How to let go of the situation and do not think about it? How to let go of the situation: practical recommendations and advice of a psychologist.

In the life of all people, events occur, some of which are then remembered and unpleasant to the years. Why is bad easily remembered, and you can forget about good? Here everything is written off on the properties of memory, which keeps the situation that a person wants to let go.

The desire to let go of the situation occurs only when the fact that a person is remembered is unpleasant, it hurts, hurt. An online magazine site understands how hardly becomes a person who will remember the unpleasant past. As this can affect his mood, well-being and even performance, which is reduced, should be understood in ways to release an unpleasant event.

How to let go of the situation?

To let go of the situation, you need to understand the reason, because of which it stuck in your head. Memory just does not scroll down certain memories in itself. Please note that the event you want to let go, causes you. Negative bright emotions make you remember what happened. If these emotions were not, then the situation was forgotten by itself.

It should be understood in the reasons, because of which you have emotions regarding the situation you want to forget:

Why are you offended?
What causes you anger?
What do you disagree with?
What causes you irritation?

In a situation there is a certain element that causes strong emotional experiences in humans. This element is an important dominant in the whole event. It is impossible to forget what has a value for a person. Thus, it is necessary to identify this element and deprive its significance for itself:

What offended, now should not hurt.
What caused anger, now should be indifferent to you.
What you did not agree with, should now have meanings.
What annoyed you, now does not concern you.

In other words, discharge, because of what you have had an unpleasant strong experience. Then the situation itself will be the past, which you will not pay attention.

In other ways, psychologists call the situation to release the situation:

Setting the goal. While you lie on the bed and grieve, nothing changes in your life. Your real life gradually becomes the future when you recall the past. If you do not take yourself anything, do not fresting, do not interest, then fill your time with unpleasant memories.
Getting new emotions and impressions. When they say that you need to distract, people are wrong. It will not be able to get to be distracted (you probably tried it and now you know). You can only encourage your brain to be distracted by saturation by its new events. Drive an active image, Meet New People, Make yourself with something, achieve a new, travel, come in new places, etc. All this will saturate your brain with new events that you will call new emotions. They will block those experiences from which you wanted to get rid of. You do not have to let go, everything will pass and remain in the past.

Only a person decides what to spend his time. If you do nothing, then nothing will happen. A person will still suffer as she did before. Therefore, without the applusion of efforts, nothing will achieve.

How to let go of the situation - Psychology

The situation is sometimes impossible to let go for the reason that it must be resolved. For example, you quarreled with your loved one or they were fired from work. You can not think about what happened. Here you just need to solve the problem. However, difficulties are found at every step.

While the problem has evolved, people scandalous or a man left the old place of work, he managed to overradize with everyone, talking a lot of unpleasant words and hear a lot of impartial phrases in his address. The words and actions committed on the emotions that arose due to the problem were significant. And the problem itself went to the background.

A person can no longer let go of the situation, because he recalls how he was offended, offended, did not respect. And the problem itself, with which it all starts, remains somewhere on the background. Psychologists advise themselves to give themselves a couple of days to calm their emotions, and then proceed to solving the problem, and not remember what happened after her occurrence.

Of course, it is unpleasant what happened on the soil of the problem. However, if you do not solve the problem itself, then the situation will be difficult to let go. The more you think about what happened, the more you will be angry, aggressive, resent. After all, you will remember that people spent on you and what you did in response. You will not think about the problem while you are raging emotions. That is why you first need to calm down, relax, and then think about not the situation of the conflict, but the problem on the basis of which the conflict has developed.

Here you are invited to look at the problem from the side. She did not happen to you, but with another person. If it were and it was, what would you advise another person with whom such a problem happened? Start with solving the problem, then go to the next:

Forgive yourself and your opponent for those words and actions that were committed under the action of emotions. Everyone wanted to defend her right and defend themselves when all the forces were not aimed at solving the problem.
Understand the behavior and words of another person, becoming in his place. If you were on the site of your "enemy", how would you lead yourself? More often people behave equally. Thus, your opponent did the same as you would lead yourself in his place.
Decision your principles. If you wish to reconcile with anyone, ask for forgiveness or solve the situation in other ways, you will have to abandon your pride, beliefs and principles that "other people should". You need to solve the problem, not to other people. So you need to give up, look for compromises, act, etc.

How to let go of a person and the situation from thoughts and hearts?

Quite often, people cannot forget their loved ones who left them, betrayed or left. It grieves not only the very care of another person, but also how it was done. Often, the breaks of relations occur due to the change, the appearance of third parties, the influence of relatives, the extinction of feelings, deception, betrayal, etc. In other words, it is difficult to let go of a person and the situation from the heart and thoughts, if all this causes strong experiences and emotions.

What does it mean to let another person? So take the fact of his absence in your life, to stop thinking about it, to include in your plans, to remember him, take into account his opinion, even interested in what he could think in a particular situation. For example, you previously purchased food with another person, consulting what to buy. Now you need to realize that this person is not there, you alone buy products. Now your opinion becomes the main thing when deciding what to acquire. And it does not matter what another person would say about this.

It is quite difficult to let people have people. If a man leaves the relationship, then a woman can still worry about this. Here will not be an effective advice "Forget and do not think." Usually a woman needs for a long time to make efforts to forget his beloved man. How to do it?

View a man sober glance. Remove the "pink glasses" and understand that you met with a person who has shortcomings. It is not so perfect as it seems. He may have even more flaws than your neighbor or a good friend. Look soberly and real on that man with whom you met. Look at him with a cold look, as if you never loved him.
Evaluate the relationship in which you were with this man. Surely they were imperfect, otherwise they would not be broken. You just seemed strong if you wonder why a man was gone. If you really analyze what kind of relationships have been built with a man, you will understand that they could not exist forever.
Remove all things that remind about the past. If you look at something, which causes unpleasant memories, it should be removed.
Stop someone to blame, blame or offended. If you are insulted on a man, then hold on for it. Stop it at all to test anything for the former cavalier, forgive him for everything, let him live as he wants.
Meet new people. Make yourself with a new job. Find a new passion. All this helps you to saturate yourself with new emotions and impressions.
Respect yourself. If you do not want to be, it means that this is the problem of another person. Do not run for anyone and do not persuade anyone. If people want to be with you, then they themselves come and offer you something.
Build the future without a former man. Dream, plan, fantasize so that your future is happy and there was not your former Uhager in it. Moreover, believe that your future will be like that. You will be happy without a former, why start applying efforts.

Sometimes memory begins to cause good memories. How did you feel good with a former man on such a day and under such circumstances. You gladly remember good, and then return to the present, where this man is no longer. Do not make a mistake, starting to think that this man was the only one who could make you happy. Have a pleasant moments have happened to all men, not only with it. This suggests that they all tried. And when they stopped trying, the relationship was spoiled.

Thank your former for that pleasant that they did for you, and believe that your future will be filled with no less good events, but already with other men.

More women are invited to engage in the transformation of their appearance. Give yourself in the form, create a new image, make a shift of the wardrobe. When you see a beautiful woman in a mirror, then you will stop thinking about an ungrateful man, because you will realize that you are worthy of the best.

How to let go of the situation in relationships?

You broke up or just between you happened something unpleasant, the situation in relationships can worry and cause unpleasant emotions. Let me go out until you worry. Therefore, we will offer the following ways to release the situation in the past:

Please accept what happened. You do not change the past, no matter how hurt you. Complete with what happened and direct the forces on the further development of events.
Decide the situation. Here it is necessary to understand the reasons because of which the trouble occurred, after which they could be eliminated, or never to repeat errors.
Allow yourself to be happy. Whatever happens to you, now it remains in the past. Fill your present with happiness. Allow it yourself and attach efforts for this.
Do not cling to a person. If he wants to leave, let go. If he does something, let him make mistakes. Just do not take responsibility for what is performed by other people. You are responsible only for what you are doing.
Release the situation on Samotek. Sometimes not everything is subject to your forces. If you can not solve the situation, then let it develop as it considers the desired one.

The release of the situation is a difficult period, because people sharpen their attention on feelings, on the actions and words of others, for which they cling and continue to be offended. As a result, it makes it time to spend time on what has long passed. Here you just need to speak out and realize that the situation remained in the past. If it does not turn out to be opposed to friends or native, then you can turn to a psychologist.

You have long been trying to figure out the problem. To no avail, look for a way out of a complex position, trying to accept at least some solution. If you share it with your friend, most likely will he answer you? The most common advice in this case is just let go! But what does this mean? How to let go of the situation and do not think about it, if you can't stop doing this for months? Not so, it's just how it may seem from the side.

What situations are we talking about? For example, you have long been without a relationship, and you can't find a partner. Or, on the contrary, you broke up, but you can't leave the relationship in the past. Can't find good job. Restore a good relationship after a quarrel, although many times tried to do it. In general, any situation that lasts long enough causes you a feeling of fatigue from her, does not sleep at night. But it does not work it.

Why is this happening?

How do such situations arise? It is clear that if you do not sleep at night, constantly think about what happened, the Council "let go" does not make sense. So, the problem has such a high significance for you that simply stop thinking about it is not able.

It is first of all to deal with the meaning that it concludes for you. And to lower the significance of this sense or to limit it at all. Then the decision of the issue will definitely be found.

You looped at one or more levels. At the level of thoughts about the situation, the search for its permission. At the level of feelings that were worried or worried about this. And on the subconscious level. That is, at the level of those feelings that you forbid yourself to realize and live, for a number of reasons. You deny them, drive into the depths of your subconscious.

But they do not disappear anywhere. So the human psyche is arranged. They affect you - your mood, your decisions and actions. Staying, I will remind you, outside the "visibility zone." A huge number of people come so with insults, angrily, aggression. They are taught, and not to live them.

As a result, you think I forgave the man who betrayed you. And in fact, the offense continues to nibble you from the inside. You return to thoughts about the traitor again and again, without understanding why this happens. Because you are still offended. Because, in order to fully forgive and live on, you need to survive this offense.

