There is only one person who is capable of leading destiny - you yourself. It is foolish to sit in anticipation of the unattainable, you need to achieve success, act, be decisive, show strength of mind. It so happens that circumstances are against us, what should we do? The answer is simple:

1. do not despair;
2. never give up;
3. set goals for yourself;
4. fight for your happiness, no matter what.

Agree, every person at least once suffered from depression, stress, misunderstanding or betrayal, he wanted peace, a quick solution to the problem. Alas, one must perceive the realities as they are. Until there is decisiveness, the results are nowhere to be found.

You can get rid of any obstacle and it is necessary to do it with enthusiasm, understanding that obstacles change our thinking, make us stronger, wiser, more demanding.

An individual approach should be sought for every trouble in life, which depends on many factors: goals, values, priorities, etc.

Sometimes it seems that there is no way out, making the right decision is an impossible task. But life goes on as usual, and it is much better to be an active participant in it than just sit and constantly suffer, and then get angry with yourself because of the missed opportunities. Difficulties provide an opportunity to enjoy the joys, victories, accept defeats, adapt to changes.

So how do you make the right decision and not regret anything? This is what the article will be about.

The main thing is motivation

Change not for those around you, don't prove anything to anyone, just be aware of the opportunity to motivate yourself correctly. Understand why it is needed, what are the ways to implement your plan, then even a difficult decision will be easier.

The most persistent and responsible one, who really wants to achieve a result, understands that he simply has no right to give up.

Basically, motive is the impetus for action. If arguments can be made, then this can no longer be attributed to spontaneity and thoughtlessness, which means that there is no risk of harm.

It is important to analyze your own thoughts, if in doubt - think carefully, do not rush.

Let's give an example

If a girl is overweight and dreams of an ideal figure, then it is reasonable to take an example from athletes. You can seek advice from a nutritionist, and not starve yourself in panic, ruin your health.

Motivation is great, but it needs to be real, help you make tough decisions, not create new trouble.

Trust your intuition

As a rule, it is better not to make an important decision in a hurry, you need to think, weigh all the pros and cons, but if you need to decide quickly, do as you originally intended.

Usually the subconscious mind tells us the right option. What comes to mind first often works with a bang.

The more we think, the more questions and doubts arise.

1. Never drive yourself to the point of nervous exhaustion.
2. Do not suffer.
3. Learn not to delay solving the problem.
4. Act harmoniously, perceive what is happening without panic.

Before trusting your intuition, think about whether you or someone of your acquaintances have been in such a situation before, is it possible to predict the outcome, is there enough experience and knowledge to independently determine the difficulties that have arisen?

Use Descartes Square

There is a simple scheme proposed by Rene Descartes that will simplify the task of making the right decisions.

For example, we are thinking about changing jobs, but we are afraid that we will screw up. Let's plunge into reality and determine how adequate thoughts visit our heads.

• It is correct not to dwell on one of the parties, but to analyze the act with its possible consequences.

It is best to work with the square in writing. Expanded written answers will push you to the correct decision without a doubt.

• What Descartes' square looks like:

All four questions should be answered with broad statements that will help you stay in the same job or quit, break up or continue the relationship with the person. We need to find arguments in order to convince ourselves, to understand how strong the values, goals, desires, and priorities are.

There is always at least one person who participates in our life and is ready to help.

From the outside, a friend can consider the same situation, only calmer, reason more sensibly. It is easier for everyone when it concerns us indirectly.

If there is no such person, imagine that they came to you for help with such a problem, then you will be able to show calmness and a cold mind.

Decide on your priorities

When it comes to something serious, you should forget about the opinion of the masses, inheritance, the collective mind.

1. You can not show negligence, dependence, lead your life without the help of outsiders, show your ideas, and do not chase after what is in trend.
2. Don't let people force anything on you. All are different from nature, each has its own purpose.

Based on the character, morality, values, hobbies, field of activity, priorities should be formed. We get what is close to us and makes us rejoice.

The morning is wiser than the evening

For some reason, the brightest thoughts visit at night. Naturally, no cherished insight will happen in the morning, but after delaying the moment, you can make a worthwhile decision. It will be rethought several times and with a logical conclusion.

Emotions aside

Always make the final decision yourself. Do not try to shove off responsibility, to insulate yourself from the problem instead of trying to solve it. Don't rely on luck or fortune. Take responsibility for everything that happens in life.

