Mikhail Zhvanetsky: brilliant aphorisms - in one line. the best sayings of Zhvanetsky
Odesa and a man of the world Mikhail Mikhailovich Zhvanetsky is a recognized classic of the spoken genre, eclipsing the current popular stand-up comedy stars. The secret of his popularity is simple: he describes our life - poignantly, precisely, brilliantly. His quotes are widely spread. Therefore, wherever Russian is understood, it collects full houses. Michal Mikhalych has many famous monologues-miniatures - "How they joke in Odessa", "Meeting at a distillery", "Normally, Gregory" etc. In order not to take your time, we will remind - selectively - best quotes from his works of different years.
The classic managed to be born on March 6 - that's why we start with a selection of reflections on a woman ...
- Scandal does not spoil a woman, it refreshes her!
- Women are delightful, what fools and horror what fools!
“And the fact that they kiss you means nothing, and the fact that they marry you means nothing. All your life you will think that she loves you, and she will tell you this, and you will not know the truth, and you will live happily ...
- From a human I like memory very much. From the animal - hearing. Of the body parts - the head. Then the eyes. Then the legs. For women, the opposite is true.
About men
- The ideal man is the one who is loved.
- Nothing makes a man so young as stupidity.
Smart, then? ..
- In some, both hemispheres are protected by the skull, in others - by pants.
- The bald head is a clearing trampled by thoughts.
- All people are brothers, but not all by reason.
About the state
- We had socialism with an inhuman face - and capitalism turned out with some wild backside.
- We have not seen the correct course, only the correct one.
- Our freedom is like a traffic light with three lights burning at once.
- Politicians are people who rose from the bottom, but did not reach the surface.
- A nation is a bouquet different colorsstrapped by border guards.
About career
- If you have a successful job, then you can rest sometimes. And if the work is very successful, then you never rest.
- You don't sleep all day, you don't eat all night - of course, you get tired!
About love
- It was such love - it hung on him like an apron, he endured it only while eating.
“The worst of us are children of sex, the best are children of love.
- They merried. He is German. She's Russian. Communicate in English. Both speak it badly. Therefore, they never swear. Everyone thinks for a long time before speaking.
About age
- What is 80? - this is the right to kiss a woman without her consent and without her hope.
- In old age, when you need more time, you are offered more money.
- Experience is the past, wisdom is the future.
- You need to be able to distinguish between mood and well-being.
- Wisdom does not always come with age. It happens that age comes alone.
About talent
- To be heard - you need a protest. To be remembered, you need talent.
- I love their mediocre courage, their courage, their clear political orientation, their clear views and enormous passion. I just hate their performance.
- With an ordinary artist, you look at a beauty. With a great artist - she looks at you.
- It is not enough to know one's own worth - one must also be in demand.
- Now the time has come when the accompaniment performs solo concerts. And the songs in their meaning come close to rock art.
About life
- To the question: "How do you live?" - howled obscenely, got drunk, filled the face of the questioner, beat his head against the wall for a long time, in general, avoided answering.
- What do not do with a person, he stubbornly crawls into the cemetery.
- Real loneliness - when you talk to yourself all night and they don't understand you.
- A decent person can be easily recognized by how awkwardly he does mean things.
- What is our life: if you don't get used to it, you die, if you don't die, you get used to it.
- Greatness is not required for megalomania - delusions are enough.
- I have adjusted and watch the news three days ago. And I think: "Lord, how bad it was three days ago!"
- The most difficult thing is given to a person that is not given to him.
- Let them laugh at you better than cry.
- What a pity that you finally leave ...
- Nothing hurts a person like shards of his own happiness.
- It's not a shame to dig in the trash. It's a shame to be happy about it.
“I used to be bothered by the thought that I might be forgotten. But today the thought that they might remember me is already disturbing.
- If there is someone ready to move mountains, others will surely follow him, ready to break his neck.
- Only on your birthday you will find out how many unnecessary things in the world! ..
- You want everything at once - but you get nothing and gradually
- Money will disappear - people will appear ...
Before the operation, you need to answer a number of questions. One of them: who to call in case of complications. I answered: a more competent doctor.
There is no difference between sick and healthy. The sick spend their energy on moving away from death, the healthy - on approaching it.
