How to learn to communicate with people? Secrets of correct behavior. Facial expressions and gestures

Sacramental phrase "Hello, tsar, very nice!" - the pinnacle of your communication skills? Besides, even Ivan Vasilyevich managed to pronounce it more affably than you?

And because of this, the vacation "was covered with a copper basin", the teacher did not set the test, and your lovely daughter is not taken to a music school?

Do not be sad!

We will teach how to communicate with people correctlyso that after each conversation with you, the person "blooms and groins."

We don't promise instant results, but with a little effort, you will become a real master of conversations.

Do I need it? 7 reasons to learn to communicate with people

For those who look at us from under their brows and wonder why work on how to communicate with people (from the series "Love us black, and everyone will love us white"), we are ready to give weighty arguments:

you need to learn to communicate in order to find a job.

Well, how are you going to persuade if, when talking with a potential employer, you become clumsy, like Buratino, and carry nonsense, next to which even the lyrics of Zemfira's early songs are an example of “iron” logic?

you will have to learn to communicate with people in order to find mutual understanding with colleagues.

How else can you persuade the dearest Alyonka to replace you on Wednesday, and the system administrator Seryozha - to close your eyes to the fact that 90% of your time you spend on culinary sites?

you need to communicate correctly in the family.

Otherwise, "epic" wars on the theme "Who ate the last cutlet and did not wash the pan?" cannot be avoided;

it is necessary to communicate correctly with service personnel (sellers, waiters, client managers, etc.).

You look - and in sunny Turkey you are accommodated in a "suite" for the price of a standard room, and the seller of carpets with tears in his eyes gives the goods with a 30% discount;

you should learn how to communicate correctly with your superiors.

And this does not mean at all that when “His Holiness of All Firm” appears, you need to cover your face with your hands so as not to be blinded by the outgoing radiance.

Behave yourself with dignity!

you need to learn how to communicate with children correctly.

And no Montessori and Paul Bregg will help if you don't learn to get along with your little house "monster" on your own;

psychologists argue that even the most "protracted" introvert has a need to learn to communicate.

And this is as necessary for your mental health as not seeing more than once a month, mother-in-law!

Top ten! Top 10 rules for how to communicate with people

“It’s not gods who make pots”, but not only professional psychologists are able to communicate with people correctly, so arm yourself with our advice - and go ahead for the glory of “the most charming and attractive”:

Call the person by name more often if you want to learn how to communicate.

Oh, how right old Carnegie was when he argued that a person's own name is more pleasant than angelic chants.

Do we know about this? Sure! Do we use it in everyday communication? That's the same ...

Ask leading questions if you want to learn how to communicate.

Of course, it is not entirely correct to arrange an interrogation with partiality for your interlocutor, but try to ask in such a way that it was difficult to limit yourself to a monosyllabic “yes” or “no”.

Do not be afraid to provoke a little in the conversation and feel free to ask about what really interests you if you want to communicate correctly.

Leave the talk of weather-nature to gray people like the London sky.

But if you sincerely admire the harmony that reigns in your friend's family, you can ask her directly how she succeeds.

She will not lose heart, and, most likely, she will like to act as a guru of family happiness.

However, you must remember that if you want to learn how to communicate, you must know that there are "forbidden" topics that should be raised only over a glass of good wine (or something stronger) with your best friend:

It is necessary to communicate correctly with people with their intonation and at their pace.

You should not bore an elderly woman with a speech in which words fly out faster than bullets, and irritate a chef who is terribly busy with the manners of a "Turgenev" young lady.

Try to speak competently, clearly and firmly with people when you communicate.

And for this, gentlemen, you should at least a little understand the subject of the conversation.

Therefore, if you set out to learn how to communicate with people, we advise you to turn off the TV, burn romance novels, women's magazines and other literary trash at the stake, and “turn to the light” - popular science magazines and high-quality documentary films.

Work on your written language if you need to learn to communicate.

"I am writing to you, what more?" - you, of course, are not Tatiana Larina, but these words should become your motto if you want to communicate with people correctly.

Psychologists argue that there is a direct connection between writing and the ability to verbally express one's thoughts. It's not entirely correct to limit yourself to emoticons on social media!

To communicate properly with people, use facial expressions and gestures in moderation.

You shouldn't talk about a trip to the sea with a stone face, like a central television announcer, but waving your arms like a windmill is also not the best option.

“Do you know what is the brightest impression left from your acquaintance with sunny Italy?
No, not pasta and pizza! I could not stop looking at how beautifully Italians and Italians gesticulate!
What a hand dance! And the raised eyebrow? This is their way of communicating!
In a word, it was indescribable. I got the impression that I am not walking along the streets, but watching a performance! " - says Natalia from St. Petersburg.

1. You can communicate correctly only by delving into what the interlocutor says.

   Do you want to be known as a charm? Then you will have to listen carefully even when a person talks about the methods of breeding geraniums and the shape of shoes during the time of Louis XIV.

   Trust people, be open, at least until they show themselves to be a "radish", if you want to learn how to communicate correctly.

   A neighbor may harass you with his endless repairs (and he wants to hammer a wall on Sunday morning?), But he may turn out to be a brilliant fitness trainer or an equally brilliant lawyer.

   And who doesn't want to get a training program for free from this modern Apollo?

   Be confident all of yourself, like James Bond and Terminator put together, if you want to learn how to communicate with people correctly.

