Death anniversary when to commemorate. Days of special commemoration of the deceased

Wake is a ritual performed to honor the deceased... The basis of the commemoration is a joint meal, arranged by loved ones in the house of a deceased person, or in the dining room.

The commemoration is carried out:

on the day of death;
three days after death - the day of the funeral, when the soul goes to another world;
on the ninth day;
on the fortieth day;
a memorial meal is arranged six months after his death, and after that for all further anniversaries.

As usual, relatives or close people of the deceased come to the commemoration. It is important to remember that you cannot drive away those who have come to honor the memory of the deceased. As a rule, commemorations are organized not for guests and not for the sake of a feast, but in order to remember the deceased, to pray for his repose. It is especially important to read the prayer for the deceased before the memorial meal. The priests advise to read the seventeenth Kathisma from the Psalter and the prayer "Our Father" before starting to eat.

Shifting the date of commemoration

It happens that the memorial day falls on a church holiday, or on weekdays, when there is no opportunity to leave work, in connection with the preparation of everything necessary for the memorial meal. As a result, the question arises: is it possible to postpone the date of commemoration?

The priests believe that the meal can be arranged earlier or later than the exact date of death. If there are valid reasons that prevent you from holding a memorial dinner, you should keep the landmark, the first duty, on them. However, if there are no compelling reasons to postpone the memorial meal to another day, it is better not to do this, because in the afterlife there are rules. On this day, it is better to focus on good deeds, for example, distributing memorial treats to people in need.

You should not arrange a funeral service during Easter and Holy Week of Great Lent. During these weeks everything rushes to the sacrifice of Jesus Christ, as well as to the news of his return to life. Therefore, if the date allotted for the memorial dinner coincides with these periods, it is best to move the memorial meal to the day of Radonitsa - the day when the dead are commemorated.

If the day of remembrance falls on the eve of the Christmas holidays, it would be more correct if the commemoration is postponed to January 8. Such an event is taken for a good omen, because the commemoration is dedicated to the event of birth in an endless life in another world.

Also, priests recommend remembering that for the departed, in the first turn, you should pray. Therefore, the day before the memorial meal, it is recommended to order the Liturgy for the burial of the Soul of the deceased and the Panikhida for the memorial day. And the memorial meal can be postponed for one of the first days off of the subsequent anniversaries of death. However, it is not advisable to postpone the commemoration held on the fortieth day after repose to an early date.

Memorial Day

In each confession, a certain date is assigned for the memorial day, when relatives or simply close people commemorate the deceased. If, due to urgent circumstances, it was not possible to honor the memory of close deceased people on the day of their death, this should be done on the memorial day.

In the Orthodox faith, the memorial day is set aside Tuesday of the second week after Easter. However, this is not the only day when relatives can be remembered. In addition to Radonitsa, five more days are allocated for the memory of the deceased;
In the Catholic faith, the memorial day falls on November 2. The commemoration on the third, seventh and thirtieth days may not suit you;
In the religion of Islam, the main task is to remember the deceased with prayer, to do good deeds on his behalf: to help orphans, poor people. In this religion, it does not matter at all on what day after the repose of the soul the memorial meal will be arranged. It is important that no one should know on whose behalf these acts are being performed;
In Buddhism, the day of obedience - the holiday of Ulambana - falls on the first half of the seventh month according to the lunar calendar.

Everyone knows that people who have gone to another world should be remembered, but not often people understand for what purpose this should be done. Do not forget that there is a connection between the living and the dead. Therefore, after the death of a person, his loved ones are restless, in their souls there is anxiety and sadness, they often dream of the dead, who ask for food, or provide them with some help.

It is generally accepted that after such dreams, a person should pray, visit the temple, do some good deed (help the poor, orphans). All this beneficence has a good effect on the souls of the dead. If it is not possible to arrange a memorial service on the set day, do not be upset. You can leave a note to the clergyman, and he himself will conduct it.

The spiritual state of a person also influences the state of the deceased in the afterlife, in another world in order to help them. To do this, you should begin to change, first of all, yourself and the society around you. For a start, it would be nice to get rid of bad habits, forgive all your offenders, not hide any grudge against them, start praying, visit temples, read the Bible, help others and orphans.

During the commemoration, one should remember the purpose, a kind of ritual. Saying a common prayer, it is better to ask the Lord God to endow the deceased with the Kingdom of Heaven and rest his Soul.

After physical death, a person remains in the memory of relatives and close people. Therefore, on the day of his death, they gather to remember him together. Moreover, there are certain rules that have become traditions. This is the pronunciation of heartfelt words, reading poetry and prayers. This will be discussed in the article.

