If a person does not develop. Why do people not want to learn and develop, and what's up to me? Your plans for the future are missing or are fantasies

Now it has become very fashionable to embark on the path of self-development. Everywhere there are announcements of new super-effective trainings, advertising of books, seminars, lectures. Someone is starving, someone is meditating, someone is singing mantras and reading affirmations.

All this is very good. And I am in favor of human development with both hands. It is absolutely not important for me what a person does, the main thing is that his activities bring him benefit, joy and satisfaction.

But more often it happens the other way around, we just watched the film "The Secret", just read "", and that's it: we already consider ourselves gurus of personal growth, we begin to teach and teach others, trying to prompt them, help them take the true path, we don’t care at all and don’t even think about what the person himself wants?

I often receive such letters from readers when she - already all smart and beautiful, well-read and busy with creative realization - comes into the house, and here HE is. Lying, you know, on the couch with a can of beer, staring at the TV. And then she wonders why I don’t devote time to him, don’t spend evenings with him and generally stopped talking to him. Does he really not see that he is degrading, destroying himself and in general has become uninteresting and disgusting to me.

In such cases, I always give one answer: have you ever wondered why this person is still with you? So, if you haven’t thought about it yet, I think you should ask yourself this question.

Often in such situations, we begin to break a person, imposing our point of view on him. In my opinion, this is wrong, and this work is thankless, to be honest.

NOTHING IN OUR LIFE WILL HAPPEN WITHOUT OUR CONSENT!

EVERYTHING HAS ITS TIME!

Nothing can happen until a person is ready for change, before a person realizes at a deep level the importance of change.

What is change and why do we not want to change?

Change is new behavior, something that we have not had to do before.

And we do not want to change because:

For this it will be necessary to do something, but we do not want to;

We are accustomed to live as we live;

We don't know what is right;

We have no guarantees and no one can guarantee that it will be better afterwards;

We are forced to do it, and at a deep level it has not yet been felt, so we resist change;

Everyone lives like this;

We are used to suffering, and are not sure that happiness exists at all;

We find it hard to believe that there is a better life;

We do not want to work on ourselves and improve our qualities and the quality of our lives;

We are afraid of change, change;

We are mired in momentary pleasures and consumerist lifestyles;

The brain slows us down, since the very first function of the brain is ours, and then there are some changes that were previously unknown. Dangerous? How dangerous too. So the brain is trying with all its might to dissuade us from change and persuade us to continue living on in a comfortable swamp.

This is just a small list of what slows us down. Remember how you started this path of self-improvement. Surely, too, there were doubts and internal struggles. I fought for about half a year, although before my eyes there were people who were happier and more easy-going. People who do not worry and easily perceive any situation, but I still fought. I fought with them, I fought with myself, I fought with my old attitudes, which were instilled in me since childhood.

In my opinion, the most important thing here is to gradually move forward. Day after day, drop by drop, remind yourself of the benefits of this or that action, habit.

After all, we understand everything with the brain, but it can take years for a habit-change to enter our lives. But the main thing is to go to her.

What can I say to women who are trying so hard to lead their soul mate:

Develop yourself and your life ONLY FOR YOURSELF!!! No sacrifices and phrases “I have been for you all my life”, “I have dedicated to you ...” and so on are not needed. Don't shine for him, shine for yourself, and then you can light the way for millions of people.

Realize that if you have a burning desire to change a person, to help him get on the right path, then you are only at the very beginning of the path. Those people who have gone far do not care about the way of life of other people. They enjoy their lives and lead others unconsciously.

Learn to talk to a man so that he does not feel slighted. So that thoughts do not appear in his head that you are too smart, and he is a fool. The person will be uncomfortable and will run away from you at any opportunity or will continue to conflict with you. We don't need it.

Do not judge strictly passion for TV and beer. Take care of yourself first. Invite the man to spend time together, but not in front of the TV, but for example, on a walk before going to bed. Encourage those proposals of a man that will give growth and development to your relationship, and not degrade together.

Study VEDAS. Information about women's and men's duties. Then you will understand that the leader in the relationship should be a man. He simply does not perceive the prompts of women and rejects them in every possible way, just because he is a man. This is his nature, and there is no escape from it.