When faced with a choice: say or keep silent, choose the latter. Silence will allow you to build on your account only guesses, words - to draw conclusions. - Mikhail Zhvanetsky
A versatile personality is a dubious compliment. Maybe they mean that you are a boor, a dumbass, a bastard and an egoist at the same time.
I've always felt sorry for octopuses. The poor fellows really grow out of the priests' hands. And on the ass - ears.
They say that only fools laugh for no reason. And for some reason they forget about pretty girls ...
Zhvanetsky: Even if you cannot buy a person, you can try to sell him.
The main thing is that for those who can turn the world, others do not follow who can turn him over.
With such a wind, it's not like lighting a cigarette, I can't get a pack ...
To succeed in business, you need to learn not from your mistakes, but from others.
Read the continuation of the famous aphorisms and quotes of Zhvanetsky on the pages:
To start from scratch, you still need to crawl up to it.
Kalashnikov's answering machine.
Redneck is not rudeness, it is what is formed from the combination of rudeness and ignorance with cowardice and insolence
The pedestrian is always right. While alive
The writer has not disappeared from television, but the reader has disappeared
You don't need to run from the sniper, you just die tired.
It is better to remain silent and seem like a fool than to speak up and leave no doubts about this
Luck smiles at the brave ... And then laughs at them for a long time !!!
Don't tell me what to do, and I won't tell you where you need to go.
There is always a place for feat in life. You just need to be away from this place.
Each person is right in his own way. But in my opinion, no.
Nothing hurts a person like shards of his own happiness.
A pessimist is walking down the street, followed by two optimists in civilian clothes ...
People, houses, graves live in this country for a very short time
Microbes slowly crawled over Lefty's body, dragging horseshoes with difficulty ...
Sorry, I'm saying when you interrupt.
I endlessly respect the monstrous choice of my people
The best alibi is to be the victim.
What fertilized it grew
The one who finds the exit is trampled first
The most difficult thing is given to a person that is not given to him.
A clear conscience is a sign of poor memory.
Scientists at Harvard University have found that white mice reproduce much better if they are not interfered with by scientists at Harvard University.
The idea came to his head and now he is searching hard for his brain
Until you measure seven times, others will already cut off.
An idealist is someone who, having noticed that a rose smells better than cabbage, concludes that the soup from it will be better ...
Whenever I remember that the Lord is just, I tremble for my country
I remember my legs ached so much in 1943! .. but I bought a 45 and okay ...
The last words of the two lion tamers: “How? I thought YOU fed them!?! ”
Friends are known in trouble, if, of course, they can be found at the same time.
The crew says goodbye to you and wishes you a pleasant flight….
If relatives or friends do not call you for a long time, then everything is fine with them.
Better lunch without appetite than appetite without lunch.
Everything is going well, only by ...
How quickly time flies: did not have time to wake up, but was already late for work.
How difficult it is to crawl with your head held high!
People are divided into those on whom you can rely and on those on whom you need to put
Everything in this world is relative. For example, the length of a minute depends on which side of the toilet door you are on.
Positive emotions are emotions that arise if you put everything on ...
They met me on my clothes, conducted me badly too ...
I ran across the street at a red light and was hit by an oncoming pedestrian.
Lottery is the most exact way accounting for the number of optimists.
Better to be covered in sweat seven times than frost once!
Wisdom doesn't always come with age. It happens that age comes alone
It is better to make love with difficulty than to labor with love.
If you are arguing with an idiot, then he probably does the same.
To start from scratch, you still need to crawl up to it for a long time.
History is hard to get into, but easy to get into
Everything is going well, only by ...
It is not enough to know your own worth - you must also be in demand.
Frivolity is feeling well at your own risk.
Don't drive faster than your guardian angel flies
You don't sleep all day, you don't eat all night - of course, you get tired ...
A genius sleeps in any of us. And every day everything is stronger ...
Never exaggerate the stupidity of enemies and the loyalty of friends ...
It's a shame when your dreams come true for others!
Thought is only thought when its head is thought.
What a wonderful child you have! Is this a cute boy or an ugly girl?
The more I look in the mirror, the more I trust Darwin.
