How to visit in order to be known as a good guest. When guests arrive

Everyone has heard an old saying that says "whoever does not go to visit and does not call to himself, he is reputed to be unkind." As you might have guessed, we will talk about going to visit and meeting guests, or rather, about how to properly receive guests and go to visit.

Let's start with the most standard situation: a neighbor comes to you for something. First of all, you should invite her into the house, offer to sit down. If she refuses, do not insist, she may be in a hurry. In turn, the neighbor, noticing that she is distracting you from important matters, should herself politely refuse your offer.

The next situation: you gather all your friends at your home for a birthday celebration, etc. You need to invite all your friends at about the same time. And the person you invite on the last day may think that he was invited only because someone refused to come.

At the table, when you will listen to praise in your address about a wonderful table, evening, etc., you should not talk about how much effort it cost you. Accept the praise with humility and humility, and in return, thank your friends for the nice reviews.

All guests at the evening should be given the same attention. This rule does not apply to older people, and those who are in this company for the first time to help him become his own at a party.

If you see a bored guest, then try to cheer him up somehow. And, if you notice that someone is shy in the company, support him. But, in any case, do not ask such questions as, "why are you bored?", "Why are you silent?" By asking these questions, you embarrass the guest.

So, now let's talk about how to properly visit.

Having come to visit, and seeing there a person with whom you are somewhat at odds with, you do not need to show this in public and sort things out with him. After all, he also came to visit your friends, which means that he means something to them. And there is no need to spoil the evening with various squabbles.

Be sure to compliment the hostess when you taste her dishes, even if you don't like them. At the table, you do not need to constantly focus on yourself, even if it seems to you that everyone is interested in it.

If you know that some topic will be unpleasant for someone present, you should not start it. And if you accidentally started it, then try to turn the conversation to another topic.

Well, what a trip to visit without a gift. The choice of a gift is entirely yours, taking into account the wishes of the person to whom you are visiting. The most important thing when giving a gift is to refrain from comments such as: "Oh, we ran all day, didn't find anything sensible, so we bought it" or "Do you know how much I paid for this thing?"

Adhering to all these rules and regulations, you will be known as a hospitable and polite person.

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We go to visit

Many people do not even suspect that they need to go to visit according to some specific rules. On the wedding anniversary, they do not go to their friends in solemn and mourning attire, and to a neighbor for a cup of tea - in an evening dress. Besides, think about where the saying “An uninvited guest is worse than a Tatar” came from. Not out of nowhere! Of course, there is another saying: "A guest in the house is joy for the owner." But here it is very important to determine: which guest and which host.

Visits

If you are invited and accepted the invitation, it will be disrespectful not to show up. The deadline when you can still opt out of the dinner party is two days before the appointment, with a good enough reason to be given. But if it nevertheless happened that you did not keep your promise and did not come, you need to explain yourself as soon as possible orally or in writing.

It is impolite, often visiting friends, to forget, in turn, to invite them to your place. If someone does not have the conditions for receiving guests in their apartment, you should think about other possibilities: for example, invitations to a cafe, restaurant, theater, if you have a car - for a country walk.

This is not necessary for a young man who visits his girlfriend's house. But he can sometimes bring flowers to her mother, help her father with something.

It happens that there is a disagreement in the family about whether one of the spouses can accept the invitation and go on a visit without the other. Most often, we receive such invitations from our colleagues when there is a promotion in work, the defense of a dissertation, and so on. It is believed that such an invitation may well be accepted, especially since the events associated with it are, as a rule, one-off. In the case of recurring invitations of this kind, you might reply, "I must dedicate this evening to my family." This will make it clear to the inviter that too frequent invitations of only one of the spouses are undesirable.

We go to visit

It is indecent to be late for dinner where you are invited by more than 10 minutes. Even worse than being late, early arrival ... You can find the hosts moving tables, and a hot dinner is in such a state when it still requires hassle in the kitchen.

What should you bring with you to the house where you were invited? If this is not a birthday celebration, it is perfectly appropriate not to bring anything. You can bring sweets to children; from a man, the hostess of the house will be pleased to receive flowers.

What should a woman do with her bag while visiting? It is best to leave it on the dressing table. At the table, on her knees, she will interfere; suspended from the back of a chair - it will still fall. If a woman really wants to keep her bag close at hand, it is best to put it on the floor next to her chair.

When four or six people meet at dinner, you need to wait until the hosts show everyone their place. For a crowded dinner, sit wherever there is room, or wherever you feel like it.

Accepting the invitation, it is ugly to ask: "Who else will be?" When the inviter considers it necessary, he himself speaks about the composition of his guests. Naturally, such evenings often threaten with an unexpected meeting with the very person with whom one would least like to meet. There is nothing to be done, not to notice such a person under such circumstances, not to say hello to him means being impolite to the owners.

You should not smoke one cigarette after another while visiting. Ash should be shaken off exclusively in an ashtray. Absent smokers, who forget about it and drop the ashes on the floor, lead the hosts into a state of nervous breakdown.

When visiting, it is ugly to look at the nearest mirror all the time, to evaluate the apartment, and especially to make critical remarks. On the contrary, without a detailed glance, something pleasant should be said about the house. Do not pry what it cost and where it was bought, do not remove jewelry from the shelves in order to see them from all sides, do not look at the brand of porcelain.

Children are brought to visit only when you are invited with them. Loving parents should refrain from entertaining society with their children. The classical rules of conduct provided that the invitee could bring with him a relative or acquaintance who had come to visit him. This rule is reasonable only if you have warned the hostess. And you shouldn't bring a friend you meet on the street with you - this will not always give the owners pleasure.

If you happen to break or ruin something while visiting, do not offer money. It is better to buy the same thing in exchange or compensate for another, to some extent equivalent. You can take a spoiled thing with you in order to send it for repair, but not so that it has been defective for you for years.

If the society is divided into groups, it is good for the husband to join one of them, and the wife to the other. It is completely unacceptable to amuse society at the expense of your wife or husband. Some people like to publicly make fun of "their half", naively believing that they give others pleasure. As a rule, it is the other way around. Society is bored, and the spouse who is being teased is justly annoyed. Jokes ("Right, my wife is dressed like a teenager?") Or loud remarks ("Leave the cabbage - with your liver ..."), as well as the jokes of the wife or husband on the topic of age, appearance, character, flirting each other are a manifestation of bad taste ...

If one of the spouses has indicated an intention to leave, the other joins this decision without comment. Any disputes on this matter should take place without witnesses.

Is it okay to refuse a treat?

