For example, because he has his own point of view. And if this person sees that pressure is exerted on him, and not a request, he begins to rebel.

If you saw such a person, then you can imagine that it’s hard for him to re-educate himself. And all third-party attempts to remake it - do not bring any success.

Teamwork \u003d\u003d\u003d

Work is a special place when the end result of work depends on the activities of the whole team. This is especially evident in business. When everyone receives a thing, then he does something with it and transfers it to another employee.

It’s like on a conveyor belt. Suppose this is a factory. And you work in the sales department of finished products. It depends on you whether what the factory manufactures will be sold, whether the workers of the plant (turners, security guards, storekeepers, drivers, technicals, ...) will receive on time the salary they expected.

External manifestations of the "absence" of the employee at his post \u003d\u003d\u003d

It happens that some employee falls out of the general rhythm of the team. Take a look around. Look closely at those in your group who stand apart. He does not take the initiative. There is no interest in his eyes. He speaks monotonously only when he is asked to say something. The workplace is often distracted from fulfilling their duties.

Even if this person could do a lot, even when he needs a lot of money, he will not be able to force himself to turn on at full power.

You can expect anything from such a person, even the fact that he will drop everything and leave his workplace. It doesn’t matter if he works as a lathe operator on a machine tool, as a security guard, or even as a shop manager. The benefit of the law allows the employee to drop everything and leave in the middle of the working day. He will not incur any material and especially criminal liability. In addition to some professions, such as a doctor or fireman.

How the world of submission works

Suppose this happened to you. It is you who have no interest in the job. When your well-being depends only on you. Because, even if you force yourself to go to this work through force, the time will come and you will be replaced by another employee.

And this does not happen because your boss changes, or he starts to treat you worse. You keep going to work. Just every year requirements to performance  workplace tighten. Productivity is the amount of product produced at your workplace. For a turner, this is the number of Parts delivered to the warehouse. For an employee of the sales department - the number of received and paid Orders from customers. The employee is required more and more completed and fully completed actions at his workplace.

And this implies an increase in labor productivity. A good example is the work of accounting. Where up to 10 accountants worked 20 years ago, today it is doing one or two! Where 20 employees of the sales department worked - 2-3 remained.

What do you do?

If you are not lucky at this workplace. You do not like the very idea of \u200b\u200bgetting up in the morning and going to this hard labor ... Change your bosses, or become a boss yourself. Why spoil the nerves of yourself and people? The boss is not to blame that you have such a character.

But, with subordinates, you will have to teach yourself communication. You may have to go through trainings on "resolving communication problems."

In any case, there are no hopeless situations. The people inhabiting the Earth before us - all this has already passed and we have left the rules of normal communication.

Almost any situation is solvable if you have a successful coach.

Is it possible to become a coach for myself

We know many cases when a person did his own operations on his body. They like to show this in action films. Although today, even a local therapist is prohibited from suturing small wounds. He must call an ambulance and apply a bandage.

Of course, the training specialists will tell you that you yourself cannot bring yourself into working condition, here you need a specialist in psycho-training.

However, if you really want to, although it is impossible, you can do it. And here are some tips - how?

1. The same books can be read in different ways. You can go over your eyes throughout the book and say - okay, I understand everything. Or feel  that nothing is clear and discard this book.
2. The following is the observation of the work of successful people, the result in which you would like to achieve yourself. For example, you saw how quickly the leader approves the work plan of his subordinates for a week. It’s not a sin to ask, which allows you to quickly sign a work plan.
3. All successful, enthusiastic people like to count, write down the results. If a person is very turned on or offended, he will keep records. The athlete has an achievement diary. A person with high blood pressure regularly measures and records a pressure reading. Get your day-to-week revenue tracking system in place. Inundate yourself or an accountant to do this without gaps.

Conclusions and decision on credentials

If you see that according to your credentials your interlocutors have more time to listen to you carefully, for example, the average amount of time watching your videos has increased from 3 minutes to 5, then you are going in the right direction.

If your income has fallen - quickly get the source of falling income. Do not listen to those who speak of a crisis in the economy.

The crisis is for bad employees to go bankrupt, and good ones taken away from its bad customers and increased the number of customers and paid orders.

“I am a strong personality, and it’s not easy with me,” “It’s hard for me to please,” “I’m used to everything happening in my opinion.”  These are phrases of whimsical, spoiled by parental or male attention girls who consider themselves the center of the universe. They are used to dominating weak, dependent men or simply have an extremely eccentric, non-caring character. They are very controversial, and they are scandalous or show offense for any trifles. Men are required to obey completely, and when they achieve this, they immediately stop perceiving him as a man. Often they either don’t have girlfriends at all, or they have one, which they also dominate and which merge all their negativity. Anyone who is close to such a girl should immediately see not only her greatness and perfection, but also realize her own worthlessness.