Some traditions of remembrance

Remembrance (or commemoration) is a series of ritual actions that help maintain the memory of the dead. Basically, relatives are involved in organizing memorial days. If there are no such people left, then friends or other close people.
Usually memorial traditions are based on certain beliefs - paganism, Islam, Hinduism. Therefore, they are different for different peoples. For Russians, the rules of remembrance are closely related to the Christian faith. Sometimes rituals taken from different religions and local customs are mixed. Often on this basis, certain rituals are created.
In the Russian Christian tradition, there are a number of basic rules, which are rarely deviated from. For example, funeral and other prayers are read in the church only if the deceased was baptized according to the Orthodox rite. And also in churches they do not pray for those who independently took their own lives, preached heretical beliefs.

Memorial dates

Orthodox Christians arrange a commemoration immediately after the funeral.
In the near future after the death, the dead are commemorated three times: the first time - on the third day after death; the second time - for the ninth; the third time - at the fortieth.
Subsequently, a commemoration is held every year on the day of death.

Commemoration after the funeral and for the year of death

The meaning of memorial days

Commemoration on each of these days has its own special meaning associated with the events of Christian history.

The third day

The memorial meal on the third day is served in connection with the ascension of Jesus Christ to heaven on the third day after his crucifixion. Resurrection from the dead and the transition to eternal life is the main doctrine of Christian teaching. According to church tradition, after death the human soul "wanders" before the higher powers determine where it will go before the Last Judgment - to heaven or hell. For the first three days, the soul of the deceased is still on earth, visiting the places of his life in the bodily shell and people with whom the person was connected.

Ninth day

On the ninth day, commemoration is performed as a celebration of angelswho ask God to have mercy on the soul of the deceased. At this time, the soul of a deceased person flies around the heavenly abodes, getting acquainted with the forms of another life. On the ninth day, the closest relatives are invited to the commemoration. A photograph of the deceased is placed near the table at which they dine. A glass filled with vodka is placed next to it, a piece of bread is placed on it. It should be noted that the custom of setting a glass is rooted in pagan beliefs. For true Christians, it is unacceptable.

Fortieth day

After nine days, the soul sees pictures of the torment of sinners serving their death sentences in hell. This continues through the fortieth day. On this day, the Almighty finally determines where the soul of the deceased will be sent. Everyone is invited to the commemoration on the fortieth day, as well as those who were absent from the funeral.

How to commemorate death anniversary

Here are some rules to follow at a death anniversary memorial.

What do they order in the church on the anniversary of death

According to Christian teaching, reading prayers for the souls of the departed is the duty of the living... Thanks to this, the lot of sinners is facilitated. It is at the ascension of petitions to the Almighty for the forgiveness of the sins of the dead that the reading of the funeral prayers in the church is directed. You can order a panikhida not only on the anniversary of death, but also on other days.

In churches for such prayers, there are special types of services:

Remembrance of the deceased during the Divine - the main Christian service.
Memorial services.
Lithium.
Reading the Psalter.

As commemorated during the Liturgy

This type of commemoration is the most significant. The names of the dead are mentioned:

One of the outstanding experts in the church charter saint Athanasius (in the world - Sakharov) notes that the reading of memorial prayers during the proskomedia and after the consecration of the holy gifts is the most important. He says that such prayers, although unspoken, in their power and effectiveness cannot be compared with any other prayers and even deeds in memory of the dead.

Memorial service

Translated from Greek, the dirge literally means night service... This name is used to pray for the dead due to the fact that in its structure it is similar to one of the parts of the all-night vigil. And also because the ancient Christians performed services at night. This was a forced phenomenon, as they were subjected to incessant persecution. Panikhida is one of the most common services ordered to commemorate deceased relatives on the anniversary of death. Panikhida, in addition to the temple, are performed both at home and at the grave. On it you can pray for one or several deceased.

Lithium

Unsleeping Psalter

This prayer is read continuously for several days. Usually it is ordered in monasteries, where monks read it while sitting, replacing each other. The Psalter is a collection of ancient psalms, written mainly by the biblical king David. They are of great power and are considered a great grace for departed souls. After reading the Unsleeping Psalter, sinful souls are purified, defeat demons and rise from the hellish flame.
Since ancient times, the Unsleeping Psalter, like other prayers, has been read at the commemoration of relatives at home. To do this, there are a number of rules that must be followed. For prayers to be effective, rules must be followed with great precision. Relatives agree in advance about the order in which they will read the Unbreakable Psalter.