When visiting, it is ugly to refuse a treat, you need to accept the proposed dish without hesitation. It is advisable for someone on a strict diet not to accept dinner invitations at all. But if you nevertheless come, you can always take a smaller portion on your plate, you can even leave it on the plate, but not occupy the attention of those present with your dietary problems or dislike for this dish.

You can refuse a hot dish, but only quite definitely, and not with the words "thank you, not yet", otherwise you will force the hostess to keep a hot dish on the table or heat it up especially for you. In a similar way, you can only refuse cold appetizers or desserts, when the dish can stand on the table for a long time and does not require special attention from the hostess.

If it is not customary to refuse food, then alcohol is quite acceptable. A good excuse is to drive on the way back. You can also refer to the liver, which is somewhat worse.

When visiting, it's good to praise at least one of the dishes. Asking for a recipe for a given dish is a kind of compliment to the hostess; but if she is not too willing to share it, you should not insist: the dish may be her culinary secret.

It is not customary to thank immediately after dinner. If the hostess makes it clear that the dinner is over, everyone obediently moves to another room or just gets up from the table. It is ugly to leave right after dinner, especially if the hostess was busy all the time, shuttled between the dining room and the kitchen, served, cleaned. In such circumstances, only after dinner will she be able to take part in the general conversation - this is her sacred right.

But there are situations when you need to leave early. Then politeness obliges the guest, saying goodbye to the hostess, to briefly name the reason for the early departure. If the society is large, you can not say goodbye to anyone except the owners. This is called everywhere, except England, "to leave in English"; in England this rule is called "leave in French". First you should say goodbye, and only then get dressed, never - the other way around. Leaving, the guests thank you for a pleasant evening, to which the hostess usually replies: “Thank you too” (for coming).

How long to stay away? There is no clear rule here. In any case, if you are invited "for a cup of coffee" after dinner, then you should take into account the fact that, perhaps, the hosts have other plans for the evening. The dinner party, depending on the general mood, can drag on even past midnight. One has only to pay attention to whether the owners are too tired.

Do you watch TV while visiting?

If you come into the house and find the TV not turned on, it is indecent to suggest that the owners turn it on. In such cases, it is natural to assume that the hosts want to talk and therefore invited a guest to their place. You can sometimes casually notice that it is at this time that an interesting program is expected, but if the owners did not show their willingness to watch it, one should not insist.

If the TV is on, the guest should not criticize the clarity of the image or make claims that the singer is tastelessly dressed, and the report is uninteresting - this is not the hosts' fault. It is inconvenient to declare that you are tired of the program when others are watching it with interest or, when others begin to say goodbye, express a desire to finish watching the film.

You should not, while sitting at the table during dinner, all the time turn your head towards the TV or, without looking up, look at the screen. It is even worse to get up from the table and sit in front of the TV while the hosts continue to eat.

Unexpected visit

“Make visits without warning, and you will find out what they think of you,” says a French proverb. Indeed, the face of the person who opens the door to us in such cases is sometimes very expressive, although after this the owner greets us with the words: "Very nice, come in, please."

In modern life, filled with many tasks and responsibilities, an unexpected visit is almost always troublesome. Therefore, unannounced visits are only permissible in cases of emergency.

Do not be fooled by the politeness of the owners - they have no other choice. Stop by, talk and say goodbye very quickly. There is no need to accept an invitation to stay for dinner, which may have been meant only for home.

What little things in the behavior of the owners can suggest that you came at the wrong time? In addition to especially visual facial expressions, an observant person will note a lot of alarming moments: the owner sat down on the edge of a chair, the hostess glances towards the kitchen, fiddles with a ring on her finger, perhaps unconsciously taps a slipper with his toe. The hosts patiently allow you to speak, but they hardly react to what is said. No questions asked. They are not looking for topics of conversation, except that they insert a remark that they have been very "wrapped up" lately. And they don't remember about tea. The owner puts out a half-smoked cigarette and immediately lights another.

It is characteristic that when the guest begins to say goodbye, the hosts liven up and show a special cordiality. Such a turn of events should not deceive you, it is just that the owners began to feel remorse. But these remorse most often come at the same time as the joy of leaving, which is why the farewell looks especially warm.

If you knocked twice or called and no one opens you, you should not "pound" on the door, you need to calmly leave without checking whether the owners are really not at home.

Unexpected guest

Unexpected guests can sometimes upset the owners, causing only an unpleasant surprise and causing unnecessary trouble. Undoubtedly, the hosts would have found sufficient reasons to refuse such guests. But this is not accepted. And then, everyone can find themselves in a situation where they have to rely only on shelter with their friends or acquaintances. Let it be sometimes not entirely pleasant and give you trouble, nevertheless, you should take care of such a guest.

A good hostess will always have some supplies, and she will be able to quickly cook dinner and invite the guest to the table with a sweet smile, even if, out of politeness, he asks not to worry, assuring that he has already eaten.

Another responsibility of yours is to prepare a bed for the guest (bed linen must be fresh!). You must make every effort so that the guest does not feel how much he has burdened you. Your worries should turn into a pleasant pastime for him in your home. He will be happy to talk to you, eat delicious food, sleep in a clean bed, have breakfast in the morning, thank you and leave. However, it would not hurt for him to think that he has disturbed your usual rhythm of life, deprived you of an evening with your family, caused trouble and anxiety. Therefore, such visits, about which it was not agreed in advance, are possible only in extreme cases.

If you are going to surprise your friends with an unexpected arrival, buy flowers for the hostess; you can also bring a box of cakes, cake or ham, good sausage, cheese or wine - in any case, all this will make it easier for the hostess with dinner.

A guest in the future should not forget that his holy duty is to provide reciprocal hospitality.

Visit to the sick

It is best when a person is in a state of recovery, that is, he has not yet left the house, but has already recovered so much that he begins to feel the need to communicate with people pleasant to him. While the person is seriously ill, one should find out about his condition from someone close to him and do it tactfully enough so as not to bother them too much. Only close relatives can visit a seriously ill patient's home, and acquaintances only when asked to do so or they may be useful in some way.

You can bring flowers, fruits, a book to a convalescent person. The same can be brought to the hospital. There are people who do not like and even upset when friends visit them in the hospital. Women are especially uncomfortable, they are embarrassed by a bad appearance - after all, rarely anyone is adorned with illness, and the very atmosphere of the hospital, where you have to receive a guest. You should always check with relatives beforehand if the patient wants to see visitors. It is not necessary for the patient to be visited by his staff. Sometimes this is connected with work, however, even in these cases, you need to first inquire with your family if this can be done, especially if a woman is going to visit a man or vice versa.

