Calm inside yourself. How to find and not lose peace of mind

Each of us has days when, it seems, everything is good and nothing portends trouble, and then suddenly - once! - and everything becomes bad and gloomy. Outwardly, everything is the same, but inside a volcano begins to rage, and you realize that you are at the very bottom of your soul.

What was the reason for this? Someone's remark? Smell? Sound? It is difficult to determine what exactly made you enter the peak, but only one thing - peace of mind is disturbed. Something quite insignificant sent you into a rage, anger, despair, or resentment. And so quickly that you yourself cannot understand how and why you got here.

How not to get into such situations? How to find peace of mind? Is it possible to make sure that the body and soul are always in harmony, and there are no breakdowns? Can. You can become a whole person, and then no small injections or even big blows of fate will throw you off balance.

First lesson

If you constantly experience cases when there is a "last straw" - and it can be escaped milk, and a discharged phone, or a broken heel, then there are those things that, in principle, are not even worth discussing, but they plunged you into into the abyss of pain, then look into your childhood. Most likely, everything started there. Maybe you were ignored or insulted. Maybe you were treated contemptuously or, on the contrary, they wanted too much. Childhood traumas are forgotten by the mind, but the subconscious mind remembers them and they, like shrapnel, are looking for a way out. And very often it happens in this way.

We all have these holes. For some, they are small, they can be easily bypassed, for others - just an American canyon left by their entourage - relatives, acquaintances, teachers, friends, neighbors.

Serious reasons very rarely throw us into such holes. You feel them and therefore prepare yourself. Or dodging. Only little things can be pushed into such a pit. Psychotherapists advise to get yourself a Personal Salvation card to deal with such pits. What it means: you draw up a registration card for yourself, in which you indicate all the evidence that you are an independent, adult, self-sufficient person. Write in it your age, education, all your regalia, including school certificates of appreciation, academic degrees, that you know how to drive a car, have children, vote and so on - what a full-fledged adult has the right to do. When you find yourself on the edge of the mental hole, take out this card and read. Strengthen yourself in an adult state, realize that childhood has already passed. This will give you some support.

On the back write the addresses and phone numbers of those people who are ready to lend you a helping hand at any moment. This is your Personal Rescue Service. List only those who truly love you for who you are. Those who are not afraid of your inner life and darkness and will do their best to pull you out into the light.

Lesson two

Never compare your life with how other people live! You even have no idea how they live, and draw conclusions only on the basis of external factors that they show you. You are trying to compare the incomparable - what you have on the inside with what they have on the outside. Believe me, it only seems to you that life is easier and easier for others.

Do not wish someone else's life, live yours. It will be calmer this way.

You came into this world like this, not differently. And the Universe wants you to remain yourself, and not try to live someone else's life. Yes, life kicks us like a soccer ball at the FIFA World Cup, try to find your charm in this - enjoy the sharp turns, descents and shaking. Enjoy this journey. This is just your journey - your life.

Lesson three

Our life is very short. And it only depends on you whether to deal with it or deal with death. If you are in a state of mental scatter all the time and at the same time do nothing to get rid of this oppressive feeling, you are not living, you are dealing with your death.

Life very often leads us to the fork in the “Life - Death”, and it depends only on us which path to take.

If you find yourself in a pit, then get out of it as quickly as possible before it turns into a grave.

Lesson four

We live very little in the present. Most live in the past, a small percentage in the future, and those who enjoy the present moment can be counted on one hand. You can endure everything that life has in store for you if you don’t look into the future and constantly replay the past in your thoughts. An important rule of thumb when working on how to find peace of mind is to always remember that:

There is no such thing as a bad life. There are bad points.

And these moments need to be experienced and sent to the past. And never remember again.

This is how they get rid of deadly diseases. Those who have won the battle against cancer say, “I just lived through today and never looked at the calendar. My task was one - to live today. And I did it. "

This approach is applicable to any situation. Just live NOW. André Dubu put it very well:

“Despair arises from our imagination, which lies as if the future exists, and persistently“ predicts ”millions of moments, thousands of days. It devastates you, and you can no longer live in the present moment. "

Don't waste your time in fear of the future and don't feel sorry for the past. Live today.

Lesson five

This is perhaps the most fun lesson, which is not at all difficult to complete. We need to go back a little ... to childhood.

