The desire to have children is quite natural for every family. However, it often happens that all attempts to get pregnant are not entirely successful. And sometimes such situations negatively affect the psychological state of both spouses. Today we will try to identify the main reasons why women do not get pregnant, both with their first and second children. And also find out which of them you can handle on your own, and in which cases it is better to seek help from medical specialists.

Main reasons

Age

One of the main factors influencing the conception of a child is age. It is probably not a secret for anyone that over the years, the probability of getting pregnant gradually becomes less and less for women. So, for example, at the age of 20-25 years, 95% of the fair sex can do this without much difficulty, but at 25-35 years old, their number is reduced by 15%. Already after 35 years, the mentioned figures drop sharply to 60%.

However, do not jump to conclusions. After all, many girls in the reproductive and pregnancy-friendly age do not immediately manage to conceive a baby. In this case, doctors recommend not to panic too much. And it is worth resorting to the help of specialists only after 2 years if you are under 30, after a year at the age of 30 to 35 years, and after 6 months of trying to get pregnant after 35 years. As for men, with age, their fertile function may not decrease at all.

Common Causes

According to doctors, the causes of infertility can occur in both partners. The most common among them among women are:

• gynecological diseases;
• hormonal disorders;
• stress;
• hypertension;
• weight problems;
• having bad habits.

Causes in men

In men, the main factors that negatively affect the conception of a child are:

• hormonal disorders;
• genetic predispositions and characteristics;
• insufficiency of active spermatozoa;
• the presence of antibodies against their own spermatozoa;
• weak patency of the vas deferens;
• surgical impact on the genitals;
• genital trauma;
• bad habits.

Common Mistakes

The listed factors, as you have already noticed, relate directly to the health and psychological state of the spouses. However, if these are not available and this is verified by medical examinations, it may be worth paying attention to such common mistakes during the conception of a child, such as:

• Application of lubricant- the use of lubricant during sexual intercourse significantly reduces a woman's chances of becoming pregnant. This is due to the fact that many of them damage sperm and are therefore contraindicated for a married couple in the process of conceiving a baby.
• Having sex only on ovulation days- Another common mistake that prevents getting pregnant. The fact is that during prolonged abstinence, the sperm becomes lethargic and inactive, unable to fertilize the egg.
• Eating plenty of vitamin C- reduces the amount of cervical fluid, which contributes to the survival of sperm for the amount of time necessary for fertilization. Therefore, limit your vitamin C intake to 1000 mg per day.
• coffee drinking- If you are still not able to get pregnant, try giving up coffee. After all, some studies show that even one cup of this drink for 1 year can reduce the possibility of conceiving a child by more than 50%.

Why the second pregnancy does not occur

There are also situations when a couple already has their first child, and they are thinking about another one, but all attempts are in vain. In this case, the logical question would be “Why does not the second pregnancy occur”? There can be several answers to it, namely:

• Planning a second pregnancy while breastfeeding the first child. In this case, the likelihood of ovulation and conception is quite low, since the level of the hormone prolactin produced during breastfeeding is overestimated. And he, as you know, blocks the onset of pregnancy.
• The psychological state of a woman. Often a second pregnancy does not occur precisely because all the thoughts of a woman are directed to how to get pregnant. And all of them soon develop into an obsession that torments both spouses.
• Taking medications. It is important to review the entire list of drugs, because many of them significantly affect the condition and quality of sperm. It is best to exclude them completely at the time of the conception of a child.

However, there are more serious causes of infertility that are directly related to the health of the couple. In order to identify and eliminate them, you need to seek help from medical specialists. A number of studies will show the state of your body and ways to solve the problem of conceiving a baby. In the event that you do not have health problems, try to arrange sex more often, monitor nutrition and lead a healthy lifestyle. After all, only regular sexual intercourse, lack of stress and the right attitude can ensure you achieve your goal!

Infertile women told me at our first chance meeting, when they needed a certificate for donation, or a permit when applying for a job: “I only need this from you, otherwise I have been regularly observed in a private clinic for infertility for several years.” One woman has been observed this way for 10 years in a well-known private clinic in Omsk. In such cases, I certainly say: why should a healthy person be observed for money? Once a year, it is enough to undergo a fluorography and an examination room for free. And if there are problems or a disease, then it is necessary to be examined, find out the cause and be cured!

For those who do not get pregnant, it is important to understand that there is some reason due to which there are no children. After all, as it is written in the Gospel: “God is able of these stones to raise up children to Abraham” (Luke 3:8). Even from stones! Why doesn't God give these people children? Something is preventing it. This is what you need to be sure and calmly find out in order for everything to work out. The reason may be one or several, but it is always there! Most often, there are several causes of infertility at once: hereditary, genetic, hormonal, infectious, psychological, disorders in the hemostasis system, endometriosis. For example, someone may have antisperm antibodies, which is an immunological factor in infertility. Some people have more reasons, some less. At the same time, one of the spouses smokes or even both, and this makes conception difficult, while someone else does not smoke, and this is a more favorable moment in a situation of infertility.

If pregnancy does not occur, then this may be due to hyperprolactinemia, insulin resistance or hyperandrogenism. The doctor-endocrinologist finds out it. It must be borne in mind that the presence of a mustache on the upper lip of a woman does not mean that she has a lot of testosterone. Her testosterone may be normal, and there will be no problems with pregnancy (with conception). With hypertrichosis - excessive female-type hair growth - there are also no problems with conception. My friend L. (Russian) has two daughters, a mustache on her upper lip and very excessive hair on her arms and legs, which L. and her husband do not pay any attention to, although her hair is black.

Those women who too want to have a child do not get pregnant, but this does not happen according to our desire. Sometimes pregnancy occurs after the adoption of a child, when the woman finally comes to terms.

Some women never get pregnant, although they were practically healthy. Scientists have found that with infertility there is an unconscious feeling of hatred for her mother, which a woman identifies with hostility towards herself, and transfers hatred to her own children, fearing that she will subsequently be hated by them as well. And the feeling of guilt and fear leads to the conviction that she will die in childbirth. Women became pregnant after realizing a negative feeling towards their mother, after they began to relate more sincerely to their mothers, or got rid of the fear of pregnancy.

Scientists have found that sometimes perfectly healthy women who are fertile do not get pregnant because they play a male role in life, they like to behave like a man.

Infertile women became pregnant after self-critical reflections and the realization that infertility is to some extent a punishment for previous bad deeds and thoughts that the mother or father is allegedly hostile to them, for fears, for feelings of guilt. Scientists also argue that if there is a tendency to kill in the subconscious, fear, anger, alienation, depression, then this affects the reproductive system. Therefore, love for God, for parents, for people, for children, mercy, compassion, joy and desire to live will help to revive the genes.

Here is a case from life. In 2004, I met 28-year-old A in a hairdressing salon. While cutting my hair, I found out that A. had not had children for 9 years. She was examined, but the cause of primary infertility was not established. A. herself believed that she did not become pregnant because the work of a hairdresser was hard, she was on her feet all day. And because of this, doctors advised her to change her profession. But I questioned this cause of infertility. At the same time, I found out that A. does not love her mother-in-law, since she does not love her either. And A. loved her husband very much, was proud of him, how good he is. She loves her husband, but not his mother. Strange. After all, her mother-in-law gave birth and raised her husband for her, who, by the way, will be a grandmother to her children. In her future children - genes and her mother-in-law. How can you not love her?

It would be more correct to thank the mother-in-law for raising her son, who became a real man (he is a military man, an officer). We discussed with A. how to love the mother-in-law. A. doubted success, but listened to my advice. And after 3 months, A. became pregnant and then gave birth safely. I call such situations like this: hatred blocks genes. And I think that God sometimes does not give those children where there is a lot of negativity in the genes, so that it does not increase even more in children. But this is a fixable situation.