If a person knows what he wants, then he either knows a lot or wants little.
Learning is light, and ignorance is a pleasant twilight.
If you add up a dark past with a bright future, you get a gray present.
Better a belly from beer than a hump from work.
Since I started driving, I have become more careful when crossing the road.
Good always triumphs over evil, which means that he who won is good.
Better a long live queue than a short submachine gun.
Better to laugh at you than cry.
You can't forbid living beautifully. But you can prevent ...
It is not enough to find your place in life, you have to find it first.
The one who finds the exit is trampled down first.
Sorry, I'm saying when you interrupt
We promise them, we promise, we promise, we promise, but it's not enough for them!
Only on your birthday you will find out how many unnecessary things there are in the world
In the beginning was the Word…. However, judging by how events developed further, the Word was unprintable.
How quickly time flies: did not have time to wake up, but was already late for work
Better lunch without appetite than appetite without lunch
If a person knows what he wants, then he either knows a lot or wants a little
He does not have a face, but an object for intramuscular injections.
One head is good, but the torso is better.
He does not have a face, but an object for intramuscular injections.
The main thing is not to cross the street to the next world
The main thing is not to cross the street to the next world.
In the beginning was the Word…. However, judging by how events developed further, the Word was unprintable
What roof doesn't like driving fast?
Citizens! Fly Aeroflot planes! Hurry up! There are very few of them left.
All people are brothers, but not all according to reason.
An optimist believes that we live in the best of worlds. The pessimist fears that this is the case
People are divided into those on whom you can rely and on those on whom you need to put.
History is difficult to enter, but easy to get into.
A well-mannered man will not make remarks to a woman who does not carry a sleeper well.
If your ass has been licked, don't relax - it's a lubricant!
Came - thank you, left - thank you very much ...
Any car will last for the rest of your life if you drive smartly enough.
Of two evils, I choose the one that I have not tried before ...
Nothing hurts a person like fragments of his own happiness
Thinking is so difficult - that's why most people judge.
Should I help you or not hinder?
My child looks like a mother ... It yells loudly, shrilly! But my eyes are guilty, they run ...
I drive too fast to worry about cholesterol!
So that I can see you on crutches, and you me with one eye!
To save a drowning man, it is not enough to stretch out his hand - it is necessary that he give his hand in response.
How one must hate this country to leave an apartment after such a renovation
What a pity you finally leave ...
Until you measure seven times, others will already cut
Better a little dollar than a big thank you.
You want everything at once, but you get nothing gradually.
The ultimate embarrassment - two gazes meeting in the keyhole
Wisdom doesn't always come with age. It happens that age comes alone.
Everything in this world is relative. For example, the length of a minute depends on which side of the toilet door you are on.
Only on your birthday you will find out how many unnecessary things there are in the world.
A bald head is a clearing trampled by thoughts.
There is always a place for feat in life. You just have to stay away from this place
Learning is light, and ignorance is a pleasant twilight
An optimist believes that we live in the best of worlds. The pessimist fears that this is the case.
Don't drive faster than your guardian angel flies.
Sharp quotes, funny sayings from Odessa, satirist Mikhail Mikhailovich Zhvanetsky.
One awkward move and you are the father
What is our life: if you don't get used to it, you die, if you don't die, you get used to it.
What do you most want when you climb up? Spit down.
To save a drowning man, it is not enough to stretch out his hand - it is necessary that he give his hand in response.
If a person knows what he wants, then he either knows a lot or wants little.
If you are arguing with an idiot, then he probably does the same.
What a pity you finally leave ...
A real family arises when both are not needed by anyone.
Sometimes they drink from nothing to do, sometimes they do from nothing to drink, and sometimes they die - from nothing to drink and nothing to do
A decent person can be easily recognized by how awkwardly he does mean things.
Better a little dollar than a big thank you.
Only on your birthday you will find out how many unnecessary things there are in the world.
He's an old fool. Although age has nothing to do with it.
If you cannot love - sit and be friends!
Fools love to punish smart ones. First, they raise themselves. Secondly, they get smarter. Thirdly, everyone can see who is in charge. The only thing - then they don't know what to do.
Everything is going well, only by ...
It is not enough to find your place in life, you have to find it first.
