Theoretical foundations of family psychology. Family Psychology and Family Consulting

Psychology of family relations. The subject and objectives of the study.

Psychology of family - A relatively young industry of psychological knowledge, which is in the stage of its formation. It is based on the richest practice of family psychotherapy, the experience of psychological assistance to the family and family counseling, the practice of psychological counseling of parents on the education and development of children and adolescents. A distinctive feature of the psychology of the family as a scientific discipline was its inextricable connection with psychological practice.

Theoretical Family Psychology Stated in social psychology, psychology of the personality, psychology of development, pedagogical psychology, clinical psychology. Social psychology, based on the idea of \u200b\u200bthe family as a small group, studies the questions of the role structure of the family and leadership in the family, the stage of development of the family as a group, the problems of choosing a marriage partner, family cohesion problems, family conflicts and ways of their permission.

The subject of psychology Families are the functional structure of the family, the main laws and the dynamics of its development; Family development.

The tasks of family psychology include:

study of the patterns of the formation and development of the functional role structure of the family at various stages of its life cycle;

study of the breast period, the characteristics of the search and the choice of the marriage partner;

study of the psychological peculiarities of marital relations;

study of the psychological characteristics of child-parent relations;

studying the role of family education in the development of the child in various age stages;

study of non-normative family crises and developing strategies for their overcoming.

Distinctive features of the formation of family relations in Russia in a modern sociocultural situation.

Nowadays, gradually goes into the past view of the family as a means for the birth of a child, much more often the family is considered as a means of satisfying the emotional and intellectual needs of a person. However, in the context of globalization, the acceleration of the pace of life, the family is often regarded both as a safe rear, a warranty of stability, sometimes - as a creative or business industry.

Thus, in our time, Russia gradually comes to the diversity of the forms of the family device, among which are found both traditional types of devices and modern, in addition, a considerable contribution to the variety of types makes the features of family stages of the national republics of Russia.

Changes in spiritual values \u200b\u200bof Russians in the modern period.

If the orientation for spiritual and moral values \u200b\u200bdoes not provide a minimum or declared suddenness, then serious conflicts occur in the social mood of people. Thus, according to the laboratory of the social psychology of comprehensive social studies from St. Petersburg University, the value of one of the most important activities in the 60s of the "work" in the formulation of "Interesting work" has sharply decreased in the hierarchy of the value orientation of the population. She fell on the 12th place from 2 3rd, which occupied in the early 80s. (The survey in 1990 swept 1000 people of representatives of all socio-demographic groups of the population from St. Petersburg.) In a short list of 9 values, "material wealth" turned out to be in the 3rd place (after "health", "family"). There were some "scissors": people justified want to live in prosperity, but at the same time the main tool for its achievement work is entitled to the back plan. Sometimes in sociology, the concepts of "positive" and "negative values" are used, as well as "approved" and "denied values". At the same time, the differentiation of values \u200b\u200bfor approved and denied has nothing to do with their division on positive and negative.

Patriarchate, feminist, partner ideas about the relationships of floors.

Patriarchal (traditional) family is the most archaic family type: there are many children in it and together live different generations of relatives and delicacies; Strictly observed national and religious customs.

In most feminist theories, Patriarchate is considered as an unfair social system, overwhelming women and men, and restricting their social roles for a set of certain criteria. According to the feminism, which occurs in the patriarchate designing differences between masculinity and femininity is a political difference between freedom and submission. As a rule, feminism describes the patriarchy as a social construct, which can be overcome using a critical analysis of its manifestations. One of the key problems of Patriarchate is that he erases the personal qualities of both women and men who drive them into the framework of "feminine" and "courageous" behavior. As a result of this person, whose social behavior goes beyond the dualistic model of gender roles, become the object of discrimination and condemnation. Patriarchate distinguishes only two gender - male and female, and also puts the sign of equality between gender and gender.

Contrary to the predictions of radicals, monogamous marriage and legally unformed regular partnerships do not die away. Family as such does not disappear. However, family values \u200b\u200bthemselves are differentiated, indicators of subjective well-being are on the fore. If traditional marriage is a rather tough social institution, then modern partnerships and marriages are to be self-concrete relationships based on mutual love and psychological intimacy, regardless of the method of their social design. Such relations are less sustainable than a non-invalid church marriage and even marriage for the calculation based on the common property of property interests. This will lead to an increase in the number of divorces, and the actual task of society becomes not only the strengthening of the family, but also an increase in the culture of the divorce, from the lack of which children suffer the most. A typical form of relationships between young men and girls becomes the so-called serial monogamy, when a person lives with only one partner / partner, but this relationship continues not all his life, but only some more or less long time. Such relationships between a man and a woman contradict, on the one hand, the idea of \u200b\u200ba lifelong marriage union, and on the other - the ideas about the unnecessaries of marriage in general. Such relationships make a person more free and less responsible, but this situation is unreliable, unstable. Thus, the further development of relations between men and women involves the recognition by the society of their equality, equivalence and equality.

Modern research in the field of psychology of family relations.

In the realities of the XXI century, more acute questions about how to find a steady, harmonious union with another person and how to keep this union throughout life.

The problem of the psychology of family relations arises in terms of the realization of the life and personal ideology of a person, in terms of the formation of a family scenario and in terms of realizing the meanings and goals of family life. Best of all expressed S.L. Rubinstein: "Attitude towards another person, to people is the main tissue of human life, its core. "Heart" of man is all worn out of his human relations to other people; What it costs is entirely determined by what human relationship a person seeks what relation to people, to another person he is capable of installing. The psychological analysis of human life aimed at disclosing relations to other people is the core of genuine psychology. "

The main functions of the family.

A family, like any system, implements a number of functions in a hierarchy, reflecting both the specifics of her, family, cultural and historical development, and the originality of the stages of its life cycle:

economic (material and industrial), household

reproductive (childbirth and reproduction of the population)

the function of raising children. The family advocates the Institute for the Primary Socialization of the Child

sexy-erotic

the function of spiritual communication involving spiritual mutual enrichment of family members

rereactive (restorative) - the function of ensuring the conditions for the restoration of neuropsychic health and the mental stability of family members;

the function of social regulation, control and guardianship (in relation to minors and incapable family members)

Family structure.

There are many different composition options, or structures, families:

- "Nuclear family" consists of a husband, wives and their children;

- "Refilled family" - an increased union in its composition: married couple and their children, plus parents of other generations, such as grandparents, uncle, aunt living together or in close proximity to each other and components of the family structure;

- "Mixed Family" is a "rebuilt" family formed due to the marriage of divorced people. The mixed family includes non-rigid parents and non-native children, since children from the previous marriage are poured into a new family unit;

- "Family of the Single Parent" is a farm, which is conducted by one parent (mother or father) due to a divorce, care or death of the spouse or because marriage never has been concluded

E. A. Pershenko (personal A. E., 1979) developed the following classification of families:

1. Structural composition:

Full family (there is a mother and father);

Incomplete family (there is only mother or father);

A distorted or deformed family (the presence of a stepfather instead of a father or stepmother instead of a mother).

2. Functional features:

Harmonious family;

Disharmonious family.

Types of family structures by the criterion of power (Antonov A.I., Medkov V.M., 1996) divided into:

parliamentary families, where the head of the family state is father,

egalitarian families in which there are no clearly pronounced family chapters and where the situational distribution of power between father and mother prevails.

Historical forms of family and marriage relations.

A distinctive feature of the traditional Russian family was a living by unrequited multi-poliet families. In fact, the family and the genus were unrequited concepts. In pre-revolutionary Russia, rural population prevailed, life and family were subordinate to patriarchal relations. The man is a minider, the breadwinner and the defender traditionally opposed to a woman - mother, a keeper of a homemade hearth. In jurisdiction, there were exterior life, public relations, in the jurisdiction of a woman - the whole way and the inner world of the family.

At that time, in patriarchal Russian families, there was its own specificity: the wife of the head of the family, "Bolkhuha", had a rather serious impact on other family members and her husband. No wonder there is a proverb: "The husband in the house is head, and the wife - the neck, as it turns - it will be."

In an ancient Russian family, there were three types of relationships: blood relationship, adoption - and the property. The property meant the relationship for marriage, that is, the relationship between one spouse and blood relatives of another spouse, as well as between the relatives of the spouses. Marriages between delicacies were not allowed, as well as between blood relatives.

In different periods of Russian history there were several forms of marriage. In the pre-Christian period, a violent abduction was common in Slavic tribes - "Locking" of the bride. Over time and strengthening the relationship between childbirth and tribes, violent abduction began to be replaced with symbolic, in coordination with relatives and the bride. It is from those pagans, the time has been preserved until today's joking custom, hide the bride at the wedding, when the bridegroom should find it and even pay a ransom. In some national cultures, the rite of abduction of the bride is still alive.

I must say that much later, already in the Christian period, the time of marriage was linked to the calendar of agricultural work. This strictly followed the church, forbidding or allowing the wedding at a certain time of the year.

There was another form of marriage - bringing. She concluded that the bride was in the house to the bridegroom with dowry and left there.

It must be remembered that at that time, and a lot later the acquaintance of the bride and the groom was optional. Love and mutual sympathy have never been considered necessary for marriage. Since then, I reached us saying: "Corrects - I'm wondering." They will become young husband and wife, and love or habit will come.

Modern socio-psychological model of family relationships.

The socio-psychological model of family relations reflects the typology of families, the structure, form, the styles of education, as well as the problems of the modern family.

Family is a complex social education. Researchers determine it as a historically specific system of relationship between spouses, between parents and children, as a small group, whose members are associated with marriage or related relations, generality and mutual moral responsibility, as a social necessity, which is due to the needs of society in the physical and spiritual reproduction of the population.

Family relations are regulated by the norms of morality and law. Their basis is marriage - legitimate recognition of the relationship between men and women who are accompanied by the birth of children and responsibility for the physical and moral health of family members. An important conditions for the existence of families are joint activities and a certain spatial location - housing, home, property as the economic basis of its life, as well as the general cultural environment in the framework of the general culture of a certain people, denomination, state. Thus, a family is based on unified universal activities. The community of people connected by the bonds of marriage - kinship (blood and spiritual), which performs the reproduction of the population and the continuity of family generations, as well as the socialization of children and the support of family members. Forms of families are diverse, their typology depends on the subject of study.

A monogamous and polygamy family are distinguished. The monogamous family consists of a marriage couple - a husband and wife; The polygamine is a marriage of one with several (Polyandria - a marriage of one woman with several men, poliginal - marriage of one man with several women).

Related ties determine simple, nuclear, type complex, advanced, family type. Typologizing family structures should be noted that the most common in modern urbanized agglomerations (urbanization [from lat. Urbanus - urban] is a concentration of material and spiritual life in cities; agglomeration [from Lat. Agglomerare - to attach, accumulate] - accumulation) are nuclear families consisting of parents and children, i.e. Of the two generations.

An expanded family unites two or more nuclear families with a common economy and consists of three or more generations - the progenitors, parents and children (grandchildren). Together with spouses in repeated families (repeated marriage), children may be children from this marriage and children of spouses from the previous marriage, cited in a new family.

Social orientation and legal capacity.

The following types of socio-axiological orientation of the family are distinguished:

social and progressive (support for the values \u200b\u200bof society, unity of views, good interpersonal relationships);

contradictory (lack of unity of views, relationships at the level of struggle of some trends with others);

antisocial (contradiction of value ideals of society ideals).

There are also biocosality and activity of the family. Family capacity can be:

limited (due to psychosomatic, age characteristics, its members are unable to independently earn the means to existence and fit into the system of social relations - pensioners, disabled);

temporarily limited (psychosomatic, age features only temporarily limit socio-economic independence; for example, families experiencing any kind of social cataclysms, including unemployment, having children who have not achieved working age, families of disabled);

unlimited (family members have a full range of opportunities to fit into social space and adapt to changing conditions that are not wearing the nature of the social cataclysm).