The reasons for infertility can be, for example, because of resentment against God: “She gives children to others” or because of resentment against her husband: “She smokes and does not want children.” And if everything is normal, but the pregnancy does not work out, then you need to put up with it, remember your talents and discover them, do creative work or fitness, do physical exercises in the morning, gymnastic exercises or run in the morning. You can not sit, cry and feel sorry for yourself.

Now they often say: "I'm already 40 years old, where to give birth, I'm already old." But we must look not at age, but at the way of life. Everyone knows from the Gospel about the Immaculate Conception of the Virgin Mary. Therefore, there is also a vicious conception? A sinful woman gives birth to a sinful soul? And the Bible says: “Behold, I was conceived in iniquity, and in sin my mother bore me” (Ps 50; 7). The offspring of a vicious woman will be different from those of a chaste mother. Archpriest Andrey Tkachev reminds us that the prophets say: “They will fornicate and not multiply” (Hos 4:10). That is, there will be lust, but children will not be born, God will not bless the children.

Children do not appear according to our desire On the contrary, it often happens that the fact of pregnancy is taken by surprise, when pregnancy is not included in the immediate plans, people want to live for themselves, they are protected. The Bible says that God said: “Be fruitful and multiply” (Genesis 1:28), but is this what marriages and families are created for now? Until recently, the couple, having got married, immediately wanted to have children. Now it's not. With children, modern women increasingly want to wait, put off such an important matter, using contraceptives, which limits their reproductive function for a long time, creating a period of artificial infertility.

We were taught at the medical institute that the optimal age for having children is 21-23 years old, while youth is health. But in life, many take birth control pills for years, and then it turns out that they are infertile. I met patients who were from 30 to 43 years old, with a long period of infertility from 7 to 13 years, and they did not go anywhere for examination and did nothing to clarify the question: why they do not have a pregnancy. But such an important issue of childbearing cannot be left “for later”, because a period may come when illness or injury overtakes. Everything happens in life. Therefore, it is necessary to give birth on time. And if pregnancy does not occur within a year of regular married life, and there is no contraception, then you need to go to the doctors for an examination.

Undoubtedly, the success of a favorable conception depends on many internal and external factors. For example, there are no children because there is a genetic incompatibility of the spouses, that is, he took the wrong person as a spouse, not his own, but someone else's, the spouse was chosen incorrectly. There are cases when there were no children in the family for a long time, but after the spouses parted, the children appeared in new families for both the husband and the wife. Here are my observations from life. Two healthy women aged 33 and 35 became pregnant a month after the death of their parents and safely gave birth to two children within two years, one after 13 years and the other after 14 years of infertility.

And what people say is very important. So many infertile spouses say: “We really want a child” and wait for the fulfillment of this desire for years, doing nothing, until their psyche begins to suffer. Feel the difference between the words "we want a child" and "we love children." The phrases “we want a child” and “we want children” at first glance seem to be about one thing. But life shows that they literally have different meanings: they want to have only one child, or they really want to have several children. So they say. In the words "we want a child" there is, firstly, a desire (I want and that's it! I really want it!), And not love. Secondly, these words carry the desire to have a child, but only one, and if you put it in other words, this means that you want to have only one pregnancy and that's it. After all, it is known that words materialize. When they say “we love children”, then they really love them: their own and others. As they say, there are no other people's children. People who truly love children help and love other children, not just their own.

There have been many times in history when barren people prayed all their lives and gave birth to children in their advanced years. We know from the Bible that Abraham and Sarah were childless for a long time: “But Abraham and Sarah were old and advanced in years, and Sarah’s habit of women ceased” (Genesis 18:11). Nevertheless, when Abraham was 100 years old and his wife Sarah was 90 years old, their first child was born. Isaac prayed for 20 years for his barren wife Rebekah, and when he was 60 years old, she bore him twin sons (Genesis 25; 19-26). Through the prayers of their parents, the Most Holy Theotokos, John the Baptist, St. Nicholas the Wonderworker, Alexander Svirsky and other saints were born.

Moreover, the development of a new human life is also possible under the influence of God's grace, as happened with the Most Pure Virgin. At the age of 14, Mary gave God a promise to remain forever a Virgin, and then she was betrothed by priests to 80-year-old Joseph, who guarded Mary's virginity. And soon the Archangel Gabriel announced that to be Mary the Mother of the Son of God. Mary did not know her husband, and the Archangel said how this would happen: “The Holy Spirit will come upon You, and the power of the Most High will overshadow You.” With God everything is possible.

The Bible says that the Lord "sets a barren mother in the house, rejoicing over children" (Ps 112: 9). And it is. I knew a childless woman who, at age 40, married a widower with three children and took care of her grandchildren. And the Apostle Paul wrote: “Rejoice, barren, barren; exclaim and exclaim, who was not tormented by childbirth; because she who is left has more children than she who has a husband” (Gal 4:27). What do these lines mean? Maybe, having given birth to a child, a woman directs all her love to him alone, and a childless woman loves every child who is nearby?

Not all people have children. And so mankind invented artificial insemination, conception "in vitro", outside the mother's body. In the twenty-first century, new reproductive technologies continue to evolve as the number of infertile marriages rises. A new specialty of a reproductologist has appeared, which deals with assisted reproductive technologies (ART). The federal program allocates quotas for ART, but there are few of them, and the age of women referred for IVF at the expense of the state is limited to 38 years. And although a woman can become a mother at almost any age at her own expense, rejection of even the highest quality embryo or its intrauterine death can occur if the causes of infertility or miscarriage were not identified and eliminated before IVF. There is an algorithm for examining women with infertility. It is necessary to identify and eliminate the cause of infertility, because if the cause of infertility is not identified and eliminated, then when pregnancy occurs, it can most likely terminate it. And if pregnancy does not occur, you still have to look, something has been missed - there must be a reason.

Women who smoke are more likely to be infertile than non-smokers. Smoking is harmful regardless of the number of cigarettes. Spouses who want to have children should completely exclude smoking, alcohol, and drugs. And also it is necessary to exclude overheating in baths and saunas, visits to the solarium and infrared cabins. It has also been proven that with daily use of several cups of strong coffee, the probability of becoming pregnant is reduced by 25%.

You need to know that the microflora of the partners is the same, therefore both need to be treated. And if infertility is due to infections or diseases (endometriosis, for example, or tuberculosis of the female genital organs), then it is necessary to be examined and cured, including by a phthisiogynecologist, who will tell you when to do PCR or culture of menstrual blood for mycobacterium tuberculosis to exclude infectious process in the female genital organs. After all, it is believed that infertility in women, which cannot be cured (eliminated), in 20-25% of cases occurs due to tuberculosis. And women who smoke need to know that nicotine is present even in the mucus of the cervix and in the fluid of the ovarian follicles, and they are most likely to have fallopian tube tuberculosis.

To exclude endometriosis of the uterus, a transvaginal ultrasound should be done on the 5-7th day of the menstrual cycle. If endometriosis of the uterus is detected, its treatment is successfully carried out. There are now enough drugs for his treatment, all give a good effect. It is necessary to look for the cause of infertility by different methods and not stop until it is found. It could also be hyperhomocystemia. Or it just doesn’t work out for “technical” reasons: someone simply doesn’t have a husband, or the uterus can be tilted backwards, while the cervix is ​​located upwards, closer to the womb. Indeed, most often the cervix is ​​\u200b\u200blocated in the posterior fornix, exactly where the sperm is poured, which favors conception in the position of a woman, lying on her back. And when the cervix is ​​located upward, the position of the woman, lying on her stomach, is more favorable for conception.

