First night after marriage. What should the newlyweds do on their wedding night? Beautiful wedding night after the wedding: decorating the bedroom

FIRST MARRIAGE NIGHT, in the traditional sense - the first sexual contact of the newlyweds, accompanied by the bride; today it is largely a conditional term, since such a night can take place long before the official conclusion of marriage or some time after the registration of the marriage union; moreover, the first intimate encounter does not always take place at night.

Even with inexperience in matters of sex, the newlyweds are able to carry out sexual intercourse, but the wedding night is too important an event in the life of lovers to be taken lightly. So, according to Steckel, "for a woman's love, the circumstance plays an exceptional role, whether the first bars passed with dissonance or with a full harmonic chord" (see). The conditions that it is desirable to fulfill at the first intimacy are quite simple, but you should think about them in advance.

It is quite obvious that the first wedding night should be held without witnesses and with the complete confidence of the young that their solitude will not be disturbed even by accident. The marriage bed should not creak, it is desirable that the room be twilight.

Both spouses should remember about the need for preliminary hygiene procedures (warm water and soap are enough for this). It should be remembered that the attitude to the first sexual intercourse in life in girls is significantly different from that in men.

Most girls have a certain fear of the first intercourse, the first wedding night. They like hugs, kisses, caresses and tender words of a beloved man, but the upcoming sexual intercourse is often perceived with fearful, wary. The persistence of a young man, his unwillingness to reckon with the feelings and experiences of the girl, and sometimes gross violence can cause her mental, and if she resists, physical trauma, often with serious consequences for further intimate life (for example, the development or formation of a young woman's disgust for sexual intercourse). You need to be patient-persistent, gentle and necessarily confident in your abilities.

When defloration during the first wedding night, the pain can be reduced to a minimum if the first one is carried out in one of the following positions. The wife lies across the bed on her back, lowering her legs to the floor, the husband spreads her hips to such an extent that he can stand between them, leaning on his hands on either side of his wife (holding his weight), at the moment of introduction he is in an inclined position. The position is considered even more gentle when a girl, completely lying on her back, puts a pillow or a blanket rolled up under her buttocks, and raises her bent legs at the knees to her chest, which provides maximum tension hymen at the entrance to and ensures its rupture. Powerful and elastic muscles of the perineum, straining, narrow the entrance to the vagina, complicating the first sexual intercourse, in connection with which it is necessary to consciously relax them.

The next sexual intercourse after the first wedding night is recommended no earlier than a day or a few days (after the tears of the hymen have healed), even if the young wife does not mind doing it earlier. Very rarely, bleeding does not stop for a long time - in this case, you need to contact a gynecologist (see).

If during the first intimacy a young woman does not have blood and complaints of discomfort arising from insufficient degree of sexual arousal (due to the lack of vaginal lubrication), sexual intercourse can continue until its logical conclusion - ejaculation. In this case, it is possible to use one of the methods of contraception: interrupted coitus, condom, calendar method, etc. (see).

On their wedding night, it can hardly be considered the best option, although such cases are by no means uncommon. When the first wedding night coincides with menstruation, you need to know that intercourse during this period is undesirable (see). Occasionally, women experience vaginismus, when it is pointless to use force, achieving the introduction of the penis into the vagina, since this is almost impossible to achieve, and the relationship will be damaged for a long time.

In some cases, in men during the first wedding night, it is possible premature (sometimes already with intense caresses or the very first frictions), but there should not be strong feelings about this, since after a short period of time an erection may arise again, and the degree of arousal of a man will decrease somewhat , which will increase the duration of intercourse. Often, mainly among timid, shy, suspicious, insecure young men, penile erection does not occur or it weakens sharply when trying to imissia, and sexual intercourse ends in failure.

It is very important that the young wife behave correctly in this situation. It is well known that reproaches and irritations from a partner contribute to a young man's neurotic fixation on sexual problems, increase his fear of intimacy, and hence the likelihood of repeated breakdowns with each subsequent attempt to have sexual intercourse.

What to do on their wedding night?

So, what to do on their wedding night? If you decide to take up the preparations for this night on your own, then first of all, you need to choose a place where it will take place. Each hotel has special rooms for newlyweds, and you can rent one of these rooms in your city, or you can go to another city and rent such a room there.