How to order a commemoration in the church correctly

Rules for reading prayers at home on the anniversary of death

The rules for reading the psalter on the anniversary of death look like this.

Having united in a group, the relatives read the Unsleeping Psalter in its entirety for one day.
Arriving at their home, each of them reads one of the twenty parts of the Psalter, called kathisma (which means sitting), mentioning everyone who also participates in the ceremony. This creates a feeling of unity among all those who pray at this time for the soul of the deceased.
The next day, each relative repeats the option of reading at home, but this time with the reading of another part of the psalter.
In total, prayers must be repeated at least forty times.

In conclusion, it must be said that before starting the commemoration at the table, you need to choose appropriate words for the anniversary of death, so as not to offend relatives and the memory of the deceased. Sometimes the audience reads memorial poems on the anniversary of death. It is better if they contain warm feelings towards the deceased, and not only express the bitterness of loss.

Commemoration for 1 year after death rules of conduct

Let us consider by the numberological (numerical) method an event that is associated with the departure of a human being from life, i.e. state of death. Staying in the invisible world takes some time, which in the conventional language of earthlings of the visible world is designated as forty days. This number 40 has become an important symbolic number for us; we attribute it to the Soul of a person who continues his existence in another reality.

Let's pay attention to the actions we perform in memory of the departed loved ones, friends, acquaintances, called - commemoration.

What we do.

Returning from the cemetery (or from the crematorium), we get together to honor the memory of the deceased on this day.

This is the first commemoration.

On the ninth day we gather for the second time and this is the second commemoration.

The third commemoration falls on the fortieth day.

Using the numerical language (the method of cognition), we will try to explain the correctness of our actions during the death of a person close to us, an acquaintance or any other.

Numberology is the science that explains the meaning of the events taking place. It indicates accuracy, revealing errors, delusions (which comes from ignorance) in something. This accuracy allows you to correctly perform any actions consistent with Nature, so as not to deviate from harmony.

Explanation.

Death is a state of transition (from life to another state of being), which takes a certain period of time. By analogy, we can find the semblance of death in our lives. The time of death will fall on the nighttime part of the day, when the last Day "dies" (morning, day, and evening - the trinity). Night for us will be the time of transition, and sleep will be death.

We can take the morning for the beginning of our life, if we consider the whole life in this way; day is our whole life until old age, and evening is our old age and the end of life. Night is our death and departure from life.

Numbering the parts of the day in order, we get: 1 - morning, 2 - day, 3 - evening, 4 - night. The number 4 will turn out to be a transitional one: from one day to another, and therefore from one life to another.

Our dreams, which are a symbol of death, will be a "commemoration" for us, because most often in dreams, events of earthly life are recalled, and this is morning, afternoon and evening. These commemorations are performed in a state of transition from one day to another, which is the night.

The transition received its symbol from us - this is the number 4. Thus, that which precedes the transition, i.e. old age, end, evening - will be symbolic of the number 3.

A dead person goes through his mortal path in the world, invisible to us, but not to him, also from 1 to 4. And there is the beginning of the path, like morning, the continuation of the path is the day and the end of it is evening. Further transition - night.

About the human body.

On such "night-transitions" we can remember people who have passed away from our lives.

In order to understand what these periods represent, one must know the structure of a human being. In this world where we live, we have a Body that is visible to everyone. But it is only qualityreflecting invisible quantity... it quantity - there are three invisible bodies: etheric - vital body, astral - sensitive body and mental - thinking body. Together with the physical visible Body, all bodies make up one human being. (1 + 2 + 3 + 4 \u003d 10, and 10 \u003d 1 + 0 \u003d 1 - one).

With the end of life (and the end is number 3), the deceased begins to say goodbye to his Body of Flesh, which has four bodies: three invisible quantitative and one visible quality (begins to "say goodbye" to each body in turn).

The first body that the deceased leaves behind is the physical one, qualitatively-visible Body. Because it quality, then it is not divided into parts and not measured separately. Living parts of the Day (morning, afternoon and evening), the Body remains one, but the fourth in a row, and three are counted quantitative bodies of the invisible world.

Likewise, the time of night, being the fourth part, is the same for dreams, where everything happens in turn: morning, day, and evening.

This means: that three bodies are three units (1 1 1), which are displayed in the four by their trinity. In order to represent this, we need to imagine a triangle (half-square), which is reflected in exactly the same triangle, while we already get a new quality in the form of a square, and not two triangles.

