Student pre-bard song. Has the student "anthem" changed? Saw a skin infection - see the root

Brothers, I'm a student of KSMI, My last pants are soaked, My robe is in my suitcase, A stethoscope is always in my pocket, We'll take our head on occasion. The head is not needed in medicine, It's all, friends, in penicillin, Lei, brother, as much as possible Intramuscularly, subcutaneously, In musculus gluteus and per os. Here I go in the morning to the wards, Pro ...

Vaginal spasm, microbiome and auscultation

Have you met with vaginismus? Have you heard of the microbiome? Is there always auscultation or is it possible to “score”? Vaginismus after rape Violence against women has serious consequences. What should a doctor do? Third attempt. He does not reduce his legs. But the entrance to the vagina is so spasmodic that without undue effort ...

Childbirth with antenatal fetal death

I would like to discuss the problem of providing care to patients with antenatal fetal death. Often they are the ones who cause the most difficulties, problems, and after being discharged from the hospital they actively try to find and punish those responsible, including by filing lawsuits, which is especially important now. According to our ...

Demonstrative suicide, official and vaccine

How not to kill yourself? Why did Arsenina come under fire? How is HPV vaccine complicated? Kill yourself, but call an ambulance. Just a little bit and that's it. How to guess what time the ambulance will arrive so as not to have time to die? And if there are traffic jams? “... a woman's voice:“ Who do you want? ”. They answer: “How whom? This is you an ambulance in ...

Hyaluronic acid

Medicine in India: past and present. Indian pharmacies

Our column "Memories on Saturdays" continues its excursion to different parts of the world. Let's take a look at India today. We are very glad that our colleagues from this
wonderful fairyland, at least from time to time please us with their experience, innocent stories, some kind of exoticism. First we will tell

All in vain

Sometimes it seems that the surgeon is working against the decision of the Higher Forces, and then gets paid for it.
Tonight. In the evening they brought an 82-year-old granny. At 16 - a radical operation for breast cancer, at 18 - resection of the small intestine for leiomyosarcoma, at 19 - cancer was verified

Saw a skin infection - see the root

Without a doubt, no doctor, no matter what specialty he belongs to, will consider any organ or part of the body as something isolated. A radical cure for psoriasis (and many other diseases) has not yet been invented, and maybe someone else continues to gloss over skin problems ...

Skin transplant for baldness? Nothing complicated

What kind of things do people not put to their heads, drink and eat, trying to get their hair back, what hardships and suffering are they not ready to go to in order to regain their presentable appearance?
What if all these methods are not successful? All that remains is a skin transplant, but even this is not difficult for our colleagues.

Conservative treatment of osteoarthritis

Who has experience with ACP SVF therapy? Who extracts the stromal-vascular fraction how? How many is centrifuged? Does anyone have the results of observations? Where can I get acquainted in detail with the method of therapy for the stromal-vascular fraction of adipose tissue in the treatment of gonarthrosis?

Old age in the media, she's happy

Seeing older people on the Internet / TV is mostly pleasant - they are exceptionally beautiful and safe people. Recently I came across a video with a woman Anya, who helps the whole yard with her indomitable 70+ energy.
Baba Anna
“I have no fat, I am not suffocating. I go to the fifth floor, through a step

The SKGMI team, which for the past three years opposed the acting. rector Yuri Razorenov, introduced a new leader. On Friday, by the order of the Ministry of Education and Science of the Russian Federation, a personnel worker of education and the state atomic energy corporation Rosatom, Doctor of Technical Sciences, Professor Yuri Dmitrak was appointed to the position of Acting Officer.

To restore its former prestige to the forge of technical personnel - one of the oldest engineering universities in the North Caucasus - is not an easy task. The long-term struggle between Razorenov's team and the teaching staff gave rise to skepticism and distrust among the latter, because it would be much easier for the team to find a common language with someone close to the university.

