Participants in bullying at school. Bullying - what is it, how to identify and deal with bullying at school, at work, in the family? What is bullying

It means a very alarming phenomenon - bullying at school has become commonplace: more and more violence, primarily psychological, occurs in educational institutions.

This term originated in Great Britain in 1985, although the phenomenon itself became known at the beginning of the 20th century, when the first publications about it appeared.

Bullying covers many forms of bullying and psychological abuse, regardless of the age, gender, social status of the student. The purpose of bullying is to suppress the personality traits, personality of the child.

Usually another student is mocked - "persecutor" (the name originated from the word bully - bully). He does this in the presence of a whole group of "watching" children in order to impress them.

However, a collective form of bullying is also common, involving multiple persecutors. For her, it is more correct to use another term - mobbing (from mob - crowd). It is believed that mobbing is a milder form of bullying, and bullying is more acute, but, in our opinion, this is a fundamentally incorrect approach to the problem.

Whether the statistics lie

According to Western sources, 50% of students under 14 are subject to school harassment. In adolescence, as they grow older, the prevalence of the phenomenon decreases. But, apart from school, bullying occurs both in kindergarten and among adults.

Research in the Russian school began much later, in the late 2000s. They also found bullying to be widespread. For example, in 2010, researchers found that 22% of boys and 21% of girls at the age of 11 had already been bullied by other children. In adolescents aged 15 years, these indicators are lower - 13 and 12%, respectively.

However, it seems to us that the data are underestimated. Perhaps these are statistics from a fairly “safe” school. And it certainly does not include children who initiate bullying, and this is the group at greatest risk.

Our observations of bullying show that it is noticeably more common in Russia than in Western countries. In general, it is difficult to find an adult who, recalling his school years, could say that he was not subjected to discrimination at all or did not participate in it as a persecutor.

Bullying deforms the personality of not only the victim, but also the initiators

The danger of this phenomenon on the scale of the whole society is traditionally underestimated. Everywhere there is a condescending, indifferent attitude towards bullying in children’s environment on the part of parents, teachers, authorities, society: they say, children are still small, they don’t understand anything, this is not serious!

Often, the victim's parents support and even encourage bullying, speaking in the spirit of: "Children must go through the" life hardening ", face real difficulties." Socialization means that the child is brought up not in hothouse conditions, but in an ordinary children's collective, where, we add from ourselves, no one pays attention to the relationship between children!

However, bullying is very serious. There are many known cases of persecution leading to suicide attempts. Also, more and more often, the victim of bullying with the help of a knife or a gun tries to take revenge on the offenders.

However, instead of finding the real cause of such incidents - condoning violence among children - instead of eliminating the causes and systemic prevention, we only strengthen control and protection, which, in fact, leads to the opposite effect.

Bullying in educational institutions is usually hushed up. Only the most high-profile situations that cannot be hidden become the property of the press and the public.

It is important to understand that high-profile, high-profile stories of bullying are rare, while the bulk of bullying and psychological harassment remains in the background.

In this bulk, cases of bullying do not lead to criminal incidents. They "only" result in personality deformation, persistent educational demotivation, hatred of school, and lead to deep and persistent depression in the victim.

For the persecutors, this is also not without consequences. Aggressive patterns of behavior, left unpunished, unnoticed by adults, are fixed for a long time and appear later in different conditions and for completely different reasons. The scale of aggression and its results also increases, because sooner or later dangerous behavior will be noticed and suppressed.

5 reasons for bullying

Without understanding the reasons for child bullying in solving the problem, it will not be possible to move forward. Moreover, an incorrect and primitive understanding of the reasons only leads to the fact that the persecution will intensify, and their manifestations will become more vivid.

At first, it should be noted that the victims of bullying are students who show their individuality, with obvious features. These include not only shortcomings - delays in physical and mental health, low academic results - but, on the contrary, advanced intellectual development, outstanding abilities and talents, academic success.

The purpose of the persecution is primarily to suppress individuality, and we want to emphasize this especially.