The number four - 4 differs from the number three - 3 by one unit, which is added as the "unity" of two triangles. (Two triangles connected is a square, or quadrilateral at different angles of the triangles.)

At the moment of death, the deceased, leaving the Body, loses first quality physical Body (square) and functions (a triangle that reflected another triangle). Life begins without a Body, but it is already short-lived, tk. without visible body quality cannot exist quantitative body (consisting of three). This life is determined by the number 3, because the triplicity of the things of the world is the basis, the first brick of all life (a triangle is the first closed figure after a line and an angle, which are considered numbers 1 and 2).

In Numberology, all the constituent parts of something considered are connected by the plus sign (+), and the function of the parts (action, work, force ...) that produces any result is the multiplication sign (x). These signs will have to be used to explain what happens after the deceased leaves the physical Body.

What's happening.

Once in the etheric world - the first in a row, a person begins to perceive the world with etheric vision. Unlike quality of the physical body, where vision is not quality, and changes to the opposite - quantitative, in turn, this body gives the advantage quality perception: all earthly life is here "in the palm of your hand", ie viewed entirely. On Earth, it was lived in time, where events replaced one another (in parts).

According to earthly time, this occurs for three days (three days). On the fourth day (night-transition), the deceased leaves the first etheric body, remaining in the second - astral body. In this segment of the path, sensory perception occurs (shame, pride, torment, conscience, joy, admiration, grief, calmness, etc. - all this arises from the contemplation of a past life; this is like the Court, where good and bad deeds are distinguished in distinction ). This perception takes place for nine days (as 3 x 3, that is, a doubled three, since the world and the body are the second in a row).

What we don’t do, but what we should do.

Thus, we can commemorate the dead for the first time on the day of the funeral, i.e. on the fourth day (4 - transition).

The second time we will add (+) stay in two worlds (the first etheric - 3 days and the second astral - 9 days), while receiving the time of the second astral death, i.e. 3 + 9 \u003d 12 (12 \u003d 1 + 2 \u003d 3). And not on the ninth day from the death of the physical body, but (after nine) - already on the thirteenth, we can remember the departed person, because the limit of life of the astral body is 12 days (3 + 9), and the transition will take place in the next earthly time, i.e. on the day of four (13 \u003d 1 + 3 \u003d 4).

The third body still has to live, and this life takes the time of three triplets (3 x 3 x 3) of the three worlds, i.e. twenty seven days (27).

At this time, a person understands everything that concerns life on Earth with his mental body (body of thought). He understands why he incarnated at all, and is disappointed if he did not remember his cosmic task, having lived his life only satisfying his Body (sex, money, food, work, raising other people or children), not working on himself, on his Soul.

The limit of stay in the mental world, the third - 27 days, and in total with other worlds (adding the parts - the "+" sign), the number 39 \u003d 3 + 9 + 27 (and the number 39 is 3 + 9 \u003d 12 \u003d 3). And on the next earthly day there will be a transition to another reality, where the Soul of a person, freed from four bodies, dwells. This is the third four - the fortieth day (40).

Writing down in one line the path of the deceased by days of transitions, we get:

(3) + (3 x 3) + (3 x 3 x 3) \u003d 3 + 9 + 27 \u003d 39,

or 3 + 3 (squared) + 3 (cubed) \u003d 39,

and, adding quality –1 (unity), we get the number 40, as the total number of the process of death.

Thus, fours take part in the memorial days - 4. But our ignorance leads to distortions like a "damaged phone", and we fall into "inaccuracy", which is typical for our life (and accuracy is given by the knowledge of Numberology!), And when "Inaccuracy" the time of the commemoration will move (which is what happens) from the thirteenth day (13 \u003d 4) to the ninth. This means that we seem to remember the living, and not the dead, we perform actions earlier than the set day.

Number 13.

However, the "transitional" number 4 has come down to our times in the form of three fours together with one, their unity: 4 - the fourth day of the commemoration, 4 - the thirteenth day of the commemoration and 4 - the fortieth day, i.e. 4 + 4 + 4 \u003d 12 + 1 \u003d 13. The number 13 is "dangerous" for us for a reason. It remained in our memory (no longer from a damaged phone) from ancient times, when the knowledge of the secret and invisible world was revealed to people.

But the number 13 (4) is transitional not only in death, but also in birth. Forty (4) weeks - and a person is born into the visible world, therefore the number 13 is dual in nature (the direction of the path is important: to the visible world, or to the invisible).

How does a born person know that it is not only the number 13, but also other numbers that “live” with us? Who thought about the questions "why" and "how" something happens? Many people accept the world in the form of the question "what is this?" and they receive in response only the name of things and phenomena, sort of like an acquaintance with what one has to live with.