Your task is to competently communicate with a person, instill in him new views on life and inspire him to exploits and changes.

I really like the saying of Lope de Vega: “Love prefers equals!”

Many marriages break up due to unwillingness to follow a partner. One is already busy with self-development, and the other is not ready yet.

It is important here to understand whether you are ready to wait and work on yourself and yours. Do you have the strength and time to walk this path together. After all, no one can exclude that, perhaps, your man will never want to engage in self-development. And you should also be prepared for this.

People don't want to study. In the info business there is a lot of business and little info. I teach copywriting courses and meet new people every day. They ask how much money this training will bring them. They measure everything in money.

Neurolinguistics is too complicated. Why study, learn new things and comprehend the facets of the universe, if it does not bring money right away? Is it smart and interesting to write? No, lady, we need conversion and customers.
And now you know how to enter into a trance with a text, adapt to representative systems and explain it as if a person understood it all himself, and not from the text. And this. Nobody. No need.

You go to first-graders for mathematics, show the guys your algebra notebook for grade 11, and they look at you and say: “Do you multiply letters? Sit down with us, silly, we'll show you everything! There are numbers, they are needed for calculation. Here are counting sticks, here are tasks, here are examples. And for some reason you have letters here: x, y, a, b - and again letters after the equal sign. Letters should be written, not counted, you understand?”

For podcasts, the topic of neurocopywriting is too abstruse. For training centers and information business - not a format. And positioning in the spirit of “write with pleasure” is not a benefit. The belief that writing must be in pain, 4 weeks, under the stigma of identity “I am mediocrity”, apparently, is part of the profession. "I'm the wasted letters on Tyler Durten's keyboard."

Why study branding, marketing, psychology, philology, linguistics, if you can already write kilometers of selling lines with a train of cognitive and linguistic errors. After all, a copywriter is not a philologist, there are editors for that. Eat?

Trainings on selling texts are conducted by sales specialists. You can’t blame them, they increase conversion, they don’t care about the culture of the language. But we also increase sales, only beautifully and competently. But people don't want that. They do not need serious work with psycholinguistics, practice, editing, it is enough for them that the text must be written in letters.

And by the way, how do you understand that the text is in front of you?

If you do not know Chinese and want to learn the language, it is difficult to immediately understand who speaks it well and who makes blunders. But as long as others have not learned Chinese, you can pretend to speak excellently and teach others. Expensive. Passing on your mistakes. And not suspecting that the level of teaching and the quality of the material itself cannot be assessed. Because zero is zero.

In hell for a perfectionist, prepositions hang in every line, spelling, semantic, marketing and logical errors groan, and speakers suggest considering two versions of the text: good and bad - but both are bad.

It's a pity, because it has already gone to the masses. People initially learn wrong. And the general culture is falling. And unprofessionalism cannot be assessed - there are no experts, no one understands.

I am painfully aware of what people really need. They come to classes to talk. Познакомиться. Show yourself. But don't study. They want something amazing, exciting, entertaining. And more cookies and pretzels. They do not understand that those who want to absorb the benefit will derive it even from a five-minute conversation, that if they are penetrated, everything in the world becomes interesting. And it is impossible to learn something new if everything is considered obvious.

Although why do we need to learn and develop if we can go to a two-hour training and learn how to make a million in a week.

P.S. For those who find 40 mistakes in this text, I promise a free place in my training.

Many have such periods in life when all interest is lost in it. People begin to remember the years of their youth, when they were interested in any events, they aspired to something, achieved something. They rejoiced at every little thing and every evening, going to bed, they dreamed that a new day would come faster. Where do all these feelings disappear over the years, how to deal with it? How to regain interest in life?

Reasons why life becomes insipid

In fact, it is easy to understand why interest in life is lost. People begin to close themselves off from the outside world, do not want to see and hear everything that happens. In a similar way, a person exhibits a defensive reaction that helps to hide from the pain encountered on his life path.