Secondly, in many conversations and some articles about bullying, they offer naive and incorrect interpretations of its causes, as the desire of children to establish a certain social hierarchy in their environment. It is wrong to interpret the motives of bullying in this way, if only because it also exists in kindergartens, among children of 3–6 years old, when there is no question of social hierarchy yet.

And yes, this phenomenon can be used as one of the mechanisms for establishing hierarchy, but at the same time the formation of the order of command is not the direct cause of persecution.

As a rule, bullying, in the usual language of the school, is an attempt by poor and C students to establish superiority over excellent students. Often gifted, talented children are persecuted by the middle peasants who envy them, who are characterized by bravado by their weak successes.

Thirdly, what is important to keep in mind when identifying and studying the manifestations of bullying: almost any conflict of children, their quarrel, fight, even if they seem completely random, is not really random. This is just one episode of bullying (or defending against it) from a very long time that you have noticed. And behind all this there is an ocean of children's relationships hidden from the eyes of an adult, some kind of remarks, teasing, ignoring in response to the appeal.

Fourthly, usually, parents of persecutors support their children in this role. They not only justify, but also praise such behavior, motivating it by the fact that “we have to achieve our goal,” “be strong”.

And the parents of the victims do not support their own children and criticize them: "Why didn't you give him back?" This happens as a result of adults' recollections of how this kind of bullying happened in their childhood, and the desire to recoup, react to these events with the help of their child.

Fifth, Our traditional school with its usual routines and routines (frontal, classroom teaching; grades; teachers focused on lessons and trying their best to complete the curriculum) has practically nothing to resist bullying and harassment in children.

In the classroom, persecution rarely manifests itself (for example, in the sudden refusals of excellent students to answer at the blackboard if they were threatened before the lesson). But during breaks and after school hours, the teacher is not able to control the children.

It is better for the teacher to hide, because he can be blamed in both cases. If he intervenes and stops the initiator, then the persecutor's parents can prosecute him for exceeding their authority. If he does not intervene, he will be accused by the mothers and fathers of the victim of negligence.

In addition, this kind of teacher work is not counted or paid.

By itself, the appraisal of our school, the grades that teachers give to children are a constant source of bullying and mobbing. They gave the child "5" for what many in the class received "3" and "2" and now - the reason for bullying is ready. They gave someone a "2", when many got "4" and "5" - and this is a new reason for bullying.

The signal for persecution is very often given by the teacher, without noticing it. And it denotes a sacrifice - if he utters at least one critical remark in relation to the child, or, on the contrary, distinguishes him from the whole group, praises him.

It happens that one emotional exclamation of an adult is enough to start bullying, not to mention the recent "epidemic" of messages about teachers writing "a fool" on the foreheads of children and something like that.

Yes, a child can behave inappropriately and annoy, but if a teacher so clearly denotes a victim of mobbing that he writes something on her forehead, this is extreme unprofessionalism and a violation of ethics, for which one should not just fire, but deprive a pedagogical diploma!

Often times, class teachers and subject teachers, knowing about bullying, use it to their advantage to manage the class. It is enough to ask those who practice bullying classmates to put things in order, to scold some of the students that "he is pulling the whole class back."

Thus, child bullying and persecution has very deep roots. This is the result and evidence that the society in its development is at a rather low level. This also applies to society as a whole, and the environment in which the child lives.

It is possible to resist violence in a children's collective only by developing relations of creative cooperation and friendship among children, by introducing humanistic values ​​and respect for the child's individuality, whatever it may be, into the collective.

Teachers need to create a creative environment around students that demonstrates to them the correct and positive values ​​and strategies aimed at respecting the individual and the results of his activities.

Bullying: How to Stop Child Bullying

There are many simple and incorrect recipes on how to stop bullying. They boil down to various pedagogical conversations, games and trainings. If such measures lead to any results, then only to the modification of bullying, contributing to their transfer to a higher level.

Bullying is not just a side effect of the socialization of children (and adults), it is a manifestation of their subconscious, the results of the action of the instincts of a primitive man of the Paleolithic era, which, in fact, are children of 6-12 years old.