You should not elicit the details of his illness from the patient, and also claim that he is bad or, conversely, looks good. Both are often inappropriate.

First visit

In the recent past, the first visit took place differently from the subsequent ones: the invitee had to make sure that he did not "sit up" for more than 20 minutes, and in such cases, no food was served. Nowadays, the first visit is no different from the next.

Previously, it was also customary to send a response invitation within a week after the first visit, otherwise it was believed that the acquaintance would not continue. Today, no one takes on such obligations. We are waiting for an invitation, which should be received on occasion or without occasion in the next two to three months.

The first visit of a young man to the house of his girlfriend's parents is usually associated with a feeling of some awkwardness, hence a number of mistakes that he can make. Troubles can be different, and it is impossible to warn against everything. In any case, it should be remembered: it is better for a young man to sit on a chair, and not on a sofa or an armchair, unless it was offered to him, but here too an unnecessarily free posture is excluded. If one of the owners is standing and treating him to cigarettes, sweets, the young man gets up. He does not smoke himself until the elders smoke. Doesn't look around the room. He does not drink tea from a spoon.

A girl, on her first visit to a young man's parents' home, should greet his mother and father, smiling as respectfully as if the headmistress of the school were in their place. But seriously, for a girl, approximately the same rules are required as for a boy. She should behave naturally, not fiddle with a handkerchief or purse, not braid tablecloth brushes. At the beginning of a conversation - to answer more questions and only later to tell something myself. Treats must be accepted without refusing; there is everything that will be offered. On the first visit, you should not sit too long.

Visits from nonresidents

Visits from other cities in the modern way of life create serious problems for the owners. You can stay with friends and even with relatives only after repeated persistent invitations or in those cases when it is known for sure that otherwise they will be offended. But then be sure to notify in advance about the timing of your arrival.

Residents of resort or summer cottages especially suffer from the raids of uninvited guests. Moreover, the latter often come to "live" in full confidence that all this is quite natural ... on the excursion. After leaving, it is imperative to send a letter of gratitude.

It is possible to call in to your acquaintances with an overnight stay without warning only on condition of the closest friendly relations or if the owners once and for all gave you this right. Having entered a strange city to see friends, you should not, after a few hours, declare your desire to spend the night or come with the same late in the evening. If the situation is hopeless, it should be consulted immediately after arrival. After spending the night, in the morning, do not try to thoroughly clean up the bed after yourself, but just cover it with a blanket.

Gift etiquette

If you love giving gifts, it means that you know how to overcome your own selfishness and know how to take care of what other people need, their wishes and mood. Making gifts is an art that, like any other art, can and should be learned, since it is a manifestation of a person's inner culture. It doesn't matter at all whether you are giving an expensive gift or just a cute souvenir.

Gifts are given to their relatives and friends on a variety of occasions - for a birthday, for a name day, on the day of receiving a diploma or defending a dissertation, for a wedding, for the New Year. A gift should be an expression of our good attitude towards a person, and holidays should be a symbol of genuinely sincere relations between people, and not a means of calming a bad conscience. The ability to give gifts anticipates the ability to love a person.

The value of a gift is not determined by its monetary value. It is possible that the gift is needed and by the way, but the form of its delivery can be so offensive that the person to whom the gift is intended may refuse it. Presenting a valuable gift is not a manifestation of human closeness, but a symbol of material wealth. However, giving valuable gifts is not only the privilege of wealthy people; they are sometimes given by those who do not feel an inner need to give joy to another person as a gift.

In the old days, when the name day was celebrated, the hero of the occasion, without inviting anyone, invariably took care of the festive table and waited for the visits of acquaintances and friends who knew about this day from the calendar. This tradition has survived to this day, although birthday parties are invited by invitation only.

The gift, of course, is given to the one whom they came to congratulate.

If your friend does not arrange a special holiday evening, but under similar circumstances he himself gave a gift, you should take care not to remain in debt.

Flowers - as a gift

The most popular gift is flowers. They always delight and always come in handy, but not every time you can limit yourself to just a beautiful bouquet. Especially if at one time you received another gift from today's birthday person along with flowers.

How to give flowers - wrapped or not? In this case, ancient manuals of good manners gave the following advice: if, having arrived at the celebration, you are handing flowers in the hallway, you can hand them over in a package; if one of the family members opens the door for you and you enter the room with flowers, then remove the paper and present the bouquet to the hero of the occasion without it. Obviously, similar advice can be taken today. By the way, in general, we can talk about packaging only when it is aesthetically pleasing. Do not forget to serve the bouquet with flowers facing up, and not vice versa. Flowers can also be given in a pot.

If you send flowers with delivery from a store, put a note with wishes in the basket or inside the bouquet.

Elderly men or at work can give flowers to their boss on his birthday; it is not customary to give flowers to young men under the same circumstances.

What is better not to give

Don't give your friends or acquaintances very expensive gifts. They are permissible only among close relatives. In relatively recent times, it was considered a manifestation of special cordiality to give friends a thing of their own manufacture. Nowadays, this tradition is gradually losing its former popularity. However, even today, everyone is pleased to receive as a gift beautiful gloves, a skillfully knitted scarf or a trinket carved from wood - objects made by the hands of our friends.

We do not advise women to give ties to men, in such cases it is rarely possible to please. Likewise, a man will never guess the color of a lipstick. It is better in general to exclude accessories of cosmetics in such cases and resort to such gifts only in those cases when a man definitely knows what perfume his lady uses.

It is better not to give animals, even the cutest ones, without discussing this idea with the birthday boy in advance.

It is not always appropriate to present a picture, a reproduction, especially if the degree of a person's addiction to such things is not known exactly. It is not bad if, once having appeared with such a gift, you are no longer in this house; the birthday man can lock him in the closet with a clear conscience. But if you do happen, a well-mannered owner is forced to hang a thing on the wall that, perhaps, he does not like at all.

"Original" gifts such as a pewter lamp, which usually finds solace in the attic of a new owner, or a plaster of Paris figurines can only be presented to amateur collectors. In all other cases, such a gift will only clog up the apartment.

Of the things that were in use, only those that have antique value and jewelry are suitable for a gift. It is better to give the bag or umbrella that you used to a loved one without an excuse, if you want it, but he needs it. On your birthday, you should give albeit the most modest, but a new thing.

What to give?

