heard.
Dad said this:
I think our Yasha was blown away somewhere by the wind. Come on, mom, we'll take the pot of soup out onto the porch. The wind will blow and the smell of soup will bring to Yasha. On this delicious smell, he will crawl.
So they did. They carried the pot of soup out onto the porch. The wind carried the smell to Yasha.
Yasha, as soon as he smelled the smell of delicious soup, immediately crawled to the smell. Because he was cold, he lost a lot of strength.
He crawled, crawled, crawled for half an hour. But he reached his goal. He came to the kitchen to his mother and how he immediately eats a whole pot of soup! How to eat three cutlets at once! How to drink three glasses of compote!
Mom was amazed. She didn't even know whether to be happy or upset. She says:
Yasha, if you eat like this every day, I won't have enough food.
Yasha reassured her:
No, mom, I don't eat that much every day. I correct past mistakes. I bubu, like all children, eat well. I'm a completely different boy.
I wanted to say "I will", but he got "boob". Do you know why? Because his mouth was full of apples. He couldn't stop.
Since then, Yasha has been eating well.
How the boy Yasha stuffed everything into his mouth
The boy Yasha had such a strange habit: whatever he sees, he immediately drags it into his mouth. He sees a button - in his mouth. He sees dirty money - in his mouth. He sees a nut lying on the ground - he also tries to stuff it into his mouth.
Yasha, this is very harmful! Well, spit out this piece of iron.
Yasha argues, does not want to spit it out. He has to force it all out of his mouth. Houses began to hide everything from Yasha.
And buttons, and thimbles, and small toys, and even lighters. There is simply nothing to put in a person's mouth.
And what about on the street? You can't clean everything on the street ...
And when Yasha comes, dad takes tweezers and takes everything out of Yasha's mouth:
Coat button - one.
Beer cork - two.
A chrome-plated screw from a Volvo car - three.
One day my dad said:
Everything. We will treat Yasha, we will save Yasha. We'll cover his mouth with adhesive tape.
And they really began to do so. Yasha is going out into the street - they will put on a coat on him, tie his shoes, and then they shout:
And where did the adhesive plaster go?
When the band-aid is found, they will glue such a strip to Yasha on half a face - and walk as much as you want. You can't put anything in your mouth anymore. Very comfortably.
Only for parents, not for Yasha.
What about Yasha? The children ask him:
Yasha, are you going to swing?
Yasha says:
On what swing, Yasha, on a rope or wooden one?
Yasha wants to say: “Of course, on ropes. What am I, a fool?
And he gets:
Boo-boo-boo-by. For bubah?
What? the children ask.
For bubah? - says Yasha and runs to the ropes.
One girl, very pretty, with a runny nose, Nastya asked Yasha:
Yafa, Yafenka, will you come to me for a birth day?
He wanted to say: "I'll come, of course."
But he replied:
Boo-boo-boo, bonefno.
Nastya how to cry:
Whego is he teasing?
And Yasha was left without Nastya's birthday.
And they gave me ice cream.
But Yasha never brought home any more buttons, nuts, or empty perfume bottles.
Once Yasha came from the street and firmly told his mother:
Baba, by bobo not bubu!
And although Yasha had a band-aid on his mouth, his mother understood everything.
And you guys understood everything he said too. Truth?
As a boy, Yasha ran in stores all the time
When mother came to the store with Yasha, she usually held Yasha by the hand. And Yasha got out all the time.
At first, it was easy for mother to hold Yasha.
She had free hands. But when she had purchases in her hands, Yasha got out more and more.
And when he got out completely, he began to run around the store. First across the store, then along, farther and farther.
Mom caught him all the time.
But one day my mother's hands were completely occupied. She bought fish, beets and bread. It was then that Yasha ran away. And how it will crash into one old woman! Grandma sat down.
And my grandmother had a half-rag suitcase with potatoes in her hands. How the suitcase will open! How the potatoes crumble! They began to collect her whole store for her grandmother and put them in a suitcase. And Yasha also began to bring potatoes.
One uncle was very sorry for the old woman, he put an orange in her suitcase. Huge as a watermelon.
And Yasha felt embarrassed that he put his grandmother on the floor, he put his toy gun in her suitcase, the most expensive one.
The gun was a toy, but just like a real one. From it, you could even kill anyone you want for real. Only pretend. Yasha never parted with him. He even slept with this gun.