Everyone can remember how often he says such phrases: I do not want to see this, I do not want to hear this, I have no desire to experience this again. During the pronunciation of such phrases, people trigger certain mechanisms:

Destruction program.
Completely close any feelings.
The real world in all its manifestations is no longer perceived.

Regardless of whether a person understands that with such thoughts he gives an order to launch a program of destruction, he acts. There are several channels of perception, on which the understanding of the surrounding reality depends. How to regain interest in life? You need to learn how to properly perceive the world around you.

Signs of depression

If there is no interest in life, what to do? How do you know if a person has depression? Psychologists define it by the following features:

A person ceases to please any events that previously caused positive emotions. Apathy, sadness, guilt and despondency appear.
The person no longer sees a way out of the current situation.
Interest in sex life is lost and physical activity is reduced. Sleep became short, and interest in food was lost.
Self-confidence completely disappears, and a person begins to avoid other people. In some cases, suicidal thoughts appear.
People can no longer control their feelings and emotions.

It is quite difficult to get out of this state, but it is possible, and in such a situation it would be useful to seek help from a psychologist.

Vision is a visual channel of perception

Thanks to vision, people have the ability to see, to distinguish a large number of shades, to notice everything that is happening around. When people age, their eyesight deteriorates, but not because the ability to see is lost. Scientists conducted many experiments and were able to prove that it can be 100% even in old age.

The visual perception of the surrounding reality depends on how ready a person is to notice and accept everything that surrounds him. Any resentment, manifestation of anger and irritation "closes people's eyes." Diseases associated with the loss or deterioration of vision appear due to the fact that people do not like everything they see in their lives. In children, such illnesses arise because they do not want to see what is happening in their families.

Hearing - the auditory channel of perception

Hearing is the most important channel for perception of the surrounding world. It also affects the ability to speak. Vibrations that are emitted by sound are perceived not only by the organs of hearing, but by the whole body. Therefore, when a person closes the possibility of perceiving information with the organs of hearing, he is fenced off from life and the surrounding reality.

People often ask back what was said, in large part because their attention is so distracted. Also, auditory perception is closed in cases where the interlocutor screams loudly, especially if it is something unpleasant. Children often have hearing problems due to high-profile scandals in the family, they do not want to perceive it, and as a result, various diseases arise.

Sensory channel of perception: sensations and feelings

A person receives most of the information through feelings, and he closes them, if something goes wrong, instantly. Often this happens when he is faced with insurmountable obstacles, such as fear, resentment, love suffering. Life becomes uninteresting because its taste is lost. It has a direct connection with the perception of any smells, tastes, and tactile sensations are of great importance.

People often resort to the easiest way to turn off such a channel of perception - this is smoking. Also, you can dull your feelings by closing yourself in, computer games and the Internet allow you to escape reality into another world. Today, when technology has developed to a high level, this happens very often.

If you lose interest in life, what to do? There are some rules for those who have lost interest in life, they will help to regain it.

You need to completely change your schedule. This may be a change in the route that a person follows to work. Perhaps you should abandon the transport that he follows, or get off a little earlier than your stop and continue on foot. Many people find it helpful to listen to their favorite music while traveling and commuting to work. This helps to strengthen the nervous system.

How to regain interest in life? Psychologist's advice: you need to start experimenting and stop being afraid of the new in your life. It is also important to stop eating the same food. Change your hairstyle, if it has not changed for a long time, update your wardrobe. You need to start enjoying all sorts of innovations.

It would be useful to update the interior in your home, you may even have to throw away some old things and purchase new ones. It also helps to add new colors to the interior of the apartment.

You will need to become a little selfish and get rid of those duties that were habitual and took a lot of time, but were not necessary. You need to start loving yourself and stop listening to someone, learn to believe in yourself. Rejoice in any small positive events in your life.

What needs to be done to regain the will to live

How to regain interest in life? The advice of psychologists boils down to the fact that you need to learn to accept the world around you as it is, and treat yourself in the same way, perceive yourself as real in this world and begin to respect. Be grateful for everything that happens in your life.