Olga Gassieva, a teacher at SKGMI, commented, “It's hard for me to judge. We don't know a person at all. And therefore it is premature to say anything. Time will show. Of course, the whole team wanted to see a graduate of SKGMI in this position, a person for whom this university is native. But, apparently, the opinion of the team in this matter was not taken into account in any way. "

So the post of the head of SKGMI after three years of dramatic events is quite a responsible step. Thus, Yuri Dmitrak will have to not only get to know the team and find the weak and strong points of the most worthy university, but also arouse sympathy in the team, and most importantly, trust in himself and in his future management activities. With the arrival of a new rector, the SKGMI team needs to start working steadily and find strength to solve their problems.

Mikhail Bakutin, director of the Department of Civil Service and Personnel of the Ministry of Education of the Russian Federation, who introduced Yuri Dmitrak to the team, noted that he is not a new person in his specialty. After graduating from Moscow State Mining University in 1984 with a degree in mining mechanical engineer, until 2014 he worked his way up from assistant to rector. From 2014 to the present, he worked in the mining division of Rosatom, that is, he did not leave the profession for a single day. Has experience in the management of JSC VNIPIpromtechnologii. According to Bakutin, Yuri Dmitrak perfectly understands the specifics of the university environment, but the task is not easy. As a systemic person, he has a wealth of practical experience, was comprehensively involved in the field of education.

Having thanked the Ministry of Education and Science of the Russian Federation, as well as the leadership of North Ossetia for their confidence, Yuri Dmitrak noted that the main criterion of his tenure as rector he sees effective joint work with the staff on the development of the university.

Already on August 31, to discuss the problems that have arisen, Yuri Dmitrak plans to meet with the labor collective of the university.

The new leader has already announced the change in the vector in the development of the educational institution. According to him, for this, first of all, it is necessary to increase the volume of scientific research, which will allow attracting additional funding to the university.

This is a full-fledged scientific activity, not its imitation. Institutions that are limited exclusively to the provision of educational services for undergraduate and graduate programs have the right to claim only the status of a higher school (even with very high-quality educational services), but not a modern university. Therefore, it is vitally important for the NCSMI today to use mechanisms for financing scientific research.

Yuri Dmitrak has already made a statement that he is completely changing the team. The terms of office of the former vice-rectors have been terminated. The university does not doubt that there will be a complete change of them. It is already known that one of the North Ossetia-Alania Rustem Kelekhsaev and the Plenipotentiary Representative of the North Ossetia-Alania under the President of the Russian Federation Boris Dzhanaev.

In February 2017, the overwhelming majority of the academic council of the university, you carried a vote of no confidence, and in June, during the conference on the election of the rector, the previous head of the university, Yuri Razorenov, failed to gain the majority of the votes of the conference delegates. Thus, it was decided to change the rector of the oldest technical university in the North Caucasus.

The latest news from North Ossetia-Alania on the topic:
The new rector was presented to the GMI staff

The new rector was presented to the GMI staff- Vladikavkaz

The SKGMI team, which for the past three years opposed the acting. rector Yuri Razorenov, introduced a new leader.
16:21 29.08.2017 Word newspaper

09/13/2017 Vestiyuga.Ru And about. Rector of SKGMI Yuri Dmitrak held the first meeting of the Academic Council. The agenda included one question: "On the establishment of the size of the academic scholarship for full-time students at the expense of budgetary allocations."
09/12/2017 SKGMI (GTU) Vyacheslav Bitarov met with the appointed acting rector of the North Caucasus Mining and Metallurgical Institute Yuri Dmitrak.
06.09.2017 Vestiyuga.Ru

When I studied at the Moscow State Technical University in the 80s. Bauman, students often sang the unofficial "Hymn of MVTU" in companies. On the tune of the famous song by Alexander Gorodnitsky "Atlanta".

When you enter, weirdo at the Moscow Higher Technical School,
You yourself do not know that you will live in hell.
After all, the situation in the world is very tense -

The country needs rocket launchers.

And in the twentieth century, at the Moscow Higher Technical School,
Not gods - people accustomed to work,
They sit over the sopromat, pass the term.

Great guys in all faculties.

And in the summer we have to go east
Someone will bend there, just for a "piece".
There the daylight does not please, there is no time for sleep at night.

Mosquitoes disfigure us from morning to morning.