You can also take a ride on the ship and spend the first wedding night in the cabin of the ship, especially since now each ship has more than one cabin for newlyweds, in which a romantic atmosphere is created.

It doesn't matter which option you choose, the most important thing is that this night of love does not take place in your apartment, where your or his parents are sleeping behind the wall. This night should belong only to you and you should think only of yourself, and not that you can inadvertently wake up your parents.

We have decided on the place, now you need to decide on the attributes that you will need for the first wedding night.

First, you need to stock up on gourmet yet light food and champagne. For food, give preference to seafood and fruits.

Secondly, get some silk bedding and rose petals that you will sprinkle on your bed in advance. Of course, at first it will be unusual for you to lie on silk sheets, but this will add novelty to your sexual relationship.

Third, you need to think about your underwear that your new husband will see. It's good if you can change your wedding lingerie into something more erotic and sexy, so that your man doesn't remain indifferent.

Don't forget the candles to add a romantic touch to your room. Just do not get carried away with scented candles, otherwise, instead of a pleasant pastime, you will have to ventilate the room all night.

Before your wedding night, try to make your skin soft and smooth by applying a moisturizing body mask or moisturizing wrap.

If you want to stay on your wedding night as beautiful as you were at the wedding, then instead of mascara, you need to stick on false eyelashes so that your husband does not see mascara streaks in the morning.

While taking a bath, drop 2 drops of rose essential oil into the water, it will not only give you charm and confidence, but also envelop your body with a pleasant and delicate aroma, and this is just what you need for a night of love.

When the banquet is over, and you are left alone with your husband, you do not need to immediately unpack the gifts, it can wait. Better to turn on romantic music and light candles placed in advance around the room, have dinner, drink champagne, take a bath together, give each other an erotic massage and do everything that you dreamed of, but did not dare to do. On your first night in marriage, bring all your sexual desires to life so that you will remember this night for the rest of your life.

: use knowledge for health

The final of any wedding celebration is the wedding night. Nowadays, the first night of the newlyweds has become a convention that has no value. It is now considered the norm when newlywed sex takes place far before the wedding.

But once upon a time the first wedding night was accompanied by a whole ritual, which is different for each nation. We suggest looking at the pages of history and remembering the customs of the first wedding night.

HOW WAS THE FIRST MARRIAGE NIGHT IN EUROPE

In the Middle Ages in the countries of Europe there was a tradition according to which the bride had to spend the night not with her husband, but with the feudal lord. Historians give different arguments for the emergence of such a custom. Some argued that deprivation of virginity is a dangerous procedure subject only to deities, and the feudal lord took full responsibility for what was happening and protected the spouses from the wrath of the gods.

Others complained about the satisfaction of their sexual needs and the desire to be above everyone, because the feudal lord could easily refuse from ugly brides, and with beautiful girls this rule was always fulfilled. True, at the end of the 16th century in Switzerland, this custom was abandoned, and in Germany it was replaced by a ransom.

FIRST MARRIAGE NIGHT SEX IN AFRICA

In some tribes of Africa on the wedding night, it was customary to knock out the girl's two front teeth. It symbolized marriage - something like a wedding ring. Married women were not ashamed of their toothless smile and showed it to everyone, while unmarried women covered their mouths.

In Samoa, the first wedding night must have passed with the sleeping relatives of the bride. Only newlyweds should make love silently so that no one wakes up. Otherwise, the man faced serious harassment from relatives. That is why many Samoan men grease their bodies with oil before their wedding night: this makes it easier to escape and the beatings are not so painful.

Sex on their wedding night in North Africa involved intercourse between the bride and the guests at the wedding. Each guest had to give the bride a special gift.

There were tribes in which it was customary to deprive girls of virginity at a very young age - before the onset of menstruation. It had to be done by an absolutely outsider. Most often it turned out to be a traveler passing through a village. If during the beginning of her period the girl remained a virgin, it was considered a real shame, she could never get married.

In the Bakhtu tribe in Central Africa, instead of having sex on their wedding night, the newlyweds had to fight until dawn, and then disperse to their parents' houses and sleep off. It's a strange custom, of course, but every nation has its own cockroaches in their heads. The next night, the newlyweds fought again. And so it went on until they splash out all their hatred on each other for years to come. Sometimes such battles ended in death.

