Jokes on the theme of the bath. Funny pictures about the bath
The bathhouse is a phenomenon of Russian culture that no foreigner has ever known! Pictures about the bathhouse partly help to understand the culture of light steam. But the bathhouse is not just a separate building where you can wash yourself!
First of all, the bath is the place of the ritual of cleansing the soul and body. And also a kind of health resort, where the existing ailments were expelled, the body warmed up, preventing diseases. Light steam is inhalation and a way of removing waste products through the pores on the body. Dousing with cold water, rubbing with snow or swimming in an ice-hole is a charge of vivacity for the coming week and the best method of hardening the body. And birch brooms are an excellent massager!
How pleasant it is to get together with a cheerful company for a joint cleansing ritual. And there is no need to desecrate this place with alcoholic drinks. Humor and laughter will come to you without additional doping. Spank each other with brooms! Rub each other's backs! This is fun, and emotional release, and the health benefits of both!
Modern sauna hats are worth noting. This is truly a treasure trove of national humor.
In the old days, rituals and ceremonies were held in the baths, because this is the most energetically clean place where evil spirits cannot enter.
Many of today's cool pictures about the bathhouse are reduced to vulgarity. This is a little depressing.
For a long time, people treated the visit to the bath with special attention and awe. Bath - brings a person peace of mind, joy, helps to restore strength and relax muscles. Emotional uplift and desire to create is another positive effect that a visit to the bath gives a person. Quotes about the bathhouse, witty statements by many famous personalities and cool proverbs are selected in this article.
Funny quotes about the bath
The red face is ablaze with fire!
Hair - on end! Eyes like headlights!
This is not a thriller on TV ...
It's my darling back from the bath!
"Sell your last pants, but have a drink after the bath." Alexander Vasilievich Suvorov.
“Send healthy rich men, limping players, intriguers and all sorts of bastards to the mineral waters. There, let them bathe in the mud. And I am truly sick. And I need - a prayer, a village hut, a bathhouse, porridge and kvass. " Alexander Vasilievich Suvorov.
In the bath, everyone is equal, and the couple obey (Kostanay Karataev)
The bath is a joyful centigrade torture. Georgy Alexandrov.
In winter, in cold weather, nudists can be found exclusively in baths, but in saunas, and only the most daring - in the ice-hole. Vladimir Borisov.
Bath - the second mother or mother.
In the bath, everyone is equal, and the couple obey - Kostanay KarataevThe soul regularly asks for the sea, and its feet are constantly carried to the bathhouse. The author of the proverb: Yuri Tatarkin.
I don't go to the bathhouse. They are not allowed into the women's room, but the men's room is not interesting.
Only in the bath it makes sense to change the awl for soap. Yuri Melikhov.
About one dirty bath, Diogenes asked: "And where to wash for those who washed here?" Based on the story of Diogenes Laertius.
Once washing in the bath, the Demonact could not dare to go into the hot water. Someone began to reproach him with cowardice. "Tell me, for the sake of the fatherland, should I do this?" - objected the Demonact. Lucian of Samosata.
He who loves the people should take him to the bathhouse. Heinrich Heine.
There are few afflictions in the world that a hot bath does not heal. Sylvia Plath.
Everything you need in the bank. + good mood Different people enter the bathhouse, but they leave happy. Vladimir Borisov.
"The only place that not a single Muscovite has passed is the BATH." "Moscow without baths is not Moscow." V. A. Gilyarovsky.
“Baths in Moscow, as a rule, were built by the river in order to quickly plunge into the water, and then return to the hot steam room. In winter, ice holes were specially made for this ”. V. A. Gilyarovsky.
"Without St. Petersburg and without a bath, we are like a body without a soul." Alexey Nikolaevich Tolstoy.
"The Russians consider it impossible to conclude a friendship without inviting them to the bathhouse and then having a meal at the same table." Jacob Reitenfels.
Bathhouse - all the humor is collected on the site Sauna without steam, that cabbage soup without broth.
The bath will wash away all sins.
Bath drives any disease from the body.
The bathhouse soars, the bathhouse rules.
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A father with a young son wash in a bath.
- Dad, - the son points with a finger, - does mom have such a thing?
- No, son, she uses mine.
If a naked man accidentally falls into a women's bath, the women squeal and splash boiling water into him. And if a nude girl is in a man's - all men are very happy, welcoming and hospitable! This once again proves the kindness of a man's heart!
Two little boys in the bath saw a man with a huge belly. Suitable for him:
- Uncle, what have you got there?
- Bomb!
“Let's blow it up,” one boy says to another.
- Nope. We won't have time to escape, the fuse is too short.
Three men in the bathhouse, two girls came to them:
- Oh, there are three of you, let us call a girlfriend or pay extra?
- Girls, everything is fine, there are two of us, and Lyokhe is putting up with his wife today.
Two men came to the bathhouse. One has a shaved groin:
- What does a friend say with sympathy, mandavoshki?
- No, blowjob with gum!
- Would you, Vasily Vanych, even start a blog, tunnels?
- Fleas, Petka, will start by themselves if you don't go to the bathhouse for a long time ...
A Chukchi is walking, leading a cow on a leash and dragging a pipe under his arm. To meet - another Chukchi.
- Great, neighbor!
- Great!
- Where are you going?
- However, here, geologists invited to the bathhouse.
- And why the cow? - They said, however, to come with their heifer. - And the pipe? - However, we will be buzzing all night.
Two friends take a steam bath:
- Oh, Zin, your legs are crooked!
- Well, they do go to work.
- Where are you going?
- Yes, to buy eggs. - To the store or what?
- No, to the bathhouse ...
- Hey, mine banned ...
- He's got a job as a system administrator?
- I went to the baths with the girls!