The girl immediately warns you that she will break you on the knee and try to put you in a dependent position, and that she has a complex, conflicting character. There really is one, as well as a host of complexes that force her to prove to herself and others that she is the queen, and men are trash.

For solid, self-confident men is dual. She respects them as colleagues, mentors, leaders, etc., but in a personal relationship, such a girl will either try to break the character of a man and turn the latter into a “rag,” or break up with a screech and scandal if he does not break. An example of such a girl is given in paragraph 20 of the chapter "Literature review, or twenty-one advice on how to lose a man."

Although there were cases when a girl understood that a man is still stronger and firmer, after which, fearing to lose (like him), she stopped running around with her imaginary crown and became normal. A similar case is described in Shakespeare's play The Taming of the Shrew.

Often there is a constant mention of their own shortcomings. “I’m unpredictable,” “I’m just unbearable,” “I have a difficult character,” “it’s hard to get along with me,” “I don’t know how to be faithful,” “when I’m right, I’m not silent,” “I am very stubborn” .. Yes, anything, from “I don’t like to arrive on time” to “I love spending other people's money." Said once or twice in a joking conversation, such phrases are a kind of coquetry, flirting, sending "take care of me" or "well, say that I'm not like that, but a good girl." However, with regular serious repetition, they are a kind of warning so that “they don’t complain later”. Very often pronounced with a confident voice, with bravado, which means "Yes, I am. And you have to put up with it! ” The girl is well aware of her complexes, “cockroaches,” eccentricity, conflict, infidelity, rudeness and other vices, but she is proud of these qualities in her soul, otherwise she would have been corrected long ago. Because of them, she had many quarrels with her former young people, and now she is immediately inclined to talk about her vices, so that later she could justify herself “But I told you everything right away, no one forced you to continue relations with me” or “and no one promised that it would be easy. " Such girls do not know how to restrain themselves, and do not consider it necessary. To compromise with the young man they were not taught either. Some girls sincerely consider themselves so irresistible that others, in their opinion, should swallow all the nasty things that “princesses” do to them. By the way, they do not differ in tolerance for other people's vices, to put it mildly.

In any case, no indication of their negative side does not give the girl the right to nasty things. Remember this. And no excuses like “I warned you would be so” should not confuse you. If she does you disgusting things, why should you endure? In a conversation, it makes sense to gently pull the girl, for example, with the phrase "found something to be proud of." She will understand that you are not at all enthusiastic about her bravado with your vices.

In rare cases, girls with extremely low self-esteem and depression constantly talk about their negative aspects. These are those who want to get acquainted with a man for a long time, but for various reasons, the relationship either does not start at all, or they leave her after a short time. Such girls can be distinguished by other signs of low self-esteem and depression: low mood, complaints about myself  and on others, on their misfortunes, inability to maintain any other conversation, except about their failures (when changing the subject, it slides back to the “beloved”). In this case, self-incrimination is nothing but a sign of depression. If you have a kind, responsive character and are not afraid of constant complaints, bad mood, outbursts of irritability over nothing, then you have a chance to help a person, and it is possible that you will become her savior and win her love and devotion.

Bad character traits poison life not only to close people, but also to their owner. After all, if one's own character brings problems one after another, it is difficult to love yourself. Because of this, self-esteem falls and there is still a sea of \u200b\u200brelated problems. In this case, it is difficult to find a more logical solution, how to fix a bad character. It is not too simple, but with regular self-monitoring it is possible.

So, what bad qualities of character can and should be corrected?

Unreasonably high self-esteem, narcissism

Loving yourself is very important, but it’s important not to flaunt it. Self-love is like underwear: it should be gorgeous, but no one is showing it off. If you frankly consider yourself smarter than others and make it clear, soon no one will remain in your environment. Is it possible to fix a bad character? Easily. Every day, tell yourself that everyone has the right to their opinion and respect on your part.

Rudeness, temper, hysteria

Inability to control your own emotions and the habit of splashing them on other people is the worst character trait. It is because of this that families break up, and children grow up with a damaged psyche. In order to control yourself, you can mentally count to 10, drink a glass of water before continuing to talk or take a timeout. Learn to splash emotions elsewhere: sign up for a gym or go jogging.

The habit of lying, embellishing situations, not recognizing your mistakes

In the list of bad traits of a person’s character, a lie will always be present at the leading positions. Why do people lie? To seem better, to hide their flaws, so as not to receive a deserved punishment. In general, a lie is a manifestation of banal cowardice of character. Learn to take responsibility for your actions, words and behavior, and the need to lie will go away by itself. If your words cannot be trusted, then they are empty. And if you always say empty words - then you yourself are an empty person.