Inside, each of us remains a child. We try to look adults and do it successfully until someone or something clicks on our pet peeve and we instantly turn into a frightened, offended toddler.

Take away bad childhood memories - make yourself a second childhood that will be much happier than the first.

Think about what you wanted as a child, but you didn't get it. And give it to yourself now.

Did you want to have little pink booties? Go and buy. Have you dreamed of a construction vehicle? Go to the store immediately. You wanted, but were afraid to climb a tree? Who is stopping you from doing this right now?

Here are a few more ideas to help you find your peace of mind:

Go to the planetarium and make a wish for a shooting star;
Paint the wallpaper in the bedroom;
Watch cartoons all day;
Pick a bunch of dandelions;
Take a ride on a swing;
Walk in the rain without an umbrella;
Ride your bike through the puddles;
Have a picnic right on the living room floor;
Build a fortress with tables, stools, sheets and blankets;
Draw with chalk on the asphalt;
Fill glasses of water and try to play some melody on them;
Have a pillow fight;
Jump on the bed until you get tired and fall asleep.

What to do is your choice. This list can be supplemented and supplemented. Come up with your own, go back to childhood. Remember that it is never too late to make yourself a happy childhood that depends only on you.

You can talk about how to find peace of mind again and again. But even these five lessons, if you begin to put into practice, will add peace and inner harmony to you. Try it. Choose a fulfilling life, not gloomy pits, and you will find the much-awaited peace of mind. Happiness to you!

Hello dear blog readers! Peace of mind for many seems to be some kind of fabulous state, almost an eternal nirvana, which can only be achieved by special, chosen people.

But in fact, it is not static, permanent. It is impossible to find a sense of inner peace once and so forever. After all, life is movement.

The most common causes of mental loss

If at least one of the following reasons resonates with you, that is, coincides with your life history - first of all, look for ways to eliminate it. And only after that, move on to methods that help to find peace of mind.

Indeed, until you remove the root cause that interferes, the inner state is unlikely to change.

Guilt

Guilt prevents a person from inhaling or exhaling, calm, deep and relaxed. It interferes with sleep, causing insomnia. And internal conversation never seems to stop. Either he accuses of doing something, or, on the contrary, not done, then he seeks excuses.

And no matter what joyful things happen in life, the burden inside the chest does not leave. That is why they say "like a stone fell from the soul" if

Fear

Spiritual Practices

Workouts that you can use to pause, relax and notice yourself are very resourceful. Meditation and breathing techniques help restore peace of mind. And sometimes nirvana, which many dream of so much.

Exercising, you will strengthen not only your spirit, but also your health. And relieving excess stress is extremely necessary if you want to be full of energy and feel joy. Stress is present in the life of absolutely every person, but they do not “burn out” emotionally and only those who know how to recover can withstand it.

And if you don’t have time to attend group yoga classes, it’s quite possible to find at least 15 minutes to practice on your own. Detailed instructions on how to do this, you.

Charity

Helping other people brings satisfaction and joy. She fills and sometimes brings new meanings to life.

Doing good is not so difficult. Almost every person has things that are no longer needed. They can be stored for years on shelves, in drawers, cabinets. Filling space and waiting, suddenly a moment will come, their, so to speak, finest hour.

But by giving these things to those in need, you will do several important things. First, help low-income people. And secondly - free up space, give the opportunity for something new to enter your life.

Or, let's say, give the remaining lunch or dinner to street animals. Sometimes even a small portion of food can save someone's life.

It is only important to learn to distinguish who really needs help, and who simply uses you and manipulates. In the case of such, one should train in the ability to refuse.

Physical exercise

Even an ordinary walk in the park can bring happiness and peace. In addition to saturating your body with oxygen, with the help of exercise, you will also provoke it to produce hormones of joy.

And what could be better than feeling a pleasant languor, going to bed after a good busy day?

Places of power

Look for your places of power, where you can be alone and filled with energy. Relax, think about problems, make a decision.

It is important that this place is accessible and that you can visit it if necessary. And then, living far from the sea, waiting for the summer to finally relax is not an option.

For some, it may turn out to be a certain bench or a tree in the park, while an exhibition or play in a theater helps someone to come to their senses. Talking to someone who understands you and does not judge you, does not discount or interrupt when you need to speak out.