Remember: The life position of an outsider is a way of being “if only nobody touches”.

Emotions are life, but you always have to get the upper hand and be able to manage them. In the heat of the moment, you can do something that you have to regret for a long time.

Our whole life is woven from many decisions that we make every minute. It happens that every second, and even unconsciously. At some moments, we think about how to make a decision, at other moments, a decision is required only to perform some of our usual actions. But one way or another, in order to start doing something, you must first make a decision.

Did you know that there are a myriad of things, and even fateful ones, that can be achieved by thinking about it for just one minute. Only 60 seconds of our time.

Is 1 minute a lot or a little?

Perhaps some of you will now smile and think to yourself that this does not happen. And that serious and business people should weigh the pros and cons ... Yes, I agree with this, although this is already happening after you have decided to act in this direction.

Let's say you've been thinking about changing jobs for a month. So, sometimes, after gossip with colleagues or a meeting with a successful classmate, who has achieved much more in his life in the same time as you. But then, this vague desire, under the onslaught of the everyday and daily routine, completely disappears from your field of vision. And once again, someday he will appear timidly and just as strangely disappear.

And you just need to get distracted at such a moment from all other matters, concentrate, ask yourself some serious questions and decide now and here: how badly I want to leave this job. Particularly doubtful, you can draw on a piece of paper or in your imagination the well-known "pluses and minuses" we determine what is more and make a decision quickly.

Yes, I know, I know. Now tell me that you will hurry, you will make people laugh. Yes, it happens. But you must clearly understand that almost any decision can be made in a minute. Almost anyone. It is clear that not all. Here, too, the mind must be turned on.

Well, such a non-trivial desire, how to become a millionaire, you see, can you accept in a minute? No, I hear it in the comments ... I argue with you, you can read about this in a very fascinating and interesting book by Mark Victor Hansen and Robert Allen "Millionaire in a Minute". A book about business, I think it will be interesting for many to read it. The authors assure that the decision to become a millionaire can be made in just a minute. Anything that follows is no longer relevant to making a decision. Do you agree?

And in our fairly common example of a desire to change jobs, there was simply no time to stop for a minute and make the right decision. You know, I also had such life situations when the decision matured for a long time, but I did not dare to make the decision that I needed because of the large number of plus signs. Until the moment when there were more cons. Most likely, this is normal, but it is quite possible that if I acted faster, I would not have missed so many opportunities.

The secret of successful people

Do you know the secret of successful people, and why are they so much more effective in their lives than many of us? They just manage to do more in the same time. And they don't just manage to do more, but manage to do more MAJOR things. Here's a simple secret. If we come to an agreement with ourselves and do one more main thing every day than the previous one, I assure you, our personal efficiency will increase significantly in a short time.

This means that the next day we will have to spend more than one minute on making a decision, but as many as two, since we should also have not one, but two tasks. It is clear that no one forces us to bring it to infinity; nevertheless, all our affairs must first of all be brought to a logical result. But if we reasonably approach this moment, then the main things will appear regardless of our participation with enviable regularity.

Most important: how to make a decision

And here are some more interesting considerations on how to make a choice.

heads or tails

You walk along the seashore and notice a bizarrely shaped bottle half sticking out of the sand.
You pick it up and open it.
A light fog emanates from the bottle, which turns into a fabulous genie.
Unlike other jinn, this one does not offer to fulfill your three wishes.
He gives you the right to choose.
Option one:
You will get five extra years of life, provided that the life of another person, chosen at random, is shortened by five years.
Do you want to extend your life on such terms?
Option two:
You can get twenty thousand dollars if you agree to get a tattoo the size of a dollar bill.
Will you take this money?
If so, where will you tattoo and which pattern will you choose?
Option three:
When you wake up tomorrow morning, you can acquire a new quality or skill.
What will you choose?

Not a bad test. And how many such alternatives appear in our life when you cannot decide what to do in a given situation. Experts advise to develop your own system for evaluating options, which is based on many factors: logic, reason, practical experience, emotions, feelings.

The level of our intellectual form depends on how actively we participate at the moment of making a decision. This is why it is so important to learn how to choose the right one. No wonder they say: "You are what you choose." Incidentally, this statement belongs to management consultant John Arnold. A well-aimed statement quickly became an aphorism.