And in the fall we will return again to the Moscow Higher Technical School.
We will plunge into study, and again we are in hell.
And new offsets, and old tails ...

By all means, get out of it.

It will take weeks, semesters and years.
And the groups will thin out from hard work.
For us, brothers, to end this life as soon as possible.

Enough to bend for 45 rubles.

They will spend five and a half years in hard studies.
And only a skeleton will flutter in a shirt.
But this life is a devil, fate is given to us -
The country needs rocket launchers.
The country needs rocket launchers.

With thunderous applause, you will receive your diploma.
Now we are not students, dear comrade.
We are now engineers accustomed to work.
But we will keep MVTU in our hearts.

Among the Baumanians, the following decoding of the abbreviation MVTU was popular:
"The Grave Dug by the Labor of Scientists"
"I drank a little - it is difficult to study, I drank a lot - they will immediately be fired."
"Mom, come out Troyak, I'm dying."
"We'll Ditch You Here!"
"We will arrange for you here!"
"We'll All Die Here."
"Powerful you will enter, skinny you will leave."
"Only the Insane Can Survive."
"Your mother, Tubus was taken away."

Sometimes, at night, in the corridors of our hostels, a drunken choir sounded, singing the following verse to the tune of the song "Black Eyes":

The white tablecloth is covered with wine.
All students sleep soundly.
As long as one does not sleep - drinks champagne.
For the Bauman school.

I also remember a rhyme:

MVTU, our mighty university,
Stands on the Yauza stinking.

When Bauman students drank, the first toast was always to their native alma mater.
The guys stood up, stuck out the elbow of the hand holding the container with vodka. And, on exhalation, they said in chorus: "For the Bauman Moscow Higher Technical School ... KA-A-AK ZHAKHNEM !!!"

In MVTU, which was considered a men's university, few girls always studied. And, as a rule, they did not shine with their appearance.
There was a joke about this: "If a very beautiful student of the Moscow Higher Technical School walks past the old cannon that was on the Yauza embankment, near the main educational building, the cannon will shoot."

And there was also such an anecdote:

Baba Yaga and Vasilisa the Beautiful entered Moscow universities. And, having met in Moscow, we exchanged impressions.
Vasilisa the Beautiful:
- I entered Moscow State University. Although not the most beautiful there, but the most intelligent.
Baba Yaga:
- And I entered the Moscow Higher Technical School. Even if there is not the smartest, but the most beautiful.

However, all the girls in our university got married quickly enough. And, as a rule, for their own - the Baumans.

Baumanka trained engineers for the defense industry. And, during the Cold War, students loved to sing these "militaristic" songs:

Slowly rockets float away into the distance.
All rains are radioactive.
And although the opponents are a little sorry,
You don't expect to meet them anymore.

The gas mustard gas spreads like a tablecloth, a tablecloth.
And gets under the gas mask.

The fire fungus hangs, sways.
All living things hid in the sand.
Oh, why does my life end.
Eh, live at least another hour.

Cyanogen chloride spreads like a tablecloth, a tablecloth.
And climbs into my gas mask.
Everyone, everyone believes in the best.
A nuclear mine is rolling, rolling.

Maybe we offended someone in vain
A couple of hundred extra kilotons.
An ominous glow sways
Where the Pentagon once was.

After defending their diplomas, many people from Bauman joyfully performed the solemn ritual of throwing their drawing tubes into the murky waters of the Yauza River.

Unfortunately, in 1989, in the wake of the fashion for loud renaming, Baumanka lost its exclusive name "Moscow Higher Technical School" and became simply "Moscow State Technical University" - MSTU.

But we will keep MVTU in our hearts.

Currently, the university is holding meetings of the acting rector of SKGMI (GTU) Yu.V. Dmitrak with students of faculties.

Topical issues of interest to students and already voiced at the meetings were worked out by the First Vice-Rector - Vice-Rector for Strategic Development of the University Batraz Tsidaev.

Here are the answers of B.S. Tsidaev to questions from students.

Addition to an already asked question about modern software (Mouraov A.G.):

Question: On the territory of the GMI there is strange, dull, depressing and slightly unmotivating music. We offer to broadcast at least a playlist of radio "Europe +" or a playlist selected by students.