Can I give money? Undoubtedly, such a gift will always be useful. True, it is precisely this frank practicality that most often deprives the gift of attractiveness. And yet, in some cases, you can practice and such a gift.

Donation inscriptions on books are made in cases where the choice of the book has a specific purpose, which the inscription can emphasize. The inscription is made not on the page where the title of the book is repeated, but on the left - blank: it is more pleasant to keep the title page clean.

If you have a long-standing friendship with the birthday man, it can be useful to negotiate a future gift with him, especially if you intend to buy something for the household. But this is always done in the form of a proposal: whether, for example, your friend prefers a tablecloth or a coffee grinder. But if she prefers a blouse, they buy a blouse.

A boy should think carefully before buying his girlfriend anything from a wardrobe. Especially if she lives with a family. In such cases, the gift is practical, but even if unintentionally “a little more intimate,” it can be misinterpreted.

We list items suitable for a gift in various circumstances.

Official gifts: flowers cut or in a basket; artistically designed edition, good wine, crystal, candies in a box.

Wardrobe items: bag, scarf, home shoes, men's shirt, gloves, socks, belt, stockings, sunglasses, a cut for a dress, a scarf.

Gastronomic: cake, good quality tea, coffee, cocoa, chocolate, oranges, homemade jam.

For a smoker: 10–20 packs of cigarettes of the kind that he always smokes, or those that the birthday boy likes, but he rarely buys them himself; a lighter, a beautiful ashtray, for an amateur - a box of cigars.

For a foreign guest: national works of art, domestic drinks, an album of national works of art, records or music discs.

Jewelry (natural and artificial): cufflinks, necklace, clips, bracelet, brooch. Keep in mind that artificial jewelry should be the most fashionable.

Live gifts (as agreed with the future owner): puppy, kitten, goldfish, siamese cat.

Gifts "to the farm": travel iron, night light, whistle kettle, tablecloth with napkins, elegant shopping bag.

Other gifts: an album for stamps or transparencies, a good quality fountain pen, wallet or purse (with one coin inside), good letter paper, barometer, compass, watchband, flower vase, car accessories, sofa cushion, sportswear or tourist inventory, if it is known that the birthday person may be interested in such things.

Items associated with illness (such as a thermometer to measure temperature) are not suitable for a gift. Lingerie can only be given to family members; in extreme cases, such gifts are given to each other by close friends.

It is worth remembering that individual gift items are sometimes associated with some prejudice. Handkerchiefs seem to be conducive to tears and quarrels, carnations do not bring happiness in love ... People have varying degrees of impressionability, and such gifts may not bring pleasure to individuals. However, whatever the cost, accept any gift with a smile.

What to give to a person who “has everything”? Something that can be useful for long term use. But you can donate things and "temporary" use. Good alcoholic drinks for a man; a woman - sweets, but always something beautiful and pleasant. It is useful to be careful with gifts of a humorous nature.

How to accept gifts

The person receiving the gift must immediately, in the presence of the giver, unfold it, praise and thank. Put flowers in water. It is very impolite to put aside a gift without opening it.

The gift received should not only not be criticized, but even hinted at revealing dissatisfaction. In case you receive what you think is too expensive a gift, sometimes you have to say, “Thank you, but I shouldn't have accepted it. Apparently, now nothing can be done about it, but believe me, such a gift embarrassed me more than made me happy. " It is not very pleasant to say such things and it is completely unpleasant to listen to them, but if you are guilty, listen to a lesson.

Returning a gift (by mail) threatens to terminate the acquaintance.

It is good if the person who received the gift tries to use it immediately in the presence of the giver.

It is not necessary to express special thanks for the written congratulations received by mail; you can do this orally at the next meeting. For the flowers sent, be sure to thank by phone or in writing.

Gifts for celebrations

Women's Day - March 8 sometimes marred by family conflict. The wife is waiting at home, while the husband congratulates the “birthday girls” at work. The advice here is this: those who are late home on Women's Day must come with flowers or a bottle of perfume.

Weddings. Young people invite only parents and registration witnesses. If a large number of guests are invited to the wedding, then notifications should be sent out 2-3 weeks in advance. Such notifications can be of two kinds: they are either short information about the fact itself, its date and place, or detailed data with an additional invitation to come to the wedding reception. It is better to invite the elderly and the most respected persons in person.

Those who received the invitation either come to the wedding, or send a congratulatory telegram to the new surname of the newlyweds.

It is not accepted to come to a wedding celebration without a gift. It has long been customary to give young people household items: a traditional coffee set, a sofa cover, a TV table, an electric mixer, a coffee maker. But even wedding gifts should not be too expensive; close relatives usually give valuable things. It is best for friends to take care of giving their friends the most original and cute gift on their wedding day.

Bulky gifts requiring special delivery are sent on the eve of the celebration; bring a small gift with you.

Flowers can be presented by congratulating the young in the registry office. Original, rare flowers can replace a gift even at a wedding reception.

Newlyweds are often given money. It's very practical. But if you have chosen this type of gift, the amount should be quite significant. If your budget doesn't allow it, get an inexpensive item. Money is handed over to the young in a white unsealed envelope without an inscription, if possible in new, large bills, accompanied by the words: "On a new path of life." A savings book looks somewhat prettier and no less practical.

Money is not a suitable wedding gift if you are invited to meet people older than you, especially if their material well-being is obvious. It is also unsuitable to give money in the case of a brief and superficial acquaintance with the heroes of the occasion.

A gift can be collective - from a group of friends, but then the young should be asked what they prefer: money or some thing.

For gifts, you should thank each guest separately; for a gift received by mail, you must thank the letter within a week.

There is a tradition of giving certain gifts on various wedding anniversaries, especially when anniversaries are being celebrated, although of course it is not necessary to follow this tradition.

1st year from the date of the wedding - chintz (gauze, wadded) wedding. Newlyweds on this day give each other chintz handkerchiefs. Gifts from chintz, cotton, silk, nylon.

2 years - paper wedding. Gifts made of paper, plastic and furniture.

3 years - give products made of leather or any leatherette.

4 years - give gifts made of linen, natural or synthetic silk.

5 years - wooden wedding. The anniversary is already solid. They give wooden products - boxes, candlesticks.

6 years old - gifts from cast iron.

7 years - copper (woolen) wedding. Copper is a valuable material, but it is still far from a noble metal. The spouses exchange copper coins as a guarantee of future happiness. They are presented with items made of wool, wrought copper or brass, and copper jewelry.

8 years old - tin wedding. The focus is on sparkling tin kitchenware. Gifts include bronze or electrical appliances.