And more information for those who cannot get pregnant: the egg is capable of fertilization only during the day! And if there was no intimate contact on this day, then pregnancy will not occur. Or, conversely, some infertile couples "make babies every day." But sperm cells mature in 72 hours, and an immature sperm cell does not have the strength to fertilize an egg. Marriage for conception is desirable with an interval of 3-5 days with the definition of an ovulation test, because the egg is viable for only 24 hours, and you need to know this day and have time to get pregnant. At the same time, it must be borne in mind that on the days of Orthodox fasts and holidays, conception is not recommended.

It is believed that on the 14-16th day from the first day of the last menstruation, ovulation occurs - the release of the egg into the abdominal cavity, but every woman ovulates on different days. That is, ovulation can occur immediately after menstruation, or maybe on the eve of the next one. To establish the presence and fact of ovulation, a woman needs to measure the rectal (basal) temperature in the rectum every day for a month, without getting out of bed. So, when a woman measures her temperature, which rises by 0.7-0.4 ° C before ovulation, it is possible to find out the presence or absence of a normal two-phase menstrual cycle. If there is no this temperature peak, then there is no ovulation either, which means there can be no pregnancy, this is an obstacle to conception. The temperature is measured by inserting a conventional mercury thermometer into the rectum to a depth of 2 cm, for 5-7 minutes. It is necessary to write it down, but it is better to sketch it in the form of a graph, as a temperature curve is drawn in a hospital. You can determine the day of ovulation both by measuring rectal temperature and by using an ovulation test, which is sold in a pharmacy. If there is ovulation, but conception does not occur, the reason is different, and you need to look for it further. In the absence of ovulation, an obstetrician-gynecologist will prescribe treatment to stimulate ovulation.

What should be done? First you need to be examined. In large cities, this can be done in special centers. Sexually transmitted infections can lead to infertile marriages or pregnancy losses. Sometimes infections enter the genital tract from a previously infected sexual partner. Active youth, casual relationships in the past do not instruct men and women to be examined for infections before marriage. For example, such a case from my practice: wife K. is 33 years old, primary infertility is 5 years old, Epstein-Barr virus, viral hepatitis C was detected, her husband has a herpes infection. Only when they were treated, the long-awaited pregnancy came.

Therefore, women with infertility or inflammation of the appendages in the past should be screened for infections: cytomegalovirus infection (CMVI), genital herpes (HSV), chlamydia, mycoplasma, ureaplasma, papillomavirus infection and Epstein-Barr virus, gardnerellosis (PCR from the cervical canal) . The examination is not cheap, therefore, if something is detected, then it is necessary to be treated immediately, and not also look at quantitative analyzes. Then it will be even more expensive, and as a result, doctors do not advise to be treated if, for example, viruses are found in the amount of 10². But it has been found! Today in the analysis 10², and tomorrow after stress or hypothermia, everything can worsen, and it will be 100 times more. Who knows?

At the same time, I recommend saving on money and not immediately examining the husband, but being treated together with the husband with the same drugs, if something comes to light. Sometimes the couple decides for themselves which of the spouses will be tested for infections. But more often it is a woman. It is psychologically more difficult for a man to do this, although it is not easy for a woman. Important, that? Analyzes should be taken then and prepared for delivery so that there is a result. If a woman is going to be tested, then the preparation should include some important points so that the money is not wasted. Before taking smears from the cervix for infections, it must be borne in mind that the more discharge there is, the more likely the cause of infertility and miscarriage will be revealed. If the analysis will be taken from the urethra, then you can not urinate for two or three hours before taking smears. And after taking a bath and after douching, there will also be no discharge, and then the analysis will not work, that is, it will be false negative. Infections worsen before menstruation and after taking spicy and salty foods. Therefore, I recommend 7 days before menstruation to start eating garlic, pickles or tomatoes, herring for three days to exacerbate the infection. This will be a double provocation for the infection. I recommend washing these days in the shower, and refraining from intimate relationships, since sperm affects the analysis. By the way, you don’t have to drive your spouse, as many women do, to take a semen analysis. Firstly, it is difficult and humiliating for a man, and secondly, most often these are not problems with sperm, as such, but the presence of infections that are not detected in semen. I advise you to take a semen analysis last, when the stage of examination for infections and hormones has already been completed, but nothing has come to light.

Both spouses need to understand that sometimes too much hatred towards men or women accumulates in the family, and this prevents children from being born. You need to repent that you once did not want to have children (due to studies or lack of an apartment - this does not matter). And the wife is also in the fact that she once envied the boys: “It’s good to be born a boy, it’s good for men: there are no periods, and you don’t need to give birth.” Then the woman will wonder why she can’t get pregnant, and in her blood she has a high level of the male hormone testosterone, and few female hormones, so her periods are gone. All this is due to dislike for yourself as a woman. You need to love yourself for who you are: without makeup, real. After all, the man loves her, but she does not love herself.

Infertility can also be caused by micronutrient deficiencies. Contributes to infertility and ovarian dysfunction, such as manganese deficiency. It has been scientifically proven that in the body of modern people there is an excess of tin, aluminum, lead, cadmium (food dyes, exhaust gases), and they can cause various diseases. Lead poisoning reduces a man's fertility. Cadmium is able to be absorbed in the tissues of the uterus, and the fetus accumulates cadmium from the mother's blood through the placenta. At the same time, the absorption of cadmium in women is 2 times higher than in men, and in the fetus and newborn is higher than in adults. Unfortunately, toxic trace elements do not undergo self-purification processes, but can only be displaced by antagonist metals.

Or the reason for infertility may be that the woman was fond of or engaged in magic (or her ancestors). All this together reduces the likelihood of conception. If someone cannot get pregnant after a medical abortion, reproaching himself, or after an abortion loses subsequent pregnancies, then the way out is in repentance. In an Orthodox church, a priest reads a special prayer over such a woman. Confession, communion, alms help. As Saint John of Kronstadt said, almsgiving covers many sins.

Blood hormones are examined (TSH, prolactin, total testosterone, FSH, LH) and for a lupus test. And you also need sanitation of the oral cavity, regular feasible physical exercises, exclusion of contact with dyes, pesticides, solvents, household chemicals. 3 months before the planned pregnancy, it is recommended to take vitamin E in the 2nd phase of the cycle in a capsule per day, folic acid at a dose of 400 mcg per day and magnesium preparations in courses of 6 weeks.

Spouses need to realize that they are still young, they are not 90 years old and they will succeed. Someone thinks that "already age." But 27-35 years is not old age. For those who consider themselves old, conception is difficult. Both the fear that there will never be children, and the excessive desire to have children prevent a woman from becoming pregnant. It is better to mobilize: what else needs to be done, what to be examined, who else to consult, etc. Try to multiply the love for your parents and for the children of other people.

It's not always the woman who's the problem. If quite recently the proportion of male infertility was only 5%, and now - 40%, and mutual - 20%. In modern men, fertility is declining: the number of spermatozoa and the volume of sperm are decreasing, its quality is deteriorating, and in smokers, the number of immobile spermatozoa is increasing. About 60% of men with chronic inflammatory processes suffer from infertility. With male infertility, it is necessary to be examined and treated by doctors: an andrologist, a venereologist, an endocrinologist, maybe even a sexologist. To improve the male seed, there are now drugs that increase the number and motility of spermatozoa, and this increases the chance of successful conception. And if a man also quits smoking, the effect will be even better.

Some varieties of modern "live" beer contain an increased amount of natural plant hormones, under the influence of which men have a belly like a pregnant woman, and his spermatozoa lose their strength, which makes it difficult to conceive. In addition to testing for infections, the husband needs to determine the hormones in the blood - TSH, prolactin, testosterone, sex-binding hormone, and make a spermogram. And in case of deviation from the norm, find strength in yourself with the support of your wife and undergo the necessary treatment. What won't you do for the kids?