The psychological mechanisms of the community's survival, leading to persecution today, were formed in humans in the process of their development over hundreds of thousands of years in the Paleolithic era, when a person was a nomad, a nomadic hunter.

For the survival of a nomadic community of people in difficult conditions, strict unification, unity, even the destruction of the sick, children and the elderly were required so that they did not interfere with the movement and joint actions of the group.

The psychological foundations and mechanisms of bullying, like many actions in children, have such a paleoanthropological nature, and only a later culture associated with the humanization of society in the modern period of history can be opposed to it.

We create the necessary atmosphere in the children's team by implementing the Montessori method. The methods of Makarenko, the experience of Sukhomlinsky, the method of collective creative affairs of Igor Petrovich Ivanov, known in Russian pedagogy, made it possible to create children's groups free from violence.

However, unfortunately, we are now going through a period when the humanization of the school, as well as respect for the personality and creativity of the student, is not the best.

The most important thing is to show the child, if he is the object of bullying, that he is not alone, to support him.

You cannot constantly question and force him to retell over and over again how he was bullied, and re-experience humiliation, threats, pressure. It is even more inappropriate to laugh at a child, to scoff at his reaction to bullying, to show that all this is not serious.

The way out of the situation may be to teach a son or daughter not to attach importance to provocations, not to react if you feel that the initiator will not translate psychological violence into physical.

Try to explain to the child that the persecutors are counting on the victim's panic, on the manifestation of her psychological weakness, consisting in crying, complaints, hysterical outbursts. Demonstration of self-sufficiency, dignity and equanimity quickly pacifies the initiators.

However, if you feel that your child is not ready to demonstrate equanimity or is afraid of physical harm, you should contact the school administration, its director, invite the parents of the initiators of the bullying to talk and let them know that you will go all the way in protecting your child, contact the press. and law enforcement.

This is usually enough to solve the bullying problem, as persecutors are ultimately driven by low self-esteem and a desire to increase it at the expense of the victim.

Children who are bullied at school become neurotic, often develop depression, and may attempt to commit suicide.

Bullying at school- a widespread phenomenon that sometimes takes openly shocking forms.

According to a 2007 study, about 35% of American schoolchildren have experienced some form of bullying. More than 10% of children experience bullying on a daily basis, in some cases - for many years.

What it is?

Bullying- aggression directed at one or several people and emanating from the main part of the team or its individual members.

A more common word that is synonymous with bullying is baiting.

Bullying in its most aggressive and visible forms is most common in school.

Students and workers may also encounter it, but this occurs less frequently and in more latent forms(which, however, in any case, are capable of causing serious mental trauma to the target of persecution).

In the process of bullying, the bully may use any form of violence to hurt the target.

The main types of violence:

  • physical. These are beatings (one-time or systematic), slaps, kicks, shocks, damage to things and many other options. Often this leads not only to the appearance of bumps and bruises on the child's body, but also to more serious injuries, such as fractures, damage to internal organs.
  • psychological. Verbal bullying, insults, ignorance, various actions that primarily cause damage (for example, taking things away in order to throw them away so that the victim runs around trying to take away, spitting, slipping unpleasant objects into a backpack - bottles of urine, animal corpses).
  • sexual. This section includes not only the direct rape of the victim, but also various rough acts of a sexual nature - pawing, pulling off clothes, unbuttoning a bra.

Also, the bullying that started at school continues on the Internet... A child who returns home from school and logs into his page on a social network is again faced with bullying, insults, humiliation.

His bullying classmates can spread photos of him taken at school on the Internet, come up with false information, make memes from photos.

This further aggravates the child's condition. There have been numerous cases of teenagers committing suicide due to online bullying.

Bullying on the Internet is called cyberbullying.

When considering bullying in school, it is important to address this side of the phenomenon, since social networks have long been an integral part of human life, and school bullying regularly uses cyberbullying to exacerbate the victim's pain and find new reasons for humiliation.