9 years old - faience, porcelain, glass or crystal are suitable as a gift.

10 years - pink (pewter) wedding. Those who were at the wedding are invited to visit. Give products made of tin or aluminum. The husband presents his wife with a beautiful bouquet of red roses.

11 years - gifts of steel products.

12th Anniversary - Nickel (Porcelain) Wedding. They give porcelain products.

13 years old - gifts made of lace or fine wool.

14 years old - gifts from ivory or agate.

15 years - crystal (glass) wedding. Give crystal or glass.

20 years - a porcelain wedding. Give porcelain or some furniture.

25th Anniversary - Silver Wedding. Silver items have traditionally been gifted for a silver wedding. You can also give other things for such a celebration. For example, you can donate a collection of classical works, a cozy floor lamp. Champagne or some other good wine will come in handy, as well as good sweets.

30 years - a pearl wedding. Give pearls.

35 years old - give coral or jade.

40th Anniversary - Ruby Wedding. Give rubies or pomegranates.

45th Anniversary - Sapphire Wedding. Give sapphires or tourmaline.

50th Anniversary - Golden Wedding. They give gold items.

55th Anniversary - Emerald Wedding. Give jewelry with emeralds or turquoise.

60 years - give diamonds or gold.

75th Anniversary - Diamond Wedding. Give diamonds or gold.

Invitation

The more crowded the reception you are going to host, the earlier you should invite guests to it. This is usually done in 10 days or a week. In any case, the exact time must be given; you can add that they invite you to pancakes, to watch a video, etc. You can name the reason: "On the occasion of the defense of the diploma", or simply: "Come, there will be several people." The reason is not given if guests are invited on the occasion of a birthday - it is assumed that the guests will guess about it. If they nevertheless turn out to be slow-witted and start asking, you can clarify: "The culprit of the occasion is Irina."

You can simply invite "for coffee" three days in advance and even the day before. If you are inviting one family, the time can be specified at their discretion. In everyday life, guests are usually invited in the afternoon, more often for dinner. Sunday dinners are rare; relatives are usually invited to them.

You can invite guests by phone, in writing or in person. If young people invite older people and, moreover, for the first time, it is polite to do it in person, in extreme cases - in writing.

The source of confusion is sometimes the division of acquaintances into groups and inviting them on different days. There is nothing controversial about this. The owners plan the reception at different times, because the apartment conditions do not allow receiving a large number of guests, or because they want to gather people close to each other in their interests. This is quite natural. But guests often tend to see this as a division of "best" and "worst". The owners will do the right thing if they do not inform their acquaintances: "Come on Wednesday, because on Thursday we will have workmates." You should not invite at the same time those persons about whom you know for sure that they are unpleasant to each other.

It is better to invite friends with children to a house where there are also kids. However, it is possible, of course, to invite friends with children in the event that your children have already grown up.

For the third time, do not invite a person who has not twice accepted your invitation.

When guests arrive, the owner usually opens the door. The hostess does not have to go out into the hallway at every call (except for the case when a special guest of honor comes). The owner helps the newcomers to undress and leads them into the room. The hostess, if she was sitting, gets up and takes a few steps towards the guests.

In any case, it is inconvenient to offer slippers to guests. This is contrary to hospitality and bad taste. A woman comes to visit smartly dressed, combed, and slippers can ruin both the look and the mood. And the man wants to look smart. Guests in slippers involuntarily begin to talk about the price of parsley or interruptions in hot water.

The hosts, when receiving guests, also exchange slippers for shoes. The owner in a clean shirt, tie and jacket. The hostess is well-combed and neatly dressed (leaving the kitchen to greet the newcomers, she takes off her apron). Women should pay special attention to the fact that leaving lipstick on someone else's cheek when kissing is by no means a sign of good form. Lipstick should not spread not only on other people's cheeks, but also on glasses or glasses.

How long should late guests wait when they are the only ones invited? Before their arrival. Guests may even be two hours late, which does not at all give the owners the right to leave the house. This is permissible if the agreement was not certain, but expressed in the word "look". Then, after an hour and a half, you can consider yourself free from the obligation to wait.

In someone else's house

Without thinking about their habits and having no experience in housekeeping, many people can bring any housewife to white heat. Consider some points that you should pay attention to while in someone else's house.

Using cups, plates and saucers under ashtrays, or throwing cigarette butts into leftover tea, coffee or cocktails. If there is no ashtray on the table, then it is assumed that the hostess prefers that you do not smoke after the feast. But if you feel so familiar in this house that you are not ashamed to ask for an ashtray, please do not do this until dessert is served. Smoking while eating is a sign of bad taste and means disrespect for the cuisine offered to you. This, as a rule, is inherent in people living alone, living without a family.

Good conversation and good food should be combined with a comfortable environment. When lighting a cigarette at the table, first ask the hostess for permission, unless, of course, she herself does not smoke. Dropping ashes on the floor, in vases or flower pots, no doubt, will not add to your respect from the hostess. If you didn’t have enough ashtray, you don’t need to improvise, it’s better to ask for another one. A fireplace turned into a dustbin will lose a significant amount of its appeal to other guests. In addition, remember that you may be the only smoker among those present, and then, even acting in accordance with all the rules of etiquette, you may cause discomfort to other guests.

Rocking on the back legs of the chair. If the owner of the house is the owner of expensive furniture, she will hate you doubly for it.

Feet in boots, lying on the bed or on the upholstery of a chair. There are situations, times and places, in which the legs by themselves seek other support than the floor. But be careful, despite all these circumstances, and try to find the strength not to completely spoil the owners' impression of your informal behavior.

Misuse of cutlery: drawing on tablecloths, opening bottles with them, etc.

Use furniture as coasters to get hold of something. If you put all your weight on a chair or spring sofa, the springs can simply burst.

Clutter left in the bathroom. Remember to drain the water and then use the accessories as directed. Men should naturally leave the sink clean after shaving.

If your towel is not hanging in your room, but in the bathroom, after using it, gently straighten it and hang it, rather than throw it crumpled. This spoils the overall look of the bathroom. It is best to leave everything behind the same as it was before you appeared.

Punishing children. Never scold or punish other people's children. If you don't like children, meet your friends outside the home or wait until their children grow up. Normal and healthy children are always a source of increased noise. If you cannot bear it, stay at home.

Scattering paper, tearing pages out of books. After reading the newspaper, fold all the pages in order and place the newspaper in the space provided in the house. Do not leave it on a chair or on the floor. Even if no one after you reads this newspaper, it will be easier to remove it if all the pages are neatly folded. For books, tearing out the pages to mark where you left off, or leaving it open, cover up, ruins the book.