Formation of a married couple.

In the formation of a married couple, two periods are distinguished: a preching (before the adoption of a pair of decisions on marriage) and the prebrid (before the conclusion of the marriage union).

It is empirically proven that the source of difficulties in family life can be the features of the choice of a partner, the nature of the breast and premissal courtship, the decision on marriage.

In the study of the married couple (marriage union), who appeal in the psychological consultation, it is necessary to understand that the spouses together and so far supports their marriage, how the process of forming a married couple, as each of them chose a partner - on the basis of just one of the similarities with or relying on more complex emotional and environmental factors.

One of the first to reflect on the reasons for marriage founder of classical psychoanalysis 3. Freud.. His psychoanalytic theory relies on the assumption of imposition that children experience to the opposite sex. Thanks to the complex unconscious process, they can carry the love experienced by them to this parent, and socially appropriate, objects on their potential spouses. It is probably why many young men would like to meet the future companion of life, similar to their mother, and very often girls pay attention to young men, similar to their fathers.

The theory of complementary needs (complementary needs) R. Yincha It is based on the old one as the world, principle, that the opposites are attracted. R. YUINCH writes that in the choice of the spouse, each individual is looking for from whom the maximum satisfaction of needs. Lovers must have the similarity of social traits and psychologically complement each other.

The tool theory of selection of spouses developed by R. Senthers, Also pays primary attention to satisfying needs, but at the same time it claims that some needs are more important than others, some of them are more inherent to men than women, and vice versa. According to R. Senters, a person entails whose needs to be similar to his own or complement them.

Psychological theories of the choice of a marriage partner.

There are several theories describing how we choose our marriage partners.

Supporters of the theory of Homogamia They argue that "exchanged" may not be any man and a woman, but only those who possess the same "social value", or Homogamy. In other words, we try to choose a partner within our social level, in the territorial proximity, among people of our race.

The theory of "complementary needs" (Winch R.) lies in the assumption that the principle of "Homogamia" works only in the socio-cultural sphere. And when it comes to the character, the opposites are attracted. So, for example, the powerful man will attract a meek woman, and a calm and soft man can go to an energetic and straight woman.

Tool theory The selection of spouses developed by Senthers also pays primary attention to meeting the needs, but at the same time it claims that some needs (for example, sexual and need for belonging) are more important than others, and that some needs are more inherent to men than women, and vice versa. According to Senthers, a person entails whose needs are similar to his own or complement them.

Theory "Stimulus-Value-Role", Created by B. Merster, is based on two important parcels:

1) at each stage of development of the relationship between partners, the strength of the relationship depends on the so-called equality of exchange (the advantages of advantages and the minuses of each, each person tries to marry with the most attractive partner for himself);

2) The marriage selection includes a series of consecutive stages, or filters. Three stages are distinguished: the stimulus (partner's attractiveness) is the value (similarity of views) - the role (compliance of the role-playing behavior of its expectations).

The specificity of the breast period.

The results of many studies have shown: a set of trigger factors that prompted young people to conclude a family alliance, significantly affects the success of adaptation of spouses in the first years of living together, for the strength of marriage or the probability of divorce. Such prefabricant factors are:

place and situation of dating young people;

the first impression of each other (positive, negative, ambivalent, indifferent);

socio-demographic characteristics of marriage;

the duration of the courtship period;

marriage offer initiator: young man, girl, parents, others;

the time of thinking of the marriage supply;

the situation of marriage;

the age of the future pair;

parents and the ratio of the last to marriage of their children;

dynamic and characterological features of spouses;

attitude in the family with brothers and sisters.

It has been established that beneficial affects marriage relationships:

acquaintance at work or in an educational institution;

mutual positive first impression;

period of courtship from one to one and a half years;

the initiative of the marriage proposal from the man;

acceptance of a sentence after a short thinking (up to two weeks);

maintenance of registration of marriage with a wedding celebration.

Short (up to six months) or long (more than three years) period of courtship. For a short time, as a rule, young people cannot deeply learn each other and verify the correctness of their decision to enter into marriage, and for a long period of courtship often there are monotony of communication, stereotype in the behavior of partners, which can lead to cooling in relationships - such a couple Either does not create a family or disintegrate.

Motivation to make a decision on marriage.

The most significant for the premissal period is the motivation of marriage. The decision-making is often polymedized, such motifs can be distinguished: love, debt, spiritual proximity, material calculation, psychological compliance, moral considerations.

Any of them may be leading, but young people most often put on the first place love.

As part of psychological science, systematic analysis of the problems of love began in the 40s. XX century The first works about love were mainly theoretical, today much more empirical studies.

Psychologists consider love to be an electoral attitude to the representative of the opposite sex as a unique intentional personality. The focus on the object of love should not be one-sided, selfish and implies identifying itself with the object of love, replacing the "I" on "we" (but without losing your individuality).

In modern psychology, there are models of love, which are conditionally divided into "pessimistic" and "optimistic".

Pessimistic theorists He emphasize the moment of dependence in love from the object of his love and the connection of love with negative experiences, primarily with the fear of love. Love, according to the authors of "pessimistic" models, makes a person anxious and dependent, prevents his personal development. One partner as it would be "dissolved" in the other, losing its individuality. This pair does not replace the "I" on "We". In limiting cases, love can be a symptom of personal pathology.

"Optimistic" models of love associated with the concept of A. Maslow and other representatives of humanistic psychology.

Love in these models is characterized by removing anxiety and full psychological comfort. The cornerstone of the "wholesale mystical" models is the idea of \u200b\u200bthe independence of the in love with the object of love, which is combined with a positive installation on it. According to theorists of the "optimistic" direction, such love makes people happy and provides personal growth opportunities.

The study of marriage motives in dysfunctional families held domestic family psychotherapists E.G. Aememieller and V. Justitskyis. They managed to identify the following motifs: escape from parents, musting (marriage from a sense of duty), loneliness, following traditions (parent initiative), love, prestige, search for material goods.

The motive "escape from parents" often means a passive protest against the power of the parents, the inability to perceive life in its entire real completeness.

The conclusion of marriage on the "Due Management" motive very often means that the partner of pregnant or sex intimacy was accompanied by the experiences of guilt.

The motive "loneliness" is found in people who moved to a new place of residence. They concluded marriage with those people who knew earlier or whom they recommended colleagues ("You live alone, and your hostess has a daughter in Kazan. She is so good and lonely, see ..."). In other cases, loneliness was a consequence of the experience of existential void. Formation of a married couple is a complex process associated with various kinds of difficulties and problems. Well, if young people independently find effective ways out of these problems, otherwise they need psychological assistance that they can get in the centers and palaces of young people in psychological advice on the registry office.

Family well-being factors.

The first condition for family well-being, of course, the love and attachment of spouses is considered. And the importance of such feelings in this matter is unlikely to be denying anyone. Together with this, it should be noted that only for love marriage will not be able to hold out for a long time. After all, the mutual passion and a romantic attitude, which is characterized by the initial period of relations, last not as long as I would like.

Experts revealed the main factors of family well-being, which should be taken into account to everyone who is going to start a joint life with a loved person: the focus on the spouse; Sympathy and trust; Communication without conflict; Understanding; Sexual satisfaction; Material well-being.

Focus on spouse It is the most important condition for family well-being, since it acts as the basis of mutual understanding. It implies attentive attitude towards interests, preferences, habits of a loved one. Ideally, the spouses should take their actions only with the desires and needs of each other.

Sympathy and trust Also are the necessary factors of family well-being, because if you do not experience sympathy for a person with whom you are going to live, the marriage union is doomed to failure. And when there is no confidence in the relationship, love is gradually coming down, since her place is occupied by eternal suspicions, jealousy and discontent.

Normal communicationwithout constant quarrels and conflicts should be present in every good family. People need to share their emotions, impressions and experiences with loved ones, so you need to create houses such an atmosphere that has spouses to mutual frankness and trust relationships. Understanding Performs one of the most important conditions for family well-being. In order to achieve it, the spouses will need a lot of time and tests. But the key point here can be called condescension and tolerance in relation to each other, which are excellent qualities to create a solid family.

Sexual satisfaction Also very often comes with years of living together, as partners do not immediately learn each other's preference: it takes time and desire. When people bind a mutual strong feeling, almost all sexual problems are solvable. This is due to the strong desire of both to give pleasure to her spouse. An important factor in family well-being is also material security of the family. It is no secret to anyone that financial difficulties that are chronic in nature very quickly affect the relationship between the married couple. Household problems that cannot be solved, debts and nervous stresses caused by all this prevent people to enjoy their feeling and live in harmony. After all, the lion's share of family conflicts is associated with the topic of money.

Psychological health of the family. Promotional families. Dysfunctional families.

Socio-psychological support may need any family, although in varying degrees. Especially needing the help of family passive. They have small their own potential to resolve crisis situations. There are families according to ways to respond to stress, conflict situations and regulatory crises (associated with certain stages of family functioning). The basis of this typology is the phenomenon of the psychological health of the family - the integral indicator of its functioning, which reflects the qualitative side of the socio-psychological processes of the family, the indicator of the social activity of its members in intra-family relations, in the social environment and in the professional sphere, as well as the state of the spiritual psychological well-being of the family, providing adequate living conditions for the regulation of behavior and activities of all its members. This indicator characterizes the two main types of families.

Promotional families. Their problems are usually caused by internal contradictions and conflicts that are associated with changing livelihoods in society: 1) with an excessive desire to protect each other, help other family members (indulgent, indulgent hyperpread and excessive guardianship); 2) with the inadequacy of the correlation of its own ideas about the family and the social requirements, which are presented to it at this stage of social development (the difficulties of perception of the contradictions of modern society). Dysfunctional families (Problem, conflict, crisis). Psychological problems arise due to dissatisfaction with the needs of one or more family members under the influence of superstal intra-family and socially valuable vital factors.

The classification of criteria that determine the well-being and socio-psychological health of the family was developed by the World Health Organization (WHO). It includes the following parameters:

The presence of both parents consisting in legitimate (legally executed) marriage, and children raising the continuity of generations.

Spiritual moral well-being.

Medical well-being.

Socio-domestic well-being.

Material well-being.

Lack of chronic family conflicts.

Satisfaction with marriage, relations in it.

A single approach to raising children from parents.

Healthy family lifestyle.

The main problems of economically vulnerable and dysfunctional large families can be divided into the following blocks:

economic and logistical (extremely low family income, unsatisfactory housing conditions, lack of necessary things, etc.);

medical and social (loose health of family members, due to poor nutrition, the inability to use high-quality medicines and paid medical services, the development of chronic diseases, in cases of dysfunctionality - low sanitary and hygienic culture, neglect of children's health);

psychological and pedagogical (limited educational potential of the family, due to the impossibility, sufficient attention will be paid to every child in the case of dysfunctionality - violations of the psychosocial development of children, conflicts and destructive interpersonal relations). Among the asocial families, alcoholized and narcotic families are distinguished, as well as families with divinted members (including those attracted to criminal responsibility) and families in which violence is committed.

Critical periods in the development of marital relations.

By definition: "Family crisis is a state of a family system, which is characterized by a violation of equilibrium, which leads to the ineffectiveness of the usual ways of relationships in the family, and the inability to cope with the new situation using old behaviors."

All families undergo development stages, and at each stage there are certain tasks in front of them. These tasks need to be solved, otherwise turning on the next stage, these unresolved tasks will slow down the passage of the next stage of development.

First regulatory family crisis - This is the acceptance of marital duties.