Example of school bullying: a girl who has not been popular in the class before gaining weight due to illness, other aspects of her appearance are also changing.

Aggressive part of classmates use it as an excuse to start bullying. They humiliate and beat her for several months until she transfers to another school.

Who is at risk? About child bullying in this video:

Causes

When talking about the causes of school bullying, it is important to consider all aspects of this phenomenon. Bullying does not only occur because the victim has characteristics that make her an attractive target for bullying.

Much depends on how the educational institution approaches the issue of bullying prevention and whether it is appropriate at all, whether there are working mechanisms that will stop bullying if it does start.

Also the psyche of individual aggressors matters... For example, some aggressors may have mental disorders that are not too noticeable to a layperson, and violence is practiced in the families of some of the aggressors.

Yes, a fairly significant part of the aggressors do not have pronounced mental problems and poison the victim simply because it seems funny to them and is not stopped, but it is important for educators who solve the problem of bullying to remember that such a possibility exists and, perhaps, the aggressor needs professional help.

When a discussion of the reasons for bullying begins, it usually falls into the realm of "Is the victim to blame or not?", especially when people who are far from the theory of psychology and pedagogy participate in the dialogue.

So, in most cases, the victim is not to blame. There are situations when a child becomes a victim, behaving aggressively towards others, offending teachers, arrogant.

But such situations are relatively few. In most cases, the victim is a child who is just comfortable with bullying. due to the peculiarities of appearance and psyche.

Characteristics of a child that increase the likelihood of being bullied:


In this case, as a rule, the victim's attempt to correct his “wrongness”, because of which, as she believes, she is being bullied, leads nowhere.

A fat child who has lost weight is more likely to be bullied.

This is due to the fact that the main reason for bullying is the ability to bully someone... If the child has already been considered convenient for bullying and this cannot be stopped, he will remain a victim. And under certain conditions, absolutely any child can become an outcast.

Psychologist-teacher Lyudmila Petranovskaya believes that the desire to persecute the weaker is a phenomenon inherent in children and adolescents due to the peculiarities of their age. In this age period, children strive to be part of a common "pack", to be involved in something.

If children do not have something that brings them together, which gives them the feeling that they are part of one whole, they may one day understand that a sense of cohesion, belonging can be obtained if they begin to humiliate someone together.

Children united against someone feel great feel like they are doing something fun and even good.

Therefore, it is important that the behavior of children is controlled by an adult who does not tolerate bullying and who seeks to develop mechanisms for preventing bullying.

About the reasons for bullying at school in this video:

Common types

School bullying, depending on who is the aggressor and who is the victim, is divided into:

  1. Horizontal. This is bullying, in which the aggressor and the victim are on the same line of the school hierarchy, that is, they are schoolchildren. A special case is when boys bully girls. They are very common, as boys are twice as likely as girls to act as bullying, and girls, as weaker ones, are attractive targets for bullying. Horizontal bullying can be rogue by one person or a group. The number of aggressors can be unlimited; quite often practically all of the child's classmates become aggressors.
  2. Vertical. Participants in bullying are at different levels of the school hierarchy. A teacher, director, head teacher can act as a victim or aggressor. It is not uncommon for teachers to bully children, and they usually resort to psychological methods of influence that can not always be noticed. The teacher can often call certain children to the blackboard, and if they cannot answer the questions, he begins to humiliate in public. Students may also start bullying a teacher they don't like. Usually, only psychological abuse is used in such bullying.

In addition, bullying can be:

Psychology of the participants

Traditionally, participants in bullying are divided into:

Also, some classifications include another type of bullying participant - defenders... They may be classmates trying to protect the child from attacks. At the same time, the actions of defenders usually do not completely eliminate the problem of bullying.

The consequences of bullying

About 45% of people who were outcasts in childhood subsequently suffer various mental disorders, especially depression.