In general, the grandmother was saved by all the people. And she went somewhere.
Mom Yasha raised for a long time. She said he would kill my mother. That mom is ashamed to look people in the eye. And Yasha promised not to run like that again. And they went to another store for sour cream. Only Yasha's promises did not last long in Yasha's head. And he started running again.
A little at first, then more and more. And it must happen that the old woman came to the same store for margarine. She walked slowly and did not immediately appear there.
As soon as she appeared, Yasha immediately ran into her.
The old woman did not even have time to gasp, as she was again on the floor. And everything fell apart from her suitcase again.
Then the grandmother began to swear strongly:
What kind of children are gone! You can't go to any store! They jump on you right away. I never ran like this when I was little. If I had a gun, I would shoot such children!
And everyone sees that the grandmother really has a gun in her hands. Totally, completely real.
The senior salesman how to scream at the whole store:
That's how they all went down.
The senior salesman, lying down, continues:
Do not worry, citizens, I have already called the police with a button. Soon this saboteur will be arrested.
Mom says to Yasha:
Come on, Yasha, let's crawl out of here quietly. This grandmother is too dangerous.
Yasha says:
She's not at all dangerous. This is my pistol. I put it in her suitcase last time. Do not be afraid.
Mom says:
So this is your gun?! Then you need to be more afraid. Do not crawl, but run away from here! Because now it’s not the police who will fly into the grandmother, but us. And at my age, I just didn’t have enough to get into the police. And yes, they will take note of you. Now with crime strictly.
They quietly disappeared from the store.
But after this incident, Yasha never ran in stores. I didn't dangle from corner to corner like crazy. On the contrary, he helped his mother. Mom gave him the biggest bag.
And once Yasha saw this grandmother with a suitcase again in the store. He even rejoiced. He said:
Look, mom, this grandmother has already been released!
How the boy Yasha with one girl decorated themselves
Once Yasha and his mother came to visit another mother. And this mother had a daughter, Marina. The same age as Yasha, only older.
Yasha's mother and Marina's mother got down to business. They drank tea, changed children's clothes. And the girl Marina Yasha called into the hallway. And says:
Come on, Yasha, play at the hairdresser's. To a beauty salon.
Yasha immediately agreed. He, when he heard the word "play", he threw everything: and porridge, and books, and a broom. He even broke away from cartoon films if he needed to play. And he never even played at the hairdresser's.
So he immediately agreed:
She and Marina installed daddy's swivel chair, near the mirror, and sat Yasha on it. Marina brought a white pillowcase, wrapped Yasha with a pillowcase and said:
How to cut your hair? Leave the temples?
Yasha says:
Of course, leave. And you can not leave.
Marina got down to business. With large scissors, she cut off everything superfluous from Yasha, leaving only the temples and tufts of hair that were not cut off. Yasha became like a tattered pillow.
Refresh you? Marina asks.
Refresh, - says Yasha. Although he is so fresh, still quite young.
Marina took cold water in her mouth as soon as she jumped on Yasha. Yasha screams:
Mom doesn't hear anything. Marina says:
Oh, Yasha, don't call your mother. You better cut my hair.
Yasha did not refuse. He also wrapped Marina in a pillowcase and asked:
How to cut your hair? Do you want to leave some pieces?
I need to wind up, - says Marina.
Yasha understood everything. He took his father's chair by the handle and began to twist Marina.
Twisted, twisted, even began to stumble.
Enough? - asks.
What is enough? Marina asks.
Wind up.
Enough, says Marina. And disappeared somewhere.
Then Yasha's mother came. She looked at Yasha and screamed:
God, what have they done to my child!
It was Marina and I who played at the hairdresser's, - Yasha reassured her.
Only mother was not happy, but terribly angry and quickly began to dress Yasha: to stuff it into a jacket.
And what? - says Marina's mother. - He got a good haircut. Your child is simply unrecognisable. A completely different boy.
Yasha's mother is silent. Unrecognizable Yasha fastens.
The mother of the girl Marina continues:
Our Marina is such an inventor. Always comes up with something interesting.
Nothing, nothing, - says Yasha's mother, - the next time you come to us, we will also come up with something interesting. We will open a "Quick Clothing Repair" or a dyeing workshop. You don't recognize your child either.
And they quickly left.
At home, Yasha and from dad flew in:
It's good that you haven't played the dentist. And then you would be with me Yafa bef zubof!