Some African peoples had a tradition of performing an act of defloration using special instruments. This mini-operation was performed by the oldest women.

Sometimes this procedure was replaced by a natural one, but it was not the spouse who had to deprive the girl of her virginity, but the father or elder brother of the groom, as well as the priest or elder.

In the Arunto tribe, the friends of the future husband were supposed to deprive the girl of her virginity. The man chose two or three friends, they kidnapped the bride and each of them had sex with her. When the girl lost her innocence, anyone could come to her house in the flesh until the wedding, and have sex with her in order to take a sample from the newly-made woman.

HOW DOES THE FIRST MARRIAGE NIGHT OF THE MUSLIMS

The first wedding night for Muslims has practically not changed since ancient times. Most Muslims still have a custom to show the groom's relatives the sheet on which the newlyweds had sex. Blood stains testified to the innocence of the bride, if they were not - the girl was considered vicious, it was a shame for the whole family. Currently, this rule is observed only in some regions.

Before their wedding night, Muslims must observe a number of customs:

• The first wedding night for Muslims takes place only after the bride has transported all the necessary things to her husband's house. They begin to collect the dowry for a girl from an early age; she must have at least 40 blankets and pillows. Bedding must be decorated and sewn with your own hands (some items are not prohibited to buy)
• Before embarking on intimacy, a man should put his hand on his wife's head, praise her, say a few gentle words and end his speech with the phrase "In the Name of Allah." Then, the newlyweds read two ritual prayers, after which the man reads another prayer, in which he asks to bless Allah for living together and, in case of divorce, help them maintain friendly relations.
• A man must definitely present to his wife a lot of sweets and delicious drinks. Honey and milk were considered indispensable products on the table. The spouse should be gentle and gentle when dealing with his wife, win her over, talk. Obscene intimate relationships are prohibited by the Qur'an. A woman should not push a man away, because this could lead to sad consequences. Also, a newly-made wife should not be indifferent and cold.
• In the morning, after the first wedding night, the couple perform the ritual of ablution and start eating. They often set the table and invite relatives.

HOW DOES THE FIRST MARRIAGE NIGHT WITH THE CHECHEN PASS

For Chechens, the first wedding night takes place on the third day of the wedding. To perform the ritual, the man put on a special costume, which was previously presented to him by the bride's relatives. At this time, the woman should be ready in the bedroom, where her married friends bring her.

Before intimacy, a man must open the Koran and pray to Allah, then close the book with a dense canvas and begin to deprive his wife of innocence. If the spouses did not know each other before the wedding, intercourse is not a prerequisite on their wedding night, they must first get to know each other.

There should be no one in the room where the newlyweds sleep, not even animals.

FIRST MARRIAGE NIGHT WITH MUSLIMS IN DAGESTAN

For Dagestanis, the first wedding night is held in a special way: it is turned into a rite of martial arts. A man will be worthy of a woman only if he wins. The bride is being prepared for a duel since childhood, and on the wedding night they shaved her head, lubricated exposed skin with grease, put on clothes with many knots, and tied her overalls with a cord that should preserve her virginity.

No one was allowed to enter the room where the battle took place, it was only possible to eavesdrop and spy. According to ancient customs, the guy was obliged to defeat the girl and the battle continued until victorious.

If the fight lasted too long, the bride was persuaded to surrender, they deliberately did not allow her to drink or eat, but they did everything for the groom.

The sooner a man unties all the knots in his overalls, the faster he can take possession of his wife. The battle took place without weapons, and bodily harm was not forbidden.

HOW DOES THE FIRST MARRIAGE NIGHT WITH THE GYPS GO

Gypsies, of course, are not the cleanest nation on hand, but they have observed their traditions from time immemorial. The first wedding night among the gypsies is called "The Carrying Out of Honor" and is considered the most important ceremony at the wedding. The bride must keep her virginity until the wedding, otherwise, she will dishonor her family. The newlyweds, together with three distinguished ladies from both families, go to a separate room, where they check the bride's innocence.

Sex of the newlyweds takes place without witnesses, but the groom is obliged to endure a veil with traces of virgin blood.