(Information about the number 13 can be found on the Forum page of this site: http://nomer7777.ucoz.ru/forum/2-4-1).

Looking at this Circle of the Universe, one can understand about the days of the Transition, this is every fourth Circle:

If we want to find ourselves a life partner, then it is not enough for us to know only his name. It is important for us to manifest it, i.e. the manner of his behavior, the properties inherent in the Soul, which are only reflected through the Body. The Soul is more important to us, because The body is beautiful, but the behavior resembles moral ugliness. The body can only sympathize with us (to be pleasing to the eyes - sight), but we love for the inner quality, which is expressed by the number of symbolic expressions through the body, (manners of movement - gait, gestures, expression of thought, manner of speaking - everything that is personal dignity of a person, his qualities of the Soul - all these are signs that reflect it).

Commemoration for 1 year after death rules of conduct

The commemoration is the embodiment of a living Idea, for which we only know the name - the ritual. Repeating meaningless actions answering the question “what” (to be done after a person's death), we are like a robot, like some thoughtless creature.

In many things we repeat after those who were born before us, because we do not ask questions: “how” (correctly) and “why” (something must be done that could be posed by the question “what is it in front of us?”). We follow thoughtlessly, and then we ask “why do we dream of the deceased?”, To which we receive an answer in the form of advice: “Put the candle down!” So with the help of the dream and the deceased, the question "why" is born in us. You can already understand this as a sign of absence connectionssince memory is the connection of times: that which has gone into the past and carried away a loved one, and that which comes from the future, which we, living today, perceive as the present.

The ritual of seeing off.

Wake as an event has its own inner life, tk. what we do is an external manifestation (ritual). But manifestation can be perfect (good) and imperfect (bad). And if we are already performing our actions in the name of Memory, then it is desirable to achieve an effect in what we have done, which will be communication with the deceased, who is either accompanied by us on our further journey (with the number 4), or not accompanied (with the number 3).

In the meantime, it turns out: we came to see off the man whose train will be tomorrow. The person is not near the train, but we blindly perform the ritual of seeing off. And tomorrow he will go alone ... Without saying goodbye on time, he will be saddened by our absence. This sadness can unconsciously (in the earthly world and the body) feel the Soul of living people (although in its own world it feels consciously). But do we have organs to see something inner and hear it, if we are blind and deaf? We are what we can say about - "having no eyes to see" and "having no ears to hear." We need a healer so that we can gain enlightenment in many things.

New topic.

For me personally, such a healer was Numberology, tk. this is the science of the Integrity of the World, of its not divided into parts, Nature.

We must always remember that the ultimate Goal (wholeness) of our life is death. But death is not the End (not the number 3).

Death is a transition (number 4), but where?

The Numberology Method will answer this question, but this will already be a new topic. In it, I will try to illuminate the path along which our further existence, associated with the number 5, will continue, since We celebrate the fourth commemoration a year later, and the year is equal to 365, as the number of total consecutive days. This number indicates the number 5, as the sum 365 \u003d 3 + 6 + 5 \u003d 14 \u003d 1 + 4 \u003d 5.

Memorials as a word (the sum of the ordinal numbers of the letters of the alphabet) indicate the number 4, because P 17 + O 16 + M 14 + I 10 + H 15 + K 12 + And 10 eventually give the sum \u003d 94, and this is 9 + 4 \u003d 13, or 1 + 3 \u003d 4

The death of a loved one is a great grief. But, unfortunately, it cannot be avoided. If a dear person died, then loved ones have many questions. Where to bury? How to think over the menu correctly? A canteen or cafe is better suited for such an event? And this is not a complete list of questions. Today we will talk specifically about the commemoration.

Such a meal is not just a meal, but a ceremony during which loved ones remember the deceased, his good deeds. During this event, people read a prayer addressed to God. They ask you to forgive the deceased for all his sins. Of course, the memorial dinner must be properly thought out, the menu of which must be composed correctly. To make it easier for you to decide on the list of dishes, we will tell you what you need to prepare for this event and why.

Funeral Dinner Principles

The lunch itself should be simple. Its main goal is to support the physical and mental strength of those who came to commemorate the deceased. Everything must be prepared from fresh ingredients. This is how a memorial dinner should be. Its menu can be varied. It all depends on the traditions of the family, wealth, as well as the preferences of people who will come to remember. Although, of course, guests are not traditionally invited, they come themselves.