Since then, Yasha chose his games very carefully. And he was not angry at Marina at all.
As a boy Yasha loved to walk through the puddles
The boy Yasha had such a habit: as soon as he sees a puddle, he immediately enters it. He stands, he stands, and he stamps his foot.
Mom persuades him:
Yasha, puddles are not for children.
And he still gets into the puddles. And even in the deepest.
They catch him, pull him out of one puddle, and he is already standing in another, stamping his feet.
Okay, in the summer it's tolerable, only wet, that's all. But now autumn has come. Every day the puddles are getting colder, and it's getting harder to dry the shoes. They take Yasha out into the street, he runs through the puddles, gets wet to the waist, and that's it: you have to go home to dry.
All the children walk through the autumn forest, collect leaves in bouquets. They swing on the swings.
And Yasha is taken home to dry.
They put him on the radiator to warm himself, and his shoes hang on a string over the gas stove.
And dad and mom noticed that the more Yasha stands in puddles, the more he catches a cold. He has a runny nose and cough. Snot is pouring from Yasha, no handkerchiefs are missing.
Yasha noticed it too. And his father said to him:
Yasha, if you run through the puddles even more, you will not only have snot in your nose, you will have frogs in your nose. Because you have a whole swamp in your nose.
Yasha, of course, did not really believe in this.
But one day, dad took a handkerchief into which Yasha was blown and put two little green frogs in it.
He made them himself. Cut out of viscous chewing sweets. There are such rubber sweets for children, they are called "Bunty-plunty". And my mother put this handkerchief in the locker for Yasha's things.
As soon as Yasha came back from the walk all wet, mom said:
Come on, Yasha, let's blow our nose. Let's get the snot out of you.
Mom took a handkerchief from the shelf and put it to Yasha's nose. Yasha let's blow your nose with all your might. And suddenly mom sees - something is moving in the scarf. Mom is scared from head to toe.
Yasha, what is it?
And Yasha shows two frogs.
Yasha, too, will be frightened, because he remembered what his father told him.
Mom asks again:
Yasha, what is it?
Yasha says:
Frogs.
Where are they from?
Out of me.
Mom asks:
And how many of them do you have?
Yasha doesn't even know. He says:
That's it, mom, I won't run through the puddles anymore. My dad told me that this would be the end of it. Blow me out one more time. I want all the frogs to fall out of me.
Mom began to blow his nose again, but there were no more frogs.
And my mother tied these two frogs on a rope and carried them in her pocket. As soon as Yasha runs up to the puddle, she will pull the rope and show the frogs to Yasha.
Yasha immediately - stop! And in a puddle - not a foot! Very good boy.
How the boy Yasha painted everywhere
We bought pencils for the boy Yasha. Bright, colored. A lot - about ten. Yes, they seem to be in a hurry.
Mom and dad thought that Yasha would sit in a corner behind the closet and draw Cheburashka in a notebook. Or flowers, different houses. Cheburashka is the best. He is a pleasure to draw. Four circles in total. Circle head, circle ears, circle belly. And then scratch your paws, that's all. The children are happy and so are the parents.
Only Yasha did not understand what he was aimed at. He began to draw kalyaki. As soon as he sees where the white sheet is, he immediately draws a scribble.
First, on my father's table, I drew kalyaki on all the white sheets. Then in my mother's notebook: where his mother (Yashina) wrote down bright thoughts.
And then anywhere else.
Mom comes to the pharmacy for medicines, submits a prescription through the window.
We don’t have such a medicine,” says the pharmacy aunt. “Scientists have not invented such a medicine yet.
Mom looks at the recipe, and there are only scribbles drawn, nothing is visible under them. Mom, of course, is angry:
You would, Yasha, if you spoil the paper, at least draw a cat or a mouse.
The next time, mom opens a notebook to call another mom, and there is such joy - a mouse is drawn. Mom even dropped the book. So she got scared.
And this Yasha drew.
Dad comes to the clinic with a passport. They tell him:
What are you, a citizen, just out of prison, so thin! From jail?
Why else is this? Dad is surprised.
In your photo, the grate is visible red.
Dad at home was so angry with Yasha that he took away the brightest red pencil from him.
And Yasha turned around even more. He began to draw kalyaki on the walls. I took it and painted all the flowers on the wallpaper with a pink pencil. Both in the hallway and in the living room. Mom was horrified:
Yasha, guard! Are there flowers in a box!