Get up early. If you are used to early morning walks, do it quietly so as not to disturb those who do not yet know that it is already Sunday.

Those who like to have breakfast in their pajamas. If it is customary in the host family to go out for Sunday breakfast in robes and pajamas, you can do the same. But do not take this informal atmosphere so close to your heart that you sit down at the table without combing your hair, washing your face, brushing your teeth.

It is better to go to the table early than to keep others waiting for you. If you were woken up late enough, then, in order not to delay breakfast, you can go out in your pajamas, after having tidied yourself up, but for this you need to ask permission. If you prefer to get dressed anyway, or if everyone else is already dressed, tell them not to be expected.

If you are hungry. The guest can sometimes get hungry between meals. As a rule, bowls of fruit, nuts and sweets are placed in all rooms for guests to have a meal. They can be taken without asking permission.

If you are used to drinking a glass of juice and a cup of coffee in the morning, it will be difficult for you to endure until dinner in a house where it is customary to eat only twice a day on Sundays. In this case, ask for something to eat - a sandwich, toast, or a glass of milk. Express your willingness to cook it yourself. Be sure to clean up after yourself after you're done eating.

A small friendly party in the kitchen near the refrigerator - what could be better. But again, do not leave behind dirty dishes, for the hostess it can be an unpleasant surprise in the morning.

With all the desire to please the hostess, do this only if you see that the hostess herself is not coping, and at the same time try, as much as possible, to adapt to her habits. She is the captain of the ship for you. It doesn't matter how you used to wash your dishes. Perhaps you will be given a great honor - they will entrust you to wash the dishes without the master's supervision. Be proud, because in her heart the hostess has probably already resigned herself to the idea that she will see only fragments of the table service. So that the nightmarish visions that torment her do not turn into reality, treat her plates with due respect.

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You need to go on a visit correctly. This will be a guarantee of whether you will be invited again or will be avoided in every possible way. The article will give advice on what to take, how to behave, how to culturally refuse.

Visiting is a rare event today, but it is very responsible. Your subsequent visits to this house depend on how you behave at a party and whether you follow the rules of good manners.

The same goes for the hosts - guests will be happy to come again if you welcome them. To prepare for this event properly, it is important to know some simple rules and adhere to etiquette.

What to buy when you visit?

It is indecent to visit empty-handed. But not every gift will come in handy.

If you are not very close to those you are going to, do not go to visit with such gifts:

Very expensive items. An expensive gift obliges the owners and implies a return gift
Cosmetics or hygiene products. Such things are chosen individually and may simply not fit
Dishes, decor elements. Many people do not like random things in their home and carefully think over the interior.

What, then, to take as a gift? Perfect for:

If there is a child in the house, be sure to buy sweets, fruits or a toy.
It is advisable for the hostess of the house to give flowers. It doesn't have to be a gorgeous bouquet, a modest bouquet is enough
You can also take a cake, tea, a bottle of alcoholic drink, something made by yourself

What to cook when visiting?

In Europe, it is considered the norm for guests to come with their own food. In our country, this is rare. Usually the hosts treat the guests. Guests can bring their own food in some cases:

If you have known each other for a long time and negotiate dishes in advance
If it is a large cohesive company and, again, by agreement
If you are asked to take something with you

If you have not been asked to prepare food, do not do it on your own initiative. In the end, this may offend the hostess.

But if you decide to take food, remember, your dish should not overshadow the treats of the hostess of the house. Therefore, think in advance what to cook when you go to visit. Food should be uncomplicated, as the rules of good form say. For instance:

Salad
Slicing (cheese, sausage, ham)
Skewer snacks
Cake, pastries

We go on a visit with the children: what can a child visit and what is not?

You can come to a house where there are children with your children without the consent of the owners. If you go where there are no children, then agree on this point. If the child is quite an adult, explain to him about the rules of behavior in someone else's house:

You cannot take any things without permission
Jumping on beds, sofas, armchairs is taboo
It is also not supposed to be in rooms where there is no one.

If the child is just a toddler, the parents' task is to keep an eye on him. Hardly anyone will like broken figurines, inverted flower pots, a frightened cat under the sofa and other "cute" pranks of the crumbs.

A child should not run in a T-shirt tucked into tights. You are dressing up. The child should be dressed comfortably but smartly at the same time.

I'm going on a visit: what to buy for a child?

As mentioned above, it is indecent to visit a child without a gift. A gift for a child depends on his age:

a rattle is suitable for babies
older children can buy fruits, sweets, toys

Important: it is better to agree in advance whether the child can take sweets. Many children are allergic to chocolate and citrus fruits. Also choose the toy according to the age of the child, otherwise he will not like it.

We go on a visit: rules of etiquette

When visiting, follow the rules of etiquette:

If you came to visit and saw your acquaintances there, do not rush to smile at them and exchange greetings. First of all, greet the hosts.
Take your time to meet strangers in the house, let me introduce you to the hosts.
Don't walk around the house uninvited. If the hosts decide to take a tour of the house, compliment their taste.
Do not come to visit with your friends if they are not invited.
Do not take things without asking and do not twist statuettes, souvenirs, other gizmos in your hands, do not open cabinet doors.
Sit down at the table by invitation only.
If you are left alone in the room, wait for the hosts, standing.
Compliment the hostess's culinary skills.
Even if you are not hungry, by decency you should eat at least a little. Your refusal may offend the hostess.
Do not stay too long if you see that the owners are tired. You can stay at a party until a maximum of 23.00. Exceptions are weddings and New Years.
Do not stand at the door, saying goodbye for a long time. They thanked, got dressed, said goodbye, left.
Be sure to let us know that you have made it home successfully and thank you again for the invitation.
Culture guests make a counter invitation. If it is not possible to invite you to your home, then you are invited to a cafe or cinema.

What to take to the guy for a visit?

If a guy invited you to visit, ask if he will be at home alone or with his parents. In the second case, take care of a gift for the parents.
It can be candy, flowers for mom, cake. If you are alone, cook something with your own hands, so you will show your best side.
You can buy some insignificant but useful gift for a guy. What exactly it will be depends on the interests of the guy. Maybe he'll like a map of the world or a new computer mouse.

I'm going to visit a girl: what to give?

As for men, they should also think in advance about a present for relatives and darling. Make sure to give your mom and girl a bouquet. In addition, you can take a cake, sweets, delicious tea in a beautiful package.