Listen to your feelings and remember where you usually feel calm and a desire to reflect.

Posture

Sedentary work damages posture, and drooping shoulders and head cause feelings of helplessness, fatigue and irritation throughout the world. Therefore, if you are wondering how to restore your emotional state, first of all, straighten up.

It has been scientifically proven that those individuals who monitor their posture are less likely to experience anxiety and have normal self-esteem. They perceive life's adversities as a need to act and make decisions, and not just panic.

So right now, straighten your shoulders, lift your head, even out your breathing and feel how your mood is getting better and better.

Completion

And that's all for today, dear readers! Laugh more often, because humor helps you stand up in times of life's adversity and relieve unnecessary stress. Learn to forgive and thank, to enjoy every day, if only because it has come for you today.

And most importantly, stop worrying about trivial situations. Tell yourself “stop” every time you’re ready to panic. “Turn on” rationality at such moments, believe me, it will save a lot of nerve cells.

I wish you happiness and, of course, peace of mind!

The material was prepared by a psychologist, gestalt therapist, Zhuravina Alina

To answer the question of how to find peace of mind, you first need to understand why we are losing it. The simplest thing that comes to mind is our feelings: love, hate, envy, fear, despair because of unfulfilled hopes, rejection of something, guilt, shame. There are so many things that can throw us out of peace of mind ... But in addition to internal vibrations, external stimuli also affect us: we did not sleep enough, did not dress for the weather, ate something wrong, slipped on the way to work, received a reprimand from bosses - and now the world begins to be painted in dark tones, and a real storm rises in the soul, preventing us from rationally thinking, feeling, existing.

Do you want to be in harmony with yourself? Live in peace with your body: try to get enough sleep, spoil yourself with your favorite foods from time to time, do not wear something that squeezes or rubs, do not torture yourself and you will take a huge step towards finding peace of mind.

Remember how happy we were as children? The golden time, when the grass was taller than us, and the clouds seemed like cotton candy, when our parents did not criticize our way of life, but carried it on their hands. We were loved, pitied, we were the concentration of the universe. Try to return yourself to this blissful time, and you will see how your soul will become light and calm. You can feel like a child both in playing with other children and in playing with yourself. For example, what prevents you from rushing to work during an illness in order to curry favor with your superiors, but picking up your favorite book, putting a pillow under your head and demanding breakfast, lunch and dinner from your family, and that's all - in bed?

The house is not called a fortress for nothing. It allows you to hide from external troubles, in it you can take a break from - annoying situations, strangers, work problems. Make your home cozy and it will energize you with positive energy every night.

Problems in the family and at work are one of the most common causes of loss of mental balance. Trouble on two fronts at once can completely bring a person to depression. To avoid this, try to solve problems as they arise. Don't build up irritation to the point where it hits you all the way. Do you think that your bosses do not appreciate you as a specialist? Try to prove your professional value - not only in words, but also in deeds. They don't want to notice you anyway? Resign yourself, wait for an opportune moment that will allow you to prove your professional suitability, or look for a new job.

Unfortunately, in life there are often situations that cannot be immediately corrected. Therefore, you need to learn: on the one hand - patience, on the other - the ability to radically change your life. Hope for the best, chance, fate, God is also a good way to come to terms with what cannot be changed or cannot be changed now.

The time constant of a particular problem is important for understanding how to work with it. If you do not know how to cook - this is one thing, you can always learn it, but if you have no one to cook for - then here ... you have to take yourself seriously. Unrequited love, like the death of a loved one, can knock the soil out from under anyone's feet.

The feelings of other people, like their lives, are not subject to us. You need to understand this, come to terms with such a structure of the world and not torture yourself in vain. Yes, it’s terribly difficult when loved ones leave, but it’s unbearably bitter to know that they don’t love you, but ... Each person has something more valuable than those around him: this is himself.

Self-love can work miracles. Healthy egoism, interest in your own I and the ability to appreciate what you have - these are the foundations on which you can form a feeling of peace of mind and peace. See how simple it works:

Threw a loved one? Not scary - now we can live for our own pleasure.
A colleague intrigues us? Wonderful! There will be plenty to do at work, besides the boring projects!
Did your cousin buy a new foreign car? There is a reason to celebrate this case and think about how to make money on ... two foreign cars!
Having trouble losing weight? Not a problem! There should be a lot of a good person!