How can a child resist bullying at school? Learn from the video:

Tips for parents humiliated sons and daughters:


Tips for teachers:

  1. Gather the children together, ask them about the reasons for this, explain that bullying is unacceptable... Tell us how the children faced with bullying feel, answer the complaints and questions of the bullying. Don't raise your voice, don't insult anyone, keep your composure. It also makes sense to have one-on-one conversations with each of the children actively involved in bullying to make the dialogue more productive.

    When there is no support around the aggressor, your authority will be more significant, and he will not have the opportunity to play to the public.

  2. If the bullying continues call your parents to school and have one-to-one conversations. It is also important to try to raise the issue of bullying in school meetings. It is also important to talk with the parents of the victims; sometimes they are not even aware of what is happening.
  3. Notify the school psychologist about what is happening, consult with him. It is helpful to refer victims and offenders to him so that he can discuss the situation with each of them.
  4. If you are not the class teacher of the group, contact the class teacher and if necessary act together with him, especially if he reacts rather passively and is unlikely to do something on his own.
  5. If the child is regularly beaten and the oppressors become more aggressive, it is necessary to notify the school management.

It is important to explain to the child that he may seek protection here, come to the office, report what happened.

What should the parents of a teenager do when they are bullied at school? Psychologist's opinion:

Prophylaxis

Basic bullying prevention:

  • it is important that the school has competent teachers who are interested in forming positive qualities in children;
  • bullying prevention should be started from the lower grades: during this period, a rigid hierarchy has not yet formed in the class;
  • it is important, together with the class, in the process of dialogue, to come up with rules of behavior, write them down and hang them in the classroom, and, if necessary, remind of their existence;
  • you need to try to unite schoolchildren in a common cause. Contests, competitions, various joint events will help in this.

Real stories

A few stories about bullying:


There are also many films and TV shows related to bullying at school, for example, several adaptations of "Carrie" by Stephen King, the full-length anime "Form of Voice", the famous Soviet film "Scarecrow", based on the work of the same name by Vladimir Zheleznikov.

Bullying - a serious problem of our time, which should be addressed comprehensively and decisively. It is important to cultivate compassion in children, to explain to them that people are different, each has its own peculiarities of the psyche, character, and gradually the number of children faced with bullying will decrease.

The real story of a victim of bullying:

Some people recall their school years with a nostalgic smile, while others tremble. Negative emotions usually appear not because of the most boring lessons or an early wake-up call, but because of bullying or bullying. Such a phenomenon is not something new, it has always been and, unfortunately, always will be. However, this does not mean that school bullying must be tolerated. Not only the victim suffers from bullying and ridicule, the personality of the aggressors is also deformed. Almost any child can be at risk, which is why it is so important to know where bullying comes from and how to deal with this social phenomenon.

School bullying, also known as “bullying” (from the English bullying - bullying, hazing), is understood as a collective or individual harassment of a particular child. The level of violence against the victim varies: sometimes the student is simply laughed at, sometimes beaten or even driven to suicide.

According to the results of studies conducted in 2010 by domestic scientists, more than 20% of boys and girls face aggressive persecution at the age of 11. The situation is no better in foreign educational institutions.

Experts distinguish between 4 main types of school bullying. Moreover, they are often combined, which further worsens the victim's condition.

  • Verbal bullying. They laugh at the child, insult, come up with offensive nicknames associated with his appearance or behavior. As an example - "Foolish" from the movie "Joke".
  • Physical bullying. This includes targeted beatings and mutilations. It is necessary to distinguish this type of bullying from unpleasant, but still common school fights, when opponents are on equal footing.
  • Behavioral terror. The child is declared a boycott, ignored, isolated in the classroom or school, intrigues are brought up against him in the form of theft of portfolios, notebooks. That is, they create unbearable conditions for life in a team in every possible way.
  • Cyberbullying. This is a new "trend" among teenagers associated with the use of high technology. It means bullying on social networks, sending abusive messages by email or phone. It also includes the filming and distribution of the "shameful" video with the participation of the victim.

