The right decisions at the right time. How to make a decision
Throughout his conscious life, each person makes many decisions. Every day he is faced with a choice of how to act correctly in any situation, what to buy in a store, where to go to study or work, what to wear for a responsible or not very event, how to distribute his finances. Often, decision-making is accompanied by stress, which is known to negatively affect our psyche. How to make a decision to minimize negative consequences?
"Debriefing" on the simplest example
The longer we delay, not knowing how to make the right decision, the more negative emotions we experience, the faster we lose the ability to correctly and quickly choose the right option.
It is good, of course, to think about the past and analyze your already committed actions. But when, say, a week we occupy our thoughts with only one issue that is connected with making a decision, this is no longer good, but bad. The longer we think, the more options pop up in our head. If each of these options is not bad, we stop perceiving the task adequately, because we are in limbo, which does not allow us to look at things soberly. There is no time for the right decision.
Psychologists have developed a number of rules that will make it easier to make a decision, regardless of the essence of the issue. Whether you are thinking about what to wear to a party or deciding whether to continue dating a man or break up with him - in any case, take these rules into account.
back to contents to contentsDon't rely on yourself
When making a difficult decision, discuss it with loved ones. Chances are good that you will receive good advice from them. This is the first thing. Secondly, a problem that has been voiced several times ceases to be a problem, but takes on a clear outline of a situation, from which there are at least two ways out. But we want to warn you: do not go beyond the boundaries and do not ask for advice from everyone around you. Trust only the closest people. After all, everyone can advise, but there will be no sense from this - the abundance of advice, especially from strangers who are unfamiliar with your situation, will simply confuse you.
Don't decide from a moment of emotional stress
Postpone making any decision until those times when you are no longer overwhelmed with emotions and feelings. They do not influence the correctness of the decision in the best way. If you take it at a time of emotional stress, the consequences may be undesirable. Wait until everything inside you boil over, take a sober look at the situation and try to make the right decision.
to the table of contentsThink about it tomorrow
Remember how the unforgettable Scarlett O'Hara from the novel "Gone with the Wind" spoke? That's right: "I'll think about it tomorrow." And the people say that the morning is wiser than the evening. Psychologists are sure: our subconscious mind knows the answers to all questions. During the day, the brain is overloaded with information, it cannot decipher the signals sent by the subconscious. Therefore, do not make an important decision in the afternoon or evening. It is better to ask yourself a question that worries you before going to bed, it is quite possible that in the morning you will already know what to do. In such a case, it is recommended to put a sheet of paper and a pen or voice recorder on the bedside table near the bed. The solution to the problem may come to you even when you are half asleep, and it will need to be fixed so as not to forget.
No matter how much sensible advice they give you, remember that you must make the decision yourself. After all, this is your life, you should not trust even very close people to manage it. After all, each person, evaluating the situation, proceeds from his own considerations. What works for this person may not work for you. Consider outside opinions, but without fanaticism.
to the table of contentsListen to your heart and trust your intuition
Remember the anecdote when an inner voice said to an inveterate gambler who put his entire fortune on the line: "God, how wrong I was!" The inner voice is often mistaken, so you need to trust either your body or your intuition (everyone has different ways). One person, signing an important contract, felt an unpleasant tingling sensation in his chest. The contract, as it turned out later, was unprofitable. Another felt a headache, the third felt a slight dizziness. All these are signals that the body sends us, and this is his request to postpone the decision. In this case, we call intuition not an inner voice that can be wrong, but hints from the outside world - peculiar signs. Phrases dropped by someone in our presence, posters, objects, signs, etc. Often the world around us contributes to the fact that our thoughts are concentrated in the right direction. The main thing is to notice the signs sent by fate.
