There are two chairs on one peaks are chiseled. The young guy told what riddles the inmates in prison ask the newcomer
We now live in a time when you can be behind bars overnight, for example, for reposting a picture on Vkontakte.
And getting into the cell, there is a very high probability that the "first move" will undergo various tests in order to expose him to lice. One of these tests is riddles to which one must be able to answer correctly.
So, remember!
Two chairs (classic):
There are two chairs, on one the peaks are chiseled, on the other the dicks are jerking off, on which one will you sit, on which mother will you sit?
Answer: I'll take the chiseled peaks, cut the dicks off, I'll sit down and put my mother in prison.
Answer # 2: I'll sit on the peaks myself, I'll put my mother on her knees.
Parachute:
You are flying by parachute, on the right is a forest of dicks, on the left is a sea of shit. Where are you going to sit?
Answer: In every forest there is a clearing, and in every sea there is an island.
Pit:
You fell into a hole. There's a pie and a dick in the hole. What will you eat, what will you put in your ass?
Answer: I'll take a pie and get out of the hole.
Ass or mother?
Will you give it to the ass or will you sell it to your mother?
Answer: Ass is not given, mother is not for sale.
Fork:
Question in the forehead: With a fork in the eye or in the ass?
Answer: There are no surebets in the zone.
Answer # 2: Something I don't see one-eyed people here.
Soap or bread?
What do you eat - soap from the table or bread from a pan?
Answer: The table is not a soap dish, a bowl is not a bread box.
About Sahara:
You and the Kent are walking through the Sahara Desert. At a distance of one hundred kilometers, there is no housing, no settlements, no one and nothing but sand. Suddenly a poisonous snake crawls out, rushes to the kent and bites him on the cock. What are you going to do?
Answer: If the kent has a prick above the knee, then the snake will not reach. If it is lower, then he will suck himself.
Answer # 2: Today is Kent, and tomorrow is cop.
About the train:
You are riding a train, chained to levers, they can be turned either to the left or to the right. There is a fork in front - on the right, the mother is tied to a post, on the left there are kents, about ten people. Where will you turn, whom will you crush?
Answer: Today the Kents, and tomorrow the cops.
The answer to all the riddles above is: Wake up.
About bones:
A convict sits on a shkonar, they open a feeder and give gruel, dry bread. In the morning they open the feeder again and see the bones. Question: where do the bones come from if the convict is alive?
Answer: Dice are dice.
About roosters:
There were two roosters, one fucked before dinner, and the other after dinner, who was worse?
Answer: Whoever has a point is already worse.
Football:
Painting on the wall football goal and there is a ball on the floor. They say to score a goal. What will you do?
Answer: Ask for a pass.
Broom:
They give you a broom and say: "Play the guitar something." What will you do?
Answer: Give a broom with the words "And you are in the mood first"
Sew a bottle:
They break the bottle and say: "Go ahead." What will you do?
Answer: Ask to turn it inside out.
Accordion:
They ask to play on the battery, as on the accordion. What will you do?
Answer: Ask to inflate the furs.
P.S. "Today kents, tomorrow cops" means that today they are friends, and tomorrow they will betray.
A collection of prison riddles which are asked to a newcomer to the cell. In certain places, based on your answer, your further fate may happen. Usually, such riddles are asked to beginners for fun, but the riddles themselves and the answers to them will make it clear to you what will apply to you based on answers. Try to give at least a couple of them the correct answer.
1. TWO CHAIRS (CLASSIC):
There are two chairs, on one the peaks are chiseled, on the other x * and other * cheny, on which one will you sit, on which mother will you sit?
2.FORK:
Question on the forehead: With a fork in the eye or at x * ny times?
3.SOAP OR BREAD?
What will you eat - soap from the table or bread from a pan?
4. OUR BOTTLE:
They break the bottle and say: "Go ahead." What will you do?
5. THE HUSBAND IS PLACED IN PRISON FOR 9 YEARS:
They put a man in prison for a strict 9 years. Once his godfather (the head of the prison) says, if you guess the riddle within 9 years, I will let you go, well, the man agreed and the head says:
A word of 9 letters, is in every home, ends with "dawn", but not TV. The man thought he thought for a long 9 years and did not guess. After serving his 9 years, he comes home, enters the house and sees this object and dies of a heart attack.