And these underwater stones lying on the bottom, you can have a lot. Some of them live in you for a long time, from early childhood. Someone is offended by mom, shortly. Someone did not survive and can not survive the loss, the death of a loved one.

Do you know what your compatibility with a man?

To find out this - click on the button just below.

If you think this is not connected with what is happening in your life today - you are mistaken. Affects, and the mechanism of this effect is described slightly higher. It is difficult to deal with such ancient problems, and they need to be able to find. If you feel that you can't figure it out - find a good psychologist, he owns knowledge and techniques to work with problems of this kind.

What prevents us from letting go?

You realized the root of the problem. And even understood how to act to resolve it. But nothing happens anyway. How so? Very simple. In addition to the reasons for the launch of the locking mechanisms on situations (or person, or feeling), which are described above, there are still reasons supporting you in this state for a long time. No matter how uncomfortable. Let's talk a little about them.

Fears

And nevertheless, let the situation still did not work out (otherwise why are you reading all this?). Then what's the point of talking about anesthetic tablet when amputation is required?

Act from the opposite

Try a reverse technology. For example, you can't forget your loved one and suffer very much about this. I suggest you, in full, suffer as it should. You can not live without it, right?

Take a vacation at your own expense. I think three days will be enough. Close up at home, turn off the phone, Internet, dispel all links with the outside world. No telek or music. Focus on suffering. Cry, ride on the floor, River the hair, please feel yourself. In general, killing as it should.

Clear only for sleep. Even there is not necessarily. You can not be distracted for anything, only tears and sorrow. But without external stimuli. No joint photos, "your songs" - only you and your head.

Look at how long you defier. How soon you will want to spit and run to the girlfriend. Or look a serial. Or ... well, it does not matter. I do not mock and not kidding. Any loss is a blow to the psyche, and it is accompanied by spiritual pain and appropriate experiences. But not three years old? ..

You can view this technique as an allegory. That is, not perceive literally. And simply make a conclusion. What will have such behavior show you (well, if you do all this seriously)? It will show you that you overestimate the significance of the situation. What do you have other needs, and some, such as the need for food, are much less illusory than the desire to be together with a person who deceived you two years ago.

In a nutshell, if you want to stop winding yourself and let go of a certain situation that has long been tormented by you, you need to do the following. Find and aware of the reasons why you can not let go of this situation. And lower the significance of its meaning for you. Further the release process to start by itself. In principle, it is in full swing, but the moments described above simply slowly slow down. Observe them - and everything will turn out.

If you want to be with your beloved man - you need to figure out whether you are compatible with the sign of the zodiac?

Find out accurate compatibility with a man - clicking on the button just below.

A person is constantly experiencing some situations. If questions about how to survive a pleasant situation does not arise, then difficulties sometimes occur in the release of negative events. Sometimes a person is difficult to forget about something, or bother ..

To let go, you need to keep it! If you do not keep your bag in your hands, then it falls, remains on the place where you left it. If you do not hold something, then it is not near. This is if you argue sober and pragmatic. Just do not hold on to the situation that you can't let go to leave it in the past.

However, to say much easier than done. And here you need to deal with how to let go, but with what your situation is holding you. So, what keeps you in the situation you want to forget? It can be:

Resenting, fears, feelings of guilt, anger, shame and other emotions.
Important people who continue to stay for you meaningful and authoritative, even after chapping.
Slept desires and expectations that you lay on the situation under consideration.

Something from this can keep you in the past that you do not let go. Thus, to let go, you should simply say goodbye to meaningful people or find a different way to communicate with them, let go of the emotions that you experience to the situation to accept the unfulfilled hopes and desires.

There is a parable about how two monks met a girl who could not pass through the stream. One monk took her on his hands and moved to the other coast. When everything happened and both monks went further, the second monk said to the first: "How did you make yourself touched upon the girl?" What the first monk answered: "It all happened, everything remained in the past. Why do you still carry this girl in your head? "

While the person himself does not want to stop remembering the past, his thoughts will be chaotic and think about what may be unpleasant.

How to let go of the situation?

If a person is worried about how to let go of the situation, most likely, he is trying to forget that he is unpleasant. A person will hardly try to forget about something good. Moreover, the troubles happen to everyone, and each person there will have a certain situation that he would have not remembered with pleasure.

As mentioned above, the situation that may have happened last week, last month or year, even a few years ago, will hold a person, because there is something important for him in it: led feelings or pride, significant people with Which he did not want to part, unfulfilled desires or the opportunities he could take advantage to achieve his happy life. In other words, this situation is something significant for a person, and he cannot let her go, despite the fact that she could happen to him many years ago.

Some do not believe that you can forget something. Psychologists say that situations do not remain in the past, but constantly worry people, because they do not decide. The situation needs to be solved, and here there are several ways:

Complete with what happened. Some events cannot be changed, turn back, repeat. You need to just accept them and no longer worry because they arose.
Change your attitude to the situation. This is the principle of positive thinking. If you can't change something, then try to see something good in a situation for yourself. For example, in a divorce with your loved one, see getting invaluable experience, as it can happen for which reasons and how to avoid it next time. For example, if you lose money, you can see the ability to change your behavior so that it never happens again. The troubles happen to everyone, but to not repeat them, follow a certain lesson for themselves, which is a positive point.
Solve the situation. Not all situations are insoluble. To let them go, you just need to solve the questions that remain. For example, to solve the problem of a quarrel with children, you need to reconcile with them. Or to solve the problem of dismissal, you need to get a new job.

There are a lot of situations. Only a psychologist, to whom a person comes specifically with his problem, with which he will not be able to cope. And in general, many situations are released by the considered methods.

If you return to the reasons, because of which a person cannot let go of the situation, then the following psychologist tips can be given here:

If you keep emotions raised by an unpleasant situation, then you should get rid of them. You need to distract yourself with something more interesting and significant than the situation you can't let go. It may be new love, new work or travel. Psychologists advise in this way to get rid of emotions: to saturate every day with new events that will call you new emotions and exhibit the previous ones. In other words, continue to live fully, so that new impressions and emotions outpace previous experiences.

Also, emotions will save the readiness of a person to forgive former friends or themselves in the fact that someone offended someone. Often, it is precious to hold a man in what happened to him many years ago. Resently cause anger, aggression or, on the contrary, the feeling of guilt and shame. Man accuses either others or himself. It does not allow him to let go of the past. Therefore, we learn to forgive to let go.

If you are kept significant people with whom you do not want to part, then you need to recover with them and find a different way to keep a relationship with them, or come to compete with what you never see and communicate with them. Either make up, or accept the third option.
If you keep dreams and expectations that you wanted to implement in a specific situation, then you can either come up with failure here, or disassemble committed mistakes and try to try success again, but already on another algorithm of action. The person must remember: if they repeat the same actions again, which have already been committed and led to a negative result, the failure will be reached again. If you want to change something in a situation, then you should first understand your own errors, after which it is not repeated, without changing the algorithm of actions that should lead to success. Otherwise, come accepted with what happened, and do not suffer because of your choice.

A person often keeps the situations that have long happened to him. Why does he need it? Psychologists argue that a person always keeps behind those situations that matter for him. And if there is a desire to let them go, then you can use the following algorithm:

First distract from the situation. While she worries you, infuriates, makes you suffer and experience other emotions, you can't do anything reasonable. So that emotions have not pushed you to commit unpleasant actions, better give yourself time to cool. To be distracted by the solution of other tasks and problems that are always available in an adult. Decide other problems that are also waiting for your attention.
Then, when you emotionally calm down, you can turn your attention to the situation that does not let you go. It should be understood that such a special in this situation, which is why it causes a stormy emotion and does not let go. Sometimes people remember what they did on emotions, and not about what the problem at first arose, which caused these emotions. First, people indignant or excuses something, after which they begin to make stupidity. And to let go of the situation, you need to realize what problem arose in it, and not remember who and what did and speak.
It does not hurt yourself to put on the places of those people in which you are offended. It often seems that we are justified offended, they say, other people behaved incorrectly. And if you put yourself on their places, it may find out that a person would lead himself exactly as they. If you put yourself in place of your "enemy" and understand what they would have done in the same way as he did, then it would be easier for you to forgive him and even understand his motives.
Forgive your offenders. Do this at least for the sake of yourself. You forgive the offenders to let go of the situation and not remember the bad. You are doing this for your own calmness, and not to launch their misses.

Allow other people to be as they are. They their words and actions were offended or insulted. But you do not pay attention to it. You already do not communicate with them, and they let them pay for the mistakes perfect. You do not keep anyone for your part.

How to let go of a situation and a person from thoughts and hearts?

Sometimes the complexity of the release of the situation is that the person is forced to part with someone forever. It is difficult to do if some feelings are preserved in relation to another person. However, if it became necessary to let go of a partner from thoughts and hearts, then all efforts should be made.

Forgive man for gone from you. If it was not your initiative, then forgiveness will be the most correct way to let go of a person. Do not be offended and not angry. Let a person himself decide what to do, and carry responsibility for this.
Snove. If you are outraged, then let yourself be. Do not accumulate emotions. Give yourself a couple of days to be brought to another person, and then lay down with his departure.
See a person in real light. Often, people idealize each other, and then they can not let go, because no one wants to part with the ideal partners. However, ideals do not exist. Just people do not see the shortcomings of those partners who cannot forget. Get involved in seeing your departed partner in real light, such as it is, with all its advantages and disadvantages, achieved actions and achieved goals, and not those promises that he created the illusion of his excellent image.
Work on your future. First, be sure that you can live happily without another person. Secondly, start dreaming about the future, where there is no other person there and where you are happy. Thirdly, start realizing your goals. Want to live happily, then start acting with full confidence that you will reach your own.
Stop remembering pleasant minutes. It should be understood that pleasant moments you had with all the people with whom you had at least some relationship. The one who you can not forget is not the only person who was able to make you happy. Better not remember that it's good that he did for you to not be idealize it, or if you remember, then remember the events that have happened with other people to understand what you were made by happy many people, and not the only one.