Do not repeat the passed steps
Many people, making decisions, are guided by analogies: something like this, they say, has already happened before, it was necessary to do this and that, and this is exactly what we will do now. Of course, experience is good, and you also need to connect it when making an important decision. But do not forget that life is not a swamp, but a river, which, as you know, cannot be entered twice. Try to find a new way to solve the problem.
to the table of contentsConsider and plan for the future
There are decisions that have an impact on our future. And there are those who can radically change our life path. These are very important decisions that you need to consider all possible options. So, changing your place of residence may make you lonely, and leaving your job will deprive you of career opportunities.
to the table of contentsPositive thoughts will help
Popular psychology books related to positive thinking are of great interest to readers. If you have heard about the methods of N. Pravdina, A. Sviyash, V. Levi, N. Kozlov, then you know that any of our desires materialize and come true. Dreams become reality. Therefore, when making a decision, it is better to present a positive picture of fulfilled desires. This helps not only to make the right decision, but also to stay on the right track. Is it difficult to end a relationship with a married man? Do not think about loneliness, but imagine yourself free and dream of meeting with great love. Can't eat after six? Imagine how your figure becomes perfect. Afraid of quitting a low-paying and unloved job? Save up money as a financial cushion and look for something new to do. Imagine with what joy you will be engaged in a business that you like.
A person, being at a crossroads when making an important decision, is guided by two extremes - good and bad. What happens after we do or do not do something important? Is the end of the world sure, or will peace and harmony reign? Why do we run to extremes? Is there really no middle ground?
From an early age, each person regularly faces a choice:
Should I wear pants today or a skirt?
with a handsome man or spend an evening with a smart and interesting fan?
Go to college by vocation or obey your parents in choosing a profession?
Get an interesting or profitable job?
You can continue indefinitely! How difficult it is to make the right decision when the choice concerns such serious things as choosing a profession or a job.
There are people in the world who do not doubt the correctness of the decision. One can only envy them.
Fatalists are indifferent.
This category of people unwittingly. They do not torment themselves with a choice, they go with the flow in the direction where the "finger of fate" points. It's easier for them to reach out, get out of the closet what they grabbed for, and put it on without hesitation. Go on a date with whoever calls first. Go to college to study the one that. Whichever job comes up first, stay on that one until the end of your life. And, after all, in their own way they are absolutely right! Why torment yourself with unnecessary doubts if life itself will put everything in its place?
Intuition.
There is another category of people who never doubt the correctness of their choice. These are individuals with developed. Or those who think they have this feeling. They never doubt the correctness of the decision. After all, the confidence that intuition will not fail, will not leave them.
But such people are in the minority, the rest suffer, torment and doubt.
When you doubt the correctness of the decision made, the "Descartes square" will help
What does a person rely on when he does not know how to act correctly in a given situation?
It is possible to calculate the development of events to the smallest detail only if you use the theory of probability. And then, the value will be very approximate. However, few of us know how to do this. Therefore, trusting the will of chance, you can achieve better results than those when a person intends to "swim against the tide" only to prove that the decision was correct.
To learn how to correctly assess the current problem and take the decisive step, use the "Descartes square".
There are many ways that can show the pros and cons of a decision. For example, you can split a piece of paper in two. In the first column, write down the benefits that you will derive as a result of your decision. In the second, there are cons.
The most effective method is the "Descartes square". Now the sheet of paper is divided into four parts, each of which contains a question that requires a detailed answer:
The positive aspects of fulfilling the desired. (What awaits if you complete the intended);
The positive aspects of not fulfilling the desired. (What awaits if you do not complete the intended);
Negative sides of the fulfillment of desires. (What can you avoid if you get what you want);
Negative sides of not fulfilling the desired. (What can be avoided if you do not get what you want).
By answering the questions in each square, you will quickly come to the correct solution. Here you need to evaluate and weigh all the pros and cons that may arise as a result of your decision, and take the only correct one.