Answer (answers the head of the department for educational work Tauchelova R.I.) : Thank you very much for the offer to broadcast the Europe + radio playlist, but it would probably be better if the students themselves select these playlists, and let us have it on the air. Moreover, this proposal is already being discussed in your favorite group in vk "Life of SKGMI". To date, 190 comments with the proposed tracks have been left under this post, so the music you proposed will sound in the near future.

Question: At the entrance to the dining room, they smoke every day right at the entrance. Why aren't they fighting it?

Answer (Tauchelova R.I.): Dear smokers, we kindly ask you to familiarize yourself with the Law on the Prohibition of Smoking in Public Places in Russia. So, according to the law, smoking is prohibited (besides other public places):

1. Being on the territory of educational institutions, which include schools and institutions that issue diplomas of secondary and higher education.

2. You cannot smoke near sports and cultural establishments.

3. Students who indulge in smoking in the dorm may be evicted from their rooms. In some universities, violation of the law on smoking entails expulsion from the institute, especially if the misconduct was recorded several times, etc.

In addition, it is planned to hold a number of actions for the International Day of Smoking Cessation "Stop smoking" (November 16) and "World No Tobacco Day" (May 31).

Question:Good afternoon. I have a question about the Russian Student Spring. Last year, the collective of the SK GMI won in the dance direction at the interuniversity, and in order to go to the All-Russian student spring, the institute did not allocate money for us. How will it be this year?

Answer (Tauchelova R.I.): Dear students who defend the honor of SKGMI at the republican and All-Russian level, the new leadership of the university is inclined to support you in every possible way, and especially with regard to the positive image of our SKGMI. Repeat the result this year and we will definitely come back to this question. There is always one university in the heart, GMI - we will not win!

Question: Will there be interuniversity competitions not only in volleyball, but also in weightlifting and other sports?

Answer (Tauchelova R.I.): There are 29 sports sections in SKGMI (GTU). Monthly, in addition to volleyball, the Sports Training Center organizes competitions in various sports: basketball, tennis, chess, etc. On average, about 70-80 events per year. As for weightlifting competitions, the university does not hold them, but there is an annual open championship of SKGMI (GTU) in powerlifting (comprehensively) with the participation of the best athletes of the republic. Just the other day, 56 students' sports competitions in 12 kinds of sports have ended. Now we are going to prepare for the 57th Student Olympics, which will be held in October 2018.

Anyone wishing to engage in sports sections can contact the Sports Training Center.

Question: Why don't the employees of the educational work department work with those living in the dormitory?

Answer (Tauchelova R.I.): Dear student, most likely not living in the Campus and not knowing that the hostel has its own staff member - educator - Kozaeva A.A., and also not aware of the joint work of the educational work department, deans and deputy deans of faculties and management hostel. The work plan is structured in such a way that it affects almost all areas: civil-patriotic (for Victory Day, etc.), spiritual and moral (for Mother's Day, with representatives of the OMS of Russia, etc.) sports (competitions in volleyball, basketball, etc.) and cultural (April Fool's Day, etc.). Also, on the initiative of the OVR on the basis of the Campus, the KMD (Interethnic Friendship Club) has been tested, adaptation measures are being carried out with foreign students, a separate body of student self-government has been created, which is part of the Council of Students of SKGMI, etc.

Question:

Can students get a parking pass?

Answer:

The parking lot is reserved for employees. Student parking will be considered.

Question:

There are usually no seats in the dining room after the second pair.

Answer:

In order to organize order and increase traffic in the dining room, a watch will be organized from November 1.

Question:

Hello, has the system of coupons been preserved? Will food stamps be issued to those in need? Thanks.

Answer:

300 coupons are issued monthly to students from low-income families and large families in order to compensate for their food costs.

Question:

The question of water. Why is there no hot water in the pool, in the women's locker room? Have to swim in cold water. In early September, when it was hot, it was still possible to swim in the cold, but now not.

Answer:

Equipment for hot water supply will be purchased soon.