Learn to relax, calmly treat your loneliness and remove all items that remind you of a former partner. You do not idealize anyone, and therefore calmly let him go to the past.

How to let go of the situation in relationships in the end?

If you can not let go of the situation in the relationship, then use the following tips:

Accept the fact that happened if nothing can be changed.
Mix if the relationship can still be resumed. Before doing this, realize your mistakes that you have been committed, and do not repeat them more or correct the problem.
Say goodbye to people if the relationship with them is better to break than to save. Be initiated unpleasant situation for yourself, understanding all the benefits of this decision personally for yourself.

Events are given to a person in order for him to know himself and made certain lessons.

Let go. When do you need to do? How to do it? I have a problem. She bothers me greatly. I undertake certain actions, but the problem is not solved.

Let go. When do you need to do? How to do it?

I have a problem. She bothers me greatly. I undertake certain actions, but the problem is not solved.

I continue to fight, but nothing changes. I feel sadness, anger, irritation, despair. I constantly think about my problem or about a person and his problems and I can not think of how to solve these problems.

I undertake certain actions again and I understand that everything became even worse. It would be better if I didn't do that.

And here they tell me: let go.

Yes, how can I let go when this problem takes all my thoughts, all my feelings, all my strength and all my time! If I am obsessed with this problem!

Everyone says you need to let go, but no one says how to do it. And what needs to be released? Worrying me a problem?

Man who creates problems to me?

Or my concern itself?

To begin with, I looked into the dictionary:Dictionary: let go - provide freedom; allow you to retire; stop holding; provide the opportunity to move; weaken, make more free; Forgive (in the expression "let go of sin").

What is "release"?

Release is the ability to retreat a couple of steps away from the situation that creates problems to me, or a person whose problems are worried.

When I am in the very epicenter of a difficult situation, it is difficult for me to appreciate what is happening.

This state was remarkably described Yesenin."You didn't know that I was in a solid smoke, in the raving buzzi of the life from that and I suffer that I would not understand - where the rock events carries us. Face to face does not see. Large seemingly over the distance. When the sea smooth is boiling - the ship in the deplorable state. "

Let go - it means try to look at the complex situation, a complex problem from the side.

Let me go out - this means slightly increase the distance between me and disturbing me the problem, between me and the person I worry about. Increase the distance to look at all this at a different angle, as if from the side.

The world is similar to a big chorus, where every person has its own party. Suppose I fulfill my party soprano, and next to me a tenor sings and he fears terribly, and he always fake, at every concert. And I repeatedly told him about it.

What can I do in this situation?

Start fake with him, adjusting to him?

To knock his score on the head and slope: "Stop fake!"? Stop the concert and apologize to the public?

With annoyance, throw your score and take offered from the scene?

To tell the tenor: "Let's call you, and I will sing instead of you?" Or "let's wipe you, and I will perform both of our parties at the same time?".

Or order him to stop singing, and if he does not stop, start bullying him, say that I wise a conductor on him?

After all, it is ridiculous and stupid, isn't it? Somehow childish?

But we do so often in life.

The only thing I can do in this situation is to remove it.

Say yourself: "All I can, it continues to fulfill my party. I can't remake this person, I can't remake the whole world. " This means to let go.

But why is it so difficult to let go?

Why is it so hard to even increase this distance?

Because we are painful Pathologically tied to people or problems. Under affection, I do not mean normal feelings when we sympathize with people, sympathize with their problems or feel part of the family, kind, team, countries. Painful, pathological attachment is such a state when we become superchained, super-respect, as if looped.

When our consciousness is painfully obsessed with thoughts about someone or something, it is impossible to focus on something else, on some other problems or people, will focus on himself, his thoughts, his feelings, his life.

All thoughts are constantly spinning only around a single problem or one-sole person and his problems.

The whole world is narrowed to the sizes of only this problem or only this person.

We become tied to a person or the problem of mentally, mentally, mentally, emotionally, psychologically, even physically.

We focus all kinds of energy in humans and problems. And we start missing energy in order to live your own life, solve your own problems. We begin to feel constant fatigue, branched, irritation.

We are as charging for a cell phone: the phone has long charged, the inscription "Battery is charged, disconnect the charger to save electricity. But we do not turn off everything, we continue to be connected, and continue to charge and charge, although nothing is already charged and our energy is not needed. We continue to give energy.

We cannot disconnect, we cannot let go. Our attachment becomes unhealthy, painful.

Painful affection can take different forms.

Consider some of them:

1) mental attachment: we constantly think about a person or about the problem, our attention is all the time this problem is obsessed;

"I think only about it and I can not think about anything else."

2) mental attachment (for example, affection by fear): "If I do not do what he wants, he will be in rage";

"If I do in my own way, it will have a heart attack again";

"If I do not do this, they will no longer respect me";

3) automatic reaction: we act unconsciously, we react to something or somehow automatically, without thinking, almost at the level of reflex, without understanding that we feel and think

"She brought me out of himself, so I broke down";

"He forever brings me to the tears";

"I am infuriated when they make comments to me."

And we begin to react excessively, any trifle is able to call us a storm of emotions. At the same time, we do not understand what caused us such a storm of emotions.

4) Emotional attachment:

we can become emotionally addicted to people around us.

"I am sad when she is sad";

"I'm angry when he is angry";

5) Psychological affection: we can become rescuers, accomplices, that is, people who are constantly caring for others, tie themselves to their needs

"Did you take an umbrella?";

"You called to work, what are you late?";

"I already wrote you to the doctor";

"You must take this medicine";

"I made you sandwiches for work, do not forget to eat"

6) There is a mental attachment: "I can't get out of depression, I have been crying all the time, I drink antidepressants - she got married and threw me, his mother, and I gave her all my life. Now the husband is more important to her mother! "

7) And even physical!"My mother jumped pressure on the day of our wedding and she was not present at our wedding, the next day she was taken to the hospital. Now I constantly have to live with my mother, and then she feels good. As soon as I move to my wife, my mother immediately becomes bad. It lasts a year. Wife wants to divorce with me. What should I do?!"

When we cannot pass off or let go, we fall into painful attachment, we become obsessed. Obsession of a different human being or a problem is a terrible state.

Have you ever seen someone who obsessed someone or something?

Recall the character from Roman Bulgakov "Master and Margarita" Poet Ivan Homeless. After meeting with Woland, he became obsessed with the idea of \u200b\u200bcatching Voland and his whole gang.

But all his attempts end in nothing, and in the end, he finds himself in a psychiatric hospital with a diagnosis of schizophrenia.

But if he had not been obsessed, he could reason himself and could understand that it was impossible to catch a person to catch an unclear force.

Or remember man who just fell in love. He cannot talk about anything other than the subject of his love. And even if he sits silently, and, as you think, he listens to you, he is far from his thoughts. In the head, it is constantly spinning the image of his beloved or beloved, what he said, what did, as laughed, as looked, and so on.

Or remember a man who covers jealousy.

He rushes in his pockets, browsing mail, browsing messages in the phone, looking for traces of treason. And what, this can give some result?

Even if he detects something and satisfies the scandal, then his partner will start to hide traces of betrayal since this moment.

When such people ask what they feel, they say that the other person feels.

When such people ask what they do, they talk about what the other person does.

The whole focus of their attention on someone or something, but not only. They cannot say that they feel and think, because they do not know it.

Their focus is not aimed at himself.

She does not call, but by this time she usually called. Where is she now? He does not answer the call on the phone, but would have to.

Why doesn't he come to the phone? Usually she comes home at 7, and now 8. What happened to her?

You do not know that; You do not know why: you do not know when; But you know exactly: something bad is something terrible - already happened, it happens at the moment or is about to happen. Anxiety - this is what causes obsession, painful attachment, supervolutions and super-sufficiency.

Fear usually covers us for a short time, but anxiety hangs in the air constantly.It covers and paralyzes consciousness, we begin to infinitely scroll through the same useless thoughts.

It is very difficult to cope with obsession with obsessive thoughts and anxiety. It is impossible to sit in place in place, relax.

We begin to seem that we urgently need to do something. But since our consciousness is paralyzed, we begin to make senseless and useless things.

Healthy, rational thoughts cease to come into mind.

We begin to fuss, constantly do something to thus reduce the feeling of anxiety. If it is not at all possible to take yourself to take away from disturbing thoughts, you can chew a chewing gum, nibble nails, smoking continuously and perform other compulving actions.

We are worrying, fussy, all the time we do, keep under the scrutiny and constant control of other peopledee.

Suddenly they will do something not as needed?

Maybe we need to take something to change their behavior?

Why do we want to control so much?

In addition to the fact that controlling reduces a sense of anxiety, the source of the need to control others is also the fact that we all need love and security.

Perhaps, in childhood, we lacked love and security, and now we are trying to take the power of what we lack so much. We are trying to manage others to receive from them what we need - love and security.

If we control, it means that we cannot or do not know how to get from others what we need, in another way, or we are very afraid of losing what we have.

This means that we are very bad. It is terribly terribly, sore, sad, lonely.

On the other hand, very often, when we solve problems of other people, we mean that these others as a sign of gratitude will solve our problems.

We continue to remain small, weak, helpless children who do not want to solve their own problems.Also, we all have an unconscious desire to feel stronger than we really are. And this is also a source of desire to control others. Power over others gives a feeling of strength.

Perhaps we made a feeling of weakness and helpless from our childhood. And now we need to control others to feel more stronger. Control replaces us strength.

After all, in childhood, our adults and strong parents controlled us - small and weak. Perhaps we lived for a long time only for others, we lived only their lives, and we did not have any own life.

Now, to reduce the feeling of anxiety, we must remain tied to them. We know that we are still alive if we have anyone to worry about, and there is someone to control. If we lose the object of our obsession, then we are becoming not to live for what, emptiness is formed in our lives.