Guys, remember, not all girls love stuffed animals. Consider this when you go to visit.

Do you always need to take flowers when visiting?

Flowers can be skipped in some cases:

You go to the man
The hostess doesn't like flowers
You go to close acquaintances to sit in a cozy family atmosphere
You entered unexpectedly or did not make an appointment in advance

In the event that you go to a formal event (wedding, birthday, christening), you need to buy flowers.

A sister goes to visit her brother: what to take with you?

If relatives go to visit each other, it is easier to decide on gifts and treats. It is important whether the brother is married, whether he has children. Provide pleasant gifts for family members.

Children can buy clothes, toys, sweets. For the husband's wife - cake, tea and coffee, her favorite flowers. You can cook your brother's favorite dish, buy a treat for tea.

I don’t want to visit: what to say?

There is nothing worse than a promise to come and not show up.

If you cannot come, let us know in advance, preferably not on the day of your visit, but several days in advance. If there is a good reason, tell the truth. For example:

Urgent business (explain which one)
Disease of yours or loved ones
Urgent work matters

Never say:

That you change your mind and go to visit others
What are you hosting
That you have no money for a visit

If there is no definite reason for unwillingness to visit, you still need to refuse in a cultural form. For instance:

Refer to the headache
Tell them that there is a breakdown at home and that plumbers, electricians or other services must come
Say that you are not in the city if you are often on the road. But in this case, you mustn't get caught.

Be sure to express your regret and apologize.

Close friends can be told the truth. For example: “I don’t want to spoil everyone’s mood and holiday, as I’m going through hard times.” Friends will definitely understand and support you.

Toast to the assembled guests

Toasts are usually made at the table. You can say in your own words, prose or poetry. Note options:

“I want to say a toast to the guests,
For family and friends.
Let me in your honor
A funny toast to read to you.
Wish good health -
This is the first thing. Second -
Wish you fulfillment
All your hopes, achievements! "

“I propose to drink to the guests who bring so much joy and fun to our home! It's scary to even imagine how uninteresting and boring our life would be without guests. How pleasant the worries and troubles, noise and fun in those festive moments when we expect guests! Today I raise my glass to our pleasant and welcome meetings, so that dear guests would gladly visit us, so that Happiness and Joy never leave our home. For the welcome and long-awaited guests! "

“From the bottom of my heart, I want to thank the guests who have gathered around this festive table. Thank you for sharing this celebration with us, for your generous gifts and kind words. Be happy, dear guests! "

Receive guests warmly and with cordiality, visit with a good mood and nice surprises. Then your life will become brighter and more interesting, and people will appear in it who are able to share with you the joys and sorrows.

Video: rules of etiquette at a party

When going on a visit, especially to unfamiliar people or to a solemn event with a large number of guests, familiarize yourself with the rules of behavior in advance in advance. Knowing etiquette for guests, you will find the right solution in any situation, get out of a difficult situation with dignity and leave a favorable impression of yourself.

Do I need an invitation

According to the rules of guest etiquette, you cannot come to unfamiliar people without an invitation. Even relatives and friends should not be visited unannounced - they can be busy, feel bad and not have the slightest desire to spend time with you. If you want to see each other, call ahead and make an appointment. According to the rules of etiquette, it is indecent to go to visit early in the morning or late in the evening. Visits must be made after 12:00 and before 20:00. If you received an invitation to visit, specify the start time, type of event and location. The rules of etiquette require, after receiving an official invitation, to give an answer whether you can come or not. In case of refusal, you need to apologize and thank for.

Can I be late?

You need to come to visit, as to any other meeting, on time. Since all the invitees cannot come together at the same time, and it would be difficult for the hosts to cope with such an influx of guests, you can come 10 minutes earlier or later than the appointed time. According to the rules of guest etiquette, exceeding this time interval is considered indecent. When you are more than 10 minutes late, you need to notify the hosts. If you are invited with a companion, you must warn him: "We are going to visit together" and meet in advance. Entering the house, you need to say hello to the owners. If a woman meets you, according to etiquette, after the words of greeting, you should compliment her appearance or the decoration of the house.

What to take with you?

When people are going to pay a visit or attend a festive event, then all the attention is paid to their appearance. But besides this, it would be good to get acquainted with guest etiquette and learn how to behave, what to take with you, whether you need to buy a gift. When visiting unfamiliar people, it is not customary to bring food, pastries or homemade alcohol with you. This will put the hostess in a very difficult position - according to etiquette, she must put the brought dishes on the table, but, not being sure of their taste and quality, she will feel extremely uncomfortable.

Second half

If you are invited alone, according to the rules of etiquette, you cannot bring companions with you. And it doesn't matter who it will be: the other half, a relative or an acquaintance. When an event is organized, the seats and menus are designed for a certain number of people. Therefore, each unplanned guest will cause a lot of inconvenience. If you really want to take the other half with you, then you need to discuss this with the hosts of the holiday in advance. At the same time, observe guest etiquette - do not insist, ask the question politely, delicately. Never bring children or pets with you. By doing this, you may well ruin a carefully planned holiday.

Present

According to the rules of etiquette, it is considered impolite to come to visit without.

When an event is associated with a significant event: birthday, anniversary, housewarming, etc., then the present is purchased in accordance with the occasion. Give preference to useful, necessary things - giving decor items is risky, because when choosing them you will be guided solely by your own taste.
The price of a gift should be in line with your budget - no need to try to impress by buying an expensive item, but handing a useless trinket is also not worth it.
If you are invited to an event that does not have a thematic attachment, etiquette should not come empty-handed. Flowers were and remain a win-win option - no woman will remain indifferent to a beautiful bouquet.
Alcohol, cake, sweets for tea are always appropriate.
Sweets and cookies must be in their original packaging - according to the rules of guest etiquette, it is considered indecent to bring food purchased in bulk and packed in plastic bags.
If you are not sure about the choice of alcohol, give preference to universal drinks: cognac and white semi-sweet wine.

Even if the visit was not planned in advance, and you spontaneously go to a friendly party, take wine and sweets with you.

Changeable shoes

When it comes to visiting relatives or close friends, no one will take a change of shoes with them. Having come to visit, men will remain in socks, ladies in tights, or they will receive a pair of master's slippers. It is quite another matter if you were invited to a solemn event - according to the rules of etiquette, dress shoes should correspond to the evening dress. When going on a visit, be guided by this principle, and then you will never have doubts in which case you need to take replacement shoes with you.