Read also: Features of adaptation of first graders to school

Bullying should not be confused with conflict situations. A conflict is a clash of parties of approximately equal strength. In the case of bullying, the victim is obviously weaker than the aggressors, and bullying is systemic and long-term.

Reasons for school bullying

It is well known that children are, for the most part, ruthless, unencumbered by high moral principles. Therefore, they often poison classmates because they can. Growing up, such aggressors often repent and even look for an opportunity to ask the victim for forgiveness. Others justify their own behavior, believing that the oppressed peer received "for the cause."

Experts identify two main factors that provoke bullying in the school team.

  1. Wrong family upbringing. Many aggressors are either brought up in families where the "worship" of brute force reigns. Parents are convinced that the child should be able to stand up for himself, however, they are too zealous in their desire to raise a strong person. Another type of aggressor is child leaders who strive to manage the team according to their own rules.
  2. Improper behavior of teachers. Sometimes class teachers themselves provoke bullying by highlighting negative traits in a particular child. But more often, teachers simply do not notice the bullying that has begun because of their employment or "pedagogical blindness." There is connivance on the part of the teaching staff.

The victim's behavior cannot be considered the source of the problem. The humiliated children are not to blame for anything. If you wish, you can find any flaws in any person, but this does not mean that you need to persecute and persecute for this.

There is a version that the victims are more often children with the so-called victim behavior, that is, the most suitable for the role of the victim. However, this does not relieve the aggressors of responsibility. The instigators are always to blame for bullying, and never the victim.

Can bullying be stopped?

It is not only possible, but also necessary. True, psychologists do not give a one hundred percent recipe for how to stop ridicule and bullying at school. It is only important to take into account that in the event of collective bullying, the whole class needs to be treated, since it is impossible to solve the problem in the “victim - aggressor” plane.

Read also: Adaptation of children in kindergarten. Part two

Classmates, albeit not directly involved in bullying, and teachers are also involved in the negative process, so it is necessary to work with them. The main and only possible way to stop bullying is to create a psychologically healthy atmosphere in the team.

As an option for solving the problem - joint tasks that unite the whole class, collective work on a common project, rallying the group through extracurricular activities. But this requires the support of a qualified psychologist and the active involvement of teachers.

The most important step is to call bullying aggression, bullying, and not harmless child's play. Adults should indicate that they have noticed the actions of the aggressors and intend to stop them. In addition, offenders must understand that all their "cool" actions are actually immoral and unworthy.

How to behave to parents

The worst parenting policy is not to interfere. Bullying is not an isolated case of bullying, but a whole system, so a child will not be able to cope with constant bullying with his own, often limited strength.

Indeed, sometimes the bullying itself comes to naught (the main instigator is transferred to another school, for example), but in most cases the victim continues to suffer for a long time, as a result of which the most tragic outcome is possible - suicide.

The conversation between parents and offenders often does not bring any benefit; on the contrary, it only gets worse, so it is better to discuss the current situation with the teaching staff. It is the task of teachers to create a normal atmosphere in the children's team!

If a teenager is beaten, be sure to contact the emergency room to document all beatings, and, of course, law enforcement agencies should be involved. Teachers and parents will be responsible for physical aggression if the offenders are not yet 14 or 16 years old (the age of responsibility depends on the severity of the offense committed).

Another popular question: is it worth transferring the victim to another educational institution if it is impossible to solve the problem on the spot? Some parents are convinced that such a step will not help the child, because he will not learn to fight back the offenders. Whether it is necessary to temper the character, when the result may be suicide, it is up to mom and dad to decide, of course.

Psychology and pedagogy

Extracurricular activities

Child bullying as a form of violence. The problem of child bullying (bullying) at school

Bullying (from bully - to intimidate) is a group situation in which part of the group systematically finds itself in the position of the victim, some in the position of the persecutor (s). Most often, in situations of bullying, there are also observers - those who are not directly involved in the situation, but are nearby. Bullying can occur in any group, including adults, but recently the attention of researchers, psychologists, and the public has been focused on the problem of school bullying. This is due, among other things, to the violation of the child's rights to personal safety, general education, etc.