As a result, we are tightened to the vicious circle: obsession - anxiety - control.

The more I start to control, the more obsessed I begin to think about the problem or a person who control.

Than I become, the stronger I start to worry.

The stronger I worry, the more I start to control the most.

The situation comes out of control, it delays me in this vicious circle, in the pool.

The feeling appears that it is immersed at the bottom of the deep well. As soon as we become tied with anxiety and anxiety to someone or something, so immediately we are removed from ourselves.

We lose touch with you. We stop thinking, feeling, acting and take care of yourself. We are no longer interesting to yourself. We lose control of themselves and their lives.

Therefore, release is something that we need to be made first of all in order to start working on yourself, to live your own life, experience your own feelings and solve your own problems.

How to let go of obsession with painful thoughts, anxiety and desire to control?

How to focus on yourself, your life, on solving your problems?

Ideally release - it means to distance themselves with love from problem or person. We are discontinued mentally, emotionally, and sometimes even physically.

Let me let it makes life to go through, allow people to act in their ways.

We believe that every person is responsible for himself that we cannot solve those problems that are not ours. We allow people to be those who they are. We allow people to be as they came to this world. We allow them to be responsible for themselves.

To let go, first need to determine whether the problem is what I worry about my?

Various options are possible here:

1) the problem is mine

2) the problem is yours

3) the problem is our common

4) There are no problems at all

If our problem is, we are trying to determine what we can do in this situation and try to do it. But if we cannot do something or understand that our efforts do not lead to anything that our efforts are meaningless, we let go of this situation. We strive to find out whose problem, and what we can change, and what we can not change. We do something we can do to solve the problem.

If we cannot solve the problem, but did everything that could, it means that we are learning to live with a problem or despite the problem.

I will give an example from my own experience. My husband gets up when I'm already leaving for a job. And once I get up early in the morning, I go to the kitchen to put the kettle and suddenly I see a dirty Turk on the plate with dried yesterday's coffee.

I'm all boiling and think: "Well, nothing! I'll tell you everything in the evening! "

And then I stop and start a dialogue with myself: "Are you going to drink coffee now? Not. I always drink tea in the morning.

Do you need a Turk for this? Not.

And the husband, he always drinks coffee in the morning? Yes.

So, he will rise, go to boil coffee, will see that the turk is dirty, and will wash it. You don't care when he fences her, yesterday or today? "

And here I understand that this is a problem - not mine! And I let go of the situation.

Recall the example with the tenor that I led in the first part. What can I do in this situation?

I can say a tenor: "It seems to me that we are with you in different tonalities. I admit honestly, it interferes with me to sing, and it annoys me great. Would we somehow solve this question? "

If he agrees, we work with it to solve the problem. If it does not agree, I do not have anything else, how to continue trying to fulfill your party as well.

I can ask the conductor to put me in some other place, next to another tenor.

And that's it.

And I do not become a hostile person, I do not stop talking with him, I'm not angry with him, I do not discuss him with my colleagues for his back, I do not give up to his account.This means "let go with love."

Release includes reality and recognition of facts. This requires faith - in yourself, in other people, in the natural order of things in this world.

We believe that fate has prepared some tests for us, and some for other people. And that everyone must pass their tests and make their own conclusions. Even out of errors.

Release does not mean that we do not care.

It means that we learn to love, take care, join relationships with other people without failure to go crazy, become obsessed and controlling people and their behavior.

We stop worrying about others, and they begin to worry about themselves. Each of us is engaged in their own life.

Until now, we lived for other people, for other people, instead of other people. And did not do anything for themselves.

And our loved ones thought that we had no interests that we were enough to live their lives.

Now that we are starting to live your own life, our loved ones discover that we have something else, some kind of own life. They are becoming interesting. If they were not interested in us, now they are starting to be interested in our problems, our needs, our interests, our lives.

Start asking questions: What are you doing? Where have you been? Can I help you? What are you thinking about? What are you reading? You meet? Etc.

As soon as we become interested in yourself, you immediately become interesting to other people. When should we let go?

When we can not stop thinking about someone or something, talking about someone or something, worry about someone or something; When we cannot stop controlling someone or something; When we think we are not able to live more with this problem.

Here is a good rule: We need to start letting the greatest extent when it seems to us that this is the least possible.

To let go, you need to take the first step, recognize the truth that I became obsessedthat I lost control of myself over my own life that I have a problem that I can not let go that I am powerless before this problem that I constantly obsessed about this problem or about this person and his problems that I Obsessed not only by thoughts, but also anxiety that I am trying to control.

Including you need to admit that I need love, security, support and care that I miss it, and what I try to get it, controlling other people. What I need a feeling of strength, and therefore I'm trying to control. Honesty is very important here. Honesty in front of me and in front of others.

No matter how terrible is the truth about me and my behavior, the knowledge of the truth about yourself makes me free. Free to change your life for the better, get out of slavery obsession, anxiety and control.

Make this first step, to recognize the truth about yourself, you can on free, open groups of psychological mutual assistance, which work under the program 12 steps.

Here's how the first step of the program sounds 12 steps:

"We recognized our powerlessness before the problem, recognized that we lost control of ourselves."

In order to start letting the situation, a problem or a person, you must first recognize that I have such a situation in which I do not quite control myself, I am obsessed and I cannot think about anything else. We arrive at the group, we tell about what keeps us in captivity of obsession.

We pronounce the problem, and it becomes easier for us. Before our eyes, the fog is scattered, and we begin to see clearly our situation and our problems. On the other hand, on the group we are listening to the history of other people, we learn how they released their obsession, adopt their experience. We also understand that this is not only our unique problem.

There are such problems with other people.

In the process of release it is very important to remember a few moments:

1) We do not throw the problem or person. We let go of a problem or a person, believing that everything in this world develops in their laws that we do not power.

The movement of electrons by orbits, the structure of molecules, the location of genes in DNA, the movement of the planets around the Sun, the location of the galaxies in the Universe - everything obeys certain laws that we cannot affect the forces.

Perhaps the fate of each person is subordinated to certain laws over which we are not domineering?

Why do we believe that in a position to influence the life and fate of other people?

Why do we believe that you are able to solve any problems? Are we gods? Have we created this universe and its laws?

Even if we were not, life would continue to go as a woman in their laws. Example. Once I was seriously ill. I could not walk, sit, sleep, eat, drink.

I even had a monstrously hurt. But at the same time, I continued to think about my family: everything goes to Kuwark, everything collapses without me, everyone will walk hungry, dirty, torn off. But it turned out that this is not.

Life continued to go to her man without me: The products were bought, the food was preparing, the laundry was erased, buttons were sewn, lessons were made.

And suddenly I realized that I would die now, nothing would have changed, no one would die. They would have grown, perhaps. And they continued to live further. But I imagined myself indispensable, almost God! I was sure that life would stop without me.

2) Release is a process. It instantly does not happen.

We fell into this state either not instantly, we gradually sucking this process of obsession, anxiety, control, gradually worsening our state. Also gradually we leave it. Sometimes we can not let go, remove it immediately, sharply. It is hard for us and hurt. Then we do it gradually, step by step.

Example. How I talked my son to go to school alone. To school was 10-15 minutes on foot. The problem was that on the way to school it was necessary to move two alley without transitions and traffic lights with a very lively movement. Of course, at first I drove my son to school myself.

Then we agreed with him that he would go himself, and I will go behind it at a distance of about 20 meters and watch it goes.

In the end, I was convinced that he knows how to do it himself, calmed down, and he began to go to school on his own.

I let go not only and not so much a son, I let my desire to control my son And his alarm that he will do everything wrong that he will fall under the car. In fact, I did not let go of it, I let go my inner state of obsession, anxiety and control.

3) It is not worth it to be released immediately with the most difficult problems, for example, try to let go of complex family problems.

To begin with, it is possible to practice let go in trifles.

As in the example of a dirty Turku with dried coffee, which I already led. In our life, there will always be a little things on which you can practice: not cleaned toys thrown onto the floor socks, not made lessons, dirty cup, etc.

4) Release is a difficult process, it does not happen instantly.

At first it can scare.

I must be ready for this. If I'm not ready to let go, I feel it hurts that I will begin to dive into depression that I will have a nervous breakdown, then I do not let go.

I ask myself myself, I can do it now or can not. If I can't, then I do not do this. It is also very important honesty in front of himself and in front of another person. If I tell a person that I will no longer climb into his case, but I continue to do it, then I only worsen the situation.

Better not to lie yourself and say that I can't do it yet, I can't let go. Someday I will do it yes.

Many people did it before me, and they turned out, and I will succeed, but not now. Now I can't. And continue to live with this problem, believing that in the future I will definitely have the forces to make me to make this step, I could let go.

Example. When the son became an adult, I realized that he was time for him on his own, and we went out. It was so harsh release that I fell into depression.

In two months I became very bad, and I went to the psychiatrist.

He wrote me antidepressants, and I even took them during the week.

And suddenly I asked myself: "Why are you drinking these pills? What are you trying to drown out with these pills? What do you want to think about? What do you want to work on? "

I stopped taking antidepressants and began to slowly go out of depression. I went out of depression for four months.

5) When I start to let go, I have to share it with others. It is impossible to release alone, it is very difficult psychologically.

I must have a "group support", the people who understand me, which I can honestly talk about my problems. In this process, 12-step groups have great help.

When I start to let go, I start changing my behavior, I start to behave in a new way, I can be very painful, very hard psychologically. Having come for a group and simply told about what I worry about, because of what I was disturbing, sharing with other people, I feel easier in the process of vacation.

I tell about my release process, about my feelings and my thoughts to someone else, other people, and it helps me behave in a healthy way, because other people see my situation on the part, and they can tell me when I do what "It's wrong steps, I don't have to the other side, I don't see something."

I recognize how other people do it, and it helps me. They can also support me, telling me that I do everything right. Get me when it's hard, bad and hurts, say that everything will work out. They can help me.