The food of spouses who want to have children should be predominantly plant-based, as this increases the metabolism and the level of prostaglandins. Prostaglandins F2a and E2 are involved in all processes occurring in the reproductive system: the regulation of the menstrual cycle, peristalsis of the fallopian tubes, ovulation, uterine tone, egg advancement and sperm motility. Now doctors often prescribe ultrasound, make them repeatedly do folliculometry. The result is expensive and inefficient. As I say: ultrasound does not heal, and people of the 20th century lived without ultrasound, and managed. But many women often do ultrasound themselves, but they don’t go to the doctors, and they don’t read the ultrasound result themselves. And why then do an ultrasound if the doctor is not shown? Ultrasound should be prescribed by a doctor: what to watch

A case from my practice in 1985-1887, when I worked in a rural hospital. In my gynecological department at different times, two sisters L. and N., who suffered from infertility, were treated and examined. They were married, their surnames were different, so I had no idea that they were relatives (second and third child), in total their mother had 11 children. The oldest N. was 34 years old, she had previously been unsuccessfully examined in Omsk for infertility at a family planning center, and therefore, by that time, she already wanted to adopt a child.

When a clearly hormonal cause of infertility was revealed in L. and N., they became pregnant from the very first month of taking the drugs. They enthusiastically thanked me and asked me to help their third sister, N. Of course, I agreed, but N. herself did not believe in the success of the treatment. And the treatment had no effect, N. did not become pregnant. But in January 1987, N. showed such a decrease in hemoglobin in the blood that she was hospitalized for examination in the surgical department of the Central District Hospital. It didn't even occur to me to repeat her blood test before ovulation stimulation, because N. had previously undergone an examination and looked so ruddy and beautiful. But it turned out that she always had beautiful makeup, with which she smeared very pale skin! I wondered how N. with such low hemoglobin worked, standing all day on her feet (she worked as a salesman). They restored her hemoglobin, only by pouring someone else's blood into her!

When N., healthy, was discharged from the hospital, I recommended that she undergo treatment again. She assured that it would be as useless as the past three months, but then she decided. She had nothing to lose, but what if she succeeded? And from the first month of treatment, N. immediately became pregnant! Hooray! And in November, N. had already successfully had a caesarean section in the regional maternity hospital. All three sisters gave birth in 1987 to healthy children. And their mother came to meet me with gratitude and brought her fourth daughter to me for treatment.

As an Orthodox person, I recommend that unbaptized people be baptized in an Orthodox church. The word "sin" in Greek means "damage to the soul." So you need to think about the soul, why it suffers and there are no children. You need to regularly confess and receive communion, ask the Creator to give children, travel to holy places, help other people's children.

In the distant past, people waited for God to give a baby and prayed. And modern people who do not have children, having passed the necessary examination, go and pay a lot of money in a clinic where they will “make” a child. Someone will succeed, but someone will not be lucky, this happens when they want to bypass the Creator. It seems that everything is so simple: ask the Lord why there are no children; find out from Him the cause of infertility and eliminate it; ask God to give a child, and then accept it, a child sent by the Creator. Orthodox doctor and medical psychologist Zorin K.V. in his books he writes that if God does not give children, then there is a good reason for this. Stubbornness and selfishness can be the cause of infertility, because of which God does not fulfill the excessive desire to have children. The motives for conception are very important. What guides people when they want to have children? Zorin K.V. writes about other causes of infertility, for example, like 31-year-old Natalia, who was married for 8 years, but had no children. Once Natalya, after reading a book about the Holy Matrona of Moscow, suddenly realized that she had no children because her mother had abortions. On the same day, she called her mother in another city and, having expressed her pain to her, asked her to go to church and repent. Mother said that all this was not true, she would not go anywhere and she had nothing to repent of. But some time passed, after prayers and reading an akathist to Saint Matronushka Natalya, her mother called and pleased that she was in the temple, repented to the Lord Jesus Christ. And soon Natalia became pregnant and gave birth to a son.

In 2006, I happened to be in the company of several elderly women. Two of them never had children. Other children frolicked around us. Children ran back and forth, played ball, talked to each other. Normal healthy and mobile children, ordinary noisy ball games. All parents have gone through this and are used to it. But the childless old women could not bear it: after a few minutes they began to resent where the parents of the children were looking, they must be immediately pacified. Further - more, cute-looking old women began to wish death to children ... It was obvious that there was no love for children in their genes. Oh, not in vain they were barren, not just all this.

In 2008, I supervised a 30-year-old patient I. Here is her life story. Grandmother I. gave birth to 6 children, and her mother had one and had 8 abortions. Her maternal aunt is infertile. I. had sex since the age of 16, she took rigevidon contraceptive pills for 5 years, and did not want to have children. And when she wanted to, she could not get pregnant, then there were 9 years of infertility. The woman I. was Orthodox, she married her husband, but when I saw her, the level of fear of losing the pregnancy in I. was extremely high. She refused to see a doctor on a gynecological chair, from taking vaginal swabs for analysis by a midwife, even from an electrocardiogram (ECG). And at the same time, I. really wanted to have a girl (and this is self-will). What if she had a boy? Lack of faith and distrust of God did their job: in the period of 14 weeks, I. had a miscarriage, and on the eve of this, her chorion detachment began to increase steadily and reached a size of 75 mm by 29 mm. At the same time, doctors were powerless to stop the process of rejection of the fetus by the mother. But after suffering, I. realized her mistakes and listened to my advice. And we both believed that with the new pregnancy she would succeed, because the organ is in place and I. succeeds in getting pregnant, only you need to be able to keep the pregnancy until the full term, even a boy, even a girl - everything is one joy.

It is known that many infertile women undergo sanatorium treatment (mud therapy, hydrogen sulfide baths). But not all of them know that radon baths reduce ovarian function, and after an exacerbation of a chronic inflammatory process, one cannot go to the resort for three months. No matter how much you would like to quickly acquire offspring, you must remember that after a spa treatment you cannot become pregnant for two months, as practice has proven: there is a high risk of ectopic pregnancy. I had such patients who had to be operated on after the spa. For some reason no one had warned them before. It is also important that if the spouses are undergoing medical treatment for any disease, it is better to conceive a child two months after the end of treatment. After all, it is only from the blood that the drugs are quickly excreted, but not from the cells: this process takes at least two months.

Now some women have begun to say: give birth, so give birth, as much as God will give, as soon as the opportunity for this appears. And in the Bible, for example, it is written: “Do not desire a multitude of worthless children and do not rejoice over the sons of the wicked. When they multiply, do not rejoice over them if they do not have the fear of the Lord. Do not rely on their lives and do not rely on their multitude. Better one righteous man than a thousand sinners, and it is better to die childless than to have wicked children” (Sir 16:1-4).

In June 2013, I read in the Omsk Orthodox newspaper Annunciation about how, after a trip to the belt of the Most Holy Theotokos, three female pilgrims from the group gave birth to long-awaited babies after a long period of infertility. And at the end of 2013, I gave my friend V. (for the new year) my book “Blessed Birth”. And her daughter L. brought this book to her office to make a photocopy of one chapter. Her colleague saw this and wanted to read the book, as her daughter had infertility. In my book, a colleague L. read a story about 27-year-old O., who had already had two pregnancy losses, had hormonal disorders, and O. had been unsuccessfully treated by an endocrinologist-gynecologist for several years. I then found out that she and her own mother were enemies, and after reconciliation, the hormones in O.'s blood became normal.

So. It turned out that colleague L. had the same situation in life: they were also in a quarrel with their daughter. After reading about this, the mother herself went to her daughter to put up, and gave her to read my book “Blessed Birth”. And already at the end of April 2014, L. called me and told me the good news: her colleague's daughter will give birth in October! Interestingly, a colleague, having told all this to L., asked her: “Do you think this is just a coincidence?”, But L. firmly replied that this was no coincidence, but it was as if the book had helped.