Life is like a piano: white key, black key ... cover.
You sit at home - it seems that everyone is at home. You go out into the street - it seems that everyone went out. You get to the station - you think, well, everyone's gone. In the hospital, the impression is that everyone is there; at the cemetery - everyone bends over. Well, there are a lot of us. There is enough for everything. And too much everywhere.
Old age is approaching like a train: here it is still there, and now it is already here.
We promise them, we promise, we promise, we promise, but it's not enough for them!
We have so many things. We may not have everything. Anything you want with us may not be.
The sick and the healthy live the same time, only those forces that the patient spends on distance, the healthy one on the approach of a bright light at the end of the tunnel.
It is better to remain silent and seem like a fool than to speak up and leave no doubts on this score.
How much does a person need to be completely happy? - Few!? But only so that others have even less.
Never exaggerate the stupidity of enemies and the loyalty of friends ...
The one who finds the exit is trampled down first.
Positive emotions are emotions that arise if you put everything on ...
Don't tell me what to do, and I won't tell you where you need to go.
Good always triumphs over evil, which means that whoever won is good.
Scientists at Harvard University have found that white mice reproduce much better if they are not interfered with by scientists at Harvard University.
In some, both hemispheres are protected by the skull, in others - by pants.
An optimist believes that we live in the best of worlds. The pessimist fears that this is the case.
There are three reasons for not showing up: forgetting, drinking or scoring.
It's hard to be the last bitch - there is always someone in the back!
They met me on my clothes, they conducted me badly too ...
There are no happy ends. If happy, this is not the end.
- Alcohol in small doses is harmless in any amount.
Zhvanetsky Mikhail
- Thoughts and women do not come together.
Zhvanetsky Mikhail
- "we sit, lie, wallow ... but on the right track."
"We live in a time when the clock is not for the time, and the breast is not for the baby."Zhvanetsky Mikhail
- Came - thank you, left - thank you very much ...
Our man from a young age is used to opening the door with a woman.Zhvanetsky Mikhail
- "There is no such thing as what we want, there is something to which we can adapt."
“There are two types of bosses in Russia - tyrants and nuggets.Zhvanetsky Mikhail
- "Is Russia a country of unlimited possibilities and impossible restrictions"?
"Behind new life the country pays the rollback. The kickback is paid with culture. "Zhvanetsky Mikhail
- On cognac, I can give out two or three thoughts per hour.
One spice every ten minutes.
On vodka - three or four complaints to the government and one question to the Duma: where are they from?
On dry wine - I manage to darken to heartburn, it's very bad to think about everyone.
On champagne - I'm talking nonsense for quite a long time.Zhvanetsky Mikhail
- Resignation is annoying.
Joylessness is depressing.
Avarice is indignant.
Dullness is repulsive.
The mind is weary.
Humor is offending.Zhvanetsky Mikhail
- Abroad
There we are like white crows, like black hares, like yellow horses.
We are not like everyone else. You can see us. We are aggressive. We are irritable.
We are in a hurry somewhere and do not give anyone time to think.
We are rudely impatient ... We are in a hurry on the plane, on the train, on the bus, although we are already there.Zhvanetsky Mikhail
- FEELING
Got up - it got worse.
Came out - it got better.
I drank - even better ...
There was no need to leave!Zhvanetsky Mikhail
- After all, who am I not to drink?
Drink, Mishastic, achieve love without words.Zhvanetsky Mikhail
- Alimony is when one pays for three.
He was so heavily irradiated that next to him I wanted to drink under his breath.Zhvanetsky Mikhail
- Today, an honest and principled person is completely different.
He doesn't speak, doesn't mind.
He agrees, but does it his own way.
He knows nothing more tiresome and useless than objection, argument, persuasion, persuasion, speech.Zhvanetsky Mikhail
- Again an appeal to politicians.
I have always wondered why bad language, bad diction, lack of thought cause such a great desire to meet the audience?Zhvanetsky Mikhail
- Our diagnosis is that we are still uncivilized.
We have a very low percentage of getting into the toilet, into the spittoon, into the trash can.
The language we speak is rude. We translate from the mat.Zhvanetsky Mikhail
- The costume of "Eva" suits her very well, only she needs to be sewn in here and there.