6) When I start to let go, I have to say about this surrounding, my loved ones.

Because they may not understand what happens why I changed so much why my behavior changed so much.

My new behavior may begin to scare them, it can become a shock for them. After all, I begin to behave new, unusual for them.

7) It is important to remember that at the first moment the situation may even worsen at first glance.

Because, firstly, I will experience heavy emotional problems due to what I do differently, not as before, unusual for myself. And another person, he can also become bad at first.

I was all the time for another person as if the crutch, to which he used to rely, I am always there, I take all his problems, and he is practically not responsible for his life.

He is accustomed that his problems always solves someone else.

And then suddenly it turns out that now he will be responsible for his life, which suddenly takes the crutch. At the first moment, he can fall because he is not used to take responsibility, he is not used to doing something he himself. There is a feeling that everything has become even worse, and to this you have to be prepared.

Understanding that later, after some time, the situation will begin to improve. Everything will return to the correct condition, which is the condition that should be.

It is like in the case of influenza or ac. The temperature rises, the body is lying, the headache is very much. I want to drink a tablet to knock down the temperature.

But the doctor does not advise to shoot down the temperature, you need to endure. The body struggles and produces immunity.

At first, it is bad, but then the temperature will fall as herself, and the body will begin to recover faster.

Why, at the beginning, when we let go and change your behavior, it gets so hard?

Because it is very difficult to abandon the usual way of behavior. We are so arranged, we get used to everything, adapt, even to the bad, so our psyche is arranged.

Therefore, even bad, but the usual, for us more comfortable, than new and good, but unusual.

This property of our psyche helps us survive in the most difficult conditions. Otherwise, our psyche could not withstand.

But this property of our psyche prevents us when we need to change something in life.

In ordinary life, this, for example, manifests itself in the fact that the new fashion is first shocking and seems ugly. For example, kerching pants or crap.

But after a while we get used to, and after some time the new fashion begins to seem not only attractive to us, but even beautiful and comfortable.

8) Release includes "the ability to live in a real moment" - live here and now.

How often I am thoughts in the future: "When I have an interesting job ...".

And sometimes in the past: "Ah, if I didn't do it then, then ...!"

In fact, I live either in the past or in the future.

And I do nothing in the present.

The release process requires that I focus on this moment, on what is happening now.

9) How else can I help myself in the process of vacation?

How to help yourself soberly think?

I can remember some similar situations from the past, which I tried to control, but I could not do anything, but that in the end then somehow resolved without my intervention.

I can remember them and support himself by what I had it when I tried to climb not into my affairs, and nothing happened, and then everything was decided without me.

Maybe this will happen this time?

10) It must be remembered that in a state of obsession, anxiety and control thinking becomes "tunnel". I see only bothering me with a problem and see nothing else around. All my life concentrates around this problem.

To help yourself soberly think, I can make a list of all the best that is in my life now, In addition to this, disturbing problems.

I have a lot of good in life. But for some reason I do not pay attention to it. Food, work, health, roof over your head, relatives and friends, friends.

In other people, maybe even this is not?

What is more in my life: good or bad?

11) I can put on one scale of the scales all the good things that I have in my life, but to another what I obsessed about. And ask yourself, is I ready to donate to all that good that I have, for the sake of solving this problem?

Is this problem or this person and his problems in order to sacrifice everything for them?If you have any questions about this topic, ask them to specialists and readers of our project

How to let go of the situation? This is a matter of exciting individuals who experienced a vital difficulty situation and wish to find her decision as soon as possible. Not every individual understands the importance of letting go. Some individuals believe - it is impossible in the root, she will chase them constantly. But the hope of an individual remains, and he is learned to find an answer, how to let go of the situation, how to start living anew, and stop worrying about sore? If the identity often thinks over this, then she should collect his volitional efforts and release the exciting situation forever.

A person seeking to understand how to learn to let go of the situation must initially analyze his problem. It is necessary to concentrate on it and disassemble it into parts, to think about it, which is concretely disturbing:, non-invalidation, covered feelings (, insult).

A person trying to understand how to let go of the situation, should know: it doesn't matter what limitation is this situation, year, month or a couple of days, if it does not leave alone, it means it makes sense for a person. A person living last events will not be able to quietly continue to live and build the future.

To let go of the situation, you should think well and then decide what can be done now with this problem, which is capable of giving the result right now. The main thing is not to inactive, because so the situation will delay, and it will be even harder to let it go.

To let go of the situation, you should get courage and make everything you need, which will help let the discrepancing feeling, if a man was afraid before the right moment, did not want to say or act as correctly. You can let the problem can be released when a person will venture to do everything you need for it.

Sometimes, to let the problem situation, you need to distract from it. You should think about why, because of the current situation, the personality cannot experience personal happiness, live free life, really life is so united that there is nothing to do, besides how to reproach yourself.

It should not be assumed that it will be better to live, solely with the achievement of a specific goal or if a certain person will be a number. The thought is that it is impossible to be happy without it will not give a person to grow personally and develop further, the more, negative thoughts only stroke a person. It is necessary to believe that everything is formed to the best, because the time passes, and all the feelings are smoothed with him, the anger is going, the insults seem not so serious.

To change the life, correct errors, release the situation should be in a raised good mood, because a person tries to change everything for the better, and means a positive result. Optimism is not an indicator of a man's frivolity, as some think, it allows him to be solid in intentions, forces, and it means well to understand its main goal and task.

Many are unable to let go of the situation, they live it, they feed on those sensations that they experience, scrolling each time certain moments in the head. These people are dependent on external factors, so unable to let go of their situation and find its decision.

Of course, the problem situation can coherent, so it should be allowed to become happy. To do this, it is worthwhile to forgive yourself the failures and past mistakes, let them go. It is necessary to realize that errors or actions brought experience. It is necessary to let go of the past and start living again, relying on the foundation of past mistakes, let the light and fill it with your life.

How to let go of the situation - Psychology

During the clarification of relations, people become very emotional, strong feelings are covered with their heads, and people are no longer clarified, but everyone proves their right thing, do not hear the interlocutor and often proven thoughts that appear in the head that individuals themselves do not give a report. So problems are born that are becoming more significant than the initial.

How to learn to let go of the situation and stop thinking all the time about the situation at a certain time to refresh the thoughts. The longer thinking and "reproach" the situation, the more complex and confusing it will seem to appear. Remembering various details, a person will increasingly become evil or sad. It will aggravate the situation, and definitely will not help let it go and fix it.

When they subside, people realize that they uttered a lot of extra. Therefore, it is better to initially try to prevent this moment. This requires a strong self-control and attentiveness to feel when the situation begins to heat up and stop in time.

Following how a little abstract from the problem situation, which I want to let go, you need to look at it in a new way. A good way will be playing the situation in the mind, from the observer, to analyze their own words and emotions well, and the words of the second party.

To let go conflict, it is required to understand the interlocutor, which he was guided when he behaved hostile. Perhaps he then had the personal problems that he was worried, so he was angry and poured all his negative on you. He could even be tired, sick or anxious, so it is not worth his evil statements or actions to immediately perceive themselves.

How to let go of the situation and do not think about it in this case? You should imagine yourself standing on the site of the interlocutor. It can be assumed that he is also hard and he is experiencing, because he himself did not assume that the situation would take a similar outcome.

In how to let go of the situation and start living next to no offense, it is very often helping forgiveness. If it is difficult to immediately talk to a person, you can mentally imagine how to apologize. It is necessary to submit it so bright that he is now before his eyes. It does not matter who first started a quarrel, and if a person worries the situation that happened and he wants to let her go, it means that certain steps should be taken. It is worthwhile to cause the most sincere feelings, to apologize from the heart, to say that he also forgives and does not hold evil and resentment.

It is necessary to do this until the feeling of lightness and freedom will overtake, it should bring relaxation and calm. When it turns out to achieve this state, it will be possible to let go of the situation.

This method helps to let go of the situation, contributes to the resumption of relations after the conflict and exemption from negative feelings. After the "test" absentee forgiveness, you should dare to meet or talk on the phone, try typing a conversation, ask for forgiveness already "live." It is necessary to make it necessary to finally release the situation.

How to let go of the situation - the advice of a psychologist:

It is necessary to abandon erroneous beliefs. Many of their own actions spoil their personal life. Do not hold on to the old principles and beliefs that interfere with adequately contact with people and fear to let them go.

People so much in principles that make critical errors because of them, parted with their loved ones. It is worth a confess to yourself that no one else is to blame. If everyone indicates an individual that it is impossible to be as principled in the relationship, then you need to be less categorical. It is required to admit that they made a mistake and release the beliefs and categorical principles, it is easier, then the world will change.

How to let go of the situation and a person from the heart and thoughts

If a person experiences for quite a long time through the situation, through man's departure, it means he has complexes, he is indecisive, has too, experiencing a sense of guilt and resentment.

To let go of the situation, you need to get rid of these qualities and afford a happy life.

What does it mean to let go of the situation and let go of a person? It is necessary to understand that it means to live, it means to live, without memories of a person, thank for the new experience, put a point if nothing good "sticks out." We must learn to live anew, fully. It is necessary to work out his own feelings, and not just humble the doomed and live on with gloomy thoughts.

Negative experiences that have accumulated inside, due to parting, should find a way out, so the first thing is to let them go - to pay, do it once, but it is very thorough, so much so that it felt emptying inside and no longer wanted to cry when memories of these experiences.

How to release the situation in a relationship with a man? It is required to consciously appreciate how these relationships proceeded, throw their "pink glasses", look at these relationships under a different angle. Of course, every woman wants the relationship with a man the most ideal, but some kind of breeding, quarrels and misunderstandings still occur. Therefore, it is worth remembering these unpleasant times, not to idealize the "former", as the only and best.