They took away his pink pencil. Yasha was not very upset. The next day he's wearing all the straps on his mother's white shoes in green painted. And painted the handle on my mother's white purse green.
Mom to go to the theater, and her shoes and handbag, like a young clown, are striking. For this, Yasha got a little in the ass (for the first time in his life), and the green pencil was also taken away from him.
We have to do something, says dad. - Until our young talent runs out of pencils, he will turn the whole house into a coloring book.
They began to issue pencils to Yasha only under the supervision of the elders. Either his mother is watching him, or his grandmother will be called. But they are not always free.
And then the girl Marina came to visit.
Mom said:
Marina, you are already big. Here are pencils for you, you and Yasha draw. There are cats and mice. The cat is drawn like this. The mouse is like this.
Yasha and Marina understood everything and let's create cats and mice everywhere. First on paper. Marina will draw a mouse:
This is my mouse.
Yasha will draw a cat:
This is my cat. She ate your mouse.
My mouse had a sister, says Marina. And draws another mouse nearby.
And my cat also had a sister, - says Yasha. - She ate your mouse sister.
And my mouse had another sister, - Marina draws a mouse on the refrigerator to get away from Yasha's cats.
Yasha also goes to the refrigerator.
And my cat had two sisters.
So they moved throughout the apartment. More and more sisters appeared in our mice and cats.
Yasha's mother finished talking with Marina's mother, she looks - the whole apartment is covered in mice and cats.
Guard, she says. - Just three years ago they did the renovation!
They called dad. Mom asks:
What are we going to flush? Shall we renovate the apartment?
Papa says:
In no case. Let's leave it all.
What for? Mom asks.
That's why. When our Yasha grows up, let him look at this disgrace with adult eyes. Let him be ashamed then.
Otherwise, he simply won’t believe us that he could be so outrageous as a child.
And Yasha was already ashamed even now. Although he is still small. He said:
Mom and Dad, you fix everything. I will never paint on the walls again! I will only be in the album.
And Yasha kept his word. He himself did not really want to draw on the walls. It was his girl Marina who led him astray.
Whether in the garden, in the garden
Raspberries have grown.
Wish there was more
Doesn't visit us
Marina girl.
How Yasha got an elephant
Yasha kept pestering mom and dad:
I want an elephant. I want an elephant.
Mom says:
Yasha, don't be stupid. Maybe you can buy a mouse in a jar?
And Yasha his:
I want an elephant.
Mom says:
Maybe you mean kitten?
Yasha own:
I want an elephant.
Mom hints:
Here the neighbors brought a dog, curly-haired.
And Yasha again:
I want an elephant.
Papa says:
Yasha, maybe, for starters, at least get a horse.
Yasha disagrees:
I want an elephant.
He completely exhausted his parents.
Yasha, do you want to go for a walk?
I want an elephant.
Yasha, do you want to use the potty?
I want an elephant.
And dad broke down.
Well, okay, he says. - You will have an elephant. But on one condition. First, you will spend the whole day with the elephant. Trial day, trial. You yourself will take care of him, water him, feed him. And if everything works out well for you, we will leave the elephant to you forever.
Dad went to the circus. The circus is undergoing renovations. There are no spectators, only workers with buckets. Dad began to beg for an elephant from the director of the circus for one day. And they are happy there. At least for the whole week. Feed interruptions. Made an appointment for Tuesday.
Yasha, together with his mother, began to prepare from Sunday. They bought three birch brooms. Three packs of potatoes. Pepsi cola bottle. There are a lot of apples - about fifteen. Dad's sausages.
For some reason, Mom also bought a scoop, an enormous bucket and a shovel.
Dad brought a whole bag of sawdust from a neighboring construction site.
In general, they were preparing for a holiday.
And then Tuesday came.
... In the morning, Yasha put on his best pants, shirt, boots and waited. Mom, on the contrary, dressed more simply. She put on everything old, as they dress on potatoes. And dad went to the circus in the morning.
An hour passes, another ...
And it became heard how people rustled in the courtyard:
Are you out of your mind?
Lived up! There is nothing to feed the dogs, but they drive elephants.
Then it was heard how the door in the entrance was removed from its hinges. Then the stairs shook. And soon the bell rang. Mom opened.
First, the trunk went through the door. Then the ears rustled. Then the sides rested against the door and do not go. The elephant was very fat.