   Does not work? Then you have two ways:

   • “Fall in love with yourself” as you are, in order to communicate confidently.

     Yes, yes, with two crooked teeth, a receding hairline and a love of beer;

     work frantically on yourself, correcting what can be adjusted in order to learn how to communicate.

     Let's be honest - the task is not easy, a kind of "samurai path".

     But it is much more exciting to become a successful metropolitan "little thing" than to revel in the title of "the first girl in the village."

Everyone will speak! 5 secrets of how to properly communicate with strangers

In order not to ask, as in the song "Wait, wait, where are you a man?", Having met David Beckham's double in a bar, you should know how to communicate with strangers:

Ask a question when talking to a new person.

No, no, you shouldn't ask about Newton's third law and rules for solving trigonometric equations if you don't want a "vacuum" to form around you at a party.

Questions "How do you like today's music?" or "How long have you known the lady of the house?" will do quite well.

"Weigh" a compliment if you want to communicate with people correctly.

Even if the interlocutor is like a May rose, believe me, deep down he is happy that you found his dog drooling on the sofa cushion adorable.

Look around you and use some of the surrounding objects as a clue to start communicating with people.

“I have one communication trick that has never let me down: being at someone's house, I always look at volumes in a bookcase.
Word for word - and now we have not a banal "chatter" that food has risen in price, all the deputies are bastards, and our neighbors are potential patients of a mental hospital, but we are arguing about who is cooler - Ian Banks or Haruki Murakami, Coelho or Castaneda. " - shares Lyudmila from Chernigov.

1. Tell something about yourself or ask for advice when you need to communicate properly.

   The fact that you had chickenpox in the fourth grade, you live in a communal apartment, and you have three people and a dog Zhuzha in your care, you should not immediately "load" the person, but if you write articles on psychology or have recently finally got out to the theater - why not "hook" this interlocutor?

   Try to repeat the last phrase of the interlocutor with interrogative intonation when communicating.

   This will help him to show himself in all its glory (he will begin to delve into the topic), and you will earn a reputation as a "human soul", which the world has never seen.

   By the way, this technique is most often used by hitchhikers to make gloomy truck drivers talk.

3 awesome exercises for those who want to properly learn how to communicate with people

"Ten Little Indians".

Your task is to start a conversation with ten strangers in a day.

If you want - ask the handsome man for directions (and who knows where it will take you?), If you want - find out, finally, the name of the janitor and how the neighbor has enough willpower to go out for a run every morning?

"Conversation with a cactus" in order to learn how to communicate correctly.

Well, you can not with a cactus, but with any inanimate object.

Try broadcasting for at least 20 minutes every night to your chair, window, or your favorite cat about your day.
You look - soon you will switch to people! We believe in you!

"Praise, me, praise!"

Throughout the day, you need to compliment everyone with whom you interact.

And whether it will be an exemplary order in the apartment of a friend, your child's "kalyaki-malyaki" or cabbage cut into four parts by her husband under the proud name "Greek salad" is not so important.

6 annoying "shoals" of those who want to communicate brilliantly with people

Although the art of communicating with people correctly is not a minefield where you need to control every step, but why “undermine” where you can do without losses?

How to learn to communicate easily and become a great conversationalist?

3 tips from American coach Brian Tracy in this video:

A real treasure! 10 most interesting books for those who want to know how to communicate with people correctly

For those who want to find the answer to the question "How to learn to communicate with people?", Our list:

No. p \\ p	Title, author
1	Games People Play (Eric Byrne)
2	How to Win Friends and Influence People (Dale Carnegie)
3	“How to Talk to Anyone, Anytime, Anywhere” (Larry King)
4	"Psychology of the Masses and Analysis of the Human Self" (Sigmund Freud)
5	"Don't growl at the dog" (Karen Pryor)
6	"Grandmaster of Communication" (Sergei Deryabo)
7	The Mentalist (Frederic Rapili)
8	"Hidden control of a person" (Victor Sheinov)
9	The Psychology of Influence (Robert Cialdini)
10	“The power of charm. How to Win Hearts and Succeed ”(Brian Tracy, Ron Arden)

So, if you do not want to be known as a "beech" - work on yourself, tirelessly. After all, learn and understand how to learn to communicate with people - according to the strength of every sane person.

Yes, and do not stop chatting with your neighbor only on "good" days, when you sleep well, everything is ok at work, and the new dress suits you wonderfully.

Real ladies and gentlemen behave impeccably every day, not just on holidays. And who knows, perhaps your phone will very soon just "crack" from the numbers of new friends.

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What prevents us from easily and simply communicating with people - talking, maintaining contact? After all, speaking is one of the most important human abilities.

There are many reasons, among which the most popular are:

Shyness,
- fear of saying nonsense,
- fear of being misunderstood,
- unwillingness to express your opinion -

and many other excuses that hide the psychological problem of communication. How to communicate with people correctly, so that this process brings joy, how to reveal the secret of the ability to talk and negotiate -.

Why you can't talk to people correctly

The ability to communicate with people is required daily. Thanks to the ability to speak, we can communicate our thoughts, make friends, confess our love, pursue a career and be confident in any situation in life. The whole life of a modern person consists of intersections with other people, and communication skills are essential.

But what if the conversation fails? Fear, isolation, unsociability, insecurity - all this makes it impossible to find a common language with the interlocutor... System-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan helps to unravel the secret of effective communication.