The more we have ourselves, the more peaceful our life is. It has been scientifically proven that people who depend on their own opinion are much less upset about trifles than those who look around and wait for the assessment of others. Peace of mind is an inner state of happiness that you give yourself.

Remember a simple thing: as soon as something unbalances you, take action. If it is possible to immediately eliminate the irritant - eliminate, no - postpone the solution of the problem for a while and, perhaps, it will resolve by itself. Faced something out of the ordinary? Unleash your emotions. Don't hold tears, anger, despair. Feeling like you can't handle it alone? Go to your friends, family. Just go outside, sit on a bench in the park and talk to a complete stranger. The feeling of novelty, an act that you do for the first time in your life, will help you open yourself from an unexpected side, one in which the problems that have fallen may turn out to be completely insignificant.

You can try to remove mental heaviness ... with spiritual joys. Remember what you like best and do it as soon as possible. Dizzying shopping, going to the cinema for the long-awaited premiere, going fishing with friends, playing your favorite computer game - any little things can be a starting point for finding peace of mind.

It seems that there is no question older than the one we will try to ask in this article. How can an ordinary person find peace in worldly life?

Provided that modern people are creatures dependent on many factors that unbalance them.

Sometimes we don't have enough time to prepare ourselves a normal meal, let alone come to a sense of ourselves.

But do not despair, because the path to tranquility and universal wisdom is available to everyone and is hidden within ourselves.

What is peace of mind and peace?

For most people, the concept of peace of mind is just a utopia, an unattainable goal, a fairy tale that is told to children at night.

It seems to us that the achievement of happiness in this life is possible only through the acquisition of inner harmony, but since this goal cannot be achieved, we find ourselves imprisoned in a vicious circle.

Emotional depression caused by such reasoning will inevitably lead to physical health problems.

Depression is the cause of many diseases - this phenomenon in medicine is called the psychosomatic effect.

Indeed, nervousness is often the cause of the development of such physical ailments as ulcers, heart failure, vascular dystonia, etc.

Tip: do not belittle the importance of peace of mind in your life. If illness does not scare you, think about long-term inner experiences that will not leave you until the very end.

In fact, everyone can find peace in this world.

Moreover, the state of mental equilibrium is the normal state of a person, invested in him at the genetic level.

L Yudi are intelligent and balanced beings who have everything they need to arrange their life on this planet in their own image and likeness.

So why is the achievement of such a seemingly simple goal as internal balance considered a utopia in modern realities?

What factors rob us of our peace of mind?

Perhaps, all mental problems humanity owes to progress and its consequences.

The modern world is not complete without many technological solutions, but the payment for them is not so small.

We, as creatures that have existed in harmony with nature for centuries, are adversely affected by the following external factors:

Industrialization
Poor environmental situation and subsequent climate changes
Lack of organic food and water
Overpopulation of the planet

Tip: Did you know that the person is under constant stress from the surrounding noise. It can be the noise of cars, lighting devices, trains, etc. All these sounds contradict the human structure, because they do not occur in nature.

Everyone dreams of finding inner harmony

In addition to man-made factors, a person is also influenced by the social norms of modern society.

Humanity has come up with many complex mechanisms of social regulation, but has not found a way to teach us to use them.

A separate article deserves the question of the problems of employment and self-determination in the modern world.

We need to earn money to feed ourselves and provide ourselves with housing, but the ways of earning money are often not suitable for our nature.

There are many examples of such internal conflicts - they are generated by the world that we ourselves have invented.

Indeed, even the smallest difficulties can darken our lives.

But it is important to remember that everyone has everything you need to protect yourself from difficulties.

Keys to Finding Peace of Mind and Peace

A person is not helpless in the face of all the listed detrimental factors.

Yes, they are unbalanced, but can they change our essence?

It is unlikely, because for the same reason, a person will never be able to get used to all the innovations that are bestowed on him by progress. It is a vicious circle and cannot be broken.

It is important to understand that we have no power to change the current course of things.

That is why it makes no sense to reproach yourself about what is happening around.

As the Dalai Lama once said: “If the problem can be solved, then there is no need to worry about it, if it cannot be solved, then it is useless to worry about it.».