What influences the search for the right solution
What is the correct decision? This is the distance between the starting point (task) and the point at which a person will receive satisfaction of his needs and ideas (solution). This process involves all components of a person's personality: mind, will, character and motivation. All this, both helps and hinders the correct decision-making. Assess yourself, try to remember what exactly motivates you at the moment when you need to mobilize all efforts in order to concentrate on one task. Sweep away the unnecessary, and remove the unnecessary from yourself.
The confirmation.
In search of the right solution, a person weighs all the components of the expected success. Choose based on the facts, do not be guided by speculation and ghostly "what if." Ignore information that you consider contradictory, look for rational grain.
Sequence.
Every action you take to solve a problem must be consistent.
The vector of thinking about the problem should be directed to one point. Take the shortest route without being distracted by lyrical deviations from the topic.
Mobility.
This refers to a person's ability to deal with a changing situation. With the emergence of new facts that contradict your chosen decision, you should adequately assess the situation and take appropriate measures.
Concentration.
When making an important decision for you, it is advisable to abstract from other problems. The efforts of the brain must be directed to a specific task, on the implementation of which the peace of mind, material well-being, or the future as a whole depends.
Selectivity.
Pick really noteworthy facts. Mark off unnecessary information, do not consider important that which is not worth your attention and efforts.
Life experience.
When making serious decisions, you should not rely only on your own experience. Consult smart people, watch programs, look for advice on the Internet or books.
Don't put your ability first. The successes that you have achieved in the past are the sum of your contribution, the help of others and a happy coincidence. Draw conclusions from mistakes, try not to "step on the same rake" in the future.
Concentrate, choose the path you will take to make a decision, calm down and take action. In the matter of understanding and developing an action plan, there should be no unnecessary haste, fanaticism and overestimated forecasts about the result. These moments reduce the efficiency of the process and give the victory a bitter taste of dissatisfaction.
3 strategies will help you not doubt your decision
The method of the Canadian professor Henry Mintzberg will help you make the right decision. In his opinion, there are three steps to success:
Act.
This process means you don't have time to think. There is a category of decision-making that implies that there is simply no time to think. We must act immediately. Then the attitudes laid down by the instinct of self-preservation, personal experience and the mistakes of other people come into force. To properly assess such situations, learn to learn from everything that life presents to you. In a specific situation, it often saves.
The process of long deliberation of the situation is inherent in representatives of Western culture. It implies an algorithm of the following:
And the wording of the problem;
Systematization of the received data;
Direction correction;
Evaluation of the parameters affecting the result, and the choice of the necessary means for;
Search for alternative solutions and options for the development of events;
Assessment of possible outcomes of the development of events;
Decision and action.
Intuition.
People who make decisions on an intuitive level are guided by an inspiration, which they themselves describe as a kind of "insight" that came suddenly. It happens that a person is looking for an answer to a specific question for a long time, which haunts him. He falls asleep and wakes up with this thought. One fine day, he realizes that there is no problem at all, the solution is already in his head. A system of knowledge and life experience is hidden in the subconscious of every person. At a critical moment, all body processes are activated, which allows you to quickly navigate in the created environment.
There are four stages of intuitive decision-making:
Identifying the problem and collecting information about it. This process involves thinking, the emotional aspect, personal experience and the influence of the environment;
Concentration of all mental functions on understanding the problem in order to feel the depth and the possibility of its solution;
Insight (insight), which replaces reflections;
Re-checking the facts, comparative analysis of the results of the development of events and the final adjustment.
How to make a decision and not doubt anymore
So what is considered the most important factor for making the right decisions? Of course, a sufficient amount of time to think, systematize factors, find the right course of action and choose one solution from several possible ones. To learn how to make decisions you will never regret, use the following tips:
Time and place.
Don't act spontaneously in taking important steps. Schedule a time when you can be alone.
If you wake up the next morning feeling relieved that, take action! If not, then the decision is not correct, or not the only correct one.