In Russia, the concept of bullying is most often used as a synonym for school bullying. There is also the term mobbing (from the English mob - crowd), when several people are the aggressors.

Bullying types:

Psychological violence: bullying, offensive jokes, insults, threats, humiliation, social isolation (for example, a boycott), psychological pressure, spreading rumors, etc.

Physical violence: beatings, abuse, damage to property.

What are the reasons for bullying? Bullying situations often arise from a combination of factors. And yet, even with many factors, there may be no direct bullying. However, let's look at the factors that increase the likelihood of being bullied:

Artificially assembled group... The children themselves did not choose to be in this group, and also cannot voluntarily leave it. The group does not meet the interests of the child, the child himself does not choose the activity. Bullying is unlikely in a situation, for example, a hobby group or even a courtyard company, because the child is busy with what is interesting to him and can leave the group at any time. That is, almost all school groups find themselves in one way or another at risk.

Position of the teacher... More often than not, bullying occurs in front of educators. For some reason, teachers do not suppress child cruelty, and, perhaps, unconsciously in some way support bullying, for example, an uncomfortable child, the situation continues to gain momentum.

"Uncomfortable in a group"... Bullying often starts in groups that lack mechanisms to regulate the rules. Some of the children need to feel their influence on the group, to keep track of their status in the group, for someone it is important that it is clear what is happening and some kind of predictability.

Violence in the family of the aggressor. A child who is “under attack” in his family is in a stressful situation. Often, children who turn out to be aggressors and hurt others endure violence and humiliation in their family. And in a group they show their strength and capabilities as they can - they show violence to others and become, even for a while, in a stronger position in which they can decide something.

“Bukvogramma” is a complex modern developmental technique developed by the famous Russian teacher S. Yu. Shishkova. "Bukvogram" has been tested by thousands of parents and educators. The book will help you to ensure the all-round development of your child, prepare him for school, improve speaking and writing in a playful way. Are you looking for a proven guide to help your child develop their reading and writing skills quickly? Tens of thousands of parents have already used an amazing technique called "Bukvogramma"! And she really helped: the children not only quickly mastered reading skills, but also loved this lesson! This book will help parents, educators, teachers and speech therapists solve very important problems in the development of the child: increase the literacy of writing, increase the speed and improve the reading technique by developing spatial orientation, spatial thinking of the child. The book has gone through several reprints, and now you are holding the newest version in your hands, supplemented by interesting and meaningful practical material in the form of exercises and activities.

Who is being bullied? Bullying myths

When discussing a bullying situation, there is a great temptation to start discussing the “victim” of bullying: what is wrong with her / him, and how to get him / her to change his / her behavior. This is what everyday advices are aimed at: “do not pay attention”, “smile more”, “lose weight”, etc. Unfortunately, according to work experience, this approach in correcting the situation turns out to be not only unhelpful, but also harmful. Instead of discussing the victim's characteristics, it is worth switching to the situation in the group, as well as the inadmissibility of abuse / terror.

Any child can become a victim of bullying. A child with the same traits in one group will be bullied and not in another. Moreover, children who become abuser and victim in the classroom can communicate peacefully in a different environment (for example, in the absence of other group members). Bullying is a group systemic process.

Also, when dealing with bullying, it is worth remembering that bullying is not a conflict between children. In the conflict there are two parties who could not agree, do not know how to communicate, and so on. In a bullying situation, inappropriate actions are directed only at the “victim”.

A common myth is that only the “poor victim” suffers from bullying. This is not the case, and numerous studies have shown that both bystanders and active offenders can be traumatized.

Ways to prevent and overcome bullying. General recommendations.

Usually, when educators start to worry about the situation, they start looking for preventive measures. However, it is important to understand at what stage in the development of bullying the situation is, because preventive measures can be useless and also detrimental to the bullying situation.

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What can be effective bullying prevention?