He is experiencing a young family without children when moving from a single to pair existence is a period of addiction, wipes. The main task of this period is the adaptation of the spouses to family life and each other. Family development tasks at this stage:

1. Establishing the inner borders of the family and borders of communicating with friends and relatives.

2. Resolution of the conflict between family and personal needs.

3. Solving the problem of the family hierarchy and areas of responsibility.

4. Achieving sexual harmony (sexual adaptation).

5. Decision of housing problems and acquiring its own property.

The danger of this period is that the ideal appearance of the chosen or chosen is increasingly becoming real features, not always cute. Comes to an understanding of whom the fate brought and how simple, or it is difficult to find a common language with a partner.

The second responsible period - This is the birth of the first child.

The crisis period of life of the family is to master the spouses of parental roles and the adoption of the fact of the appearance in the family of a new person. The main task of developing a young family with a child is the reorganization of the family to solve new tasks, such as:

1. Care for a small child.

2. Coordination of personal and family goals.

3. Mastering the spouses of new roles - parents.

4. Overcoming the difficulties of the allocation of attention, love and care is already between three close people.

5. And also at the new level, the construction of relationships with parents, which have become grandparents.

Third crisis period (five to seven years marriage) is associated with the admission of a child to school or in a preschool institution, that is, external social structures. The fact is that the "product of educational activities of parents" turns out to be an object of universal review. The family is "checked on the effectiveness of the Rules of Education," which the child receives in it. If a child, as a "family representative", leaving for the outside world (going to school) copes with school requirements, then the family is "effective." If not, the child can get into the role of a person who disgraces the family. The "unsuccessful" child usually does not receive support and help in such a "inefficient family", because there are no internal rules in it, all family rules are attached to social. (In such a family, the teacher is always right, an adult cannot be criticized, he received a twice - it's guilty himself).

Fourth Critical Period It is associated with the adoption of the fact of the child's entry into a teenage period, which is often complicated by the coincidence with the personal crisis of middle-aged among the parents (time to summarize the life of life). This stage of mature marriage, usually spouses 37 - 40 years old and lived together for about 10-15 years. The main tasks of the development of the family at this stage:

1. Redistribution of autonomy and control between parents and children.

2. Changing the type of parental behavior and roles (adult communication with adults).

3. Preparation for the care of a teenager in adulthood (choice of profession, experimentation with its independence).

Fifth not an easy period In the life of the family is associated with leaving the growing children of the house, gaining their emotional and financial independence, creating their families with them. The main task of the development of the family at this stage is to create conditions for correct care from the house of grew up children. If there is a conscious installation to a joint development and a timely manner, difficulties in relationships are revealed in a timely manner, the possibility of spouses appears to correct their behavior and together to overcome the difficult moments of family life.

Family conflicts and their prevention.

What types of family development stages can be called crisis?

The period of "wipes" when the newlyweds learn to live like a married couple;

Birth of the first child and mastering the role of mom and dad;

The birth of subsequent children;

When a child goes to school;

Children enter adolescent age;

Consulting children and care from the parental house;

Middle-aged spouse crisis;

Pension spouses

Each of these stages can create various stressful situations that, in turn, are able to serve as a potential reason for the family conflict.

Changes in the marital status and in family affairs can also contribute to the occurrence of voltage. It may be:

Divorce or traveling of spouses;

Moving to a new place of residence;

Business trips for long distances and for a long time;

The need to work in another state;

Change in the financial position of the family

Psychologists allocate various types of family conflicts:

Actually conflicts. Even in a happy and healthy, normally functioning family, there are quarrels from time to time. Confrontation may be caused by the inconsistency of views and goals from different family members. Conflicts can be solved, and then they do not threaten the stability of family bonds. Contradictions in the family can occur at all levels, that is, brothers and sisters, spouses can quarrel with each other, as well as parents and children.

Tension. Psychologists are tension called long-standing, unresolved conflicts. They can be obvious and open, but can be simply temporarily depressed. In any case, they accumulate and cause negative emotions, leading to constant irritability, aggressiveness and dislike, which ultimately causes a loss of contact between family members.

A crisis. It can be said when the conflict and tension reached such a stage, in which all the negotiation models have been starting to endure Fiasco, and, consequently, the real needs of individuals or a whole group of households chronically remain dissatisfied. Crisis often lead to family disorganization, that is, certain obligations of spouses in front of each other or the obligations of parents with respect to children cease to be carried out properly. And the disorganization of the family, in turn, often ends with its collapse.

Here are some examples:

Impossibility to express their feelings. In families with an unhealthy psychological climate, its members tend to hide their feelings and reject their manifestations with other people. They do it mainly in order to avoid spiritual pain and psychological injuries.

No connection. In disadvantaged families, open communication between relatives takes place very rarely. If family conflicts arise, family members begin to avoid each other, emotionally aligning and closing in themselves.

Manifestations of anger. If some problems arise, the unhealthy family is trying to hide them, instead of meeting face to face and try to solve them. In such a family, there are often disputes about who is responsible for the emergence of a particular problem, and such disputes most often lead to an emot outbreaks and even to the use of force.

Manipulation. Manipulators express their anger and disappointment of the only available method: they are trying to put pressure on others to cause them a feeling of guilt and shame. Thus, they try to achieve others to do what the manipulators want themselves.

Negative attitude to lifeand each other. In some families, everyone belongs to the rest with some suspicion and distrust. They do not know what optimism is, and they, as a rule, absolutely no sense of humor. Relatives have very few common interests and rarely find a common topic for conversation.

It all depends on the specific situation and from a particular family. Here are the main "tools", with the help of which you can correct the complex situation:

Identification of the problem;

Clarification of the causes of the position occupied and the manifestation of empathy (empathy);

Take action to eliminate the conflict;

Change of attitude towards such a situation: Understanding the position of the opposing party eliminates possible conflicts in the future. Understanding is the best conflict prevention.

Divorce as a socio-psychological phenomenon.

The problem of divorce is in close connection with a change in the type of relationship in a modern family: new family models generate their own forms of breaking these relationships.

Divorce, as a rule, is not a single event and has its own development history. According to a study conducted at the end of the 90s. XX century V. V. Solodnikov, in the prejudice situation, the spouses turn to help not consult on family and marriage, and to relatives and friends: to the mother - 75.8%, friends - 51.8%, father - 39.2%, And also to lawyers - 10.2%, psychologists and doctors - 4.9%. Waiting for support and sympathy from friends and parents, a person who appeared in the prejudice situation is often in a state of confusion, loss of life values.

Researchers identify the reasons for divorces:

strengthening economic independence and social equality of women;

orientation when creating a family for personal happiness, primarily on mutual marital love, increased requirements for the partner chosen by love;

insufficiently developed sense of debt from one of the partners;

family destruction in the case when love is sacrificed by random connection.

Most often the following divorce motives are distinguished: the absence of common views and interests (including religious disagreements), inconsistency (incompatibility) of characters, violation of marital loyalty, lack or loss of sense of love, love for another, frivolous attitude to married duties, bad relationships with Parents (intervention of parents and other relatives), drunkenness (alcoholism) of a spouse, lack of normal housing conditions, sexual dissatisfaction.

When studying divorces, there are four groups of factors (W. Hood).

Probability Communication between the social origin of man and his attitude to the divorce. As you know, the urban population divorces more often than residents of the countryside.

different types Social pressure on an individual due to a divorce. For example, the disapproval of marriage or divorce with relatives or significant persons for him.

Method Selection of marriage partners.

Easy or difficulty Sophisticated adaptation between people of various social origin.

Divorce does not occur suddenly. He, as a rule, is preceded by a period of intense or conflict relations in the family.

During the divorce and period of legal disputes, the left spouse is experiencing pity, helplessness, feeling of despair and anger. The time of self-examination and return to equilibrium after the divorce. The main problem of this period is loneliness and conflicting feelings accompanying it: indecision, optimism, regret, sadness, curiosity, excitement. Behavior acquires a new orientation: the search for new friends begins, activity appears, the new lifestyle and routine of the day are stabilized for children, new responsibilities are formed for all family members. Psychological divorce - at the emotional level is a readiness for actions, confidence in yourself, energy, intrinsicness, independence and autonomy. On cognitive-behavioral - synthesis of new identity and the end of the psychological divorce; Search for new facilities for love and readiness for long-term relationships. Therapeutic care is possible in the form of parental, family, group therapy for children and adults.

Psychology of family - A relatively young industry of psychological knowledge, which is in the stage of its formation. It is based on the richest practice of family psychotherapy, the experience of psychological assistance to the family and family counseling, the practice of psychological counseling of parents on the education and development of children and adolescents. A distinctive feature of the psychology of the family as a scientific discipline was its inextricable connection with psychological practice. It is a social request for optimizing the life of the family, an increase in the effectiveness of marital and parental relations, the solution of the problems of education of children in the family accelerated the development and process of institutionalization of this scientific discipline. The change in the demographic situation is the fall in fertility and, as a result, an increase in the specific gravity of single-equipment families - leads to the difficulties of personal development and the insufficient communicative competence of children raising children in such families. The unsatisfactory level of implementation by the father of educational function in a significant number of Russian families should be stated. Along with a favorable trend of the active inclusion of the Father in the process of education, at the stage of early childhood childhood, the child's distance is as brightly advocated a tendency to distance the Father from the problems of education, its low emotional involvement and orientation to parenthood - meaningful factor in achieving personal identity and psychological maturity. The migration of the population associated with employment and the peculiarities of professional activities led to the increase in the number of functionally incomplete families in which one of the spouses cannot constantly fulfill its roles.

The theoretical basis of the family psychology has been research in social psychology, personality psychology, developmental psychology, pedagogical psychology, clinical psychology. Social psychology, based on the idea of \u200b\u200bthe family as a small group, studies the questions of the role structure of the family and leadership in the family, the stage of development of the family as a group, the problems of choosing a marriage partner, family cohesion problems, family conflicts and ways of their permission. Development Psychology and Age Psychology The focus of its study made the patterns of personality development in the family in different age stages, the content, conditions and factors of socialization, the problems of education of the child in the family, the psychological features of child-parent relations. Age-psychological counseling aimed at monitoring the progress of the psychic development of the child, the prevention and correction of negative development trends, considers family and family education as the most important component of the social situation of the child's development. Family education and pedagogy have always been the most important branch of pedagogical science. Personality Psychology considers communication and interpersonal relations in the family as a basis for personal growth and self-realization, develops forms and methods for optimizing the personality development of a person, taking into account the family resources. In the framework of clinical psychology, intimidian relations are considered as an important factor in the context of the problems of etiology, therapy and rehabilitation after overcoming mental disorders and deviations. So, the system of scientific knowledge mined in various fields of psychological research, the experience of practicing psychological assistance to family and family counseling has created the theoretical basis of modern family psychology, which is the actual task of which is the integration of knowledge about the family and practical experience with family in a complete psychological discipline - family psychology . The subject of family psychology is the functional structure of the family, the main patterns and the dynamics of its development; Family development.

The tasks of family psychology include:

• study of the patterns of the formation and development of the functional role structure of the family at various stages of its life cycle;
• study of the breast period, the characteristics of the search and the choice of the marriage partner;
• study of the psychological peculiarities of marital relations;
• study of the psychological characteristics of child-parent relations;
• studying the role of family education in the development of the child in various age stages;
• study of non-normative family crises and developing strategies for their overcoming.

Olga Aleksandrovna Karabanova. Psychology of family relationships and the foundations of family counseling

Psychologist Series Universalis

Founded by the Publishing House "Gardarika" in 2000

Moscow, Gardarians 2005

Recommended by the Council on Psychology of the UMO on the Classical University Education as a teaching aid for students of higher educational institutions studying in the direction and specialties of psychology.