A funeral dinner is not a feast during which you need to feed those who come to the end. The purpose of the commemoration is to saturate the guests, thank them for their participation, remember the deceased, pray for his soul. Here, as you understand, the main thing is not food, but people - dead and alive, who were united by the grief of parting.

Thinking over a memorial dinner

We will describe the menu a little later, now we will consider the main dishes that should be at this dinner. First, (the second option is colivo). What it is? It is boiled from grains (rice, barley and others), sweetened with honey and raisins. Such a dish was consecrated at the memorial service. Grain here is a symbol of the resurrection of the soul, and honey and raisins mean spiritual sweetness.

What do you need?

The list of products is small:

0.5 kilograms of rice;
200 grams of dried apricots;
three tbsp. l. honey;
nuts (optional);
200 grams of raisins;
1 liter of water (for soaking).

How is the dish prepared? Soak the grains in water overnight or for several hours. This is necessary in order for the porridge to turn out crumbly. You need to cook until tender. Towards the end, add honey, diluted with water, as well as raisins and dried apricots. This is how kutia turns out.

Borscht

This is another must-have dish. For five liters of water we need:

700 grams of meat on the bone (best of all beef);
three potatoes;
two onions;
one beet (small);
three tomatoes;
one bell pepper (it is best to use red or green);
one cabbage;
a few peas of black pepper;
greenery;
salt.

Cooking borscht for a memorial dinner

For such a dish, first prepare a broth of meat on the bone (cook for two hours). After that you need to add chopped potatoes there. Then take a frying pan, pour oil into it, put it on the stove, pour the finely chopped onion there. After three minutes, add carrots and beets (of course, also chopped) to the pan. If you process the beets in this way, then they can retain their color.

The carrots will take on a bright, orange hue. Vegetables should be simmered in a pan until they become soft. Remember that carrots, onions, and beets retain their flavor and most vitamins when cooked over high heat. Then pour the contents of the pan into the broth, boil everything a little, add chopped cabbage, bay leaves, a few black peppercorns, chopped tomatoes and bell peppers.

Cook for another 15 minutes. Then you need to taste the dish and salt. Then you can turn off the heat and remove the borscht from the stove. Serve the dish hot, with sour cream. Sprinkle with herbs.

Sweet

You can buy pies, or you can bake them yourself. We offer a recipe for banana puffs. What do you need?

packaging of finished dough (500 g);
bananas (200-300 grams);
icing sugar (to taste).

Cooking sweets for the funeral

Take ready-made puff pastry. Let it thaw, then roll it out. Then take a knife and draw rectangles with it. Put the banana filling on them (fruit cut into small pieces). Then join the edges of the dough so that the filling is completely in it. Next, pinch the products a little. Bake in an oven preheated to 220 degrees for about fifteen minutes. The products should be browned. Sprinkle the finished puffs with powdered sugar.

Compote

For cooking, you can use both fresh and frozen fruits. Compote should not be sweet or too sour. How to cook? Put a five-liter pot of water on the fire, let it boil, add fruit (about 1 liter filled jar). Then add sugar (to taste) and cook until tender (about an hour).

The first menu option for thirty people

Now let's talk about what a memorial dinner should be like. The menu after the funeral may vary. We offer our:

If you will be holding a memorial dinner for a year, this menu is quite suitable for this event. Kutia, however, can be removed from the list. It is an obligatory dish only at the commemoration after the funeral. And then - as you wish.

The second menu option for 12 people

Now we will analyze an approximate menu of a memorial dinner in a cafe or at home (for forty days). So, the list of products:

fried fish in batter (two kilograms);
mashed potatoes (2.5-3 kilograms);
salad "Olivier" (two kilograms);
cutlets (12 pieces, about 1.2 kg of minced meat);
sandwiches with red fish or sprats;
pies with cabbage or potatoes (pieces 12-15);
pickles and tomatoes (about 1 kg);
5 liters of liquid (water + juices + compote)
sweets and sweet pies (optional).

If you plan to have another memorial dinner later, the menu for six months, for example, may be the same. Although, of course, you can adjust the list of dishes at your discretion.

Lean

Thinking over everything, pay attention to whether a commemoration fell on the fast. If the answer is yes, then you need to adjust the funeral dinner (menu). A lean set of dishes will not only be appropriate. but even necessary. What to prepare for such a commemoration? How to correct a regular menu by making it lean? Now let's make an approximate list of foods:

uzvar;
lean borscht;
kutia;
lean pies;
potatoes with mushrooms;
cabbage or carrot cutlets;
vegetable salad (cabbage, tomatoes, cucumbers);
the vinaigrette.