Communicative interaction is the act of transmitting and receiving information between people. It seems that everything is simple and clear. But for some reason a failure occurs, and a person cannot easily perform these very actions. The reasons lie in his psyche, which determines thoughts, ulterior motives, priorities. Regardless of education or age, the psychology of communication is closely related to a set of desires and values \u200b\u200bof a particular person, called vectors.

The rules of the psychology of communication: for whom it is important

For the owner of the anal vector, the problem will be the fear of disgrace, to say something wrong, out of place. Excellent memory and the ability to analyze past events carefully preserve all past mistakes and mistakes in his thoughts.

An innate tendency towards perfectionism and attention to detail make him constantly scroll through a different set of conversation options in his head, think about the next word. Therefore, his speech is slow, burdened with many details, often unnecessary for the interlocutor. If interrupted during a conversation or forced to speak faster, he can become stupid and lose the conversation.

The tendency to generalize bad personal experiences instead of productively using their analytical skills in professional activities inevitably leads to fear of communication. And even if such a person starts attending trainings on communication with people, the problems are likely to remain. The set of rules and recommendations obtained there shows how to work on the investigation, but cannot remove the cause of uncertainty and difficulties in communication.

And this is the main thing - to realize the reasons for your fears and problems. It's like a medical diagnosis. When it is precisely set and the cause of the disease is determined, it can be cured. Knowing how the psyche works, its properties can be used for the benefit of others and for your joy.

Scary to communicate with people: how to overcome yourself

And if it is scary not only to communicate, but even to live? The huge emotional amplitude of the owner of the visual vector sometimes plays evil jokes with him. The range of emotions from boundless happiness to the same boundless grief and longing. Stunningly rich imagination throws up fantastic plots of disasters, murders and innumerable troubles.

It is people with a visual vector that have the strongest fears, panic attacks and anxiety.

The innate fear of death is a root emotion, as the cause of the whole variety of phobias remains in a visual person, when all his thoughts revolve around fear for himself and his own safety. He begins to be afraid to communicate with people, acting out in his head fantastic stories about robberies, violence, murders. The spectator's fantasies are so vivid and exciting that he begins to believe them, live in a fictitious reality and cannot get out of there.

The paradox is that fantasies are transferred to real life. The more the viewer fears for himself, the more fears he has, the more often he finds himself in situations where he becomes a victim of no longer fictional stories. He cannot be confident. It “smells” of fear, “victim”, and this smell is captured by everyone - from dogs that growl and bite such people to rapists and robbers.

Psychologists' advice on how to overcome fear, overcome yourself, stop being afraid, do not give any result. And this is understandable. After all, again we are trying to deal with the investigation, not understanding the reasons for any fears, including the fear of communicating with people. Awareness of their properties and desires allows a person to get rid of all the problems associated with hypertrophied self-care and fear for oneself.

Empathy with other people, relatives, friends and relatives allows the viewer to establish a strong emotional contact with the interlocutor and share his sorrows and joys with him. In this case, the fear goes away and there is no communication problem at all. On the contrary, people are drawn to such people. They want to be near them, feeling genuine sympathy and empathy.

How to learn to communicate when you are not interesting to me

Sound people are generators of ideas. But with whom to share them? Who can understand and discuss them? Genius in potential, but difficult to communicate, as if fixated on themselves and their thoughts, the sound people often close in themselves, poorly make contact with people. They cannot clearly and simply express their thoughts, because they themselves understand the meaning, and it is no longer interesting to pronounce the entire chain of words.

Egocentrics by nature, arrogant and "the smartest", people with a sound vector can engage in spiritual self-improvement, the psychology of which is to cognize what is not in the material world. Of course, finding like-minded people for such communication is not easy. But if this happened, then the two sound people will discuss the higher worlds, spiritual topics or happily be silent, sitting at night under the starry sky.

To answer the age-old questions - who am I, where am I from and where am I going? - the sound engineer needs to be aware of his desires and characteristics. Realizing that his main desire is to know himself, the people around him and the meaning of life, the sound engineer can get out of his "shell" and begin to know the world around him. The transfer of concentration from your inner states to others completely solves all the problems of communication with people.

Reading time 7 minutes

Many people have a fear of communicating with people. Some people easily speak in front of a huge audience, easily make acquaintances and naturally support any conversation, filling it with jokes. For some, keeping up with ordinary everyday conversation is a whole problem. Why is this happening? How to learn to communicate with people? Is it possible to learn to communicate easily and not feel fear, or is it a gift that is not available to everyone?

We need communication skills every day. Many people think that this skill is only necessary for businessmen to successfully negotiate. But this is not the case. Psychologists have proven that communication with people is one of the basic human needs that nothing else can replace. Any relationship between people, be it friendship, marital relationship is impossible without communication. This is a basic human need, on which the feeling of security depends, the feeling that we are loved and needed by someone, the feeling that we deserve respect.

Not knowing how to communicate often leads to divorce, because partners simply have not learned to negotiate. Many people suffer from loneliness just because they are afraid to approach and make a new acquaintance. Communication, relationships and psychology are inextricably linked and greatly affect the quality of human life.

The ability to communicate is necessary for every person, it is the key to success in many areas of life. You must understand that talking and communicating are not the same thing. The concept of communication in psychology is a rather complex process that includes both verbal and non-verbal communication. It is not only the meaning of your words that plays an important role, but also the timbre of your voice, intonation, posture and gestures. And the most important thing is the thoughts and feelings that are in your subconscious mind.