Some look brave because they are afraid to run away.Zhvanetsky Mikhail
- Luck smiles at the brave ... And then laughs at them for a long time !!!
Frivolity is wellness at your own riskZhvanetsky Mikhail
- Friends are known in trouble, if, of course, they can be found at the same time.
Blew like that strong windthat cigarettes were turned out with their teeth ...Zhvanetsky Mikhail
- What a pity you finally leave ...
Born to crawl - he will crawl everywhere.Zhvanetsky Mikhail
- All three ex-wives attended his funeral.
And the first one threw a tantrum: "Who are you leaving us with ?!"
Although all three have been married for a long time.Zhvanetsky Mikhail
- To save a drowning man, it is not enough to stretch out his hand - it is necessary that he give his hand in response.
History is difficult to enter, but easy to get into.Zhvanetsky Mikhail
- Laughing for no reason is a sign that you are either an idiot or a pretty girl. People are divided into those on whom you can rely and on those on whom you need to put.
Zhvanetsky Mikhail
- How we are located.
Subordinates - tails outward, heads inward.
Chiefs - tails inward, mouth outward.
All the people - children inside, women outside, men around the perimeter.Zhvanetsky Mikhail
- They met me on my clothes, conducted them badly too ...
The idea came to his head and is now searching for the brain.Zhvanetsky Mikhail
- Well, you broke through the wall with your head ... And what are you going to do in the next cell?
Microbes slowly crawled over Lefty's body, dragging horseshoes with difficulty ...Zhvanetsky Mikhail
- Lot good people in the world .. But in the next world there are more ...
Nothing hurts a person like shards of his own happiness.Zhvanetsky Mikhail
- The one who finds the exit is trampled down first!
Of two evils, I choose the one that I have not tried before ...Zhvanetsky Mikhail
- Everything is going well, only past ...
It is not enough to find your place in life, you have to find it first.Zhvanetsky Mikhail
- The crew says goodbye to you and wishes you a pleasant flight ....
In some, both hemispheres are protected by the skull, in others - by pants.Zhvanetsky Mikhail
- Good always triumphs over evil, which means that he who won is good.
Only on your birthday you will find out how many unnecessary things there are in the world.Zhvanetsky Mikhail
- Never exaggerate the stupidity of enemies and the loyalty of friends ...
There is always a place for feat in life. You just have to stay away from this
places.Zhvanetsky Mikhail
- I have endless respect for the monstrous choice of my people.
Life is like a piano: white key, black key ... cover.Zhvanetsky Mikhail
- Each person is right in his own way. But in my opinion, no.
So that I can see you on crutches, and you me with one eye!Zhvanetsky Mikhail
- The more I look in the mirror, the more I trust Darwin.
To start from scratch, you still need to crawl up to it for a long time.Zhvanetsky Mikhail
- The most difficult thing is given to a person that is not given to him.
If a person knows what he wants, then he either knows a lot or a little
wants.Zhvanetsky Mikhail
- And those who stood in the queue, vigilantly observe the order of receipt in the queue, which is out of turn, which is what this glorified universal silence is achieved.
Zhvanetsky Mikhail
- The lottery is the most accurate way to measure the number of optimists.
The highest degree of embarrassment is two gazes meeting in the keyhole.
Aphorisms and quotes by Mikhail Zhvanetsky
Mikhail Mikhailovich Zhvanetsky is a modern Russian satirist writer, artist, author and performer of satirical miniatures and dialogues. Zhvanetsky's work is saturated with colorful Odessa humor. His causticity about human and social vices is a popular success with the public. Below are some of the aphorisms and quotes by Mikhail Zhvanetsky."Whenever I remember that the Lord is just, I tremble for my country."
"Nothing hurts a person like shards of his own happiness"
"If a person knows what he wants, then he either knows a lot or wants a little"
“Wisdom doesn't always come with age. It happens that age comes alone "
"Until you measure seven times, others will already cut off"
“A genius is sleeping in any of us. And every day everything is stronger ... "
"So that I can see you on crutches, and you see me with one eye!"
"The main thing is not to cross the street to the next world"
"What a pity you finally leave ..."