Question:

After writing an application for coupons, the institute allocates material assistance to us in the amount of 5600 rubles. We are obliged to return this amount to the institute, ostensibly by “buying back” the coupons, and we, who refused to do this, are denied in the future to accept the application for the coupons, writing them down to the list of debtors.

Answer:

To provide meals at SKGMI (GTU) according to the coupon system, low-income students, upon their personal application, are given material assistance.

Question:

When will the heating in the classrooms be turned on? Previously, there were "smoking rooms" on the territory of the GMI, will they be returned? After all, when they are returned, the toilets will not smell of tobacco.

Answer:

The heating season starts from October 15th. If the air temperature for 5 days remains below 8 degrees, then on the sixth day the heating is switched on (Government Decree 354 of 06.05.2011).

As for smokers, smoking tobacco in an educational institution is prohibited by Federal Law of 23.02.2013. No. 15-FZ.

Question:

Hello. At the moment, the canteen is open on average until 15:30. It turns out that a student, after 4 pairs, cannot go and eat. Is it possible to extend the working time?

About coupons. We used to have "legal" coupons. They were really legal by comparison. And the increase in portions in the dining room, by the way, is also of interest to the question. Thanks.

Answer:

For students living in the hostel, a buffet is open from 18.00 to 21.30. And the rest of the students dine at home.

Coupons are still issued legally. As for the increase in portions, portions are determined on the basis of a collection of recipes for public catering.

Question: Microsoft Visual Studio 2017, Adobe Products, Autodesk Products are not a complete list. All software installed on computers is either unlicensed or old.

Answer (Vice-Rector for Information Policy A.G. Mouraov): If we talk about the relevance of the software used in the educational process, then, indeed, a significant part of it was acquired a long time ago - this is 2010 (the main part of applied software), 2013 (individual products, including Microsoft Visual Studio Professional Edition 2013) and 2016 (the operating system and office were partially updated). As far as I understand, the question came from FIT students, therefore, more specifically, the cost of software development tools, applications for visualization and modeling is high, including within the framework of leasing schemes and even for academic versions. However, in order to solve the problems of the educational process, in the overwhelming majority of cases, it is not the latest versions of the software used that are required, since the already available versions allow to master the required knowledge and skills in development and optimization, analysis and modeling of processes at a sufficient level.

At the same time, plans for 2018 and subsequent years provide for a phased update of applied software for the educational process, taking into account the priority task of switching to Russian software products.

Now regarding the products Autodesk ... Since 2013 the company Autodesk offers 3 year free licenses for core products ( AutoCAD, AutoCAD Revit, 3D Studio MAX and others) for educational institutions. At the same time, students and teachers who independently registered on the company's Internet portal have the right to take advantage of this offer. Autodesk (https: // www. Autodesk. Com / education / home ). According to the license agreement, these software products can be installed both at workplaces (computers in classrooms, departments, etc.) and on home computers of students and teachers, and can be used exclusively for educational purposes. Therefore, the use of products Autodesk university legally and legally. As well as individual versions of Adobe products. And if you want to work with products Autodesk at home - go to the source, register, install and work completely free.

But with applications from other companies, in particular with the latest version of Visual Studio 2017 you mentioned, we will figure out who uses this product and on what basis. By the end of 2017, it is planned to conduct an audit of the entire computer park of the university for the legality of the installation and use of software, according to the results of which appropriate measures will be taken.

Question: Good day! Just a cry from the heart - repair the metallurgical building. Mold on the walls, cold in winter. Please help. Students of the metallurgical faculty.

Question: The Faculty of Metallurgy will be very grateful to you if you renovate the laboratories of the MC department.

Answer: In accordance with the renovation plan for 2018, if possible, the building of the metallurgical faculty will be repaired, including the laboratories of the MC department.

Question: When will there be student parking?

Answer: The issue is pending.

Question: What faculty students can go to Tsei?

Answer: Students of any faculty, well-trained and disciplined, can go to Tsey.

Question: I would like not only students but also masters to be sent to practice in other cities.

Answer: It is planned to expand the bases for passing internships outside the Republic of North Ossetia-Alania, both for undergraduate and undergraduate students.