TWO CHAIRS (CLASSIC): There are two chairs, on one the peaks are chiseled, on the other x * and other * cheny, on which one will you sit, on which mother will you sit?
Answer:I'll take the chiseled peaks, cut down the x * and other * chenas, I'll sit down and put my mother in bed.
Answer # 2:I'll sit on the peaks myself, I'll put my mother on her knees.
PARACHUTE:
You are flying on a parachute, on the right is a forest xy * v, on the left is a sea of shit * a. Where are you going to sit?Answer:In every forest there is a clearing, and in every sea there is an island.
Question on the forehead: With a fork in the eye or at x * ny times?
Answer:And there are no forks in the zone.
Answer # 2:Something I do not see here one-eyed.
SOAP OR BREAD?
What will you eat - soap from the table or bread from a pan?
Answer:The table is not a soap dish, a bowl is not a bread box.
ABOUT SUGAR:
You and the Kent are walking through the Sahara Desert. At a distance of one hundred kilometers, there is no housing, no settlements, no one and nothing but sand. Suddenly a poisonous snake crawls out, rushes to the kent and bites him for x * d. What are you going to do?Answer:If the kent has a prick above the knee, then the snake will not reach. If it is lower, then he will suck himself.
FOOTBALL: Draw a soccer goal on the wall and a ball on the floor. They say to score a goal. What will you do?
Answer:Ask for a pass.
========
BROOM:
They give you a broom and say: "Play the guitar something." What will you do?Answer:Give a broom with the words "And you are in the mood first" TO OUR BOTTLE:
They break the bottle and say: "Go ahead." What will you do?
Answer:Ask them to turn it inside out.
PLACED A MAN IN PRISON FOR 9 YEARS:
They put a man in prison for a strict 9 years. Once his godfather (the head of the prison) says, if you guess the riddle within 9 years, I will let you go, well, the man agreed and the head says:
A word of 9 letters, is in every home, ends with "dawn", but not TV. The man thought he thought for a long 9 years and did not guess. After serving his 9 years, he comes home, enters the house and sees this object and dies of a heart attack.
Answer:TV set. The question is not about what the jailer thought, but about the object about the cat the man first heard from the jailer (TV), and then saw at home. And if you read the condition, you can understand it
Prison riddles This prison game is a famous residence permit, green convicts are frightened by it even earlier, even in pre-trial detention cells in the police, where there is always a seasoned or just talkative and willing to scare neighbor. Usually, such riddles are asked to beginners for fun, but the riddles themselves and the answers to them will make it clear to you what will apply to you based on the answers. They do not refuse prison games. Try to give at least a couple of them the correct answer. Two chairs (classic): There are two chairs, on one the peaks are chiseled, on the other x * and other * cheny, which one will you sit on, which mother will you sit on? Answer: I'll take the chiseled peaks, cut down x * and other * chenas, I'll sit down and put my mother in bed. Answer # 2: I'll sit on the peaks myself, I'll put my mother on her knees. Parachute: You are flying by parachute, on the right is a forest xy * v, on the left is a sea of goats * a. Where are you going to sit? Answer: In every forest there is a clearing, and in every sea there is an island. Yama: You fell into a pit. Pie in the hole and shit. What will you eat, what will you shove in the * oop? Answer: I'll take a pie and get out of the hole. * oops or mother? Will you give me a mother or a mother? Answer: F * pa is not given, the mother is not for sale. Fork: Question in the forehead: With a fork in the eye or at x * ny times? Answer: There are no surebets in the zone. Answer # 2: Something I don't see one-eyed people here. Soap or bread? What do you eat - soap from the table or bread from a pan? Answer: The table is not a soap dish, a bowl is not a bread box. About the Sahara: You are walking with a Kent in the Sahara Desert. At a distance of one hundred kilometers, there is no housing, no settlements, no one and nothing but sand. Suddenly a poisonous snake crawls out, rushes to the kent and bites him for x * d. What are you going to do? Answer: If the kent has a prick above the knee, then the snake will not reach. If it is lower, then he will suck himself. Answer # 2: Today is Kent, and tomorrow is cop. About the train: You are riding a train, chained to levers, they can be turned either to the left or to the right. There is a fork in front - on the right, the mother is tied to a post, on the left there are kents, about ten people. Where will you turn, whom will you crush? Answer: Today the Kents, and tomorrow the cops. The answer to all the riddles above is: Wake up. About bones: A convict sits on a shkonar, open a feeder and give gruel, dry bread. In the morning they open the feeder again and see the bones. Question: where do the bones come from if the convict is alive? Answer: Dice are dice. About roosters: There were two roosters, one e * before dinner, and the other after dinner, who was worse? Answer: For someone it is already worse.