The habit of whining, offending, complaining

If you have a habit of talking bad all the time, then your character is bad. In fact, it is very difficult to stay near a person who only does that he sees problems and obstacles in everything, is depressed, worried for any reason. Help yourself: include bananas, dark chocolate, nuts, citruses in the diet - these products contain serotonin, a hormone of joy. Make it a rule to find at least three pluses in any difficult situation - and life will change!

There are many good and bad character traits - choose for yourself only what will help you to be a happy, easy person!

Bad character makes being in the company of a person uncomfortable, uncomfortable. There is anxiety and tension next to him. He does not like people, he treats them arrogantly, servilely. Almost never compromises, can, without any reason, change his mind, behavior, decision. Stubborn, loves to dominate, while not taking responsibility. After communicating with such a person, fatigue and inner emptiness are felt. There are other signs by which you can recognize people with a complex disposition.

Bad Reasons

Each of the needs below is not in itself bad. But in a hyperbolized form, it leaves a negative imprint on the character.

The need to have a strong partner nearby

A person refuses to take responsibility, seeks to shift it to the shoulders of others. To do this, he chooses a husband, wife, parents, colleagues, friends. At first, the “assistant” may not understand that they are using it while he will support, help, take responsibility, a manipulator with a bad character will try on the role of the victim. This will be expressed in such scenarios:

• i can’t find a job, therefore I’m not looking for it;
• everyone around me does not understand, therefore I will conflict with everyone;
• i don’t know how to cook (clean up, make money, etc.), so do it for me.

The need to rule over others

It is expressed in the need to dominate over everyone, to control other people's actions. A person seeks to subordinate not only people, but also situations, because everything always strives to take control of everything. He will do everything himself, since he does not trust others, he will double-check everything. He is afraid of everything that he cannot take control of. Uncertainty is his greatest discomfort. Spontaneity is not inherent in him. He feels contempt for weak people.

The need to use and manipulate others

A person with a heavy character can perceive others as a means to achieve their own goals. The problems of the rest are not interesting to him if he is refused help or does not agree with him, takes this with hostility, sometimes sincerely does not understand why he is refused to indulge. He has the art of manipulation. In case of non-receipt of benefits, it considers time spent with a person wasted.

The need for ongoing approval

A man needs his actions to be approved; it is important for him to please everyone. If someone remains unhappy with him, he will feel uncomfortable. Praise is more important than profit. A person can act to his own detriment only if he hears pleasant words addressed to him. He plays the role of a savior, he is often manipulated, but he refuses to admit it, believing that they need him and he does a good deed. But if praise is not received, first the person becomes a victim, starting to feel sorry for himself, and then to the prosecutor, making a claim.

The reason for this behavior lies in low self-esteem. From hostility in turn can become depressed. They tend to suppress feelings, often live the way others want, not understanding their own desires.

The need for admiration, narcissism

Nobody likes these people except themselves. A certain fictitious image is created in their head, according to which they are ideal. These people are narcissistic, wear a mask behind which there is nothing significant. Self-esteem is overstated. Daffodils admire themselves and constantly exalt their actions, love to brag, hyperbolize their significance. They are egocentric, the world must revolve around them, if you do not agree with them, you can immediately fall into the category of enemies.

The need to be the best

Man is constantly striving to be better than the rest. He tries to be impeccable in everything from little things to big things. This is the image of the elder, who studies best of all, tries to please all teachers to be praised, and at the same time belittles the merits of others, so that they look brighter against their background. Often it is not about real achievements, but about fictional or bloated ones.

The most important fear is defeat. Even the smallest loss is painful. Most often, such people are workaholics who use work to polish their perfection. They absolutely do not accept criticism, it unsettles them. Vengeance awakens in them, the desire to humiliate others, if only to regain leadership.

The need for prestige

Such people are dependent on how they look in the eyes of others. They strive to look successful, this is not always true. They are characterized by snobbery. They are fans of brands, such people will spend the last money on a new iPhone model and at the same time they will eat doshirak. They communicate only with the "chosen ones", whom they consider significant to emphasize their status. To interlocutors whose status is lower than them, they are highly regarded. Often suffer from self-addiction, dependent on social networks.

The need to be "invisible"

These people avoid life, are content with little. Any changes for them are associated with leaving the comfort zone. They do not believe that they can improve anything in their lives. Self-doubt is so developed that a person cannot even admit that he has the resources for development, but he is simply afraid to fulfill his desires. On the one hand, they are calm with them, they do not stick out their "I". But such a person will not enter society, he will hinder the development of a friend or a second half, stubbornly refuses any innovations and it is difficult to convince him.