What do you need to do to make a decision?

Let's stop for a minute and find out the most important thing that will help us learn how to make the right decision:

1. These are common truths, my friends. I'm sure you all know that. In fact, you know all this, just don't apply it. The problem is simply what needs to be done. And if you do unusual things, it means that you need to get out of your comfort zone. But this is already uncomfortable. True? therefore start and get out of your comfort zone.

If you don't know where you are going, it doesn't matter which path you choose.
Brothers Karamazov, outstanding jugglers

3. Defining the parametersthat our goals must meet. This is not difficult. We ask ourselves only three important questions.

What do I want to get?

What do I want to avoid?

4. We are looking for an alternative solution... We try to ensure that our requirements, obtained by answering the listed questions, generate alternative solutions themselves.

5. We evaluate and check the selected solution. Here the queen is mathematics. We will have to compare according to criteria, parameters, technical characteristics, degree of risk, size of resources, etc.

Decisions made quickly are not correct.
Sophocles, poet and playwright

Someone who thinks too much does little.
Johann Friedrich Schiller, poet and playwright

6. Introducing the consequences the decision we made. The most interesting point, in my opinion. It already depends on the strength of our imagination. In no case at this stage should you consult with relatives, friends and neighbors. For them, you must always remain who you are. They will advise you ...

7. Required we feel ourselves and our own intuition. We must try to choose the right option and make the right decision, that is, what we feel is right.

8. We make a decisionand we are not afraid that we made the wrong choice. We also need mistakes, though not in a large number. Errors are the experience that will later allow us to more quickly evaluate the decision we make.

9. Once you have made a decision, you need to understand that will have to act in accordance with it.

I hear your indignant remarks: And all this can be done in a minute? Well, at first, it may not be possible to be in time in a minute, but over time, the actions of our thought process will be brought to automatism, and it will become much easier to make decisions than now. Well, then, no one bothers you to develop your own decision-making methodology, I hope that you will definitely share it with us.

Make a decision in 1 minute

You can do a lot in one minute. You can just dream or regret. You can say “I'm quitting,” you can say something important or let something important happen through your silence. You can decide who you want to live with, what you want to do, whether you like doing it. In one minute, you can determine your most important desire, and understand what it is worth living for. In one minute you can read this article and find out how to make a decision.

Find those things, those things, those tasks to start with, the decision on which you can make in just 60 seconds. In just one minute of our time. Appreciate your time and do not do so as to later regret missed opportunities. Let's act faster!

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To some extent we influence our destiny. And, of course, they are interested in making the best choice. This is why it is important to use a variety of tools to help predict the positive and negative consequences of making a decision.

Why do people make bad decisions?

This is not an easy question when you think about it. You can, of course, get off with the banal: "People are stupid." But even smart, talented, experienced people make bad decisions. That's why:

• Lack of time
• Hope for the only source of information
• Emotional experiences
• A lot of thoughts about the problem
• Failure to notice alternatives and new opportunities
• Lack of knowledge and clarity
• Underestimating the amount of time it takes to make the right decision
• Reassessment of your own skills, knowledge, skills and resources
• Fear of making the wrong decision

All these barriers make it difficult to make the right decision. And if they work in tandem, trio or quartet, then the situation becomes even worse. How to overcome them?

Practice 360-degree thinking

Thoughts influence emotions, emotions influence decisions, and decisions influence actions. And each link in this chain can be optimally tuned.

360-degree thinking has three critical components that are also methods. They can be used to effectively analyze the situation, after which it becomes easier to make the right decision.

These are the components:

• A look into the past.
• Foresight.
• Insight.

By applying all three of these methods of thinking, you are looking at your life from a 360-degree perspective. That is, they work best together.

A look into the past

A look into the past (aka retrospective analysis) will help you critically assess your past. This allows you to comprehensively understand the situation that has already happened in order to improve your future decisions.

This is helpful because it helps you learn from mistakes, problems, setbacks, and past successes. As a result of this learning experience, you can adjust your course of action to move forward much faster.

If you don't know or have never practiced self-reflection, then this is a very suitable case. Take time to reflect on the decisions you made yesterday. Ask yourself:

• What did I do yesterday?
• What decisions have I made?
• What problems did you face?
• How did I deal with these problems?
• How did I deal with that encountered when I ran into the problem?
• How do I feel about this?
• From what other point of view can you look at my yesterday's problems?
• What can I learn from yesterday's experience?
• What could I have done differently?
• What do I need to improve to better deal with this problem next time?