The interlocutors always feel what feelings and emotions you are actually experiencing when communicating. The psychology of interpersonal communication studies the problem, what are people really afraid of when communicating, what feelings do they experience? This can be fear of rejection or refusal, anger at offenders, fear of saying something out of place, being misunderstood and rejected, fear of expressing one's opinion, low self-esteem, and problems with diction.

The fear of communicating with people usually begins in childhood. And becoming an adult, many still cannot survive some of the psychological trauma inflicted by parents or peers. “Don't talk nonsense” is a catchphrase of many parents, which sows self-doubt in a child for almost the whole life. Often, excruciating speeches at the blackboard or peer ridicule are affected. Of course, these may not be such deep-seated problems. For example, a person may experience communication difficulties if he is unable to establish contacts, is too modest, shy, has low self-esteem or complexes about his appearance, is afraid to cause displeasure in other people, or, due to his character, is unable to listen and understand other people.

If you are aware of your problem and often say to yourself: “I don’t know how to communicate,” then it’s time to talk to a psychologist who will help you find the cause of the disorder in your communication skills and give practical recommendations on how to eliminate them. You can also help yourself.

There are now a lot of decent books on the psychology of communication that are worth reading:

1. “The power of charm. How to Win Hearts and Succeed ”(Brian Tracy, Ron Arden)
2. The Psychology of Influence (Robert Cialdini)
3. "Hidden control of man" (Victor Sheinov)
4. The Mentalist (Frederic Rapili)
5. "Grandmaster of Communication" (Sergei Deryabo)
6. "Don't growl at the dog" (Karen Pryor)
7. "Psychology of the Masses and Analysis of the Human Self" (Sigmund Freud)
8. “How to Talk to Anyone, Anytime, Anywhere” (Larry King)
9. How to Win Friends and Influence People (Dale Carnegie)
10. Games People Play (Eric Byrne)

How to learn to communicate with people: communication rules

Dale Carnegie has best formulated the rules of communication in his books. Here are some of them:

Communication secrets include non-verbal communication techniques. To fully learn how to communicate, you need to learn body language. It is unlikely that someone will carefully listen to the speaker, who will stand hunched over in front of the audience and mutter something under his breath. People always pay attention to the posture, the timbre of the voice and the speed of speech. Also, special attention is attracted by the human eyes. We often notice that he looks confidently, slanting, slyly, or "eyes are burning." There are psychological trainings that teach you to look at the interlocutor correctly - directly, openly, with interest, without oppressing or belittling him.

As for facial expressions, you can use it to find out the mood of a person or to send certain signals yourself.

By the gestures and posture of a person, you can easily determine whether he is closed or open during communication. If hands are crossed, hidden in pockets or clenched into fists, then this indicates that the person wants to fence himself off from you, stop communicating. Open poses and open palms indicate that a person wants to communicate. You can also learn techniques of openness in psychological training.

Unusual but powerful communication techniques

To overcome your fear of communication, you can start by trying to communicate by phone. Write on a piece of paper all the questions you want to know and call, for example, a beauty salon. Find out what the procedures are, their cost, recommendations. This will be a great first step in overcoming your fear.

You can try talking to a chair or flowerpot for at least 10 minutes a day. It is very difficult, in fact. First tell how you are doing, then make a conversation plan and stick to it. This is a very effective technique for overcoming fear in dealing with people.

Try to start a casual conversation with 10 strangers every day. For example, with a salesman, pharmacist, neighbor, etc. Try to give each of them a compliment. This will liberate you very much.

The psychology of communication helps a person get rid of the fear of communicating with people. First of all, the psychologist helps to realize that there really is a problem, helps to identify the cause of the problem and work on these problems.

A person who is aware of their fear of communicating with people must work hard to overcome these problems. In addition to psychological trainings, it is important to read a lot, learn more new information. The goal is not so much to become an interesting conversationalist as to become an interesting person.

If a person notices that they do not want to communicate with him, then he is not interesting. Lack of energy, drive, hobbies and hobbies. But all this is fixable.

There is a separate problem of communication with the opposite sex. There are many single women and men who dream of meeting their soul mate. Again, fear interferes with talking to a pretty girl or guy.

You should know that communicating with the opposite sex, as soon as there is a moment when you have nothing else to talk about, the person loses interest in you. Therefore, you need to find out about the hobbies and hobbies of a guy or a girl, try to figure it out so that you can easily maintain a conversation.

Often, guys and girls perceive the opposite sex as an alien creature, therefore, in order to establish contact, the girl will have to learn a thing or two about football and beers, and the guy about cosmetics and fashion.

Try to behave naturally and positively with the opposite sex, do not forget to smile, say compliments, show genuine interest.

Do not be afraid to confess if you are incompetent in some matter. Ask your partner a question, he will be pleased that you are interested in learning more about his hobbies. In general, when dealing with guys, it is important to focus on them, not yourself. And do not tell too much about yourself, a couple of facts from life and nothing more. Do not allow vulgarity and intimate details in the conversation at the first meetings. Avoid female gossip and discussion behind your back.

When communicating with a girl, sincerely smile, give subtle compliments and ask questions so that she can answer them in a detailed manner.

In general, in order not to feel fear in communication, and, in principle, not to have any problems with this, you must first of all become interesting to yourself and make your life bright and exciting. Whatever you do, do for yourself. You are responsible only for your life, your happiness. As soon as your life is filled with colors, people themselves will look for meetings with you and have a desire to talk to you.