Question: In previous years, the choice of students sent to practice and construction brigades was not very correct. I, an excellent student, was waiting for a refusal to send me to any practice for the summer. Sent in priority students of the Faculty of Mining and Geology and some others. I am a student of the metallurgical faculty (mining engineer-enrichment). I hope they will choose according to their academic performance.

(Several similar questions were asked on this topic, including those related to outdoor summer practices. Here is a general answer).

Answer: Dear students, the purpose of our work is to ensure that you successfully complete your internship. To give you the opportunity to directly contact your specialization, it is better to prepare you for professional activity. Of course, first of all, we will send students to practice who study at "excellent" and "good", who do not have medical contraindications, those who, during the academic year, prove themselves to be activists in the social life of the university.

As for the selection of specialties, they will be sent to those areas of training that will be requested by the employer.

Question : At the expense of the issue of employment. I heard that with the formation of the State Institute without a military ID, people are not hired for big positions. What if I'm not fit for the service. Thanks!

Answer: In accordance with the current legislation, the basis for refusal to hire because of not undergoing military service for an unjustified reason only takes place when recruiting for state, municipal service and law enforcement agencies.

Question : Is it possible to deal with obscenities and spitting in public places? Enter any (not strict) dress code?

Answer: As for spitting and foul language, you yourself must make comments to each other.

Question : Concerning food coupons. I don’t eat in the canteen myself, but I propose to introduce food cards, from which you cannot withdraw money, but you can only spend on food in the canteen.

Will the scholarships (basic) increase incl. excellent students, because I do not work.

Answer : The university administration regularly provides financial assistance to needy students from among low-income and large families, which students can send, including for meals in the canteen.

For successful students, scholarships have been established, including in an increased amount, in particular, in September-October, the size of academic scholarships for successful students ranges from 7 thousand rubles to 15 thousand rubles. The basic size of the scholarship is determined by order of the Ministry of Education.

Question : In 2014, I entered the Moscow Automobile and Highway Institute. After 2 years of study, I had to return to Vladikavkaz and enter the SKGMI. While studying in Moscow, I noticed that in every university (in Moscow), there are specially designated smoking areas (smoking rooms). Why is there no so-called "smoking room" in our university, and is it possible to do it? P.S. "Smoking room" on the territory of the university.

Answer: In accordance with current legislation, smoking tobacco in educational institutions is prohibited by Federal Law No. 15-FZ dated 23.02.2013.

Question : Question about the 17th building. Apparently, it was built in violation of the norms, because it is very cold in winter, and in summer we suffocate there. There is also a very strong electric shock, even from the walls and from desks.

The other day, something caught fire on I floor, the fire alarm did not work. We were sent back to II floor and were not allowed to leave the building, although there was a lot of smoke in the corridor. Thanks.

Answer : In the spring of 2018, an audit will be carried out and, if possible, the violations will be eliminated. There is no voice announcement and the fire alarm bell has been triggered.

Question : 2nd year student. On the 1st year, they turned to a physical education teacher about the state of the showers in the locker room. For 2 years nothing has changed. Can showers in changing rooms be refurbished?

Building 4, room 516 - the roof leaks in winter.

Answer: In accordance with the planned renovation work for 2018, during the vacation period in the shower rooms of the sports building, building 4 of auditorium 516, renovations will be carried out.

Question : Hello. When I entered college, I was sure that I would live in a hostel. When I collected the documents, I was disappointed. I was told that I live too close. Distance 30 km. I have to get up every morning at 6:30 so as not to be late for classes.

Answer : There is a provision on the SKGMI (GTU) website which states that the distance between the university and the student's place of permanent residence must be at least 40 km. If we go to a meeting with one student, more will appear, and then there will be no places in the hostel for everyone.

Question : You did not answer the question:

Do they not issue coupons because there is no chronic illness? I study on a budget, and why can't I take coupons? Student Tamik Ikaev. GDs-17-3.

Answer: Student gr. GDS-17-3 IkaevTamik, go to the dispensary to the head doctor Elena Ruslanovna.

Question : Many universities in Russia have e-sports sections (e-sports games). Championships among universities are held. Is it possible to assemble teams for games and act on behalf of SKGMI?