In addition to such riddles, the citizens of the prisoners can offer the beginner a series of tests for ingenuity and ingenuity.
Football: They draw a football goal on the wall and a ball on the floor. They say to score a goal. What will you do? Answer: Ask for a pass. Broom: They give you a broom and say: "Play something on the guitar." What will you do? Answer: Give back the broom with the words "And you are in the mood first". Sew the bottle: They break the bottle and say: "Sew. What will you do? Answer: Ask to turn it inside out. Bayan: They ask you to play on the battery, like on the button accordion. What will you do? Answer: Ask to inflate the furs. Pilots and miners: Who will you be? - asks the beginner. Both are unknown and incomprehensible. Well, a miner, he replies. Then crawl under the bins, there is a face, collect coal. He crawls, wiping off the dust and dirt under the bunk. Get out. Who will you be now? Well, probably, better as a pilot he says. He is blindfolded with a towel. Which box will you fly from - from the bottom or from the top? - they ask him. Frightened if, he says - from the bottom. But he has already heard and understands that the main thing is not to prove himself a coward under any circumstances. From the top, he says. Are you going to fall on dominoes or on placed chess? - they ask him. When you stand blindfolded, it is very vivid, obviously, a picture is presented of how you are flying flat from two meters on the points of spaced figures. It's bad if a newbie chooses dominoes: they will force him to fall, and the registration will begin to tighten. If he overcomes himself and calmly says: for chess, there will be three more minutes of fear and nothing more. While the figures are being placed, while they are being put on the bunk, and the seconds are the most terrible, when you have to fly off it yourself - to fall down with your whole body blindly. Twitching sharply - there was not - he flops down, expecting a sharp pain, but falls onto the stretched blanket. Tolerance to Pain: A beginner may be asked to compete with an old-timer in tolerance to pain. They both are blindfolded (firstly an old-timer), put on both sides of the table, and the beginner's scrotum, he feels it with horror, is tightened with a thin rope, the end of which - as they explain to him - is given into the hands of an opponent. And he is handed the end of the similarly tied rope. The beginning is strictly on command. He quickly pulls the rope, feels unbearable pain, screams and pulls harder, but the pain is even sharper, and he almost faints, because he pulls himself - the rope is simply thrown around the table. They untie his eyes and watch how he reacted to the bullying. Bus: A beginner, gets on all fours, and someone who is heavier perches on his back. Go! A beginner walks two or three meters, then the space that is usually in the cell stops to turn and take a break. The passenger rider asks him what the stop is. Observing the tone of the game, the beginner names one. Let's go further! This will last until he guesses to say: the final stop. Astrologer: A novice astrologer crawls under a quilted jacket and must, through its upwardly extended sleeve - a telescope - count loudly the stars drawn on paper - he clearly sees them through the sleeve, as through a pipe. At this time, a basin unexpectedly pours out on him through the sleeve cold water- a wash basin, called for some reason Alyonka, is always in the cell. How will a beginner react to this, getting out wet under the general laughter of others? Do you respect me? Do you respect me? - asks one of the old-timers. Yes! - the newcomer is ready to answer. Then drink a mug of water to my health. He drinks. Do you respect me? - asks the second. Then a mug for me. And in the cell, as a rule, there are more than a dozen people. After three or four mugs it becomes torture. Guess, beginner, on the second or third round, guess to say that you respect everyone and drink the latter for your overall health. For the information provided in open form we just ask you to SUBSCRIBE to
Many young men indulge in sodomy, lined up in a row, one after another. Each pleases the one in front, while the one who is behind pleases him. The question is which of them is happy in to a greater extent than the rest?