"The highest degree of embarrassment - two gazes meeting in the keyhole"
"Better to be covered in sweat seven times than frost once!"
"People, houses, graves live in this country for a very short time"
"History is difficult to enter, but easy to get into"
"In the beginning there was the Word .... However, judging by how events developed further, the Word was unprintable."
"I came - thank you, left - thank you very much ..."
“There is always a place for feat in life. You just need to stay away from this place "
"Better lunch without appetite than appetite without lunch"
"Sorry, I'm saying when you interrupt"
"Redneck is not rudeness, it is what is formed from the combination of rudeness and ignorance with cowardice and insolence"
"He has not a face, but an object for intramuscular injections."
"Do not drive faster than your guardian angel flies."
"We promise them, we promise, we promise, we promise, but it's not enough for them!"
"People are divided into those on whom you can rely and those on whom you need to put"
"Never exaggerate the stupidity of enemies and the loyalty of friends ..."
"The idea came to his mind and now he is persistently looking for a brain."
"Life is like a piano: white key, black key ... cover"
"How difficult it is to crawl with your head held high!"
"Literature is the art of avoiding words"
“You can't forbid living beautifully. But you can interfere ... "
"Friendship has changed so much that it allows betrayal, does not need meetings, correspondence, hot conversations, and even allows the presence of one friend"
"Any car will last for the rest of your life, if you drive smartly enough"
"It's a shame when your dreams come true for others!"
"Some look brave because they are afraid to run away."
"A clear conscience is a sign of bad memory"
"Learning is light, and ignorance is a pleasant twilight"
"You don't sleep all day, don't eat all night - of course, you get tired ..."
"The one who finds the exit is trampled down first"
"It is better to remain silent and seem like a fool than to speak up and leave no doubts about this."
"The sick and the healthy live the same time, only those forces that the patient spends on distance, the healthy one - on the approach of a bright light at the end of the tunnel"
"How quickly time flies: I didn't have time to wake up, but I was already late for work"
“The optimist believes that we live in the best of worlds. The pessimist is afraid that this is the case "
“Everything in this world is relative. For example, the length of a minute depends on which side of the toilet door you are on. "
"The writer did not disappear because of television, but the reader disappeared"
"Only on your birthday you will find out how many unnecessary things there are in the world"
"How one must hate this country to leave an apartment after such a renovation"
"Of two evils, I choose something that I have not tried before ..."
"I endlessly respect the monstrous choice of my people."
"What they fertilized, it grew"
“To start from scratch, you still need to crawl up to it”
"Everything is going well, only past ..."
“What a wonderful child you have! Is this a cute boy or a ugly girl? "
"Thought is only thought when its head is thought"
"An idealist is someone who, having noticed that a rose smells better than cabbage, concludes that the soup from it will be better ..."
"Don't tell me what I need to do, and I won't tell you where you need to go."
"Frivolity is wellness at your own risk."
"The hardest thing for a person is given what is not given to him"
"If your relatives or friends do not call you for a long time, then everything is fine with them"
"Old age is approaching like a train: here it is still there, and now it is already here"
"Loneliness is when you talk to yourself all night, but they don't understand you"
"The history of Russia is the struggle of ignorance against injustice"
"Laughing for no reason is a sign that you are either an idiot or a pretty girl."
“Our people are not ready. Not ready to live yet. They don't want to die, but they are not ready to live "
"All the greats have died a long time ago, and I am not well enough"
"If a person cannot be bought, then he can be sold"
“The pedestrian is always right. While alive "
"I drive too fast to worry about cholesterol!"
"No matter how much you steal from the state, you still can't get yours back!"
"There are many good people in the world ... But there are more of them in the next world"
"The more I look in the mirror, the more I believe Darwin."
“I look at you and think: how a small glass of my blood at breakfast has a beneficial effect on a woman”
"If you add a dark past with a bright future, you get a gray present."
"A decent person can be easily recognized by how awkwardly he does mean things."
"It's not enough to find your place in life, you have to find it first"
“My child looks like a mother ... It yells loudly, shrilly! But my eyes are guilty, they run ... "
"The best alibi is to be a victim"
"A well-mannered man will not reprimand a woman who does not carry a sleeper well"
"Bald head is a clearing trampled by thoughts"
"If you're arguing with an idiot, he probably does the same thing."