Answer: Your appeal is directed to the dean of the FIT, contact him at any time.

Haven't picked up a guitar for many years. Of course, I'm not Ritchie Blackmore and not Santana, but during my studies at the institute I jerked something. Suddenly I thought - all those songs that we sang with considerable enthusiasm (successfully replacing the lack of skill with them) can simply sink into oblivion, forgotten and unexecuted by anyone.
I decided to write down what I have not yet forgotten. I would be grateful to all those who add and / or correct.
ZY Oh yes! Since I have not been trained in musical notation, I publish only the text. If you manage to interest and organize your wife (she just understands the music), then the notes will appear.
З.З.Ы. Of course, I don’t pretend to be the author. I do not put copyright, tk. it is not known who the author is.

1. The hymn of obstetricians .
instead of an epigraph: "We are not surgeons, not urologists.
And there are no bitter regrets, just like there are
We are obstetricians - gynecologists, yes!
And we send hello to you "from there"!

Already the ninth month has gone to me,
My path from the womb was long and hard.
My eyes are crawling from a strain on my forehead
And the midwife pulls me by the hair!
chorus: Mama, I'm climbing, Mama, I'm climbing!
Mom, I climb, climb myself.
I climb, climb, and I won't climb -
Oh, and my difficult fate, mama!

Mom screams that dad is an idiot
Mom screams that the doctor is just cattle,
Mom screams that I am a baby
And the aunt midwife is just a fool and a pig!
chorus:

The umbilical cord wrapped around the neck like a snake
Asphyxiation happened and I almost died.
They slapped me on the bottom, gave me oxygen
And cotton swabs were stuffed into my mouth.
chorus:

The doctor said, "You're nothing, kid."
The doctor said: "Excellent male!"
The doctor wiped my snot with a napkin,
And he said: "You, boy, will also be an obstetrician!"
chorus:

And I became an obstetrician, as the doctor told me,
And I did abortions and childbirth.
I scream at pregnant women and stamp my foot
And climb per vaginam obstetric hand!
chorus:

***

2. "He was folded like Apollo ..."
He was folded like Apollo.
She was slender as a grooved probe
And every day he is like a shadow
He appeared to her slightly intoxicated and dandy.

"I need you more than a hundred rubles.
You are dearer to me than a kilogram of sulfidine.
I love you, I sing about you,
You're colder than jellied sturgeon! "

There is a hum in the aorta, and loose stools.
The blood pressure has risen to the limit.
Your gentle gaze and drooping ass
They no longer drive blood into the cavernous body.

He became harsh, like our Tonkov,
She is paler than the young spirochete.
And myocardium had a heart attack
And in testes- complete absence of a secret ...

3. Brothers, I'm a provincial student ...

Brothers, I'm a provincial student
My lifestyle is immoral.
My robe is in the suitcase
A stethoscope is always in your pocket.
We'll find the head on occasion.

Knowledge is not needed in medicine -
It's all about penicillin, friends.
Lei, brother, as much as possible
Intravenous and subcutaneous
V musculus gluteus and per os.

I wander around the wards all day
I swear at the sick to myself -
Old and young want to be treated
overcrowded hospitals
And where the hell are they coming from?

The curator's doors are open -
Come in, read the anamnesis vitae.
Dad is an old syphilitic
Mom is below any critic
Childbirth is the first grade.

It is simply impossible to hide the diagnosis,
And sometimes it's not that difficult.
If the doctor tells a lie,
Tomorrow the section will show -
The pathologist is the best diagnostician.

Will be discharged healthy and happy
In a year he will return with a relapse.
Drinking again on Taganka,
Heaters, enemas, banks again.
Again, at least the saints for the funeral ...

* note: last three lines in each
the verse is performed twice
***

4. Maruska.

And two weeks later
He told her this:
"Is it really
Are you counting on marriage? "

Maruska agreed
That life has gone worse
And stuck in my chest, stuck
Sixteen table knives ...

The wheel motor is spinning
Moscow is flying into the air.
Maruska at the institute
Siklifosovskova.

They put Maruska on the table
Sixteen Pieces of Doctors
And every doctor's knife
Pulls out of her breasts.