When a person has lost interest in life, what to do? Everything is very simple, in fact, life responds to what a person does in it, and all events do not happen by chance. To start living and enjoying what is happening, it is enough just to be a person with a capital letter, to believe in yourself and not to commit

In order to have a desire to live, a person must be completely satisfied with himself and everything that he does. Of course, it is difficult to imagine a person who will be satisfied with everything that happens, but he himself is not successful. But many believe that success is money. Everything is much simpler, a successful person is one who realizes himself and loves his kind of activity. There are people who do not have a large fortune, but consider themselves successful and enjoy life.

Success is not about having an expensive house, a car, a yacht. All these are just trifles of life compared to when a person was able to realize himself. A successful person always returns home with great joy and is glad to meet people close to him. Such people know what their meaning of life is, they have clearly defined goals to which they aspire.

If you have lost interest in life, what can be done the simplest? Even some of the world's leading psychologists advise not to lose a sense of humor in any, even the most difficult situation. And sometimes you can laugh at yourself.

There are moments that help get rid of depression.

It is necessary, as strange as it sounds, to balance the diet. Stop doing all sorts of snacks that do not lead to anything good. It is necessary to properly balance your diet so that you do not have to resort to the additional use of some vitamin complexes. It is useful to eat a small amount of dark chocolate, it helps

It helps to cope with the problems of keeping your diary, in which you need to write down any little things that happen in life, both successes and defeats. Sometimes there are cases that help get out of depression - this is a state of shock. These are moments when a person needs to urgently act in a given situation. In such a state, he forgets about all the problems that do not allow him to live normally. It is important that such actions are under the control of a specialist, otherwise the negative consequences can be very dangerous.

Lost interest in life? You need to pay attention to such simple things as the daily routine and night. Analyze if the sleep and rest regimen is correct. First of all, you need to normalize sleep and be sure to find some favorite activity that will become a hobby. Thanks to this, you can completely escape from pressing problems.

If it seems that everything in life is bad, then how to find interest in life? You need to reconsider your views on her and understand that she is rich in many positive events. You need to become more optimistic. Believe that life can change in a positive way, and start making every effort to do so.

Most people tend to exaggerate what is happening in their lives. You need to look back and analyze what is happening, and then everything will begin to fall into place. Perhaps some of the problems were too exaggerated or even far-fetched. Best of all, in cases where depression has overcome, look around and see how colorful the world around is. Start enjoying life and things will start to get better.

Pause in your affairs as a means of combating depression

How to restore a person's interest in life with the help of a pause in business? There is nothing difficult in this. You just need to relax, maybe meditate or go to relax in nature. To feel how pleasant it is to meet the dawn in some of your favorite places. Spend the evening by the fire. Watch how the water flows, and at the same time not remember your problems. Listen to your soul and remember some pleasant moments in life.

Remind yourself of your life purpose

How to return the joy and interest in life? To do this, a person needs to remember his innermost dreams, because everyone had them. It is necessary, as it were, to return to the past and find what pleased at that time, the meaning that gave energy and the desire to live. Then it’s good to think at what exact moment a turning point occurred in life and what exactly happened, why to live. Then you need to mentally return to the place and time when it happened, and rewrite the past. After such a rethinking of everything that happens, you should begin to live in complete harmony with your soul and check everything with it. The medicine that can help overcome psychological difficulties is in everyone's soul.

How to stop blocking feelings

There are 2 options for psychologists' advice on how to regain interest in life and stop blocking feelings.

First: you need to try to look inside yourself, as it were, to understand what kind of emotions you want to hide from others and yourself. Then you need to accept them completely, feel, experience and just let go.

It is best to do this in childhood. A child can freely, without embarrassment, cry if someone offended him, and immediately forget about everything and start playing, doing his favorite thing. Thus, children easily let go of negative emotions.

It is much more difficult for an adult. He needs to find a place where no one will see him. Calm down and understand what emotions are most disturbing to him. When he has dealt with this, he needs to accept them, to feel them fully, and so he can dump negative emotions. Negative feelings will no longer be blocked, and it will become much easier.

The second option: a person needs to seek help from a psychotherapist.