How to behave at a party

In the rules of etiquette at a party, recommendations are given on various issues. They describe how to behave, communicate with other guests, participate in entertainment, when to go home. Do not loudly express your joy or dissatisfaction. Of course, you may not like some of the guests, some dish or entertainment, but this does not mean that you need to share your opinion with others. After all, you are not a strict critic evaluating someone's work, but a guest who was expected and prepared for whose arrival. Try to keep the conversation going and create a relaxed, friendly atmosphere.

After you have greeted the hosts and introduced you to other guests, you can join the general conversation.
During the conversation, stick to the golden mean - you do not need to be silent or chatter incessantly.
Maintain a conversation, be free, positive, do not boast of your knowledge of some issues, do not try to impose your opinion on other guests.
Observe etiquette - treat the interlocutor with respect, do not interrupt, listen carefully.
In the conversation, it is better not to touch upon those topics that can cause controversy and emotional discussion.
If the hosts have prepared an entertainment program, contests and quizzes, do not sit around, support their endeavors.

Topics that are not accepted to be discussed at a party:

health and disease;
religion;
bad news;
death of mutual acquaintances;
personal problems.

You can independently move around the apartment within the premises where the holiday is taking place. According to the rules of guest etiquette, you cannot enter other rooms, touch and examine things. If you accidentally dropped and smashed something, there is no need to complain loudly and draw the attention of other guests to this. Go to the hostess, apologize for the damage and offer financial compensation. If she refuses, there is no need to insist and forcibly hand over the money.

We leave on time

Sooner or later, a gala reception or house party comes to an end. The final accord is dessert and coffee. After that, the guests say goodbye and go home. If you need to leave early, do so quietly and discreetly. You do not need to look at the clock or fidget about in place - you should discuss this point in advance. According to guest etiquette, in this case, it is enough to say goodbye only to the hosts, indicating the reason and apologizing for leaving so early - the rules of decency do not require saying goodbye to each guest.

No matter how good it is for you at a party, you need to leave on time - more often than not, persuasion to stay for a while is nothing more than a polite gesture. The host party has spent a lot of effort preparing for the event and needs rest. Leaving the house, do not forget to thank the hostess for the hospitality, praise the delicious dishes, and the sincere atmosphere. According to etiquette, the hosts should be invited to visit with a reciprocal gesture; the time of the meeting can be agreed upon later. It is not necessary to arrange a similar reception in honor of the return visit - you can go to a picnic, water park or bowling together.

Knowing the rules of guest etiquette is useful to every person. It is easy to observe them, but it is impossible to forget them. Taking them into service, you can safely go to visit friends or to a gala reception. By practicing etiquette, you will earn a reputation for being cultured and dignified.

Kotya Sapovich continues his weekly etiquette column on Kitchenmag.

I would never have written this column if not for one man. We drove in his car to a nearby restaurant to chat. Not for long. Because I still had to finish the mushroom julienne and cut the snacks - I was waiting for the guests. "Guests? Do you receive guests? Does someone in Moscow visit and receive guests?" And how!

Hosting receptions, presentations and dinners, hosting the evening is a favorite part of my job. And although I am not the most desperate housewife, I also know how and I love to receive guests at home. All you need to do is buy fresh produce, which will become gourmet appetizers, and order the main course in a safe place. Plus wine and good mood. No, really, going to visit is so natural and so great.

All girlfriends and friends are very fond of visiting me. Drink tea and coffee from porcelain mugs, eat outlandish sweets from a vase, where one hundred and one varieties of sweets are mixed - even without serious meals. But there are housewives who will bake the duck playfully, in between times. But the main thing is that there is etiquette describing private visits, which are still relevant to this day.

If you are invited to visit, and you promised to be, there is no greater disrespect than no show. As a last resort, you can warn about it two days in advance, citing a really good reason. Moreover, it is simply necessary to explain - in writing or orally. The short "I won't be here" is practically an insult.

Just imagine yourself in the shoes of the hostess who wasted time and money, who was looking forward to meeting you and getting ready, and to whom half of the guest list did not come. Disgusting.Therefore, if you already know that you are busy on the proposed date, refuse, do not reassure. Accept the invitation - change the rest of the non-fatal (and not related, for example, with urgent foreign or business trips) plans.

Since childhood, I do not like boys and girls who, in response to an invitation, ask two questions. First: "Who else will be?" Second: "Can I be with Gosha?" Just like me, etiquette condemns both questions. The inviting party thinks over in advance the composition of the invitees in order to avoid any kind of embarrassment, therefore, asking the first type of question means offending the host of the evening, doubting his decisions and choices.

The second question is simply monstrous. If you could appear accompanied by a partner or friend, friend, colleague, you would be called "plus one" anyway. Until the host of the evening has done this, you can only gratefully accept the invitation and enjoy the evening. Answering the mute question of couples like "lovebirds" - yes, that's okay. If a certain meeting is of a one-time nature (birthday, wedding, presentation, promotion), one of you accepts such an invitation and goes to visit without the other. And, by the way, children are invited to visit only if you were invited with them.

I think there is no point in talking separately about punctuality in our time. At the same time, being late is as undesirable as a false start. Any housewife will prefer to change the apron for shoes without witnesses. If you plan to offer your friends or girlfriends the same thing (I mean to change your shoes), you should warn them about it. The team of bare feet and heels is traumatic.

What to take with you? The range of options is wide. You can even come to close friends empty-handed, if this is not a celebration, but just dinner. But it's better to take with you a universal bottle of something that you usually drink with the inviting party. It's great to buy for the mistress of flowers. You can also bring sweets with you, but it is important that it does not overshadow the dessert prepared by the hostess. Conventionally, sweets and similar sweets - yes, cake from the Pushkin confectionery - no.

Guests should not be wandering around the apartment alone. The hosts must show the guests the house themselves and invite them to sit down. And when you are shown an apartment, you should not take objects from the shelves and twirl them in your hands. The only exception is books if they can be taken from the shelf without hindrance. Asking what was bought where, if we are not talking about souvenirs from the trip, is also not accepted. And, of course, the apartment should be a compliment.If up to six people meet at a party, the seats are allocated and indicated by the inviter, if there are more, the guests are occupied by the vacant ones.

Frankly, then, in the car, and even now, sitting down at this column, I had no idea that I could say so much about receiving guests. There will be enough nuances for the second chapter, so I invite you to meet here next week and discuss the rest of the subtleties of visiting. And I really hope that you have already wanted to invite your friends to your home. It is troublesome to be hosts, but how pleasant it is to be guests when they invite you in return!