According to another version, three ladies deprive the girl of her innocence, using a sheet wrapped around her finger, so that the newlyweds cannot falsify the bride's virginity. There is another version of the first wedding night for the gypsies - the groom and the bride must perform the first sexual intercourse on the banquet table in the presence of guests. When the girl's innocence is proven, the ladies put the sheet with marks on the tray, shower it with red ribbons and bring it out to the guests. Red ribbons are handed out to the groom's relatives for a fee. After the ceremony, the bride is dressed in a red dress, her braids are braided and the veil is removed.

FIRST MARRIAGE NIGHT IN RUSSIA

In the days of Ancient Russia, premarital relations were not forbidden - it was a widespread phenomenon. Some young people managed to live with each other and get married, and sometimes had children. In some settlements, a "trial marriage", in our civil law, was widespread. Young people lived together, shared their life, gave birth to their first child, and only then they could get married, if they did not change their mind.

Some of the traditions of Russia were similar to the barbarian ones. At the wedding, every man could touch and touch the bride the way it should have happened during the wedding night. The bride could even be stripped down to her bottom shirt at the wedding to showcase all the juice. When the wedding drew to a close, the young people retired in a separate room, and the guests eavesdropped and peeped under the door so that the newlyweds were busy with each other and not sleeping.

Sex was supposed to continue until the morning, which was facilitated by the guests - they yelled ditties with sexual connotations and spurred the young in every possible way. In the morning, the bride and groom provided evidence of the deprivation of innocence. If the groom did not succeed, he could repeat the attempt two more times, if even then he did not cope with his duty, the groom was replaced by a more experienced man. In some villages, it was customary to spend the first wedding night with the groom's older brothers, who came to the aid of the inexperienced groom if something happened.

As we can see, the first wedding night in many countries presupposed deprivation of virginity for a girl, if the girl was vicious before the wedding, her family was disgraced, and the negligent bride could be returned to her parents. True, now any gynecologist will say that during the first intercourse there may not be blood, exactly the same as pain, since the hymen is different for everyone.

Wedding night - what to do? To begin with, I would like to note that in the classical sense this concept is rare today. Newlyweds most often already have experience in sexual terms, which they acquired even before the wedding. But there are also exceptions. It is worth considering them and giving an answer to the question: "The first wedding night - what to do?"

In a relationship between two lovers, several types of behavior can be distinguished. For example, Romeo + Juliet. This means that both the boy and the girl are virgins. What-what - and this is indeed a rarity. And the fact that this couple has new impressions ahead and the discovery of a world unknown for them is great. So, in this case, to the question "wedding night - what to do?" it is worth giving the following answer: "Relax - and surrender to feelings and emotions." The process will take place only when thoughts recede into the background, and waves of languor and bliss will seize the bodies of the newlyweds. You just need to relax and have fun, and not force events due to the fact that somewhere in the subconscious there is a fear of not being able to do something. A man should remember: no need to be surprised and afraid. After all, the girl at this moment wants to see a confident and strong man next to her, and not a timid and fearful boy. She wants to know that she is trusting herself to the right person. And the girl herself should listen to the call of her body and heart.

Arguing on the topic "Wedding night - what to do?" there is one more fact worth noting. After the first sex, a woman may not lose her virginity due to being very strong or elastic. An inexperienced man cannot break through it at once. In this case, you should not be intimidated. It is worth completing what you started after five days.

Another version of the relationship in a couple - "Petrarch and Laura". This situation is more common. The girl did not have before marriage, and the man is experienced. Many guys are afraid to deprive their chosen one of their virginity. For different reasons. Someone is unpleasant, someone is afraid that she will be hurt.

There are pitfalls in this business, as in any other. For a girl, a newlywed night is not an ordinary sexual experience. Experts have proven that the first sex has a huge impact on the emergence of sensuality. The slightest tactlessness - and the girl will have a negative attitude to sex life. Frigidity may even develop. An experienced man will first prepare his partner for intimacy. Simply put, foreplay will help. Only then will it be possible to start the main process.

It also happens: a girl is already a goddess in sex, and a guy is a virgin. Well ... then the whole initiative is in the hands of the young lady. She has to make sure that her faithful is not nervous and feels confident. After all, it can hurt his feelings - that his chosen one has experience, and he still "sat up too long", so to speak.