The study manual discusses the problems of genesis, development and functioning of the family as a holistic system in the unity of its structural and functional components. The main characteristics of marital relations (emotional connections, role-playing family structure, features of communication, cohesion), harmonious and disharmonious families are given. Particular attention is paid to the parental relations and problems of raising children in the family, the emotional relations of parents and children, including the specifics of the parent and father's love, attachment of the child, the parameters of family education.

Addressed to students of psychological and pedagogical universities, specialists working with families, practical psychologists, teachers, social workers, as well as parents.

Introduction

The subject and objectives of the psychology of the family

The psychology of the family is a relatively young industry of psychological knowledge in the stage of its formation. It is based on the richest practice of family psychotherapy, the experience of psychological assistance to the family and family counseling, the practice of psychological counseling of parents on the education and development of children and adolescents. A distinctive feature of the psychology of the family as a scientific discipline was its inextricable connection with psychological practice. It is a social request for optimizing the life of the family, an increase in the effectiveness of marital and parental relations, the solution of the problems of education of children in the family accelerated the development and process of institutionalization of this scientific discipline.

Over the past decade, a number of disturbing trends have emerged, indicating crisis phenomena in the life of families affecting both marital and parental relations. The relevance of the development of a new scientific discipline - family psychology is associated with the general deterioration of the psychological atmosphere and the growth of dysfunctional and conflict in a significant part of Russian families. These adverse trends are explained by socio-economic conditions: the instability of the social system, low material lifetime, professional employment problems in most regions of Russia, the transformation of the traditionally established role-playing structure of the family and the distribution of role-playing functions between spouses. The number of unfavorable families in which the deviant behavior of spouses - alcoholism, aggression, - violations of communication, unsatisfied the needs of partners in respect, love and recognition are the cause of increasing emotional and personal disorders, tensions, loss of sense of love and security, personal growth and identity impairment .

The change in the demographic situation is the fall in fertility and, as a result, an increase in the specific gravity of single-equipment families - leads to the difficulties of personal development and the insufficient communicative competence of children raising children in such families. The unsatisfactory level of implementation by the father of educational function in a significant number of Russian families should be stated. Along with a favorable trend of the active inclusion of the Father in the process of education, at the stage of early childhood childhood, the child's distance is as brightly advocated a tendency to distance the Father from the problems of education, its low emotional involvement and orientation to parenthood - meaningful factor in achieving personal identity and psychological maturity. The migration of the population associated with employment and the peculiarities of professional activities led to the increase in the number of functionally incomplete families in which one of the spouses cannot constantly fulfill its roles.

The disharmonicity of the family education system is a fairly common symptom of dysfunction of the modern Russian family, where the actual indicators of the disharmony of the family-style education should consider increasing cases of ill-treatment of children, hypoprotection and contradictory education.

An increase in the number of divorces is at least 1/3 families who have entered into marriage falls apart - it became one of the most acute social problems. The price of the divorce turns out to be extremely large. According to stressness, divorce occupies one of the first places among difficult life events. The result of divorce and decay of the family becomes the formation of an incomplete family, mainly maternal type. In a significant number of cases in such a family, the mother overload is observed and, as a result, reducing education efficiency. Psychological consequences of divorce and raising children in an incomplete family are violations of the development of the I-Concept, violations of the formation of sexual identity, affective violations, violations of communication with peers and the family.

Another social problem is the increase in the number of unofficial (civilian) marriages. For the period from 1980s to 2000, the number of civil marriages increased six times; 30% of men aged 18 to 30 years old live in civil marriage, 85% are in the future, and only 40% of prisoners are preserved. The main reason for the preferences of civil marriages is the unpretentiousness of the spouses to take on all completeness of responsibility for family, partner and children. By virtue of this, the family living in civil marriage is often characterized by destructogenicity, conflict, low security.

Another social problem is associated with an increase in the number of children who remain without parental care, in particular a sharp increase in social orphanhood (with living parents). Today, such orphans have more than 500 thousand, the causes of social orphanhood are the increase in cases of deprivation of parental rights (approx. 25%), the refusal of parents from the child and the transfer of parental rights to the state (60%), the temporary placement of children with parents in children's homes and children's homes due to severe material and economic situation of the family (15%). In case of deprivation of parental rights in the overwhelming majority of families (more than 90%), the father and mother suffer from alcoholism. A voluntary refusal of parenthood is most often due to a child's illness, severe material and living conditions, usually in an incomplete family. The number of street children is increasing. Thus, the insufficiently thought-out housing privatization system led to a sharp increase in homeless children. The expansion of the network of social and rehabilitation centers and social shelves allows to a certain extent to ensure the necessary level of protection and social adaptation of such children, but no number of such institutions nor the level of psychological assistance provided to pupils in these centers cannot be recognized as sufficient and satisfactory to ensure the conditions of their full-fledged mental development.

Reduction and depletion of communication in the family, the deficit of emotional heat, adoption, low awareness of parents about the real needs, interests and problems of the child, the lack of cooperation and cooperation in the family lead to the emergence of difficulties in the development of children. At the same time, you can state the tendency to shift the parental functions for children's educational institutions (kindergartens, schools), as well as specially invited personnel (nanny, governess) and, thus, self-sustaining parents from the process of raising a child.

The theoretical basis of the family psychology has been research in social psychology, personality psychology, developmental psychology, pedagogical psychology, clinical psychology. Social psychology, based on the idea of \u200b\u200bthe family as a small group, studies the questions of the role structure of the family and leadership in the family, the stage of development of the family as a group, the problems of choosing a marriage partner, family cohesion problems, family conflicts and ways of their permission. Development Psychology and Age Psychology The focus of its study made the patterns of personality development in the family in different age stages, the content, conditions and factors of socialization, the problems of education of the child in the family, the psychological features of child-parent relations. Age-psychological counseling aimed at monitoring the progress of the psychic development of the child, the prevention and correction of negative development trends, considers family and family education as the most important component of the social situation of the child's development. Family education and pedagogy have always been the most important branch of pedagogical science. Personality Psychology considers communication and interpersonal relations in the family as a basis for personal growth and self-realization, develops forms and methods for optimizing the personality development of a person, taking into account the family resources. In the framework of clinical psychology, intimidian relations are considered as an important factor in the context of the problems of etiology, therapy and rehabilitation after overcoming mental disorders and deviations. So, the system of scientific knowledge extracted in various fields of psychological research, the experience of practicing psychological assistance to family and family counseling has created theoretical basis of modern family psychology, which is the urgent task of which is the integration of knowledge of the family and practical experience with family to a holistic psychological discipline - family psychology.

The subject of the psychology of the family are the functional structure of the family, the main patterns and the dynamics of its development; Family development.

Objectives of family psychology include:

• study of the patterns of the formation and development of the functional role structure of the family at various stages of its life cycle;
• study of the breast period, the characteristics of the search and the choice of the marriage partner;
• study of the psychological peculiarities of marital relations;
• study of the psychological characteristics of child-parent relations;
• studying the role of family education in the development of the child in various age stages;
• study of non-normative family crises and developing strategies for their overcoming.

Practical knowledge app In the field of family psychology, the following activities of the Family Psychologist and Family Consultant implies:

• psychological consulting on marriage, including the choice of a marriage partner and marriage;
• consulting on matters of marital relations (diagnosis, correction, prevention);
• psychological assistance to the family in crisis situations and for divorces;
• counseling, diagnosis, prevention and correction of child-parent relations;
• psychological consulting on the education and development of children and adolescents (diagnosis, prevention, correction of violations and developmental deviations);
• psychological advice on the issues of education of "risk groups" and gifted children;
• psychological assistance in the adoption and education of adoptive children;
• psychological prevention of deviations and violations of the development of children and adolescents, raising "without family" (in conditions of deprivation of communicating with close adults);
• psychological counseling and maintenance of pregnancy and childbirth;
• psychological support of parenthood formation.

Questions and tasks

3.1. Theoretical provisions of social and clinical Psychology Family needed by a specialist for working with the projective method "Family Sociogram"

Family definition.

Areas of its psychological study

A family - This is the cell of society (a small social group) and the most important form of organizing personal life. It is based on the marital union and related links - relations between husband and wife, parents and children, brothers and sisters and other relatives living together and leading joint economy [Solovyov N. Ya., 1977].

In psychological science, the family is studying primarily within the framework of social and clinical (medical) psychology.

Subject of social family psychology - These are psychological patterns, peculiarities of behavior, interaction and communication of people caused by their inclusion in the family as a social group, as well as the characteristics of the family as a small group.

Subject of clinical psychology of the family There are features of family functioning in their meaning for diagnosis, treatment and prevention of diseases, as well as preserving and promoting the health of family members [Nikolskaya I. M., / 1M) \\ 2009].

The most important characteristics of the family it is customary to consider its functions, structure and dynamics [Eidelieller E. G., Yustitsky V., Aemethyller E. G. with Soval., 2003]. Functions show that the family is everyday "doing", the structure - as a family is arranged, the dynamics - how it changes in the process of its development.

In addition to these characteristics, in this section we will look at both the ionic indicators of the family as a system: the structure of family (shley, external and internal boundaries, family subsystems, etc.

Family functions.

Concepts normally functioning

And dysfunctional family

Function - This is the vital activity of the family related to the satisfaction of certain needs of its members. The fulfillment of its functions is not only for family members, but also for society as a whole.

Household function It assumes the satisfaction of the material needs of family members (in food, blood, etc.). This contributes to the preservation of their physical health, the restoration of physical forces spent in different activities.

Sexual erotic function Family is to satisfy sexually erotic needs. Taking into account the public norms and requirements, it is important that the family does the regulation of sexually erotic behavior and ensures the biological reproduction of members of society.

Educational function Families concerns the individual needs of a man and women in paternity and motherhood, in contacts with children and their upbringing, as well as the fact that parents can realize themselves in children. For society, this function ensures the socialization of children and the preparation of new members of society.

Emotional function Families involves meeting the needs of family members in sympathy, respect, recognition, emotional support, psychological security. This preserves mental health, contributes to emotional and personal stabilization.

Function of spiritual (cultural) communication Related to the need for joint leisure, mutual spiritual enrichment and contributes to the spiritual development of family members.

Primary Social Control Function Provides members of the family of social norms. This is especially true of those who, by virtue of age or clinical features, are not able to build their behavior in accordance with the norms of society.

Failure to comply with the family of their basic functions leads to violations of the physical and mental health of family members, adaptation disorders, family breakdown. For example, a violation of a sexual-erotic function not only leads to marital conflicts and divorce, but also provokes a family occurrence of severe neuropsychiatric disorders. Failure to fulfill the parents of primary social control functions in relation to their children can be the cause of deviating and divinted behavior

With this in mind, based on the concept of family functions, two main types of families are distinguished: normally functioning and dysfunctional [Eideller E. G., Dobryakov I. V., Nikolskaya I. M. 2003].

Normally functioning family - This is a family that is responsible and differential performs all its functions, as a result of which the need for growth and changes as a family as a whole and each of its member is satisfied.

Dysfunctional family - This is a family in which the execution of one or more functions is broken. As a result, the needs of family members and family are not satisfied as a whole. This prevents the personal growth of family members, blocks the need for self-actualization, leads to the emergence of symptoms of neuropsychiatric disorders, and the family can lead to decay.

Pronounced family dysfunction contributes to the formation family role "carrier symptom", Becoming a member of a family who has the smallest social status in it due to various physical or psychological reasons. In the role of the "Symptom carrier", this member of the family library as an important link in the complex mechanism of pathological adaptation as an individual with neuropsychiatric disorders and a dysfunctional family as a whole.