In ancient China, baths were not divided into female and male, but when the population exceeded one billion, everyone realized that this was a mistake.
A man caught a goldfish and made a wish for her to experience an orgasm with his wife at the same time. A week later he comes to the fish and says:
- Cancel the wish!
- Why?
- Yes, somehow uncomfortable, it turns out: we sit with friends in the bath, drink beer and suddenly I finish!
- The terminator went to the bathhouse, drops the soap, bends over him. Suddenly the system message: - A new device was found.
- The kindergarten teachers have forgotten two Moldovan children in the sandbox. - By the evening they built a summer cottage, a bathhouse and a swimming pool.
Girls in the bath:
- Val, why are you bruised all over your ass? Are you working as a prostitute?
- Well no. I go to Zaporozhets.
According to statistics, 70% of the bath visitors forget to wash, but 90% of them do not regret it at all.
A man and a woman came to the bathhouse, but the attendant does not give them one number. The man insists:
- But this is my wife!
- Oh, how clean she is! Today is the fourth time in the bathhouse!
- Three came to the bathhouse: a hard worker, a director and a deputy. Take off your clothes, look - everyone has it up to the knee ... - The hard worker has hands, the director has a belly, the deputy has a tongue ...
A man comes into a bathhouse, and there negros wash. All blacks have black penises, and one white. The man asks:
- Why do you all have black and that of you white?
- We are not blacks, we are miners. And he got married yesterday.
***
One guy tells a friend:
- I don't go to the bathhouse anymore. They are not allowed into the women's room, and the men's room is not interesting.
Five Georgians come to the bathhouse, take out the soap and suddenly it falls to the floor. One of them says:
- Well, here's a pancake and washed.
At three in the morning the call:
- Is this a bathhouse?
- Not?
- Why are you in your underpants?
- Ale, is this a morgue?
- No, it's a bathhouse.
- Damn, I need a morgue.
- Well, you wash yourself first.
In the bath, one Chukchi rubs the other's back:
- Well rub, however, the shirt has already appeared!
One blonde another:
- Every year, on December 31, my friends and I go to the bathhouse. What can you do, a piece of bucks is not superfluous ...
In the bath:
- Gogi, pick up the soap.
- You better pick up the soap, Givi.
- Okay, let's pick it up once, and let's go.
In a rural school, due to the lack of anatomy textbooks ... a hole in the bathhouse wall was approved by the Ministry of Education!
- Hi dear, I'm in the sauna ...
- And how is it?
- Just as you always say - no women, only men!
The men are sitting in the bath. The cell phone rings. One picks up the phone:
- Yes, dear, what did you want? - A fur coat?
- Of course! Do you know where the money is? Okay! More boots! Yes please! And buy a handbag!
Turns off the mobile and asks:
- Guys, whose phone number?
- Hello, is this a brothel?
- No, it's a sauna ...
- How can I call the brothel?
- Call back in an hour and a half or two.
The guy and the girl decided to go to the bathhouse. They come up, and the guard at the entrance says:
- Excuse me, young man, but we can't do it with ours!
Petka and Vasily Ivanovich wash in the bath, and Petka says:
- Vasily Ivanovich your heels are dirtier than mine.
- So I am so much older than you!
A Georgian walks through the city, sees a beautiful woman and says to her:
- Girl, and girl, come with me to the bathhouse.
- Fool, impudent, idiot!
Well, you don't want to wash - go dirty!
Olya and Masha always dreamed of visiting the Tretyakov Gallery, but for some reason they were always taken only to the sauna ...
- Count it up, my sister went crazy: she pretended to be a man and went to serve in the army.
- But she will have to go to the soldiers' bathhouse! With the men! Someone will definitely pass!
- Who will hand over something ?!
Little Johnny is washing with his mother in the bathhouse and notices her curly triangle.
- What is it, mommy !?
- It's such a loofah! - Mom answers.
“You know, dad’s better,” says Little Johnny in a businesslike manner, “he’s with a pen!
Female and male: "A-ah-ah-ah !!!", when an individual of the opposite sex appears in the bath, they sound differently.
The foreman Petrov can not finish building his dacha, because he steals a brick from himself and builds a bathhouse out of it.
Two men enter the sauna and immediately jump out of the steam room, scalded. The temperature is outrageous. They go to complain to the director, they say, it is impossible to endure.
“Forgive our new bathhouse attendant. He is just mastering the temperature regime. He won't fill his whole hand in any way - a couple of days since he transferred from the crematorium.
Fire in the women's bath. Firefighters arrive, a man is standing near the bathhouse:
- Late, brothers, late!
- How late, the bathhouse is on fire?
- The bathhouse is on fire, but the naked women have already fled!
The bathhouse is a phenomenon of Russian culture that no foreigner has ever known! Pictures about the bathhouse partly help to understand the culture of light steam. But the bathhouse is not just a separate building where you can wash yourself!
First of all, the bath is the place of the ritual of cleansing the soul and body. And also a kind of health resort, where the existing ailments were expelled, the body warmed up, preventing diseases. Light steam is inhalation and a way of removing waste products through the pores on the body. Dousing with cold water, rubbing with snow or swimming in an ice-hole is a charge of vivacity for the coming week and the best method of hardening the body. And birch brooms are an excellent massager!
How pleasant it is to get together with a cheerful company for a joint cleansing ritual. And there is no need to desecrate this place with alcoholic drinks. Humor and laughter will come to you without additional doping. Spank each other with brooms! Rub each other's backs! This is fun, and emotional release, and the health benefits of both!
Modern sauna hats are worth noting. This is truly a treasure trove of national humor.
In the old days, rituals and ceremonies were held in the baths, because this is the most energetically clean place where evil spirits cannot enter.
Many of today's cool pictures about the bathhouse are reduced to vulgarity. This is a little depressing.