"Stop pawing with your hands
I'm quite healthy
Sixteenth memory knife
Let it stay in me! "

Maruska to the crematorium
They are driving on a tractor.
And the admirer Maruskin
It's been here for a long time.

I ruined her life myself,
I am to blame for everything!
Pour, please, as a keepsake in my porcelain
Ashes four hundred and fifty-five grams!

And I swear her to the grave
I will never forget!

*note: last two lines in each
the verse is repeated twice

5. How pleasant it is for a stinking corpse ...
*a warning : not recommended for reading by people with thin
mental organization and a weak stomach!

How pleasant it is for a stinking corpse
Bite into the tendons of the legs
And cold rolling meat
Take a half-pound piece!

Take out the blue-blue eye
Put it on a plate
And mixed with rotten intestines,
Eat, and wash down with purulent blood ...

And then, digging in the stomach
Remove the liver and rinse in bile
Rip like a dead duck
Lick your lips, pour over your neighbor.

I love fried beetles
Cat vomit
And the snot of the dead
In canned food!

***

6. Student. Medical. Of the university.

He only has bread and water for breakfast.
Sometimes also corn
But he never remembers himself when he is full
Student. Medical. Of the university.

He is always wearing a tattered and dirty robe
And an old gray blouse
Anyone is madly happy with the coven
Student. Medical. Of the university.

She carefully takes the scholarship into his hands,
As a symbol of priceless cargo
And by the evening he will drink this money
Student. Medical. Of the university.

The corpse has a hungry and greedy grin
And sunken, black belly.
He saw how he counted pennies in vain
Student. Medical. Of the university.

Relatives, family disowned him
Why do they need such a burden
He drags everything out of the house, but nothing to the house
Student. Medical. Of the university.

*note : the last two lines of each
verses are repeated twice

***

7. Bells are bells.


I won't go to work today
And let the iron steam locomotive work
He didn't bring me here for work!

chorus : A student cannot be made a laundress
You can't make a student bend his back
About this car, but get your hands dirty!? -
We'll have a smoke sometime.

And the bells are ding-ding bells
And I won't go to work tomorrow either
Let the iron saw work
My mother did not give birth to me for work.

chorus :

And the bells are ding-ding bells
And I won't go to work at all
And let the iron mechanism work,
And I will wait until communism is built.

chorus :

***
8. Columbus.

Columbus discovered America -
The country is completely foreign to us.
Fool! Why didn't he open
There is a pub on our street.

chorus : So pour it, brother pour it, pour it
And drink every drop, drink
Wine, wine, wine, wine
It is given to our joy ...

And Mendeleev spent his life,
To arrange letters in cells.
Fool! Why didn't you teach us
How to make alcohol from a stool.

chorus :

And Galileo worked all his life,
To prove the earth's rotation.
Fool! Why didn't he get drunk
Then there would be no doubt.

chorus :

And Newton worked for a century,
To prove the attraction of bodies.
Fool! Why didn't he fall in love
Then there would be no doubt.

chorus :

And Darwin wasted his life
To open the way for breeding.
Fool! Why didn't he get married
Then there would be no doubt.

chorus :

chorus : So pour a student to a student,
The students also drink wine.
Non-drinking students are rare -
They are all married for a long time!

*note : the last two lines of each
verses are repeated twice

9. "Stomach".

Warmth in the "Zheludok" in winter and summer
And we thank fate for that.
For being close to our institute
There is such a good buffet ...

They always sell beer in bottles,
And after drinking beer you can live beautifully
And if we don't have lectures today
In "Stomach" we will meet you!

I feel good, friend,
Go to the "Stomach", and not to the circle.
After all, it's only one step before him,
We will fill in there with you all the failures and successes.

Happy is the one
Who will fill the bitter grief with beer,
Who can, having become gray-haired for a long time,
Stay forever young
Into smoke, into smoke, into smoke, into smoke, into smoke, into smoke, into smoke ...

La-la-la, la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la.
La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la ...

* note : "Stomach" we called a pub located
in the building of the Central Stadium next to the main
educational body and amazing way
resembling body of the same name.

***

to be continued...