Note that this is not just a simple spinning of negative thoughts (which you usually do), but self-reflection. You ask yourself the right questions, provide answers, and figure out what you can do better next time. Now you are more aware of what decisions and in what state you are making.

From now on, you will begin to relate to your problems and decision making more consciously, rather than on autopilot. Next time, there is a great chance of getting it right. In other words, you've drawn the right conclusions from past experience - that's what all successful people do.

Remember not to use the past to make future decisions. Each situation is unique in its own way. What works today may not work tomorrow. But the process of self-reflection itself is very useful, because it makes you reflect on your thinking, actions and decisions made.

Foresight

Foresight is the ability to predict future events, changes, trends and the consequences of one's actions. Moreover, it is the ability to explore alternative scenarios that could potentially unfold.

This mindset is helpful because it helps you see and predict what might lie ahead. Therefore, you will be better able to identify opportunities and be much less likely to make mistakes when making decisions.

Foresight works great in tandem with a look back. This way you can use the past as a barometer to predict the future and therefore make better decisions.

To develop foresight, you need to learn how to successfully address potential threats and identify your needs in advance. This is planning, as well as gathering the necessary resources to help in the future.

Ask yourself the following questions:

• How will this decision affect the future?
• How will this decision affect my future decisions?
• What are the consequences of making this decision?
• What opportunities will I have after making this decision?
• What problems will arise?
• What if everything goes wrong? How will I react?
• What is my plan B and C?
• What happens if ...?

Foresight is not an exact science. Rather, it is a game in which you try to make the best decision based on a combination of lessons learned from the past and ideas from the present.

With these two factors in mind, you can generate possible future scenarios that will help you make better decisions.

Insight

Discernment is the ability to discern the true nature of a situation. This is the ability to understand your position, as well as cause and effect relationships. In other words, it is about gaining an accurate understanding of the people, events and circumstances of your life.

Discernment is often a catalyst for creativity, innovation, and inspiration. This is what brings out the Eureka! Moments when all the pieces of the puzzle suddenly come together into something understandable. It's like you've stepped out of the fog and now finally see things in a whole new way that opens up a world of new possibilities.

However, it is worth saying that the ideas that come to your mind are nothing more than an interpretation of reality based on past experiences, as well as perceptions and expectations from the future. In short, real discernment comes only when you have mastered the other two ways of thinking.

This is the skill that the world's best entrepreneurs and politicians have. To master it, you need to read a lot, understand people and be curious. But even this is not enough. You need to learn to understand the patterns of your thinking, get rid of cognitive distortions, be in a conscious state and see the essence of things. In a sense, we are talking about intuition.

Start by becoming more observant of what is happening around and within you. Be aware of the world around you and ask deep questions about yourself, others, and the circumstances in which you find yourself. For instance:

• Why am I doing what I am doing? What does it matter to me?
• What do others need? Why is it important to them?
• What's happening? Why is this happening? What does it mean?
• What is the problem? How did this become a problem? Why is it still a problem?
• Why are the circumstances exactly like this and not different?
• How did this happen and why does it matter?
• What is the value of knowing about this? How does this knowledge change my point of view?
• What's another way to look at this situation? Why is it important?
• Why did this happen? What led to this? What happened before that? Is there a connection?
• How are these two events related? Why are they connected this way?
• How was it done? Who did it? Could it be otherwise?

If you start asking these and similar questions, you will become very attentive and observant. Tyrion Lannister, if you will, who often asked himself what others needed and carefully analyzed the events of his life and the world around him.

You will learn to understand why things are the way they are and that they could potentially be different. In fact, you are no longer a passive observer. As a result, you begin to think critically about yourself, about others, and about the circumstances you are dealing with. All this stimulates the emergence of deeper thoughts, allowing you to draw conclusions and situations that you have never considered before. This opens up new levels of understanding.

There are situations when the solution lies on the surface, you just need to reach out. Others are complex and consist of many factors. To make the right decision, you need to use 360-degree thinking, considering the problem from all angles. It won't work right away, but certain results will be visible after the first application of this technique.