Alcohol

We described in detail how to properly think over a memorial dinner, we also discussed its menu. Now let's touch on another important topic. "Which one?" - you ask. Should I drink alcohol during the commemoration? There is no clear answer to this question. Some priests believe that a little red wine can be drunk during the memorial dinner. The Church condemns the use of alcoholic beverages during such a ceremony. Therefore, here you must decide for yourself whether you need alcohol at the memorial dinner or not.

Conclusion

Now you know how to properly make a memorial dinner. We examined the menu in detail. We have offered you a couple of options for sample lists of dishes for the commemoration. We hope that our tips have helped you decide on the choice of food for such a dinner.

In Russia, it is customary to celebrate important dates - during life these are birthdays, and after death - to remember the day of leaving. This date is especially important for Christians. After all, they believe in the resurrection and subsequent eternal life with God. Therefore, the existence of the soul has no end for believers. How is it worthy, according to Christianity, to remember the deceased on the anniversary of his death?

Memorial traditions

In Orthodoxy, it is customary to commemorate the dead, there was such a rite among the ancient Slavs. It is performed on the very day of the funeral, then after 9, 40 days. On the anniversary of death, it is also customary to gather for a special meal. How to remember the deceased if he was a Christian? The most important thing is, of course, prayer. It is also necessary to refrain from heavy libations, and preferably from alcohol in general. In no case should the solemn commemoration turn into exuberant fun. This is very far from Christian tradition.

In addition to private prayer, for the anniversary of death in the church they order:

a special commemoration during the Liturgy is the morning service, during which particles are taken out of the consecrated bread for the dead. It is customary to order the so-called "sorokoust" - they will commemorate at forty services;

panikhida - usually served on Saturdays, but you can agree with the priest for another day. You can come to the memorial service weekly, but the anniversary is a particularly important day;

lithium is another type of funeral service, it is somewhat shorter than the requiem. It is served at any time; for its fulfillment, you can bring a priest to the cemetery.

It is imperative that at any of this commemoration, family members themselves, friends of the deceased, should pray. After all, the father cannot put those feelings and emotions that are experienced by loved ones. He acts as a performer of the ceremony. Of course, his prayer is valid, but you cannot entrust everything to others. After all, we are talking about the posthumous fate of a loved one.

But this is not all that is ordered in the church. On the anniversary of death, the Psalter is appropriate. Usually it is ordered in monasteries, it is done for a long time. Depending on the donation for a month, for half a year or for a whole year. Again, be sure to remember the deceased yourself every day. For this, there are special short prayers in the morning rule.

In church shops, special books are sold, where you can enter everyone who needs to be remembered. This book can be taken to the temple so that when submitting the notes, you will not forget anyone. When the deacon or priest reads the notes, be sure to pray for themselves.

Other days of remembrance

There are both private commemorations and special church holidays, when it is customary to go to cemeteries. This is the so-called "parental day", it is celebrated several times. These days, too, it is necessary to remember the dead, regardless of when they departed to another world.

2nd Tuesday after Easter is a rolling day. In some Russian regions there is a tradition to visit graves right on the day of Christ's Resurrection, although this is not officially approved - so bright is Easter, it is believed that there are no dead on this day.

Even if this is not the anniversary of death, the joyful words "Christ is Risen!" must be heard by all the departed. The name of the memorable day is appropriate - Radonitsa. For everyone there is hope for eternity with God, therefore this day is intended for joint joy - in heaven and on earth. At the graves, it is customary to make a meal, bring colored eggs, pancakes, distribute the remains of the meal to the poor.

All the dead are also commemorated on other days:

Trinity Saturday - Saturday before Pentecost;

Meat Saturday - before the beginning of Great Lent;

Saturdays during Great Lent - 2nd, 3rd, 4th.

A deceased person still remains a member of the universal church, therefore, memorial services can be ordered constantly.

How to spend a sad anniversary

A worthy end is the crown of a believer's life. In daily prayers there are petitions so that God would grant an unashamed death. Orthodox Christians strive to confess and receive communion before meeting with the Creator. There are special rituals that are performed on a dying person. After death, they no longer repeat.

In order for the anniversary of death to be celebrated with dignity, it is necessary to begin the commemoration in the temple. This can be a presence at the Liturgy, then at a memorial service, or simply a pre-ordered lithium. After that, drive to the cemetery, perform a civil funeral there, or read 17 kathisma. After that, make a meal, remember the deceased, clean up the grave. Drinking vodka, especially pouring it on the grave, is not an Orthodox custom that will not help the deceased in any way!

