American: "I must admit that the Russians cannot be defeated because of the language!". The Americans have revealed the secret of the invincible Russian army Where the monkey scratches the log on the satellite

American story:

“I am an American, but I grew up in the USSR, my father served as a naval attache at the embassy in Moscow.

Having lived for 12 childhood years in Moscow, when I left, I spoke Russian better than English. But that's not the point, we recently moved to another house and I found my logs, which I kept while serving in radio intelligence in the Pacific. My abilities in Russian were in demand by the Navy intelligence and I served with them from 1979 to 1984. On duty and for myself, I kept a journal. He handed over the breech to the archive, and his own. We - 7 people, including two former German officers who were in captivity in the USSR, were considered the best linguists in the Navy. We listened to the broadcast 24/7 and sometimes, especially when there were exercises, we spent 18 hours on headphones.

There was something in the recording, but mostly "live" broadcast. I must admit that the Russians cannot be defeated precisely because of the language. The most interesting was said between peers or friends, they were not shy in expressions. I've only skimmed through a few pages of my old posts, here are a few:

Where is the log?
- Fuck knows, they say, on the satellite it scratches a macaque.
Translation:
- Where is Captain Derevianko?
- I don’t know, but they say that it works through a closed communication channel and monitors American tests of the Mk-48 torpedo prototype

Sergei, check. Dimka told me that the Canadian in your basin was rinsing the z*lup.
Translation:
- Sergey, Dmitry reported that a Canadian anti-submarine helicopter is conducting acoustic sounding in your sector.

South west of your fifth, flat-ass shit in porridge, a screen in the snow.
Translation:
- (South west of your fifth?) a military transport aircraft drops light acoustic buoys in the area of ​​\u200b\u200bthe possible location of a K-series submarine, many small objects on the radar screen.

The main bourgeois sits under the weather, is silent.
Translation:
- An American aircraft carrier camouflages itself in a stormy area, observing radio silence.

Stargazer sees a bubble, already with snot.
Translation:
- The optical observation station reports that the American aircraft tanker has released a fuel hose.

We have here a narrow-eyed fool turned on, they say, sorry, he lost his course, the motor broke down, and he jerked off. His pair of dry bypassed, their Birch was screaming.
- Drive him to x * d, I don't want to get pi * dy for this jaundice. If necessary, let the border guards wrap him in a fart, and draw a team to our special officer to draw a fairy tale.
Translation:
- During a fleet exercise, a South Korean vessel came close to the area of ​​operations, citing breakdowns. When flying over a pair of Su-15s, the Bereza warning radar went off.
- Tram-ram ..., when trying to leave the area, deprive the ship of progress and tow.

When analyzing World War II, American military historians discovered a very interesting fact. Namely, in a sudden clash with the forces of the Japanese, the Americans, as a rule, made decisions much faster - and, as a result, defeated even superior enemy forces. After examining this pattern, scientists came to the conclusion that the average word length for Americans is 5.2 characters, while for Japanese it is 10.8. Consequently, it takes 56% less time to issue orders, which plays an important role in a short battle. For the sake of "interest", they analyzed Russian speech - and it turned out that the length of a word in Russian is 7.2 characters per word (on average), however, in critical situations, Russian-speaking command personnel switch to profanity - and the word length is reduced to (!) 3.2 characters in the word. This is due to the fact that some phrases and even phrases are replaced by one word. An example is the phrase:

32nd - I order to immediately destroy the enemy tank, firing at our positions -
32nd - yo * not for this x * yu!

“I am an American, but I grew up in the USSR, my father served as a naval attache at the embassy in Moscow.

Having lived for 12 childhood years in Moscow, when I left, I spoke Russian better than English. But that's not the point, we recently moved to another house and I found my logs, which I kept while serving in radio intelligence in the Pacific. My abilities in Russian were in demand by the Navy intelligence and I served with them from 1979 to 1984. On duty and for myself, I kept a journal. He handed over the breech to the archive, and his own. We - 7 people, including two former German officers who were in captivity in the USSR, were considered the best linguists in the Navy. We listened to the broadcast 24/7 and sometimes, especially when there were exercises, we spent 18 hours on headphones.

There was something in the recording, but mostly "live" broadcast. I must admit that the Russians cannot be defeated precisely because of the language. The most interesting was said between peers or friends, they were not shy in expressions. I've only skimmed through a few pages of my old posts, here are a few:

Where is the log?
- Fuck knows, they say, on the satellite it scratches a macaque.
Translation:
- Where is Captain Derevianko?
- I don’t know, but they say that it works through a closed communication channel and monitors American tests of the Mk-48 torpedo prototype

Sergei, check. Dimka told me that the Canadian in your basin was rinsing the z*lup.
Translation:
- Sergey, Dmitry reported that a Canadian anti-submarine helicopter is conducting acoustic sounding in your sector.