It is clear that without the participation of a man, a woman will not be able to have a child, well, except by IVF. In 2009, I was asked to consult P., who, according to him, had "dead sperm" and wanted a child to tears. But at the same time, P. did not believe that he would have children. Since, after a trauma to the genital organs, P. underwent surgery, and believed that the doctors were to blame, they bandaged him the wrong way: “They didn’t sew it that way.” I questioned this reason: the doctors helped him, in fact, and the cause of infertility does not happen alone. What should he do? It turned out that this infertile man smokes a lot, he was not examined for sexually transmitted infections, he did not determine the level of his hormones in the blood. And P. did not undergo any other examination by doctors, and did not plan to quit smoking. But the desire to have children alone is not enough. P. had to undergo a complete examination, if necessary, eliminate the identified infections, and be sure to quit smoking. That is, it is necessary to "revive the sperm", as he wants IVF to help.

Without a doubt, there is always a reason, finding out and eliminating which, many women can become pregnant naturally. But sometimes people, without finding out the cause of infertility and not eliminating it, naively believe that they can easily get a child for money and then do in vitro fertilization (IVF) 4-5 times. So, in the spring of 2010, I supervised a smoking pregnant 34-year-old Z. after IVF, who first learned from me about the dangers of smoking. But even after that, Z. did not part with her addiction, although the woman had no children. Z.'s husband was also a smoker. It is known that smoking makes it difficult to conceive, but many smoking infertile spouses or those who have lost a child before do not even try to quit smoking, and thereby increase the chance of having a child. Well, why smoke, risking losing such an expensive pregnancy? And if earlier women who underwent removal of the fallopian tubes went to IVF, then modern women go to IVF with intact organs and unexplained causes of infertility. And someone gets pregnant without IVF, if God's help is added to the efforts of doctors. Relying only on money and high technology is not worth it.

For some, IVF does not help. For example, such a case from my practice. The couple, due to the infertility of their husband, which they did not even try to treat, turned to artificial insemination. They just paid for donated sperm. And so three times. For the first time, artificial insemination with donor sperm ended in a miscarriage at 16 weeks of pregnancy. I happened to meet this woman when N., at the age of 27, after the third artificial insemination with donor sperm at 18 weeks of gestation, had sutures on the cervix. N.'s desire to have a child was excessive. I think that a woman would not be so worried if the reason for which she and her husband had not had children before was eliminated.

With God's help, many things can be improved. Priests advise that if the Lord does not give children (even through IVF), do not despair. It is necessary to pray to the Lord, the Most Pure Mother of God and the saints who have been waiting for children for a long time. These are the forefathers Abraham and Sarah, the righteous parents of John the Baptist Zacharias and Elizabeth. Prayers to the Monk Savva the Sanctified, who was a strict monk, also help, but pieces of a palm tree planted by him in the Holy Land (they are distributed by monks at the entrance to the Lavra) help with infertility. Spouses also read a prayer for the gift of children. After all, children are a gift from God, a gift, a reward, just like a caring husband who loves children. It's good when everything fits together and works out well. But if not, it's no coincidence.

I found an interesting and extensive article. Many who fail to have children ask themselves the question “Why?” Someone connects with health, someone says the reason is psychosomatics, some say "God does not give", etc. In fact, there may be several reasons, they may be tied into a ball, there may be one reason, but lying so deep, you will have to dig. The main thing is to find it. Perhaps the article will help someone find the right direction. I wish everyone who has not yet found the happiness of being a mother to find it as soon as possible.

Why does pregnancy not occur?

Infertile women told me at our first chance meeting, when they needed a certificate for donation, or a permit when applying for a job: “I only need this from you, otherwise I have been regularly observed in a private clinic for infertility for several years.”

One woman has been observed this way for 10 years in a well-known private clinic in Omsk. In such cases, I certainly say: why should a healthy person be observed for money? Once a year, it is enough to undergo a fluorography and an examination room for free. And if there are problems or a disease, then it is necessary to be examined, find out the cause and be cured! For those who do not get pregnant, it is important to understand that there is some reason due to which there are no children. Something is preventing it. This is what you need to be sure and calmly find out in order for everything to work out.

The reason may be one or several, but it is always there! Most often, there are several causes of infertility at once: hereditary, genetic, hormonal, infectious, psychological, disorders in the hemostasis system, endometriosis.

For example, someone may have antisperm antibodies, which is an immunological factor in infertility. Some people have more reasons, some less. At the same time, one of the spouses smokes or even both, and this makes it difficult to conceive, someone does not smoke, and this is a more favorable moment in a situation of infertility. If pregnancy does not occur, then this may be due to hyperprolactinemia, insulin resistance or hyperandrogenism. The doctor-endocrinologist finds out it.

It must be borne in mind that the presence of a mustache on the upper lip of a woman does not mean that she has a lot of testosterone. Her testosterone may be normal, and there will be no problems with pregnancy (with conception). With hypertrichosis - excessive female-type hair growth - there are also no problems with conception. My friend L. (Russian) has two daughters, a mustache on her upper lip and very excessive hair on her arms and legs, to which L. and her husband do not pay any attention, although her hair is black. Those women do not get pregnant either who are too eager to have a child, but it does not happen according to our desire. Sometimes pregnancy occurs after the adoption of a child, when the woman finally comes to terms.

Some women never get pregnant, although they were practically healthy. Scientists have found that with infertility there is an unconscious feeling of hatred for her mother, which a woman identifies with hostility towards herself, and transfers hatred to her own children, fearing that she will subsequently be hated by them as well. And the feeling of guilt and fear leads to the conviction that she will die in childbirth. Women became pregnant after realizing a negative feeling towards their mother, after they began to relate more sincerely to their mothers, or got rid of the fear of pregnancy.

Scientists have found that sometimes perfectly healthy women who are fertile do not get pregnant because they play a male role in life, they like to behave like a man.

Infertile women became pregnant after self-critical reflections and the realization that infertility is to some extent a punishment for previous bad deeds and thoughts that the mother or father is allegedly hostile to them, for fears, for feelings of guilt. Scientists also argue that if there is a tendency to kill in the subconscious, fear, anger, alienation, depression, then this affects the reproductive system. Therefore, love for God, for parents, for people, for children, mercy, compassion, joy and desire to live will help to revive the genes.

Here is a case from life. In 2004, I met 28-year-old A in a hairdressing salon. While cutting my hair, I found out that A. had not had children for 9 years. She was examined, but the cause of primary infertility was not established. A. herself believed that she did not become pregnant because the work of a hairdresser was hard, she was on her feet all day. And because of this, doctors advised her to change her profession. But I questioned this cause of infertility. At the same time, I found out that A. does not love her mother-in-law, since she does not love her either.

And A. loved her husband very much, was proud of him, how good he is. She loves her husband, but not his mother. Strange. After all, her mother-in-law gave birth and raised her husband for her, who, by the way, will be a grandmother to her children. In her future children - genes and her mother-in-law. How can you not love her? It would be more correct to thank the mother-in-law for raising her son, who became a real man (he is a military man, an officer). We discussed with A. how to love the mother-in-law. A. doubted success, but listened to my advice. And after 3 months, A. became pregnant and then gave birth safely. I call such situations like this: hatred blocks genes. But this is a fixable situation.

The reasons for infertility can be, for example, because of resentment: "Others give birth to children" or because of resentment against her husband: "Smokes, and does not want children." And if everything is normal, but the pregnancy does not work out, then you need to put up with it, remember your talents and discover them, do creative work or fitness, do physical exercises in the morning, gymnastic exercises or run in the morning. You can’t sit, cry and feel sorry for yourself. Now they often say: “I’m already 40 years old, where to give birth, I’m already old.” But we must look not at age, but at the way of life.