If a woman is worried about the question of how to let go of the situation in relations with a man, you can use one psychotherapeutic method. All disturbing thoughts and exciting emotions should be expressed by writing a letter. Allow yourself a free stream of thoughts, it is necessary to express what it was stupid. This technique contributes to the fact that the personality pulls out all the hidden feelings that do not give rest do not allow to experience joy. In this way, she can release all emotions, and no one will be offended.

It is necessary to contact a specific personality, write that I want to express, without thinking well or badly, it is not to hide, do not hide. That's just send it undesirable, because it will not bring anything good, here the meaning of the method in another. After writing the writing, it needs to be destroyed, break, burn or throw away, and release exciting thoughts with him.

To let go of a person, it is worth removing all reminiscent items about it (things, gifts), so that they do not cry, remembering the lost moments. It is necessary to discard regrets. If it was previously needed to worry about a partner, less time to pay for their needs, now you can become more egocentric, think more about yourself, personal needs that neither have the opportunity to realize sometime. Find new foundations for joy. This will help let go of the situation, drive your sad and negative thoughts away.

In order not to feel, it is worth enlishing the support of friends, they will find the necessary words, it is only worth listening to them.

Forget the past will help to understand what, it is necessary to organize your future, to dream, even without a particular person, it will definitely be.

Almost every individual experienced a feeling of unrequited love. To make it easier to let go of a person from thoughts, you need to realize that since he threw off the proposal of love, then pride should be to be constantly imposed on him, and again worry a rejection, because of which even more upset every time. It is required to develop self-esteem. If a person found out about the feelings, but did not answer them immediately, then the neutral position should be taken. It is necessary to release the expectations so that they accidentally faced the reality, which is quite different, rather than a person represents. It is important to be a bit a philosopher, think that there is one time for everything, also reflecting that it is impossible for one person to belong to another, if you do not have mutual feelings for him.

In order to release the situation in the relationship, it is not necessary to idealize the chief, because he, like all people, has drawbacks, therefore it is worth it to objectively and focus on them. Over time, it will begin to seem that it is not so he is good, which seemed at the beginning. It is necessary to stop with it all contacts and connections, the smaller something will remind him of him, the faster it will be released.

A person's psyche has a property to recreate pleasant memories of life, which can give a person a good condition, exemption from the malice and resentment, accumulated negative for life years, which allows him to rest sincerely. This condition resembles the state of meditation, which immerses the individual in the relaxation, gives an equilibrium and serenity, what is very necessary for everyone, especially when a person has problems and intends to let them go, leaving peace in his soul.

To be a healthy, strong, more balanced person, will be able to let go of the situation, you need to regularly immerse yourself in such a relaxed state. Disconnect the body from all the everyday bustle, problems and conflicts, release all the accumulated bad and disturbing, thoughts about the unworthy man.

Almost everyone often forgets about himself while worried about others. Thus, they are controlled by erroneous stereotypes that almost always disagree with internal rhythms. It is worth worrying about yourself, personal health and follow the contribution to those surrounding bring into your life, then if they do not carry sincere joy with happiness, then it is better to let go of their hearts.

How to let go of the situation in relationships

In life there are various situations in the relationship that you need to forget. For example, if the partner betrayed or changed and does not go out to forgive this person, then it should be forgotten and released. Is it really not enough in relation to this to become his punishment?

To make it easier to let go of the situation in relationships, the existing facts should be taken into account, all that has previously happened and happens. For example, you said goodbye to a partner, even if without scandals, and a little later, start thinking about how badly it is bad, but he himself does not think to return, then the conclusion suggests itself - let me go and live on, not filling out on it.

One day, a man begins to think again, remember him, but if such thoughts leave, then the individual will see that it is still possible to live without him. You should give yourself a clear installation to release the situation, do not remember your former. The focus on the past may interfere with the creation of a happy family, in building new plans. The earlier a person understands it, the faster he will be able to create a new life.

Many individuals are considered correct that after breaking the relationship it is worth getting rid of feelings, but they are even more tightened again in this love. It is necessary to allow yourself these feelings for a while, but to allocate time for them, do not cry constantly, but to do as always, with their urgent things, but at the appointed time to pay, get out. Thus, a person learns self-control.

If he firmly knows that it allows himself to remember a person at the prescribed time, it will annoy it over time. Throughout the day, he is engaged in affairs, respectively, can not disappear on extraneous thoughts, and in the evening, after all the cases at home he wants to psychologically relax, and not grief. Since there is better without you nearby, then you will become a happy man without him.

When a person tries to resolve the problem, tries various options, but he can't do it, then it is best to let go of the situation, i.e. To put it on a self-shot, let it be resolved by itself. It often happens that while the individual does not fuss, he smoothes feelings, and he forgets his disturbing thoughts. Therefore, time is considered the best doctor. It should be stopped controlling the situation and observe the actual situation.

After reaching the essence, appreciating the situation, it is possible to reveal the relationship and make it clear - these failed relationships did not have. If it would happen otherwise, then they would end in different ways, it is logical. So, it means, it is easily released by letting the situation.

If independently does not go out to let go of the situation, then you should enlist the support of the psychologist, who will help solve topical problems and difficulties, will teach how to cope with them.

The loving individual is not only alone alone, will not limit anyone himself and customize his behavior under its framework of beliefs. Since no one should have anything to anyone, even if I first gave a promise to love forever. Just one person gave the importance to these promises, and the other thanked them, but was not going to stick. It is not worth clinging for a person, and for not converging with the course of your life, as it is fraught with big problems, it is better to let him go. It is necessary to learn how to keep balance, because everything flows and changes.

Let me go out the situation does not give fear, it is also worth getting rid of it. It is necessary to take the truth and be grateful for it. Let me release with appreciation for the experience gained in the relationship, which was accompanied by tears and laughter, which helped internally grow. To forget the painful memory, it is necessary to accept that there is now what was, to realize their capabilities. It is necessary to find the forces to take all the vital changes, believe intuition and evaluate the achievements. Any experience is invaluable, just realizing this can be continued by your confident successful way.

When problems appear - it is always checking. This is a peculiar test for readiness for life changes and risk. If the situation changes, you should not be afraid of this, and take steps back, you should go exclusively forward. Since life moves towards forward, and you need to let go of the old one.

Asking how to release the situation in the relationship, it is necessary to say that it is necessary to stop for them to cling, and live by your future. When a person succeeds in forget about the past, then in the shower where there was a significant relationship earlier, an emptiness is formed, and not to feel so much so much, it is necessary to fill it with communication. To make new acquaintances, reunite with former friends and with relatives, and, closing from the rest, a person will feel unhappy.

Hello, help with advice, lived together for 4 years, after 3.5 years made a beautiful offer from friends at the wedding, then a friend went to earn money in another city and only his wife remained here. My MCH very often went to her, as they always talked very well, I sometimes went with him, everything was fine, but then on his birthday everyone drank a lot and I found them for a kiss. There was a big scandal, kicked out of the house with things, he came, asked for forgiveness, said that he would never do anymore, the fool, faded himself, he did not know what was found on him. Previously, I always trusted him and he didn't even give him reasons to jealous, was happy that I finally found a decent man. I cried very much, there were hystericals straight, it was very disappointing that he betrayed me, he saw it all. Lost a friend who went to earnings, this one with his wife decided not to divorce. And we are all at the sneaky, now we are not seen, because he says he hurts to look into my eyes, hurts from what he caused me so much suffering, yesterday we broke up completely, because I sit and wait when he can't catch , not the fact that he will then decide to continue to be together. But I wrote to him that I forgive him. Why does he originate? Does it make sense to hope that we can all be warm up, I'm sure I want to be with him, but I can not say anything for him, unfortunately, he says he does not know anything himself, and now he is granted only a sense of guilt. He did not want to part, said that if fate, then we will be together, asked to give time.

Hello Irina. It is possible that your man rethought what happened and for a sober head he would not do it. From the outside he estimated the whole pain that you caused and considers himself not worthy to be with you. He is so easier. Until he forgive himself, reunification will not happen.

Good evening. After reading everything and I decided to write. This situation. I have family. He also has. We work in the same industry, but we live in different cities. He is 12 years old. Everything was usually, work and everything. And suddenly, butterflies fired me inside me. I want this man insanely. For almost a year every day I think about him. In touch, we are in principle 24 hours a day, but only for work. And so I decided to hint to him that I didn't work with him because of the business, but in order for it for some time. He pretended to do not understand, although in my eyes there were tears. He has a principle that if he works with someone, neither. In networks, he will repost my photos to my page. My photos are more than all the rest together. And how can I understand this? I'm not going to be kept in his family, I just madly want not the fact that Intima, just warm gentle words. What to do? Thanks in advance for the answer.

Good evening. Can you please tell whether it is possible to make a girl after such a conflict, in short, it was so - met with a girl for 4 years, she all hinted me to do to her, and I was silent and silent, I said to be cheated, please all started together To live, and then she recently says to me that you can spend the type with my mother, I need to think, I ok well, I spent everything went to the mother. Everything went to work in the morning, I worked for a day, and in the evening I took it from work from work, and then she wrote me to me for me, I don't have to come, I will come. In the evening she writes to me to take things, we dismiss everything with you, I decided not to change my decision in all night and I say her forgive me. Let's just start first, she is no, well, everyone asked, he pleaded in anything else , gone. After two days, I bought her ring, flowers to her and the mother-in-law and wanted to make suggestions, but it was not at home. I was driving from work on the bus, well, I did not think that I went to the mother-in-law and all the mother-in-law gave flowers, he talked from the mother-in-law, like me to be with my girlfriend, I will forgive me or not. The mother-in-law says Valere, I'll talk to her, do not worry, I okay everything began to hope later I wrote a mother-in-law, she won't want and crying all my very first guy was, and maybe I will (((then my girl calls back says come come to me with you, I came okay, I talked, I give her a ring ranks and say it's not going for me, she crys hard not to go and everything, then I still persuaded her, so that she wore a ring all I'm on her The hand got dressed and left, then she calls me and says I give me a month if I feel bad without you we will go away, but if not, then we all say goodbye, I'm fine well. It goes for two days I went to the store where she works I knew that she rests on this day, and everything came to the store and there she saw me, she came to her girls, I saw me again spun all and left. Tell me to wait for me a positive answer or everything is already tuned to parting ((thanks in advance for answer

Good evening, Valery. Your girl herself does not understand what happens to her or understands, but does not want to voice the problem. We recommend to leave it in your thoughts, do not disturb, but if there is a desire to resume relationships - in two months you can "randomly" to meet it, to ask her life. One month is not enough, but two months will be enough for the girl to figure it out in his feelings and whether she wants to be with you. But again, you can raise this topic again, inviting previously on a date, where to create a romantic situation, thereby putting the beginning of a new courting for her. Within two months, do not call, and not write to her - let "be cooked" in their experiences on their own. Show coldness. This will allow her to miss you. Women do not always appreciate who persistently "runs". You can respond to SMS (restrained, politely without specifics), but do not write first.