South west of your fifth, flat-ass shit in porridge, a screen in the snow.
Translation:
- (South west of your fifth?) a military transport aircraft drops light acoustic buoys in the area of ​​\u200b\u200bthe possible location of a K-series submarine, many small objects on the radar screen.

The main bourgeois sits under the weather, is silent.
Translation:
- An American aircraft carrier camouflages itself in a stormy area, observing radio silence.

Stargazer sees a bubble, already with snot.
Translation:
- The optical observation station reports that the American aircraft tanker has released a fuel hose.

We have here a narrow-eyed fool turned on, they say, sorry, he lost his course, the motor broke down, and he jerked off. His pair of dry bypassed, their Birch was screaming.
- Drive him to x * d, I don't want to get pi * dy for this jaundice. If necessary, let the border guards wrap him in a fart, and draw a team to our special officer to draw a fairy tale.
Translation:
- During a fleet exercise, a South Korean vessel came close to the area of ​​operations, citing breakdowns. When flying over a pair of Su-15s, the Bereza warning radar went off.
- Tram-ram ..., when trying to leave the area, deprive the ship of progress and tow.

When analyzing World War II, American military historians discovered a very interesting fact. Namely, in a sudden clash with the forces of the Japanese, the Americans, as a rule, made decisions much faster - and, as a result, defeated even superior enemy forces. After examining this pattern, scientists came to the conclusion that the average word length for Americans is 5.2 characters, while for Japanese it is 10.8. Consequently, it takes 56% less time to issue orders, which plays an important role in a short battle. For the sake of "interest", they analyzed Russian speech - and it turned out that the length of a word in Russian is 7.2 characters per word (on average), however, in critical situations, Russian-speaking command personnel switch to profanity - and the word length is reduced to (!) 3.2 characters in the word. This is due to the fact that some phrases and even phrases are replaced by one word. An example is the phrase:

32nd - I order to immediately destroy the enemy tank, firing at our positions -
32nd - yo * not for this x * yu!

I am an American, but I grew up in the USSR, my father served as a naval attache at the embassy in Moscow.

Having lived for 12 childhood years in Moscow, when I left, I spoke Russian better than English. But that's not the point, we recently moved to another house and I found my logs, which I kept while serving in radio intelligence in the Pacific. My abilities in Russian were in demand by the Navy intelligence and I served with them from 1979 to 1984. On duty and for myself, I kept a journal. He handed over the breech to the archive, and his own. We - 7 people, including two former German officers who were in captivity in the USSR, were considered the best linguists in the Navy. We listened to the broadcast 24/7 and sometimes, especially when there were exercises, we spent 18 hours on headphones.
There was something in the recording, but mostly "live" broadcast. I must admit that the Russians cannot be defeated precisely because of the language. The most interesting was said between peers or friends, they were not shy in expressions. I've only skimmed through a few pages of my old posts, here are a few:

When analyzing World War II, American military historians discovered a very interesting fact. Namely, in a sudden clash with the forces of the Japanese, the Americans, as a rule, made decisions much faster - and, as a result, defeated even superior enemy forces. After examining this pattern, scientists came to the conclusion that the average word length for Americans is 5.2 characters, while for Japanese it is 10.8. Consequently, it takes 56% less time to issue orders, which plays an important role in a short battle. For the sake of "interest", they analyzed Russian speech - and it turned out that the length of a word in Russian is 7.2 characters per word (on average), however, in critical situations, Russian-speaking command personnel switch to profanity - and the word length is reduced to (!) 3.2 characters in the word. This is due to the fact that some phrases and even phrases are replaced by one word. An example is the phrase:

32nd - I order to immediately destroy the enemy tank, firing at our positions -
32nd - fuck this dick!

Friends and not only: in fairness, I want to clarify - this article is not mine, and it is not known by whom and when it was written. Kamrad katarosov pointed out that the source But other comrades claim that they heard this story from the lips of Zadornov six years ago. Where the truth is is not known, probably, as always, somewhere in the middle. But what is written above is a button accordion (approx. very ancient material), akin to the Word about Igor's Campaign, i.e. by whom and when it was written is not clear. But in any case, the button accordion is interesting, and has not lost its relevance, even today, but this is already IMHO))).

ZZY To be honest, I doubt a little that the author of this opus of what is above is Mikhail Nikolaevich Zadornov. I don't believe this, but maybe I'm wrong)))

How do you think, Russian language really as complicated as almost all foreigners think? It seems to us that not very ... But, try to translate or explain some phrases, idioms that are understandable only to a Russian person.1. The glass is on the table, and the fork lies. If we stick a fork into the countertop, the fork will stand. That is, there are vertical objects, but horizontal ones lie?