Laughter is the simplest cure for depression

A person just needs to perceive everything easier. Start every morning with a smile and understand that life is beautiful, no matter what. It is very useful to watch comedy films. Such a simple therapy has helped many to begin to enjoy life and get rid of negative emotions that eat from the inside.

Conclusion

There is a well-known truth: any correctly posed question carries an answer. A person wondering how to regain interest in life is already on the right track.

How does it happen? Life truth…

The head of the personnel department or company orders or sends employees to training in the hope that they will "enlighten" ... However, they come back almost the same ... The head thinks that the problem is in the trainer. And send it to someone else. Then to one more. One more. To one more...

But every time he hears:

We didn’t learn anything new (but is this the purpose of the training? What’s the use of the new if we don’t even use the old one).
Is it possible to learn / learn something in two days (by the way, 5 years at the university did not help them either).
They were bored (training your brain to think for the first time in many years, sometimes, is not a very fun activity ... And in general ... who said that a coach is a jester or toastmaster and his task is to amuse employees for the employer's money).
It's all so hard to apply (in fact, I just don't want to even try).

How would you like? Dream of life...

The head of the personnel department or company orders or sends employees to training in the hope that they will "enlighten" ...

However, they come back almost the same... But no... Something in them has changed. At first, barely perceptible, and then looking closer, the leader understands - very, very specific. And not only in themselves. They began to work differently. It applies to the company, to customers, to colleagues… Efficiency has changed. And yes, their lives are getting better...

Unfortunately, sometimes a dream remains a dream. Although this is strange ... After all, the same employees, and not only them, have the same, cherished dream of their own. But for a long time it remains only a dream ... Why? What are the reasons? Why do people really not want to develop, to take a step forward?

It's easier to be irresponsible… More convenient… Taking responsibility for your results in life and work — oh, what a difficult task. Each step in development is an increase in responsibility. But also a different result, a different standard of living, realization. However, the desire for irresponsibility is stronger. A sort of "childish" position, because psychologically an adult can handle adult responsibility. It's easier to say: "We have expensive goods, so they don't take them." Hard to tell : "I don't know how to sell high. But I should be able to. What can I do to be able to sell high?" And start acting accordingly.
Trusting yourself and believing in yourself is difficult.... Trust yourself that a new step on the shoulder. And this is an amazing paradox. People want to be believed when they don't believe in themselves... The sales manager asks for a salary because he's not sure he'll earn a percentage. But besides that, he actually insists that the employer be sure that the salary is not a waste of money for this manager.
It is very pleasant and calm to live within their narrow boundaries and limits. They are cramped, but they give the very support that is not inside. The cage doesn't have to be golden. Sometimes the usual, simple will do. Sometimes it is so dilapidated, so bursting at the seams that it practically does not hold. But even the illusion of a frame is too pleasant and calm to part with it if there is no inner core. The enterprise is closed. People haven't been paid for over a year now. But… they still come to work. Does not work. They just come. They just leave. They are not looking for a new job. And they are doing nothing to improve the situation on this one either.
It is difficult to refuse explanations and excuses. After all, then you have to understand that it is not someone else who is to blame for your failures, but you yourself! This is not just taking responsibility, it is a rejection of the sometimes very favorite pastime - the search and finding the guilty ones. A young man at an executive training asked a question: "Why do they put me as the director of the branch, because I only worked for 2 years. Colleagues - old-timers are offended." Then I understood. There was a turning point in his communication with the current director. When reporting for problems in solving a certain issue, he stopped making excuses, looking for reasons. Just said: "It's my fault!" The director understood that he would leave his offspring in good hands. Anyone who pleads guilty automatically takes a chance to correct, improve the state of affairs.
I don't want to destroy what we have now. And who said that there is generally something to destroy? A simple example is with a husband-wife in a difficult and strained relationship, but in no way agreeing to a divorce. If there is so much strength to hold the fragments of a broken vase, then there will be strength to create a new one or still glue the existing one with high quality. A girl at work experiences tremendous discomfort. Career - for many years there. The salary is not happy. Constantly changing bosses are annoying. In the very near future, all this may finally collapse - she may be fired. What's stopping you from leaving? What's the point of clinging to something that's already been destroyed?
The demand will be greater. Oh, this is a great memory of the fact that whoever is lucky, they go on that. People see one side of the coin - there will be more demand, duties, responsibilities. But they do not notice and do not know how to use the second side. There will be more opportunities too! Many sales professionals are afraid of raising their targets, and therefore do not particularly strive to exceed them. They are afraid that there will be more demand from the manager, that it may take more work or think more (this is more true). But they do not think about what opportunities will open up to them if they take new heights ... They do not think about how they could use them.
This is the experience, there is no other, that is, there is no positive or simply another, new example. Like it or not, but the environment affects us. As well as we are on it. Sometimes people don't want to develop simply because they don't have an example, they don't have experience, they don't have an idea of what's next - beyond the horizon? "Grandfather and grandmother did not study? They did not study. And they lived - normally. Mom and dad also seem to live normally. Well, I will live" such thoughts are not uncommon. True, this is normal - in fact, not about normal. This is actually about what a person can agree to, what he can put up with, but not about what really suits him like that. The truth is that many, oddly enough, do not think that the conditions of life in which we live are now different from those that were 100 years ago. And that means methods, tools too.
Unwillingness to see obvious things. By the way, optimists are not those people who see the world in a pink light, and pessimists are not those who see in a dark one. In my opinion, optimists see opportunities, while pessimists see risks. But at the same time, both of them see the obvious things. But lovers of rose-colored glasses do not want to part with them. Like that joke.