Dysfunctional family- This is a rigid family system. Regardless of the change in external and internal conditions, it hardly tries to maintain the usual standards of interaction between the elements of their subsystems and other systems. The "symptom carrier" allows the family to keep the old existing relationship between its members. Its symptomatic behavior is involuntary, unconscious and is not amenable to control from the patient. It has a relatively strong influence on other people and can be conditionally advantageous not only to the patient, but also family members. The symptom carrier acts as "Identified patient" - Member of the family, clinical and psychological and behavioral problems of which force the family to unite and seek psychological help. However, if the family is considered as a self-regulating system, asymptom, as a regulation mechanism, in the case of the elimination of the symptom, the entire system will be temporarily unregulated and will be forced to go to another level of operation. The specific feature of the dysfunctional family is its rigidity, the desire to preserve the status quo, so it will often be unconsciously resist the changes and try to keep the symptom, despite their appeal to a specialist for help.

Family structure

Structure - This is the composition of family members, as well as a combination of their relationship. In our country, the structure is most common in which the family consists of adults (husband, wives and in some cases of grandparents) and children (usually in the Russian family there are one or two children).

The basis of the family structure is two types of relationships:

domination - subordination (hierarchies, or distribution of V of power);

proximity - remote (communications, or emotional distance between family members).

Hierarchy, Or the distribution of power shows who in the family implements leadership who is the performer, as distributed among family members rights and obligations. From the point of view of the structure, families can be distinguished, where the management is focused in the hands of one family member, and families, where the equal participation of several family members is expressed in management.

According to V. N. Druzhinin, the family dominating member provides. Security, is responsible for the preservation of normal relations between family members, determines the prospects for life and suggesting faith in the future. The dominance of one of the spouses is the necessary condition for the resilience of the family.

In the patriarchal family dominates the father, and in the matriarchal - mother. In the ped-centered family, the child, its needs or whims are psychologically dominated.

In determining the domination, it is important not only who dominates, but also the hierarchy of power-subordination (in order of dominance), for example, the father is a child; Father - child - mother; Mother - Father - Child; Mother - Child - Father; Child - father - mother; Child - mother - father.

With the problem of separation of power and create in the family of hierarchy, each married couple faces. The concept of power is connected not only with the dominance, but also with concern for other family members, responsibility for their change. Spouses share power with each other in different ways. Let's say if there is one of the spouses in the family of solutions associated with the house and upbringing, then in the sphere of power there are solutions related to money and relationships with friends.

For accommodation in the family of parents of her husband or wife, dominance becomes more complex. More often, the power in the family takes her grandmother on the motherboard or grandfather from his father's official. The grandmother replaces the functions of the mother in the family, which begins to perform some Father's functions. Father, in turn, enters the conflict with mother and grandmother for the right to actively participate in the family life.

In cases of the emergence of the difficulties of the relationship between parents, the son or daughter, who equalize parents and occupy the highest steps in the family hierarchy, are often becoming a resource. In the face of children's disadvantaged marital problems, at least move away for a while, the opportunity appears to look at themselves as their parents in which their child needs. It turns into a source of particular concerns from parents who all forces are sent to change behavior for the better. Violations in the behavior of children can, therefore, consider as protective, helping to protect the family from the impending trouble. In other words, the child (identified patient) "as it were" comes to the revenue to both parents at the same time, not suspecting its significant role.

The family, deprived of the duality of the hierarchical organization, when parents returned the position of the highest stage in relation to children, becomes harmonious if the mother and father work together on changing child behavior. In the family organization, parents need to hold a higher position in the hierarchy than children, as they are in the position of seniority and unconditional responsibility for the child.

It is assumed that in a stable family, power and responsibility has the same subject, and family members psychologically closer to him than each other.

It happens that when one of the spouses assigns itself the right to solve the main questions, from which the life of the family depends, and the other becomes ignoraxious and enters into a coalition with the child, which undermines the power of the head of the family.

Sometimes the source of power becomes the disease of one of the family members (depression, alcoholism, fears, psychosomatic disorders). It acts as a means to help achieve relative equilibrium in possession of power.

A harmoniously family will exist in cases where the power distribution in it will not prevent its basic functions aimed at meeting the needs of family members.

Communication (COHESION) is a psychological distance between family members. At different stages of the family life cycle, it happens different, reflecting the changing needs of its members. The general rule is that if the psychological distance is very close (symbiosis) or, on the contrary, very far (disunity), it can lead to family dysfunction. Symbiotic relationships impede the formation of me - the images of family members and block the need ingrow and changes. Disobedience How autonomous existence does not allow the family to carry out its main functions: emotional, spiritual (cultural) communication, primary social control, etc.

Violations of the family structure It makes it difficult to fulfill the family of her functions or impede it, which also leads to the appearance of family dysfunction. For example, when changing the usual composition of the family (Mother's death, the absence of a father, childlessness), the family is immediately determined in the Risk group, since it suffers from the implementation of educational and other functions. No smaller problems may be associated with a violation of relationships. So, too much distance between parents and children leads them to a single autonomous existence, gives rise to a sense of low value and insecurity. Another example is the struggle for power between spouses, which acts as the first push for the quarrel of two of the three distinguished couples. Another example is an uneven distribution between family members of household duties, which leads to overload of women, their unbearable neuropsychiatric tension.

It should be remembered that with the development of the family of its functions normally change: some are lost, others appear in accordance with new social conditions. As a result, the structure of the family is changing. According to sociologists, currently in our country at the same time function Family trimowels Distinguished by their structure: Patriarchal, children's center and marital [Hunger S. I., 1998]. In reality, they mutually intertwine, however, in the practice of family counseling and psychotherapy, it is often possible to meet with extreme varieties of such families that provide both Sangenic and pathogenic influence on their members.

Patriarchal family The most archaic. It is characterized by the relationship of domination-subordination: the dependence of his wife from her husband, children from parents, the youngest child from the elder. And this connection is tight fastening family roles.

Marriage is externally stable, the family consists of several generations: the progenitors, parents and children. Multifier is welcomed, since the household function is one of the most important for this family.

The main in the family is the husband: all economic resources of the family are concentrated in his hands, he takes all major solutions. The wife takes the surname of her husband, he obeys him and respect him. Its basic functions - to give birth and raise children, to keep a household. The family distinguishes parental power and an authoritarian education system.

The rigid hierarchical structure of the patriarchal family can lead to the fact that the subordinate family members, first of all, the wife and children will not be satisfied with the distribution of power that impede the satisfaction of their needs. As a result, this family can turn into dysfunctional with all the consequences resulting from this. For example, the problem of family violence for many regions of our country is actual for many regions of our country is directly related to a family accommodation with this structure.

Children's family elevates the role of privacy, intimacy and values \u200b\u200bof children. The relationship between husband and wife is more or less equal, sexuality practiced in marriage is not only reduced to childbirth. The spouse and regulate the timing and frequency of conception and jointly decide on the number of children. Socialization acquires a different meaning, since only one child can be in the family, which often spends most of the time with his parents, and not with children.

It turns into an object of special parent care and persistent affection, he is trying to give the highest possible education. The main function of the family is educational. Education styles are diverse: from authoritarian to the error. In general, children enjoy a large number of material and spiritual benefits than their parents, and can act as the main meaning of the family. When children grow up, they can separate from their parents, however, separated, do not lose touch with the parent family. Parents provide material and moral support to children, hoping that those, if necessary, come in relation to them properly.

The central position of the child in the children-centered family may in some cases lead to the fact that he gets more power than his parents, and begins to manage their will in his discretion, dictate his will. Another problem of this family model is that too close distances, often symbiotic relationships between the parent (parents) and child can lead to their mutual emotional dependence. As a result, an egocentric adult child from such a family is often not able to live without the support of his parents, and parents, in turn, may interfere with his department, afraid to lose the main meaning of its existence and experiencing anxiety to stay together by creating parental obligations.

Could have changed in the XX century. The social status of a woman, her struggle for equal rights with a man led to the appearance family model. Marriage - This is the personal interaction of a husband and wife, regulated by moral principles and inherent internal values. This interaction is characterized by symmetry of rights and at the same time asymmetry of the roles of her husband and wife,

The conscious promotion of his wife's individuality is conjugate with an increase in the importance of her personal characteristics for him. Of particular importance for the husband began to have sexual expressiveness of his wife, and not only its economic and practical qualities and health, which in the past had a crucial value when choosing a spouse.

Husband and wife stopped unconditionally subordinate their own interests of children's interests, sexuality ceased to be reduced to childbirth, eroticism was characterized for married relations. The marital family model has opened ample opportunities for autonomy and self-realization of each family member: the interests of her husband and wife have become more diverse than family, and their needs and a circle of communication go beyond marriage.

The frequency of regular communication of spouses with their parents, progenitors, brothers, sisters and other relatives in this family is low.

In some cases, spouses can consciously abandon the birth of children, believing that the child's appearance can prevent their close relationships, a successful professional career, personal and spiritual growth.

Reducing the sexual attractiveness of the partner and the loss of interest is often becoming a factor leading to the decay of the marital family. If a child grows in it, then quite often close relations between spouses and their priority lead to its autonomy and personal instability.

Transcript.

1 N.S. Fatal Family Psychology and Family Consulting Tutorial 0

2 Ministry of Education and Science of the Russian Federation Baikal State University of Economics and Right N.S. Fatalova Psychology Family and Family Consulting Tutorial Irkutsk Publishing BSUEP

3 UDC 316.6 (075.8) BBK 88.5 y7 F78 is printed by the decision of the editorial and publishing council of the Baikal State University of Economics and Right Reviews Dr. Psychol. Sciences, prof. TA Terekhova Cand. psychol. Sciences, Doc. IN AND. Rherke Fistalova N.S. F78 Family Psychology and Family Counseling: studies. Manual / N.S. Fistalova. Irkutsk: Publishing House of BSUEP, s. ISBN addresses the types and functions of the family, features of family relationships, the specifics of the choice of the partner, the model of psychological counseling of the family. The manual contains methods of psychological research of family relations, in addition, practical tasks, exercises and issues that can be used to verify the quality of learning students. For students of full-time, correspondence and accelerated forms of training, psychological practitioners, social workers specializing in family relations. UDC316.6 (075.8) BBK88.5Я77 Formalova N.S., 2013 ISBN Publisher BSUEP,

4 Table of contents Preface ... 4 Theoretical foundations of the psychology of the family and family counseling ... 5 Topic 1. Essence of family and marriage ... 5 Topic 2. Family as a system Topic 3. Formation of a married couple Theme 4. Family well-being factors, stages and Crisis periods of marriage Topic 5. Marital conflicts Topic 6. Divorce as a social and psychological phenomenon Topic 7. Types and types of parent-child relations Theme 8. The essence and specificity of psychological counseling Theme 9. Models of psychological counseling of the family Theme 10. Sociometric techniques of work with family Methods of psychological study of marital relationships List of issues for self-test Sample topics of abstracts, essays, reports Test tasks for self-test Exercises for practical classes Glossary List of recommended literature

5 Preface Currently, psychological practitioners have a great interest in issues related to family problems. In many ways, this may be due to an increase in the number of divorces, an increase in incomplete families, socially negative phenomena. In turn, the increased need of families in qualified psychological assistance is noted. This confirms an increase in the number of appeals to psychological centers, psychological services and psychological practitioners of both individual family members and families in general. Psychological assistance to the family is a relatively new sphere of activity of a practical psychologist. To date, there is a lack of highly qualified specialists, ready to competently and effectively provide psychological assistance to the family. The purpose of this manual to provide theoretical and practical material, which will help students in the future professional activities of psychologists in the theoretical understanding of studied phenomena and the application in practice of modern psychological knowledge. The manual contains practical tasks, exercises and issues that can be used to verify the quality of learning students in the course of studying the disciplines "Family Counseling", "Consultancy Fundamentals". At the end of each topic, questions are offered for self-test and a list of recommended literature, which will help to find answers to emerging issues. The proposed training guide is addressed to students studying in the direction of "Psychology", as well as teachers, psychological practitioners, social workers, educators, as well as specialists working in the field of education. four