All we do is worry about things beyond our control.

With the same success with which a person is worried about unworthy things, he ignores the really meaningful and valuable in his life.

We are so passionate about our work that we forget about raising our own children. We miss the moment when they are most receptive to what we have to say.

And we begin to worry about them only when we see the vices that have arisen due to our own inattention.

There are plenty of similar life examples proving the absurdity of the human character.

In order not to follow the path of most of society, it is worth thinking about the really important things.

And no other method besides meditation can help to cope with this task as best as possible.

Meditation as a way to find inner balance

It is not for nothing that sages consider meditation to be the best method for achieving inner harmony.

This technique is present in many cultures and religions of the Eastern world, but is not very popular when looking at the history of European civilization.

The development of modern technology unbalances us, but gives us the opportunity to touch century-old doctrines without leaving the room.

Nothing will work without regular work on your mind.

The ultimate goal of any meditation is to stop thoughts, as a result of which only silence remains inside the practitioner.

Your mind stops incessant work.

Believe me, not everyone is able to achieve this goal, because the brain is designed in such a way that certain arguments are always heard in it.

But do not despair, because in the case of meditation, the ancient rule is triggered - the final result is not so important as the path you take to it is important.

Therefore, even beginners can try meditation as a method of gaining peace of mind and peace.

Most often, meditation is practiced in a specific posture.

Advice: meditation should take place in absolute silence. The duration of the session is individual, but it is not less than 15 minutes.

Meditation is possible without asanas.

Consider the simplest version of this technique:

Sit in a chair.
Close your eyes and relax.
Avoid external factors.
Take a deep breath and exhale. Continue to breathe evenly and regularly.
Try to focus on your own breathing. Other points of concentration can be found if desired.
An idyll should be happening within you. Thought processes should slow down, giving way to peace of mind.

Speaking about other points of concentration of consciousness during meditation, we also mean any problem that has developed in life.

You can calmly reflect on a way out of a difficult situation, or analyze relationships with loved ones.

“Destroy images, thoughts, whims, fantasies and desires as they rise from the depths to the surface of consciousness. Turn the inquisitive mind inward and affirm it on the Highest. Then the meditation will be deep and intense. Don't open your eyes. Do not get out of the seat. Immerse yourself in the very depths of your heart. Now enjoy the silence. ”- Svomi Sivananda.

Avoid negative information. Remember that unnecessary emotional experiences about things that are beyond your control cannot change anything.
Think positively. In every event in your life, you can find positive and negative sides. Learn to pay attention to the highlights.
Don't lie. A lie for a person is like water for a stone - it destroys it slowly and gradually, depriving him of inner peace.
Try to stay calm in stressful situations. The Japanese samurai believed that a warrior must make important decisions in silence for seven breaths.
Face your fears and complexes. The root of any problem that occurs in our life lies in our own consciousness. Do not ignore what lies in its depths.

Natalia Erofeevskaya

Calm, only calm ... But how to stay calm if everything inside is bubbling, unspoken words, accumulated tension and threatens to spill over into the immediate environment? Familiar situation? But everyone wants to remain confident, calm and controlling their own behavior - this is strength, this is self-satisfaction, this is the health of the body and strong nerves.

What to do to relieve stress and not feel like a barrel of gunpowder, for which there are many sparks? Let's take a look at some of the common guidelines and techniques that will provide a foundation for creating a calm, inner atmosphere.

Attitude for measuredness and peace of mind

The first thing that comes to mind is relaxation, meditation and prayer for those who have faith in their souls. Relaxing regular practice helps to restore peace of mind and inner harmony in a short time. And here the main mistake occurs: a person who is satisfied with the result of the meditating techniques stops practicing, and everything returns to normal. The same nervousness and the same anxiety in a matter of days pulls the soul and body into heavy chains.

Each person chooses a relaxation method that suits him, performing a kind of ritual:

believers read prayers, turning over the rosary;
sports people run in winter on skis, and in summer along parks, sand or mountain paths;
a walk before going to bed or meeting the dawn, communicating with animals, growing crops, fishing or hunting;
handicrafts, playing musical instruments, creativity;
give the opportunity to feel, hear yourself, find a state of harmony in yourself and your place in the world around you.