Hello. My situation, in my opinion, not very serious, but does not let go. When I was 16 years old met with a guy older than me, well, I met anything more, parted on his initiative, met another, and our relationships were at a distance. It makes no sense, but there was a passion). They did not see each other, the guy with this girl got married.
Lived happily. After a while we had to meet, a common company. I am with my current husband, common friends and they. I calmly treated them as one whole, but the behavior of the girl surprised me. She ignored me if I photographed, so that I was not in the photo, well, and everything in such a kind. Time passed they gave birth. A year later, I have a wedding, pregnancy and the attitude of this girl is changing. She invites you to all friends and us in the number. Surprisingly communicated normally for a while, but once being at breaking it to me, I could not and imagine that one of the former girls her husband will sit in front of her ... I was turned over at that moment. For me, her words sounded differently - she saw his former in me all this time. Having confident about it began to disappear. Then I began to notice that she began to imitate me, in choosing clothes, in the photo poses repeating mine, and the attitude towards me became "from the high". And now I am 25, I was afraid for a long time to interrupt this chat with them, but I understood that for me there is nothing good. Even remembering our hiking to them, I persuaded myself to go and doubted. Getting rid of the beginning gradually, and provocations from her side pushed, first from the social network, deleted because it began to annoy. Then we stopped meeting. I think I began to hate her, apparently it is a resentment for her words and actions, far from everything I described here. Perhaps she did not intentionally did it, but still not nice. I want to express what I think about her, but I don't want to find out the relationship. Now for some reason I think about it all the time, I'm tired, but I still think, I understand that everything is enough, but no thoughts leave. Though he removed from social networks, I wanted to get rid of, and in the end I myself am watching their lives and began to compare yourself with her, I want them to disappear forever from my life, and I understand that everything is in my head. It seems to me that before she hated me and compared herself with me, and now on the contrary. In general, here.

Hello. I read all the above stories .. But I have another. There were three and a half years with a married man. Relationships were one-sided - he had a good family, he was a lover in his youth to walk very much. He is 53 years old, he is as much. They met for intima, but I drew "love" in my pink glasses, which was not from His side and in risen. Several times already swear-matured. Always he returned, she was affectionate, but after two or three months he again became cruel and sharp. It was necessary that he was quite secured, but very greedy. I needed to always stroke him, as they say on the wool, because that my any disagreement immediately led to the scandal. According to his words, I scandalled, although many times he was very rude. But he always returned and again the same "rake", and here's another parting. I didn't like himself , I told him, he sharply replied that he could not come at all and was not going to dance about me. According to nature, he is quite a cruel man. I have some kind of painful attachment that I want to break. And here we do not communicate for several days I want to stop all this, but I don't know how to make himself look really for the fact that he was married and he would fit with me only for the sake of intima, I myself came up with myself "Luboff". Tell me. A lot of articles on the topic, I really see that a person was Gulelen all his life, but an excellent family man. I just used it. And here it is to say to yourself that I don't need it, it's not necessary. And no longer I suffered greatly because it was already many times. But there is not enough communication. I also know him, I liked it, but most likely it was just a mask, because he is a walk in life, but by age and he now There is no desire to walk. He stopped, because it is beneficial from all sides. And this is how to configure yourself to the gap and disregard, I do not know. Tell me the pill))

Hello, tell me how to drown out pain.

Recently learned that my favorite person was lied to me, which does not communicate and not seen with the former, with which I forbade you to communicate.
And I learned that when we broke up, it was one time, he slept with the former.
I think this is treason, since he was in another city and we decided to resume relationships and it was at that moment he changed.
This truth got out inadvertently, the former herself said.
We love each other very much.
I forgive him, although it hurts very much. This cargo is that I was betrayed inside me ...
I trusted him more than anyone.
Of course he regretted what happened between them, he cried and just forgiveness ..
I tried to change the guilt, I did surprises.
I believe in his love, yes I myself love him more than life ..
His lies was connected only with his former.
So he never changed me and did not lie.
I was very jealous of him to the former, he was afraid of losing me, I was afraid to tell the truth, because when I found out that they once walked in the company and there was former, I beat him, broke his phone and much more ...
Sometimes the emotions take the top. I am very jealous.
But after all this I'm afraid I won't be able to trust him anymore .. I hurts that he betrayed me ...
How to start trust again? How to let go of the pain? How to guy behave? please tell me

Hello. I can not let go of the situation associated with the work. For a long time worked in one place. I went to the decret. I really wanted to change the place of work, there were reasons for such a solution - and s / n average, and the team during my decree has changed, and personal resentments were small there. And to the universe made the senders, and the map of desires was - worked! They proposed work with good prospects and salary. From the old work it is necessary to dismiss. Two days I worked and panicked. It was necessary to delay at work, I was not ready for this - I was not ready for not seeing my daughter for so long. Although she has already walked in the garden. I found myself a bunch of excuse and reasons, and refused this work. I went to the old one. And now I am very sorry for this. Naturally, there is no way back to a new job. The company is serious, with his security service, was checked at the device to work in all sectors. How to let this situation? I come back every day that day and make a decision in favor of the new job. I understand that I eat myself from the inside. I persecute myself that everything that is done is all for the better for me. Straight cats on the soul scraper.

Hello Svetlana. We must forgive yourself and take the situation as it is. The past will not return, so it makes no sense to return mentally to the fact that it worries your soul. The chance was good, but he is not the last in your life. The child will grow up and you can with a "light heart" you can pay time for the search for new work and building a career. In fact, the fact that you put in priority to upbringing your daughter, the opportunity to see how it grows is very good, because it's not to spend time with your baby at all - it is unacceptable. Family and children are the main goal for which a person should spend all his strength.

Good day. I am 45 years old. female. The strongest depression. At first, my mother got sick and I was so worried that the Cardia Ahalazia received from the nerves, I chose and did not eat, because food went out with vomiting. Made an operation. Then the son eared school, prepared for admission to medical. I was on unbearable nerves. The son entered. I broke down with depression. There was no strength to work, did not take the phone tube, could not sleep and eat, lay the cluster of Iv se time crying ... I didn't want to see anyone. Anxiety began. I thought: he did, but suddenly he would not pull her studies there. The mental pain did not leave me. I started drinking Silpin (when I was diagnosed with Ahalasia Cardia) I was appointed Sulpin. At first he helped me. 1 tab 50 mg. In the morning. Assigned to drink all life. But I became a little better. I stopped drinking it. Propying two years. Five more years passed .. it was forces to work, listen to music (if I listen to music, then some of the songs all the day he drove in my mind. I could not get out of it). He was seriously ill mother. I kept. Saw again surpine 50 mg. in the morning. Thank God Mama became easier, well, but I really became bad and plus it became very strong to quarrel with his son. Rather he is with me. I am always in bad condition. He began to say: which is disgusting for me to look, I am not well-groomed, not combined, not painted. I can't make myself go outside, take your hand and talk to someone. Just do not want. And I still began to kill that the son would soon marry and go out of the house. I have no more relatives, except son and parents. I began to be afraid of old age and loneliness. These thoughts do not give me peace. I feel very bad. I want to get away from these thoughts. Be in the mood. there is. Cook. Wash the floors (I do not do it now. I can not. No strength) For three days I don't want to eat at all. It began to drink phenibut (0.5) in the morning. I drink a week, but anxiety, no one goes unnecessarily. Doctor help me. I don't want to go to the doctor, they simply do not have them in Volgograd worthy. Or I'm afraid I will put me in the hospital. And the son doesn't forgive me at all. Please help me. What pills to me drink? My height is 167 cm. Weight 78 kg. Gastritis.

Milan, hello, how are you doing? Did you go to the doctor? You can call a psychologist to begin with, but I must do something. We are with you!

Hello Milan I really understand you. I myself am in a state of some hell. I can not sleep anything pleases apathy. Weakness from lack of sleep and lethargy. There is no performance and all because of the nervous stress which lasted three months and the concentration in chronic. Do not despair. Try to overcome yourself. I also drank tablets but they only remove the symptoms and do not treat. And now the pills are not saved by Pyl Fenazep and Grandax. It was better to feel after prayers, but faith in me is little because I suffer. The main thing to believe that everything will be fine and it will be so.

And for me, the article teaches being passive. If a person left you, then there is often your fault in it, and here it is offered to inflate how the mouse is on the cereal, and no, not to discuss, do not try to adjust, and standing in the pit to dig it deeper with your loved one for some nonsense and pseudogordness instead of clarifying the situation and self-critical to evaluate, stand up in Posa 2ah, you are with me, gold, so, then I am so ", an eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth, like in 1m class.