Adding a plate and pan to the table. They seem to be horizontal, but they stand on the table. Now put the plate in the pan. There she lies, but she stood on the table. Maybe there are items ready for use? No, the fork was ready when it lay.

Now the cat is climbing on the table. She can stand, sit and lie down. If in terms of standing and lying, it somehow climbs into the “vertical-horizontal” logic, then sitting is a new property. She sits on her butt. Now a bird has landed on the table. She sits on the table, but sits on her feet, not on the pope. Although it looks like it should be. But she can't stand at all. However, if we kill the poor bird and make a scarecrow, it will stand on the table.

It may seem that sitting is an attribute of the living, but the boot also sits on the leg, although it is not alive and does not have priests. So, go and understand what is standing, what is lying, and what is sitting.

2. Only in our country the word " yes" is synonymous with " please», « Thank you», « Good afternoon», « not at all" and " Sorry", and the word" let's" in most cases replaces " goodbye».

3. Why do we have the future tense, the present and the past, but still we can express the past with the present tense (“ I'm walking down the street yesterday"), and the future (" Tomorrow I'm going to the cinema”), and with the past tense we can express an order (“ Got out of here quickly!»)?

We watch, read and savor every phrase from ADME:

It will be difficult to explain to a foreigner the following Russian phrases and idioms:

* Old New Year.
* Make the fire quieter.
* Hear what it smells like.
* No, probably not.
* Loose stools.
* I beg you for an hour.
* The trace is cold.
* I'm deep purple.
* The tongue of the bast does not knit.
* Hold the tail with a gun.
* Hands to feet and forward.
* Drop skates.
* Nick down.
* Kvass on black.
* Terrifying as well.
* Goofed off.
* Drunk insole.
* Cold boiling water (cooled boiling water).
* No question.
* Come on, take it.
* Damn, of course you can, beer.
* All hares are goats. (sign on the bus)
* I'll show you Kuzka's mother. (Khrushchev)
* Ekarny bogeyman.
* Beat the buckets.
* Possessed zamukhryshka.
* Do not sleep - you will freeze.
* Let's eat let's eat (let's eat let's eat).
* Let's fuck the dog.
* Shit in the morning.
* Got into trouble.
* Mind chamber.
* We ate the dog on this.
* Nook.
* I was swept up by garbage.

If a foreigner overhears a Russian dialogue, his brain will explode:

— Dear, give me the invisibility.
- Which one, red or blue? - Why are you offended?
- Patamushta, damn it ...

— Is that your blackcurrant?
- No, red.
- What's white then?
- Because it's green!

— I spilled dry wine.
- Wipe it off with a damp cloth.

“Well, there’s no light, right?”
- Well no.

— Try the language under horseradish.
- Delicious, die and not get up!

- Yesterday they drank, today I almost died, then they had a hangover, it would be better if I died yesterday ...

This difficult Russian language)))

Phrases in strong Russian generally make foreigners crazy:

Only one word in a sentence and the foreigner is finished:

— Mowed oblique oblique oblique.
- Oh @ ate, nah @ yaril doh @ I - rasx @ yarivay.

A little more - the revelations of an American sailor:

I must admit that the Russians cannot be defeated precisely because of the language. The most interesting was said between peers or friends, they were not shy in expressions. I skimmed through just a few pages of my old posts, here are some: Russian conversation:
- Where is the log?
- Fuck knows, they say on the satellite the macaque scratches.

Translation:
— Where is Captain Derevianko?
- I don’t know, but they say that it works via a closed communication channel and monitors American tests of the MK-48 torpedo prototype (Mark-48, then our development was still promising)

Russian conversation:
- Serega, check, Dimka said that the Canadian in your pelvis is rinsing s *** ny.

Translation:
Sergey, Dmitry reported that a Canadian anti-submarine helicopter is conducting acoustic sounding in your sector. (The echo sounder probe is lowered on the cable - it looks like an inverted bell in shape.)

Russian conversation:
- South-west of your fifth, flat-ass shitting in porridge, screen in the snow.

Translation:
— (Southwest of your fifth?) Military transport aircraft drops light acoustic buoys in the area of ​​​​the possible location of the K-series submarine, many small objects on the radar screen.

Russian conversation:
- The main bourgeois sits under the weather, is silent.

Translation:
- An American aircraft carrier is camouflaged in a stormy area, observing radio silence.

Russian conversation:
- The stargazer sees a bubble, already with snot.