All in your hands!

With the advent of humanity, a huge need for communication arose. Even in ancient times, without him, it was impossible to warn a fellow tribesman, express his sympathy for a woman, teach children to survive and hunt, passing on their knowledge and skills to them. Today we have a clear system of symbols by means of which we can say absolutely everything that we think. But even in modern society, some people experience communication difficulties and do not always know how to overcome them.

Features:

From the very birth we begin to learn the language, which we subsequently speak our whole life. However, the ability to pronounce sounds in the correct sequence does not mean that we have the art of communication, it can be compared to onomatopoeia. A person speaks when there is meaning in his words, when they are used with some meaning in a specific situation.

As a person grows up, they have to communicate more and more. His successful socialization in kindergarten, the ability to "take root" at school, the degree of success at the university and at work depend on this. When communicating with peers, it is important to try to become an interesting interlocutor for them, to be able to attract attention. Adults should see you as a worthy opponent, a person with whom it is pleasant to deal.

But being interesting enough for everyone is difficult, and for some this goal may be almost unattainable. There are several factors that prevent people from fully communicating:

• Personal complexes and self-doubt. In this case, the person simply does not believe that someone can be interested in the conversation, he does not dare to express his thoughts and ideas.
• The opposite phenomenon is heightened self-esteem. Such people put themselves above others. Others do not understand them and do not seek to make contact with them.
• Active use of social networks. Online communication can cause fear of real meetings, self-doubt.
• Poor intellectual development. A small set of knowledge narrows the range of topics that a person can communicate, therefore it quickly becomes boring with him.

The role of communication

Communication has always played an important role in human life. As soon as people learned to communicate with each other, it became important to be able to correctly build a dialogue, to please the one who likes, even verbally punish the offender. There are so many different factors in human life that you need to be able to control and subordinate to yourself that without the skills of correct communication, nothing can work out. In addition, the consequences of not knowing how to communicate can even negatively affect your life.

Success in school or university is not only due to good looks. Most of the "popular" people know how to communicate, keeping attention on their personality. At work and in personal life, speech is also important.

At work, you may not be promoted even if you deserve it simply because you are unable to successfully establish contacts and conduct business negotiations. In family life, you also cannot avoid problems if you do not learn to find a common language with your partner. If you do not have common topics of conversation, or you are unable to resolve disputes and find a compromise, the relationship can "crack".

The entire modern society is based on the ability to correctly structure speech and contact with others. Famous politicians, scientists and artists would not be so famous if they could not subdue the attention of a large number of people with one word.

Therefore, if you want to be successful and happy, it is important to learn to communicate with people, correct your speech deficiencies and improve in this area.

Ways to achieve efficiency

In modern society, the ability to conduct a conversation correctly is an important aspect. In the process of communication, the interlocutors perceive each other, exchange information, personal and business interaction, search for solutions.

If you haven’t received oratory skills by nature, you should not hang your nose and give up. The ability to speak beautifully and achieve the desired results in a conversation can be learned independently. The main thing is to know what is required for this. For effective communication, it is important to break down the communication process into components and specifically work out each of them:

• Gaining self-confidence is important.First of all, in order to learn how to communicate properly, you need to start to respect yourself. You must confidently express your thoughts, even if they are wrong, because your point of view has a right to exist. It will be clear to your opponent that you need to be reckoned with, that your judgments make sense, and you can listen to them.
• Deal with your fear. Many insecure people are passive in dialogue. They are afraid to ask questions, be interested in anything, express their opinion, so as not to bring down the indignation of others. They are afraid of judgmental looks, possible unpleasant comments in their address. Do not be afraid to conduct the conversation in a way that suits you, ask about everything that interests you.

• Treat the other person with respect and tact... Do not interrupt the speaker, give him the opportunity to fully express himself, even if you disagree with his arguments. Then calmly express your opinion.
• Try not to be distracted by extraneous topics... The ability to express your thoughts beautifully and competently, while speaking to the point, will allow you to quickly earn respect in society.
• You must be able to inspire the confidence of the interlocutor... To achieve this goal, you need very little - just look your partner in the eyes. Through eye contact, communication can be made easily. If a person lowers or hides his gaze, his behavior is not always perceived as a sign of shyness. More often this is regarded as insincerity or even a lie. This conversation will not do you any good.

• It is important to show genuine interest in the other person. During a conversation with an unfamiliar person, you need to give him the opportunity to tell about himself, express his thoughts. Don't talk too much. A monologue can quickly tire a person, and he is unlikely to want to talk to you again. You need to make the person feel at ease in your company. Interest in the conversation should be mutual. Remember to use your opponent's name. This nuance will also show your interest in it.
• It's also important to be able to ask the right questions. This is especially necessary if you are just getting to know a person and want to know more about him. The art of correctly posing questions makes it possible to receive full-fledged detailed answers instead of a restrained "yes" or "no". So you can make the conversation light and interesting, allowing the interlocutor to feel confident and free in your company.
• Using knowledge and erudition- no less important point. It is easier for a person with a large store of knowledge to start and maintain any conversation. Communication with such people brings a lot of positive emotions to all interlocutors.

How to be interesting?

If you want to take an active part in discussions, and sometimes even become the initiator of a conversation, it is important to be able to win over people and be interesting to those around you. A correctly chosen topic is already half the battle. If you prepare in advance for the conversation, read as much information as possible on this issue, then you will be well-versed in it and you will always find something to say. It is only important to give out information in portions and at the right moments, otherwise the communication will be similar to a report.