Children do not appear according to our desire On the contrary, it often happens that the fact of pregnancy is taken by surprise, when pregnancy is not included in the immediate plans, people want to live for themselves, they are protected. Until recently, the couple, having got married, immediately wanted to have children. Now it's not. With children, modern women increasingly want to wait, put off such an important matter, using contraceptives, which limits their reproductive function for a long time, creating a period of artificial infertility.

We were taught at the medical institute that the optimal age for having children is 21-23 years old, while youth is health. But in life, many take birth control pills for years, and then it turns out that they are infertile. I met patients who were from 30 to 43 years old, with a long period of infertility from 7 to 13 years, and they did not go anywhere for examination and did nothing to clarify the question: why they do not have a pregnancy. But such an important issue of childbearing cannot be left “for later”, because a period may come when illness or injury overtakes. Everything happens in life. Therefore, it is necessary to give birth on time. And if pregnancy does not occur within a year of regular married life, and there is no contraception, then you need to go to the doctors for an examination.

Undoubtedly, the success of a favorable conception depends on many internal and external factors. For example, there are no children because there is a genetic incompatibility of the spouses, that is, he took the wrong person as a spouse, not his own, but someone else's, the spouse was chosen incorrectly. There are cases when there were no children in the family for a long time, but after the spouses parted, the children appeared in new families for both the husband and the wife. Here are my observations from life. Two healthy women aged 33 and 35 became pregnant a month after the death of their parents and safely gave birth to two children within two years, one after 13 years and the other after 14 years of infertility.

And what people say is very important. So many infertile spouses say: “We really want a child” and wait for the fulfillment of this desire for years, doing nothing, until their psyche begins to suffer. Feel the difference between the words "we want a child" and "we love children." The phrases “we want a child” and “we want children” at first glance seem to be about one thing. But life shows that they literally have different meanings: they want to have only one child, or they really want to have several children. So they say. In the words "we want a child" there is, firstly, a desire (I want and that's it! I really want it!), And not love.

Secondly, these words carry the desire to have a child, but only one, and if you put it in other words, this means that you want to have only one pregnancy and that's it. After all, it is known that words materialize. When they say “we love children”, then they really love them: their own and others. As they say, there are no other people's children. People who sincerely love children help and love other children, and not just their own. There have been many times in history when barren people prayed all their lives and gave birth to children in their advanced years.

I knew a childless woman who, at age 40, married a widower with three children and took care of her grandchildren. Maybe, having given birth to a child, a woman directs all her love to him alone, and a childless woman loves every child who is nearby? Not all people have children. And so mankind invented artificial insemination, conception "in vitro", outside the mother's body. In the twenty-first century, new reproductive technologies continue to evolve as the number of infertile marriages rises. A new specialty of a reproductologist has appeared, which deals with assisted reproductive technologies (ART). The federal program allocates quotas for ART, but there are few of them, and the age of women referred for IVF at the expense of the state is limited to 38 years.

There is an algorithm for examining women with infertility. It is necessary to identify and eliminate the cause of infertility, because if the cause of infertility is not identified and eliminated, then when pregnancy occurs, it can most likely terminate it. And if pregnancy does not occur, you still have to look, something has been missed - there must be a reason.

Women who smoke are more likely to be infertile than non-smokers. Smoking is harmful regardless of the number of cigarettes. Spouses who want to have children should completely exclude smoking, alcohol, and drugs. And also it is necessary to exclude overheating in baths and saunas, visits to the solarium and infrared cabins. It has also been proven that with daily use of several cups of strong coffee, the probability of becoming pregnant is reduced by 25%. You need to know that the microflora of the partners is the same, therefore both need to be treated. And if infertility is due to infections or diseases (endometriosis, for example, or tuberculosis of the female genital organs), then it is necessary to be examined and cured, including by a phthisiogynecologist, who will tell you when to do PCR or culture of menstrual blood for mycobacterium tuberculosis to exclude infectious process in the female genital organs. After all, it is believed that, which cannot be cured (eliminated), in 20-25% of cases it occurs due to tuberculosis. And women who smoke need to know that nicotine is present even in the mucus of the cervix and in the fluid of the ovarian follicles, and they are most likely to have fallopian tube tuberculosis.

To exclude endometriosis of the uterus, a transvaginal ultrasound should be done on the 5-7th day of the menstrual cycle. If endometriosis of the uterus is detected, its treatment is successfully carried out. There are now enough drugs for his treatment, all give a good effect. It is necessary to look for the cause of infertility by different methods and not stop until it is found. It could also be hyperhomocystemia. Or it just doesn’t work out for “technical” reasons: someone simply doesn’t have a husband, or the uterus can be tilted backwards, while the cervix is ​​located upwards, closer to the womb. Indeed, most often the cervix is ​​\u200b\u200blocated in the posterior fornix, which favors conception in the position of a woman, lying on her back. And when the cervix is ​​located upward, the position of the woman, lying on her stomach, is more favorable for conception.

And more information for those who cannot get pregnant: the egg is capable of fertilization only during the day! And if there was no intimate contact on this day, then pregnancy will not occur. Or, conversely, some infertile couples "make babies every day." But sperm cells mature in 72 hours, and an immature sperm cell does not have the strength to fertilize an egg. Marriage for conception is desirable with an interval of 3-5 days with the definition of an ovulation test, because the egg is viable for only 24 hours, and you need to know this day and have time to get pregnant. At the same time, it must be borne in mind that on the days of Orthodox fasts and holidays, conception is not recommended.

It is believed that on the 14-16th day from the first day of the last menstruation, ovulation occurs - the release of the egg into the abdominal cavity, but each woman ovulates on different days. That is, ovulation can occur immediately after menstruation, or maybe on the eve of the next one. To establish the presence and fact of ovulation, a woman needs to measure the rectal (basal) temperature in the rectum every day for a month, without getting out of bed. So, when a woman measures her temperature, which rises by 0.7-0.4 ° C before ovulation, it is possible to find out the presence or absence of a normal two-phase menstrual cycle. If there is no this temperature peak, then there is no ovulation either, which means there can be no pregnancy, this is an obstacle to conception. The temperature is measured by inserting a conventional mercury thermometer into the rectum to a depth of 2 cm, for 5-7 minutes. It is necessary to write it down, but it is better to sketch it in the form of a graph, as a temperature curve is drawn in a hospital. You can determine the day of ovulation both by measuring rectal temperature and by using an ovulation test, which is sold in a pharmacy. If there is ovulation, but conception does not occur, the reason is different, and you need to look for it further. In the absence of ovulation, an obstetrician-gynecologist will prescribe treatment to stimulate ovulation.

What should be done? First you need to be examined. In large cities, this can be done in special centers. Sexually transmitted infections can lead to infertile marriages or pregnancy losses. Sometimes infections enter the genital tract from a previously infected sexual partner. Active youth, casual relationships in the past do not instruct men and women to be examined for infections before marriage. For example, such a case from my practice: wife K. is 33 years old, primary infertility is 5 years old, Epstein-Barr virus, viral hepatitis "C" was detected, her husband has a herpes infection. Only when they were treated, the long-awaited pregnancy came.

Therefore, women with infertility or inflammation of the appendages in the past should be screened for infections: cytomegalovirus infection (CMVI), genital herpes (HSV), chlamydia, mycoplasma, ureaplasma, papillomavirus infection and Epstein-Barr virus, gardnerellosis (PCR from the cervical canal) . The examination is not cheap, therefore, if something is detected, then it is necessary to be treated immediately, and not also look at quantitative analyzes. Then it will be even more expensive, and as a result, doctors do not advise to be treated if, for example, viruses are found in the amount of 10². But it has been found! Today in the analysis 10², and tomorrow after stress or hypothermia, everything can worsen, and it will be 100 times more. Who knows?