Making a fateful decision,. You get the feeling that there is a wall in front of you, against which you have rested your forehead, and there is no further passage. Step away from the problem for a while. For example, go to a movie theater to dispel. Distract your brain from the stress that makes it work in a time-trouble mode. But, as soon as you feel that the feeling of heaviness in your soul has passed, return to the problem with renewed vigor.
It is important and necessary.
Consider the necessity of what you are currently doing. Is it really of such value to you that it is worth spending your efforts and nerves? If you are on the right path, then doubts about the need to solve this problem need to be dismissed. If not, then you must clearly decide for yourself what benefit motivates you.
Having made a preliminary decision, do not rush to act. Evaluate the options for the development of events again, compare them with previous experience, remember the mistakes of your acquaintances, only then proceed with the implementation of the planned plan.
The moment you realize that your decision is the only possible and correct one, you will feel relief. Now everything fell into place. It's easier for you, but you have to act strictly according to plan. Do not forget that the result you want to achieve depends on the accuracy in the sequence of actions.
24 February 2014If you are in doubt about the correct decision, seek advice from an expert in the field. A dock in a specific area will help you sort things out and explain why you should do one way or another. When you do not have the ability or desire to resort to outside help, you can collect information yourself about the subject of interest to you. The more facts you have, the more fully you can paint yourself a picture of what is happening.
Weigh the pros and cons well. Try to predict how events might develop with different outcomes. Assess the current situation, reflect calmly, objectively and soberly. Never make a decision under the influence of strong emotions, both negative and positive. Better to wait, calm down, and if your position does not change over time, act. Perhaps then your decision will become the opposite of the first, then you will save yourself from mistakes.
Will of chance
If all the possible outcomes seem to be about the same to you, you can use the old ways. Flip a coin or draw lots. Such methods are good not because they tell you what to do, but because having received a certain result, you can suddenly understand what outcome you hoped for in your soul. So do it - in accordance with your own instinct.
In general, some people tend to underestimate the benefits that can be obtained by listening to their intuition. Do not be like them. Trust your own feelings and sensations more. It is your subconscious mind that gives you a signal, and in fact it accumulates all the information, even the one that you thought was lost, and all your life experience.
It happens that you cannot decide on some action because you do not trust a certain person. Think about what you have for this reason. If you know this individual rather poorly, it is better to give up doing business with him, since your instinct stops you from doing so.
Do not be afraid
It may be difficult for you to make a decision because you are not ready to take responsibility for it. If this is truly your responsibility, then you should muster the courage to take matters into your own hands. And when they try to force you to make a choice for someone, you don't need to be a puppet in the wrong hands.
Maybe you are afraid of the changes that can be expected immediately after you make a certain decision. In this case, you should calm down and realize that changes in almost 100 percent of cases lead to improvements, and stop hesitating.
A person is constantly faced with the need to make this or that choice. This situation accompanies him literally at every step: in the store, when it is necessary to decide what and in what quantity to buy, at work, in family life. It's good if we are talking about some insignificant problem that will not entail serious consequences in the event of an error. Well, what if the question is really important? If the cost of a wrong decision can be high? Some people in such a situation may get confused, delay making a decision. How to act correctly?
Instructions
First of all, convince yourself that the problem will not disappear from the fact that you are dodging a solution under all sorts of pretexts, wasting time. The decision will still have to be made, so it's better to do it sooner rather than later.
Of course, "earlier" does not mean "hastily". Think it over carefully. If there are several options for solving a particular issue, problem, carefully consider them, not missing a single one. Try to objectively analyze both the pros and cons of each option, and choose the most optimal one.
If the question is really difficult, especially if you yourself feel and acknowledge that you do not have enough knowledge or information to make a decision, seek advice from specialists whose opinion you can trust. And in general, whenever possible in such situations, you should consult with knowledgeable people. As popular wisdom says, "one head is good, and two is better."
Every day we have to make dozens of decisions - do this or that, agree or refuse.
And almost every time this is accompanied by doubts, worries and postponement of decision-making.
So how make the right decision and learn to make the right choice?