"You want everything at once, but you get nothing gradually"
"One head is good, but a head with a torso is better."
"Luck smiles at the brave ... And then laughs at them for a long time !!!"
"Born to crawl - will crawl everywhere"
"Better a little dollar than a big thank you"
"They met me on my clothes, they conducted me badly too ..."
"You don't need to run from a sniper, you just die tired"
"They learn from their mistakes, from others they make a career."
"There are three reasons for not showing up: forgot, washed down or scored."
“What do you most want when you climb up? Spit down "
"I ran across the street at a red light and was hit by an oncoming pedestrian"
"Greatness is not required for megalomania, but mania is enough."
"In some, both hemispheres are protected by the skull, in others - by pants"
"If someone appears who is ready to move mountains, others will surely follow him, ready to break his neck."
"Each person is the blacksmith of his own happiness and the anvil of someone else's"
“There are no happy ends. If happy, this is not the end "
“Russia is a country of talents. There are a lot of talents, there is no one to work "
"Better a long live queue than a short submachine gun"
"And the wolves are fed, and the sheep are safe, and eternal memory to the shepherd"
"In Odessa, what is quickly lifted is not considered to be fallen."
"There is a pessimist walking down the street, followed by two optimists in civilian clothes ..."
"All people are brothers, but not all according to reason"
"Good always triumphs over evil, so whoever won is good."
"Thinking is so hard - that's why most people judge."
“We have so many things. We may not have everything. Anything you want with us may not be "
"Should I help you or not hinder?"
"Better a belly from beer than a hump from work"
“Singing to the soundtrack is a pleasant innovation. Favorite singer flies to the concert, but does not take his voice with him "
“Each person is right in his own way. But in my opinion, no "
"It's good not just where we are not, but where we have never been!"
"The lottery is the most accurate way to count the number of optimists"
"Scientists at Harvard University have found that white mice reproduce much better if they are not interfered with by scientists at Harvard University."
"Under pressure from outside, humor is born inside"
"It's not enough to know your own worth - you still have to be in demand"
“We are mastering more high style spore. Dispute without facts. Dispute over temperament. A dispute moving from an unfounded statement to the identity of a partner "
"Whoever married a young man paid in full: she will never see him young, he will never see her old."
"Nobody is afraid of radiation in our country - it is believed that we simply will not have time to die from it"
"Since I started driving, I have become more careful when crossing the road."
“You ask, why are tomatoes? I'll ask for six, I'll give it for five. Okay, I'll take four, three for you. "
“As one Eastern sage living in Odessa said,“ You cannot be honest and dishonest at the same time, even if it happens in different places ”
"It's better to make love with difficulty than to make love with love."
“Fools love to punish smart ones. First, they raise themselves. Secondly, they get smarter. Thirdly, everyone can see who is in charge. The only thing - then they don't know what to do. "
"Friends are known in trouble, if, of course, they can be found at the same time"
“What can a lame man say about the art of Herbert von Karajan? If he immediately declares that he is lame, he admits himself defeated "
"It is better to laugh at you than cry"
"A person's character can be judged by how he behaves with those who cannot be of any use to him, as well as with those who cannot give him back."
"To save a drowning man, it is not enough to stretch out his hand - he needs to give his hand in return"
"What can a person argue about who has not changed their passport?"
“Did you know that an economical housewife cuts meat for festive table very thin slices? And the cunning guest eats them five at a time "
“The entire population takes the form of an object. Whoever works with what takes its form ”
"If you cannot love - sit and be friends!"
“You sit at home - it seems that everyone is at home. You go out into the street - it seems that everyone went out. You get to the station - you think, well, everyone's gone. In the hospital, the impression is that everyone is there; at the cemetery - everyone bends over. Well, there are a lot of us. There is enough for everything. And too much everywhere "
“And in general, how can we be interested in the opinion of a bald man with such a nose? Let him first fix his nose, grow hair, and then express himself. "
In addition to the aphorisms and quotes of Mikhail Zhvanetsky, our site contains many statements and other famous people... To find them, use the alphabet at the top of the page.