At the same time, I recommend saving on money and not immediately examining the husband, but being treated together with the husband with the same drugs, if something comes to light. Sometimes the couple decides for themselves which of the spouses will be tested for infections. But more often it is a woman. It is psychologically more difficult for a man to do this, although it is not easy for a woman. Important, that? Analyzes should be taken then and prepared for delivery so that there is a result. If a woman is going to be tested, then the preparation should include some important points so that the money is not wasted. Before taking smears from the cervix for infections, it must be borne in mind that the more discharge there is, the more likely the cause of infertility and miscarriage will be revealed.

If the analysis will be taken from the urethra, then you can not urinate for two or three hours before taking smears. And after taking a bath and after douching, there will also be no discharge, and then the analysis will not work, that is, it will be false negative. Infections worsen before menstruation and after taking spicy and salty foods. Therefore, I recommend 7 days before menstruation to start eating garlic, pickles or tomatoes, herring for three days to exacerbate the infection. This will be a double provocation for the infection. I recommend washing these days in the shower, and refraining from intimate relationships, since sperm affects the analysis. By the way, you don’t have to drive your spouse, as many women do, to take a semen analysis.

Firstly, it is difficult and humiliating for a man, and secondly, most often these are not problems with sperm, as such, but the presence of infections that are not detected in semen. I advise you to take a semen analysis last, when the stage of examination for infections and hormones has already been completed, but nothing has come to light.