Here are 10 ways.
1 - Just make the decision you like.
According to statistics, 7 decisions out of 10 heads of large companies turn out to be wrong. 40% of companies that 20 years ago were included in the list of the 500 best companies in the world no longer exist.
Even the most successful and experienced people make mistakes very often.
So relax, make a decision, and take action.
You need to understand that while you are thinking, you are standing still and wasting time.
You are not a sapper for whom any mistake is fatal.
Even if you're wrong, you have a second, a third, and as many attempts as you like. Plus, every time you do something, you gain knowledge, experience and better understand how to make the right choice.
2 - Determine the price of your decision.
What happens if you do this or that and the choice is wrong? Write down the possible consequences and make a decision based on this. But you should be aware that a decision with minimal consequences often produces weak results.
And therefore...
3 - Determine the best result -which solution will move you as far forward as possible? In life, those who strive for more win. And those who are afraid to take risks are content with ordinary life. Think it might be worth the risk sometimes. Yes, you can lose more. But you can get more. And even if you fail, you can always come back to a different solution. So go for it. Success loves the brave.
4 - Ask your subconscious mind -most people try to make decisions based on logic. But its capabilities are limited by the amount of information that is in the mind.
Use your subconscious. In the evening, think about your problem and solutions. And before going to bed, ask yourself - Which solution to choose?
And in the morning you will wake up with a clear understanding of what is worth doing.
Our subconscious contains all our experience. And we get access to it only in a dream. Plus, the subconscious mind can connect to a single information field of the universe. Remember, Mendeleev opened his table in a dream.
So ask your subconscious a question and go to bed. You will learn more about this technique from this video.
5 - do something - to make the right decision you need to have certain information. But where to get it? Books, videos, articles are just theory. The information you need will be given only by practical experience, which can only be obtained by doing something.
If you are in doubt or choose from several options - just do something in the direction of each option. And you will immediately understand which solution is best for you.
6 - Ask a more successful person -Such a person can help you in just 5 minutes. He knows and can do more than you. Look for successful people in your community. Sign up for the training. Ask your question on the thematic forum or group. The only thing is not to ask everyone. Listen only to those who have really solved problems similar to yours and have real life experience of overcoming them. But if there is no such person, then
7 - Imagine yourself as a super hero- Put yourself in the shoes of a person who is a symbol of confidence and success for you. And think about which solution he would choose.
Often, internal fears and doubts interfere with making a decision. When you imagine yourself as a super hero, it all disappears and the decision becomes much easier.
8 - Expand the number of options -People often choose from 2-3 options. But there are many more options. Gather information, ask friends, think about other solutions. Such work will allow you to better understand the situation, expand your consciousness and allow you to choose the most balanced decision.
9 - Let the brain sort everything out on the shelves -modern man decides a lot on the run, on emotions, in the mode of lack of time.
But if you take a day of rest, calm down, stop thinking a lot, then a lot becomes clear and the decision is chosen by itself.
There is a good expression morning is wiser than evening. So just disconnect from the problem, do something enjoyable, and make a decision with a fresh mind.
10 - Write down all the pros and cons and compare
Choose 2-3 options and write each one on a separate sheet. And make a list of pros and cons. This clarifies a lot and you immediately understand which solution is more beneficial for you.
That's all.
But remember - a decision is not a decision until you act on it.
And to make it easier for you to act, here are 50 step-by-step instructions
The life of each of us is an endless stream of decisions. You constantly have to choose: what to buy, how to spend the evening, which profession to choose, which deal to accept, which to reject, etc.
Fortunately, in most cases, making the right decision is pretty easy. Our subconscious mind does not have to spend a lot of time to choose one of the options, since it is definitely better. But there are situations when it is not clear which of the selected options will bring more benefit and less harm.
Remember the legendary film "The Matrix", when Morphius asked Neo to choose one of the pills. It may seem from the outside that choosing freedom and life in reality was easier and more correct than forgetting everything and continuing to exist in a fairy tale. In fact, most people choose the other side in their lives.