Finally, the wedding night is also important for those who already have experience in sex: solemnity does not disappear! A girl always expects something special from the first "official" intimacy. Don't forget about it. To make the first night even more pleasant for the newlyweds, you can drink delicious wine, have a snack before that. And, of course, the atmosphere. A semi-dark room, clean beautiful linen, flowers, music will fill the first wedding night with romance that you will remember all your life.

The wedding night, in the traditional sense - the first sexual contact of the newlyweds, accompanied by the defloration of the bride; today it is largely a conditional term, since such a night can take place long before the official conclusion of marriage or some time after the registration of the marriage union; moreover, the first intimate encounter does not always take place at night.

Even with inexperience in matters of sex, the newlyweds are able to have sexual intercourse, however the wedding night Is too important an event in the life of lovers to be taken lightly.

So, according to Steckel, "for a woman's love, the circumstance plays an exceptional role, whether the first bars passed with dissonance or with a full harmonic chord" (see Sexual Harmony). The conditions that it is desirable to fulfill at the first intimacy are quite simple, but you should think about them in advance. It is quite clear that the wedding night should take place without witnesses and with the complete confidence of the young that their solitude will not be disturbed even by accident. The marriage bed should not creak, it is desirable that the room be twilight. Both spouses should remember about the need for preliminary hygiene procedures (warm water and soap are enough for this).

It should be remembered that the attitude to the first sexual intercourse in life in girls is significantly different from that in men. Most girls have a certain fear of first intercourse. They like hugs, kisses, caresses and tender words of a beloved man, but the upcoming sexual intercourse is often perceived with fearful, wary. The persistence of a young man, his unwillingness to reckon with the feelings and experiences of the girl, and sometimes gross violence can cause her mental, and if she resists, physical trauma, often with serious consequences for further intimate life (for example, the development of vaginismus or the formation of disgust in a young woman to sexual intercourse). You need to be patient-persistent, gentle and necessarily confident in your abilities.

With defloration, pain can be reduced to a minimum if the first coitus is carried out in one of the following positions. The wife lies across the bed on her back, lowering her legs to the floor, the husband spreads her hips to such an extent that he can stand between them, leaning on his hands on either side of his wife (holding his weight), at the moment of insertion of the penis he is in an inclined position ... Even more gentle is the posture when a girl, completely lying on her back, puts a pillow or a rolled-up blanket under her buttocks, and raises her bent knees to her chest, which ensures maximum tension of the hymen at the entrance to the vagina and ensures its rupture. Powerful and elastic muscles of the perineum, straining, narrow the entrance to the vagina, making it difficult for the first sexual intercourse, in connection with which it is necessary to deliberately relax them. The next sexual intercourse is recommended no earlier than a day or a few days later (after the tears of the hymen have healed), even if the young wife does not mind doing it earlier. Very rarely, bleeding does not stop for a long time - in this case, you need to consult a gynecologist (see Gynecology).

If, during the first intimacy, a young woman does not have blood and complaints of discomfort arising from insufficient degree of sexual arousal (due to the lack of vaginal lubrication), sexual intercourse can continue until its logical conclusion - ejaculation. In this case, it is possible to use one of the methods of contraception: interrupted coitus, condom, calendar method, etc. (see Prevention of pregnancy). Conception in wedding night can hardly be considered the best option, although such cases are by no means uncommon.

On match wedding night with menstruation, you need to know that intercourse during this period is undesirable (see Genital Hygiene). Occasionally, women experience vaginismus, when it is pointless to use force, achieving the introduction of the penis into the vagina, since this is almost impossible to achieve, and the relationship will be damaged for a long time. In some cases, men may have premature ejaculation (sometimes already with intense caresses or the very first frictions), but there should not be strong feelings about this, since after a short period of time an erection may arise again, and the degree of arousal of a man will decrease slightly, which will increase the duration intercourse.

Often, mainly among timid, shy, suspicious, insecure young men, penile erection does not occur or it weakens sharply when trying to imissia (see Introitus), and sexual intercourse ends in failure. It is very important that the young wife behave correctly in this situation. It is well known that reproaches and irritations from a partner contribute to a young man's neurotic fixation on sexual problems, increase his fear of intimacy, and hence the likelihood of repeated breakdowns with each subsequent attempt to have sexual intercourse.