To make the topic of conversation interesting and convenient for everyone, it is important to clarify whether someone objects to this conversation, and only then begin an active discussion.The reluctance of someone from the group to communicate may show his weak knowledge in this matter or a great lack of self-confidence. If a person does not protest, but does not take part in communication, you need to involve him in the conversation, ask his opinion. Gradually, the person will gain confidence and become a participant in the conversation.

Do not be afraid to communicate with people of different professions, interests, social status. Over time, you will learn to adapt to any conversation and properly "present" yourself in society.

Team communication

In order for communication in a team to be pleasant and easy, it is important to take into account only two main factors. The most important thing is to find an individual approach to each member of a team or a specific conversation. If you communicate with people new to yourself, try to share common phrases with each participant in the conversation in order to form an opinion about him, determine the type of his temperament, and learn about character traits.

Engaged in building correct communication in a team, it is important to communicate with everyone at their level (except for people of higher rank). All team members should feel needed and respected. Only then will the communication process be pleasant and successful.

The second point is the ability to listen.We have been able to speak since childhood, but the art of being attentive to the interlocutor is much more important. This is necessary for the conversation to be interesting, informative and enjoyable for all participants. Don't interrupt the narrator. This will give you the impression of an uncivilized person. In addition, your intervention can throw the speaker out of his mind. Respect everyone in the conversation and you will be treated the same way.

Dialogue with the opposite sex

Getting to know someone of the opposite sex requires special skills. Even with self-confidence and positive communication experiences with peers, it can be difficult to get started with a member of the opposite sex. To make the acquaintance pleasant for both parties, it is important to adhere to some tips:

• Be natural. Don't try to joke around all the time or be overly serious. If you want to make a good impression, be yourself. It is sincerity that will help attract attention to you, and then conquer your future soul mate. This is the only way you can make communication lively and fun.
• When starting a conversation, follow not only the vocabulary, but also the correctness of humor and the topics raised in the conversation. Inappropriate jokes and overly personal questions can not only not interest a person, but even alienate him.
• When you first meet, keep your distance, respect your personal space. You should not hug a representative of the opposite sex without his consent. At the beginning of interaction, it is better to focus on building a dialogue.
• At the first contact, it is important to often look the other person in the eyes and smile sincerely. This will show your openness, interest and sympathy for the person. This is the only way you will have a pleasant conversation that can grow into something more in the future.

The process of communication with different people

In the process of daily communication, we are faced with a huge number of people. Different characters, upbringing, social status, age and many other nuances affect the process of communication with each specific person. You need to learn how to apply an individual approach to different interlocutors, otherwise you may find yourself in an unpleasant situation.

Each person is a unique personality, and this must be reckoned with. If you disagree with someone, do not immediately criticize him. Calmly express your point of view and try to find a compromise.

If the phrases or jokes of the interlocutor annoy you, it is better to transfer the communication in a different direction, so you can avoid conflict. If you begin to openly comment, you can provoke a scandal.

When dealing with some people, you should not discuss others. First, your words may sooner or later "reach" the object of your conversation. Secondly, the reputation of a person who discusses and criticizes everyone will not bring you popularity. On the contrary, you will alienate people from you. Few would want to communicate openly with such an unpleasant person.

Human communication skills are very important. Many areas in your life can depend on how you talk or correspond with your interlocutors. Becoming a pleasant and tactful interlocutor, and having mastered some rules of etiquette, you will be able to win over many people, which can bring you positive results in the future.

What is the role of the ability to communicate correctly in society?

The ability to establish contact is an important quality, and no one has it from birth. This skill needs to be developed, and if it has not been laid down for you since childhood, it does not mean at all that you cannot acquire it now. People who have learned to communicate correctly in society are undoubtedly more successful not only in their careers, but also in their personal lives. Often, according to our manner of speaking, the interlocutors make up a first impression of us, and we can achieve that it was only positive.

Subtleties of communication

Note that communication can include verbal and non-verbal elements. That is, entering into a dialogue with other people, you do not just utter a set of phrases, and not only the attention of the interlocutors is focused on them. In addition to the correctness of speech, it is important to monitor the shades of intonation, facial expressions, gestures, and gaze.

Surely, you had to observe how a person seems to say reasonable things, but something repels him. It can be just a running glance, sharp movements of the hands, or as if "frozen" posture, monotonous phrases and the like. All of these factors are just as important as the content of your phrases.

How to stop being afraid of public speaking

As you know, some people are afraid to speak in front of an audience, and this fear can remain throughout their lives. However, many people feel psychological stress not only when speaking in front of a large audience, but also simply, if necessary, to contact a stranger. It can reach discomfort even when communicating with a seller, cashier, etc.

Fear of communicating with strangers

The first step is to determine where this fear came from. There may be several reasons.

Shyness

Usually this trait comes from deep childhood, and depends on the temperament of the child. Some children behave openly, and sometimes obsessively, while others are embarrassed to start a dialogue with adults or peers. If parents do not instill communication skills, and let everything go by itself, then in the end this trait flows into adulthood.

Low self-esteem

You are so insecure that you think that if you start a conversation with a stranger, you will look stupid. Perhaps you feel that you have nothing to talk about, you are unhappy with your voice, unsure of your ability to clearly express your thoughts, and the like. Low self-esteem can be hidden in a lot of small things, leading to general self-doubt.