Both spouses need to understand that sometimes too much hatred towards men or women accumulates in the family, and this prevents children from being born. You need to repent that you once did not want to have children (due to studies or lack of an apartment - this does not matter). And the wife is also in the fact that she once envied the boys: “It’s good to be born a boy, it’s good for men: there are no periods, and you don’t need to give birth.” Then the woman will wonder why she can’t get pregnant, and in her blood she has a high level of the male hormone testosterone, and few female hormones, so her periods are gone. All this is due to dislike for yourself as a woman. You need to love yourself for who you are: without makeup, real. After all, a man loves her, but she doesn’t love herself. Infertility can also be caused by a deficiency of trace elements. Contributes to infertility and ovarian dysfunction, such as manganese deficiency. It has been scientifically proven that in the body of modern people there is an excess of tin, aluminum, lead, cadmium (food dyes, exhaust gases), and they can cause various diseases. Lead poisoning reduces a man's fertility. Cadmium is able to be absorbed in the tissues of the uterus, and the fetus accumulates cadmium from the mother's blood through the placenta. At the same time, the absorption of cadmium in women is 2 times higher than in men, and in the fetus and newborn is higher than in adults. Unfortunately, toxic trace elements do not undergo self-purification processes, but can only be displaced by antagonist metals. Or the reason for infertility may be that the woman was fond of or practiced magic (or her ancestors). All this together reduces the likelihood of conception. If someone cannot get pregnant after a medical abortion, reproaching himself, or after an abortion loses subsequent pregnancies, then the way out is in repentance. In an Orthodox church, a priest reads a special prayer over such a woman. Confession, communion, alms help. As St. John of Kronstadt said, almsgiving covers many sins. The blood hormones (TSH, prolactin, total testosterone, FSH, LH) and the lupus test are examined. And you also need sanitation of the oral cavity, regular feasible physical exercises, exclusion of contact with dyes, pesticides, solvents, household chemicals. 3 months before the planned pregnancy, it is recommended to take vitamin "E" in the 2nd phase of the cycle, capsule per day, folic acid at a dose of 400 mcg per day and magnesium preparations in courses of 6 weeks. Spouses need to realize that they are still young, they do not 90 years old and they will succeed. Someone thinks that "already age." But 27-35 years is not old age. For those who consider themselves old, conception is difficult. Both the fear that there will never be children, and the excessive desire to have children prevent a woman from becoming pregnant. It is better to mobilize: what else needs to be done, what to be examined, who else to consult, etc. Try to multiply the love for your parents and for the children of other people. Not always the problem is only in a woman. If quite recently the proportion of male infertility was only 5%, and now it is 40%, and mutual - 20%. In modern men, fertility decreases: the number of spermatozoa and sperm volume decrease, its quality deteriorates, and in smokers, the number of immobile spermatozoa increases. About 60% of men with chronic inflammatory processes suffer from infertility. With male infertility, it is necessary to be examined and treated by doctors: an andrologist, a venereologist, an endocrinologist, maybe even a sexologist. To improve the male seed, there are now drugs that increase the number and motility of spermatozoa, and this increases the chance of successful conception. And if a man also quits smoking, the effect will be even better. Some varieties of modern "live" beer contain an increased amount of natural plant hormones, under the influence of which men have a belly like a pregnant woman, and his spermatozoa lose their strength, which makes it difficult to conceive. In addition to testing for infections, the husband needs to determine the hormones in the blood - TSH, prolactin, testosterone, sex-binding hormone, and make a spermogram. And in case of deviation from the norm, find strength in yourself with the support of your wife and undergo the necessary treatment. What won't you do for the kids? The food of spouses who want to have children should be predominantly plant-based, as this increases the metabolism and the level of prostaglandins. Prostaglandins F2a and E2 are involved in all processes occurring in the reproductive system: the regulation of the menstrual cycle, peristalsis of the fallopian tubes, ovulation, uterine tone, egg advancement and sperm motility. Now doctors often prescribe ultrasound, make them repeatedly do folliculometry. The result is expensive and inefficient. As I say: ultrasound does not heal, and people of the 20th century lived without ultrasound, and managed. But many women often do ultrasound themselves, but they don’t go to the doctors, and they don’t read the ultrasound result themselves. And why then do an ultrasound if the doctor is not shown? Ultrasound should be prescribed by a doctor: what to watch A case from my practice in 1985-1887, when I worked in a rural hospital. In my gynecological department at different times, two sisters L. and N., who suffered from infertility. They were married, their surnames were different, so I had no idea that they were relatives (second and third child), in total their mother had 11 children. The oldest N. was 34 years old, she had previously been unsuccessfully examined in Omsk for infertility at the family planning center, and therefore by this time she already wanted to adopt a child. drugs they got pregnant. They enthusiastically thanked me and asked me to help their third sister, N. Of course, I agreed, but N. herself did not believe in the success of the treatment. And the treatment had no effect, N. did not become pregnant. But in January 1987, N. showed such a decrease in hemoglobin in the blood that she was hospitalized for examination in the surgical department of the Central District Hospital. It didn't even occur to me to repeat her blood test before ovulation stimulation, because N. had previously undergone an examination and looked so ruddy and beautiful. But it turned out that she always had beautiful makeup, with which she smeared very pale skin! I wondered how N. with such low hemoglobin worked, standing all day on her feet (she worked as a salesman). They restored her hemoglobin, only by pouring someone else's blood into her! When N., healthy, was discharged from the hospital, I recommended that she undergo treatment again. She assured that it would be as useless as the past three months, but then she decided. She had nothing to lose, but what if she succeeded? And from the first month of treatment, N. immediately became pregnant! Hooray! And in November, N. had already successfully had a caesarean section in the regional maternity hospital. All three sisters gave birth in 1987 to healthy children. And their mother, with gratitude, came to meet me and brought her fourth daughter to me for treatment. As an Orthodox person, I recommend that unbaptized people be baptized in the Orthodox Church. The word "sin" in Greek means "damage to the soul." So you need to think about the soul, why it suffers and there are no children. You need to regularly confess and receive communion, ask the Creator to give children, travel to holy places, help other people's children. In the distant past, people waited for God to give a child and prayed. And modern people who do not have children, having passed the necessary examination, go and pay a lot of money in a clinic where they will “make” a child. Someone will succeed, but someone will not be lucky, this happens when they want to bypass the Creator. It seems that everything is so simple: ask the Lord why there are no children; find out from Him the cause of infertility and eliminate it; ask God to give a child, and then accept it, a child sent by the Creator. Orthodox doctor and medical psychologist Zorin K.V. in his books he writes that if God does not give children, then there is a good reason for this. Stubbornness and selfishness can be the cause of infertility, because of which God does not fulfill the excessive desire to have children. The motives for conception are very important. What guides people when they want to have children? Zorin K.V. writes about other causes of infertility, for example, like 31-year-old Natalia, who was married for 8 years, but had no children. Once Natalya, after reading a book about the Holy Matrona of Moscow, suddenly realized that she had no children because her mother had abortions. On the same day, she called her mother in another city and, having expressed her pain to her, asked her to go to church and repent. Mother said that all this was not true, she would not go anywhere and she had nothing to repent of. But some time passed, after prayers and reading an akathist to Saint Matronushka Natalya, her mother called and pleased that she was in the temple, repented to the Lord Jesus Christ. And soon Natalya became pregnant and gave birth to a son. In 2006, I happened to be present in the company of several elderly women. Two of them never had children. Other children frolicked around us. Children ran back and forth, played ball, talked to each other. Normal healthy and mobile children, ordinary noisy ball games. All parents have gone through this and are used to it. But the childless old women could not bear it: after a few minutes they began to resent where the parents of the children were looking, they must be immediately pacified. Further - more, cute-looking old women began to wish death to children ... It was obvious that there was no love for children in their genes. Oh, it’s not for nothing that they were infertile, it’s not just that all this. In 2008, I supervised a 30-year-old patient I. Here is her life story. Grandmother I. gave birth to 6 children, and her mother had one and had 8 abortions. Her maternal aunt is infertile. I. had sex from the age of 16, she took birth control pills for 5 years " rigevidon and did not want to have children. And when she wanted to, she could not get pregnant, then there were 9 years of infertility. The woman I. was Orthodox, she married her husband, but when I saw her, the level of fear of losing the pregnancy in I. was extremely high. She refused to see a doctor on a gynecological chair, from taking vaginal swabs for analysis by a midwife, even from an electrocardiogram (ECG). And at the same time, I. really wanted to have a girl (and this is self-will). What if she had a boy? Lack of faith and distrust of God did their job: in the period of 14 weeks, I. had a miscarriage, and on the eve of this, her chorion detachment began to increase steadily and reached a size of 75 mm by 29 mm. At the same time, doctors were powerless to stop the process of rejection of the fetus by the mother. But after suffering, I. realized her mistakes and listened to my advice. And we both believed that with the new pregnancy she would succeed, because the organ is in place and I. succeeds in getting pregnant, only you need to be able to keep the pregnancy until the full term, even a boy, even a girl is all one joy. It is known that many infertile women undergo sanatorium treatment (mud therapy, hydrogen sulfide baths). But not all of them know that radon baths reduce ovarian function, and after an exacerbation of a chronic inflammatory process, one cannot go to the resort for three months. No matter how much you would like to quickly acquire offspring, you must remember that after a spa treatment you cannot become pregnant for two months, as practice has proven: there is a high risk of ectopic pregnancy. I had such patients who had to be operated on after the spa. For some reason no one had warned them before. It is also important that if the spouses are undergoing medical treatment for any disease, it is better to conceive a child two months after the end of treatment. After all, it is only from the blood that the drugs are quickly removed, but not from the cells: this process takes at least two months. Now some women have begun to say: give birth, so give birth, as much as God will give, as soon as the opportunity for this appears. And in the Bible, for example, it is written: “Do not desire a multitude of worthless children and do not rejoice over the sons of the wicked. When they multiply, do not rejoice over them if they do not have the fear of the Lord. Do not rely on their lives and do not rely on their multitude. Better one righteous man than a thousand sinners, and it is better to die childless than to have wicked children” (Sir 16; 1-4). In June 2013, I read in the Omsk Orthodox newspaper “Annunciation” about three female pilgrims from the group, after a long period of infertility, gave birth to long-awaited babies. And at the end of 2013, I gave my friend V. (for the new year) my book “Blessed Birth”. And her daughter L. brought this book to her office to make a photocopy of one chapter. Her colleague saw this and wanted to read the book, as her daughter had infertility. In my book, a colleague L. read a story about 27-year-old O., who had already had two pregnancy losses, had hormonal disorders, and O. had been unsuccessfully treated by an endocrinologist-gynecologist for several years. I then found out that she and her own mother were enemies, and after reconciliation, the hormones in O.'s blood became normal. So. It turned out that colleague L. had the same situation in life: they were also in a quarrel with their daughter. After reading about this, the mother herself went to her daughter to put up, and gave her to read my book “Blessed Birth”. And already at the end of April 2014, L. called me and told me the good news: her colleague's daughter will give birth in October! It is interesting that a colleague, having told all this to L., asked her: “Do you think this is just a coincidence?”, But L. firmly answered that this was no coincidence, but it was as if the book had helped. It is clear that without the participation of a man, a woman has a child will not be able to appear, well, except by IVF. In 2009, I was asked to consult P., who, according to him, had "dead sperm" and wanted a child to tears. But at the same time, P. did not believe that he would have children. Since, after a trauma to the genital organs, P. underwent surgery, and believed that the doctors were to blame, they bandaged him the wrong way: “They didn’t sew it that way.” I questioned this reason: the doctors helped him, in fact, and the cause of infertility does not happen alone. What should he do? It turned out that this infertile man smokes a lot, he was not examined for sexually transmitted infections, he did not determine the level of his hormones in the blood. And P. did not undergo any other examination by doctors, and did not plan to quit smoking. But the desire to have children alone is not enough. P. had to undergo a complete examination, if necessary, eliminate the identified infections, and be sure to quit smoking. That is, it is necessary to "revive the sperm", as he wants IVF to help. Without a doubt, there is always a reason, having found out and eliminated which, many women can become pregnant naturally. But sometimes people, without finding out the cause of infertility and not eliminating it, naively believe that they can easily get a child for money and then do in vitro fertilization (IVF) 4-5 times. So, in the spring of 2010, I supervised a smoking pregnant 34-year-old Z. after IVF, who first learned from me about the dangers of smoking. But even after that, Z. did not part with her addiction, although the woman had no children. Z.'s husband was also a smoker. It is known that smoking makes it difficult to conceive, but many smoking infertile spouses or those who have lost a child before do not even try to quit smoking, and thereby increase the chance of having a child. Well, why smoke, risking losing such an expensive pregnancy? And if earlier women who underwent removal of the fallopian tubes went to IVF, then modern women go to IVF with intact organs and unexplained causes of infertility. And someone gets pregnant without IVF, if God's help is added to the efforts of doctors. Relying only on money and high technology is not worth it. For some, even IVF does not help. For example, such a case from my practice. The couple, due to the infertility of their husband, which they did not even try to treat, turned to artificial insemination. They just paid for donated sperm. And so three times. For the first time, artificial insemination with donor sperm ended in a miscarriage at 16 weeks of pregnancy. I happened to meet this woman when N., at the age of 27, after the third artificial insemination with donor sperm at 18 weeks of gestation, had sutures on the cervix. N.'s desire to have a child was excessive. I believe that a woman would not be so worried if the reason for which she and her husband had not had children before was eliminated. With God's help, much can be corrected. Priests advise that if the Lord does not give children (even through IVF), do not despair. It is necessary to pray to the Lord, the Most Pure Mother of God and the saints who have been waiting for children for a long time. These are the forefathers Abraham and Sarah, the righteous parents of John the Baptist Zacharias and Elizabeth. Prayers to the Monk Savva the Sanctified, who was a strict monk, also help, but pieces of a palm tree planted by him in the Holy Land (they are distributed by monks at the entrance to the Lavra) help with infertility. Spouses also read a prayer for the gift of children. After all, children are a gift from God, a gift, a reward, just like a caring husband who loves children. It's good when everything fits together and works out well. But if not, it's no coincidence