But we digress a little from the topic. So, there are situations when making the right decision is not easy. Each of the possible options has a lot of pluses and even more minuses that we would not want to get. In addition, each of the options will have a lot of consequences that we could not have imagined.
2 approaches to decision making
There are two ways that can help us choose. We have used each of them in our life, just, someone more often chooses one, someone more often uses the second.
1. When to include logic?
Thinking carefully about the options and their consequences is common in making logical decisions. Using this approach, we can weigh the pros and cons, analyze the possible benefits and losses of each of the possible options.
The logical approach is best used in situations where there is a lot of input and most of the consequences are easy to predict. As a rule, this approach is best applied in business and in any other business areas of life, in cases where the possible risks are very high.
2. When to use intuition?
We often find ourselves in a situation where it is almost impossible to imagine further developments. There is no past experience appropriate to such situations, and there is no way to extract and analyze information from other sources. And you need to make a decision quickly, since "delay is like death."
In this case, there is no choice but to listen to your intuition and not make a quick and unambiguous choice. All the same, we will not be able to make any accurate predictions.
The need to make such decisions almost always arises in personal life and in everything that is associated with human feelings and emotions.
Regardless of which approach you tend to take, I recommend that you stick to the following five principles to help you make the right decision:
Principle 1. Never rely on "chance". Always make the decision yourself.
Don't wait until everything is settled by itself or someone else will do it for you. Indecision is also a decision, but, in this case, you no longer control the situation, and accordingly you have no power over your life. People often postpone a decision until there are no more equal options worthy of attention, and this is no longer a decision.
Making a conscious decision, albeit an unpleasant one, prepares you to accept its consequences and, most likely, it will be easier for you to cope with its negative consequences. Or maybe you can even find a way to get rid of some of the problems associated with this.
Principle2. Make decisions quickly.
Postponing the decision until later, as a rule, we raise our rate in this game. As a rule, intuition tells us the best ways, but intuition works only for a short time, then all your past experience, fears, doubts and other nonsense that the brain is loaded with comes into play. All this only clutters our consciousness and pushes us to make mistakes.
The sooner you can make your choice, the more time you will have to prepare for its negative consequences. There will be time to “spread the straw”, as a result, you can get more benefit from the path you have chosen.
Principle3. Once you've made your decision, take action immediately and don't stop.
Nothing delays the achievement of goals like procrastination. Having postponed the implementation of your decisions once, it will not be difficult for you to postpone in the future, and this is fraught with the fact that you will never achieve the goals for which you made the decision. Often, what we thought about and decided to do is forgotten after a few days. The long box has not yet been canceled - it is in it that all our greatest achievements are stored.
Principle4. Don't change your mind halfway to the result.
Achieving any result takes time and effort. It makes no sense to expect the result to come easily and quickly. And if you constantly change your decisions, then all this will be similar to Brownian motion (chaotic movement of the molecules of a substance, in which the substance itself does not move anywhere) and no result will definitely come.
Drive it into your head - you can get the result only after reaching the end.
If you have made the decision to become rich, then act to the end. If you decide after a week that it is difficult and better to get healthy. Stop saving money and start eating healthy. After another week, you will stop eating vegetables. want a barbecue, and decide to be beautiful by playing sports. Then you can continue on your own.
Principle5. The most important. Never regret your decision.
Often people think they made the wrong decision. It was necessary to act differently. The trick is that you can never know if you did the right thing, because impossible to verify. Always consider your choice to be the only correct one.
For example, you bought a car, and after a week its engine broke. The first thought - it was necessary to buy another, but, on the other, at the most inopportune moment, the brakes could fail. What would be better?
In fact, making the right decision is not difficult, it is much more difficult to take responsibility for its consequences! Follow these guidelines, they will help you and get outstanding results.
Uspekhov, Dmitry Zhilin
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