In order to engage in bullying prevention, it is enough that you have a classroom. Here are some things you can use to improve the classroom atmosphere:

Team building. Team building training can be conducted by an educator, school psychologist or a visiting specialist. An adult takes responsibility and gathers a group, teaches children to cooperate to achieve common goals. The class leaders' desires to be the center of attention can be realized in a safe and dignified way, children learn to listen and support each other during class.

Working with group rules... This is a very useful work for the group, it can also be carried out within the framework of the training. The most important thing is that the children will discuss how they can act with each other, and how not, negotiate together. During the moments of discussion, children often have their own point of view, they select arguments, etc. For such a process, you need a dedicated facilitator who can pay attention to everyone and not push the rules that he likes.

Accompanying new children, supervising "seasoned" newcomers... “Newbies” often feel uncomfortable in the group at first. If the class is interested, you can select accompanying for new children (you can even from high school), or divide the roles. If children take responsibility for some area of ​​the life of the class (pulling up those who are lagging behind in school, organizers of concerts and tea parties, etc.), this is also an opportunity to realize the child's abilities.

Discussions with children. Situations where the teacher invites children to speak, discuss something can also be useful for the participants. You can discuss situations in the classroom, you can - some world situations, and you can also watch and discuss cartoons, including about bullying. Discussing the bullying situation, when children can come up with what can be done in different situations, how they can help a friend, etc., is also prevention. There is no need to be embarrassed by such a conversation, on the contrary, children feel more mature and more responsible when discussing different real situations.

Reaction to bullying. Bullying often occurs with the knowledge of the teacher. For “victims” of bullying, it is scary and incomprehensible when there is an adult who cannot influence the situation and protect the child. It is very important that teachers react, talk about the inadmissibility of violence, terror, including verbal, and stop it.

You should not feel sorry for and stand up for the "victim", calling others to pity - often exacerbates the bullying situation.

You should also not disassemble and discuss what is wrong with the "victim"... Even if the child has some special behavior / habits, etc. - when it comes to a bullying situation, this is not the point, but the violence that is committed against a child at school. And even changes in habits, this situation, in most cases, may not change. Children may not be friends, but they should not bully each other.

The teacher has to speak - it can be done in different ways - with the idea that bullying is unacceptable... Refuse to consider bullying "normal", "it just so happened", "nothing can be done." One teacher's position on this issue means a lot to students. The value of this position increases many times over in elementary school.

Very important do not attack the aggressors, do not shame them for bullying... Unfortunately, many children themselves do not always understand what happens to them when they bully someone - this is unconscious behavior. Instead, it is worth working with the class to figure out how to deal with bullying, how to prevent bullying, because bullying is wrong and unacceptable. In a video lecture, Lyudmila Petranovskaya proposes a technology for discussing with children the situation of bullying in the classroom, when bullying is already there.

Supporting positive change... It is important for children when adults react. Positive feedback is something that can support the guys on the way to the desired result. Sometimes educators choose to “ignore” small accomplishments because it’s still far from the goal. However, it is more effective to notice and even celebrate small successes. It can be a tea party or a game about the fact that bullying has left the class for a week / 2 weeks, or something else - of your choice.

When the acute phase of bullying ends, it is worth thinking about what can support the class, make it more friendly, etc. At this stage, it is good to individually work with the “victim” of bullying in order to support, help to get through the negative experience. If there is no bullying in the classroom, this is a good point to return to prevention and think again about quests, games, etc.

The techniques of early childhood development developed by Maria Montessori have become widespread. According to her methodology, every child is special. He must develop and learn in an open space with the support of loving adults. The purpose of this book is to show the difference between preschool and school groups, as well as to identify the potential of an elementary school operating according to the Montessori system and the prospects for its development in our country. Today preschool Montessori groups have become widespread in Russia. But parents who want to continue their children's Montessori education are asking a fair question about elementary school. This book is intended to show the difference between preschool and school groups, as defined by M. Montessori herself, as well as to reveal the potential of this elementary school, widespread in the world, and the prospects for its development in our country. Designed for parents and educators, the book will be useful to teachers and students of pedagogical educational institutions.