6 Theoretical foundations of family psychology and family counseling Plan: 1. Basic concepts. 2. Family typology. 3. Family functions. Topic 1. Essence of family and marriage 1. Basic concepts There are many definitions of the concept of "family", which are similar in something (still they define the same phenomenon!), But every author focuses on those aspects that believes Important. I will give the most interesting, standing in them important, in my opinion, moments. "Family is a historically specific system of relationship between spouses, between parents and children" (A. G. Kharchev, sociologist). "Family is a collection of individuals consisting of at least one of three types of relations: the relationship of blood relations (brother brother, brother sister, etc.), the relationship of generation (parents are children), property relationships (husband wife)" (S. I. Golond, sociologist). "Family meets the norms and values \u200b\u200bof this society a social group, combined in joint activities a combination of interpersonal relations: husband wife, parents children, children children" (Psychological Dictionary). Combines all these definitions that family is a group of people united by a variety of relations between spouses, parents, children. At the same time, A. G. Kharchev emphasizes the historical specificity of the family, that is, its variability, variability of its structure, relations between its members, depending on the particular historical period (socio-economic conditions, the development of social relations, etc.). S. I. Hoddod, in turn, focuses on various types of relationships (kinship, generation, properties), highlighting the complexity of the family structure, and therefore the complexity of its study. In the psychological definition for us, two points are important. First, the family as a social institution complies with the norms and values \u200b\u200bof society, that is, the family, conventionally speaking, performs the order of society to form a person for this society (and this applies to both children and adult family members). And secondly, family members unites joint activities, and it distinguishes it from a simple cohabitation of different people in common territory. Society regulates family relations through marriage as a social form of relationships (system of morality and right) between husband and wife, or, in other words, marriage is a recognition, consolidation and regulation of relations between a man and a woman for the most complete satisfaction of their material, spiritual, sexual and Other needs. Society is interested in the stability of the marriage relationship, so it carries out 5

7 External social control over the optimal functioning of a marriage through a system of public opinion, social impact, the process of upbringing. A combination of socially regulated relations between the wedding partners is customary as married. Thus, speaking of the ratio of the concepts of marriage and family, we see that the "marriage" is rather a sociological, legal, this is a formal, socially deterministic side of the relationship between husband and wife, while the "family" concept is rather psychological, representing a complex personality relationship system which includes not only spouses, but also their children and other relatives. The family is a more complex system of relationships than marriage. 2. Family typology. The historical and cultural variability of marriage and family, the diversity of relations, uniting people, generates a wide range of family typologies. Consider the main of them. 1. According to the type of marriage. Monogamia (from Gray, Gamos Marriage) Union between one man and one woman. This type of marriage is adopted in European countries and in Russia. That is why in the future we will consider monogamous families. Polyginia Union of one man with several women. This type of marriage is distributed in countries where the leading religion is Muslim. At the same time, almost always the first wife is considered the eldest and has many rights and privileges, but the head of the family is definitely a husband. Polyandria Union of one woman with several men. Polyandria is most often dictated by economic reasons, as it allows not to divide, say, agricultural land. The brothers are marrying on one girl and continue to cultivate their family together together, which then inherit their common sons, they are just like their fathers, only one woman will lead to the house. Polyandria woman is almost always the head of the family. Polyginia and Polyandria are varieties of polygamous marriages. 2. In the selection of the spouse. The Endogan Family Marriage is within its own, but broader community (within a single social class, such as employees or people of art). Sometimes they talk about the social homogeneity of such a family. Exogamous family The marriage is between partners belonging to various groups. Such a family is called social heterogeneous. In Russia before the revolution of 1917, the principle of endogamism was observed quite rigidly: it was no one for the nobles to rush to the hills, and the border between, say, nobles and merchants was quite impermeable. Soviet power formally proclaimed the equality of all citizens of society, regardless of their origin, nationality or belonging to a particular social class (workers, employees, peasants, etc.), and legislative obstacles of marriage conclusion between a man and a woman from different social layers were 6.

8 Eliminated. However, the "public opinion" still favorably belonged to endogamous marriages and condemningly to exogamous. For example, the son of the scientist could meet the resistance of the parents if you wish to marry with a "simple" girl from the working family. Or a girl from the Tatar family was forced to defend its right to marry with Russian young men. 3. On the distribution of power in the family. Patriarchate (from Greek. Pater Father, Arche Start, Power) Father Father carries power and enjoys the highest authority. The matriarchate family of power in the family belongs to the mother. Egalitarian, or biarte, family of spouse is equal, power is implemented together. Sometimes in the literature you can find division of families to authoritarian when the power in the family is implemented by one of the spouses, and the egalitarian, which, apparently, imply the presence of democratic principles of the implementation of power. However, not all researchers share this point of view. In particular, V. N. Druzhinin family with the egalitarian type of distribution of power considers the result of a family crisis as a social institution that masks the disintegration of the family. In his opinion, in the egalitarian family, the distribution of power is constant soil for conflict, so he calls it a "conflict". He justifies his point of view, considering such types of relations implemented in the family as dominance-submission and responsibility. In his opinion, the dominant family member (or the head of the family), whose task is to ensure the security of the family, coordinating the actions of its members, determining the prospects for the life and development of the family, affects the behavior of other family members and is responsible for the family as a whole and for the preservation of normal relations between Family members in front of them, family and social environment. V. N. Druzhinin calls the "normal" family of the one in which the responsibility carries the husband (father), "anomalous" where the husband is not responsible for the family. According to the author, the most stable, "ideal" is a family in which the subject of responsibility and power is the same person, and family members are psychologically closer to him than each other. 4. According to the family composition. Nuclear (separate, simple) family of spouse without children or children living separately from other relatives. Incomplete family one parent (more often mother) and child (children). A complex (expanded) family consists of representatives of several generations; It can be represented as an association of a nuclear family and relatives (grandmothers, grandchildren, sisters, etc.). Mixed family rebuilt family formed due to the marriage of divorced people; Includes non-native parents and nonsense children, as children from the previous marriage are poured into a new family. 5. According to the degree of emotional well-being of the family. A prosperous, happy family is characterized by durable, sustainable love relations, trust, emotional equilibrium, achievement 7

9 internal integration of spouses, lack of conflicts. A steady family is also characterized by durable, sustainable relationships, but the presence of conflicts and some contradictions in the family, which are overcome (or the efforts of the family are aimed at overcoming them). The problem family is characterized by the presence of a long-term difficult life situation that can cause a blow to the stability of a marriage (for example, the lack of housing, a long-term family member disease, a condemnation of a family member for a long time, etc.). Conflict family between spouses have spheres where their interests, needs, intentions and desires are constantly entering a clash, generating strong and long-term negative emotions; Such families have a high risk of decay. Sometimes prosperous and sustainable families are designated as functional, and problematic and conflict as dysfunctional. At the same time, the emphasis on the ability of a family to realize its basic functions of psychological support and socialization of family members 6. According to historical dynamics (this typology, on the one hand, shows the stages of family development as public relations develop, and on the other reflects various possible types. Families at the present stage). Patriarchal, or traditional, the family existed as the only possible in Europe (including Russia) until the XX century. It has the following characteristic features: economic resources and the adoption of basic solutions are concentrated in the hands of her husband; Inspection roles are rigidly fixed (Woman "Custodian of the Home Field", Husband "Gether"); The parental government is absolute (parents decide the fate of children, parents know how to be better than them, the most serious provinity of the tenderness of the parents); Hard sexual subordination; The lack of individual selectivity at all stages of the family cycle (the choice of the marriage partner is carried out by the parents of the bride and the bride among themselves based on the benefits for family, personal relationships, attachment and sympathy are not important; benefits for the family, and not personal interests determine the professional activities of adult children). Dominant place is occupied by relations; All other relations (marital, attitude towards children, etc.) are determined by the interests of an expanded family. Children's, or modern, family appears in the XX century, gets widespread from the second half of the XX century. It is characterized by a decrease in parental influence on adult children; The choice of a spouse becomes individualized and is determined by interpersonal relationships of love. The role of privacy, the sensual side of marriage and intimacy is towers; Sexuality is realized as an independent value, and not only as a way of childbearing; The relationship between husband and wife becomes more or less equal. As a result, it becomes necessary to plan the number of children and their birth time, which leads to a reduction in the reproductive period of up to 5 10 years and the birth of one or two children. Rest - 8

10 NOC turns into an object of parental love and persistent affection, his interests and desires fall into the center of family relations. The dominant place is occupied by the relationship of the parentship; All other relationships (married, attitudes towards parents, etc.) are determined by the interests of children. Sophisticated, or post-law, the family appeared in the last years, currently continues to form as a leading type of family. It is characterized by the equality and symmetry of moral duties and the privileges of both spouses, which opens unique opportunities for the emergence of various and rich relationships between family members. Each spouse perceives himself not only as a parent, subordinating his own interests of children, but also as a person who seeks to spiritual interaction with a close person and implemented through this interaction. The dominant place is occupied by the relationship of marriage; All other relationships (attitude to children, parents, etc.) are determined by satisfaction with married relations, personal interests of spouses. As a relative neoplasm, the marital family is the least stereotypes, and therefore has many individual forms, various types of relationships between spouses, providing personal satisfaction with the specific marital couple. 3. Family functions Family as a social phenomenon performs two groups of functions: 1) Social, that is, the functions imposed on it by society (for which society needs such a social institution as a family that society expects from him); 2) psychological, that is, the functions, how they perceive family members (for which people create a family, which they expect them to satisfy what individual psychological needs are their relationships). It should be noted that the functions of the family are implemented through interpersonal relationships, therefore, in some sources, they are not considered as functions, but as various types of family relations. The following functions can be attributed to social: the function of reproduction as maintaining the biological continuity of society. The family is the only community of people, an increase in the members of which does not occur at the expense of the external inflow, from outside, but, conventionally speaking, from the inside due to the birth of children. To maintain the biological continuity of society, it is necessary that each member of society has a replacement, that is, every married couple must have a minimum of two or three children (the number of children must be somewhat exceeded the number of parents, since not all adults create a family and not all for various reasons Can give birth to a child). Now according to statistics in Russia, the overwhelming number of families have one or two children. Consequently, the task of society to stimulate the execution of this function to the family. Function of education as maintenance of cultural continuity of society. Usually under this function implies the primary socialization of the child as a transmission by the younger generation in the general terms of the cultural heritage of society. The family is indispensable in performing this function, Oso- 9

11 Benno in the first 5 7 years of the child's life: she instills the child the foundations of worldview plants, in the family he learns and develops moral norms, here it produces primary skills and samples of behavior. V. N. Druzhinin, for example, believes that only the socialization of children is a specific family function, and others can change over time (in some kind of historical period, families can be sold, and in some kind of no). After analyzing various approaches, R.R. Kalinin allocates the following psychological functions: the function of cooperation as a cooperation and mutual assistance of family members, supporting each other in some endeavors, affairs, in solving certain problems that each family member faces. The implementation of this feature implies awareness of family members about each other's affairs, an active exchange of information inside the family, as well as economic support for family members (for example, the allocation of a family budget to the beginning of entrepreneurial activities or a hobby (hobby) family members). The function of intimacy as a means of meeting the need for mutual love, emotional proximity, emotional attachment, personally-oriented communication of family members, in understanding. In everyday life, a person may experience discomfort from communicating with people who are uncompatible to him. In the family, a person communicates with psychologically close, favorite people who are delicately respectfully relate to his personality, which also contributes to the satisfaction of the need for a sense of importance, the need for another. Recreation function, or restorative function, as the possibility of moral and psychological support for each other, the ability to remove the voltage obtained outside the family. Unlike the function of cooperation, where the help provided by family members and support to each other is rather a business (information, economic, etc.), in this case we are talking about psychological, psychotherapeutic assistance. The implementation of this feature implies the satisfaction of one of the basic psychological needs of the need for psychological safety, security. The function of self-actualization as the provision of every member of the family the possibility of the most complete identification and development of its personal potential, personal growth. O. M. Zazdyslov, for example, emphasizes that, being a higher psychological need, the need for self-actualization can be satisfied only within the framework of the marital egalitarian union. It should be noted that all these needs individually can be implemented and outside the family, for example, in relationships with friends, at work, with random people (the so-called "random traveler" effect, which performs a recreational function), etc. However, only full-fledged Relations inside the family are able to satisfy all these needs in the complex, systematically (and not from the case) and most adequately, which contributes to raising the level of satisfaction with the life of all family members. At the same time, the polyfunctionality of the family requires a comprehensive 10