Severe personality types

Bad character can be divided into several types.

Aggressive

Main features:

• hostile mood;
• propensity to conflict;
• manifestation of aggression;
• increased demands.

Man inflating conflicts. Trying to control everything around. He says everything directly, believes that his innocence should be recognized by all. He sees the goal and sees no obstacles; he is ready to go over the heads if necessary. Control and power are what he values \u200b\u200bthe most.

Operating

Main features:

• obsession;
• constant criticism;
• desire to suppress the rest.

It is believed that everyone should indulge him. His needs and desires are higher than others. He openly manipulates people, benefiting from acquaintances, communication. They differ from the aggressive type in that they are more plastic, think flexibly, play on other people's weaknesses. The schemer, likes to keep silent, to keep in ignorance, uncertainty always turns in his favor.

Avoiding

Main features:

• avoids everything from responsibility to conflict;
• secretive;
• doesn’t trust anyone.

A man lives in a shell, does not allow anyone to himself, keeps a distance in communication. Always suspicious, distrusts even close people, waiting for a catch from everything and everyone. Sometimes cynical and aggressive, especially if someone is trying to cross his personal boundaries. Relying on him is difficult, since it is impossible to say what is on the mind of such a person.

In their pure form, types are extremely rare, because various bad traits can manifest themselves in people. The concept of bad character is also subjective. For example, if a person does not do what another person would like, his character can be called complex. You need to understand that the character becomes complex as a result of education or accumulated experience.

How to distinguish a bad character from a good one

Character is an individual identity of a person, that characterizes  its basic personality traits. In the literature, you can find, for example, the phrase: "Gas with a characteristic odor." That is, by this characteristic odor alone, this gas can be distinguished from many others. It is the same with the character of a person — if he is, he shows well the distinguishing features of this person, as if “betrays” his master.

1. Character makes a person predictable. But this predictability applies only to some situations, not all. If a person does not like to lie, then he is predicted only in that he will not lie (or will, but very reluctantly). We will not be able to predict what exactly he will tell us. If someone is prone to verbal aggression (angry at the tongue), then we can be sure that sooner or later he will attack someone with reproaches or insults, but who exactly - we cannot know.

People without character, on the contrary, are either completely predictable or completely unpredictable. Predictability is a consequence of a passive life position, and unpredictability is a consequence of “cereal in the head” and (or) complete dependence on third parties. Remember this: passivity betrays in man only the absence of character.

2. Good character or bad - in many respects it is a matter of taste. Learn for yourself (as they say, at your own peril and risk) to understand people, their characters. If you are looking for a friend or spouse, then a person with a constructive, harmonious character will suit you. But if suddenly you want to torment yourself, to experience many unpleasant adventures, then a person with a destructive, disharmonious, selfish character is quite suitable for you.

A person with a constructive character, is aimed, tuned to cooperation. He is confident that both of you will benefit from cooperation. He will not oppose his interests and yours.

A person with a destructive character is constantly looking for personal gain, over and over again he makes the same mistake: "The best enemy of the good." He sees only his personal benefit, as soon as he notices that not everything possible has been squeezed out of the relationship with you, he is even more tightening the nut of the relationship. Sooner or later in the relationship, the thread breaks, and the egoist then seeks new friends.

If you are just starting to look closely at a person, then give him some checks  (tests, so to speak). Try to find out the degree of readiness of this person for cooperation.

No wonder they say that "You won’t even cook porridge with such a person." So try to start by joining forces to cook something: cook together borscht, stick dumplings, etc. If a person calmly and judiciously takes up the job and completes it, this is one thing. If he starts to bustle, constantly get out, look for personal gain, put unpleasant work on you, draw, blame you, that's another.

In joint activities, a bad character will manifest itself very quickly. Therefore, arrange other checks. You can, for example, go camping or look after a sick grandmother. If a person immediately abandons one or another idea, this does not mean anything. If he took it, but then could not do anything, while making you guilty, then this on the contrary says a lot.

3. The constructive nature of a person develops his abilities. Indeed, for the development of abilities you need a lot of time, diligence and other positive qualities. Even if a person simply has pleasant manners, this already says a lot. This means that a person loves and knows how to work on himself. If he has sports or intellectual achievements, then this is even better.

If all the “abilities” of a person consist only of the ability to lie and adapt, then with such a person you won’t cook porridge. Sooner or later, he will deceive you too. He will wait for the most suitable moment when you least expect deception and when it is most profitable to deceive you, and he will deceive.

Therefore always pay attention to human abilities, they are not only the result of some natural inclinations, but also the result of the work of character.