- Mash, your husband is walking ...
- Nothing ... He is warmly dressed.

Unwillingness to make decisions. Very close to responsibility. However, all of the above are interconnected. I think it's already obvious. After all, as a rule, there are several reasons, a complex. The head of one of the firms knows that some employees steal from him. But for 2 years now he has not been able to make a decision to at least dismiss the perpetrators. Postponing and postponing for "tomorrow". And they are in no hurry to postpone theft.
The inability to create, create, create. Unfortunately, this also has problems. As well as with the manifestation of these abilities. Creativity needs conditions - freedom of thought, manifestation of individuality, acceptance by others of freedom of thought and individuality. Unfortunately, we may want it but not accept it. Because we don't know what to do with it. We are afraid, like any unknown, new, and therefore uncontrollable. The leader may ask and even demand ideas and creativity from his employees, but criticizing them, time after time, he achieves only their mediocrity. Or the leader may be afraid of creative employees, or rather, his inability to cope and apply both them and his own creativity.
Patience. We have developed this quality very well. Fabulous. Just not in the right direction. It would be nice to use it for its intended purpose, in a better direction. We can tolerate negative conditions, but we cannot "tolerate" the transition to positive or positive ones. The girl worked for 4 years under the guidance of a chef who liked to joke around. Having come to the company with an adequate leader, she ran away for 3 weeks - she could not stand an adequate boss. This is, indeed, a true story.
Willingness to settle for little. Better a titmouse in hand... Remember. We know and we act. For some reason, we think that if we chase a crane, then we will definitely lose a titmouse ... What if not? Suddenly it is possible to "keep" a titmouse in the hand, and a crane in the sky? A simple example: a novice manager in one of the companies set himself an ambitious goal - in 3 years to grow up to the director of the company at the level of a good medium-sized business. He did not become a director of such a firm. But he became the commercial director of the largest firm of federal importance, having moved to Moscow. And the goal ... The goal has changed - it's not hard to guess how.
Not the ability to fight for more. Alas...we can't. What is there more. We just can't do it for ourselves. But why fight? Maybe for a start, at least just strive for it? Take not only the first step, but the second, third. An employee came to the boss and says that he has a cool idea. The chief, in order to check for readiness to implement it, says that it is difficult to implement or asks to calculate it more thoroughly. As a result, the employee does nothing, hangs his head and leaves. Then he complains to his colleagues that the boss does not accept the idea. Although the chief, seeing his confidence in the idea and perseverance, would have agreed.

Is it worth dragging those who do not want to develop? Not worth it. They have their own speed. Look for those who have at least the same speed as you. And if more, then start training yourself to run very fast.