Practice a step by step decision making process

Step one: get clear clarity about what you want

Your first step is to clearly understand your desired outcome and identify the resources needed to achieve that outcome. Ask yourself:

• What is my desired result?
• What exactly would I like to achieve?
• What might be required to achieve this result?
• How should I prioritize my efforts?

Understanding what result you want to achieve is important because it (understanding) helps to direct all efforts towards one goal. Then you can make better decisions.

Step two: take action to achieve the desired result

When you're not quite sure how to get to your desired destination, it's easy to panic. However, what matters is that you take the first step.

You only need to take one step, which will move you a little closer to the desired result. There is probably still a lot of fog ahead, but it is clear that this action is necessary. For example, if you are looking to buy a car and are completely overwhelmed by the number of options, the first step might be to read specialized car forums. Having learned to understand the topic, you can make a more balanced decision.

In any complex decision, there are always several actions that you can start with. At some point, you will advance and the next steps will become more obvious.

Step three: track results

You should always be vigilant about what works and what doesn't. There is nothing to waste precious time on ineffective tools.

However, to start measuring progress, you need to understand what exactly you will be measuring. Ask yourself the following questions:

• How do I know I am heading in the right direction?
• How specifically will I measure my progress?
• How will I know I have achieved my goal?

The more clarity about where you are, the better the decision.

Step four: stay flexible in your decisions

The action plan will always be reworked, because it is impossible to predict all the factors in this absurd world. Therefore, you must be flexible in your decisions and actions at any time. Always and everywhere keep your long-term goals in mind so you stay on track.

Ask yourself:

• What results do I want to achieve?
• What am I doing now?
• Does the current action bring me closer to results?
• Is this the best way to do it?
• What should I change to get the best results?

Don't lose your temper if things don't go as planned. This is normal. Find out why you are off course, be curious, not annoyed. With the curiosity of a scientist, ask yourself questions and look for optimal solutions.

Complete decision making process

The previous point was rather preparatory and theoretical. Here we will talk about the complete decision-making process. It will take significantly more time, which means that you need to use it if the problem you are facing is really important.

Step one: get clarity

Let's first understand the importance of the decision you are about to make. Ask yourself:

• What are the options?
• What decision should I ideally make?
• Why is this decision so important?
• How will it help me?
• How important is this decision for my loved ones?
• Can it change my life?
• Do other people understand the importance of this decision?

It is worth being clear about the importance of the decision you are about to make, because it will help determine how much effort and time you will spend.

Step two: gather facts and explore options

Sometimes a solution requires the collection of a lot of information. And, if it is important to you, then you need to allocate enough time for this.

Once you've gathered all the information you need, take the time to consider possible ways forward. Ask yourself:

• What decision can I make?
• What actions can I do?
• What options are there?
• What do I need?

For one solution, you may need money, help from others, and a lot of time. For another, a lot of work and patience. What will be best for you?

It's time to take a look at the pros and cons of each solution. Ask yourself:

• What are the benefits of this course of action?
• What are the disadvantages?
• What are the advantages of one option over the other?

As you ask yourself these questions, think about the sacrifices you will have to make in the first and second case. They may not be obvious: sometimes you can ruin your relationship with others by making a decision that does not affect them.

It all comes down mostly to opportunity cost. By taking one course of action, you may not be able to take another, and there may be advantages and disadvantages for different options.

Step four: identify the worst-case scenario

Remember Murphy's law: "If some kind of trouble can happen, it will definitely happen." Take it into account whenever you make a decision.

Ask yourself, “What's the worst that could happen if I made this decision. How will I deal with the consequences? "

Of course, the worst-case scenario may not always happen. But you need to be ready for it. At least psychologically. After weighing the pros and cons, figuring out which worst-case scenarios await you, make a decision... But remember, it should be flexible: if something goes wrong, you can quickly rebuild and update your action plan.

Step five: learn from your experience

You made a decision and now you are either reaping the fruits of your efforts or regretting your mistakes. In any case, these are all experiences to be appreciated. Ask yourself:

• What have I learned from this experience?
• What have I learned from how I make decisions?
• Was this decision in complete harmony with my personality and my values?
• Have I achieved the desired result?
• Have I adjusted my actions when I ran into problems?

There are many questions you could ask yourself. So please don't limit yourself to just these. Think of others to ask, especially after mistakes, defeat, or failure.

We wish you good luck!