12 Personality Including, creates prerequisites for the high selectivity of the partner, gives family relations exceptional depth and intimacy. Another family function allocated by V. I. Zatsepin. This is a felicitological (from lat. Feli-Citas happiness) a function that means creating conditions for happiness of each family member. This function, according to the author, to some extent combines all other functions, but is independent and meaningful. There is no generally accepted classification of family functions, however, there are interdependence between them and complementarity. Another classification of family functions: reproductive biological reproduction and preservation of offspring, continued kind; Educational spiritual reproduction of the population. The family forms the identity of the child, has a systematic educational impact on each member throughout life; household maintenance of the physical condition of the family, care for the elderly; Economic and material maintenance of some family members of others: minors, elderly, disabled; Leisure organization function Maintaining a family as a holistic system; The content and forms of leisure depends on the level of culture, national traditions, individual inconsistencies and interests, the age of family members, its income; The function of social control is the responsibility of family members for the behavior of its members in society, their activities; The orientation is worth the values \u200b\u200band elements of culture recognized in the whole society or in social groups. Questions for self-test 1. Give the definition of the "family" concept. 2. What is the difference between the family from marriage? 3. What kind of family typologies do you know? 4. List the family functions. Recommended literature 1. Aleshina Yu. E. Individual and family psychological consulting. M.: Independent firm "Class", p. 2. Aleshina Yu. E. Family and individual psychological consulting. M.: Editorial and Publishing Center of the Consortium "Social Health of Russia", p. 3. Kalinina R.R. Introduction to the psychology of family relations. St. Petersburg: Speech, p. 4. Schneider L.B. Psychology of family relationships: lecture course. M.: April-Press, Publishing House Eksmo-Press, p. 5. Eidemeyller E.G., Justitskis V. Psychology and psychotherapy of the family. SPB: Publishing House "Peter", p. eleven

13 Plan: 1. The concept of the system. 2. Family system structure. 3. Family property as systems. Topic 2. Family as system 1. The concept of the system is one of the most productive approaches when studying a family, a systematic approach can be considered, which is a section of the general theory of systems. The general theory of systems was developed in the 1930s. Austrian biologist Ludwig von Bertalanfi. In this theory, special attention is paid to the issues of integrity and organization of real or ideal objects (any device, chemical, live cell, organism, society, nature, etc.), interaction of parts of a whole among themselves, interaction with the environment . Considering mainly open systems, L. Bertalanfi paid a particular importance to the mechanisms of metabolism, energy, information between the living organism and the environment, the establishment of an internal dynamic equilibrium (homeostasis) and the complexization process of living systems. The system approach in recent decades has gained great popularity, which affected its distribution in various fields of science and practice. This led to a variety of various descriptions of systems, various approaches to their study, the emergence of various private theories. The use of a systemic approach when studying a family means that the family is considered as a single, holistic, live system. In the general sense, the system is a combination of elements (material and intangible), which are in relations and connections among themselves, having a certain structure and forming a certain integral unity (in relation to the environment). The element allocated on the basis of the system analysis is an extremely elementary component of the system, retaining its functions in relation to the whole. In the family as elements usually consider family members. The presence of communication between the elements is determined when the presence, the absence or change of one element is a prerequisite condition for the presence, absence or change of another element associated with it. For example, the presence of communication between family members is determined by the influence of the mood of one to the mood of another (other). Relations are sustainable, natural links. Thus, the family is a holistic system (it acts as a whole towards society), the members of which are its elements. Family members are united by sustainable connections and relations forming the structure. 2. Family system structure The family structure is determined by the following basic parameters: 12

14 1. Family subgroups, or substructures are sustainable associations of several family members performing certain functions. It is possible to highlight the main substructures that exist in each family having children: spouses whose function is considered to be higher (see the topic 1, p. 4), in the mutual satisfaction of individual psychological needs; Parents, whose function of the transfer of cultural experience to the younger generation, socialization and raising children; Children whose function, in my opinion, testing received from adult knowledge and information on the experience of real interaction among themselves (for example, what it means to achieve their when you are not listened); It should be borne in mind that when it comes to the information received, it is in mind not only (and not so much!) What parents say, but what they do. Family substructures can be both temporary and constant. Temporary substructures can be formed to implement a certain activity. For example, combining family members for sexual signs for the implementation of the "male" or "female" work. And an example of a constant substructure is the creation of the "male" and "female" coalition in the occurrence of conflicts Mom, a diameter unite against the father with the Son, which are forced to "defend". Association in the substructure can occur not only by sexual sign, but on the basis of common interests (in the family there may be the substructure of music lovers and the substructure of bookkeepers), the fulfillment of family functions (substructure that ensures the material well-being of the family, the substructure responsible for organizing family leisure, and .), age (substructure of elderly family members who require special attention and patience from other family members), etc. Features of substructures: Each family member is part of several substructures. For example, a woman enters both the marital and parental substructure, and can also be included in the female and organizational and leisure substructures. At the same time, Eymeldyller believes that simultaneous functioning in several substructures is usually ineffective: if the mother scolds the son for bad marks (parental function) and at the same time, the abuse of male qualities (married function) appears as a reason for disadvantage nor the husband do not perceive criticism in his address. The effectiveness of the family functioning is ensured by more substructures such as permanent and temporary. A small amount of rigidly fixed substructures is in displacing the family system to respond flexibly to various stress factors, the influence of which it is experiencing during its livelihoods. It is at the expense of temporary substructures that include family members from various permanent substructures (association of passionate music of the father of the parent and male substructures, the union with the child's daughter and 13

15 Women's substructures) are formed, warm and develop warm, supporting relationships between family members, mutual understanding between them. Family members can be included in the substructures unusual for them. For example, an alcoholic husband may be included in the children's substructure, as requiring constant control and care, and the teenage son, which has been working, in the substructure, ensuring the material well-being of the family, as well as in a marital substructure (providing emotional support and mother assistance). It should be noted that the inclusion of family members into the substructures unusual for them is typical for dysfunctional, problem families. 2. Family hierarchy is a kind of vertical family structure, providing the distribution of power and responsibility in the family. In functional families, adults (parents) have greater power and responsibility than children. However, it is often possible to observe families in which there is a child at the top of the family hierarchy, which manages the rest of the family members to meet precisely his needs, all efforts are devoted to all the behavior of family members. In the psychologicopedagogical literature, you can meet the concepts of "idol family" or "Little Tirant" This is just about such a "inverted" hierarchy. The hierarchy is determined not only by age, but also by other factors, such as competence in one or another field of family life or the material contribution to the family budget. For functional families, a clear separation of power and the presence of leaders is characteristic. 3. Features of communication and interaction in the family are qualitative characteristics of the family structure. This includes the rules and stereotypes of interaction. The interaction rules set ways of behavior of family members in various situations. For example: "The family dines, when all family members are gathering" or "If you don't want to communicate, go to another room and close the door." Rules allow family members to navigate in reality and give sustainability to the family if they are not broken. Family rules have several sources: they can be defined by culture for example, parents should not have sex with children. Rules can be brought in spouses from parental families. It must be borne in mind that they can contradict each other. Consider such an example: in the family of the wife it was customary to gently caress children (hugging, ironing, kissing), to call gentle names and nicknames ("Zabonok", "Sunny", etc.), sorry. And in the family of the husband, such manifestations were considered "calf gentlemen", and therefore unacceptable, and love was demonstrated through pattering, tearing, Irony ("You, of course, the most resourceful"), and children's tears were either ignored or condemned. When these spouses are born by children, conflicts constantly arise between them: the wife reproaches her husband that he doesn't like children enough (as he, from her point of view, does not show his love), and the husband reproaches his wife that she is overly pamping their "Calf gentlemen." And here, the spouses arise before the need to generate the rule of manifestation of any- 14

16 vi in \u200b\u200byour family. And this is another source of rules. Rules can be produced by family members, primarily spouses, during their own lives. The rules can be proclaimed: "You need to get up in the morning at the same time, including on weekends and on vacation (on vacation)," and there may be a secretly: "Up to twenty years, the child still needs to obey parents." The rules that occurred in a certain period of life of the family ("Mother cares for a newborn child"), with time they can change ("Father's son's education is engaged). If this does not happen, the outdated rules can generate conflicts in the family, dissatisfaction of family members with each other. Following the rules contributes to the consolidation of sustainable ways of behavior of family members, repetition of their actions and communications, in other words, the formation of stereotypes of interaction. In the stereotypes of interaction, as a rule, it is possible to distinguish an emotional attitude towards who it is directed: the charge, irritation, admiration, etc. The prevalence of a positive or negative component in the stereotypes of interaction with a certain member of the family has a significant impact (respectively positive or Negative) on his self-esteem and self-esteem. 3. The property of a family as a system of psychologists, studying families and working with families within the system approach, allocate various systemic properties of families that can be combined into the following: 1. The system as a whole is qualitatively different from the sum of the properties of its elements. A good illustration of this property is such an example: if we take flour, yeast, eggs (system elements) and mix them, it turns out the dough, which is the system sum of these elements and at the same time differs high qualityly from them, that is, in its properties dough It does not look like neither an egg or a yeast, nor on flour separately. If we add another intangible element, namely the temperature (bake the dough), then we get a system with completely different properties that are not similar to the components of its elements (flour, yeast, eggs) or the former system (dough). If we talk about the family, then, relying on this property, it is possible, for example, to argue that even the full knowledge of the personal qualities and features of young people (properties of elements) does not allow us to predict the success of their family life (the properties of the system as a whole), if we do not We know the qualitative features of relations between them and the established structure of relations. Moreover, this system property (however, as everyone else) is manifested not only at the level of the family system as a whole, but also at the level of subsystems, family groups. For example, the parents often can be heard about the following: "While my children are spoiled, they are just gold calm, obedient. But it is worth collecting together, they can't learn: noisy, indulge, become not 15