The main rule: the method of relaxation is individual, and the habit of giving yourself a rest should be as daily as brushing your teeth or taking a walk with the dog - by the way, taking a walk with the dog is also an option.

What is the principle of calmness?

The balance of the soul, health and thoughts of a person is the basis of his tranquility. Emotions that are not on this list are capable of shaking any "cold" head. However, this does not mean at all that you need to be a cracker or a rusty nail in which not a shadow of a living is left - emotions of any sign, both positive and negative, decorate life, making it brighter, more interesting, more exciting. The question is, how expensive are emotions for a particular person: did you feel the situation and let go or does the fever continue for a day, two, a week? Thoughts in my head spin and spin, not allowing to think about anything else, insomnia and fatigue, growing psychosis - these are the signs.

Keeping balance is not easy, but possible. We offer several rules on how not to succumb to the provocations of the surrounding world and remain true to yourself, while maintaining an inner source of confidence:

Calmness is not synonymous with sleepiness! Sleepiness is apathy and reluctance to act, which over time threatens to develop into and detachment from life's problems that have nothing to do with the inner harmony of a person.
In a state of nervousness concentrate on the ability to see the situation or life picture as a whole, without detailing - this will allow you not to be sprayed and not cycle on unpleasant little things that pull the balance onto yourself.

Don't expect peace of mind from the outside: the world around us is dynamic and does not stand still for a single second - it’s ridiculous to expect some kind of stability from it. Life presents various surprises: it's good if they turn out to be exciting, but pleasant, and if the surprise is not so good? They breathed in, breathed out and said to ourselves: "I can handle it!" Of course you can! If only simply because circumstances sometimes do not provide other options.
A rule people know but don't use: look for pluses in everything... Got fired? - more attention to the family and a chance to find yourself in a different direction. ? - no snoring, no scandals, order in the house, silence and exceptional enjoyment of peace. Do children learn poorly? - Einstein, who received the Nobel Prize, was kicked out of school altogether. Over time, this habit will strengthen and work automatically: before you have time to think, the positive aspects of what is happening are already right there!
People are worried: your own, loved ones, friends, colleagues ... We must learn to take it for granted: life is such that no one will remain in it forever - everyone is mortal, and everyone’s turn will come up in due time. Of course, I would like to do it later, but it’s written to someone like a family - it doesn’t hurt to be a little fatalist with faith in fate.
You should not rush events and people around us: exhaustion with work and speed of life is the main problem of our century. An exclusive belief in such a necessary resistance to everyone and everything can and is impressive - "You are so strong (strong), no circumstances will break you!", But the harm from this is much more than good.

Sometimes you need to let go of the circumstances: perhaps there will be some other factor or unexpected turn that will radically change the perception of the situation!

A place of tranquility

This is not about a cemetery - although yes, let's be honest: the most peaceful place on the planet. But while your heart is beating hot in your chest, it is worth taking care of a corner of personal privacy. A cherished place, in which there are no phone calls, a TV with frightening news, sucking the Internet into its bottomless womb - half an hour on the balcony or on a park bench will help put thoughts and feelings in order, curb overwhelmed emotions.

You should not ignore your favorite pastime: no matter what happens in this turbulent world, half an hour or an hour can be allocated for a hobby a day. Knitting, embroidery, modeling, modeling, drawing - whatever, if only at these moments you were comfortable, calm and disconnected your brains from existing problems. The place of study is also important in this case: if the children urgently need help with their homework, the cat needs canned food from the refrigerator, a friend remembered that today you have not dissuaded the allotted two hours on the phone, and your husband slaps lids on empty pans - an idea to spend half an hour in my pleasure failed miserably. Solution? To feed all the hungry, to carry out strict instructions with relatives, and to turn off the phones - any person has the right to a few personal minutes of doing what he loves.

Huge shopping malls are not a place to relax. Bright light, oppressive concrete, glass and crowds of people - there can be no question of any comfort and solitude. Have you often noticed fatigue after hypermarkets and boutiques? - here it is, a signal from the body about a serious loss of vitality. A forest, a river, swimming in a pool, in a nearby park - the healing effect of nature will give a feeling of an influx of strength, energy, allowing both soul and body to fully relax.

Learn to gradually relax and manage your peace of mind, while remembering: do not struggle with life - you need to live and enjoy life!

January 22, 2014, 18:15