He had a tamer with him. He says to the elephant:
Bumbu, don't breathe. Bumbu, take a breath.
The elephant exhaled and rubbed into the apartment. Yasha was frightened of the elephant at first. Quiet. Then he grew bolder and said:
Boom boom, sit down!
The elephant sat down. The tamer said:
Not boom-boom, but boom-boom! He is from India.
Yasha screams:
Bumbu, eat a broom!
And he brought a birch broom to the elephant.
The elephant took the broom with its trunk and launched it into its mouth. He chewed it and took two other brooms himself without asking.
In the corner of the room stood an ordinary sweeping broom. Bumba and this broom chewed.
Then Bumbu ate the bag of potatoes along with the bag. Another package and another package. And he carefully began to take apples with his trunk from Yasha's hands.
The tamer says to Yasha:
And now we need to give a drink.
Yasha brought Pepsi-Cola in a bottle. The tamer began to drink it. Yasha screams:
Leave the elephant. Bumbe!
The tamer laughs:
To my Bumba, in order to drink a little, two buckets must be dragged. And that is not enough. What did you think. What, in vain, or something, we, the tamers, are paid money.
With difficulty, Yasha dragged half a bucket, and then another half a bucket.
And then Bumbu began to write. How pussy will pour out of it on the floor. Mom barely had time to substitute the bucket. But still half of the pisek was on the floor. There wasn't enough room in the bucket.
It's good that mom was ready. She began to collect pussy with a scoop from the floor and pour it into an old pan. And dad sprinkled the floor with sawdust. So that sawdust absorbs moisture into itself. The tamer was upset:
I didn't expect today.
And dad says:
Nothing, nothing, do not worry, but we expected.
And the elephant took it and, in addition, began to poop.
Here it’s not mom’s bucket, but dad began to substitute. And still, everything did not fit in the bucket. I had to collect the rest with scoops from the floor. Mom is upset and asks:
And where does everything go?
Tamer soothes:
Do not worry. You just give a hint to gardeners, they will tear it off with their hands. Elephant fertilizers are the most high-calorie.
At this they began to say goodbye to the elephant and the tamer. And Yasha did not really insist that the elephant still live with them.
Yasha's dad asks:
What, Yasha, do you want an elephant?
Yasha says:
Do not want.
Do you want a horse?
Do not want.
Mom says:
What about a shaggy dog or a kitten?
Do not want.
Maybe we'll get you a mouse in the bank. After all, children need animals.
But Yasha doesn't want a mouse in a jar. Mom asks:
What do you want, Yasha?
Yasha was silent, silent, and then he spoke.
Reading List Grade 1 - Help
See also: Multiplication table in verses. 07/07/2016 08:29:23, mama_malchika. 14. B. Zhitkov. Stories for children. 15. E. Uspensky “Crocodile Gena and his friends”, “Three from Prostokvashino”, etc.
Books for the summer after grade 3
Tell me what books your children plan to read (read) in senior primary school? Interested in both boys and girls. 1. Unconditional hit. E. Uspensky. Red hand, black sheet, green fingers. 2. Tyukhtyaevs. Zoki and Bud. + their second part.
Help make a list
Sakharova S. Yu. Academy of Household Wizards The story of how one day Sekora O. Adventures of the ant Ferda Instructive tale Czech writer Ondřej Sekora Uspensky E. Down the Magic River The Tale of the City Boy Mitya, Who Came to...
What to read at 4-5 years old (boy)?
Joel Harris "The Tales of Uncle Remus" Kataev "The Pipe and the Jug", "The Seven-Flower Flower" Nosov "The Adventures of Dunno" (though long, but each chapter is almost a finished work) Uspensky "About the boy Yasha" Astrid Lindgren "Emil and baby Ida "...
A new version of the famous cartoon is presented in Tokyo
In addition to the classic stories created by the writer Eduard Uspensky, two completely new ones await young viewers - "Cheburashka and the Circus" and "Shapoklyak's Tips". The first screening took place at the embassy school, as the...
RESULTS: What do your children read at 7-8 years old
E. Uspensky "All Prostokvashino" 14. L. Ulitskaya "Stories about animals" 15. Winx Club Book series for girls. Sergei Alekseev "One Hundred Stories from Russian History" 30. Kipling Rudyard "Rikki-tiki-tavi", "Mowgli", "Elephant" 34. black chicken 36.