17 managed. " Such a situation just demonstrates to us that the union of elements (in this case, children) acquires completely new properties than those that these elements were in themselves. 2. The properties of the element are determined by its place in the structure. This is what illustrates this property Michael E. Kerr, a systemic family psychotherapist: "Suppose that gifted, but injecting in engines to a person give a motor without a carburetor and asked to design the item that will make it work. Then he will explore the engine and guess which functional unit is not enough. This will allow it to design the item that performs the necessary functions. This item may be, and may not be similar to a regular carburetor, but it does not matter. The most important thing is that it is created in order to perform the necessary functions in the engine. " The manifestation of this property in the family system may look as follows. Spouses really want to have a child, but due to certain reasons, their desire is not carried out. They pass the necessary surveys, maybe undergo a course of treatment, maybe no, but they are waiting for the birth of a child, dream of him, often discuss how they will love him, take care of him, etc. They make considerable efforts to implement His desire, support each other. Finally, the wife comes a pregnancy, during which it is constantly under the supervision of doctors. The husband is very worried about her health and the health of the future child. After describing only two elements of the system (spouses) and the structures of relations between them and the child (as long as the future), it can be assumed, which properties will have the third element of this system (child) or the manifestation of which properties of the third element will stimulate this system. Most likely, this is weakness, soreness, helplessness. It is such properties that are formed in a child, if for parents he is "light in the window", if they seek to satisfy all his desires, seek to protect him from the difficulties and difficulties of life. 3. In the system, the properties of the elements and the properties of relations between them are interconnected. This property is often referred to in the literature as "the law of circular causality", while mutual (circular) conditionality is opposed to the causal (linear) conditionality, which implies the presence of the root cause leading to certain consequences (if you knock down the hammer on the glass, it will break it; 4. Any live system is capable of self-regulation. In the course of life, the family experiences various influences as from the outside, on the part of the society and from the inside, from its members. On the external and internal exposure, the family as a system can react as follows: strive to maintain the established structure of the established links and relations, thus "blocking" changes occurring with one element (see a consequence of the previous property). Such a system reaction in 16

18 literature is often called "the law of homeostasis". Craw if the system cannot cope with strong changes occurring either inside it (for example, the birth of a child), or in society (for example, an economic crisis). Transform (change the structure, relationship) with the transition to another level of operation. Typically, the transformation follows for a single change in one element or a strong change in relations between two elements. At the same time, the main transforming force in the family is a married couple: it is changes in this subsystem that lead to changes in the family system as a whole. The relationship between spouses (cooling of relationships, an increase in negative stereotypes of interaction) has problems with a child (frequent diseases, deterioration of study, etc.). Conversely, relationships in a married couple (for example, during family psychotherapy) are being established (for example, during family psychotherapy) and the relationships of parents with a child are improved, and the problems of the child are reduced to a minimum. To strong changes in one element of the system, such as a serious disease of one of the family members, which entails the restructuring of all relations in the family. This and the change in the working rhythm someone begins to work more to ensure treatment or compensate for the inoperability of the disease, someone works less to be more near the sick. This and the change in the general way of life of the family family ceases to visit and invite guests to themselves. This and the change in interpersonal relationships the child gets less love, caress and attention, as the attention and strength of family members are directed to the diseased, etc. Also it entails changes within the people themselves (change in emotional reactions, life values, etc.) . All changes occurring in the system are served to maintain its stability. For example, when we are talking about the fact that, with the deterioration of relations between spouses, the child appears problems, within the framework of the system approach, it means that the problems of the child attract the attention of parents, unite them for the "salvation" of the child, and therefore the family system remains holistic . Now it becomes clear that in this case a specialist, for example, a children's psychologist, to whom the parents applied for help, simply will not be able to "cure a" child "(that is, resolve its problems), since the source of his problems is not in it itself, but in relations between parents. In turn, his problems are a mechanism for self-regulation, which is launched by the system in response to internal changes to maintain its stability. 5. Family as a live system interacts with the outside world. Any live system in order to survive, you need to exchange energy with the external environment. For example, any living organism needs to be obtained from outside for its existence of food, for its development of new information. In the external medium, the body gives products of their livelihoods and also information. Actually it is the exchange of energy and information with an external environment, in my opinion, and distinguishes living from non-living. The family is certainly also a living system, and the family system, being in society, interacts with it, that is, communicating information - 17

19 for her and energy. The exchange of information takes place through relatives, friends, neighbors, colleagues, the media (television, newspapers), the Internet, through a kindergarten or school in which the child goes. According to the degree of intensity of the interaction of families with society, according to the degree of freedom of information, both from the society in the family and from the family, the following types usually allocate: Open family systems sharing information with society is quite intense. This is manifested in the hospitality of family members: any guest here is glad, "doors are always open," and guests are usually almost constantly in such families. Also members of such a family love to visit, attend various events, suggesting people among themselves or receiving new information: concerts, mugs, discos, etc. Openness is also manifested in free circulation of information inside the family: the child tells what happened in School, adults tell that they happen at work, all family members share their impressions of read books, viewed by transfers and films. At the expense of this, information obtained by in one family member becomes the property of everyone else. Open family systems are usually characterized by the flexibility of the relationship and the structure of the family system as a whole, which allows it to be faster and easier to adapt to changes occurring inside the family, as well as overcome possible negative effects from outside the transformation of the family system structure. This state of affairs is due to the fact that in its vital activity family members use diverse experience and information obtained and processed during interaction with society and with each other. In other words, they have in their arsenal plenty of funds and opportunities to overcome various negative impacts. Closed family systems sharing information with society minimized. These families, as a rule, lead a closed lifestyle, and even neighbors and close relatives can tell little about what is happening inside this family. Accordingly, family members prefer to spend time in a family circle, social relations of such a family are minimized. Absolutely closed family systems are quite rare, as adults and children at work and in school communicate with other people, they receive any information from them. However, if it contradicts family values \u200b\u200band family order, it is perceived as "harmful" and prohibited to distribute inside the family. This happens when the family for any reason perceives the society surrounding it as hostile towards himself as a source of danger and various negative influences. For example, parents do not let the child on the discos, cool evenings, do not allow him to go to the mugs, as they believe that there will be no good to be taught there that there is a child there are solid dangers of bad companies, debauchery, drugs, etc. This and the briefings on TV are also strictly controlled by parents, and often in such families the TV is simply absent as a source of evil and "indecent" information. eighteen

20 Questions for self-test 1. What year was the overall system theory developed? 2. What is a family hierarchy? 3. Keep open and closed family systems. 4. Describe the properties of the family as a system. Recommended literature 1. Aleshina Yu. E. Individual and family psychological counseling / Yu. E. Aleshina. M.: Independent firm "Class", p. 2. Aleshina Yu. E. Family and individual psychological counseling / Yu. E. Aleshina. M.: Editorial Publishing Center for the Consortium "Social Health of Russia", p. 3. Kalinina R. R. Introduction to the psychology of family relations / R. R. Kalinin. Spb. : Speech, p. 4. Studder L. B. Psychology of family relationships: lectures / L. B. Schneider. M.: April-Press: Eksmo-Press, p. 5. Eidemeyller E. G., Justitskis V. Psychology and psychotherapy of the family / E. G. Eidemeyller, V. Yustitskyis. Spb. : Peter, s. Topic 3. Formation of a married couple Plan: 1. Theories of choosing a marriage partner. 2. The specificity of the breast period. In the formation of a married couple, two periods are distinguished: a preching (before the adoption of a pair of decisions on marriage) and the prebrid (before the conclusion of the marriage union). The source of difficulties in family life can be the features of the choice of a partner, the nature of the breast and premissal courtship, the decision on marriage. 1. The theories of the choice of a marriage partner One of the first began to reflect on the reasons for marriage the founder of classical psychoanalysis 3. Freud. His psychoanalytic theory relies on the assumption of imposition that children experience to the opposite sex. Thanks to the complex unconscious process, they can carry love experienced by them to this parent, to others, socially appropriate, objects on their potential spouses. It is probably why many young men would like to meet the future companion of life, similar to their mother, and very often girls pay attention to young men, similar to their fathers. The most common theories of the choice of the marriage partner include the following: the theory of complementary needs R. Wincha, the theory of "stimulus value" B. Murstein, the instrumental theory of the selection 19

21 Spouses R. Senters, the theory of "filters" by A. Kerckoff and K. Davis, "Circular theory of love" A. Rosis. The theory of complementary needs (complementary) R. Wincha is based on the principle, it says that opposites are attracted. R. Winch writes that in choosing a spouse, each individual is looking for the one who expects the maximum satisfaction of needs. Lovers must have the similarity of social traits and psychologically complement each other. Satisfaction, remuneration and pleasure are considered as forces contributing to the rapprochement of future spouses. This theory does not argue that everyone can find a spouse that would fully satisfy his needs. It helps to figure out why everyone considers only some of the entire "election field" attractive. According to this theory, for example, an attractive for a powerful man can be a meek woman, and a calm and gentle man like energetic and straight women. The instrumental theory of selection of spouses developed by R. Senthers also pays primary attention to meeting the needs, but at the same time it claims that some needs are more important than others, some of them are more inherent in men than women, and vice versa. According to R. Senters, a person entails whose needs to be similar to his own or complement them. The theory of "stimulus value role", or "exchange and maximum benefit," B. Murstein received, perhaps, the greatest distribution among researchers. It is based on two most important positions. The first is that at each stage of development of the relationship between partners, the strength of the relationship depends on the so-called exchange equality. In other words, there is a peculiar account of advantages and minuses, assets and liabilities of each partner. As a result, although partners may not be aware of this, there is some balance of positive and negative characteristics of each. If the assets, or marriage incentives exceed liabilities, then a decision is made to conclude a marital union. The second position is that the marriage selection includes a series of consecutive stages through which young people must pass. The one who does not comply with the conditions of each stage drops out of the "game". The first stage B. Murstein called the "stimulus". When a man and a woman see each other for the first time, there is an initial opinion about the appearance of another person, his mind, the ability to stay in society, and also a perception and assessment of those own qualities that can be attractive for another person. If an attraction appeared between the partners, the first impression was attractive, then the pair moves to the second stage comparing values. Partners discusses their views on life, marriage, male and women's roles in the family, to raise children, etc. A man and a woman either strengthen mutual sympathies, or, realizing that they have little in common, ride with each other. If the mutual attractiveness arising in the first stage is supported by the similarity of values, the relationship between partners go to the third stage role. In the third stage 20

22 Role partners verify whether the role behavior corresponds to one expectations of another. Of course, there are people who, falling in love with each other, marry after a short acquaintance, without any alarms and concerns, obeying only the feeling. However, most partners try to realize both the advantages and disadvantages of each other and, carefully weighing all the "for" and "against", take the final decision. The idea of \u200b\u200bthe existence of several stages in the process of choosing a marriage partner lies both at the basis of the theory of "filters" by A. Kerckoff and K. Dahvis. Schematically, this process can be represented as a sequential passage through a series of filters, which gradually eliminate people from a variety of possible partners and narrow individual choice. The first filter place of residence is eliminating those potential partners with whom a person will never be able to meet. Then the filter of Homogamia eliminates those who do not fit each other in social criteria. At this stage, a person enters into contacts with people who seem attractive to him. At subsequent stages, the similarities of values \u200b\u200band the compatibility of role-playing expectations are established. The result of passing through all filters is marriage. The "Circular Theory of Love" A. Reis explains the mechanism for choosing a marriage partner through the implementation of four consecutive, interconnected processes. 1. Setting the relationship. It refers to the ease of communication of two people, in other words, as far as "in its plate" they feel in each other's society. It depends on both socio-cultural factors (social class, education, religion, style, upbringing), and from individual human abilities to come into contact with other people. 2. Self-discharge. The feeling of interconnection with another person gives rise to a feeling of relaxation, trust and makes it easier to disclose itself in front of others. Social and cultural factors also have great influence. 3. Formation of mutual dependency. Gradually, a man and a woman arises and a system of interrelated habits develops, a sense of need for each other appears. 4. Implementation of the main needs of the person, what, in the opinion of A. Flight, are the needs of love, trust, stimulation of anyone of her ambitions, etc. The development of a sense of love goes to the direction from the first process to the fourth. It is definitely that the passing of one of them negatively affects the development or stability of love relationships. German scientist R. ZiDler also believes that the intention to marry most people in European industrialized countries is preceded by a long process of orientation and sociocultural configuration of a person for marriage and family. The choice of the marriage partner can be represented, according to R. ZiDler, as the filtering process. At first, the category of socially suitable partners is determined. It happens almost "imperceptibly" for a person in a social environment where he rotates. Then, a specific choice is carried out from "SOCOP- 21

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