Hello! I have such a story. My name is a .... I am 30 years old. Briefly about myself, I do not drink, I do not smoke, I love sports, a positive person, was married, student love (they were familiar with 2006, and in marriage from 2011 to 2013, they lived at my parents, they were saved to their apartment, but she was bothering her My father's boot and she put me in front of the choice: "Either she or my parents." I didn't go for her - as a result, the divorce (February 2014), there are no children. It was not very good, because the love of this woman passed. Life continues He began to get acquainted with other girls, communicated, met. October 11, 2014 my father dies (he was not easy, military, drank a lot, there were no relationship with him ...). And on November 22, 2014, Random met the girl M .. She was 26, sat with a friend in coffee and were going to leave, but I decided to rinse in WC, and then the girl approaches us and says: "Can I go to you?" We answered - "Yes, of course." I'm coming back with WC, and I suggest her go to the movies, she says he has already walked, then I asked the phone and she me him yes la.
The next day I called her and offered to go skating. Well, everything twisted, spinning: cinema, cafe. And with some conversation, she says that she has a birthday on October 31, 1988, (this day was born my father 1962), and I thought it was a sign from above.
She has its own apartment, the first sex with her is very fast (and it alerted it, it all happened very quickly, but everything went like). About my marriage, I did not say her, she did not ask. I spent the new year together, I introduced it to my mother, she didn't get acquainted with her yet, just said that a young man appeared. For April 2015 planned a trip to Dubai. In the middle of March, sat dinner, and she asked me about the past, I answered her that was married. She immediately psychunula, began to cry. It was on Sunday, spent and we broke up for three days. On Wednesday, I decided to go to work and waited for her not far from work, and then SMS comes, she suggested me to meet. We sat in coffee, she was cold, sat in Facebooke, said that if I hadn't like to be with me, I would not sit here. That evening we talked and told about our former (she said that she had three men, I was not married, I have one, the previous wife ... Yes, I am a man, one woman) as a result of the relationship. The trip to Dubai took place, everything went fine. I gave her gifts, flowers, without reason. I just wanted to make a person the happiest in the world, there was no gifts from her. Intima was regularly, I gave her pleasure, descended down, she was not, he said that he had never done it, but I didn't insist, I just got such a person as it is, and I loved her very much and she told me that he loved me. Then she went on a business trip to work in MSK, I came there, everything was fine. Then a trip to St. Petersburg. Everything was fine, said that I love each other!
In June 2015, we buy a Dalmatian dog, who was 1 month, he becomes for us as a child. We care, do and grow it. Walk and rejoice in life.
In November 2015 I buy a car, a joint choice, I chose a long time, she said that you don't want a car, it was nervous (I certainly copied to the apartment, but since she lived with her and everything went well, so I bought a car ... Dear, bought purely for My money, she never took a penny at all). Eat in Europe with a dog to her sister.
In December 2015, we are going to Italy, Mountains, Venice ... Ehhh ... It's just hard to remember it all, just rejoiced life.
In February 2016, a conversation took place, why I do not make it a sentence (and I was already ready to do it, but she has no patience, everything needs and immediately), and in the same evening I buy her ringlet, silver (she loves silver), flowers And I make a sentence, she agrees! We speak parents - all happy happy, did not speak about the day of the wedding.
The month passes, and she says that she does not like the ring, she wants wedding. As a result, I buy her wedding, but not immediately.
In May 2016, she changes the work and goes into a more prestigious, but in the previous work she needs to pay the debt, the N-th amount of money and half a year we live on my sn, we buy plumbing tiles for repairs in her apartment, all for their money, we think about Children, about the future. Invented the name for the child, I wanted a girl. I have no projects in a new job for four months, it was hard for her and here they offer a trip to Kazakhstan (6 weeks there, 2 weeks of the house, throughout the year), we talked, she really wanted to go, she is interested in this work, we will communicate Every day Viber, Skype. On November 7, she left in Atyrau, I went with the dog from the apartment and started repair.
There she began another life, new colleagues, friends, in the evening hiking in a cafe, try Kazakh cuisine. I did not like it, but she said that all here are terrible and no one needs it, everything will be fine with us. She sent flowers to Atyrau, she said that the happiest in the world.
I believe in God (she is not), went to church, prayed that everything was fine so that no one had got up before us. In December, before NG we spent a wonderful week in Astrakhan, but three days before departure, the dog ate my passport, although he could eat anything, shoes, clothes, but he ate just a passport and I needed to quickly restore it, I managed This is done, and it was the first bell, which I did not pay attention.
Under the New Year she came home. I paid the whole amount of old work and she did not have debts.
New Year with parents, all is well. January 7 leaves again in Atyrau for 6 weeks, planned a wedding on September 9th. Thought about travel, children, about the future of our family. And here it began simply signs ... I had a dream, as if we were in the same class with her, but she kisses someone a boy, then she's away and he says: "Let's get faster, I'm still with a ... (with me) Walking "(then I just found out that when I dreamed of this dream, she began to meet with him).
Then in one day, she did not write to me during the day, said that there was no money on the phone, and in the evening I was so bad. The heart was pounding that I called myself an ambulance, although before that I had never called for 30 years (as it turned out, on this day she met this person). Very feeling this person. There were other signs ...
On February 17, she arrives from the next business trip, (for the first time in life I did not bought her a bouquet of flowers, just did not buy) and feel it changed. In the evening of the same day, she says that she starts to forget me, I ask her who appeared who, she says that no one. We decide to play a wedding now, to strengthen feelings, buy rings, dress, suit.
February 24 Wedding, only parents. They were happy together, on her face smile, on my smile, the parents are happy.
February 25, in the morning I open a passport, and in my passport a blank stamp. There is a stamp, and her surname is not inscribed. And I ran it to inscribe it.
On March 6, she leaves again in Atyrau and we agreed to meet in Almaty on March 19, mini wedding journey.
On March 19, I arrive, she arrives from Atyrau in Almaty, and I see that a person is completely different, and I find out what she had another, and she fell in love with him, as ever in life, they had sex. (And he has already left Atyrau and there will be no more there) I'm shocked, I flew to my wife for 4000 km, and she is me. And in panic I say that she is ready to forgive, and she says that he wants to try with him, I like 2 years of such a life, and she wants to try like candy. And he writes in parallel. So that she walked her family for his sake. They talked calmly, did not beat, did not call. I pick my dog \u200b\u200bto speak myself, and she even her eye, although he loved him very much. I left the next day. And after two days it flew to her from his city L ... And on April 14 she was back home.
Month of her silence, nothing at all. Communicating only with her parents, very good relations with them, that with the mother-in-law, that with the test
April 14 decided to meet her at the airport, and see first glance after such a parting. And saw. What did you come, I wanted to offer in the evening to meet. I took her to my parents. In the evening we met. He says he is very sorry, asks her to forgive that she did it. And this person has the first marriage (there is a child) did not take place, there is a second child (not planned) and he wants to restore this family, my wife does not promise anything. She says that she is not sure about him, does not trust, does not understand. And I'm confident in me, trusts, knows that I will be a good father. When it wants to stay with me with me, but still wants to risk everyone, put a cross on your life and try with him, and he says she to stay with me right. The result is divided. And if she comes back to me, then only on his knees. I let go, let it do what he wants, although he really hurts on the soul, tears everything inside.
The next day, at 15:00 he sends SMS that he wants to make the right choice, he broke up with him, and wants me to help her with it to cope, she wants to make the right choice. I come to her, I say yesterday broke up, and today ... that I am a person, not a stone ... As a result - together. We go pick up a dog from my mom, and we go to her apartment.
We are trying to establish relationships a week, but I see that she is cold to me, so the kiss no one. I did not have sex, I asked her to pass the tests.
She walked the second week, I see that at all in no way comes to contact. On April 29, I will spend on her phone, and she is rewrittening with him, I collect things, I need to forget his time. Talked and she told me to leave that no longer can hurt me. And the fact that she returned (for the pain they caused me), I have to say thanks to her parents who pressed it. On the question tell me in the face that you do not love me, she says loves, but not as I am. I take a dog, and she does not even want to hug, do not say goodbye to him. I'm leaving ...
Before the departure, I suggested to meet, but she visited the psychologist, she became easier, he says that I let go, I let go, do not hold her, and finally, she says, so that I would not know her parents, it could be happening different . It's guilty, I am damageing to them nerves. Like this
Something like that. It hurts me, the soul is torn to pieces, because I feel sincere feelings for this person. I understand that there is no shoe to return, it is necessary to rejoice that it happened now, and when there were children, but damn people ... it's just a tin what I have inside ... If you can help something, I will be grateful, thanks.

A .., I now understand that everything in my life is wonderful, except for financial well-being of course. Since all gaps are mainly due to this. You did honestly, and on male it should say that the problem of the absence of honor and dignity has been solved in your life. But you are hard to forget everything, since you have invested a lot. Trust, love, care. I want to say that only staying day after day you can forget it. It will take a lot of time. Do not try to do it even immediately.

A ... - Hello!. I, too, suffered strongly to breathtomasses, I made health problems. Approached to all and to everything, studied the problem, tried to save himself. In general, in 2 words - not solve the problem. I'm still alive in the end, now I look at it and I understand that in vain silent. I can answer any question from this area. Infa I have from all directions - psychology, psychiatry, time, tips, analysis ... you want to say - that a person worried about parting is a good person, what happened - do not blame yourself. So happened - you did not come up. It is impossible to predict everything and foresee. You must live 100%, only forward! Ugly and whining is not for men. Women candid nods are not needed !! They need steep guys, i.e. Strong body, spirit, and wallet. Handsome men are not at all necessary. The fact that your tragedy is a fact. But you are alive, did not drink, yes - the beloved person went. Everything was and no longer. Your health is more important. Life has become another. You have received invaluable experience, lesson, you are wounded. But only ahead. Look for people to sell their problems, go to psychologists, psychiatrists, to friends-friends, in the agencies of dating - options mass, to parents. Time will be very much. I have enough conversations with a psychologist for 2 ... 3 weeks of calmness - and so for a very long time. I understood one thing - weak, sad, risky, depressed, without money, without housing, without a car, without work, without perspective - you are not a candidate for a new successful acquaintance and love. Save your health - the past is not reciprocated. Women are beautiful - and you will find your happiness. I would have given advice for a week. Salvation depends on you. Power in you.