Complexes regarding appearance

This subparagraph can be linked to the previous one, but the difference is that it speaks exclusively about appearance. Perhaps you think that if you start talking, others will pay attention to some flaw in your appearance, which would have hidden from them, if you did not attract attention to yourself.

Ways to Deal with Fear

Recognizing the problem

After realizing what your problem is, which has triggered your fear of communication, it is important to try to solve it. If the reason lies in some kind of defects in appearance, then find a way to fix them. It is also important to understand that your complex may be contrived. Surely, among the famous people there are those who have a similar "flaw" - look how they behave in public and how many fans they have!

If it's not about looks or not just her, but low self-esteem in general, then you probably need to raise her. You can make an appointment with a psychologist, but if you are afraid of communicating with strangers, then, probably, such a step will cause you stress. That is why you should look on the Web for motivating videos with consultations from psychologists, which are absolutely free.

Appearance

A lot depends on how you look when communicating with people. You've probably noticed that if you are unsure of your appearance, then communication is even more difficult for you - you just do not want to focus on yourself. Such moments must be avoided. We are talking about the elementary - clothes, accessories, shoes. Choose your wardrobe carefully so that you don't have any doubts about it. Don't forget not only stylish and comfortable clothes, but also skin, teeth, hair and nails care. If you take good care of all of the above, you will build up your confidence.

Communication

If you want to overcome your fear, then you need to face the problem face to face. Only by starting to connect with other people will you learn to cope with your psychological barriers. Start small - phone calls. Hone your skills in communicating with loved ones. You are unlikely to be afraid of talking with relatives or friends - talk to them more often. As an experiment, to clarify any question, call an old acquaintance who for some period fell out of your sight. Subsequently, you can call one of the city's gyms, for example, after asking the administrator what is the cost of a subscription in their institution and until which hour the gym is open. You can also call a beauty salon or a yoga studio with clarifying questions. It is not necessary to use these services afterwards - you simply consult, as many other people do.

Having a little familiar with telephone conversations, try to strike up a dialogue "live". If you are afraid to look stupid when addressing strangers, then choose a communication method where you mostly have to listen. You can go to the nearest post office and ask what is the best way to send a parcel to another country (for example, to Canada in the city of Toronto), and how long it will take to go there. Improvise and gradually you will forget about your fears.

I don't know what to talk to people about, how to start a dialogue first

It is important to understand that if you start the conversation first, then nothing terrible or unnatural will happen. Would it be that if another person starts a conversation with you, you think something bad about him? Most probably not. Likewise, other people will not see anything incredible if you refer to them, so do not invent problems from scratch.

1. Ask questions

The easiest way to start a dialogue is with a question that is relevant to the situation. If you are at a certain party, you can ask something about the menu - pay attention to what the potential interlocutor drinks or eats, and ask if he is happy with the choice and whether you should order yourself a similar dish or drink. Of course, you should not be intrusive at the same time, if a person is relaxed and clearly ready to communicate, and not concentrated on absorbing his food, then only then it makes sense to ask such questions.

You can also be interested in more neutral topics - how to get to this or that area, where there is a good store of equipment or books in the city, and so on.

2. Be interesting

In order not to raise questions about possible topics for conversation, you need to expand your horizons, constantly be in the stage of intellectual or physical development. If you have nothing to talk to others about, then most likely you are not very interested in anything other than your main activity. Many careerists are fixated only on their work, housewives - on everyday issues, and students - on their studies. These topics are hardly the only ones able to win over the interlocutor and make him interested in your personality.

Start with reading - world classics or philosophical literature. Subsequently, you can give examples from the books you read or recommend certain works to the interlocutor, giving them your assessment. You may say that you have absolutely no time to read. It is for such people that audiobooks have long been invented, which can be listened to in traffic jams, while cooking dinner, cleaning the apartment, and so on.

It is useful to attend various master classes for the development of your personality. As a child, many of us liked to go to some kind of "circles" - dancing, drawing, beading and the like. Nowadays all this and much more is offered for adults as well. In almost every city, with the exception of very small provinces, you can find many master classes - you can sign up for a painting lesson, belly dancing, yoga, cooking classes, dancing and much more!

3. Let others be interesting

Do not think that when communicating with you, the interlocutor is only engaged in evaluating your conversation skills, tone, gestures and content of stories. Most people want to make a good impression of themselves as much as you do, and you can endear them if you help them open up in an interesting way. He will remember this feeling of self-satisfaction, and subconsciously note that it arose during a conversation with you, so he will be pleased to remember this communication, and he will strive for it again.

If you know that the interlocutor recently visited another country or city, inquire about the peculiarities of this place. If he plays sports, mark his excellent physical condition, tell him that you would like to do something similar and ask for advice on where to start. Many people can get lost on some questions, and if you notice that one of them caught a person by surprise, do not focus on this topic if the counterpart himself does not return to it. Immediately, unobtrusively turn the conversation into another direction - but do not go on to the next question, but tell something yourself, in the meantime, allowing the interlocutor to collect his thoughts.

How easy it is to meet people and make friends

Often, people avoid making acquaintances on their own, fearing to look strange. If you want to avoid this, take note of some recommendations.

Don't be intrusive. When addressing a person, try to accurately track his reaction. If he clearly tries to answer in monosyllables, looks away, does not ask counter questions and switches to other things, such as examining the surrounding interior or the settings of his phone, then he is clearly not disposed to dialogue. It may not even be about you - it's just that now this person does not want communication or is not in the mood to make new acquaintances. Surely you are familiar with similar feelings.