It is better to bring fresh flowers to the graves, this is in keeping with Christian traditions. There is never artificial greenery in temples, because God has no dead. At one time, the church even tried to ban the tradition of decorating coffins with wreaths with inscriptions, but it was not easy to defeat it. This custom is caused not so much by greed or paganism as it is directed against vandalism, which, unfortunately, is often found in Russian cemeteries.

But it is possible and necessary to refrain from drinking. The pain of loss is great, but other ways must be found to cope with it. It is unlikely that the deceased will be pleased with such behavior. It is better not to spend money on alcoholic drinks, but to distribute them to the poor as a reminder of the soul.

How to remember the deceased for a year after the death of the house

You can also commemorate the anniversary of death at home. It happens that it is impossible to go to the cemetery due to various circumstances. Then it is necessary to invite everyone who wants to participate to prepare a special meal. The customs of setting up a device for the deceased and covering mirrors are not Orthodox.

Before you sit down at the table, you need to pray. One of the relatives should read the 17th kathisma, or the rite of the requiem. Candles are lit during prayer. Then you can start your meal. It must pass with dignity, conversations must be decent, jokes and laughter are inappropriate.

Pagan meals for the deceased were held with great fanfare. It was believed that the more expensive and splendid the memorial feast would be, the better it would be for the newly departed at the grave. The trips were accompanied not only by abundant libations, but also by dances, songs, and competitions. The meaning of Christian funerals and commemorations is completely different. They should maintain a prayerful memory of a person who is not even considered dead, but who has passed into another world.

Special meals are served at the table. These include kutia. This is wheat porridge, which is sometimes replaced with rice. But its main feature is that it is prepared sweet, seasoned with raisins, other dried fruits, honey. It is advisable to consecrate this food during the service. Sweetness symbolizes the joy that awaits the righteous in heaven.

Pancakes are also a traditional memorial dish, which are usually washed down with jelly.

Table setting should be normal. You can put fresh spruce branches on the table, decorate the edges of the tablecloth with black lace.

Each change of dishes should be accompanied by a prayer: "Rest, Lord, the soul of Your servant (name)." You should also pray after the meal. But it is not customary to thank the hosts for the memorial meal.

When all the necessary prayers have been read, someone can read the verses for the anniversary of death. There are no church prohibitions on this score. Poems should remind of the merits of the deceased, of his spiritual qualities. Of course, everyone has shortcomings, but Christians trust in God's mercy, try not to remember them, but pray that sins will be forgiven.

It is customary to celebrate the year from the date of death not only in Russia. The dead are also commemorated in Asian countries. Japan, Vietnam, Korea and China have their own traditions. Followers of Judaism commemorate dead parents, brothers, children. True, their anniversary date does not coincide with the generally accepted calendar. It is customary to fast during the commemoration, meat and wine are prohibited.

How to honor the deceased yourself

What death anniversary prayers are read at home to commemorate the deceased? The Psalter is best suited, the reading charter is indicated in every Orthodox edition. In this case, there are special prayers between the psalms, where the names of the deceased are mentioned. This is the best option. Akathists can also be read, but the Psalms were written much earlier. Also, all Christian churches recognize their inspiration.

There are cases when the Church charter prohibits the commemoration of the deceased at the Liturgy, ordering requiem for them, and conducting a funeral service. This applies to those who were baptized, but did not go to church regularly, that is, they were not churched. A person who takes part in confession and Communion is considered to be churched, all the rest are considered “parishioners”.

True, in practice, deviations are often made from this rule. It all depends on the ruling bishop. In any case, it is necessary to clarify this issue with the clergy.

It is also expressly forbidden on behalf of the Church to commemorate those who took their own lives voluntarily. If a person died in war protecting others, this is not considered suicide. In general, death in war is one of the most honorable. But death from a drug overdose is a form of suicide.

However, the holy fathers teach to hope for the mercy of God. It is allowed to pray for such people in private, there is even a special akathist for suicides, compiled in the last century. You can also add something from yourself, but you should not be too zealous either. We are ignorant of all spiritual laws, such prayers can end in a mental disorder for someone who wants to do a good deed.

Why commemorate the dead

When a person has finished his earthly journey, he does not need a magnificent funeral, nor an expensive coffin or a marble monument. Prayer is the main help that we can provide to our deceased loved ones. This is not just a tribute to tradition, but a saving thread that can lead a person to the Kingdom of God. It is especially important to pray in the first days, when the soul goes through an ordeal. But even after a year or two has passed, it must be done.