Translation:
“The optical observation station reports that the American tanker plane has released a fuel hose.

Russian conversation:
- We have here a narrow-eyed fool turned on, they say sorry, he lost his course, the engine broke down, and he urinates. His pair of dry bypassed them Birch yelled.
- Fuck him, I don't want to get n** for this jaundice. If necessary, let the border guards wrap him in a fart, and draw a team to our special officer to draw a fairy tale.

Translation:
During a fleet exercise, a South Korean vessel came close to the area of ​​operations, citing breakdowns. When flying over a pair of Su-15s, the Bereza warning radar went off. Tram-ram ..., when trying to leave the area, deprive the ship of progress and tow.

And finally:

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• Pictures with quotes (quotes in pictures) are the best ...

I am an American, but I grew up in the USSR, my father served as a naval attache at the embassy in Moscow. Having lived in Moscow for 12 childhood years, when I left, I spoke Russian better than English. My abilities in Russian were in demand by the intelligence of the Navy and I served them from 1979 to 1984. On duty and for myself, I kept a journal. He handed over the breech to the archive, and his own.

There was something in the recording, but mostly "live" broadcast. I HAD TO RECOGNIZE THE RUSSIANS CANNOT BE BEAT BECAUSE OF THE LANGUAGE.

The most interesting was said between peers or friends, they were not shy in expressions. I've only skimmed through a few pages of my old posts, here are a few:

WHERE IS THE LOG?

FUCK KNOWS HIM, THEY SAY, ON THE SATELLITE THE MACACO IS ITCHING.

WHERE IS CAPTAIN DEREVYANKO?

I DON'T KNOW, THEY SAY IT WORKS ON A CLOSED COMMUNICATION CHANNEL AND TRACKS AMERICAN TESTS OF THE Mk-48 TORPEDO PROTOTYPE /

SEREGA, CHECK. DIMKA TOLD THAT THE CANADIAN IS RINSING YOUR BOWL IN YOUR BOWL.

SERGEY, DMITRY REPORTED THAT A CANADIAN ANTI-SUBMARINE HELICOPTER IS CARRYING OUT ACOUSTIC SOUNDING IN YOUR SECTOR.

SOUTHWEST OF YOUR FIFTH, FLAT-SHOT IN PORRIDGE, SCREEN IN SNOW.

- (SOUTH-WEST OF YOUR FIFTH?) MILITARY TRANSPORT AIRCRAFT DISCHARGE ACOUSTIC BUOYATER IN THE AREA OF THE POSSIBLE LOCATION OF THE SERIES "K" SUBMARINE, A LOT OF SMALL OBJECTS ON THE RADAR SCREEN.

THE CHIEF BOURGEON IS SITTING UNDER THE WEATHER, SILENT.

AN AMERICAN AIRCASE CARRIER CLOSES IN A STORM AREA, OBSERVING RADIO SILENCE.

STARGAZER SEES A BUBBLE, ALWAYS WITH SPITS.

OPTICAL SURVEILLANCE STATION REPORTS THAT AMERICAN TANKER PLANE IS OUT OF FUEL HOSE.

DRIVE HIM TO X, I DO NOT WANT TO GET P-DY FOR THIS JAUNDICE. IF NECESSARY, LET THE BORDERS WRAPPED HIM IN A PERDAK, AND THE TEAM TO DRAW A TALE TO OUR SPECIALIST.

DURING A FLEET EXERCISE, A KOREAN VESSEL CAME CLOSE TO THE AREA OF OPERATIONS SUGGESTING A BREAKDOWN. WHEN THE SU-15 PAIR OVERFLOWED, THE BIRCH WARNING RADAR STATION WORKED.

TELL YOU GO, I DON'T WANT TROUBLE BECAUSE OF THIS KOREAN. IF IT TRYS TO LEAVE THE AREA, DESTROY THE VESSEL AND TOW IT, AND THE TEAM FOR INTERROGATION.

When analyzing World War II, American military historians discovered a very interesting fact. Namely, in a sudden clash with Japanese forces, the Americans, as a rule, made decisions much faster and, as a result, defeated even superior enemy forces. After examining this pattern, scientists came to the conclusion that the average word length for Americans is 5.2 characters, while for Japanese it is 10.8. Therefore, it takes 56% LESS TIME to issue orders. For the sake of "interest", they analyzed the Russian speech and it turned out that the length of words in the Russian language is on average 7.2 characters, HOWEVER, IN CRITICAL SITUATIONS, THE RUSSIAN-SPEAKING TEAM SWITCHES TO NORMATIVE VOCABULARY - AND THE LENGTH OF WORDS IS REDUCED TO (!) 3.2 characters.