Be natural. Allow yourself to forget about all your fears or complexes for at least one day. Conduct a kind of experiment - start a conversation with another person, without thinking about what impression you make. Just enjoy the conversation.

Stay Confident in itself. If so far you have not been able to gain confidence in yourself, no one should guess about it. Starting a conversation with ingratiating words or uncertain intonations is unlikely to achieve a positive effect. Speak confidently and calmly, do not hesitate in your words, and do not think that you might look stupid and ridiculous. What does a confident person look like? During a conversation, he does not look at the floor or to the side, but in the eyes of the interlocutor. Although, from time to time, it is still worthwhile to relax your gaze to the side - an uninterrupted gaze into the eyes may seem unnatural. Do not constantly straighten your clothes or hair, do not "wring" your hands and do not study your reflection (even briefly) on mirrored surfaces.

Speech and diction. This is also an important point. Learn to speak not too loudly, but not softly either. You should be heard well, but nothing more. If you are periodically asked to speak louder or quieter, pay attention to this point - it can significantly annoy the interlocutors. You can also record your speech on a dictaphone, and while listening to it, pay attention to errors. Avoid procrastination and procrastination, as well as excessive haste. Observe the golden mean. Now you can find many trainings in which professionals will help you with the correct diction. You can just sign up for a private consultation with a speech therapist, even if it seems to you that you have no problems with pronunciation, stress placement and the like - this meeting, in any case, will benefit you.

Be positive. Many people try to avoid those who often "radiate" negativity. Think if you are one of these pessimists? Even if you are used to thinking negatively, try not to show this trait to others. Compliment people, praise them, joke, laugh at other people's jokes.

However, feigned gaiety should also be avoided - such insincerity is often noticeable and looks ridiculous. Try not to talk badly about other people, or at least not focus on your negative emotions - this can alienate you.

Show interest. As you know, most people are very concerned about their personality - how they look, what impression they make, and the like. Taking an interest in the person you are talking to can be a sure way to establish friendships. Pay attention to any slightest achievements of a potential friend, ask for his opinion on a particular topic, give compliments. Of course, it's important not to overdo it so that your interest doesn't sound like flattery.

If you begin to notice that other people are not too eager to maintain a dialogue with you and even avoid communication, then perhaps some reasons contributed to this. Let's take a look at some of them:

1- Subjective assessment

Of course, we all have our own subjective point of view on almost everything. However, if you are a tactful interlocutor, you will not try to impose your opinion on another person, especially if you see that he does not agree with him.

It is important to understand that someone else's point of view on certain events is no less valuable than yours. Yes, perhaps the interlocutor is really mistaken, but if you want it to be pleasant to communicate with you, then do not try to prove your case at all costs. Give your arguments gently, without irony or irritation, ask what arguments your opponent has. Believe me, if a person is really wrong in some important issue, then he will soon understand it himself. If the question is insignificant, then it is not worth paying special attention to.

2 - Detachment or talkativeness

These are two extremes that are best avoided. In the first case, when a person behaves distantly, immersed in himself, the interlocutor may decide that you are not interested in communicating with him. Of course, there are people who like to speak out incessantly, and at the same time do not notice the mood of others, but the majority still pay attention to other people's reactions. Perhaps, due to the peculiarity of character or shyness, you try not to express your point of view, giving the interlocutor the right to conduct a dialogue, but gradually such communication can turn into a monologue, and it is not a fact that such a state of affairs is pleasant to another participant in the conversation.

In the second case (with excessive talkativeness) it is also difficult to hone the right communication skills. Many of us know people who like to talk a lot, interrupt and not listen to others. At the same time, they may consider themselves interesting and sociable personalities, but in fact they cause varying degrees of irritation. If they come across mostly tactful interlocutors on their way, they may not even know about their problem. Analyze your conversations with other people - who speaks more? In communication, it is important to maintain a balance - to speak yourself, ask questions and listen to the answers of the other person.

3 - gaze

Are you sure you don't have that habit of staring at other people? Many people feel uncomfortable under such a "microscope", and they try to curtail the conversation as soon as possible. It may seem to you that you are quietly examining someone's shoes, hair, or some part of the body, but, as a rule, this is quite noticeable.

Also, the height of tactlessness is pointing out any shortcomings that a person already knows very well himself or, most likely, would like not to focus on. Perhaps, it is not even worth mentioning that exclamations are unacceptable: "Oh, and you have a pimple popped out!", "Do you know that you have gray hair?", "Have you recovered?", "Your blouse is wrinkled" and so on. similar tactless remarks. They can only sound between very close people - a parent and a son or a daughter or a husband and wife, and then if you are sure that it is appropriate.

4 - Questions

This one follows from the previous subparagraph - it will be about the ability to ask questions. Even if you and your interlocutor speak in approximately equal proportions, but at the same time you do not ask any questions to maintain the conversation, then such a conversation can soon become boring. It is important for people to feel interested in their person. Take an interest in the affairs of the interlocutor, his opinion on this or that account. In this case, it is important not to cross the line. If you are not in a very close relationship, do not ask very personal questions - do not be tactless. If a person is embarrassed about a question or topic of conversation, gently turn the conversation into another channel, thereby showing yourself to be a flexible and tactful interlocutor.