There are two chairs. On one the peaks are chiseled, on the second the dicks are jerked off. On which one will you sit on what mother will you sit on? I'll take the peaks chiseled, I will cut the dicks off.
You fell into a hole. There's a pie and a dick in the hole. What will you eat, what will you put in your ass? I'll take a pie and climb out of the hole.
The convict sits on the shkanar, opens the feeder and gives gruel, dry bread, in the morning they open the robot and see the bones. Question: where do the bones come from if the convict is alive? dice
There were two old men, one fucked before lunch, and the other after dinner, who was worse? Whoever has worse old man's problems
They paint a soccer goal on the wall, and a ball on the floor. They say to score a goal. What will you do? Give pass
You ride the train chained to the levers, and you can turn left or right, as there is a fork in front. Here is a pillar on one road and your mother is chained to it, but on the second your kents, people 10. Who will go where? Today is kent, tomorrow is a cop
With a fork in the eye or in the ass? Something I don't see one-eyed here
You are flying on a parachute, on the left is a sea of shit, on the right is a forest of dicks. Where are you planning? In every forest there is a clearing, in every sea - an island.
Come into the hut, they throw a broom at you with the words "Play something on the guitar." Your actions? Kick aside with the words "Are you in the mood"
Will you give it to the ass or will you sell it to your mother? Ass is not given, mother is not for sale.
A six-five domino is shown. What will you choose? line between 5 and 6
They break the bottle and say "sew up". It is necessary to answer, turn it inside out.
Play on the battery like on the battlefield. Inflate the furs
Chilovek every day come to the bazaar and every time buy 3 (three) stickies, no more minshe. Once the salesman intrisovalsya and asked: Why do you always buy 3 (three) sticks? Did he (the seller) answer: 1 (one) I will lend one piece of linen. I'll pay off with one sticky note. I eat one stick myself ... Can you solve the mystery?
You and the Kent are walking through the Sahara Desert. At a distance of 100 kilometers, there is no housing, no settlements, no one and nothing but sand. Suddenly a poisonous snake crawls out, rushes to the kent and bites him on the penis. What to do? Today is Kent, tomorrow is a cop. If he has a prick above the knee, then the snake will not reach there. And if it is lower, then he himself will be able to suck.
If I put a dick on my back, will you fly like a bird? Fuck is not wings, I am not a bird, and I cannot fly
What are you going to eat - soap from the table or bread from a pan? The table is not a soap dish, a bowl is not a bread box.
There are two chairs- a prison riddle that has become a meme about a difficult choice, in which neither of the two options is perfect.
Origin
The whole task sounds like this: There are two chairs, on one the peaks are chiseled, on the other the dicks are jerking off, on which one will you sit, on which mother will you sit?
Answer: I'll take the chiseled peaks, cut the dicks off, I'll sit down and put my mother in prison.
Answer # 2: I'll sit on the peaks myself, I'll put my mother on her knees.
The riddle belongs to prison folklore and is part of spontaneously formed initiation rite, by a simple "registration". The new prisoner had to pass the test and not get greasy in order to earn the right to be among the other prisoners.
In 2010, this and other elements of prison jargon infiltrated Nulchan's image board, giving rise to a phenomenon that was later called "The Thief." The threads of those times were full of criminal jargon, prison concepts, gop culture and other thieves. In memory of that period, one of the brightest memes about two chairs has been preserved in Runet.
Meaning
The phrase "There are two chairs" (just like that, without a continuation) can often be heard in situations where a person is faced with a difficult choice and neither of the two options suits him. At the same time, many do not even know where the phraseological unit came from, but simply use it as the beginning for a monologue.
Also, this meme can often be heard or seen as a reaction to someone's questionable activity. The person to whom the phrase is addressed usually either rushes between two opposing camps (opinions), or secretly advocates for two opposing sides.
